Betrayal
by obsessedwithstabler
Summary: They should have known happily ever after was only for fairytales. And now, it just might destroy all of them... Coauthored with InfinityStar
1. Stolen

Hey, everyone! We're back! In honor of the new CI episode tonight, we decided to post the first chapter of the second story in The Never Ending story series. If you decided to read this, you're probably a fan of How Could This Happen To Me? Don't worry. You won't be disappointed with this one! This story picks up about three months after the final chapter of How Could This Happen To Me? So enjoy this first chapter, and please remember to review!

Disclaimers: Not ours!

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"Mike! Mike, get in here!" Carolyn shouted from where she was sitting in the living room.

He came running into the room. "What? What's wrong?"

She smiled brightly at him, but it faded when she looked at their daughter. "She pulled herself up!" she said, motioning to Kiska, who was now sitting on her bottom in front of the couch.

He looked at the baby, then back at Carolyn. "See? I'm not the only one she plays that game with. You didn't believe me when she crawled for the first time, remember?"

She rolled her eyes at him, then called her daughter's name. "Kiska, come on, baby. Show Daddy how you can stand up all by yourself!"

He dropped down to one knee beside the couch, reached into his pocket and pulled out a lollipop. "Look here, Kitkat."

"Bribery, Mike? Low," she laughed.

"Effective. Look."

Her eyes rounded in surprise as the baby grabbed the couch and raised herself shakily, then leaned against the couch cushion. "Oh my God! She's standing up by herself!" Carolyn cried, smiling proudly at her daughter.

She reached out to Mike, and he lifted her into his arms, unwrapped the lollipop and handed it to her.

She laughed and shook her head. "She would have done that for you, even if you didn't give her a lollipop. You know that, right?"

"I call it insurance," he grinned.

"I call it spoiling her rotten."

"It's in my job description."

She grinned and sat Indian style. "Well, you can deal with her when she's sixteen, okay?"

"I reserve the right to rescind my paternity if she turns Britney on us."

"The day that happens, I believe I'll see a pig fly." She pushed herself to her feet and headed into the kitchen.

"Yeah, that's what her dad said, too."

She shook her head and opened the refrigerator, retrieving a bottle. Closing the door, she paused for a moment to look at the dozens of pictures that littered the door of the refrigerator. She fingered a small, brightly colored magnetic K, then walked back into the living room.

Mike was sitting on the couch, with the baby on his knee, gently bouncing her. She was giggling. When he stopped, she smiled and said, "Da!" He laughed and bounced her some more.

Carolyn quirked an eyebrow and sat down beside them, handing Kiska the bottle. "Told you so."

"Told me so, what?"

"Her first word would be Daddy." She thought for a moment. "Or technically, Da."

He snorted. "That's only because I spoil her."

She shrugged. "At least it wasn't a- that other word." She fingered one of Kiska's curls as she latched onto the bottle and held it between her chubby little hands. "How's your new partner working out?" she queried, watching Kiska settle against his chest and sigh contently.

"She's okay. How long do you think it's gonna take for you to realize Major Case is where you belong and come back?"

She froze, then turned her head slowly and focused her dark eyes on him. "Come back?"

"Yes, come back. Is there a problem with that?"

She swallowed thickly as she attempted to form a coherent response. "Really? Is there... even a place available?"

"Evans is transferring to Manhattan Homicide next month."

She sighed and rested her head on his shoulder. "I'm... rusty. And what about the baby?"

"We can find a decent day care center. It's up to you. If you'd rather stay home with Kitkat, that's fine."

She sighed quietly. "I... want to be your partner again, Mike. I do. But it's not just us anymore. I don't want to rush into anything."

"Take your time."

"Thanks." She slid her arm around him and curled into his side. Then she reached out and laid her palm against their daughter's back.

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"Are you comfortable?" Alex asked in amusement as Bobby curled up beside her and stretched his hand out over her swollen belly.

He sighed softly, caressing her stomach. "Very."

She smiled and touched his hair, then took another bite of her banana. "I swear, this kid is going to be born part monkey if I keep having these cravings," she grumbled.

He laughed softly, leaning down to kiss her belly. "Your baby will be beautiful," he murmured.

She reached out and cupped his cheek. "Our baby," she corrected, smiling.

"You're doing all the work," he insisted.

Rolling her eyes, she said, "And this kid got half of her genes from you. Knowing my luck, she'll be talking circles around the new ADA before she's walking."

He cocked an eyebrow at her. "She?"

"Here we go again."

"Unless you know something I don't, we aren't sure..."

She shrugged and rested one hand on her stomach. "I just have a feeling."

"Fifty-fifty, baby."

"I know." She shifted in her seat and sighed softly.

His fingers trailed over her skin. "Hey, baby..." he said to her stomach.

She froze suddenly, and her eyes widened. "Bobby? Did you feel that?"

His hand had stopped moving and he studied her skin. "Yes," he murmured, voice filled with awe. "H-he moved."

Her grin widened, and she rested her hand on her belly. "She's saying hi," she murmured.

"Is this...the first time...?"

She nodded slowly. "Yes," she whispered. She rested one hand over his, and the other on her belly. "Wow. This is... amazing," she murmured, rubbing his hand slowly.

He closed his eyes, concentrating on the movement below his hand. A small smile touched his mouth.

After a few moments, she broke the quiet and said, "I... I missed this."

"The baby, uh...moving?"

"Being pregnant."

"You...were beautiful...in a different way...than you usually are."

She blushed a little and looked down at her belly. "The only thing I don't like about this is... leave." She groaned softly. "Until this little one is born, I'll be stuck doing nothing."

"That's the part I hate most, too."

"Just try not to terrorize your new partner, okay?"

"I don't do it intentionally."

"I know. Just remember to go slow, and that they can't read your mind."

"I always...miss you."

She smiled and kissed his forehead. "I'll miss you, too. But remember, it's not going to be like last time. After work, you get to come home and listen to me complain about having nothing to do."

He chuckled. "And you get to listen to me complain that my partner isn't you. I don't like slowing down and taking a half dozen steps backwards to explain what I'm thinking. I...need you."

"But I'll be back before you know it."

"It'll still be too long."

"Baby, five minutes is too long for you."

"Then imagine how long two months is."

She gently fingered one of his curls. "I know. Believe me, I'm going to miss you, too."

"I-I know...but it's different."

She sat up in the bed and tugged on his arm until he was sitting behind her. Then she rested against his chest. "How is it different?" she murmured, pulling his arm around her and stroking it gently.

"Like you said, I'll be home every night. But work...I...I just don't do well without you."

She snuggled deeper into his arms and sighed quietly. "I know. The only thing you can do is take it a little at a time."

He kissed her head. "I survived your nephew; I'll survive this. But I didn't like it then and I don't have to like it now."

She smiled. "No, you don't. But this time, it will be much different. I promise." Her tone became lighter. "And besides, when the two a.m. feedings start, you'll be glad to go back to work."

"What makes you think I won't get up with the baby?"

"You're going to get up with her, at all hours of the night?"

"Of course I will."

She smiled warmly and threaded her fingers through his. "Only you, Bobby."

"He's my baby, too," he murmured against her ear.

"Speaking of... Have you been thinking about names?"

"Uh...no, not yet. Have you?"

"Only since I was seven."

"Far be it for me to interfere with your dreams. What are we going to name the baby?"

"Hey, I want your ideas, too. I never actually picked a name," she stated, smirking when goosebumps rose on his arm where she was caressing him.

"But you know what you want," he said softly, his breath caressing her ear.

"No. I have a few ideas."

"All right. Let's hear them."

"Cheyanne."

"For a girl...Keep going.."

"Ha ha, yes. A girl. But there are some boy names I like. Justin, Malcolm, and Trevor."

"What about Stephen?"

"Stephen..." She thought about that for a moment. "Odd name for a girl," she teased, poking him gently.

He laughed into her hair. "That was my grandfather's name...and he...he was good to me."

Her smile faded a little and pulled his hand up to her face. Then she kissed his palm and snuggled closer to him. "I like Stephen." His arms tightened around her, and she ran her thumb along his skin as she thought. Finally she said softly, "What about Christopher?"

"With Stephen..." He gave it some thought and nodded. "I like it."

"Stephen Christopher." She paused, then added, "Stephen Christopher Goren. We're going to be in trouble if it's a girl."

"Why's that?"

"I'm not naming my daughter that. So... what would you pick for a girl's name?"

"You like Cheyanne."

"I like it, but I don't know. It doesn't really go with Goren," she teased. Then she added, "Besides, I want to know what you like."

"It goes just fine with Goren. It's fine with me."

She started to say something, then sighed in exasperation. "Let me up, Bobby."

He loosened his hold on her and watched as she got up.

"I swear, this kid has your timing already," she grumbled, disappearing into the bathroom.

He leaned back and folded his hands behind his head, waiting for her to return. He marveled at how...happy she made him. It was a feeling that had been utterly foreign to him in the past few years.

After washing her hands, Alex walked back into the bedroom and pushed herself onto the bed, then lowered herself against him again. "You know, since you have all the muscle, you get to carry me in a few months." She shivered slightly and reached down, pulling a thick comforter around herself. Then she disappeared beneath the blanket.

He raised an eyebrow. "Where are you going?"

She peeked up at him from beneath the blanket. "It's warm."

With a sparkle in his eye, he tickled her. "Cold, are you?"

She squeaked and laughed, attempting in vain to push his hands away.

He followed her under the comforter, maneuvering her into his arms. "I love you," he whispered when she was nestled against his chest.

"Love you, too." She eyed him suspiciously, then asked, "What did you do now?"

He quirked the corner of his mouth. "Me? What makes you think I did anything?"

"I know you." She slid her hands under his shirt, trailing her fingertips lightly along his spine.

He closed his eyes and shuddered, nuzzling her neck with a soft moan.

She leaned forward and pressed her lips against his, stopping only when she felt their child begin to move again. "Hey," she grumbled, looking down at her belly.

He felt the baby kicking where her abdomen pressed against his. "Someone objects," he observed.

"Great. Not even born yet and already bossing me around. Yes, this is your child."

"I never boss you around. You're the senior partner."

She rolled her eyes. "Fine. Maybe I have it backwards." She smirked and kissed his shoulder, then rolled onto her back.

He rolled toward her, resting on his side as he placed his hand over the baby and kissed her cheek.

She laid her hand over his and tangled their fingers together. Her stomach grumbled, and she smiled and said, "What are you making for dinner? Because apparently, your child and I are hungry."

He drew in a deep breath, taking a mental accounting of the contents of the refrigerator and cupboards. "Chicken and rice sound okay?"

She started to answer, but the baby kicked again, and she grinned. "Sounds great."

He gave her a warm kiss, then slid away from her and headed out of the room.

She watched him go, then snuggled down into the blankets and closed her eyes to wait.

Forty-five minutes later, he carried two plates into the room, setting one on the night stand and handing her the other. He pulled a bottle of water out of one pocket and handed it to her, pulling a beer for himself out of the other pocket. Sitting beside her, he smiled as she began eating with gusto. "Slow down before you choke," he admonished gently.

She rolled her eyes, then swallowed and said, "Hey, it's not my fault he has your appetite."

"I don't eat that much. You must be thinking of Logan. He's the one with the endless appetite."

She took another bite of the rice, then picked out a piece of chicken and grinned. "Very good."

"Thanks."

She turned her head and kissed him, then returned to her dinner.

He laughed quietly and picked up his own dinner.

Once she was finished with her dinner, she put the bowl aside and curled up next to her partner. "You cook, clean, and do laundry. I'm never letting you go."

"I grew up...self-sufficient."

She straightened up a little and laid her head on his shoulder. Snaking her arm around his waist, she kissed his neck and rested her head in the crook of his neck.

He wrapped an arm around her and leaned back against the headboard.

She cupped her stomach with her hands. "Wow."

"Kicking up a storm?"

"Like you wouldn't believe."

He rested a hand on her abdomen and smiled. "My baby," he murmured softly, in awe.

"Yes, your baby. Our baby. With your interrogation skills, and my sugar habits."

"If there's any justice in the world, he'll have your stability."

"With our luck, she'll have my sense of humor."

"And your smile."

"With dark curls and an insatiable curiosity about the world."

"And a sarcastic streak a mile long."

"That's... a little scary. Another me."

"Not scary at all. Reassuring."

She eyed him. "I'd rather have a mini you than a mini me."

"Oh, God, no."

"Yes. Or maybe, if we're really lucky, this kid will have all our good qualities."

"As long as he doesn't have my...well, you know what I mean."

She turned a little, pressing her swollen belly into his side. "This kid is going to be great."

"I hope you're right."

"I know I am." She buried herself deeper into his side and pulled the blanket over herself, unconsciously making a content little noise in the back of her throat.

He closed his eyes and found her mouth, kissing her deeply.

"Hmm..." Her hand came up and kneaded the back of his neck. And when the baby kicked her, she looked down and said, "Hush, little one."

With a soft groan, he sought her out again, pressing his body against hers.

She turned onto her back and pulled him down with her, winding her arms around his neck and kissing him tenderly.

His hand stroked her side, gradually working his way up to her chest.

She shivered and grabbed his hand, threading her fingers through his before she brought their hands to rest over her rapidly beating heart.

He nuzzled his mouth against her ear and whispered, "I want you."

"Where do you think I'm going?"

He fingered the waistband of her pants and gently tugged. "Please..."

"You don't have to ask, Bobby." She pulled her pants off and tugged at his shirt.

He rolled into her, letting her take his shirt off and surrendering to her love.

She pushed his jeans off and kicked them to the floor, then let her palms run along his hips. "Perfect," she murmured.

There was no place in the world he would rather be.

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"Don't give me that look, Bobby," she grumbled, wadding up a piece of paper and tossing it at him.

"What?' he protested.

"I don't have to go on leave yet, and already you've got that "overprotective" thing going on."

"I have always protected you, Eames."

"I know, Goren. But I'm not made of glass. I won't break."

"How about we take no chances, okay?"

She rolled her eyes, her response cut off by a resounding kick in her womb. "God, this kid is yours. She's already found a way to pace." She sighed. "She's already bored in there."

He smiled at her. "I gave my mother hell, too, according to her."

She stood up and walked over to him, grabbing his hand and placing it over her belly. "She's yours, you calm her down," she muttered.

He laughed. "And just how would you have me do that?"

"I don't know. You figure it out, brainiac."

His eyes scanned the general vicinity before he gently squeezed her abdomen and quietly said, "Shh, little one. Give your mom a break, will ya?"

She grinned and rolled her eyes when the baby settled. "Of course she'd listen to you."

"Daddy's baby," he murmured.

She smiled and rubbed his hand, then returned to her seat.

He leaned back in his chair and let his thoughts wander. His baby...with the woman he loved...it didn't get much better.

Mike approached their desks. "Hey, you guys want to go to lunch?"

Alex rubbed her belly and looked at Bobby. "Sure."

Bobby nodded. "Apparently, our baby inherited your appetite, Mike."

Mike raised his eyebrows. "How'd that happen?"

She threw another paper ball at her partner, then stood up and started walking toward the elevator. "Come on, boys," she called.

Bobby grinned at Mike and got up from his desk. They followed Alex to the elevator.

When they finally caught up to her, she looked at Mike and said, "Are we picking up Carolyn, too?"

"Yes. It was her idea. She just called me."

"Great. Let's go," she said, stepping into the elevator.

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"You ready to go see Daddy, baby girl?" Carolyn asked her daughter as she pushed the stroller through the elevator doors.

"Da!" Kiska agreed enthusiastically.

"I should've known," Carolyn laughed. She pushed the stroller out of the building and into the parking lot, freeing one hand to retrieve the keys from her pocket.

Unlocking the car, she opened the back door and buckled Kiska into her car seat. Then she shut the door and popped the trunk, folding the stroller before she placed it in the trunk.

She shut the trunk, and the bat came out of nowhere, crippling her with a blinding force as it made brutal contact with her head. She hit the ground, and another blow sent her spinning towards unconsciousness.

The last thing she heard as the last slivers of awareness slid from her grasp was the sound of her daughter's screams.

TBC...

A/N: Mwhahahaha, evil cliffie! We hope you enjoyed this chapter, and please review!


	2. Like Chasing A Rainbow

Wow, ya'll really liked that first chapter! I know, we left ya'll with an evil cliffie, but hopefully this chapter will make up for it... So read, enjoy, and please remember to review!

Disclaimer: See previous chapter. And if you still don't believe us, they're not ours!!

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

"She's still not answering," Alex said quietly as she shut her phone. Half an hour had passed since Carolyn was due to meet them, and even her unborn child could sense the tension between the three adults.

She looked up and met Mike's worried eyes. "Don't worry, Mike," she murmured reassuringly. "She's probably just stuck in traffic. It's lunch time."

Mike got up and began pacing near their table at the diner. "I don't know. I got a bad feeling...Bobby?"

"Let's go find out."

Alex stood up and pulled the keys from her pocket. "Come on."

As they headed across town, Bobby said, "Traffic would explain a delay, but not why she's not answering her phone."

Alex didn't respond. Worry was gnawing at her, and she gripped the steering wheel in a white knuckle grip.

Bobby reached over and touched her hand. "Try to relax."

She shook her head. The feeling... it was all too familiar. And every few seconds, she had to consciously remind herself that Bobby was right beside her.

He looked over the back seat at Mike, who was pale with worry. And he couldn't ease the knot in his own gut.

The three detectives got out of the car. Mike pointed. "There's her car."

Alex took a deep gulp of air and followed Bobby.

She saw the smear of blood on the ground first, then the bloody handprint on the bumper of Carolyn's car. Her hand flew to her mouth, while her other unconsciously cupped her stomach.

Bobby dropped to a knee beside her, feeling for a pulse. "Call an ambulance," he muttered.  
Alex grabbed her cell phone and steadied her voice long enough to describe the situation and give their location to the operator. Then she closed the phone and crouched down beside Bobby.

Mike was searching the car. He came back to where they were bent over Carolyn. He looked sick. "Kiska's gone, car seat and all."

She noticed his unsteadiness, and she gently grabbed his arm and led him away. "S-she'll be all right, Mike," she said, attempting to reassure him. But she knew that it wasn't working.

Bobby continued to examine Carolyn for injury. The best way for him to manage his own emotion was to keep busy.

Mike's calm unnerved Alex, and she could feel the tension and pain boiling just beneath his skin, where her hand rested. She squeezed his arm, then walked back to stand beside Bobby. "How bad is she?" she asked quietly, her stomach churning at the words that might come.

He pointed to her head. "Uh, she was hit two or three times in the head...blunt force trauma. I can't find any other injuries. Her head injury is bad, Alex."

She inhaled sharply and touched his shoulder, then looked back at Mike. "This... this is bad enough," she muttered, looking at Carolyn. "But... the baby. Bobby, we're probably looking at a kidnapping."

He was having a hard time containing his emotions, and he could feel the restlessness of his agitation building inside him.

She could feel his agitation, and she squeezed his shoulder. "I know. But we need to do everything we can to help her... and Mike."

"I...I know we do," he muttered, shifting where he was beside Carolyn's still form.

She finally heard the wail of an ambulance in the distance, and she gave a small sigh of relief. "Thank God."

Bobby trailed a finger gently along the side of Carolyn's face and got to his feet as the ambulance pulled up. "Did you call CSU, Alex?"

"Yes." She sighed and ran her fingers through her hair.

He carefully went through the car, looking for anything that might tell them what happened to the missing baby. Finding nothing, he started pacing as they waited for CSU. The paramedics stabilized Carolyn quickly and put her into the rig. His agitation was getting the better of him. Logan was in worse shape, his movements bordering on frantic as he searched in vain for something to do.

Alex watched Mike, and as they loaded Carolyn into the back of the ambulance, she gave him a push. "Go with her," she urged.

He looked at her like she'd lost her mind. "My daughter is missing."

"And Carolyn needs you right now. Go with her. Bobby and I are looking for her."

"But..."

Bobby laid a hand on his friend's shoulder. "She's right. Go on. We'll find Kiska. I'll call you later."

Mike looked from one to the other before he finally conceded. He pointed a finger at Bobby. "Find her. But I get first crack at the SOB who did this."

He stormed off.

Alex watched him climb into the back of the ambulance, and she turned her worried eyes on Bobby.

He was not waiting patiently for the CSU team to arrive. He hated wasting any time, but he had no idea where to start. There had to be some trace here in the car...or someone who saw something. His eyes canvassed the surrounding buildings. That was where they should start...once they were done processing the car.

He pulled out a pair of gloves and squatted beside the open door where Kiska's car seat had been as he snapped them on. His gut tightened as he thought about the missing infant and worry sat like a python curled around his heart, slowly squeezing. He closed his eyes and swallowed hard, struggling to focus his thoughts.

Alex watched Bobby for a brief moment, then walked around to the other side and opened the door. Standing across from Bobby, she slowly dragged her gaze over the backseat, checking for anything that seemed out of place.

"Car seat, diaper bag...whoever did this took the things the baby needed." His eyes continued to peruse the back seat. He heard the CSU van arrive, but quickly tuned out the surrounding noise as they set up. He moved closer to the floor, reaching out to lift something from the floor. He held it up for his partner to see.

Alex looked at the strands of blond hair Bobby was holding, and she swallowed thickly. "That's not hers, or the baby's." She carefully pushed herself to her feet. "We need to get that to the lab."

He watched her walk to the closest tech and speak quietly to him, returning with an evidence bag. Gently setting the three hairs into the bag, he stood and took a few steps backward to let the techs in to do their job. He rested a hand on one tech's shoulder, leaning in closer and saying, "This baby is Logan's daughter."

The tech nodded solemnly and accepted the bag from him.

Bobby looked down at his partner as she stepped up to his side. "Uh, we should probably get some uniforms started canvassing," he muttered as he pulled out his wallet. Sliding out a picture of the baby, he put the wallet back into his pocket and crossed to a nearby uniformed officer.

Bobby pointed to the surrounding buildings. "You guys need to canvass the area, find out if anyone saw anything. The baby's name is Kiska Barek." He met the patrolman's eyes. "She's Logan's daughter."

The officer took the picture and looked at the baby's smiling face. "We'll get right on it, detective."

Alex watched him, and her frustration grew, as did her sense of helplessness. So she did the only thing she could. She mimicked Bobby's actions and retrieved a picture of Kiska from her wallet, handing it to another officer. "We need an Amber Alert, now," she stated as the other officer took the picture. "Her name is Kiska Aleshanee Barek, and she's eight months old." She leaned closer and said quietly, "She's also Mike Logan's little girl."

Bobby nodded and rejoined his partner near Barek's car. "We should get over to the hospital," he said quietly. "Logan...he's going to need us."

She nodded. "Let's go."

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She growled in frustration and hit the steering wheel with her fists as the baby continued to cry in the backseat. Finally she pulled into a rest stop and all but jumped out of the car, flinging the backdoor open. Unbuckling the infant, she lifted her into her arms and held her to her chest.

"Shh, shh," she muttered over and over again, smiling at the strangers who cast her pitying looks. The baby was turning herself red from screaming so hard, and she continued to pace and pat her back.

Finally she lost her patience, and she buckled the screaming child into her car seat again, then grabbed a bottle from the diaper bag and opened it. Retrieving a bottle of children's Benadryl, she opened the bottle and poured a little into the baby's bottle. Then she shook it and gave it to the little girl before shutting the door and climbing back into the driver's seat.

As she pulled back out onto the highway, the medicine quickly took hold. And a few minutes later, when she looked into the review mirror, the baby was asleep.

She smiled and returned her focus to the road. She had a long way to go, and a short time to get her baby home, where she could make up for lost time. She looked in the review mirror again and smiled at the sleeping child.

"Pretty girl," she murmured, turning on the radio. "My pretty little girl."

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As Alex pulled up to the hospital, he opened his door and jumped out before she'd come to a full stop. He still had a bad feeling in his gut and he hurried into the emergency room, knowing she would be close behind him.

She followed quickly after him, matching his long strides with several of her own.

They found Logan pacing frantically. Bobby grabbed his arm, calling his attention from wherever it had gone. "How is she?"

"Not good. She has a bad head injury, three broken ribs, maybe some internal bleeding. Any leads on the baby?"

"Not yet."

Alex stepped between the two, laying her hand gently on Mike's arm. "You look like you're going to need a room yourself if you keep pacing like that. Let's go sit down."

"Sit down? Are you serious? If I don't move, I swear I'm going to explode." His eyes shifted toward Bobby. "For the first time I have some appreciation for what it's like to be you."

She bit her lip, but didn't respond. Instead, she looked at Bobby and motioned to the row of stiff hospital chairs on the other side of the room. "I'm going to go sit down."

He nodded. "I'll just chase him."

She gently squeezed his arm, then walked over to the chairs and sat down, resting her head against the wall behind her.

Bobby and Mike paced restlessly, waiting for someone to come out and brief them on Carolyn's condition. At the completion of each circuit, Bobby looked toward Alex, seeking comfort but unable to find any reassurance for his increasing anxiety.

Alex watched Mike and Bobby pace the floor, and every now and then, she tried to close her eyes and relax. But images of her friend's battered body assaulted her mind, and she opened her eyes again. The baby began to kick, and she rested her hand over her belly and sighed quietly.

"Are you okay?" Bobby didn't miss the fact that she'd turned her attention to the baby inside her. His fingers skimmed her cheek and his concern was reflected in his eyes.

She nodded and closed her hand around his. Then she looked in Mike's direction. "I can't... imagine what he must be thinking right now," she whispered.

"It's not good," he mused.

She rested her head on his shoulder and slid her hand into his. "I know. I would be going out of my mind."

"I already am. I can't imagine what I'd be feeling if our baby was missing."

She shivered and pressed herself into his side. A few minutes passed, and she tightened her grip on his hand. "He's starting to make me nauseous."

"Mike?"

"Yes."

"Want me to tackle him?"

She couldn't suppress the smile that curved her mouth. "No. But if you could pin him to a chair..."

"I have my cuffs..."

She smiled again and kissed his cheek. But her smile faded, and she settled back into his side again.

He hugged her for a long moment, then gave her a soft kiss and stood up. Crossing back to Logan, he intercepted him. "You're not doing anyone any good," he murmured to him.

"Isn't that the pot calling the kettle black?"

Alex stood up and joined the two men. "He's right, Mike," she said gently. "It's not going to help Carolyn when you collapse from exhaustion."

Mike pointed a finger at her. "You can talk to me when something happens to you and he doesn't freak, all right?"

She frowned deeply at him. "You remember what you told me when Bobby was in the hospital? I couldn't help him if I didn't take care of myself."

Bobby looked from one to the other of them. Then he walked away, turning into his thoughts.

Mike watched him walk away. "Now what?"

She shrugged. "What else? We wait." Then she pushed him gently toward the chairs. "Sit down for a few minutes, before you wear a hole in the floor."

"I feel like I should be doing...something."

"I know. Believe me, Mike. I know."

"Are they looking for her?"

"Of course. We've already issued an Amber Alert, and in an hour, every cop in New York is going to be looking for her."

"Any leads as to who took her, or why?"

"Bobby found a few strands of blond hair in the backseat. But we won't know who took her until we get the hair tested."

He frowned. "Blond...Did anyone see anything?"

She ran a hand through her hair. "We don't know. We stayed until CSU got there, then we came here."

He folded his arms over his head. "I'm going to lose my mind here. Isn't there anything we can do?"

"Not right now."

He sat heavily, burying his head in his arms and he groaned. He was on edge, just wanting to hit something, but he knew there was nothing he could do, and that made him feel so much worse.

She sat down beside him, understanding the helpless feeling that was coursing through him. It was an odd turn of events. She reached out and gently touched his back in an attempt to offer comfort.

Bobby came back toward them, shoving his phone into his pocket. He cocked his head and waved an impatient hand. "I, uh, I need to leave for a little while. Call me if anything changes."

She didn't like it, but she nodded. He needed some way to deal with this. "Go. Let us know if you find anything."

"I will."

He headed down the hall quickly. Mike frowned. "What's he gonna do?"

She shook her head. "I don't know."

"This is _not_ helping."

She exhaled deeply and leaned back in the chair. "I know. But he must have an idea about something." She rubbed her temple.

"Be nice if he'd share with the rest of the class."

"You know how he is."

"Yeah. I guess I'm just jealous that he's got something to do now."

She nodded at the chestnut haired man in a white lab coat that had joined them. "Looks like you'll have something to do in a minute."

Mike spun around. "How is she?" he demanded.

The doctor looked at Mike warily. "Are you related to Ms. Barek?"

When he softly growled and ran his hand through his hair, Alex grabbed his arm and addressed the doctor.

"He is Carolyn's only family, other than her eight month old daughter. He's also her medical proxy," Alex stated, gently squeezing Mike's arm.

The doctor nodded. "She has a serious head injury. The main force of the blow was delivered to the back of her head, where the vision center is located. It's possible that the force of the blow caused damage to her occipital nerve, but we can't gauge the extent of the damage until she wakes up. The rest of her injuries are minor by comparison and will heal without complication. We were able to rule out internal hemorrhaging, and her ribs will heal. It's the head injury that has us most concerned right now."

Alex closed her eyes briefly, then closed her hand over Mike's arm. "Will she... be all right?"

"We'll have to wait and see. That's the best answer I have right now."

"That's not good enough!" Mike shouted.

"Mike!" She grabbed his arm and pulled him to face her. "Calm down, now!"

"It's not good enough! I want a straight answer!"

She rested her palms against his chest. Then she turned her head to look at the doctor. "Can... we see her?"

The doctor nodded. "Come on in. We're getting her ready to transfer upstairs."

She turned her head back to Mike, and she rubbed his shoulder. "You need to calm down, okay?" she said softly. "If you're upset when she wakes up, she's going to be upset. And you know what will happen then."

"You'll smack me?"

"Yes. And they'll make you leave."

He groaned softly. "I'm not handling this very well, am I?"

"No better than I handled Bobby being in New Jersey." A shiver went through her spine at the memory, but she brushed it off and continued to walk.

He followed her, not certain how he was going to handle this. "You did a lot better," he grumbled. "You're...stronger than I am."

"No, I'm not." She reached over and squeezed his hand. "I just had great friends to lean on."

He became silent as they entered the treatment room and approached the bed. Her head was wrapped in bandages and an IV snaked into her arm. He groaned again, suddenly feeling sick to his stomach.

Alex followed him, resting a reassuring hand on his back as they watched Carolyn's still form.

"I...um, I...I'll be right back," he said suddenly and hurried out of the room.

She watched him go, then sank down into the chair by Carolyn's bed. Resting her hand on the other woman's arm, she began talking in a soft voice. "He'll be back, Carolyn. He just... doesn't know how to process this. Not that any of us do." She took a deep breath. "We're doing everything we can to find Kiska. But you know... you can't give up. He's already lost you once... A second time would kill him."

She leaned back in the chair, resting her hand on her stomach. Thoughts were flying through her mind, and it was taking all of her energy just to keep them straight.

Mike returned a few minutes later. "I can't do this," he muttered softly. "I just can't."

"Can't what, Mike?" Alex pried softly.

He shook his head. "I just...I can't handle this, Alex."

Alex stood up and looked at Mike. "I know it's hard," she whispered. "And if you don't think you can stay here right now, I'll stay with her."

He looked ashamed. "I...I told you...that you're stronger than I am."

"It's not that, Mike. Someone should be here." She offered him a small smile. "Go help Bobby."

"Where the hell do I find Bobby?"

She shrugged. "Call him and ask where he is, and hope you get there before he's gone."

"It's like chasing a rainbow," he complained as he pulled out his phone.

"Tell me about it," she muttered, lowering herself back into the chair.

Leaning over he gently kissed Carolyn, disturbed by the lack of response from her. He sighed softly. "Please...be all right."

Turning to Alex, he leaned over to kiss her cheek. "Thank you. Call me if anything changes...and I'll go chasing your boyfriend all over the island."

"I'll call you. And have fun doing my job for the day."

"Why do I get the feeling I'm going to have a new respect for you by the time the day's over?"

She let out a small laugh. "Just keep an eye on him for me, Mike. He's... really upset." Her voice sobered. "He might do something stupid."

He nodded. "I'll take care of him, sweetheart. Talk to you later."

"Bye, Mike." She watched him walk out of the room, then settled back into the chair.

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It took Mike the better part of the afternoon to track Bobby down and catch up to him. "Don't you ever slow down?"

"You want your daughter back, don't you?"

"Of course."

"All right then. How's Carolyn?"

"Not so good. She took a hard blow to the back of the head."

"And they think her vision might be affected?"

"Yeah. How'd you...oh, never mind. What have you been up to all afternoon?"

"I was setting up a network to start looking for the baby. We have people setting a dragnet from Miami to Boston and New York to Chicago. We'll find her."

"How'd you get that set up so fast?"

"It helps to have friends in the right places. Let's go back to the hospital. They'll call me if they found out anything."

"You never cease to amaze me, you know that?"

"Is that good or bad?"

"I have no idea."

Reluctantly, with nothing else to do, they headed back toward the hospital and waited to see what turned up.

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The sun was falling behind the horizon, and she tucked her hair behind her ear, then turned the radio up again. A male voice filled the car, and she smiled smugly.

"An Amber Alert has been issued for eight month old Kiska Aleshanee Barek. Kiska was last seen early this morning in Manhattan with her mother, who was attacked by an unknown suspect around noon today..."

She smirked and turned the radio to another station. Stupid detectives...

The baby began to snuffle, and she pulled over briefly to change her diaper and give her another bottle. She kissed her forehead, then put her back into the car seat. "You are going to love your new home," she cooed to the baby once she was in the driver's seat again.

The baby just looked at her with sleepy eyes, and she could see the man she loved in her. "I lost him, but now I have you," she said softly. "And I'm never going to give you up. Never."

TBC...

A/N: Alright, there ya'll have it! Hopefully the end of this chapter went over better than the first... Thanks for reading, and please remember to review!


	3. Road Trip

Alright, everyone, here's the next chapter of Betrayal. Most of you who reviewed the last chapter seem to think that Nicole Wallace, or the Australlian Devil, as deliriousdancer calls her, is behind little Kiska's kidnapping. Well, we're going to remain mum about it, but the kidnapper will be revealed in this chapter. So enjoy this chapter, and please remember to review!

Disclaimer: Not ours!

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Alex shifted uncomfortably in the chair, looking down at her swollen abdomen. "All right, did you somehow sneak coffee in there?" she asked the bump in her belly.

Bobby came up behind her, taking a break in his restless pacing to rest his hands on her shoulders. "Are you okay?"

She smiled up at him. "I'm fine. This baby is going to be a soccer player before she's in kindergarten."

"Soccer's good."

She raised her hand and squeezed his. "Yeah, it's good."

He kissed her head and gently caressed her cheek before resuming his pacing. It was the third day after the attack on Carolyn, and so far nothing had turned up. Bobby was not stupid. He knew that if they had not found Kiska in the first twenty-four hours, the chances of finding her diminished as time passed. But he kept silent about that and let the worry eat at his gut as he paced, barely taking time to sleep or eat. Mike was doing no better, but at least he was able to coax Alex into eating and sleeping, using their baby as leverage.

Alex leaned back in the chair, looking across Carolyn's bed at Mike. His eyes were downcast, and the grin that normally curved his lips was long gone. She crossed her ankles and rested her hands on her stomach. She knew that they were both thinking of Carolyn and Kiska, and it was all she could do to hold herself and them together. She ate and slept, at Bobby's insistence, but she stayed at the hospital as often as she could. She and Carolyn had grown close over the past few months, and it hurt her to see the other woman lying so still. And she couldn't even begin to fathom what Mike was going through, not knowing where his child was. She unconsciously rubbed her abdomen and prayed that she would never have to understand.

Suddenly she craved the contact of her partner, and she stood up and slid into his arms, resting her head against his chest.

Bobby didn't know what he would do without her, a feeling he was very used to. Her steady presence enabled him to keep it together. He wrapped his arms around her and held her close. He missed her when she went home to sleep, but he stayed at the hospital to help Mike keep it together. What he didn't realize was how close to the edge he was skirting. He was in frequent contact with his pals along the eastern seaboard, and they had upped their surveillance, but so far, there was no sign of the little girl he'd come to love.

She kissed Bobby's cheek and rested her forehead against his chest for a minute, then carefully moved from his arms. Looking at Mike's pale face, she said softly, "Mike, why don't you go get something to eat?"

When he shook his head wordlessly, she sighed and sank back down into the chair, resting her hand gently on Carolyn's arm.

She could hear the voices speaking in soft tones around her, and she wondered why. Taking a breath, she fought against the wave of pain that tried to overwhelm her. She turned her head and tried to take another breath, and that's when the memories hit her. The lunch, putting her daughter in her car seat... being hit from behind... her daughter's screams. _No, God no..._

Mike and Bobby both noticed at the same time that Carolyn was waking up but, as usual, Alex was way ahead of them.

Alex closed her hand gently over Carolyn's arm and spoke to her in a hushed tone. "Carolyn, can you hear me?" she murmured, watching her friend intently.

Carolyn heard Alex's voice, and she shifted her hips and turned her head in the direction of Alex's voice. "Alex?"

Relief washed over her, and she smiled and gently rubbed her friend's arm. "Right here, Carolyn. Just take it easy, okay?"

Carolyn reached out and found Alex's hand, squeezing it.

The two men approached the other side of the bed and Mike grasped her other hand.

Carolyn felt a large hand grasp her other hand, and she sighed softly. "Mike?"

"Yeah, baby. I'm here."

She opened her eyes, but all that greeted her was darkness. She swallowed and tried to take a breath that wasn't painful. "W-what... time is it?"

Alex gave Bobby a puzzled look. "It's eleven in the morning."

Bobby stepped up to the head of the bed and gently brushed her hair back from her forehead. "What's wrong?" he asked gently.

Carolyn pulled her hand away from Alex and ran it over her eyes. "It's... if it's morning, why is it so dark?" she whispered, tightening her grip on Mike's hand.

The bottom fell out of Mike's gut. "Dark?"

Panic gripped her, and she opened her eyes and shut them, then reopened them, only to find the same results. "I c-can't see..."

Mike tightened his grip on her hand as Bobby laid his hand to rest on her head. As always, Alex was the calming voice of reason as the men floundered, not quite knowing what to say.

She gently pulled Carolyn's hand away from her face and held it gently. "Carolyn, try to calm down," she murmured, squeezing her hand. "The doctor said that this was a possible result of the... of the injuries. It's probably temporary." She reached out and carefully drew her into a hug, rubbing her back soothingly. Then she pulled away and rose to her feet. "I'm going to go find a doctor."

Carolyn nodded, receiving a jolting pain in the base of her neck for the effort. When the pain receded, she was overwhelmed with another emotion. "Mike, where's the baby?"

Mike looked at Bobby, shrugging. He didn't know what to say and was looking to his friend for help. Quietly, Bobby said, "We're looking for her, Carolyn. I have people all across the eastern seaboard as far west as Chicago looking for her."

"Bobby?" She raised her hand to her head, frowning when she felt the bandage that was wrapped around the top of her head.

He touched her hand with his fingers. "We'll find her," he promised.

She tightened her fingers around Mike's hand and sighed.

Alex reappeared in the room, with a doctor trailing behind her. She walked to the other side of the room and rested against a wall.

Bobby gently kissed Carolyn's forehead and withdrew, walking over to Alex. Leaning to the side, he met her eyes. "Baby?" he whispered, the query in his eyes not making it to his lips.

She rested her head against his shoulder.

He wrapped his arms around her and watched the doctor examine Carolyn.

Carolyn sensed someone else by the bed, and her hand involuntarily tightened around Mike's as her breathing became more painful.

"Carolyn, I'm Dr. Williams. I'm going to examine you. Just relax. I'll try not to hurt you."

Bobby leaned over suddenly and gave Alex a soft kiss, then he strolled purposefully from the room.

Carolyn took as deep a breath as she could manage, then said quietly, "I can't see."

"Let me take a look. Just relax."

She complied without protest, relaxing her muscles as much as she was able. Mike's hand was still closed around hers, and she threaded her fingers through his.

Mike looked across the room for support, frowning to see Alex there alone. He looked around the room, then back at her, eyes questioning.

She nodded toward the door, then crossed her arms over her chest.

Mike shook his head, then turned his attention back toward Carolyn. He was exhausted and unsettled, and he had no idea how to calm his anxiety

Carolyn inhaled sharply at the doctor's prodding hands, and Mike's tension was not helping. Already she was angry and impatient, and she muttered, "Is this permanent?"

"We have to wait and see. We hope not," the doctor replied.

She tentatively sat up, pulling her hand away from Mike's and using it to push herself up completely. The pain in her ribs was a little more bearable, and she carefully moved her head to test the pain there.

"Carolyn, how do you feel?" Mike asked tentatively.

She swallowed, then carefully dangled her legs over the side of the bed. "Other than the fact that I can't see and one or two of my ribs are broken..." She drew another deep breath. "How long have I been here?"

"A couple of days."

She took another breath, relieved that the pain seemed to be abating a little.

Alex uncrossed her arms and walked over to the bed, stopping when she was standing in front of Carolyn. She knew that look. "Carolyn, you should take it easy."

Carolyn waved a hand at her impatiently. "I'm fine, Alex."

Alex scoffed. "You are not fine, Carolyn. You were hit over the head several times with a bat, and now you can't see." She reached out and rested her hand on Carolyn's shoulder. Then she leaned closer and murmured, "I know what you're thinking. Don't."

Carolyn lifted her head and gently pushed Alex's hand away. "No, you don't know what I'm thinking."

"I know you better than that, Carolyn. You think that you're just going to walk out of here after being unconscious for three days. Well, you're not."

Carolyn balled her hand into a fist. Then she said, "Dr. Williams, when can I get out of here?"

"Let's give it a few days, Carolyn. We need to see what happens with your vision. You had a serious head injury and we still have to keep an eye on you."

She scowled and rubbed her arm. "This... isn't right. I need to be out there, helping them find our daughter."

"You can help by staying put until they figure out what's going on with you," Mike replied. "We're going to find her, but I want your word you'll stay here while we do what we have to do."

She covered her eyes with her hand and resisted the impulse to yell at all of them. She knew they meant well, but this was her daughter. She hadn't protected her then, and she wasn't helping her by being in a damn hospital bed.

Mike's voice came, very close to her ear. "Please."

She shuddered, then slowly slid back into the bed, resting her head carefully against the pillows.

"Thank you," he murmured. "Now we can go friggin' find Goren."

Alex looked at him, then said, "I'll go find Bobby."

He frowned at her. "Are you gonna be okay if I go with her, Carolyn?"

She wanted to say no, but she nodded. "I'll be fine."

"I'll be back," he promised.

She nodded. "Watch him, Alex," she muttered, and Alex couldn't help but smile.

"I will, Carolyn," she assured her.

Mike leaned over to kiss her cheek, then he followed Alex out of the room.

Alex walked out into the hallway, her strides long and fast.

"Do you know where he went?' Mike asked as he walked alongside her.

She looked at him. "Probably at the lab, breathing down a tech's neck waiting for the DNA results."

"He knows better. You can't force the tests to take longer than they take. Of course, he's good at making a pest of himself when he wants to."

She smiled. "Yes, he is. And he thinks that if he is there, the results _will_ come faster."

"So we're starting at the lab?"

She pulled out her cell phone and hit speed dial 2, then held the phone to her ear. After a minute, she closed the phone and slid it into her pocket. "He's at the lab."

"And you know this how?"

She looked at him. "Because he just told me. You've got to clean your ears out, Mike. I wouldn't be surprised if there were potatoes growing in there."

"Hold on there...you didn't say a word..."

"It's the magic of voicemail, Mike."

"He left you a voicemail? Your phone never rang."

"I had it on vibrate, Logan." She rolled her eyes. "Just keep walking."

He lowered his eyes to the sidewalk, focusing his thoughts on how to find his missing daughter.

When they reached the lab, Alex immediately spotted her partner, hovering behind a lab tech, just as she suspected. "Bobby..."

He held up a hand, begging a moment as he leaned over the tech's shoulder.

She looked at Mike. "Told you."

A few moments passed and he stood up, turning away from the tech and clamping a hand behind his head. "We...we have a hit," he muttered.

Relief coursed through her, but it was tamped down by her partner's features. "Bobby?"

He paced the small area as the tech got up and walked to a printer as it spit out a paper. He took it and held it out to Bobby. "That's the best I can do," he said.

Bobby squeezed his shoulder. "Thanks." He read the paper and muttered, "Cummings."

He scratched the side of his neck and slid his hand along the back of his head. "The hit we got was Cummings...the person who took Kiska...a woman...is related to Cummings."

Alex took a shaky breath. "Cummings... as in the bastard who raped Carolyn."

"Y-yes."

Mike looked at the partners and blinked. "What?"

Bobby looked at him. "The woman who took your daughter is a blood relation to the man who raped her mother."

He stumbled backwards into the wall and stared at his friend, who looked concerned. "S-so what do we do?"

"We go to the squad room," Bobby said. "And we find out who is related to Cummings...and we go from there."

Alex reached over and touched Mike's shoulder. "Come on. We're going to find your daughter."

"I...I don't get this..."

Bobby laid a hand on Mike's shoulder. "Come on, man. Pull it together and let's go find the information we need."

Alex nodded her agreement, then walked out of the lab.

Bobby motioned for Mike to follow her, and he remained two paces behind him, watching him with concern.

She climbed into the driver's seat of the SUV, then waited patiently for Mike and Bobby to climb in.

The ride to 1PP was silent, each detective lost in their own thoughts.

When they reached 1PP, Alex parked the SUV, then climbed out. Shutting the door, she waited patiently for Bobby to step out, then she drew him in for a brief hug.

He rested his cheek against her head, relishing the contact before he released her. Gently drawing two fingers along the side of her face, he gave her a tight smile before stepping away and following Logan toward the elevators, knowing she was right with them.

She followed the two men into the squadroom, then stepped away and sat down at her desk.

Bobby immediately buried himself in his computer, trusting his partner to keep an eye on Mike. He began searching database after database, no longer aware of anything going on around him.

Time passed, and when Alex realized that it was after two in the afternoon, she caught Mike's attention. "Mike, call Carolyn. Talk to her."

He nodded and picked up the phone. He was still in a fog, but he had enough presence of mind not to mention to her what they were working on, or what they had found out.

Alex turned away from him and focused her attention on the computer screen in front of her.

Bobby leaned back away from the computer and stretched his sore back muscles. Without preamble, he said, "The DNA indicates a first degree relation--that means a parent or a sibling. Both parents are dead, and I found three siblings. The DNA belongs to a woman, so we should focus on his two sisters. Melanie Broadwater lives in Georgia. She's a radiologist in Atlanta."

"The other sister, Michelle Benevidez, lives in North..." He trailed off, a thoughtful look on his face. He looked at Mike and rubbed a hand over his mouth. "North Carolina," he concluded.

Mike got to his feet, a look of pure horror on his face. "That's Carolyn's friend, Michelle! The one she stayed with when she was gone!"

Bobby ran a hand over his hair. "Where, Mike? Where was she in North Carolina?"

Mike shook his head, trying to remember. "Uh...God, it was somebody's name...Smith, Jones, uh..." He snapped his fingers. "Murphy...that's it! Murphy..."

Bobby turned to the computer and hit a few keys. "Okay... let's go... JFK has a flight to Charlotte leaving in two hours. We need to be on it."

Alex turned to them. "Wait a minute. You two aren't going alone."

Halfway to the elevators, he stopped and turned toward her. "Oh, no...you...I need you to stay here. Get as much information as you can get from Carolyn without letting her know what's going on just yet. She has enough to deal with right now. But you can gauge better than we can when she'll be ready to take the information. We'll stay in touch, but I need you here." He touched her stomach with the flat of his hand and lowered his voice. "Both of you."

She frowned deeply, then pulled him close and tightened her arms around him. "Be careful," she whispered, resting her forehead against his chest.

"Thank you," he whispered against her hair as he released her and she stepped back. His voice dropped a little lower. "I love you."

"Love you, too," she whispered. She scanned their surroundings, then gently cupped his cheek and pulled him down for a tender kiss.

He trembled and reluctantly stepped away from her. "We'll be back soon," he promised. She pressed the keys to the SUV into his hand and he turned toward the elevators. "Let's go, Mike."

Bypassing the elevators, they hit the stairwell and were gone.

"Be careful," she whispered, leaning against a wall. "Please."

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Alex wasn't sure if Carolyn was sleeping when she walked into her hospital room, so she kept her movements quiet. She slid into the chair by her bed and crossed her ankles.

Carolyn stirred when she sensed someone walk into the room, and she took a deep breath and whispered, "Mike?"

Alex looked at her sadly and gently closed her hand over the other woman's arm. "No, Carolyn, it's me."

Carolyn sighed and nodded. "Where's Mike?"

"He and Bobby are... following up on a lead." She leaned closer in the chair and thought carefully for a moment. "Carolyn, when you were gone... where did you go?"

Carolyn turned her head a little. "Why?"

"The guys never found you, and I was just curious. I need somewhere to hide when Bobby finally makes me snap from all of his protectiveness."

Carolyn smiled a little. "There was this town, in North Carolina, where I used to visit my cousins. It was so pretty. There were mountains everywhere, and when the snow fell..."

"Sounds heavenly." She leaned back in the chair, resting her hand on her belly. "Did you make any friends there?"

Carolyn's smile became wider, and Alex's heart sank. "I did. A woman named Michelle. She and her kids made me feel like part of their family." She took a breath. "And they all doted on Kiska, from the day she was born. Michelle was even there when... when I went into labor."

"Did she live close to you?"

Carolyn nodded slowly. "We both lived on the same road. Dickey Road. The houses were a little spread out, but we met when I went down to this little deli at the end of the road. She worked there, and we just started talking."

Alex inhaled deeply and rubbed her arm. "Carolyn, tell me about your house."

Carolyn smiled fondly. "It was a pretty three bedroom, with a wraparound porch, across from a field. It had the most beautiful view of the mountains from the back porch. There was even a little apartment that was connected to the garage." She raised her hand and rubbed her temple. "Michelle asked me to move in after Kiska was born, so she and her boys could help. And I needed it."

Alex nodded. "It sounds beautiful, Carolyn." She noticed the other woman attempt to stifle a yawn, and she gently squeezed her arm. "Go to sleep, okay?"

She tried to fight it, but exhaustion was creeping over her. "Okay," she yawned, squeezing Alex's hand. A few minutes later, she was sleeping soundly.

Alex jumped slightly when her phone vibrated against her hip, and she silently rose to her feet and walked out of the room. In the hall, she opened the phone, smiling when she realized who was calling. "How was your flight?"

_A little rocky but otherwise fine. How's Carolyn?_

"The truth? She's scared and she wants Mike. But right now, she's sleeping."

_How are you?_

"I'm not the one with the missing child. I'm fine, Bobby."

_You know what I mean,_ he said softly.

She sighed and leaned against a wall. "I know. We're fine." She rested her free hand on the back of her neck. "Carolyn told me where she was living."

_Hold on a sec..._ He got a pad and pen out of his pocket. _Okay...go ahead._

"She said that she lived on a little road called Dickey Road. It's about three miles long, and it was a three bedroom house with a wraparound porch. She stayed in an apartment that was connected to the garage."

_He wrote the information down. All right. I'll call you later._

"Okay. I love you." She lowered her voice a little. "And have Mike call Carolyn as soon as he can."

_I'll make sure he does. I love you, too, babe._

She smiled. "Bye, Bobby." Then she closed the phone and slid it into her pocket.

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He closed the phone and slid it into his pocket, walking across to the car rental counter where Mike was renting a car.

Mike looked at him, his green eyes dark with controlled rage. "Anything?"

"We have a location and a description of the house where Carolyn stayed when she lived down here."

"I'm almost done here."

Twenty minutes later, armed with the description Alex had given him and a road map they'd gotten from the car rental agent, they were headed west toward Murphy.

TBC...

A/N: Alright, there ya'll have it. She's the kidnapper. And the boys are on a road trip! Now, as ya'll read, they're going to Murphy, North Carolina. I picked the area cause, funnily enough, that's where I live! I know the area, and it should make for a more enjoyable read. Next chapter, Bobby goes undercover. Fun! We hope ya'll enjoyed this chapter, and please remember to review!


	4. Storms Of The Heart

My, ya'll are really excited about this! Well, we decided that ya'll have waited long enough, so here's the next chapter. It took a while to decide where to end it, but once I realized that one ending would likely result in my being stabbed to death with a rusty spork, it was an easy choice. (looks around room nervously.) So enjoy, and please review!

Disclaimer: See previous chapters.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Michelle smiled as her eldest son held his little sister. She had been home for a couple of days, and already her five sons had more than welcomed the little girl back into their lives.

The baby began to fuss, and she took her back and cuddled her against her chest. "I'm going to go lay your sister down," she announced, and five dark heads of hair nodded.

She walked into the smallest room, smiling at how well it was hidden away from sight. Humming softly, she laid the little girl in the pink crib, then sat down in the rocking chair and watched her looking up at the mobile.

She began rocking in the chair as she watched the little girl. "I am going to take such good care of you, Nicole. I'm going to dress you up and brush your hair..."

Outside, the wind began to howl, and she stood up and walked out of the room, taking care to cover the door again.

She walked back into the living room and looked at her sons, smiling at them before she retreated into her own bedroom to get ready for work.

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They sat in the car, watching the house from the road through the storm. "She's met you. If you go to the door, she'll freak. But she doesn't know me."

Mike glared at the house through the driving rain. "You think Kiska is in there?"

"Yes."

"Do you think she'd hurt her?"

"If we freak her out...yes...but if...if I play her...let her think I'm someone else...maybe..."

"I'm not sitting here in the rain for two weeks while you romance my daughter's kidnapper, Goren."

"It won't take two weeks." He started the car when he saw her emerge from the house, pulling away from the side of the road and watching the rearview mirror as she pulled out of the driveway.

"We don't want her to panic, Mike. We want her to stay calm, to...trust me...If we storm her house...she might very well harm the baby." He made a quick u-turn. "She went the other way."

They followed her down the road.

Bobby studied the building intently for a few minutes. "She can't see you, Mike. She'll know. We-we ought to get a room...and I'll come back here and talk to her."

"I'm gonna lose my friggin' mind, you know."

"Trust me. You can call me. I'm as determined to get your Kitkat back as you are, man. I swear."

They drove down the road to the Holiday Inn they'd passed on the way to Michelle's house and got a room. "Just try to chill, Mike. Call Carolyn. She needs your reassurance. I won't be long."

"Be careful, all right? Your girl will throttle me if anything happens to you."

"I'll be fine. I'll be back soon. Call Carolyn."

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Bobby parked the car and stepped out. He'd removed his tie and unbuttoned the first two buttons of his shirt. He headed into the building.

Michelle smiled at Amy as she carried the car seat through the door. "You're relieved," she said with a smile, and Amy nodded and stepped from behind the counter.

Michelle stepped behind the counter and carefully placed the baby's car seat on the ground, then sat on the stool. A half hour later, the bell rang, and she watched as a tall, dark eyed man walked in. She stood up and smiled at him. "How can I help ya?" she asked.

He returned her smile. "What are your specials?"

She slid him a sheet of paper, then said, "I can have a fourteen inch with your choice of toppings for ten bucks right here in twenty minutes." She nodded toward the chair in the corner. "You can have a seat there if ya like"  
"That sounds good to me," he replied, letting his eyes glide over her. "But I think I'll stand, if it's all the same to you."

She shrugged. "All right, suit yourself." She looked him up and down. "What would ya like on your pizza?"

He smiled again. "I'm easy to please," he said with a wink. "Surprise me."

She turned around and grabbed the dough from the freezer. Then she prepared the pizza with practiced ease before sliding it into the oven. As she closed the oven door, the baby began to fuss, and she crouched down in front of the car seat.

The sight of Kiska in her car seat behind the counter hit him like a physical blow but he quickly got it under control. He was careful to stay out of the baby's line of vision. If she saw him, he'd never get away with this and Michelle would be spooked. The quickest way to the heart of a mother, which is what he presumed she thought she was, was through her child.

"Your daughter?" he said, keeping his voice quiet and seductive.

She looked up and smiled. "Yep. Her name's Nicole."

The name sent another jolt into his body, which he was careful to hide from her. "She's beautiful."

"Thank you." She played with the baby's little feet. "She looks like her daddy."

"S-so you're married?' he asked, disappointed.

A shadow crossed her face. "Widowed."

"I'm sorry," he said, his voice soft and sincere.

"Thank you." She cleared her throat and wiped at her eyes. A small smile appeared on her face. "But I have my boys. Nicole here and my boys keep me busy."

"How many boys do you have?"

"Five."

"Six kids? Wow. I...I would love to have a large family."

She smiled. "I'm never bored with them. My husband grew up in a small family, and so did I. We both knew we wanted a big family."

"So you're from around here?"

"I've been living here for almost two years. I live just down the road."

His eyes were warm. "I like your accent. Where are you from...originally?"

"Thank you. And Texas." She stood up and leaned on the counter. "And where are you from? You sure don't sound like you're from around here."

"I'm not. I'm from Chicago."

"Oh." She leaned a little closer. "And what brings you all the way down here?"

"I'd like to say you do," he smiled. "But I'm here on business."

Her lips curved up in a smile. "Business man? Interesting."

He laughed softly. "Not really. But it pays the bills."

She liked his laugh, and it brought her to emit a laugh of her own.

He leaned forward on the counter. "I can...extend my stay...I'm in no hurry to get back to Chicago."

"Really?" she asked, lowering her voice.

"Really."

She crossed her arms on the counter and rested her chin there. "You look like you're the kind of man who'd appreciate a good home cooked meal... But the question is, could you handle four teenage boys and an eight year old?"

He touched her arm tentatively with the tip of his index finger. "I love kids."

She tensed, then relaxed before pulling away. She walked over to the oven and grabbed a pair of oven mitts, then pulled the pizza out of the oven. Giving him a smile, she slid the pizza into a box, then cut it into ten slices. "There ya go," she said, closing the box.

"Thank you. I...I hope you don't think I'm being forward...but...I would like to see you again."

She smiled softly. "I pride myself on being a good judge of character, and you seem like a decent man." She reached out and touched his hand. "I would like to see you again, too."

Turning his hand over, he caressed her hand with his thumb. "What time do you get off?" he asked softly.

"Five o'clock," she answered.

"Can I come by then? Maybe take you to a movie?"

She let out a laugh. "Sorry, sweetheart, but there's not a movie theater around here."

"You choose then."

She thought for a moment. "Why don't you come back here at quitting time. I'll send my boys to a friend's house, and I can make you a home cooked meal."

He met her eyes and smiled. "That sounds great. It's been forever since I've had a good home cooked meal."

A slight blush crept over her features, and she unconsciously ran a hand through her hair. "Good. I think I can find something... enticing."

"Perfect," he answered, his voice husky. Drawing her hand closer, he softly kissed it. "I'm Bobby."

She smiled. "Michelle."

He winked and returned her smile, then laid a ten dollar bill down on the counter. "See you in a few hours, beautiful."

"Bye, Bobby." she murmured.

Another soft kiss to the back of her hand, and he picked up the pizza box and left.

She watched him leave, then crouched down in front of the car seat. "Looks like Mommy has a date," she whispered, touching the baby's cheek.

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He got into the car and backed out of the spot, pulling out of the parking lot onto the road that headed back toward the Holiday Inn. He let out his breath, relieved that Kiska seemed to be fine. Arriving at the motel, he got out of the car and headed into the building. Mike looked up as he came in. "How'd it go?"

"Great. I have a date tonight. Kiska was with her, Mike. She's fine."

"Thank God."

"She's calling herself the baby's mother."

"What's up with that?"

"I have no idea. I'll see what I can find out tonight. Now I need to make a call. I have a buddy in Charlotte who specializes in...reissuing identification. I'm a businessman from Chicago and I need proof of it."

"Do I even want to know?"

"Probably not. But if she goes through my pockets, it won't do at all for her to find my New York driver's license and my badge."

Mike sighed. "I hope you know what you're doing, buddy."

"So do I."

He pulled out his phone and called his buddy in Charlotte.

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The hours went by fairly quickly, with only a few customers coming in. She looked at the clock, surprised when the door opened and Bobby stepped inside right at five.

She smiled as he walked over to the counter, and she said, "Just waiting for someone to relieve me."

"Take your time," he said quietly. "I can wait." He made a point of watching her as she bustled about to finish her end-of-shift tasks.

Ten minutes later, Jake Dalton walked in, and she tossed her apron at him. "Get over here, Jake," she said, picking up the car seat. "I need to vamoose."

Jake looked at the man standing by the counter, and he grinned. "Get out of here, Michelle," he said, playfully popping the apron at her. She rolled her eyes and waved at him with her free hand.

Bobby held the door open for her, praying that Kiska wouldn't give him away. He walked her to her car, waiting while she unlocked it and slid the car seat into the back seat. He smiled at the little girl, unable to smoothly avoid her. "What a beauty, just like her mother," he said sincerely.

"Flattery will get you everywhere," she laughed, opening the driver's door. "Do you want to follow me in your car?"

"Sure."

He glanced through the back window as he passed, concerned that there had been no reaction from Kiska. He was glad she didn't give him away, but she should have had some reaction to seeing him. She always reacted with a happy squeal and reaching arms when she saw him. Now he was concerned. He got into the car and followed Michelle down the road.

Michelle easily maneuvered the twists and bends in the road, until she reached the stony drive of her home. With a smile, she parked the car and climbed out, then opened the door to the backseat.

Bobby pulled in behind her and slid out of the car. He offered to take the car seat.

She looked down at the sleepy child, then handed him the car seat and fished her keys out of her pocket. "Thanks," she said as she climbed up the steps. Overhead, thunder rolled ominously, and she couldn't help but smile. She always loved storms.

He followed her up onto the porch and into the house. In spite of the fact that five boys lived there, the house was neat and tidy. He held the seat so she could take the baby from it and he watched her carry the drowsy baby down the hall, pushing aside a curtain and disappearing past it. He paced the foyer, trying not to appear agitated, as he waited for her to return.

She laid the baby in the crib, then returned to the living room. "Just make yourself at home," she said, motioning to the several couches and chairs.

He walked around the living room, looking at the pictures that adorned the walls and the fireplace mantle. Her boys were handsome, and he smiled at their happy faces. But he noticed that there were no pictures of Kiska around since Carolyn had brought her back to New York. He also saw pictures of Cummings, but none of the husband she lost. He found that curious. But sometimes, loss was so profound, reminders were hidden away until the pain abated. He did understand that. Maybe her loss was recent.

Michelle watched him from the kitchen as she opened the package of chicken and turned the deep fryer on. As the grease warmed, she grabbed a bag of potatoes and dumped a few into the sink, then began scrubbing them.

While she scrubbed the potatoes, she looked out the window and smiled as the rain began to fall in torrents. "It's coming down good," she said, loud enough for him to hear. Then she placed the potatoes on a cutting board and grabbed a knife.

"I see that," he replied. He walked to the kitchen and leaned against the doorway. "I love stormy weather," he commented.

She looked up from her task and smiled at him. "Me too," she said as she sliced the potatoes.

He returned her smile. "Is there anything I can do to help?"

She nodded. "If you want, you could dip the chicken into the flour and set it on a paper plate while I cut these potatoes."

He stepped up to the sink beside her and washed his hands before he began working with the chicken. His mind was working furiously, trying to figure out this woman. "If you, uh, if you don't mind me asking, how long have you been widowed?"

"Almost six months," she said quietly.

"That has to have been rough for you. I'm sorry."

"It was. And thanks. But like I said, I had to keep going, for the kids."

She lost her husband at the same time her brother was killed. That had to have been devastating for her. "I'm sure they miss him, too."

"Yeah, they do."

"How old is the baby?"

Her smile returned. "Eight months old."

"Is she crawling yet?" he asked, smiling at her in return.

"Oh, yeah. The boys think it's the cutest thing in the world."

"I'm sure they do. I'll bet they were thrilled to have a little sister."

She chuckled. "Especially my youngest. He was getting tired of being the baby."

"I know how that goes," he laughed.

"I was worried that they might be jealous, but they all absolutely adore her."

"You must have raised them right, then."

"We did. I just... can't believe he's gone. And Nicole is never going to know him."

Done with the chicken, he washed his hands again and then stepped up behind her. "That has to be hard," he murmured into her ear.

She stiffened her shoulders. "It is. But he wouldn't want me moping like that." She wiped at her eyes, then dumped the potato wedges onto a paper plate.

"Is there anything else I can do?' he asked, his voice soft.

She shook her head. "Thanks, but I don't think there is," she said as she carefully placed the pieces of chicken into the fryer.

Keeping his voice soft, he said, "I'm sure you'll keep his pictures around so the baby knows who her father was. I know I would want that if I had children."

She nodded. "There are pictures of him all over. The boys wouldn't let me take them down."

He frowned for a moment, but chased it away before she noticed. The only pictures of a man adorning the living room were the pictures of her brother. The sudden realization struck him. Her brother...oh, God..."Uh, your oldest...is he named for his dad? I...I always thought it would be a wonderful legacy for a son to be named after me."

"No, actually. His name is Carl, but we call him C.J. The youngest was named for my husband."

He leaned against the counter. "How do you manage five boys?" he asked with a smile.

She outright laughed. "You know, sometimes I don't even know."

"My mother had her hands full with two of us."

"I'm sure. Some days, it feels more like twenty. Like the other day, my youngest boy, Brad, he went outside and rolled around in mud! Then he came into the house and tracked mud everywhere!"

Brad...oh, shit...he swallowed his emotion and managed a light laugh. "I remember doing that," he replied. He also remembered the beating he got for it, but he left out that detail.

"Between you and me, I did it too," she said with a wink.

He smiled. "Mud and kids just go together."

She chuckled. "They must." She carefully lifted the lid of the fryer and retrieved the chicken, placing it on a plate. Then she carefully placed the potato wedges in the fryer.

He looked down the hall. "Was that the baby?"

She set the lid on the fryer, then brushed her palms against her jeans. "I'll go check on her," she said, opening the refrigerator door and retrieving a bottle.

He watched her disappear down the hall and used the time to regroup. She had five sons...and her brother was their father. He wondered if she knew what kind of monster the man was.

She walked back into the kitchen a few minutes later, the bottle half full. "She's sleeping," she murmured, putting the bottle back into the refrigerator.

"She's a good baby."

"Yes, she is."

Thunder boomed overhead, and Michelle quickly pulled the potato wedges out of the fryer, then turned it off. "I wouldn't be surprised if we lost power," she said thoughtfully as she prepared the two plates.

"If I could plan it, we would," he said with a mysterious smile.

She couldn't help but return his smile as she picked up the plates and put them on the table. "I don't have beer, but help yourself to whatever you want to drink," she said as she picked up two forks and sat down at the table.

"You have such good taste, why don't you choose a drink for me?"

She stood up and walked over to the refrigerator, giving him a light push toward the table. Then she opened the door and retrieved two bottles of strawberry soda. "There ya go," she said, handing him one and opening the other for herself.

She sat down in the chair, then focused her light blue eyes on him. "So, you didn't say exactly what it is you do," she said curiously.

"I'm an accountant," he answered. "Like I said...boring."

She smiled. "You're right, it does sound boring," she teased.

He laughed softly at her teasing. "My parents wanted me to have a practical career."

"Ah. My parents weren't very... involved."

"Mine were...too involved sometimes."

She nodded. "When my parents died, I was seventeen. Not quite legal, so I went to live with my brother."

"At least you had someone to go to."

"You didn't?"

His mouth quirked into a half-smile. "No, I didn't."

She frowned and reached out, gently touching his arm. "I'm sorry."

He looked at her hand, moving his to come to rest over it. "Don't be," he soothed. "I turned out all right."

She smiled. "Yes, you did."

Holding her eyes, he returned her smile. "When are the boys due home?"

"They're spending the night at different friend's homes. They like to get out, and I like having some peace and quiet."

"Peace and quiet sounds good," he grinned.

"Yes, it does."

The thunder was getting closer. "Do you mind if I step outside for a smoke? I should make sure I rolled up my car window, too."

She smiled and gently touched his arm. "Go right ahead. I should go freshen up myself," she whispered seductively.

"Sounds like a plan," he answered, touching her cheek.

She smiled and stood up, then disappeared into her bedroom.

He stepped out onto the porch and lit a cigarette. Stepping off the porch, he walked to the car, pulling the door open and going through the motions of rolling up the window.

"It's about damn time."

"The baby's in a back bedroom, about halfway back to the rear of the house. When the lights go out, I'll distract Michelle and you go and get Kiska. Just be quiet, okay?"

"You got it. How's it going?"

"Like a charm. Alex is going to kill me."

"For getting my daughter back? Somehow I doubt it. Just keep your pants on."

"Go to hell, Logan. Oh, I, uh, I think she's giving her something to make her sleep. She's not her normal alert self."

"Damn..."

"Keep your head on."

He closed the door and headed back to the porch, where he finished his cigarette before going back into the house.

She heard him walk in, and she quickly ran a brush through her hair before walking back into the living room. At his dripping form, her eyebrows furrowed, and she quickly reached into a closet and grabbed a towel. Then she walked over to him, gently pressing the towel against his cheek.

He smiled at her, accepting the towel. "Uh... it's raining now," he whispered.

She smiled and allowed her fingertips to trail over the front of his shirt. "I noticed."

He didn't take his eyes from hers, skimming his thumb along her jawline.

She leaned into his touch, then said softly, "You're going to catch a cold if you stay in those wet clothes."

He laughed softly. "I didn't bring along a change."

"That's fine. If you want, give me your shirt, and I'll put it in my dryer."

Without hesitating, he unbuttoned his shirt and slipped it off, handing it to her.

She accepted the shirt, raking her gaze over his strong chest before disappearing into the laundry room.

He let out a slow breath, trying to figure out how he was going to get the lights off and keep her distracted while making sure he kept his pants on at the same time.

Alex would forgive him some making out to distract the woman so Logan could get his daughter, but sex? That was a stretch.

As she returned to the living room, the lights flickered twice, then went out completely, and she yelped when she hit her knee against an end table.

Shit...he wasn't ready for this yet. "Are you all right?" he murmured, close to her ear.

She rubbed her knee and cursed. "Yeah, I'm fine."

He leaned over, seeking her face in the lightning flashes. "Are you sure?"

She nodded and made her way to a couch, falling down onto it. "I'm not very graceful, in case you haven't noticed," she chuckled, rubbing her knee.

He eased himself down beside her. "That doesn't bother me at all," he said softly.

She laughed softly. "Thanks. And it looks like you got your wish."

"So it does," he softly laughed, running his fingers through her hair. "You're beautiful," he added, and it wasn't a lie.

She could feel her cheeks heating up, and she said, "Thank you."

"It's only the truth."

She moved a little closer to him, enjoying the warmth of his touch.

His hand cupped her cheek, and she closed her eyes, her lips parting slightly.

He softly groaned her name and claimed her lips, kissing her hungrily, hoping to take her breath away and overrun her senses. Mike had better hurry the hell up. He wasn't going to do this all damn night.

She allowed him to deepen the kiss, her hand rising to cup the back of his neck.

And he lost himself in the role.

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Outside in the rain, cursing everything under the sun, Mike found the window halfway to the back of the house. Hoping the noise of the storm and whatever Bobby was doing in the living room would be enough to cover him, he slid the window open and heaved himself over the ledge, into the baby's room. He found the car seat easily enough when he whacked his shin on it. Moving more carefully, he found his way to the crib. Gently lifting his baby in his arms, he pulled his jacket around her and zipped it up. Tossing the car seat out the window, he followed it, cradling the baby against him as he dropped into the mud.

Moving quickly, he tossed the car seat into the car and pulled out the keys Bobby had given him. He looked at the house. "Thanks, pal."

Sliding behind the wheel, he hoped Bobby knew what he was doing and could get away unscathed. He was a pretty damn convincing actor--he'd be able to pull off the kidnapper took the baby and stole my car routine. Starting the car, he pulled out of the driveway and headed down the road, stopping only long enough to secure the baby in her car seat. Then he continued to the motel to wait for his friend to show up.

TBC...

A/N: So, I think I picked the right place to stop this chapter. Hopefully this will not get me stabbed...


	5. A Light At The End Of The Tunnel?

(Waves hands in surrender) Okay, okay, people! Put down your flaming sporks! Here's the next chapter of Betrayal. Read, and enjoy! Mwahahahaha...

Disclaimer: Not ours. All we have is some Halloween candy, a few costumes, and some hyper active kids!

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

She pulled him closer to her and moaned softly, moving her hands over his back.

He gasped softly into her mouth, pushing his tongue past her lips and sliding his hand under her shirt to cup a firm breast. He grazed his thumb over her nipple.

She inhaled sharply at his large hand cupping one of her breasts, and she closed her eyes. It had been too long since she had been touched like this.

He had no way of knowing if Mike had been successful. He heard nothing over the storm outside and the pounding rush in his own head.

He responded to her as she gasped and moaned into his mouth. What the hell had he gotten himself into? He really hadn't thought this all the way through. His only concern had been for rescuing Kiska. He'd given no real thought to his own rescue...

She suddenly pulled away, but remained in his arms as she studied his face. "Bedroom?"

"God, yes," he murmured, kissing her again.

She returned the kiss, then stood up. "Just let me check on the baby," she whispered, cupping his cheek gently.

"Hurry," he murmured, cringing inwardly at the pleading tone of his voice.

She nodded and kissed him again, then disappeared into the nursery.

She walked into the nursery and inched toward the crib, in case the baby was sleeping. But ice gripped her heart when she realized the crib was empty.

She searched the room frantically before a scream erupted from deep inside of her chest. "Oh God, no! No, no, no!"

He found his way to the doorway. "Michelle? What's wrong, baby?"

"She's gone!" she shrieked, tears pouring down her cheeks. "Nicole's gone!"

"Gone?" he sounded baffled. "Where could she have gone?" Inside, he felt nothing but relief. _Good boy, Mike..._

"I don't know!" Her chest heaved as she tried to catch her breath.

He touched her arm tentatively, not certain at all of how she was going to respond. She would either let him comfort her or she would shoot him.

She felt his hand, and she turned into him and buried her face in his chest, sobbing uncontrollably.

He closed his arms around her. "Maybe we should call the police," he murmured into her hair.

She nodded, closing her eyes as the tears continued to fall.

He pulled his phone from his pocket and dialed '911.' Calmly, he explained what had happened to the dispatcher as he continued to comfort the distraught woman in his arms. "What's the address here, babe?"

"Forty S-stone Drive," she stuttered, pulling away from him and standing in front of the empty crib.

He relayed the address to the dispatcher, giving his name as Robert Endicott. Closing the phone, he stepped up behind her and closed his hands over her shoulders. "They're on the way."

Her knees buckled, and she buried her face in her arms and leaned heavily against the crib as she continued to sob miserably.

Putting his arms around her, he supported her while they waited for the police.

She heard the knock on her front door some time later, and she wiped at her eyes and stoically walked out of the nursery. Reaching the front door, she opened it and ushered the police inside.

Bobby stood back, remaining near the fireplace as Michelle talked with the police.

Pulling a pack of cigarettes and a lighter from his pants pocket, he stepped out onto the porch and lit up. Certain all the officers were busy with the hysterical mother, he made a fast phone call.

_Hey man,_ Logan's voice came over the line.

"Take her home, Mike," he said quickly.

_But, you..._

"Don't worry about me. Get her out of here now. Get her home. I'll call you later."

He snapped the phone shut and slid it back into his pocket. A police officer came out onto the porch with him. Bobby grinned at him. "I, uh, I don't want to smoke in the house. I don't know what else to do...and this settles my nerves."

"Exactly who are you?"

He pulled out his wallet and handed over the Illinois driver's license his friend had given him that afternoon. "I, uh, I had a date with her."

"Illinois?"

"Yes. I'm an accountant, in the area on business. I met Michelle when I stopped for lunch and we struck up a conversation. She invited me for dinner, and I took her up on it."

"Did you hear anything, Mr. Endicott?"

"Nothing. The storm was making a fair racket and I'm afraid I was, uh, distracted."

"How did you get here?"

"I drove. My car's right there..." He stared at the empty spot where his car had been earlier. "What the hell...?"

He stepped off the porch, into the driving rain. "Oh, man! That was a rental!"

He followed the cop back into the house, once more soaked to the skin. His wet shirt was still in the dryer. He looked at Michelle. "I'm sorry, Michelle. Whoever did this took off in my car. I...I must have left the keys in it when I rolled the window up." He looked at the cop he'd spoken to. "I was a little...well, flustered, I guess...and let's just say the keys were the last thing on my mind."

She nodded wordlessly.

He walked over to the couch and held a hand out to her, offering comfort. It was a role he was very comfortable playing.

She sat down beside him and buried her face in his shoulder, sobbing once more.

The front door slammed open, and Michelle's eldest son, C.J., flew into the room. "Ma, what happened?" he demanded, casting an angry glare at the strange man who was holding his mother.

Michelle wiped her tears away and stood up, grabbing her son in a crushing hug. "It's Nicole," she said softly, leaning against her son who was a couple of inches taller than her.

"What happened to Nikki, Ma?" he demanded, returning her hug.

"She's gone! Someone took her." At the words, she fell apart again and rested her head against her son's shoulder. C.J. ran his hand up and down his mother's back, shushing her gently.

Finally he gently smoothed his hand over her hair, then whispered into her ear. She nodded, and he guided her into her bedroom. A few minutes later, he reappeared in the living room.

"Who are you?" he demanded, narrowing his eyes at the man sitting on the couch.

Bobby held up his hands. "I had a date with your mother this evening."

C.J. crossed his arms over his chest. "Yeah, well, my mom needs her rest, and I don't know you."

"That's fine. If you'd get my shirt from the dryer, please, I'm sure I can get a ride with one of these police officers back to my motel."

He stormed into the laundry room, retrieved the shirt, then went back into the living room. "Here," he muttered, tossing the shirt onto the couch. With another glare at the man, he disappeared into his mother's bedroom again.

Bobby pulled on his shirt and looked at the sergeant. "I, um, I need a ride."

She nodded and headed toward the door, with Bobby trailing behind her. Outside, the rain continued to pound ruthlessly into the ground, and she slid into the driver's seat and started the car.

He climbed into the back of the patrol car as another officer slid into the passenger seat. He had a feeling this was not going to be a friendly drive.

As they pulled out onto the main road, Sergeant Coulter looked in the review mirror at the man in the backseat. "So, you wanna tell us who you really are?"

"Excuse me?"

"You heard me. You show up at Michelle's place the same night her daughter is kidnapped? That's just too much of a coincidence for me."

"Are you this suspicious of every out-of-town visitor?"

"This is a very small town, _sir_. We know everyone here and everyone who visits."

"I wasn't aware that I had to check in with anyone when I came into town."

She glared at him. "Is this guy trying to push my buttons?" she muttered loudly to the other officer who was sitting beside her.

Bobby leaned forward, knowing he had to stay in his role until Mike was well away. He needed more time. "Look, Sheriff Taylor, I came into town this morning, met Michelle when I stopped for lunch and got asked to her place for dinner. If you or Deputy Fife here can explain how I orchestrated a kidnapping and a carjacking while I was on the couch making out with her, please tell me how I did it. I'd like to know."

She finally nodded, satisfied. "All right then." She leaned on the accelerator, then looked into the review mirror again as she masterfully maneuvered the sharp curves that went through the mountains. "Where are we taking ya?"

"The Holiday Inn."

She nodded, and the rest of the ride ensued in silence.

Fifteen minutes later, they pulled into the parking lot of the Holiday Inn, and Coulter turned to face Bobby. "Thanks for your cooperation, and sorry about the inquisition. That's our job."

He shrugged. "If you want an apology from me for being in the wrong place at the wrong time, fine. Do I need to stay in town?"

She looked him up and down before shaking her head. "Nah. But if I run into you again..."

His mouth quirked into a half-smile. "No promises, Sergeant."

"Good. Now get outta my sight, before I change my mind."

He turned and headed into the motel. Pulling out his wallet, he extracted the key to the room he'd gotten with Mike. Removing all the personal possessions from the room, he headed down the hall to the room he'd taken under the name Robert Endicott. Better that he make himself available to local law enforcement under the pseudonym he gave them than to get caught before he was ready to reveal who he really was.

After a cold shower, he dropped onto the bed and called his partner.

_Bobby? Are you okay?_ Alex asked, her voice tinged with worry.

"I'm fine, baby. I miss you like hell, though."

_I miss you, too. Both of us._

He smiled. "Did you hear from Mike?"

_He called Carolyn. Said that he had the baby, and that she was okay. Thank God._

"He's on his way to Charlotte. Once he's back in New York, let me know and I'll arrest Michelle."

_Good. Bring her back to New York. I want a piece of her, too._

"Uh, Alex...I...I found out some things...and I..." He closed his eyes. "I really owe you an apology."

_For what, baby?_

"For...what I had to do...so Mike could rescue Kiska."

There was a pause. Then she laughed. _Bobby, do you really think I care? You got that little girl out of there. I am so damn proud of you._

"Well, I'm not so proud of myself."

_I know you're probably feeling guilty, and don't worry, I'll smack you for that when you come home. But I am not upset with you. You understand me, Goren?_

He rested his head back against the pillow and smiled softly. "I, um, I really do wish you were here," he murmured.

_I do, too. I miss you like hell._

"Let me know when Mike gets home and I'll deal with bringing Michelle in. But...prepare yourself, Alex."

_For what?_

"I'm not convinced this woman is right in the head."

_Bobby, she kidnapped the child of two Major Case detectives, and attacked one of them. Of course she's not right in the head._

"I mean at an even more basic level. She has five sons, apparently all by the same man she called husband...Brad Cummings."

_Dear God..._

"It gets better. Cummings is her brother."

She was silent for a moment, her stomach churning violently. _What the hell?..._

"Something is really...off in her mind. Her oldest son is extremely protective of her, too. He did not appreciate my being there at all."

_I would imagine not._

"That was the plan..." he muttered.

She couldn't help but smile. _I'm sure. I can't wait till you come back home... you're the only one who can negotiate with this kid._

"Is he giving you trouble?"

_Yes she is. I swear, it's like she knows you're gone._

"Sorry, baby."

She sighed softly. _It's okay. Just get home soon. I want to make an appointment to get a sonogram done._

"I should be back tomorrow."

_Good. I'll stay here with Carolyn until Mike gets back._

"Call me when he gets there and I'll have a chat with the locals."

_I will. I love you, Bobby._ She went silent for a moment. _And the baby's saying hello, too._

He smiled. "I love you, too. Both of you."

_Bye, baby._

"Bye, Alex."

Alex smiled as she closed the phone, and she walked back into Carolyn's room. Carolyn was awake, and as Alex slid into the chair, she murmured, "Hey, how are you feeling?"

"I'll be feeling better as soon as Mike and my baby come home," she answered tersely.

Alex reached out and covered Carolyn's hand with hers. "Don't worry," she said softly. "They'll be here in a couple of hours. Then we can both smack Mike for making us worry."

They both laughed softly, and Carolyn settled back against the pillows.

Alex reached out and touched Carolyn's arm soothingly. "Go to sleep," she murmured. Carolyn nodded wordlessly.

Then she closed her eyes and tried to sleep. But it was long in coming.

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Mike was certain an Amber alert would have been issued by now, but he was able to board the plane without challenge. He'd stopped to pick up a diaper bag and related necessities...diapers, a bottle and formula, some crackers, Cheerios and a burger for him. Now he settled back in the seat with his daughter in his lap.

She had slowly gotten more alert and now she sat there happily chewing on his badge. He kissed her head. "Everything's okay now, Kitkat, and you can give Uncle Bobby a huge thank you after he gets home. I know I will."

He relaxed once they were in the air. When she started fussing, he gave her a bottle and then she slept snuggled in his arms. He kissed her soft head. "I love you, Kitkat."

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Nearly five hours had passed since Alex had last heard from her partner, and she was steadily becoming more anxious. Every minute or so, she turned her head, hoping to see Mike at the door. But he still hadn't returned.

Her stomach growled, and she rubbed it slowly, then stood up, glad that Carolyn was still sleeping. She opened the door and walked into the hall, heading in the direction of the cafeteria to get some dinner. Then she would come right back.

Twenty minutes later, after she had eaten dinner, she slipped quietly back into Carolyn's room, relieved to see that she had not awoken. She sat down in the chair and shifted until she was comfortable. Then she closed her eyes and continued to wait.

Mike was exhausted. He was operating on little sleep and was seeing the downside of an adrenaline rush. He debated what to do once he got off the plane and decided the very best thing for both of them was sleep. First, he called Alex.

Her phone vibrated angrily against her hip, jolting her out of her sleep, and she quickly stood up and walked into the hallway. Then she opened her phone and said, "Mike, where are you?"

_On my way home from JFK. I can barely stay awake, Alex._

She exhaled softly. "Bring the baby here. I'll take care of her, and Carolyn needs to see her."

_She'll need to see a doctor...just to be sure she's totally all right._

"I'll take her myself, if you want me to, Mike."

He was silent for a long time, debating whether or not he wanted to turn Kiska over to anyone else just yet. _Uh, did Bobby get away from Michelle's? I kinda left him stranded._

"Yes. He called me a few hours ago. He's at the hotel." She thought for a moment. "It's okay if you don't want to right now, Mike. But don't wait too long. Carolyn has been missing you both."

_Yeah...I'll bring her up. Uh, did he tell you what he did so I could get the baby out of there?_

She chuckled softly. "Yes. And he sounded scared out of his mind."

_He...didn't tell me._

"From the way he was talking, you'd have thought he had thrown her against the wall..."

_Did he?_

"No. Apparently, they were kissing when she realized the baby was gone. And somehow, he lost his shirt in the process."

_Lost his shirt kissing?_ He laughed. _Way to go, man. _He settled the baby in the crook of his other arm. _I can't wait to hear this one. _He told the cab driver to head for the hospital instead of his apartment.

She rolled her eyes. "Shut up. You've got your little girl back, and when she gets to New York, I get a shot at her, too."

_Is Bobby bringing her back?_

"Of course."

_Sweet._

"Yeah. I already told him, I want a piece of this nutcase."

_I guess he did, too,_ he teased with a chuckle.

"Do you just want to get hit?"

_If I'm gonna get smacked, I may as well make it worth it._

"Idiot."

_I love you, too, sweetheart._

"Goodbye, Mike."

_You gonna call lover boy or do you want me to?_

"I'll call him. You just get yourself over here before Carolyn tries to walk out again."

_Okay, babe...see you soon._

"Bye, Mike." She ended the call, then dialed Bobby's number and waited patiently for him to answer.

The phone woke him from an exhausted sleep. "Hmm? Uh, I mean, Goren."

_Hey, baby. Did I wake you up?_

"Alex? Uh, it's okay. What's wrong?"

_Nothing. Mike's on his way to the hospital with the baby. Thought you'd like to know._

"They're back in New York?"

_Yeah. I just talked to him. He'll be here in a few minutes._

"Kiska is okay?"

_He's going to take her to Pediatrics after Carolyn sees her. I know he's worried, but is there something you're not telling me?_

"I don't think so. Why?"

_Never mind. I guess he's erring on the side of caution. I'm sorry about waking you up, baby. Go back to sleep._

"No...what are you worried about?"

_Nothing, Bobby. You go back to sleep. You sound like you're about to pass out right now._

"Hmmm...love you, babe."

She chuckled. _Love you too. I'll see you tomorrow._

"'Kay." Bobby closed the phone and it slid from his hand onto the mattress as he returned to sleep.

She laughed again and closed her phone, turning in her seat when she heard the door open. Mike stepped into the room, and she stood up and hugged him.

Mike wrapped an arm around Alex. "You girls are a sight for sore eyes," he murmured as he let her take the baby from his arms.

"You are too, Mike," she said softly, cuddling Kiska close to her.

He walked over to Carolyn and kissed her softly, then searched for a chair to drop his weary body into. "You talk to Bobby?"

"Yeah. But he was half asleep." She sat down in the other chair, gently setting Kiska in her lap and bouncing her gently.

"He has the right idea. And I bet by the time he gets home he'll be more than ready to chase you around the sheets," he laughed, a teasing glimmer in his eye. This was too much fun.

She growled at him and looked for something to throw at his head.

He laughed again. "Don't be embarrassed, honey. He has quite a rep, you know."

"Oh, I know. Just like you."

"Not quite. He has more class."

"That's true." She winked at him to let him know she was kidding, then looked down at the little girl in her lap. "Is that your badge she's chewing on?"

"Yeah. I didn't have anything else to give her."

She smiled. "She can chew on your finger for all I care right now, Mike."

"She seems to be fine, but I want a doctor to check her over anyway."

"That's smart, Mike." She thought for a moment. "How did you two get her out?"

"Are you sure you really want to hear this?"

"I'm going to hear it either way."

He sighed. "I had to stay out of sight because I've met her, so Bobby volunteered to find out where the baby's room was and then to distract her so I could get in and get the baby."

She nodded. "By dealing with Michelle."

He shifted uncomfortably and nodded. "Yeah."

She smiled gently at him. "Mike, relax. You both are okay, Kiska's safe, and Carolyn's going to be all right. I don't care that he kissed her."

"Yeah, well...I hope that's all he did."

She sat back in the chair. "He told me what happened, Mike. And he was scared of what I was going to say. He didn't do anything else. He would have told me."

"I hope you're right. I wasn't in there, so I don't know for sure, but he had to shut her down so I could get in and out, and drive off, without being noticed."

"And you did." She sighed. "You both did what you had to do to protect this little girl."

"I know. But I don't feel bad about what I did."

"Good."

He stretched out his legs and yawned. "You okay with her, Alex?"

She smiled. "Of course, Mike." Then she stood up and grabbed an extra blanket, draping it over him with her free hand. "I'll watch them. You get some sleep."

He smiled at her. "Night, honey."

She smiled back at him affectionately and settled back into her chair. "Night, Mike."

Kiska looked over at Mike and cooed, "Da."

He opened one eye and grinned at her. "Good night, Kitkat."

Alex settled the little girl in the crook of her right arm and kissed her head.

It wasn't long before Mike was softly snoring.

Alex was playing with the baby a few hours later when Carolyn stirred, and she smiled. "Carolyn?"

Carolyn groaned softly. "Yeah?"

Alex stood up and carefully perched herself on the bed, then placed Kiska beside Carolyn. The baby's little face little up, and she began babbling happily.

Carolyn froze, and a single tear slid down her cheek. "Kiska?" She reached out and placed her hand gently on the baby's back, sighing softly in relief.

Alex smiled and carefully raised the bed, then placed Kiska in Carolyn's arms. "Somebody wants you, Carolyn," she murmured, her own eyes watering.

Ignoring the pain in her ribs, Carolyn held the baby tightly to her chest and kissed the top of her head. "I missed you, little girl," she whispered tearfully.

Alex wiped her own tears away, then rested her hand on her friend's shoulder. "She's fine, Carolyn. We're going to take her down to Pediatrics later to get her checked over, but there's no bruises or abrasions."

"Thank God," Carolyn whispered, resting her head against the pillows.

After a few minutes, Carolyn turned her head in the direction of Alex's voice. "Where was she?" she asked softly.

Alex swiped her hand over her face. "Carolyn, maybe we should-"

"No, Alex," Carolyn interrupted. "Someone took my little girl away, and I want to know who, and where they took her. And why they did it."

Alex looked at Mike's sleeping form, suddenly envious of him. Then she sighed deeply and said, "She was in North Carolina."

Carolyn's brow furrowed. "N-North Carolina? What?"

Alex reached over and touched Carolyn's shoulder. "I am so sorry, Carolyn, but Michelle took her."

Carolyn felt as though the air had been sucked out of her lungs. Michelle? Her friend? The woman who had helped her through her pregnancy, who had given her a place to live? "Oh, God..."

Alex leaned forward and, mindful of the baby, hugged the other woman. "I'm sorry, Carolyn, but she did."

"W-why? Why would she do this?" Tears were falling, and her shoulders shook.

Alex shook her head. "I don't know. But all that matters is that your little girl is safe."

A thought suddenly hit her. "Mike? Where's Mike?" she asked anxiously.

"Shh, Carolyn," Alex soothed. "He's asleep in a chair beside you. He's fine, too."

She nodded shakily. "What about Bobby?"

"He's fine, too. He's still in North Carolina, but he'll be back tomorrow," Alex murmured.

Carolyn took a few breaths, then leaned back against the pillows, the baby still in her arms. "Alex," she started a few seconds later. "How did you guys find her?"

Alex rubbed her temple. "There were... strands of hair in the backseat of your car. There were roots still attached, and we ran them through the data bank."

Carolyn could hear her reluctance. "And?"

"And we... we found out that whoever had done it... was a direct female relation of Brad Cummings."

Panic gripped her heart, and she tasted bile as it crept up in the back of her throat. Swallowing thickly, she whispered, "The bastard who raped me?"

"Yes."

Understanding fell over Carolyn, and her stomach heaved violently. "M-Michelle was... was his sister? And she took my baby?"

Alex saw her press her fist to her mouth, and she quickly took the baby and grabbed the bedpan, placing it in front of Carolyn just before she began to heave. "Shh, shh," she whispered, rubbing Carolyn's back as her entire body shook.

Carolyn felt hot tears spill as she heaved, the extra pressure wreaking havoc with her broken ribs. Finally her stomach was empty, and she fell back against the pillows, laying her arm over her eyes as she shivered.

Alex shifted the baby to her hip and stood up, walking into the bathroom to empty the bedpan. Flushing the toilet, she walked back to the bed, casting a glance at Mike's still sleeping form. Then she sat down, sitting the baby in her lap. "Are you okay, Carolyn?" she asked gently.

Carolyn nodded silently as she attempted to calm her churning stomach.

Alex spotted a pitcher of water by the bed, and she sat one of the cups upright and carefully poured the water into it. "Here, Carolyn," she murmured, placing the cup in Carolyn's trembling hands.

She took it and sipped at the cool water gratefully, and when she finally found her voice, she whispered, "Thanks, Alex."

"Don't thank me, Carolyn," she murmured, taking the cup when she was finished.

Once her stomach was calm again, she patted the bed and murmured, "Hand her to me, Alex. Please."

Alex smiled and gently laid the happy baby in Carolyn's arms again, and silence blanketed the room, pierced only by Mike's slight snores and the baby's happy coos.

TBC...

A/N: Well, there ya'll have it. Bobby's out of that evil woman's clutches, Kiska is safe with her mommy and daddy, and it looks like the end is in sight, right? Well, ya'll don't know us very well, do ya? (evil laughter) Happy Halloween, ghouls and goblins! Give us a nice treat and please review!


	6. Reaching Out

Well, this chapter is almost twice as long as the others, but I figured that if I cut it off before I actually did, I'd probably get chased down with rusty sporks and flaming left shoes! (looks around nervously) But I think ya'll will be fairly pleased with this ending. So enjoy this update while I get ready to scare the pants off of people for the final night of our haunted house! Boo!

Disclaimer: Not ours!

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Bobby woke up early the next morning and fought down an impulse to call his partner. She wasn't an early riser like he was. He took a shower and put his gun and his badge on his belt, pulling on his jacket and heading out to the police station.

Sergeant Coulter was pouring herself a fresh cup of coffee when she saw him, and she narrowed her eyes. "Hey," she said, walking up to him. "What'd I say about staying outta my sight?"

He slid his gold badge off his belt and showed it to her.

Her eyes widened in surprise as she examined the badge carefully, and the corners of her mouth quirked. "NYPD, huh?"

"Yes. Major Case."

She crossed her arms over her chest. "Mind explaining what you were really doing at the Benevidez house yesterday?"

"Is there someplace we can talk in private?"

She nodded and turned around. "My office. Come on."

He followed her down a narrow hallway into a small, cluttered office.

She sat down behind the desk, then motioned to the two chairs in front of her. "Sit down, please."

He eased himself into a chair and said, "My name is Goren. I'm sorry about yesterday. It was...necessary."

She nodded. "Could you explain to me why it was necessary?"

He ran his hand through his hair. "That baby...is not Michelle's baby."

She leaned back in the chair. "What?"

He shifted in the chair and considered the best way to explain what had happened. "Did you ever meet Carolyn Barek when she lived here?"

Coulter thought for a moment. "No, but Michelle did mention once that she had a friend staying with her by that name."

"Did she also mention that Carolyn was pregnant?"

"No, she didn't."

"Didn't it seem odd to you that she suddenly had a baby without the minor detail of a pregnancy?"

"To tell you the truth, I haven't seen or spoken to Michelle in over a year. I didn't know she had even had another child, other than the boys."

He got to his feet and paced in front of her desk as he talked. "Uh, the baby is Carolyn's. And her father is a friend of mine, another Major Case detective named Logan. He and I came down here yesterday, looking for his daughter. Michelle assaulted Carolyn, leaving her with a serious head injury that has cost her her sight, maybe permanently. We don't know for sure yet. We had no idea what Michelle might do if we confronted her, so I made contact with her and...I, uh, got her to invite me for dinner. While I...distracted her...the baby's father went in and recovered her and took her home. Now...I'm here to arrest Michelle and bring her back to New York to face charges of assault and kidnapping. Does that about cover it for you, Sergeant?"

She took this in and thought for a moment, then rose to her feet. "You're lucky I have a little girl about that baby's age. Let's go. I'll get the entire damn squad out there. We'll get her, Detective."

He raised a hand. "No. She has no idea that the baby is home. She thinks I'm a businessman from Chicago. I don't want her to take off, or harm herself. I need to be the one to take her into custody, Sergeant. Just you and me, and a pair of patrolmen. That's all we'll need. She doesn't suspect that I'm a cop."

"Fine." She looked him over for a minute, and a grin appeared on her face. "Your first name's Bobby, isn't it?"

His mouth quirked into a warm smile. "Uh, yes."

"Your reputation proceeds you, Detective," she stated, extending her hand to him.

He accepted her hand, puzzled. "Excuse me?"

"This may be a small town, but I do read the paper and watch the news."

He raised an eyebrow, interested and impressed, but also a bit embarrassed. "So is that something that works in my favor, Sergeant?"

She scoffed. "Not a bit. I know people, and I can see that you're a good person."

"Am I that transparent?" he asked, eyes bright with amusement.

"Yes." She walked past him and opened the door, then shouted, "Kelly, Martinez! Get in here!"

Bobby leaned back against the wall and watched the sergeant, his mouth still set in a small, amused grin.

Two officers appeared in the office, and she motioned to Bobby. "Detective Goren, these are two of my best people." They nodded at Bobby.

He extended a hand to each in turn, recognizing one from the ride in the patrol car the day before. He grinned as recognition filled his eyes.

She grinned. "Martinez, it seems that you owe me twenty. I was right."

Martinez grumbled and slipped a bill into her hand.

Bobby was convinced that if he spent any amount of time down here with this police force, he'd live in a perpetual state of amusement.

Tucking the bill into her pocket, she said, "Kids, we're going on a ride. Remember the Benevidez case?"

Kelly and Martinez nodded.

"Well, it seems that that baby was kidnapped by Benevidez herself. Detective Goren here has just informed me that her real parents are detectives in the New York Major Case Squad."

Kelly's eyes widened, while Martinez still looked skeptical.

"Wait a second, Detective Goren? As in Robert Goren?" Kelly asked, quirking an eyebrow.

"Yes." Bobby admitted.

His face broke out into a grin, and he reached out and shook Bobby's hand enthusiastically.

After a moment, Coulter pushed him away and said, "Knock it off, rookie."

Kelly looked down at his feet, and Coulter shook her head.

Bobby smiled. He liked these cops.

Coulter motioned to Bobby, then said, "We're going back to the Benevidez house, and Detective Goren is going to apprehend her. And before either of you open your yaps, he does have jurisdiction. The baby was kidnapped back in New York."

They headed out of the station to the patrol cars in the lot outside. Bobby got into the passenger seat beside Coulter and they headed toward Michelle's house.

"All right, kids, we're going to let Goren go in and get her. Got it?"

The younger officers nodded, and she nodded, satisfied.

The three locals leaned against their cars as Bobby mounted he steps to the porch and, buttoning his jacket to conceal his badge, he knocked on the door.

Michelle heard the knock on the door, and she rose off of the couch and walked to the door. Opening it, a small smile appeared on her face, and she said, "Bobby."

He let a small smile touch his mouth. "Good morning. How are you feeling today?"

She shrugged. "They still haven't found Nicole, and I didn't sleep well last night."

"Kiska," he said softly.

Her face drained of color. "What? No, her name's Nicole."

"No, Michelle." His voice remained gentle. "Her name is Kiska, and she is home with her parents, where she belongs."

She shook her head. "No, her name is Nicole, and her home's right here, with me and her brothers."

"I'm sorry, Michelle. Carolyn is her mother and Mike Logan is her father. She is home in New York."

Her fists clenched, and she continued to shake her head as her voice rose. "No, no they're not. She looks just like her father, my husband."

"Your brother. And no, she doesn't."

"Yes she does! She looks exactly like him!"

He unbuttoned his jacket, pulling out his handcuffs. "You beat her mother with a baseball bat and left her bleeding in a gutter when you kidnapped Kiska." He emphasized the baby's given name.

She took a step backward, crossing her arms protectively over her chest. "I did not," she hissed in a cold voice.

"We found your DNA in her car."

She shook her head. "No, it wasn't. The baby is mine, just like my boys."

"Your boys are the product of incest. They'll be placed in foster care. You're under arrest, Michelle...for assault and kidnapping. You have the right to remain silent..." He cruised through her Miranda rights, then asked, "Do you understand your rights as I have read them to you?"

She let out a low growl, then shot her fist out, smirking when it connected with his jaw. Then she spun around and ran back into the house, yelling for her sons.

Dazed by the blow, he wiped blood off his chin and ran after her.

"C.J.!" she shouted. Her eldest son appeared, and she grabbed his shoulders and said, "They took Nikki. Don't let them touch your brothers."

"Michelle!" Bobby called after her.

C.J. pulled a gun out of the back of his pants, then handed it to Michelle.

Bobby slid to a halt, hands out, away from his own weapon.

Michelle held the gun at her side, her chest heaving as she breathed heavily. "I want my daughter back, Bobby," she spat venomously. "I didn't do what I did just to lose her to that _slut_!"

"Put the gun down, Michelle."

She looked at the gun, then back at him. "No. Because when I do, I know what you're going to do. And it's not happening."

He cocked his head to the side. "Why did you invite me here for dinner?" he asked softly.

She blinked, then snarled, "Because I thought you'd be a quick bang. But obviously I was dead wrong."

"I could have been," he said softly. "I...was willing..."

"Yeah, right." She shook her head.

"Look at me," he replied softly.

She looked him in the eye with steel in her spine.

He kept the warmth in his dark eyes. "But I don't do anything quick," he said. "Don't do anything you'll regret."

"Already have," she snapped.

Gradually he inched closer to her. "You don't want to use that gun, Michelle. Not here, in front of your sons."

She took a step back, gripping the gun tighter. "C.J., take your brothers out side," she said in a deadly calm voice.

C.J. calmly gathered his brothers and led them out the back door.

Bobby hoped Coulter would have the sense to get the boys out of there.

Outside, Coulter saw the children appear from the back of the house, and she got out of the car, the other officers behind her. The oldest of the boys defiantly stepped in front of the younger ones, but Coulter quickly subdued him and the other officers moved the younger children away from the house.

Inside the house, Bobby changed tactics. "Tell me something, Michelle."

"What?" she snapped.

"Why...did you kiss me last night?"

"I told you."

"I want to know the real reason. You weren't a woman looking for a quick lay last night."

"Yes, I was. You're not going to get to me with these police tactics, so don't even try. I'm not going with you, and I am going to get my daughter back."

He ignored her demands. "Is that how it started with Brad? Just a quick lay, every once in awhile, because it felt good?"

"Don't you dare even try to compare the two," she snarled, raising the gun.

He withdrew, raising his hands. "Michelle, you really don't want to shoot me."

"Really?" She cocked her head to the side. "And how the hell would you know what I want?"

"I looked in your eyes last night. I didn't see a woman who wanted me dead."

She chuckled coldly. "I didn't then. But now..."

"What's changed?"

"You're a cop. And my boys come first. If I go, that wouldn't be good for them. So if you know what's good, you'll walk out, right now."

"What do you think will happen to them if you shoot me?"

She shrugged indifferently. "Self defense. No jury will convict me."

"I haven't drawn my weapon, Michelle."

"But it's just you and me." She forced tears to her eyes, then said in a small voice, "He came in threatening me. My boys were so scared, and then he drew his weapon."

"Do you really think I came here alone?"

She scratched her temple. "No, I suppose not."

"So where do you think those boys are right now?"

Rage boiled through her, and she growled, "If they touched my sons..."

"Give me the gun, Michelle!"

"No!" She aimed at his chest, her finger resting lightly on the trigger.

He raised his hands again, looked away, head cocked, brain racing. "You don't have access to Kiska," he said softly. "I do."

She shook her head. "Screw you, Bobby. I know exactly what you're doing. You think that if you say you have Nicole, I'll fall over myself and give in." Her mouth curled in a cruel, stony smile. "Wrong."

"I didn't say I have her. I said I have access to her."

She shook her head.

At the back of the house, Coulter silently climbed the steps, easing along the wall of the house until she saw the sliding glass doors. Then she peered inside. Benevidez had Goren at gunpoint, and she drew her own weapon.

"Come on, Michelle...you have to know this isn't smart. And you're not a stupid woman."

"You're right, I'm not." And she pulled the trigger.

Coulter heard the shot, and she grabbed the handle of the door and shoved it open, then trained her gun on Michelle.

Michelle turned and aimed the gun at Coulter, but Coulter was faster. She fired one bullet into Michelle's ankle, sending her to the ground.

When Michelle's gun went off, Bobby spun once and dropped to the floor, fire burning deep in his side. As he fell, he struck his head on the edge of a chair and was unconscious by the time he hit the floor.

Coulter kicked Michelle's gun away, then shouted, "Kelly, Martinez, get your asses in here!" Then she knelt down beside Goren. "Damn it, Goren, you hang in there!" she growled, shoving her palm against the blood that was flowing freely from the gunshot in his side.

Kelly and Martinez quickly appeared in the house, and Martinez rolled Michelle onto her stomach and cuffed her, while Kelly knelt down beside Goren and Coulter. "Call for a bus!" Coulter ordered, and Kelly quickly grabbed his radio and began barking orders into it.

Coulter stayed by Goren and kept her hands against his side, until the paramedics showed up. Then she reluctantly stepped away and pointed at Michelle. "She's a prisoner. Martinez, you ride with her, and don't you dare let her out of your sight."

Martinez nodded and followed Michelle's stretcher, while Coulter stayed by Goren's side until the medics stabilized him and carefully lifted him onto the stretcher. Then she followed them out of the house. When they got outside, she said, "Kelly, run those boys down to the precinct."

Kelly nodded and ushered the boys into the car, then climbed into the driver's seat and pulled away from the house.

Coulter rode in the bus with Goren to the hospital, watching him until she wasn't allowed to go any further. Then she pulled out her phone and began making calls.

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Alex was watching Mike play with Kiska when her cell phone vibrated, and she took it out of her pocket, frowning at the caller I.D.

Ross waited for Eames to answer the phone, trying to keep his worry and anger under control.

She walked into the hall and opened the phone, then said quietly, "Eames."

_Eames, can you tell me what your partner was doing in North Carolina?_

Her stomach dropped, and she licked her lips. "Getting Logan's daughter," she stated.

_And who was supposed to be his backup?_

"I... don't know. He was supposed to be coming home today."

_Where is Logan's daughter now?_

"Here, with her parents." A knot had formed in her stomach, and was quickly tightening. "Mike brought her home last night. Bobby was supposed to take the next flight out, so he could bring the woman who kidnapped her."

_So why don't you know who was supposed to be backing up your partner in making that arrest?_

She sighed. "Look, captain, you need to talk to Logan, because I don't know. They didn't want to put more pressure on me or Carolyn, so they didn't tell us everything."

_Someone failed him somewhere along the way, Eames._

Those words sent a chill down her spine. "W-what are you talking about, Captain?" she whispered.

_I just got a call from a Sergeant Coulter in Murphy, North Carolina. Apparently, your partner went in after the suspect without immediate backup_. He waited for an answer, and when none was forthcoming, he pressed angrily, _Did you hear what I said?_

She took a shaky breath. "Is he okay?" she whispered, her heart pounding.

_No, Eames. He is not okay._

Her back hit the wall, and she could feel her heart pounding viciously against her ribs. "Where is he? What hospital is he in?"

Ross took a deep breath to steady his emotions. _My detectives should not be flying solo, relying on the locals to back them up. Was Logan supposed to be his backup?_

"I told you, I don't know! Where is Bobby?" she demanded, her hand tightly gripping the phone.

_Watch your tone, detective. He is on a medical flight right now. He'll be transported from LaGuardia to NYU on arrival._

She bit her lip. "Thank you, Captain. Did they tell you what his condition was?"

_Serious. The suspect drew on him and he took a hit in the side. He did not regain consciousness in the ER and he is currently under heavy sedation for transport. Do I have to tell you how angry I am, detective?_

"No, you don't, sir. But I'm about to go tell Logan how angry I am."

_I don't know who I'm supposed to be angry at: Your partner for going after a suspect solo or Logan for failing to back him up in making that arrest. They are both going to hear about it from me._

Not before they hear it from me, she thought. "Yes sir," she said, distracted. "I need to go, sir."

_Let Logan know I am not happy._

"I will." She closed the phone and shoved it into her pocket, then leaned against the wall for a few minutes, trying to compose herself. When she was ready, she walked back into Carolyn's room.

Mike was still playing with the baby. He looked toward the door when Alex came back into the room. "So when's he getting here?" he asked, assuming the call was from Bobby.

She sank down into the empty chair. "That wasn't Bobby, Mike."

He raised an eyebrow. "What's wrong?"

"It was Ross." She didn't look at him, because she knew that she would lose it if she did. "Mike, why did you let him go back by himself?"

"Let him? Is that what he said? I let him? Alex, he called me and told me to get my ass on the next flight north and get this baby home. If he's telling Ross I let him arrest her on his own, I'm gonna kick his ass."

"He was shot, Mike," she whispered, resting her forehead in her hand.

He stared at her, torn between not comprehending and not believing what she said. "He what?"

"She shot him while he was trying to arrest her." She stood up and began pacing the room. "Oh God."

"No...There has to be some mistake. She was ready to jump his ass last night. What the hell happened?"

"I don't know!" The baby kicked in response to her anxiety. "All Ross said was that it was serious, and that he hadn't been conscious."

"Oh, God," he moaned. "What have I done? He was...this was...No...He was there because of my daughter...arresting her kidnapper. How could I...?"

She couldn't take it anymore, and she walked out of the room before she lost complete control.

He wanted to go after her, but he knew better. She was on the edge and if he went after her, he'd be putting himself in the strike zone. He looked at Kiska. "Oh, baby girl...how am I supposed to deal with this?"

Carolyn had caught most of the conversation, and she reached out, finding Mike's shoulder with her hand.

He didn't react, lost in his own misery.

She squeezed his shoulder, then said hoarsely, "Go help her."

"No, thank you. I have no desire to be used as target practice."

"Fine. Then help me out of this damn bed, and _I'll_ go help her. The last thing she needs is to be alone right now."

"Okay, fine," he swore. "Take the baby and I'll subject myself to her wrath. I hope you appreciate this." He set the baby on the bed, made sure she had a good hold on her, and he left the room.

Carolyn held Kiska to her chest and said softly, "Daddy screwed up, but he's going to make it right. That's why we love him."

The baby just smiled and babbled happily.

It took some searching, but he finally found her pacing back and forth on the mezzanine outside the gift shop.

"Alex..."

She looked up at him and wiped her tears away. "What, Mike?"

"I'm sorry. I'm really sorry."

She shook her head, then stepped into his arms and buried her face in his chest.

He wrapped his arms around her, resting his cheek against her head and drawing in an uneven breath of his own. "He went...because of me...It's my fault..."

She shook her head. "It's his own goddamn fault. He's so damn stubborn." A sob escaped her throat, and she balled his shirt in her fists.

He wrapped his arms around her, resting his cheek against her head and drawing in an uneven breath of his own. "He went...because of me...It's my fault..."

"But he should've seen it!"

"Alex...the woman was ready to sleep with him. He had no reason to believe she'd try to kill him twelve hours later."

She shuddered. "If he makes it, I'm going to kill him," she swore through her tears.

"He thinks he's untouchable," Mike said softly.

"I know he does. The dumb ass..." She shivered again.

"You'll get no argument from me there. But I really am sorry...I let him down."

She wiped her tears away and slowly pulled out of his arms. "Could you do me a favor?"

"Anything."

"Could you... make sure they bring him here?"

"Where are they supposed to be taking him?"

She shrugged. "Ross didn't tell me. He just said they were moving him to New York."

"So what are you going to so, sweetheart?"

She shrugged, then grabbed his hand and held it over his stomach, where the baby was kicking. "I guess I need to go sit down and try to relax. That's what Bobby would be wanting me to do."

He closed his eyes at the storm of motion under his hand. "Is he always that active?"

She grinned. "Why are you and Bobby so certain it's a boy?"

"I just use 'he' in the generic sense. I suppose I could just say 'it' but that makes me out to be an ass. Are you convinced 'he' is a 'she'?"

"Like I told Bobby, I have a good feeling."

He grinned. "I guess we'll find out soon, huh?"

She couldn't help but return his smile. "In another month or two. That's when we'll be able to tell."

"You gonna find out?"

She thought about it. "I think we both want to know." Tears welled up again, and she sighed softly. "We should get back. I think I need to sit down."

"Sure. But I can see him wanting to wait, to be surprised."

"And there's a nursery that I want to get painted before this little Goren is born." She rubbed her belly tenderly.

"He seems to have Daddy's energy."

"She does. Only his child would find a way to be restless and pace before they were born."

"I won't argue with you there."

She wiped a stray tear away, then hugged him again before heading back to Carolyn's room.

She walked through the door, smiling when she saw Carolyn playing with her daughter.

Carolyn raised her head. "Alex?"

She slid into the chair and touched the baby's cheek. "Yeah, it's me."

"Are you okay?"

She looked at Mike, then said, "Yes, I'll be fine. It's just that..."

"Just that what, Alex?"

She sighed. "Bobby was shot, Carolyn. His situation is pretty serious."

Carolyn covered her mouth and inhaled sharply. "What? What happened?"

Alex looked at Mike again, then sighed shakily. "Michelle shot him," she said quietly, not missing the look of horror that crossed Carolyn's face.

Carolyn tightened her arms around the baby and groaned softly. _This is all my fault,_ she thought, her throat tightening._ I did all of this._

Alex frowned and leaned closer, gently resting her hand on Carolyn's shoulder. But when the other woman pulled away, she looked at Mike pleadingly.

Mike shrugged, not sure what was wrong.

She reached out and grabbed his hand, pulling him closer to them. Then she stood up and whispered, "Just... just hug her, Mike. Think you can do that?"

He gave her a patronizing look, then stepped up to Carolyn, hugging her and asking, "What's wrong?"

She shook her head, but welcomed his embrace and rested her head on his shoulder.

"Don't tell me 'no'. Talk to me."

"I'm sorry," she finally whispered, turning into him to alleviate some of the pressure on her ribs.

"Uh, sorry for what? You didn't do anything."

She shivered. "I... I thought... She seemed so nice... and she helped me so much. I really thought that s-she was a good person..."

"So? We all make mistakes in judging people. Today was Bobby's turn."

"But if I hadn't gone, or if I had gone somewhere else... this wouldn't have happened. Our little girl wouldn't have been taken, and Bobby wouldn't have been... shot."

"Bobby getting shot was in large part his own doing. Hell, if a woman tried to get in my pants one day, I wouldn't expect her to try shooting them off me the next."

She shook her head and moved to rub her eyes, growling at the bandages that still covered them. With a sigh, she laid her head on Mike's chest again. She rested her palm against his chest, then moved it to his shoulder. "Well, you two do keep me on my toes," she weakly joked.

"That's a tall order. I'm enough to keep track of all on my own."

She smiled a little. "I know, Mike. But I'm here."

"Exactly. You're here. I should have been there. So it's his fault and it's mine. He underestimated her and I underestimated him."

She stiffened. "Mike..." She sighed and shifted in the bed, reluctantly moving from his embrace to settle back against the pillows.

"What'd I do now?"

When she finally found a position that didn't put so much pressure on her ribs, she breathed deeply and said, "Nothing. Where is he?" Then she reached out and found his hand, curling her fingers tightly around his.

Alex looked at Mike. "We're trying to get him moved here."

Carolyn nodded.

Alex stood up and touched Mike's shoulder, saying, "I have some phone calls to make. I'll be right back."

Carolyn ran her hand over the baby's back, another surge of thankfulness rushing through her. Their daughter was back, and she was fine. But at what price?

Mike paced restlessly beside the bed. "How did this all go so wrong?"

She heard him moving, and she shook her head slowly. "I don't know, Mike. I don't know."

"It was all about the baby. She was the only thing either of us thought about. We got her out of there, and he just wanted me to take her home, get her away, keep her safe."

"And you did."

"Yes, I did. And I didn't think about what he was walking into. I should have dropped her off and gone right back. That's what a partner would have done. What the hell was I thinking? I let him fall, Carolyn."

"You did the right thing. You protected an innocent child, our child."

"But that was only half the fucking job! Carolyn, she's not his kid! Suppose this incident takes him away from the kid he did father? Okay, our kid's safe but that's not the goddamn end of the story!"

She tightened her arms around Kiska. "Fine, Mike. You're right. It's not. But what if you had left Kiska at the hotel? Or what if you had stayed behind? Then it wouldn't have been just Bobby. You probably would have gotten hurt, too, and then where would we be? Fuck, Mike..." She growled in frustration. "What do you want me to say? Yeah, you screwed up. Everyone does."

His eyes narrowed angrily. "So it's okay to sacrifice him as long as I didn't get hurt? What the hell did you do with your fucking heart? You loved the guy once. That emotion just evaporated? The ends justify the means, and it's okay if someone else dies as long as I didn't stub a fucking toe!"

She leaned back against the pillows, and when she spoke again, her voice was soft and quiet. "That's not what I meant, Mike. Yes, you should have gone in with him. You were wrong, and if something happens to him..." She shuddered involuntarily. "Maybe you should just go, Mike. Clear your head. Go check on Alex. Do whatever the hell you need to do."

He felt the fury continue to boil below the surface, lingering at the edge of his control. "It really was about her and only about her. He came up with the plan that got her out, and he sent me home with her. I got like you. I couldn't see beyond what was right in front of me. I never gave a second thought to what might go wrong during the arrest. I never thought about my partner's safety. She's my kid. And I let another guy take the fall in getting her rescued and keeping her safe. What kind of guy does that make me? I'll tell ya--it's one I don't care to be."

She sighed. "Mike, you couldn't have possibly seen this coming. And if you could have, I know you would have done everything in your power to stop it, because that's who you are." She freed one hand and touched the bed.

"You just don't get it, do you? I didn't shed a drop of blood saving her. That women was a nut case. But Bobby's used to dealing with people like that, so I left him to it. I didn't see it coming...but do I have to see the future to back up my partner? I can't understand why you don't seem to give a shit for anyone beyond the baby and me. You never used to be that way."

She was quiet for a few moments. "It's like you said. She wanted him, and neither of you could have predicted that she'd try to kill him the next day."

"You dance around your emotions almost as well as he does, do you know that? I get pretty damn tired of the dance, too, and I know Alex does as well."

"You're probably right. I am terrified and so mad right now, and all I can think to do is hug and hit you and Bobby both for being complete idiots and going to North Carolina without me or Alex."

"Then fucking act like you care, dammit."

She turned her head away from his voice. When she turned her head back again, tears were on her cheeks. "I do care, Logan. More than you'll ever realize." She wiped at her cheeks and cleared her throat.

"Yeah, but your caring has its limits."

The barbs stung, and she was tired of it. Carefully holding the baby to her chest, she pushed herself up and swung her legs over the side of the bed. Then she rose to her feet. "You don't know, Mike. And I don't expect you to. But don't_ ever_ tell me how I feel."

"Then try telling me. I'm no good at guessing games. I know what I see. I'm just a cop. I'm not a friggin profiler like you and Goren. You have to tell me, or I don't know."

Her head was spinning, but she ignored it. "Fine. You want to know so bad? I'm scared to hell for Bobby and Alex and that baby. I hope to God that he's going to be okay. I'm pissed at you for letting him play cowboy and him getting shot. I'm thankful that my daughter is safe. And I'm fucking scared out of my mind that I'm never going to see again! Are you happy now, damn it?"

He leaned back against the window and studied her. "Was that so damn hard?" he growled.

She turned around and fumbled for the bed with her free hand. Then she eased herself down onto it.

"You need to see the big picture and quit hyperfocusing. I'm not the great catch you make me out to be. But I'm loyal and I love you. I screwed up big time, and I hope it's not going to cost a baby his father. I admit my faults. But I also admit my loyalties. Alex doesn't question my affection for her because I show it. And Bobby doesn't question my friendship, because it's right out there. You need to stop hiding behind everything else and give those two that same respect. Whenever something comes up, you hide behind the baby, or you try to focus on me. Everything has its place, Carolyn. Alex stayed here with you instead of coming to North Carolina with us, even though she felt a real need to go. After all, no one backs her partner up like she does and the proof is in the pudding...She's proved her friendship time and again since you've some back. And I won't even get into how you've treated Bobby. Sometimes you act like the guy doesn't exist at all. I don't know why you're afraid of him, but you need to get over it. He acts like he doesn't notice, but you and I both know he notices everything."

"I know, Mike. You think I don't know all of this? I fight it every day." She sighed softly. "I've screwed up. I'm only human. I try to show how much I appreciate them... and you." She rolled carefully onto her side. "I'm sorry."

"Don't tell me that. The only one you ever show anything to is me."

"You're right. I know you are. And I'm going to talk to them."

"Before you do that, why don't you tell me what they did to change the way you react to them?"

She bit her lip. "I... I don't want to get into this right now, Mike."

"Fine. I'm going to find Alex and see if she's gonna lose the father of her kid. I'll be back later." He paused at the door. "I know you went through hell dealing with the rape and the pregnancy and all. I've tried to help you deal with that, and I never judged you for it, but they say love is blind. Alex and Bobby gave you that same respect, and they don't have the excuse of being in love with you. Think about that. And you've seen them both with Kitkat. There's no condemnation. They deserve better."

She nodded. "Just go, Mike. We'll... we'll talk later."

"That would be a nice change. I'll be back."

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Several hours later, after finally being informed that Bobby had been transferred safely and had come through surgery well, Alex was standing in the door to his room. His eyes were closed, and an I.V. had been inserted into his hand.

She stood there for a few more moments before approaching the bed. "You're an idiot, Goren," she muttered, splaying her small hand out over his chest.

Mike appeared in the doorway. "How is he?" he asked from across the room.

She turned her head. "As good as can be expected." She reached out and touched the bandage that covered his right temple. "The doctors are worried about the blow he took to the head."

Remaining by the door, his eyes shifted from her to Bobby and back. "I am so sorry," he whispered, miserable.

She pressed her hand to her mouth, then turned around and hugged Mike, silently offering what comfort she could give.

"Don't," he muttered, gently pushing her away after a brief hug. "I don't want any sympathy. This is my fault. This is what happens when a guy doesn't back up his partner. If I had half a brain, I would have dropped the baby off and hopped the next plane back to Charlotte."

She turned around and rested her hand on the top of Bobby's head. "I should have been there," she said quietly. "He's my partner, and I should have been there."

"I took on that responsibility when we went to North Carolina. You weren't there, Alex. You didn't let him down. I did."

She let out a bitter laugh. "It sounds like we all screwed up. He shouldn't have gone by himself. Damn it, he knows better than to pull a stunt like that!"

"In his defense, though...the last thing a guy thinks about a girl who wants to fuck him is that she'll shoot him instead."

She shook her head. "I don't care. Didn't he learn anything from dealing with Wallace?"

"Wallace is in a class by herself, Alex. He doesn't compare anyone to her. He thought this would be a simple arrest, and to his credit, he had backup. He was smart enough to bring the locals with him. But I should have been there. On this job, I was his partner. My friggin' mind went as far as getting the baby out of there and then it went on vacation."

She sat down with a weary sigh. "So... he did have backup. He didn't go in there alone, half cocked."

"No, he didn't. I called down there and talked to a Sergeant Coulter. She was impressed with him. She was his backup, and she was the one who saved his life. She did my job."

"But he wasn't alone. Mike... you keep acting like you left him alone, completely unprotected. But he did have someone there." She sank back in the chair. "What about Michelle? Is she dead?"

"Nah. She's in custody and they're extradicting her. Coulter took her out with a shot in the ankle. That psycho was going to kill him, Alex."

"But she didn't. Thank God." She reached over and slid her hand into her partner's.

He rubbed the back of his head. "What is it with him and blond nut jobs?"

"I don't know. But hopefully he'll learn now."

"Are we talking about the same guy here?" He sighed. "I really am sorry I let you down."

She thought for a moment. "You didn't, Mike. He's alive, you didn't get your ass killed, and you two got that baby home. And as soon as he wakes up, I'm going to tell him the same thing."

"He's not going to feel bad about anything, except maybe getting caught with his guard down. She must have snowed him. But he didn't let anyone down."

It was her turn to laugh. "Are you kidding me, Logan? He's going to feel guilty about _all _of this!"

Mike snorted. "What'd he do wrong? He put himself on the line to save my kid, Alex. He had no obligation to do that."

"Mike, are we talking about the same person? He already feels terrible that she was taken in the first place. Now he's going to feel guilty that he couldn't get her home sooner. You know how he is. It's almost like he tries to find things to feel responsible for."

"Honey, he and I talked about this on the flight down there. He's not feeling bad about any of it. He'll feel bad he got his ass shot, but that's about all he's got this time."

She nodded thoughtfully. "Maybe that's good. But I will be surprised if he doesn't." She rested her hand protectively over her belly, then squeezed Bobby's hand. After a few moments of quiet, she said softly, "It feels like a... a bad dream. Like we're back in New Jersey."

"What did the doctors say?"

"That the bullet went straight through. They think he hit his head on something, probably when he fell. But they seem to think he'll be fine." She shivered. "I just want him to open his eyes and look at me, then say he's okay and that he wants to go home."

He walked over to the window and leaned against it. "I...um, I had an argument," he said quietly.

"What?"

"I got really pissed..." he trailed off.

She looked at him, realization in her eyes. "With Carolyn."

"Yeah."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"I...I don't get her. This guy has no commitment to her or to that kid, but he put his life on the line to save her. I can't tell you how much I appreciate that. But Carolyn's only reaction was 'At least you didn't get hurt, Mike.' What the hell is up with that? It's like she doesn't give a damn about him. She used him to get what she wanted and then she tossed him aside like he doesn't even matter. That's just...wrong. Not even a friggin' thank you. Just...'at least the baby's safe and you weren't hurt.'"

She nodded. "Don't think I haven't noticed. She... hasn't been herself since she's been back."

"I tried to get her to talk to me and she said she doesn't want to discuss it. So I left. I couldn't find you, and I they said he was still in transport, so I had a few beers and then came up here. I'm still pissed."

"I believe you. But I'm talking about the rape. It's been over a year, and we know that she didn't even go to a hospital. I'm not in any way trying to excuse anything, but you know what PTSD is, right?"

"Yeah, but she won't listen to me. I try to talk to her and her response is basically 'bite me.'"

"You do have a temper, Mike. And a hell of a short fuse. Maybe I should try." She sighed and rubbed her temple. "I guess I just assumed she was getting help. God knows she needs it. Especially now."

He held up his hands. "I'm done with her, Alex. I mean, I love her, and I'm not going anywhere, but I'm done trying to talk to her, and I'm fed up with the way she treats you."

She pointed a finger at him. "You can't give up on her right now, Mike. She's blind, and she just found out that the only person she trusted last year kidnapped her daughter, and for all we know, was going to kill her. I didn't go through that, but I know what it feels like when you think you can't talk to the person you trust the most." She looked at Bobby, then at him again. "Let me talk to her," she said again. "I think I might be able to get her to get some help."

"Go for it. I'm not giving up on her, Alex. I'm just fed up with her attitude toward you guys. You deserve better."

She rose to her feet, then looked at Bobby again. "You stay here. I'm going to bring you the baby, then Carolyn and I are going to have a talk. All right?"

"Good luck with that."

She walked out of the room, then returned a few minutes later with a happily babbling baby. She handed Kiska to him, then paused a moment before kissing his cheek. "I'm going to try to reach her. Just remember... she loves you and that little girl. And this is hurting her, just like you were hurting and scared when you thought you were going to lose her."

"It's not about the baby and me, Alex. I'm not questioning that at all. This involves a bigger picture." He shifted the baby to his other arm when she started squealing happily and trying to get to Bobby. "Sorry, Kitkat. Uncle Bobby's asleep." He looked back at Alex. "Look at this. And Carolyn won't even acknowledge it."

She touched the baby's little head, then Mike's arm. "I think she knows it. I just think she has a hard time showing it. I've seen it, glimpses of it. You can't tell me you haven't."

He shook his head. "Not enough to offset the way she's treated you."

"I'm going to go talk to her. If Bobby wakes up... come get me."

"You got it."

She hugged him again, relieved when he didn't pull away this time. She wouldn't admit it, but she needed the comfort the contact provided. Then she walked over to Bobby's bed and slid her hand into his, bending down to kiss his forehead, then his lips. "I'll be back in a little while, Bobby," she whispered against his ear. "I love you."

After a few more moments, she reluctantly pulled her hand out of his and walked out of the room, leaving Mike alone with his little girl and Bobby.

Alex walked down the hall, found Carolyn's room, and quietly slipped inside. Immediately Carolyn's head turned in the direction of the door, and Alex stepped across the floor and sat down in the chair by Carolyn's bed.

"Alex?"

Alex smiled sadly as she looked at Carolyn's unseeing eyes. "Yeah, it's me. How are you feeling?"

Carolyn wrung her hands in her lap. "Not good. Mike and I had another fight..."

She nodded. "I know. He told me."

Her face fell, and she turned her head to hide a tear that threatened to fall. After a moment, she turned around again. "How much did he tell you?"

"Pretty much everything."

Carolyn was silent for a moment. Then she finally spoke softly. "I... I'm sorry, Alex. The way I've treated you and Bobby these past few months... it was inexcusable. You and Bobby are two of my closest friends... and I'm so sorry." Her shoulders shook, and a few seconds later, tears were pouring down her cheeks.

Alex was touched. As the tears continued to fall in torrents, she carefully eased herself onto the bed, then wrapped her arms around Carolyn and pulled her into a warm hug. "Shh, it's okay, Carolyn," she murmured, gently rubbing the other woman's back.

"No, no it's not!" she wept into Alex's shoulder. "I can't believe what I've done. I've been a terrible friend."

Alex continued to rub soothing circles over Carolyn's back and shoulders. "No, you haven't. You've just had... a lot on your mind."

"I have, but that's no reason."

Alex felt like a mother comforting her child after they had fallen off of their bike. She shifted a little and pulled Carolyn's head down to her shoulder. "But it's not helping. You were assaulted, and now you've lost your sight temporarily. I'd be willing to bet that you haven't even talked to anyone about this."

Carolyn stiffened a little, and she tried to pull away from Alex's embrace. "No, I haven't. And I don't need to."

"Carolyn." Alex gently grabbed Carolyn's chin, then hugged her again. "This is me you're talking to." She sighed very softly. "I understand what you're feeling."

"How, Alex? How could you possibly understand this?" Carolyn motioned to her face.

"Because, I was kidnapped last year."

Carolyn gasped softly. "W-what?"

"Yes. There was a woman, Jo Gage, who was so desperate to get her father's attention and love that she pretended to be a serial killer her father was... obsessed with. She would kidnap, torture and kill women in the fashion of this serial killer, Sebastian." She swallowed thickly. "I was one of the... of the victims," she whispered, still having trouble with the word.

"You were?"

Alex nodded. "Yes. And when I woke up, I couldn't accept that. I wouldn't talk to anyone, and it wasn't until Bobby nearly begged me to see a therapist that I finally talked to someone."

Carolyn thought for a minute. "Did... did it help?" she asked quietly.

"It did, once I finally got it out and realized that I wasn't alone. There were people who knew what I'd been through, and they helped me so much." She smiled softly. "So did Bobby. He was so understanding and helpful, more than I thought he would be. He really helped me."

"Really?"

"Really." She gently brushed back a strand of Carolyn's hair. "And Mike will help you too, if you'd just talk to him."

Tears stung at her eyes, and she shook her head. "No, he won't. Not once he knows..."

"Why won't he?"

Carolyn bit her lip and turned her head, but Alex refused to let her retreat. She pulled her into a hug and gently tightened her arms around the frightened brunette woman.

"Carolyn, this is Mike we're talking about. He loves you, even if he doesn't show it all the time."

"I've t-tried talking to him. But I... I just can't find the words."

Alex nodded solemnly. "He didn't go through it, so how could he understand?"

Carolyn nodded.

"But if you haven't talked to him, how do you know whether or not he'll understand?"

Carolyn was completely silent, but Alex was patient. She didn't move away or speak, because she knew that this was the part Carolyn had to overcome on her own. Once she did, then she could be reached. Several more minutes passed in silence while Carolyn tried to gather her thoughts.

"I... I guess I don't. But-"

"But nothing," Alex interrupted. "He loves you, and if anything, Bobby and I are proof of what talking about that can do. I opened up to him about my attack, and look where we are."

"This is different," Carolyn argued weakly.

Alex shook her head. "It's only different because you're trying to make it different. You have to open up to him, Carolyn. I mean really open up to him. Because if you can't talk to him, you're going to lose him."

Carolyn visibly shuddered at that truthful statement.

Alex gently smoothed her palm over Carolyn's hair. "And I know you don't want that."

Carolyn nodded slowly, suddenly exhausted.

"So, will you think about talking to someone about this? Please?"

"Yes." She pulled Alex into a tight hug, another wave of regret and thankfulness sweeping through her. "Thank you, Alex. For everything. And again, I'm sorry about these past few months."

Alex shook her head and gently wiped away Carolyn's tears. "Carolyn, you don't need to apologize. It's okay. Just promise me you'll try to get help. And that you'll talk to Mike."

"I... I will."

A smile crept over Alex's face. "Good, because he can be really stupid whenever you two fight. He thinks it's smart to go get drunk any time you two hit a rough patch. The idiot..."

Carolyn laughed softly. "But they're our idiots."

"They are. And I don't know about you, but I wouldn't change anything about them."

"Me neither." She tried to stifle a yawn, and Alex chuckled.

"Why don't you get some sleep, Carolyn?"

She nodded reluctantly, and Alex smiled again and slid off of the bed, carefully guiding Carolyn back down onto the pillows. But when she turned to leave, Carolyn shot her hand out and grabbed Alex's wrist.

"What, Carolyn?" she asked softly.

"Thanks again, Alex," she mumbled, already almost asleep.

Alex chuckled warmly and gently pried Carolyn's hand away from her wrist.

"You're welcome, Carolyn. Now go to sleep."

"Hmm..."

She stood there for a few more minutes, until Carolyn's steady breathing told her that she was asleep. Then she pulled a blanket over her sleeping friend before slipping out of the room and heading back to Bobby's room.

Alex stepped into Bobby's room, casting Mike a smile as she stepped up to Bobby's bed and gently closed her hand over his arm.

"He hasn't moved. Sorry, sweetheart."

"It's fine." She focused her hazel eyes on him. "I talked to her."

"And you didn't get anywhere..." He huffed, kissed the baby's head and added, "And no, it isn't _fine_."

"You know what I mean, Mike. And you're wrong. I did get somewhere."

"I hope you got further than I did because I haven't even made it down the block yet."

She grabbed the chair from beside Bobby's bed and dragged it across the floor. Then she sat down in front of Mike. "I think I did. She's... hurt, and confused. I don't know why she told me what she did, but I think that when you're ready, she'll talk. And I mean really talk."

He sighed. "I hope so, Alex. Because I'm really fed up with this. Look, I'm going to take Kitkat home so she can sleep tonight in her crib. I'll be back in the morning. Call me when he wakes up. I want to know."

She nodded and leaned over to hug him. "I will say this. When she does open up, it's going to hurt." Tears welled in her eyes. "Just listen, and be there. You'll see what I'm talking about." She kissed the baby's head. "I'll call you if he wakes up."

He frowned. "'If', Alex?"

"The blow to the head he took was pretty bad. He could wake up tonight, or it might not be until tomorrow."

He looked from Alex to Bobby and back. "Don't think I'm not beating myself up over this. I am really sorry."

She sighed and ruffled his hair. "I know, Mike. I wish you'd stop, but..." She shook her head. "Just go home and get some sleep, okay?"

He pressed his lips against her forehead. "Call me."

"You know I will. Get out of here. Take your girl home." She stood up and pulled the chair back to the bed, then sat down again. "Good night, Mike."

"Good night, Alex."

She watched him carry his little girl out of the room, and when the door shut, she leaned forward in her chair and rested her head on Bobby's arm. "Please wake up, Bobby," she murmured, caressing his cheek slowly.

TBC...

A/N: Well, we hope ya'll enjoyed this update, and the twist or two tossed in for good measure. But again, is the light at the end of the tunnel actually light? Or is it a freakin' HUGE train?... (ducks flaming shoes and rusty sporks)


	7. Blind Faith

Hmm... well, there's not too much to say for this author's note. We're glad ya'll enjoyed the last chapter, and here's the next one! Enjoy!

Disclaimer: Not ours! Darn...

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His head was pounding and he felt sick to his stomach, and when he moved, he was aware of a secondary pain, not as prominent, deep in his side. Most of it was hidden behind a too familiar haze and he realized something had gone very wrong somewhere along the way. He tried to move, but even with his eyes closed, he could feel the room spinning wildly and he groaned.

His groan startled her from sleep, and she quickly leaned forward and rested one hand on his chest, and the other over his arm. "Hey, partner," she whispered, fighting to keep the tears at bay.

His eyes fluttered open, but he quickly shut them and murmured, "Hold the room still."

She chuckled and smoothed the back of her hand against his cheek. "Shh," she murmured, rising out of her seat to kiss his forehead. "You took a pretty nasty hit. Two of them, actually."

"I feel...like I was run down by a bus."

"A bullet, actually." She was quiet for a moment. "I missed you."

"A b-bullet?"

"Yeah." She allowed her small hand to wander over to his injured side, just barely touching the bandage that covered the injury.

He tried opening his eyes again, but she swam into his field of vision and dipped back out, and his stomach flipped. He swallowed hard and snapped his eyes shut again, willing the world to stop spinning and lurching. "Wh-where?"

Her brow furrowed. "What do you mean, where? Baby, in North Carolina. When you went in and tried to arrest Michelle."

"What...are you talking about?"

Her mouth twisted in a frown, and she tightened her hand on his arm. "Bobby, you and Mike went to North Carolina to get Kiska. Once she was safe, you told Mike to get the baby back home, and he did. Michelle shot you the next day."

"K-Kiska...is she okay?"

She nodded and gently stroked his arm. "She's fine. Mike took her home so they could both get some sleep." She rose to her feet. "I'm going to go get a nurse."

He remembered a mouth, warm and searching against his, a mouth that wasn't Alex's. _Bedroom,_ she whispered, and then a scream...a missing baby...police...a cold shower and an empty bed... And that was all.

She sensed his agitation, and her concerns grew when he suddenly went completely still under her hand. She abandoned her original plan and leaned forward, gently hugging him to her as much as her abdomen would allow. "Shh, it's okay," she whispered, kissing him softly as she stroked his wayward curls. "We'll figure this out, baby. Don't worry."

He swallowed a surge of bile and groaned deeply. "I...I feel sick," he muttered. "Wh-what happened?"

"You hit your head after she shot you." She slid her hand into his and squeezed it reassuringly. "You've got to stop scaring us like this, baby."

"You...you think I meant to get shot?"

"No. But that doesn't make me any less scared or worried."

He tried opening his eyes again. The room was a little more stable, even if his stomach wasn't. "Sh-she found out...?"

"Michelle? I don't know. You'll have to call Logan and ask him. I think he talked with the officers who were there with you."

"I-I could have sworn...that she bought my cover. She figured out I was a cop..."

She nodded. "It was probably a dead giveaway when you showed up on her doorstep to arrest her."

"Didn't he go in with me?"

"No. And he's beating himself up about it."

"Why?"

"Because you were injured trying to protect his daughter."

"Protect her? She was back? I thought Mike brought her home. We didn't grab the wrong baby, did we?"

She chuckled. "No, baby. You didn't. But he thinks that because he didn't leave the baby at the hotel or get on the first plane back, that this is all his fault."

"Leave her at the hotel? Unattended? I'd have kicked his ass all the way home."

She couldn't help but grin. "I know you would have. And when he comes back up here, you can tell him that yourself."

He paused as another wave of nausea washed over him. Cold sweat broke out on his forehead and he leaned back against the pillows. As it subsided, he opened his eyes to look into a face that was deeply concerned. "I-I can't remember what happened. I-I remember taking a shower and talking to you...an-and that's the last of it. I can't remember going back to Michelle's to arrest her. Did I really go alone, with no backup?"

"From what I heard, you didn't. There were three other officers there with you." She gently ran the back of her fingers up his arm. "Don't try to remember right now. Just relax."

"God, I read her wrong...and if I went after her alone...Ross is going to have my head mounted on his wall."

"Don't worry, he is. Both you and Mike."

He groaned. "I don't get...why..."

"Shh, calm down, Bobby." She carefully eased herself onto the bed beside him, resting a gentle hand on his abdomen.

"Did I read her that wrong, that I thought I didn't need backup?"

She continued to caress his abdomen. "You probably didn't think that she'd try to hurt you the day after she tried to get into your pants."

"I know better," he murmured.

"But for such a smart guy, you can be stupid sometimes."

"Thanks, Eames."

"Any time, Goren," she teased.

But he wasn't amused. He was seriously angry with himself for the position he placed himself in, jeopardizing his life...and risking the chance his baby would grow up without him. With a dark frown, he rolled onto his side, away from her.

Her smile disappeared, and she laid a hand on his shoulder. "Bobby, don't do this," she said quietly.

"I don't feel good right now, Eames. I need to rest."

She nodded and smoothed her hand over his side before sliding off of the bed. Leaning over to kiss his temple, she fingered a curl and murmured, "I'm going home. Are you going to be okay for a few hours?"

"As long as I don't have to go arrest anyone," he muttered bitterly.

She sighed deeply, realizing that there would be no getting through to him any time soon. "I love you. I'll see you in a few hours, when I don't feel like I could play the lead in Night Of The Living Dead," she joked lamely.

His only reply was a brief nod, which sent his stomach lurching again. Once it settled, he replied, "No rush."

She thought for a moment before walking around to the other side of the bed, where she could see his troubled eyes. Then she leaned down and framed his face with her small hands, and she kissed him deeply. When she finally let him go, she whispered, "I love you. Try to get some sleep."

His eyes closed when her lips met his, and he could not help responding to her. When she pulled back, she sent the room spinning around him. When he opened his eyes, his stomach rebelled again and he snapped them closed again, finding himself unable to reply. A bead of sweat trickled down his face and the throbbing in his head intensified. He struggled to control it so he could respond to her, but everything went black before he got to that point.

"Damn it," she cursed, caressing his forehead before she walked out of the room to get a doctor. Once she was assured that he would be fine, she left the hospital and headed home.

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When Carolyn awoke again, her ribs did not protest as badly to her sitting up. "Alex?" She waited for a reply. "Mike?" When she realized the room was empty, she fumbled along the side of the bed until she found the button to summon a nurse.

A couple of minutes later, she heard footsteps, then a cheery female voice asked, "Yes, Miss Barek? What do you need?"

Carolyn turned her head in the direction of the voice. "I want to go see my friend. He was admitted here yesterday, I think."

"What's your friend's name?"

"Bobby Goren."

"Oh, yes. I know him. I don't know if your doctor wants you moving around just yet. Hold on a minute, and I'll see what I can do, okay?"

Carolyn nodded, and the footsteps faded back out of the room. Several minutes passed, and finally Carolyn heard footsteps and a squeaking noise. "All right, Miss Barek, you can go see your friend. But you have to ride in a wheelchair."

Her mouth turned down, but she silently pushed herself upright and allowed the nurse to take her by the arm and help her down into the chair. The chair began moving, and Carolyn inwardly sighed. Would it always be like this? Being ushered around from one place to the other with the help of another person? She shuddered at the thought.

Finally the chair came to a stop, and the nurse said softly, "I'll leave you two alone, okay?"

Carolyn nodded. "Thank you." The nurse's footsteps faded away, and Carolyn waited until the door closed before she said quietly, "Bobby?"

He studied her for a moment. "I'm here," he answered, trying to keep his voice even. So many emotions were assaulting him and he was very on edge.

She sighed a little. "I want to come closer, but while this makes for good racing down the halls..."

He got off the bed, hesitating for a moment when the motion tilted the room. Once it righted itself and was stable again, he guided her from the wheelchair to the chair beside the bed. The he moved the wheelchair out of the way and pulled up the other chair so that he was facing her. Sitting down, he leaned forward and held her hands in his.

She was surprised when he helped her into a normal chair and she felt his hands cover his, but she squeezed them. "Thanks. How are you? No one's really told me anything."

"I'm sore as hell and just as angry," he replied honestly.

"I'm glad you're okay." She ignored her protesting ribs and leaned forward, wrapping her arms around him. "Thank you, Bobby," she whispered.

"I, uh..." He sighed. "You're welcome. I had to...do something."

"No, you didn't have to do anything. You had no obligation to. But you did, and you brought my baby back to me." She slowly pulled away from him, but kept her hands in his. "You have no idea what that means to me."

"You didn't think I would just sit back and do nothing, did you?"

"No. I guess I didn't." She wanted to see his face, to look him in the eye when she said this, and the fact that she couldn't only reminded her of what she had lost. She took a deep breath to quell the surge of emotions. "Bobby... I'm sorry. I'm sorry about the way I've treated you and Alex these past few months, and I'm so sorry that you were hurt doing what I should have been doing." She paused to catch her breath and rub her eyes, which had started stinging a little.

"Believe me, Carolyn, you would not have done what I did."

"What are you talking about?"

"Mike didn't tell you how we got her out?"

She bit her lip. "Mike and I... had a fight. He didn't tell me how you got her out."

"Maybe it's better that way," he mused.

Her curiosity piqued. "What? What did you have to do?"

He sighed. "She didn't know me...so I, uh, I played her a bit, to, uh, distract her, so Mike could climb into the baby's room and get her out."

At his uncomfortable silence, she smiled a little. "And you distracted her with your... dazzling wit?"

"Uh, not quite."

When she heard his fidgeting, her small smile grew larger. "You hit on her, didn't you?"

He was glad she couldn't see his face. "Hard," he admitted.

She covered her mouth with her hand, but it was useless. Her laughter escaped, and a twinge of pain went through her ribs. "Ow, ow," she gasped through the laughter.

He raised an eyebrow. "What's so funny?"

She rubbed her ribs for a moment, then raised her head again. "N-nothing. I can just see your face being that delightful shade of red," she teased before dissolving into laughter again.

He closed his eyes briefly and a small smile touched his mouth.

She cleared her throat after a minute, then groaned softly. "Damn, I've got to stop laughing like that."

"I haven't heard you laugh like that in a very long time," he said softly.

Her smile faded, and she said softly, "I haven't laughed like that in a long time."

He sighed, "She got me good, Carolyn. And I walked right into and set myself up for it. I wish I could remember what I was thinking, trying to go after her with no backup..." A powerful shudder coursed through him. "How could I do that...to her...to them...?"

"Hey..." She reached out and squeezed his hand as tightly as she could. "You did what you thought you needed to. And I'll never be able to thank you for that."

"I would never ask you to."

"I know. But... thank you." She pulled her hand away and drew him into another hug.

He folded his arms around her. "How is she?"

"She's fine. Mike has her right now."

"So what'd you fight about...if you don't mind my asking?"

She pulled away a little. "You, and Alex," she answered honestly.

He frowned, puzzled. "What?"

"Bobby, I've screwed up these past few months. Really badly. I've... I haven't treated you two the way I should have, and I'm so sorry about that." Tears began falling, but she stubbornly wiped them away.

"Hey...hey..." He pulled her into his arms and held her against his chest. "You...had a hard time...a lot of adjustment to make...I understand...how hard it can be."

When he pulled her against him, the tears began falling faster. "But it's... no excuse," she whispered, pressing her face into his shoulder. "You two have been amazing, and I had no right."

"That's crap. You have every right to your feelings, Carolyn. But if I've done anything to contribute to what you feel..."

"No, no you haven't. You never have."

His face became thoughtful. "Do you mind if I ask you something?"

"What?"

"Uh, h-how...how can I make this up to her?"

"Alex? Make what up to her?"

He drew in an uneven breath. "First of all, I almost feel like I've been unfaithful...and then...I was stupid...I don't know what the hell is wrong with me..."

She reached out an unsure hand and laid it against his cheek. "Bobby, you weren't unfaithful," she stated, using her other hand to squeeze his.

"I-I know that. But I still feel bad about it."

She tried a different tactic. "Did she say she was angry? Or look like she was?"

He snorted softly. "Actually, she reacted a lot like you did."

She let a smile curve her lips. "Then she's fine. You know how she is, Bobby. If she thought you had cheated on her, she would've kicked your ass from here back to North Carolina."

He smiled. "I know. And I did what I had to do to to get your daughter out of there. I know that. But knowing doesn't change how I feel. But I feel even worse about letting myself get shot. If I'd had backup, it wouldn't have happened."

She snorted. "Yeah, and if I had been paying more attention, none of this would have happened," she said, motioning to her eyes.

He let out a long slow breath. "Tell me what you're doing to cope with everything that's happened to you."

Even without her sight, she could feel his piercing gaze, and she shook her head guiltily. "I... d-don't."

"You don't what?" he frowned. "Don't tell me you're not doing anything."

"What is there to do, Bobby? The bastard that raped me is dead, so forget about closure there. It's done. Michelle's going to jail, and my daughter is home."

"And your thoughts and emotions are so scrambled you can't sort one of them from the other. Come on, Carolyn. You're smart. What would you tell anyone else in your situation?"

She lowered her head and closed her eyes, not caring that it didn't make a difference. "It hurts, Bobby. So bad that I can't even talk to Mike. How can I talk to anyone else, if I can't even talk to the man who says he loves me?" she whispered.

"Have you thought that maybe he's just a little too close, that talking to someone not so involved might be easier?"

She shook her head.

"You can talk to me, or to Alex about anything, but we're not professionals." He leaned in, bringing his face close to hers. "You have to work through this, or it will continue to tear your life apart until there's nothing left." He brushed his lips gently across her cheek. "If you won't do it for yourself," he whispered. "Then do it for the people you care about, for Mike, for your daughter. Don't rob them of getting to know the woman I knew two years ago."

His words brought another torrent of tears, and she leaned over and rested her head against his shoulder.

He held her, murmuring soothing words of comfort as he placed a soft kiss on her temple. Dating had not worked out for them, but he had never stopped caring for her, loving her.

"Sorry," she murmured sheepishly a few minutes later, wincing at her aching ribs.

"Sorry?" he asked. "What are you sorry for?"

"I'm a mess right now." She wiped at her eyes and let out a small laugh. "But like you and Mike like to say, I've always been a messy person."

"You're entitled to be a mess, I think, after all you've been through. But this mess can be cleaned up, baby. You need to talk to someone who can help you."

She mulled that over in her mind for a moment. Then she asked quietly, "Got anyone in mind?"

"There's a psychologist who works for the department...she's very good, very understanding. Mike knows her very well. Her name is Elizabeth Olivet."

She nodded. "I've heard of her."

"She can help you."

She swallowed thickly. "Maybe."

He remained close to her. "Do you want help, Carolyn?"

She nodded. "I do, and I want Mike to understand. But... I guess that second one is just a little much, huh?" she asked, smiling sadly.

He pushed her hair back from her face and answered, "What do you think he doesn't understand?"

She shivered and leaned into his hand. "I've tried talking to him about it, but he gets so mad," she said quietly. "He thought that I didn't appreciate you getting Kiska out of that place, because I didn't thank you. But he didn't even give me a chance to say that I would have thanked you, if I'd been able to see you."

"Anger is Mike's first gut reaction to anything that upsets him. And I'm not looking for anything from you. I did what I did because I didn't trust anyone else to do it. There's no need to thank me. I'm just sorry I messed it all up by being stupid and getting hurt." He touched his forehead to hers, knowing she needed the physical contact since she had no visual one. "I'm glad we got the baby out of there when we did."

A tear slid down her cheek, and she reached out and caught one of his hands in hers. "And I am so thankful you did. I don't know what I would've done if you two hadn't gone after her." A small smile appeared. "I almost walked out... twice. I got sick of not being able to help."

"Don't do anything stupid. I think I've got that well covered. Just let yourself heal. We don't need you getting run down by a cab because you can't see."

"You and Mike seem to have a monopoly on that corner." She sighed loudly. "What are Alex and I going to do with you two?"

"I don't have an answer for that." He squeezed her hand. "Listen to me, Carolyn. Physically, you healed from the rape, but you never addressed the emotional fallout, and that's what's rearing its head inside you now. You can't deal with it on your own, and I'm not trained to help you. Go to see Dr. Olivet. She can help you complete your healing. If you can't find it in you to do it for yourself, then do it for the ones you love. Do it for your daughter, and for Mike. If nothing else, do it as a favor to me."

She leaned forward and buried herself in his arms, sighing quietly. "I will, Bobby. I will."

He held her close, tenderly running a hand over her hair, comforting her. "It'll be all right. Mike will get over it. And if he gives you any more grief, send him to me. I'll set him straight. I owe him one anyway."

She smiled. "Thanks," she murmured, her voice muffled by his shoulder.

He felt her begin to relax against him, and he knew what that meant. Gently, he coaxed her onto the bed, intending to return to the chair after settling her in.

She sighed softly when she settled onto the bed. But when he pulled away, she grabbed his arm and squeezed it gently.

He understood the gesture, but hesitated, wondering just how much trouble he was going to find himself in if he gave in to her, even if it involved nothing more than holding her. But she was reaching out for comfort, something she desperately needed and was finding nowhere else. He didn't have it in his heart to turn her away. Sliding onto the bed beside her, he grabbed the book Alex had left for him, glad that the nausea and dizziness had gone away. His side was still painful, but he'd suffered worse pain in the fractured ribs he'd had a few months ago. He settled back, letting Carolyn curl into his side. Draping one arm around her, gentle and comforting, he opened his book to read.

In the back of her mind, a small voice was screaming about how wrong this could be, but she ignored it. She needed comfort, someone to understand, and right now, that was Bobby. She knew where she stood with him, and he with her. She heard the rustle of turning pages, and she smiled a little before snuggling her head into the pillow and fading off to sleep.

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Mike talked quietly to the baby as he headed down the hall toward Carolyn's room. "Maybe Mommy will be in a better mood. Maybe she'll talk to someone other than you and me."

The baby just smiled toothlessly at him, her brown eyes wide and understanding.

He pushed the door open and stopped to stare at the empty bed. "What the...? Where could she have gotten to?"

He walked out to the nurses' station, struggling to swallow a quickly growing panic. "Carolyn Barek?" he demanded. "Where is she?"

A nurse looked up at his frightened face, and she frowned. "She should be in her room."

Another nurse spoke up. "I thought I saw Tammy taking her down the hall an hour or so ago."

"She didn't have any tests or anything scheduled."

The first nurse, Melody, looked at Mike sympathetically. "Does she have any friends here, or anyone she might want to visit?"

"I love the way you people keep track of your patients," he snapped irritably, not listening past his anger. "But don't worry. I'll do your job and find her."

He stalked off, heading for Bobby's room, to see if he'd seen her.

Melody shook her head at the man's retreating form, but she couldn't help but smile. "There's a man in love, if I ever saw one," she declared, and the other nurses nodded and murmured their agreement.

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Pushing open the door to Bobby's room, he said, "Hey, man...have you seen..."

He stopped in his tracks, staring at the sight before his eyes. Carolyn was laying beside Bobby, curled into his side, sound asleep. Bobby set aside his book and studied Mike's face, gauging his reaction before he spoke.

An intense slurry of emotion cascaded across Mike's face. "What the hell...? What...?" He found himself unable to form a coherent question. Finally, he shifted furious eyes toward Bobby. "You son of a bitch..."

Bobby slid off the bed, careful not to wake Carolyn. He raised a hand. "Calm down, Mike. Do not jump to conclusions here..."

"Jump to conclusions? What makes you think I'm jumping? I know what I see!"

"And it's not what you think."

"All right, genius, tell me what I'm thinking."

"You're upsetting the baby. Calm the hell down."

"I'll calm down when you tell me why you're in bed with my girl."

Bobby sighed heavily. "I wasn't..."

"The hell you weren't!"

"Will you shut up and listen to me," he hissed quietly.

After discovering Carolyn was missing from her room, Alex stepped into Bobby's room, feeling much more refreshed and rested than she had in days. "Hey baby, have you seen-" Her voice trailed off when she saw the two men and Carolyn sleeping on the bed, and she immediately stepped between them.

He was surprised when Alex suddenly appeared between them.

Mike growled. "Take the baby and get out of my way, Alex."

She frowned at him and gently pushed him back against the wall. "No, Logan. Not again. You hold your daughter and stay right there."

Then she turned on her partner. "Bobby, what's going on?"

He wasn't surprised to see anger in her eyes, but he wasn't certain just where it came from or where she was going to direct it. He held up his hands, like he did when confronting a violent suspect. "I haven't done anything wrong here, Alex."

She reached out and grabbed his hands, squeezing them. "That's not what I asked, Bobby. I want to know why I walked in here, and you two were looking like a couple of high school kids about to fight. What is going on?"

"He won't listen, that's what. He jumps to conclusions and they become law."

"That's not true," Mike shot back. "I'd have listened to you...after I hit you a couple of times..."

Bobby shook his head. "I am not taking that crap from you when I didn't do anything out of line."

Her brow furrowed when it dawned on her, and she looked behind Bobby to where Carolyn was still sleeping peacefully on Bobby's bed. "Did she talk to you?"

"Yes," he said, his voice intense.

"About everything?" He nodded, and she turned around and looked at Mike. "So, she did the one thing that you've been wanting her to do for months, and you're_ mad_? What, because she didn't talk to you?" She took a step closer. "Let me remind you, Mike, of that short temper you have. So she went to Bobby and actually _talked_ to him." She shook her head. "Mike, you've got to stop this. She loves you and respects you too much to do what you think she did."

Bobby started to laugh, quietly. "You thought? Here? In a hospital room?" He shook his head. "That takes the cake, Mike. Look...it's over between her and me, and I thought you understood that. Why would you think I would ever jeopardize what I have with Alex, for something that I willingly gave up and put behind me, a long time ago?"

Mike looked from Alex to Bobby and back, feeling a little ganged up on. "Look, I didn't know..."

Bobby leaned over, closer to Alex's ear. "He jumped to conclusions."

She smiled and stepped forward, putting one hand on the baby's back. "It's what he's best at. Well, one of the things," she said, a teasing note in her voice.

Bobby pulled back, eyebrows raised in interest. "And how would you know what he's good at?" he asked, his voice carrying a tone of more than interest.

"Well, let's see..." She played along. "He's good at being nervous, losing his mind..."

Bobby stepped closer, placing his hands on her waist and smiling at her. Mike stepped forward and shoved the baby into Alex's arms. "Cold shower mean anything to you, man? Chill out. What did Carolyn tell you?"

"Who, me?" She batted her eyes innocently.

He snorted and looked at Bobby. "Come on, man. Just tell me. What did she tell you and how did she end up sleeping in your bed?"

"She told me you had a fight, and she thanked me for helping you bring the baby home. Where did she get the idea that she has been treating Alex and me wrong?" His eyes didn't waver from Mike's face.

Mike frowned. "She has been, and don't pretend you haven't noticed."

Bobby rubbed his temple gently. His head was starting to throb again and his side was burning from the tension in his body. "You're a jerk, do you know that?"

"Nothing else was working and I was fed up with her attitude."

Alex reached over and gently ran her hand over Bobby's side, then carefully shifted the baby to her hip.

He laid a gentle hand on Alex's back and pointed a finger at Mike, anger in his tone. "You are too hot-tempered and too quick to jump to conclusions. You need to get over that. She was upset, and she needed to have a calm rational conversation with someone who would listen to her. You haven't been willing to do that. I was. She was so upset, and so worked up she exhausted herself. She started to fall asleep in that chair and I knew she'd be more comfortable in the bed, so I let her sleep there. I was going to sit in the chair, but she needed...contact. She needed comfort. So I gave her that, just by sitting with her and letting her touch me."

Mike stared at him for a long moment, then he walked over to a chair, sat down and buried his face in his hands. Bobby pressed both hands against his throbbing temples and squeezed his eyes shut.

Alex looked at Bobby, then gently ushered him into the other chair. "Sit down," she murmured, gently massaging his shoulders with her free hand when he was situated in the chair.

Mike lifted his head and looked over at Bobby and Alex. "You in pain?" he asked softly.

Bobby waved a hand at him. "It comes and goes. Have you calmed down?"

"Yeah. I'm sorry. I guess I would have really gotten in hot water if I'd have hit you, huh?"

"Ask Alex that."

She gently poked Bobby. "I'm right here." Then she looked at Mike. "And yes, you would have."

"I'm such an ass," he groaned.

She looked at Bobby, then gently placed Kiska in his lap and walked over to Mike. "You can be sometimes, Mike," she agreed, squeezing his shoulder. "But you're a good man." She shifted her eyes toward the bed, then back to Mike. "And that's why she loves you. And your daughter, too."

"And you guys?"

She smiled. "Yes, and us too."

Mike looked skeptically at Bobby, whose eyes were closed as he propped his throbbing head on a hand. Opening one eye, he looked at his volatile friend. "I am not going to kiss you," he growled. After a moment of silence they both laughed.

Alex joined in the laughter, ruffling Mike's hair before she walked back over to Bobby and rested both hands on his shoulders. "You two always amuse me," she smirked, bending down to kiss the top of his head.

"That's one of our most important jobs," Bobby answered, placing his hands on hers.

Her laughter faded, and she freed her hand and placed it under his chin. Then she gently tilted his head up and covered his mouth with hers. When she finally pulled away, she sighed quietly and closed her eyes.

Surprised by the kiss and overwhelmed by its intensity, Bobby leaned back in the chair with his eyes closed.

She finally opened her eyes and grinned at him. Then she threaded her fingers through his hair and kissed his forehead.

Carolyn groaned softly and shifted her hips as sleep slipped from her grasp, and she opened her eyes, then closed them again. "Can someone please turn the sun down?" she groaned, resting her arm over her eyes and her other hand on her stomach.

"Carolyn?" Mike got to his feet and approached the bed.

She froze, then moved her arm and opened her eyes again. They slowly focused, and she reached her hand out and whispered, "I... it's so good to see you, Mike."

"See? You can see me?"

She smiled gently and slowly blinked. "It's a little fuzzy, but I can see you."

He pulled her into his arms and held her. "I'm sorry for being such a jerk," he muttered.

She rested her head against his shoulder and slid her arms around him. "It's okay," she murmured.

"I probably could have handled it better."

She slowly pulled back and framed his face with her hands, then studied his face carefully. Then she kissed him lightly, running her thumb over his jaw as she said, "You need sleep. And a shave."

"Yeah, well, Kitkat wasn't at her most cooperative last night."

She rested her forehead against his and smiled. "She's her father's daughter."

"We're both in trouble then."

"What did she do?"

"She just wanted to play all night, and she wouldn't let me sleep." He looked over at the baby, sound asleep in Bobby's lap. "And next time she does that I'm bringing her to you!"

She turned her head and looked at Bobby and Alex. "Hi," she murmured.

Alex returned her smile. "Hi, Carolyn."

Bobby met her eyes and gave her a soft smile, but he didn't say anything.

She sighed quietly and looked at her sleeping daughter, and tears slowly spilled down her cheeks. "Thanks, Bobby," she said quietly, her eyes focused intently on his.

He nodded, pleased he was able to help her. Then he grinned. "Too bad there's no way to undo stupidity," he said with a sad grin.

Her smile disappeared. "Alex, could you hit him for me for being an idiot?"

Alex grinned and poked her partner. "Bobby..."

"Well, if I hadn't gone in there with no back up..."

"Yeah, there are plenty of ifs lately. But you can't let those rule you, remember?" Carolyn reminded him.

"Hold on," Mike said. "What are you talking about?"

Alex stepped in. "Retrograde amnesia, Mike," she said quietly. "He doesn't remember most of the trip."

Mike frowned. "You didn't go in without backup, bonehead. You're smarter than that." He took a deep breath. "I should have been your backup. Then you wouldn't have gotten shot. I was your partner; it was my job to be there. I'm sorry I wasn't."

Bobby shook his head. "How could you being there have changed the outcome?"

"I talked to Sergeant Coulter. She and the two uniforms with her waited outside. She got worried and went in by the back door just as Michelle shot you. I would have been in there with you. There's the difference."

Bobby tipped his head back and looked at Alex. "I guess I did have backup."

"See?" She leaned over and kissed his forehead.

"See what?" he asked, still trying to handle the throbbing in his head.

"You're not completely hopeless." She kissed his nose.

He grinned. "You don't know that yet."

Carolyn shifted a little, then looked at Bobby and Alex. An unspoken question was written in her eyes, and Alex understood. Wordlessly, she carefully took Kiska from Bobby's lap and walked to the bed. Without waking the baby, she laid her in Carolyn's arms.

Carolyn sighed softly as Alex stepped back, and she touched their daughter's cheek.

"So," Mike said. "Are you moving in here, or should we get you back to your room so a doctor can look at you?"

She smirked and brushed her lips against his cheek. Then she handed him the baby and said, "Yeah, let's go." She looked at Bobby and Alex. "Alex, take care of him."

She nodded and squeezed Bobby's shoulders. "I always do."

"I need taking care of?" he protested.

She leaned down and whispered in his ear. "Yes, you do."

He shuddered. "Prove it," he challenged.

She pressed her forehead against the side of his head and smiled. "Wait until they're gone," she breathed.

He groaned as Mike helped Carolyn off the bed. "Let's get out of here before I start to get another complex."

She smiled at Alex and Bobby as she leaned against Mike. Then she looked around the room before looking at them. "Keep it quiet," she chuckled, and Alex rolled her eyes.

"Get out of here, Carolyn. I'm sure Mike just can't wait to get you alone," she teased back, and Carolyn blushed furiously.  
"I'm sure he can't."

"Alone?" Mike smirked. "Are you volunteering to watch the baby, Alex?"

She looked at Bobby, then back at Mike. "Give me a couple of hours," she grinned.

Bobby raised his eyebrows. "Hours? You have a lot of faith in me there, Alex. I just got shot and my head is going to explode. Give me thirty minutes and you'll wear me out right now." He lowered his voice. "But get me home..." He trailed off with a grin.

She laughed and gently pulled him to his feet, then led him over to the bed.

"Okay, we're going," Carolyn said, laughing softly.

Mike gently guided her toward the door, leaning closer. "Move quicker. If the past is any indicator, in two seconds they won't care who's in the room."

She laughed harder and nodded. "I'd run if I could, but I can't."

Alex watched Bobby settle carefully onto the bed, then she sat down beside him, resting a gentle hand on his chest.

He groaned softly as he eased his pounding head back into the pillows, then he pulled her into his arms and kissed her, hoping it would chase away the pain from his head.

She deepened the kiss, resting her hands on either side of his head and suspending her upper body over him. "At least... you get to... go home sooner," she whispered between kisses.

"Shh," he murmured, pulling her down into his arms. "Just...make the pain go away."

She smiled softly. He trusted her to make things better, as he always did. And she didn't let him down. She spent the next hour reminding him of how much she loved and trusted him.

And when they were finally sated, she collapsed beside him, content to just drape her arm over his stomach and snuggle into his side. She could feel one big hand stroke her hair and another caress her arm, and she tightened her grip on him as they both surrendered to an exhausted sleep.

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"I can't wait to go home," Carolyn muttered, grimacing as she lowered herself onto the bed and shifted until her ribs were no longer making it difficult for her to breathe. She looked hopefully at Mike. "You think they'll let me out now?"

"I hope so. I'm tired of hospitals."

"You and me both, hon."

"It's not good for Kitkat, either, being here."

She nodded and extended her arms. "Here, let me have her for a few minutes. I've missed seeing her," she said softly.

He handed the baby to her with a smile.

She smiled back at him, then at their daughter. "Hey, little girl," she murmured, cradling Kiska in the crook of her arm. Tears welled in her eyes, but she blinked them away and tickled Kiska's belly, making her squeal and laugh. "I missed this smile," she said softly, studying the baby's smiling face.

The baby laughed again and reached up, patting her chubby little hand against Carolyn's cheek. Carolyn smiled and kissed the baby's hand, then pretended to nibble on her fingers, and the baby shrieked and babbled at her.

Carolyn nodded, pretending to be in deep thought. "Uh huh... yeah, that's exactly what your daddy tells me, too."

Kiska paused for a moment, then turned her head to look at Mike. "Da!" she chirped, waving her hands at him.

Mike tapped her nose. "Monkey. Let me go get a doctor. Maybe they'll spring you from this place today or tomorrow."

"Great. It's getting boring around here."

"Trust me, honey. This is not a place where you want excitement."

She rolled her eyes and shifted Kiska to her other arm. "No, sweetie. You can't go with Daddy right now. He'll be right back." Kiska yawned and snuggled into her mother's side, and Carolyn smiled and stroked her soft head.

After a few minutes, Mike returned, quietly laughing. "The doctor will be in soon. He's at the other end of the floor."

"What's so funny?" she asked in amusement, though she had a sneaking suspicion.

His grin widened. "Alex is going to shoot me."

"What did you do now?"

He snickered. "I was passing by so I stopped in. I snuck over to her side of the bed and called her name. Scared the crap out of her."

She shook her head. "Your daddy is very mature," she murmured to the sleepy baby. Then she looked at Mike again and said, "I'm not going to stop her when she comes after you with a baseball bat."

"If it makes you feel any better, your boyfriend never moved. It takes a bullet and a whack to the head to get him to sleep like that."

"Hey." She grabbed the front of his shirt and pulled him down closer, then kissed him deeply. When she finally broke the kiss, she said, "My boyfriend is standing right here."

He grinned. "Yeah, I know. But why should you be immune? Alex needs a break from my rapier wit occasionally."

"Charming."

"I know I am."

She scooted over a little in the bed, laying the baby against her shoulder as she said, "Come here."

He sat beside her and looked at her curiously. His face became serious. "Did talking to Bobby really help you?"

She carefully moved closer to him and slid her hand into his. "Yeah, he did," she admitted quietly.

He looked thoughtful. "When he gets out of here, he and I are going out. I owe him that, for several reasons."

She smiled softly and raised her head, brushing her lips against his cheek. "I'm glad you understand."

"I don't know if I understand as much as I really don't care who you talked to. I know I can be as difficult as he is understanding. I'm just glad someone was able to help you."

"Well, what he really did was push me in the right direction. I'm... going to call Dr. Olivet when I get out of here."

He raised his eyebrows. "Really? You are?" He shook his head slowly. "Damn...good job, buddy. If I buy that guy all the beer I owe him, he's not gonna be able to walk," he laughed.

She smiled. "He told me that if I couldn't do it for myself, then I should do it for you and Kiska. And he was right."

"He's a smart guy. He knows what he's talking about."

"Yes, he does." She sighed softly and pressed herself into his side.

He put his arm around her, glad she was ready to step on the road to recovery.

She snuggled into him and closed her eyes. "Where's that doctor?" she grumbled, her eyelids growing heavy. "I want to go home."

He kissed the top of her head and smiled at the sleeping baby. He was still adjusting to this...having a family. He wasn't sure what to make of it, but he was beginning to like it.

She closed her eyes and didn't protest when Mike reached over and gently took the baby from her. She forced her eyes open again and yawned. "Never would've thought it," she murmured, caressing the baby's cheek.

"Thought what?"

"Us. Having a baby." She yawned again and relaxed completely against him. "Wake me up when the doctor gets here."

When she was asleep he nodded. "Yeah...who'd have ever thought it...me...a father?" He kissed the baby's head. "Pretty funny, huh, Kitkat? I just hope you never regret it."

TBC...

A/N: So, I thought that was a good place to end the chapter, with a sweet and fuzzy MikeKiska moment. We got a comment on the last chapter, that Carolyn should finally open up to Mike. Well Delirious, there ya go. And don't worry, Bobby will get a chance to do that over again. The right way... Because like I said, that's no light at the end of the tunnel. It's a train! And coming up in the next chapter, the collision! So review, everyone, and we'll update again soon!


	8. The Beat Of A Heart

Well, everyone, we've finally reached the next chapter. Yay. Now, we've got another six chapters or so already finished, so review and I'll get the next one posted pretty quick. Sound good? Enjoy, and please remember to review!

Disclaimer: See previous chapters. And if you still don't get it, well... that's just scary.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

A week had passed, and it seemed like everything was beginning to come together again. The day after Carolyn had gotten her sight back, she had been discharged from the hospital, followed by Bobby five days later.

Mike, Carolyn and Kiska had once again settled into a comfortable routine, including him returning to work. Which he protested, not that it surprised her. She was still uncomfortable with being alone in the apartment with the baby, but it was ebbing, and now she was looking forward to her first appointment with Dr. Olivet with a mixture of dread and anticipation.

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"Are you sure you still don't have a preference?" Alex teased as she sat on the table.

"I'm positive."

She rolled her eyes and settled her hand over her belly. "You're no fun, you know that, Goren?"

"So I've been told."

Turning her head in his direction, she watched as he read a book with great interest. "Good book?" she asked, annoyed by the crinkling of paper as she settled back against a pillow.

"Uh, yeah," he answered, distracted.

She smirked and tucked one arm under her head. Her other went to rest over her stomach, and she looked around the office at the pictures of other children.

A few more minutes passed, punctuated only by their breathing and the occasional turning of a page. "Bobby?" she finally asked, breaking the silence. "Have you thought about a nursery?"

He looked up, puzzled. "A nursery? Uh, well...no, I guess not."

She quirked her eyebrows. "Really? Where did you think we were going to put the crib, and everything else?"

"I guess I just thought the crib would go in the bedroom."

She smiled. "Oh, that reminds me. Guess what Carolyn has decided she's going to do?"

"What?"

"Throw me a baby shower."

His face broke into a warm smile. "That's good, Alex. I'm glad to hear that."

She returned his smile, but the moment was interrupted when the door opened.

"Good morning, folks. How are you feeling today, Alex?"

She smiled. "Other than the fact that this kid thinks my bladder is a squeeze toy? Good."

The doctor laughed as he extended a hand toward Bobby. "And how are you doing, Bobby?"

"I'm fine, thank you."

"As long as we're in sight," she teased, reaching over to poke her partner's shoulder.

He grinned and squeezed her side.

"Well, it's true."

He held her gaze for a moment, eyes glowing, before he remembered that the doctor was there. Turning back to look at the older man, he asked, "Uh, are you going to be doing an ultrasound today?"

"Yes, we are. As soon as I finish my examination, Kelly will bring the machine in."

Alex leaned back against the pillows, her eyes still on her partner.

The doctor stepped up to the exam table across from Bobby, who grabbed her hand and threaded his fingers into hers as she laid back so the doctor could measure her ever-expanding belly.

Looking at the tape measure, the doctor smiled. "Twenty inches. Perfect. Let's take a listen before we bring the machine in."

She couldn't help but grin at the excited look on her partner's face. "Fun, huh?" she murmured, squeezing his hand tightly.

"The best," he answered sincerely.

She kissed his knuckles. "It is."

A couple of minutes later, the room was filled with the sound of rapid heartbeats, and Alex closed her eyes. "That's a beautiful sound," she whispered, a lump suddenly forming in the back of her throat.

As always, the sound mesmerized Bobby. A little heart beating within the woman he adored...he couldn't imagine a sweeter sound.

As the gel was spread over her belly, anticipation grew in her, and she began playing with Bobby's fingers. "What do you think about turning that spare room into a nursery?" she asked, tucking her free hand underneath her head.

Distracted, he was caught off guard by her question. "Uh, okay...if you want to."

She grinned. Suddenly an image appeared on the screen, and she couldn't help but stare. "Say hi to your baby, Bobby," she murmured.

He was already watching the screen, his sharp eyes picking out the details of the little person growing in Alex's abdomen. His grip on her hand tightened and he couldn't take his eyes from the screen. Absently, he drew her hand toward his face and pressed his lips to it.

She was also mesmerized by the image, and unconsciously she moved her other hand to the side of her belly. "Our baby," she whispered, and a soft chuckle swept through her.

He was still overwhelmed by the idea, and he guessed he always would be. The idea that love could come together and create something so amazing was one thing he found himself unable to wrap his brain around. He rested his free hand on her thigh, eyes still riveted to the small screen on the machine.

The doctor continued to take measurements and study the baby's heart, kidneys, bladder and spine. When he was through with the things he needed, he asked, "Well, would you guys like to know the baby's gender?"

Alex turned her head and looked at her partner. "Bobby?"

He tipped his head to the left as he studied the monitor. "Um...I would like to wait," he answered.

She was a little disappointed, but she nodded her agreement and squeezed his hand. "Okay, but when we paint the nursery the wrong color, you and Mike get to repaint it."

He kissed her hand. "Deal," he replied.

She turned her hand in his and cupped his chin in her palm, looking thoughtful. Then she rolled her eyes. "When we get done, someone wants chicken... and oranges," she stated, kissing his forehead.

"Whatever baby wants..."

"Exactly." She sat up and looked at the doctor. "Am I free to go?" she asked.

The doctor gently cleaned the goo off her stomach and smiled. "If there are no more questions..." He glanced at Bobby who shook his head with a small smile. "Then I'm done. I'll see you back in a month." He headed out of the room, turning back with a smile. "Enjoy your chicken and oranges."

She grinned. "Thank you. And we will," she assured him as she slid off of the table.

Pulling her shirt over her belly, she slid her hand into her partner's and pulled him to his feet. "Come on, handsome," she said with a wink. "We've got a spare room to work on."

He stepped up behind her and whispered into her ear. "I'd rather work in the other room first."

She giggled and playfully smacked his shoulder as they walked out.

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Carolyn's breath hitched in her chest as they sat in the gallery of the courtroom. Michelle was walked across the floor and to the defendant's table, and unconsciously, Carolyn's hand tightened around Mike's.

Michelle's eyes narrowed as she looked into the gallery and saw Carolyn, along with Bobby and several other people, one of whom seemed particularly cozy with Carolyn. The baby was nowhere in sight, and she reluctantly sat in the chair and rested her elbows on the table.

As Michelle's cold eyes swept over the gallery, Carolyn was inwardly thankful that Mike had suggested they leave their daughter with Angie Deakins. She didn't like the look in Michelle's cruel eyes, and she couldn't settle her nerves, even with Mike right beside her.

"People on bail?" the judge asked.

Patricia Kent replied, "The people request remand, your honor."

Lionel Granger stood up. "We request that Mrs. Benevidez be released on her own recognizance. She is an upstanding member of her community and a devoted, widowed mother of five. She's not a risk to anyone."

Kent stared at him as though he had grown three heads before she turned back to the judge. "Your honor, the defendant beat a former NYPD detective with a bat, kidnapped her daughter, and shot a Major Case detective in cold blood when he attempted to arrest her."

"My client was under extreme emotional duress. She firmly believed that her five sons were in danger-"

"Your honor, Detective Goren was careful to make arrangements for the children to be cared for. If they were in any danger it was from their mother's delusions."

"I am not deluded," Michelle said abruptly, and before Granger could silence her, the judge spoke up.

"Bail is denied," Judge Lancaster stated, and Michelle gave him a wide eyed look, while Granger looked sullen.

Kent turned to give the detectives behind her a brief grin as she gathered her papers together.

As the words finally reached Michelle's ears, she turned her head and looked at the people exiting the aisle. And she snapped. With a growl that seemed to come from the pit of her gut, she lunged at the woman who had taken away everything that was important to her. The attack was anticipated by no one, and satisfaction washed over her as she tackled Carolyn to the hard, unforgiving ground. "You bitch!" she screamed, delighting when she felt something crunch below her from where she sat on top of the other woman.

Bobby and Mike lunged toward the women at the same time as Alex jumped out of their way. They grabbed the screaming woman, pulling her off Carolyn. Once she was clear of the body beneath her, Mike relinquished her to Bobby and dropped to Carolyn's side, shouting for an ambulance to be called. Bobby wrapped an arm around Michelle's waist and wrestled her past the two tables, tumbling to the floor with the struggling woman as the bailiff hurried to his aid.

"Let me go!" Michelle screamed, flailing her legs and fighting against him with all of her strength. "Let me go, you son of a bitch!"

He refused to relinquish his hold, knowing if he did, she would end up harming others. He took her kicks and punches while trying to protect the more sensitive areas of his body.

Alex rushed over to Mike's side, crouching down across from him. "Oh my God," she whispered as a trickle of blood ran from the corner of Carolyn's mouth.

Carolyn had been shocked by the attack, and when Michelle had landed on top of her and she heard the snapping, she knew that her ribs were broken again. The haze was creeping in, and with each breath she took, it was becoming harder and harder to stay conscious.

Mike brushed her hair back from her face. "Hang in there, honey. The paramedics will be here in a few minutes."

She managed to focus her eyes on him, and her breathing grew more shallow. She heard his voice, and as the blood started coming more freely, her panic grew.

"Stay calm, baby. The paramedics are here."

Alex saw the panic in her friend's eyes, and she reached over and squeezed her hand. "Carolyn, calm down," she murmured, gently but firmly. "Just hold on, okay?"

Suddenly Mike disappeared, and although some part of her knew that she was safe, her panic spun out of control and she lost consciousness.

Alex stepped away from Carolyn's side when the paramedics arrived, and she rose to her feet. She saw Bobby sitting on one of the benches, hunched over and breathing heavily, and she quickly made her way to him. "Are you okay?" she demanded, framing his face in her hands.

"She's a vicious...woman," he managed.

She raised her head and watched as several other officers dragged Michelle away, kicking and screaming obscenities. Then she focused on her partner again, gently running her hands over him to check for injuries.

"Careful," he murmured. "Uh...how is Carolyn?"

She shook her head. "It looks like her ribs were snapped again, and one of them might have pierced her lung."

She sat down beside him, satisfied that it seemed he had sustained no serious injuries. Once his breathing was a little easier, she said, "We should get out of here. That... woman is definitely not getting bail now." She spat the word out as though it were a profanity.

He looked around and, satisfied no one was paying any attention to them, he slipped his arm around her waist and squeezed. Then he got to his feet, groaning softly.

She rested her hand on his back, whispering, "Take it easy. Maybe you should go home. I'll go with Mike." She knew the suggestion was most likely in vain, but on the off chance...

"Go home? For a couple of bruises? Give me a break, Eames."

She sighed. "Sorry." She touched his back again, then hurried back over to the group of paramedics that were carefully lifting Carolyn onto a stretcher. "How is she?" she demanded.

One of the paramedics looked at her. "We've got to get her to the hospital now." He turned back to his crew. "Let's move!"

A strong, unsettling sense of deja vu washed over her as she watched a furious and terrified looking Mike follow alongside the stretcher out of the courtroom. Once they had disappeared out of her sight, she fished her keys out of her pocket and took a step forward. "Come on, Goren," she called.

He followed her out of the courtroom.

Halfway to the hospital, Alex risked a glance at her partner's stormy face. "She's going to pay for this, Bobby," she said in a low voice. "She's going to pay."

He shook his head, swallowing his rage. "She's not sane, Alex."

"No, she's..." She groaned softly in understanding. "She's going to go for insanity. Damn it!"

"Exactly."

"No," she growled. "She can't pull a damn stunt like that! She knew exactly what she was doing!" She shook her head furiously.

"It's up to Kent to prove she's lucid. It's out of our hands, thank God. I'm tired of getting injured by that woman."

She continued to shake her head. "This is... this is bullshit!" she growled, gripping the steering wheel as tightly as she could. "Taking that baby and shooting you wasn't enough. She's never going to stop, until Carolyn's dead and she has Kiska."

He got very quiet, turning into himself as he lost himself in thought. "Uh...I need to talk to her."

She managed to keep her grip on the steering wheel. "W-what?" she sputtered angrily. "Bobby, no! That bitch has already tried to kill you once!"

"I need to talk to her," he asserted quietly. "Once she's calmed down."

She didn't know whether it was the hormones or the stress of the entire situation, but tears welled in her eyes. "Damn it, Bobby, what if she tries to do it again? It's not just you and me anymore," she said, her voice dropping in volume.

"It'll be okay, baby. It'll be in a controlled environment and I know what to expect from her. She won't be armed. I'll be okay."

She remained silent until they reached the parking lot of the hospital. Turning off the engine, she turned in her seat and pressed her face into Bobby's shoulder.

He wrapped his arm around her and kissed the side of her head. "It's going to be fine, baby. I promise."

She trembled against him and hugged him tighter. "I swear, Goren," she growled, her voice muffled by the material of his shirt. "If you let her lay a hand on you..." She let the threat go unfinished.

He touched her chin, tipping her face up toward his. Softly, he kissed her. "I'll remember that."

She returned the kiss, then opened the door and slid out of the seat, strolling into the hospital with Bobby trailing behind her. Walking into the emergency room, she quickly spotted Mike, who was pacing and snapping at anyone who approached him. Without a word, she walked up to him and hugged him as much as her swollen belly would allow. "How is she?"

"They won't tell me a damn thing," he growled.

Bobby waved a hand at him. "Hang on," he said with quiet reassurance, tracking down a nurse and talking quietly to her.

Alex studied him carefully, meeting his stormy green eyes with her reassuring hazel ones. "She'll be fine, Mike," she said softly, touching his arm.

"You don't know that," he grumbled.

She nodded. "But I know her. I know that she's strong, and she'll fight. For your daughter... and you."

Bobby approached them. "Calm down, Mike. She's doing okay. They're waiting for x-rays. If the fractured rib is displaced and can't be reduced, they'll have to operate. But either way, she's going to be okay."

Mike glared at him. "How the hell did you get information from her?"

"I didn't threaten her."

Alex quirked an eyebrow at him, then looked around at the activity that seemed to surround the three of them.

Bobby stepped up to her side and lowered his mouth to her ear. "What was that look for?"

"He does tend to get a little... angry," she said quietly. Then she rested her head against Bobby's shoulder and sighed almost imperceptibly.

"You're tired," he observed.

She waved a hand dismissively. "Nothing a soda won't fix. I'm fine."

"Sugar and caffeine...just what you need. Baby, why don't you go home and get some good rest. You're not doing yourself any good getting all worked up here."

"And someone has to keep you two in line."

"What do you think we're going to do? Stop worrying and go home."

"Listen to him, Alex," Mike insisted. "You don't need to be making yourself sick."

She frowned at him and rested her hand on her hip. "What about you two? Last time, you almost ran yourself into the ground, Mike."

"May I point out that I wasn't pregnant."

She looked at him, then at Bobby, and she knew the looks on their faces. She wasn't going to win. Raising her hands in surrender, she rolled her eyes at the two men and said, "Fine, I'll go. But if anything changes..." Her voice trailed off.

Bobby tipped his head to the side, bringing his face close to hers. "I'll call," he promised.

"You'd better." She leaned up and kissed him softly, then turned to Mike. "And don't you exhaust yourself and wind up in a room by hers."

"I'll be fine." He paused in mid-pace. "Say...would you mind doing me a favor?"

"What's that?"

"Would you mind going over to the Deakins' place and picking up Kitkat for me? Take her home with you...you know...keep her safe. I mean, I trust Angie and all, but...well...I just trust you and Bobby more than anyone. If you'll do that for me, I make double sure to keep an eye on him for you."

She smiled, a combination of pride and sorrow in her chest. "Sure, Mike," she said softly, resting a hand on his arm. "I'll watch her for you. Just... take care of yourself."

"Don't worry about me."

"But I do."

He snorted and walked away. "Don't waste your time, sweetheart. Your boyfriend needs that effort."

She shrugged as she kissed Bobby again. "I worry about both of you, whether you like it or not. Can't change that."

He watched her face and rested his hand on her stomach, smiling when the baby kicked at him. "Don't make yourself sick," he whispered in her ear.

She covered his hand and squeezed. "I won't. You two watch each other." She slid her arms around him for another hug, then reluctantly pulled away. "I love you."

He touched her chin with two fingers and leaned in to brush his lips across hers. "I love you, too."

"Hmm... you're making this hard," she complained.

"Don't say that," he teased, eyes bright.

She chuckled and playfully poked him. "Knock it off." Turning her head, she looked at Mike, and her forehead wrinkled with worry. "I'll call you in a little while, Mike, and let you talk to her, okay?"

"Yeah, sure. I could do with a little 'Da'.''

She smiled widely. "I'm sure you could. And I'm sure that she'd love just to hear your voice."

Bobby had moved off, partway down the corridor.

She pulled Mike into a brief hug, squeezing him before she let go. "Behave yourself, or Carolyn will kick your ass when she wakes up."

"What am I gonna do in an emergency room?"

She thought for a moment. "I don't know, but I've learned to never underestimate you boys."

He groaned and rolled his eyes. "I'll tell you what I'll be doing...chasing him...he's like a kid in a toy store."

She laughed a little. "Probably."

"I'm not joking. He's gone."

She looked around, her mouth dropping a little. "What the...?"

"Like I said..."

"I swear, if he's touching or sniffing anything..."

"You sure you want two of him?"

"Hey, I can handle a little one. Just give them a toy," she laughed.

"Your partner's the same way. His toys are just a little more complicated than a rattle or a rubber duck."

She sighed and rubbed her temple. "Sometimes I wish they weren't."

"No, you don't. If you don't keep that mind stimulated, he'll get into trouble."

"Unfortunately, that is very true."

"I almost don't want to go find him."

"Well, just follow the shouts if someone starts yelling at someone for touching things."

"I'm not sure I want to know. Can I pretend I don't know him?"

"It doesn't work."

"You gotta try harder."

She rolled her eyes and looked around the room again. "Where could he have gotten to?"

"If I'm not mistaken, he went around the corner there...toward the ambulance bays."

She looked around the corner. "What could be over there?"

Mike poked his head around and looked over hers. "Oh, this can't be good. Where'd he go? He's not a little guy, Alex...why's it so damn easy to lose him?"

"I've been asking myself that for what, eight years now?"

"Here he comes...ah, man...please, please...tell me that isn't blood on his shirt."

She spun around, her face draining of color.

Bobby approached them, his face a dark frown, fresh blood smeared across the front and both sleeves of his white shirt.

His badge was now clipped to his belt and he was drying his hands on a blue surgical towel.

She felt lightheaded, and she reached out and grabbed Mike's arm for support.

Mike shook his head at his friend. "We can't friggin' take you anywhere, can we?"

With a clean, dry hand and a frown that had turned worried, he touched Alex's shoulder. "Are you okay?"

She looked up at him, trying to fight off the wave of vertigo that swept over her. "W-what happened?"

"Um, an ambulance came in. I was...helping."

She let out a breath she didn't know she'd been holding, but as she did, her knees buckled.

He caught her easily, gently supporting her as he led her to a chair and eased her into it. "Alex?"

She leaned forward and rested her elbows on her knees, breathing deeply. "You're... going to be the death of me, Goren," she whispered, reaching out and gripping his hand tightly.

He closed his eyes. "Don't say that," he answered.

She took another breath and turned slightly, burying herself in his arms. "Scare me like that again, and I'll make sure you wind up in here, and not to touch or sniff anything."

"I-I didn't mean to scare you," he protested, gently kissing her head.

She allowed him to hold her for a few more moments before slowly pulling away. "I know you don't."

He studied her with a critical eye that knew her well, and he debated whether or not he should tell them what he'd discovered. Stepping away from her side, certain she was all right, he began to pace nervously.

She watched him pace nervously, and it unsettled her. "Bobby?"

He hesitated, turning to look at her. "Uh...yes?"

"What's wrong?"

"Wrong? Uh...wh-why do you ask that?"

She eyed him critically. "I know you," was all she said.

"I-I'm fine," he insisted.

She stood up and walked over to him, catching his face between her hands. "Bobby, what aren't you telling me?" she asked quietly, her hazel eyes searching his troubled dark ones.

For the first time in a long time, he pulled away from her. Shoving a hand into his pocket he clamped the other one on the back of his neck and slowly paced the small hallway.

Mike watched the entire thing, and he started to get nervous. "What's going on?"

Bobby just waved a hand, continued pacing and remained silent.

Frustration was growing, and Alex looked from Bobby to Mike.

Finally she stepped in front of him, resting one hand on his chest. "Bobby, as much as some people like to believe, I'm not a mind reader. You need to tell us what's going on."

He looked at the floor. "That's not as easy as it sounds," he murmured.

"How about I'm gonna punch your friggin' lights out if you don't start talking? Does that help?" Mike growled.

"Mike!" Alex snapped.

He held out his hands. "Just trying to help."

She glared at him, then at Bobby. "Goren, I am tired of this. Either talk to me now, or I'm leaving, and I'll find out later."

He glanced at her, a mild panic flittering across his face, quickly suppressed. He returned his eyes to the floor and searched for the right words.

"Uhm...where is Kiska?"

"At the Deakins. Why?"

"Leave her there. She's safe."

Mike grabbed the front of Bobby's bloody shirt, his other hand balled into a fist. "Why wouldn't she be safe with me?"

"Because _you're_ not safe...and neither am I."

Mike released him and stepped back. "What the hell are you talking about?"

"The ambulance...the one I helped with...was one of the prison guards escorting her back to Rikers. Sh-she grabbed his gun, shot him point blank, shot his partner, and took off. She's out there, she's armed, and we have to find her."

Mike staggered back two steps into the opposite wall. "Aw...fuck..."

"Carolyn's safe here. But you and me...she found out that you were the one who helped me take the baby back. So in her twisted mind, you and I took her baby away from her, and she's gunning for us."

Paralyzing fear washed over Alex, and she pressed her fist to her mouth. "S-she's going to try to kill you..."

Bobby looked at her, his eyes bright with remorse. "Yes."

She took a step forward and wrapped her arms tightly around him. "You... you two can't go after her. Someone else has to go. Not you and Mike."

"Alex..." he murmured into her hair. "There is no choice. It's ours. I already talked to Ross. He's not happy, but she was my arrest. We have to go after her."

"And what if something happens to either of you?" Her grip on him tightened.

"Alex...baby...that's the nature of the job. You know that. It's a scenario we face every day. But we're not planning to let her do any more damage."

She sighed and held onto him for a few more moments. He was right, it was the nature of their job. There were risks. She slowly pulled away, wiping furiously at the tears that had escaped. "When?"

"Now," he whispered.

She felt her breath hitch in her chest, and she spared a glance at Mike before returning her attention to Bobby. "This..." She struggled for words. "This isn't right." Her eyes darkened as another realization hit her. "What am I going to tell Carolyn when she wakes up?"

"The truth, if you think she can take it."

She took a step back, shaking her head. "W-where do you think she is?"

"I think she'll start at Mike's."

She bit her lip. "What if she figures it out?" Then she turned to Mike and said, "Is there anything in your apartment that has the Deakins' address?"

"Aw, fuck! On my desk...!"

Bobby ran a hand over his hair. "We need to get over there now. We can get her back into custody if we get there in time."

Alex swallowed thickly and nodded. "Go. I'll call Angie and let her know you're on the way."

Bobby gave her a quick kiss and hurried down the hall after Mike, who looked over his shoulder and said, "At least you have the right friggin' backup this time."

"Just move," Bobby snapped, giving his shoulder a gentle shove.

She watched them leave, and once they were out of sight, she walked outside and pulled her cell phone out. "Angie? Hi, it's Alex. Look, something's happened..."

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Michelle smirked in triumph as the lock pick easily opened the door, and she put the tools away before pushing the door open and stepping inside. Immediately she could see signs of her daughter's presence. Toys littered the floor, a playpen sat in the corner of the room, and pictures adorned almost every inch of the walls.

She walked through the living room and into the kitchen, pausing when the brightly decorated surface of the refrigerator caught her eye. She stopped and stared at the surface, and her hand reached out to pluck pictures of the baby off of the doors of the refrigerator.

Tucking the pictures into her purse, she frowned deeply at the one picture that remained in her hand. Nicole's happy little face stared at her, but holding her was a man who was giving a grin to the camera. Turning it over in her hand, she read the writing that was scrawled across the back.

_Daddy's Little Girl,_ it read, and fury broiled inside of Michelle. With a furious growl, she ripped the picture in half and threw it onto the ground before walking over to the drainer that sat beside the sink. Muttering angrily, she picked up the clean bottles and set them on the counter. Then she walked out of the kitchen and headed down the hall, into the only bedroom.

Not even bothering to stop long enough to look around, she grabbed a diaper bag and filled it with diapers and little outfits. Then she carried the bag back into the kitchen and shoved the bottles, rings and nipples, cans of formula, and several little jars of baby food into the diaper bag.

As she continued the task, she realized that there was still blood on her, and she calmly paused mid-task and walked over to the sink. Turning on the water, she picked up a bottle of dish soap and scrubbed her hands, watching as the blood swirled with the water and disappeared down the drain.

When all traces of the blood had disappeared down the drain, she dried her hands, then walked out of the kitchen and began looking around for signs of where Nicole might be.

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Angie Deakins hung up the phone with shaking hands, then looked at her three daughters, who were playing with little Kiska.

The oldest, Emily, raised her head and looked at their mother with questioning eyes. "What's wrong, Mom?" she asked, and Angie forced a smile to her lips.

"Girls, I just got a phone call, and I don't want to scare you, but we need to go to my bedroom. Emily, get the baby," she said, picking up Kiska's diaper bag.

Emily rose to her feet and cradled the baby to her chest, waiting until the younger girls were out of earshot before she said, "Mom, what's really going on? Is Dad okay?"

Angie nodded. "He's fine. But you remember the woman Bobby arrested? The one who kidnapped Kiska?"

Emily nodded.

"She injured several guards and escaped. They think that she might know where the baby is, but they're not sure. We just want to be safe, okay, honey?"

Emily nodded again and didn't press for more details.

Angie gently pushed her daughter in the direction of her bedroom, then looked at the front door. "Please, let them be wrong," she whispered, following her daughters into her bedroom.

TBC...

A/N: Poor Carolyn. She really ought to be more careful, shouldn't she? (evil laugh) Yes, I know, evil cliffie. Very evil! (ducks flaming left shoes and sporks.) Thanks again for reading, and like I said, we've got another six chapters or so already done. So review! Later, ducklings!


	9. Face Of Evil

Wow, lots of reviews for the last chapter! Ya'll are awesome! Well, here's the update, and I'll warn ya'll beforehand: there is a cliffie! (hides under sink) Enjoy, and please remember to review!

Disclaimer: See previous chapters, cause I'm getting bored saying it.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

After a brief argument over who was going to drive, the two men were heading toward the Deakins' home as fast as they could get through traffic.

The wheels of the car squealed as Bobby turned into the driveway and slammed it to a screeching halt. Mike was out of the car before it came to a full stop. Bobby was right behind him by the time he pounded on the door. "Calm down," Bobby said as he grabbed Mike's arm. "You're going to scare the girls."

Mike held himself back with difficulty as he knocked again.

Angie heard a knock on the front door, and she looked at the girls and said, "Stay right here, and don't make a sound until I come back."

The girls nodded, and Angie walked out of the room and down the hall, her heart pounding louder and louder until she reached the door. Warily, she peered through the peephole, sighing in relief when she recognized the men standing outside. Opening the door, she motioned for them to step inside the house.

Mike was through the door, eyes scanning the room before the door was fully open. "Is she here?"

Bobby grinned at Angie. "Got any sedatives?"

"One." She looked down the hall and called, "Emily, bring her out here." The oldest Deakins daughter appeared in the living room, with Kiska in her arms.

Mike struggled to be gentle as he took his daughter from Emily, remembering to give the young woman a smile.

Kiska laughed happily at the sight of her father. "Da!"

He hugged her and she let out another happy squeal when she saw Bobby. "UmBa!"

He moved closer and touched her hand. "Hey, Cubby."

Keeping his voice even and calm, Bobby asked Angie, "Has anyone else been here?"

Angie shook her head. "No. The girls and I have been in the bedroom since Alex called me."

"Take the baby and go on back there. Do not come out, no matter what you hear, until Mike or I come to get you. No matter what, Angie."

She nodded and gave her daughter a gentle push in the direction of the bedroom. Then she gently took the baby away from Mike, not missing the fear and heartbroken look in his eyes. She hugged the little girl close and laid her hand on Bobby's shoulder, then Mike's. "Be careful, you two."

"We'll do the best we can," Bobby promised.

"You do that." She touched their shoulders again, then turned and headed back to the bedroom.

The two men looked at each other. "Now what?" Mike asked.

"Now, we wait."

"You gotta be kidding me."

"I don't like waiting any more than you do."

With a deep sigh of frustration, Mike dropped down onto the couch. Silently, Bobby sat beside him and they waited.

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It didn't take long for Michelle to find the address she had discovered, and she smiled when she noticed only one solitary car sitting in front. Carefully she parked the car, then made sure everything was ready before climbing out of the car. As she walked up the driveway and approached the door, she tucked the gun away in her jacket. Silently, she looked around at her surroundings before peering into a window. She noticed a playpen in the corner of the room, and she smiled.

She turned the brass doorknob, and when it wouldn't budge, she knelt down and quickly picked the lock. Then she stood up again and slowly pushed the door open.

As the door creeped open, both men tensed, but neither moved. Hands on their weapons, they watched tensely.

Michelle walked into the dark house, her eyes easily adjusting to the dark.

Out of the darkness came a soft, familiar voice. "Hello, Michelle."

Michelle froze and turned her head in the direction of the voice. She knew that voice. "Hello, _Bobby_. Where is my daughter?"

"You don't have a daughter, Michelle."

She reached behind herself and flipped a switch, flooding the room with light. "Yes, I do. And I want you to tell me where she is."

He rose from the couch and faced her. Brow furrowed, he quietly said, "You _shot_ me. What were you thinking?"

She touched her chin thoughtfully. "I suppose you could say that I was thinking you would die."

"Was it worth it? You lost your sons and you're going to jail."

"Oh, I don't plan on going to jail. And I know C.J. will take care of his brothers."

"Do you think for one moment that my partner and I are going to let you leave this house, with or without Kiska, a free woman? You assaulted and tried to kill a police officer. You assaulted a former cop and kidnapped a baby. Those are serious allegations."

She looked around Bobby, to where Mike was sitting. "Hmm, I see you brought a friend." Crossing her arms over her chest, she said, "I've tried reasoning with you, and bargaining with you. Nothing works. So I guess I'll just have to take the baby, today."

Attempting to distract her, he said, "You do realize the boys will be placed in foster care, probably in separate homes. The authorities will not give C.J. custody of his brothers."

She shook her head. "Not true. C.J. is twenty, and he'll get custody of the boys until I can take them back to North Carolina."

He shook his head. "I talked to the police down there. The boys have already been placed in foster homes, and C.J. is on his own."

Her eyes narrowed. "Now that wasn't very nice," she hissed. "And believe me, I'll be rectifying that soon enough."

Mike stepped up to Bobby's side. "What planet are you from, lady? The best bet you had for a fair deal is my partner here and you shot him. I told him I'd give him a shot at talking to you, but we're done now." He held out his cuffs. "You're under arrest, you crazy bitch."

She smiled coldly at him. "I'd like to see you try," she snarled, pulling her gun from her jacket.

"Oh, geez," Mike growled as he went for his own weapon. "Here we go again."

Bobby placed his hand on the butt of his own gun, but did not draw. He held out a hand. "This can't go well for you, Michelle. Don't try it."

She took a half step back from the men, one hand running through her hair as the other tightened around the gun. "By the way, how is she?" she asked coolly.

Bobby shook his head as Mike answered, "What makes you think we're going to give you any information? All you need to know is that we got here and sent her somewhere else."

Out of the side of his mouth, Bobby hissed, "Don't antagonize..."

She shook her head and smiled slyly. "Not my Nikki. I meant your precious Carolyn."

"Same deal, nutcase. No information."

Bobby groaned. He was half-tempted to smack Mike. He was going to trigger another rage if he continued the way he was going.

She shrugged indifferently. "Fine. Be that way." A smug smile appeared on her face, and she leaned a little closer. "Do you have any idea how good it felt when I threw her down and heard those fragile little ribs snap?" She shivered in delight.

Mike swallowed his rage and did not take the bait. He nudged Bobby with an exaggerated motion and said, "How screwed up is that? What kind of person delights in causing that much pain for a person she used to call friend?"

Bobby closed his eyes briefly, wishing Mike would just be quiet. "Stop it," he hissed under his breath. "Trust me...she's not stable.."

She focused her cold eyes on Mike. "And don't think I don't know who you are, Detective Logan."

Mike barked a bitter laugh. "Wow, Bobby. I'm famous."

"Hardly. Carolyn couldn't keep her mouth shut about you."

He grinned. "Yeah, well, I think she's pretty fine, too."

Bobby elbowed him. He shot an annoyed glance his way. "What?" he hissed.

"Shut up," Bobby growled back. This was going to go south quickly if Mike didn't shut up.

Her eyes narrowed again. "I don't know what she saw in you." She shrugged. "One woman's treasure is another's trash."

Mike bristled and Bobby's hand shot out to grab his wrist. "No," he growled, stepping forward to regain control of the situation. "This isn't about him or Carolyn," he said, eyes steady on her face. "This is about you, Michelle."

"Not only me, Bobby. My daughter too. My husband would have wanted me to take care of her."

"You mean your brother," he said softly.

"My husband," she snapped. She turned cold eyes on Mike again. "I don't know what she told you, but Nicole is my husband's, and mine."

"That's not what genetics showed," Mike snarled. "Actually, there was a chance she could have been Bobby's..."

Bobby groaned, making a mental note to smack Mike once they were clear of this situation.

She placed a hand on her hip. "Genetics don't prove anything. My husband was unfaithful to me with Carolyn, but I got that baby. I was there when she was born. I helped take care of her. She's mine."

"Watching another woman give birth doesn't make you that baby's mother," Bobby said quietly.

"But taking care of her, and technically being her 'stepmother', does."

He rubbed the back of his neck, feigning a puzzled expression. "Stepmother? Uh...how do you figure that?"

She rolled her eyes. "Don't you get it? She's my husband's."

"No, Michelle. She's not. She's Mike's."

Her hand tightened on the gun as she shook her head. "No, she's not."

He raised his hand, effectively taking his left hand away from his weapon. "I'm not going to try to change your mind or debate the issue. But you're going back to jail, Michelle. You tried to kill a cop."

"And I obviously screwed up, seeing as how you're still breathing."

He rubbed the back of his neck again and decided it was time to jump out of the frying pan into the fire. "Your boys...uh, they aren't yours either."

She laughed harshly. "Now that's just a lie."

"Most people collect refrigerator magnets or knick knacks," Mike snapped. "You collect other people's children."

Her hand itched to pull the trigger, but she steadied herself. "Bullshit."

"We've done our homework, Michelle. The authorities are right now working to send those boys back to their rightful homes."

Bobby was increasingly nervous about the gun in her hand, knowing firsthand how quickly things could escalate. "You need to put the gun down, Michelle. I really don't want anyone to get hurt."

"Right. Sorry, but I'm not putting it down."

"Michelle..." he began softly, trying to make contact with a mind that he sensed was beyond his reach. How familiar that scenario was...

She took a step backwards, away from the men.

Bobby let her go, holding out his arm to stop Mike from advancing on her, something she would definitely see as a threat.

A soft cry from the back of the house caught her attention, and she immediately recognized the cry as Nicole's. Suddenly the men were gone from her mind, and she stepped around them and toward the baby's cry.

Bobby saw his opportunity and took full advantage of her distraction. Stepping toward her, he deftly knocked the gun from her hand and kicked it clear.

His touched sent her over, and she dove for the gun that had flown out of her hand.

He caught her, grabbing her waist with his right arm as Mike shoved his gun into its holster and came forward to help.

When his arm went around her waist, she was cornered. With a growl born of hatred, she reached into her jacket and pulled a second gun out of a pocket. Then she shoved the barrel against his chest.

Mike snaked his arm around her neck and yanked as she pulled the trigger. Bobby was knocked backwards from the impact of the bullet as Mike wrestled Michelle to the ground. Bobby scrambled back to his aid, getting the gun free after she fired once more. After a few minutes, they had her subdued and cuffed. Mike sat on her back, pinning her to the floor. "You okay, man?"

Bobby nodded. "Just bruised. It would have been a lot worse if you hadn't grabbed her and changed the angle of trajectory. Thanks, Mike."

"That's how partners are supposed to work," Mike replied with a grin.

Bobby opened his vest and pulled out his phone, calling for a marked car to swing by to take Michelle in. He dropped to a knee near her head and quietly said, "It didn't have to be this way, Michelle."

"Get the hell away from me," she snarled, snapping her head away from him.

Mike nodded at him. "Let's see. Open your shirt."

Bobby unbuttoned his shirt and revealed a purpling bruise where the bullet had struck his vest. He sighed. "Alex is going to kill me."

Mike sighed. "I wouldn't put her in a room alone with this loon for any length of time. Look and see if that marked is here yet."

Bobby went to the front door, returning shortly with two uniformed officers. They took Michelle into custody. Mike glared at her. "Stay away from _my_ daughter," he snarled.

"Fuck you," she growled back.

He smiled. "No thanks."

She turned her head and glared at him as they pulled her away. "She's mine, and I'm never going to give up!"

Bobby shook his head. "You've screwed yourself over, Michelle."

She just shook her head, and a seductive grin appeared again. "Don't worry, Bobby," she cooed. "We'll be seeing each other again."

He nodded, a sad smile touching his face. "At your trial."

She smiled at him again before letting the other officers lead her out of the house.

Mike shook his head as Bobby headed toward the back bedroom. "How does someone get that messed up?"

"It happens," he replied. Softly he knocked on the bedroom door. "Angie?"

The door slowly opened, and Angie peered through the crack before opening the door completely. A relieved look appeared on her face, and she looked him up and down, concerned. "Are you all right, Bobby?"

He nodded. "I'm okay. You and the girls can come out."

She sighed, relieved, before turning her head. "Come on, girls. Em, bring Kiska."

The youngest of the girls stopped in front of him and looked up into his face as he buttoned his shirt back up. He gave her a soft smile and touched her cheek. She stepped up to him and hugged him. Surprised, he returned the hug. Stepping away, she headed toward the living room. He pulled out his phone as he followed her and called Alex.

Alex was sitting in the waiting room, twisting her hands in her lap as she contemplated the news she had just received. Suddenly her phone began ringing, and she looked at the caller ID before walking outside. _Bobby?_

"Hey, baby," he said quietly.

_Are you two okay?_

"Yes. We're okay."

She let out a relieved breath. _Good._

He was going to get enough grief when she saw his chest. "How is everything there?"

She closed her eyes and leaned back against a concrete pillar, quiet for a few moments before finally speaking. _I talked with the doctors. How soon can you two get back here?_

"What's wrong?"

She let out a trembling breath. _Just... come back to the hospital. Carolyn will be out of surgery soon, and Mike should be there._

"We'll be there soon."

He slipped the phone back into his pocket and went into the living room with everyone else. Leaning over Mike's shoulder he gave Kiska a kiss. "We've got to go," he muttered to Mike.

Reluctantly, he gave his daughter a kiss and handed her back to Emily. He looked at Angie. "Are you sure you don't mind?"

She nodded. "It's no problem, dear. Carolyn needs you right now." Then she turned to Bobby and said, "And you make sure Alex gets plenty of rest."

"I do my best," he answered.

She smiled and drew him into a hug. Then she did the same with Mike before saying, "I'm glad you two are okay."

"You and me both," Mike replied. "I would have had to face Alex."

She laughed softly.

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Alex was sitting on one of the hard waiting room chairs, her elbows on her knees and her head resting on her hand. Finally she saw her partner walk through the doors, and she sighed quietly.

He approached her and leaned to the side to catch her eye. "What's going on?"

She looked beyond him at Mike. "You two need to sit down."

The two men looked at each other for a moment before sitting down on either side of her.

_How the hell do I tell them this?_ she thought as they sat down by her. _What the hell was that doctor thinking, telling me?_ She reached out and gently touched Mike's leg. "Carolyn's doctor came out here and talked to me, since you weren't here."

"Is she okay?"

"They seem to think... she'll be fine. But Mike..." She paused and fought the hot tears in her eyes. "Did you know she was pregnant?"

His mind drew a blank and he stared at her. "P-pregnant?"

She nodded slowly. "I'm sorry, Mike. They said they did everything they could."

"Sorry?"

Bobby got up and walked off as Mike struggled to wrap his mind around what Alex was trying to tell him.

"They said that because of the damage that was caused when Carolyn's ribs collapsed..." Her voice trailed off, and she pressed her fist against her mouth.

Slowly, the realization of what she said sank in and he saw red. "I'm going to kill that bitch," he growled.

Alex looked over her shoulder for support from her partner.

Mike pointed a finger at her. "You can come along if you want, sweetheart. She shot him again."

She froze, then pushed herself out of her chair and walked over to her partner. With furious, trembling hands, she pushed his shirt up, inhaling sharply when she saw the developing bruise that covered his chest. "Bobby..."

He shot a glare in Mike's direction before gently grasping her wrists and softly saying, "I'm okay."

She pulled her hands away and wrapped her arms tightly around his waist. "Damn it, Goren. I told you not to let her touch you!" More tears threatened to fall, and she buried her face in his shoulder.

He folded her in his arms and held her against him. "She didn't really touch me, baby. I was vested, and Mike grabbed her before she could pull the trigger point blank at my chest."

She held onto him tighter. "You scared me," she muttered, her voice muffled by his shirt. Finally she pulled away, then turned around and looked at Mike.

He released her and turned away, struggling to come to terms with what Michelle had done to Carolyn.

She could see the pain and loss reflecting clearly in his troubled green eyes, and she paused before slowly stepping into his embrace. "I'm so sorry, Mike."

"I...I need...She'll be out for a while. I...I need a drink or two." He looked around. "Uh, where'd he go?"

She looked around, then sighed. "I don't know where he went."

Mike rubbed his temple. "God, he's hard to keep track of."

She nodded and sat back down in the chair wearily.

"Fed up?"

She shook her head. "More like exhausted."

He sat beside her. "I wish he would have let me shoot her."

She leaned over and rested her elbows on her knees. "Would that have done any good, Mike?" she asked, running her fingers through her hair.

"It would have kept her from hurting anyone else. She wouldn't have shot him again, either."

"Would it have made any of this right?" She turned her head and looked at him sadly. "It would've taken you away from the child you have."

"Alex, she was armed and threatening the father of that kid you have there. And she threatened him again when they took her away. She's got it in for him, honey."

She leaned back in the chair, her hand settling on her stomach. "But now... now they know what to expect. She's never getting out, Mike. They'll see through anything the defense pulls out of their ass."

"I hope you're right. Uh, I'm gonna go down the street for a little while. I'll be back. If your boyfriend turns up, send him my way."

She took a deep breath, rubbing her stomach slowly. "As soon as I find him, I'm going home. This baby has been kicking me all day, not to mention making me nauseous."

He leaned over and kissed her cheek "Sleep well then. Tell him I'll talk to him tomorrow. He still owes me a couple of beers, you know."

"I know." She reached over and squeezed his hand. "Don't have too much. It shouldn't be more than a couple of hours before Carolyn comes out of surgery."

"I'll be fine." He headed out of the area toward the nearest exit.

Alex watched Mike go, then settled back in the chair to wait for her partner to reappear.

It wasn't Bobby who showed up a few minutes later, though. It was Mike, and he looked deeply troubled.

She raised her head and looked at him, worried. "Mike? What's wrong?"

"Um, how stupid is Bobby?"

"Why?" She stood up and grabbed his arm. "Where is he, Mike?"

"I don't know, but the SUV is gone."

Realization washed over her, and she brushed past him, digging her own keys out of her pocket.

He ran after her. "I'm going with you," he insisted.

"Fine."

"Please tell me he didn't go where I think he did."

"If I know him, he did."

"No..."

Her lip trembled, but she steeled herself and quickly walked out of the hospital, then climbed into the driver's seat of her car.

Mike slid into the passenger seat beside her. "She's gonna hurt him," he muttered. "He has a habit of underestimating this one."

"I figured," she muttered, shoving the key into the ignition and sending the engine roaring to life.

"Talk to me, Alex."

"He's a complete idiot, Mike! What else is there to say? She's already shot him twice, and damned if he isn't going back a third time!"

"She's at Riker's. It's not likely she'll have a gun on her this time."

That fact did soothe her a little, but she was still furious with him. Gripping the steering wheel, she focused on the road and traffic in front of her as she said, "How's the baby?"

"Fine. She was happy to see us. Angie and the girls are taking good care of her."

She nodded. "Good. I'm glad."

"How's that little tyke doing?"

A small smile touched her lips. "Fine, but she's definitely her daddy's child. Driving me crazy already."

He smiled. "We're doomed then, sweetheart. He drives us both nuts."

Her smile grew larger. "He does."

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Bobby paced the interview room at Rikers as he waited for them to bring Michelle out to see him. It had taken him most of the drive to settle himself down and get a handle on his fury, but he was still far from calm.

The door clanged open and they led her into the room. He studied her as she sat in the chair and they uncuffed her.

Michelle sat down calmly, studying him with cold eyes. "What do you want?"

He studied her, projecting a greater calm than he felt. He pressed a hand against his forehead. "I'm trying to figure you out...to understand how you can harbor so much hate."

He continued to pace, unable to settle himself. "How does it feel...to be able to take a life, or even to try to take a life, without feeling any remorse for it?"

She leaned back in the chair. "I don't know why you even try. I don't want you around me. But then again... maybe you like that." She rested her elbows on the table. "I didn't kill anyone."

She wanted to play things that way...all right...he was game. He'd made up his mind not to tell her about the unborn baby whose life she took...not just yet. He grabbed a chair, spun it around and straddled it. Leaning forward to face her, he replied, "Maybe I do like it."

She shrugged a little. "I don't think I care."

"I think you do."

She let out a cold laugh. "Right. Big, bad famous detective knows exactly what everyone thinks."

"Prove me wrong. Why did you challenge me?"

"Challenge you to what?"

He propped his head on a hand. "To figure you out. What drives that hatred, Michelle? And are you really so delusional that you believe DNA evidence proves nothing...that wanting...and desire...is justification enough to get you what you want?"

"Why are you so obsessed with 'figuring me out'? There is nothing there to figure out."

He shrugged. "It's what I do."

"Oh, I know about what you do. After our first 'encounter', I did a little research on you. And I can tell you right now, you're wasting your time."

He sat back and raised his hands. "It's my time to waste. I would like to know why you tried to kill me."

"I had my reasons, and they're mine to keep."

"You don't readily share...anything, do you?"

"No."

"Have you ever tried...to explain anything...even to yourself?"

"Why would I need to explain anything?"

"To understand...why you have so much hatred inside...why you have such an obsessive need to possess something that was never yours to start with."

"Obsessive need?" She shook her head. "No, I was content with my life before that... whore tore my family apart!"

"Were you? Have you ever really been content, Michelle? Why did you take four boys from their homes and pretend they were yours?"

"Because they weren't cared about. I wanted them, and their parents didn't."

"And Kiska? What's your excuse for taking her? She was always cared about, always loved and wanted."

She leaned forward. "Now that's where you're wrong. Did your precious Carolyn tell you she planned on giving her up?"

"Yes, she did. And ultimately, she couldn't do it."

"But the fact that she even considered it proved my point."

He frowned. "A lot of women go through uncertainty. Are you some avenging angel who plans to swoop down and steal all those children from loving parents who once had doubts? Do you have some bizarre claim to my child because I had questions about ever having one?"

"No. I just took children who needed love and took care of them. I saw the way she acted the first two months of Nicole's life. I love Nicole, and she's mine."

He shook his head. "That's where you're wrong. She's not yours and she never was. Not every woman takes readily to motherhood, particularly when it's unexpected. That judgment is not yours to make. You can't just take a child because you want her. It doesn't work that way."

"She is mine. One of your brothers in blue murdered my husband! That little girl was his!"

"You're defending a rapist! And no, she is not his."

"He didn't rape her!"

"What the hell do you call it? A man forcing himself on an unwilling woman is the definition of rape!"

She gripped the table and hissed, "He didn't rape her! It was consensual, and it was the only time he was ever unfaithful to me!"

"And how do you explain the woman he raped right before he was killed?"

She shook her head. "I wouldn't know about it, because he was taken away from me and my children!"

"He was a serial rapist, Michelle."

Her eyes narrowed in anger. "No, he wasn't. He was a good man who loved me and our children!"

"I guess he 'loved' a lot of women."

She lunged across the table at him, but strong arms grabbed her and held her back. "You bastard!" she screeched. "Son of a bitch!"

"I did my homework, too, Michelle. How do you explain the fact that he'd had a vasectomy?"

She fought against the other officers, screaming curses at him at the top of her lungs.

He waved the guards off. "Come on, Michelle," he challenged. "Make me understand."

They released her, and she breathed heavily for a moment. When the haze finally disappeared, she fell limply into the chair. "Take me back to the cell," she hissed. Then she looked at Bobby again. "Go to hell."

"I've been there," he answered. "It's overrated."

She sent him a scathing glare before snarling, "I said, take me back to my damn cell!"

"You really have no clue, do you? You have no idea why you're so filled with hate, or why you tried to kill me. It was your hatred that destroyed your family, and got your boys taken away to be returned to their parents."

"What do you want me to say? My mother abandoned me, or my father sexually abused me? What would pacify you?"

He leaned over, bringing his face close to hers. "I just want you to tell me why," he murmured softly.

She shook her head. "There's nothing to tell. I know that that baby's mine, but you refuse to accept that as a reason. Those boys are mine, and so is Nikki. My husband was a good family man who loved all of us, but again you try and refute that."

"It's not a matter of accepting or rejecting anything. It's a matter of evidence. I'm not talking off the cuff here. Everything I've told you is based on fact backed by evidence."

"And you think I'll just cave in the face of science? Well, screw science."

"Defense attorneys would agree with that sentiment. But the law backs it. You are looking at spending a long time behind these bars, Michelle."

"That's nothing compared to what I've been through."

"I'm sorry for that, but a rough life is not an excuse for becoming a criminal."

"I'm not using it as a damn excuse. In a way, prison will be a... reprieve."

He looked thoughtful for a moment. "I...understand that."

She scoffed. "Sure you do."

"I do. My, uh, my mother was schizophrenic and my father was abusive. It would have been an easy matter for me to turn to crime, to become abusive...but I didn't. I...rose above my past. Circumstances led me down a different path. I do understand...better than you know."

"I don't want you to try and pity me, or sympathize. I don't need that. I did what I did, and that's just all there is to it."

He shook his head. "No. No pity and no sympathy. I never wanted that, either. I just...understand."

"Fine. You understand." She waved a hand in the air.

He shook his head and straddled the chair again. "Sometimes... it's hard to make lemonade. Sometimes, all we have is the lemons. I got lucky."

"Yeah, whatever."

"You're very angry and bitter."

"Really? I had no idea."

His face relaxed into an amused smile. "I can tell," he smirked.

"And I can tell you're desperate to explain anything that doesn't make sense to you."

"It's a character flaw," he admitted.

"More like a desperation."

He nodded. "Sometimes. My partner calls it a driving passion."

She shifted tactics. "She's lovely," she purred, with malice lacing her voice.

He raised an eyebrow. "My partner?"

"I assume that's who she was. The blond, pregnant woman with you at the bail hearing?"

He nodded. "Yes. That's her."

She sat back in the chair, a smug look on her face.

He still looked amused. "What are you thinking?" he asked, curious.

"Ever wonder where my son is?"

"I presumed he'd come to visit you."

"Yes. He is here in New York."

"It's good you have support here."

She leaned forward in the chair. "He's not just here to support me, in so many words."

He frowned. "Wh-what is that supposed to mean?"

"I mean, C.J. is a very good boy. Very attuned to my attitudes, and always eager to please."

"Y-you raised him to be a criminal?"

She shrugged. "Never said that. But right now, let's just say he's none too pleased about you and your _friends_ breaking up our family."

He raised an eyebrow. "I didn't break your family up. If you hadn't assaulted Carolyn and kidnapped Kiska I would never have become involved. Your family would still be intact."

"That's not the way my boy sees it. He didn't like you from the second he saw you in our home, and now... now that dislike has bloomed into something else."

"Are...are you threatening me?"

"You?" She feigned surprise. "No."

"Let's just drop the bullshit, Michelle. What are you saying?"

"I'm not saying anything. Besides... it's not as though I could do anything..."

"If you talk to your son...let him know...it's not worth it. He'll end up in prison, like you...or dead...like his father. I don't want to be responsible for that."

"My boys have always had minds of their own. Strong willed young men, with resources and their father's determination."

"And you don't give a damn what happens to him..."

"I can't control my boy, or his actions."

His eyes narrowed. "Then I won't be responsible for what happens to him. It would be...unfortunate if you had to bury your son."

She leaned forward. "And it would be unfortunate for you if you had to bury your pregnant whore."

_Alex_... "What does she have to do with any of this?"

"Very much. I wouldn't put it past my boy to... lash out."

"He can lash out at me then...try to finish what you failed to do."

A smile curved her lips. "But how better to hurt you than to take away the only person who ever truly loved and understood you?"

"How...how do you know that?"

"Like I said, research. Schizophrenic mother, gambling brother. Womanizing, indifferent father. Or did she even know which one it was? The drunk, or the serial rapist and killer?" She leaned forward. "What is your girlfriend's last name going to be? Goren, or Brady?"

He glared at her, refusing to take the bait. "Um, neither, actually."

"Really? So there was another... sperm donor in question?"

"Maybe it was Logan."

She shrugged. "Women like her... who knows?"

"Women...like her?"

"As in little blonds who have nothing to do but sleep around. Is that what made you so obsessed with that Nicole Wallace woman?"

He swallowed his anger. "Obsessed? I think you've put the obsession on the wrong end."

She shrugged. "I believe it was a mutual thing. By the way, where is your little whore?"

"She...she's not..." He trailed off for a moment. "I don't own her."

She shrugged. "C.J. is having fun in New York. Lots of places to see, things to do..."

"Um...I...I think we're done here." He got to his feet. "You know where to find me if you decide to talk."

She shrugged indifferently. "I'm not the one who wanted to talk. You did."

"I-I'm sorry, Michelle."

"Don't be." She waved a little at him. "It was fun."

"I'm also sorry for whatever will happen to your son." He walked to the door and hammered his hand against it.

Her eyes narrowed. "Well, whatever does happen, I hope it happens because he is achieving his goal."

The guards opened the door and he headed out of the prison.

TBC...

A/N: Well, there you go. Michelle's a certifiable headcase, but ya'll already knew that. I definitely had lots of fun writing her. Very challenging, and very... rewarding. Hahahahaha.


	10. Bruises

Alright, alright, I know that was an evil cliffie, so here's the update! This chapter is definitely M in one spot, so viewer discretion is advised. LOL. Enjoy, and please remember to review!

Disclaimer: Not ours.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Alex's cell phone began to ring, and she glanced down at her purse. "Mike, grab that for me."

He pulled out the phone and flipped it open. "Yeah."

_Where's Alex?_

"Right here. Where the hell are you?"

_Leaving Rikers. Tell her to be careful...she...she's in danger, Mike._

"What the hell are you babbling about?"

_Michelle's son...he's in New York and he's out for revenge against me...through her._

"Aw, shit..."

Alex turned her head a little. "Is that Bobby? What's going on?"

"Michelle's kid is after him...by going after you, honey."

She gripped the steering wheel tightly, then said in a soft but furious voice, "Tell him to stay put. We're almost there."

"He's already left the prison."

"Damn it!"

Mike brought the phone to his ear. "You still on the island, pal?"

_Uh, no. I'm in Queens._

Mike looked at Alex. "He's in Queens."

She glared at the road ahead. "Of course. We're on our way there, and he's long gone."

"So what now?"

She thought for a moment, carefully turning into a restaurant parking lot and making a U-turn. "Tell him to meet us at your place, Mike," she said quietly. "It's closer."

He spoke into the phone. "Head to my place, Bobby. We'll meet you there...and brace yourself. Your little firecracker is pissed as hell."

_Great. I'll see you in a few._

Mike looked at Alex. "He's worried."

"I know."

"You still pissed?"

She sighed. "No. I'm just worried about him."

"Why?"

"Because. I always do."

He gave that some thought. "I guess he needs someone to worry about him."

She smiled and reached out, squeezing his shoulder briefly. "Everyone does."

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Bobby pulled up in front of Mike's building and found them waiting for him. Bracing himself for the tongue lashing he knew Alex had prepared for him, he got out of the car, buried his hands in his pockets and approached them, looking directly at neither of them.

Alex looked at her partner, then wordlessly walked across the ground and rested her hand on his shoulder. "Bobby, what were you thinking?"

"I...wasn't," he admitted. "I was furious...and I planned to just walk it off. The next think I knew, I was at Rikers, asking to see her."

She swallowed thickly. "Do you know how bad you scared me? And Mike?"

"I didn't...I..." He sighed heavily. "I'm sorry."

She shook her head and stepped into his arms, hugging him tightly. "I can't believe how stupid you can be sometimes, for a man who's such a genius." She rested her forehead against his chest and breathed deeply.

He folded his arms around her and rested his cheek against her head. "We-we need to talk."

She nodded. "Let's go inside first."

He nodded, shifting his eyes toward Mike. "I am sorry."

Mike shrugged. "I understand how you are. Just...think next time."

Alex nodded her agreement, then slid her hand into Bobby's and headed into the apartment building.

They walked up to the apartment and Mike pulled out his keys. When he pushed the key into the lock, the door opened on its own. He shifted his eyes over to meet Bobby's and both men pulled out their guns. Knowing better than to ask Alex to stay in the hall, Bobby had to trust her to have the sense to remain behind him, shielded from any danger by his body. He followed Mike through the door.

Alex felt Bobby tense, and she kept her hand on his back and remained behind him, knowing that he would be more careful and more alert if he knew she were behind him.

Logan headed to the bedroom and the bathroom while Bobby and Alex headed for the kitchen. They heard him call the all clear and responded in kind. The apartment was empty. Bobby holstered his weapon, then noticed the missing pictures from the refrigerator. Dropping to one knee, he picked up the torn halves of the picture Michelle had destroyed in her rage. He looked up at Alex.

She stared at the halves of the torn picture, and she shook her head and pressed her hand to her mouth. "God..."

Mike came around the corner. "There's a diaper bag and some diapers missing, and..."

Alex stepped away from the two men and walked out of the kitchen, her hands shaking and tears threatening to fall at any second.

Mike stared at the torn picture in Bobby's hand and was suddenly overwhelmed by an avalanche of emotion that he had been trying hard to keep submerged. Fear, worry, anger, anxiety...everything came together in his chest and manifested itself as rage...and the only target available to him was the man who stood in front of him holding the ruined picture.

Mike lost control and with a wounded shout he shoved Bobby hard. Not expecting the attack, Bobby stumbled backwards, hitting the far counter hard. Mike only saw red and he advanced on him, growling his rage. He swung hard, connecting a left hook with Bobby's jaw, followed immediately with a right to his left eyes and cheekbone. Bobby hit the ground hard, stunned, but he recovered enough by the time Mike grabbed his jacket to haul him to his feet to react. Grabbing Mike's arm, he spun him and pinned him to the wall, bracing his body against him to keep him in place. Mike swore at him and struggled, but Bobby had him firmly pinned. "Calm the hell down!" he growled, his voice low and threatening.

Bobby held him in place until Mike quit struggling and went limp. Muttering under his breath, Bobby dragged him to the couch, dropping him down beside Alex, and he went down the hall to the bathroom, still reeling from the fight. On one hand he understood, but on the other he was angry about being the target of Mike's rage. He was unaware of doing anything that deserved that rage. Standing at the sink, he dropped his chin to his chest and watched the blood drip from the cut below his eye into the sink. He breathed deep and slow, aware of another band of pain across his back where he'd hit the counter. That was gonna leave a bruise.

Softly, he whispered the only word that would come to him. "Shit."

In the living room, Mike stirred. He groaned and opened his eyes, aware only of a deep fatigue that penetrated into his bones. "Holy hell...what happened?"

Alex turned and touched his cheek, frowning deeply. "You attacked my partner, that's what."

"Attacked...? What? No..."

"Yes, you did." She struggled to her feet and walked into the kitchen, dampening a cloth that she found on the counter with warm water. Wringing it, she walked back into the living room and sat down beside Mike again. "Idiot," she growled, dabbing at a cut on his temple.

"Is he okay?"

"He's in your bathroom, I think."

"That's not what I asked. Is he okay?"

"I don't know. He took off before I could see him."

He studied her carefully. "So why are you sitting here with me?"

She thought for a moment. "Because you lost consciousness. And it's not exactly easy getting up and down every time you two decide to act like a couple of asses."

"Okay, fine. I'll go check on him." He couldn't explain his irritability, and he was too tired to try to control it at the moment. He got up from the couch and headed down the hall. Stopping in the bathroom doorway, he leaned against the door jam and looked at Bobby, who had not moved. "You okay, man?"

Bobby still didn't move. "What the hell was that about?"

"I...have no idea. I'm so sorry. I guess I just...snapped."

"And I was in the way."

"I suppose. Did I hurt you?"

"No. Just...leave me alone for a bit, okay?"

"Yeah, sure. I am sorry."

"So am I."

"What did you do?"

Bobby shook his head. "I have no clue."

Mike gently clapped his shoulder and walked away from the doorway, back to the living room, where he sat in the easy chair on the opposite side of the room from the couch. He rubbed his forehead and softly groaned.

Alex watched him for a moment, then pushed herself to her feet again with a tired sigh. Walking into the bathroom, she sat down on the edge of the tub and looked at her partner.

He remained at the sink, hanging his head as he continued to watch the blood drip into the basin. He was too exhausted to move right then.

"Bobby?" She stood up and rested her hands on his back. "Maybe we should go home."

He shook his head. "N-no. I'm not leaving him here alone."

She gently cupped his cheek in her hand and studied the bruises and cuts he had sustained. "Then let me get you cleaned up," she murmured, reaching past him to turn the sink on.

Softly, he whispered, "I, uh, I...didn't deserve that."

Tears stung at her eyes, and she pressed a soft kiss to the corner of his mouth. "I know you didn't, baby."

"He just...snapped...and he reacted...with rage. I'm glad you were out of the way."

She picked up a washcloth that was hanging off of the basin, then held it under the water. Silently, she wrung it and gently wiped the blood away from the corner of his mouth.

"I'm tired, Alex."

She nodded understandingly and continued wiping the blood away. "Let me go talk to Mike. I think we all need some sleep."

He took the cloth from her hands and looked into the mirror. Oh, he was going to look nice in the morning. Gently, he wiped the blood from his face below the laceration under his eye. "Ask him if he has a first aid kit anywhere around here."

"Okay." She ran a gentle hand through his hair, then walked out of the bathroom and into the living room.

Mike looked up. "I'm a fucking menace," he grumbled.

She sighed quietly. "You're an idiot, and you're a jerk. Bobby's tired, and I think we could all do with some sleep."

"How bad did I hurt him?"

"He has a few cuts and bruises, but he'll live." She watched him for a moment, then sat down beside him. "Mike, what the hell were you thinking?"

"Thinking? If I was thinking that would never have happened. Hell, Alex...I don't even remember hitting him. I saw that torn picture and everything after that just went blank."

"Mike... you've got to do something about that. Talk to someone, yell, do something. That might not have been Bobby. Think about that."

"Is he trying to figure out what he did to deserve it?"

"You know he is." She leaned back against the couch and closed her eyes. "I tried to talk him into going home, but he doesn't want to leave you here alone."

Mike waved a hand. "Take him into the bedroom. You guys can sleep in there. The sheets are clean. I'll just crash here on the couch."

"Okay." She stood up again and stepped in the direction of the bathroom. But she turned around and said quietly, "Call Angie. Talk to your daughter, okay, Mike?"

"Tell him he didn't do anything. And I really am sorry."

She nodded and touched his arm, then remembered what Bobby had said. "Do you have a first aid kit?"

"A what? Oh, yeah...under the sink in the bathroom."

"Okay." She walked back into the bathroom and leaned against the door. "There's a kit under the sink, and Mike said we can take the bed. He's sleeping on the couch."

"I'd argue the point if I wasn't so damn tired." Leaning down to retrieve the first aid kit, he stumbled half a step forward and smacked his forehead against the sink. He pulled back and leaned against the wall, swearing softly.

She grabbed his arm and carefully steadied him. "Hey, take it easy," she murmured, grabbing the kit. "You're about to collapse. Come on." She gently tugged on his arm and guided him into the bedroom.

He offered no resistance. Easing himself on the side of the bed, he sighed softly. "Uh, Alex...I have to talk to you."

She sat down beside him and opened the kit. "About what?" she asked, finding a bottle of peroxide and several pieces of gauze.

"About something Michelle said that won't leave me alone."

She frowned and mentally cursed as she gently cleaned the cuts on his face. "What did she say?"

"Her...her son, C.J., is in New York. He...was never happy about me being around his mother, even before he knew I was a cop. He, um, he has it in for me...but he's going to strike at me...through you. Sh-she, um, she knows...that you're carrying my baby."

She paused in her ministrations, looking down at her swollen belly before opening a box of band-aids. "What do you want to do?"

"You don't want me to answer that, baby."

She finished covering the cuts and wounds, then closed the first aid kit and set it down before gently pushing him back against the pillows. When he was situated, she stretched out beside him and rested her head on his chest. "I'm not going to let them touch me, or our child, Bobby."

He studied her from under heavy lids. "He doesn't have to get close to hurt you," he murmured, quickly losing ground to his exhaustion.

She raised her head and gently kissed his forehead. "I'll be careful. And with you and Mike for bodyguards..." She smirked and toyed with an errant curl.

"I, um..." Her gentle caress derailed his thoughts and his eyes slid mostly closed. He sighed softly. "I love you," he whispered softly.

She smiled and brushed her fingers lightly across his cheek. "I love you, too," she whispered reassuringly, pressing herself further into his side.

"You...sure about that?" he asked, half-kidding.

She covered his lips with hers, running one hand over his chest as she kissed him deeply. When she pulled away, her eyes met his, and she whispered, "Does that answer your question?"

"Thank you," he replied, running his fingers through her hair. "Promise...promise me, you'll be diligent."

She laid her head by his and cupped his cheek in her palm. "Bobby, what did I tell you? I'm not going to let anyone hurt our child. I'll be careful, even more than I normally am. I promise you that."

His fingers skimmed over her skin, his exploring touch light and affectionate. "Love you so much," he murmured softly, planting soft kisses along her jaw.

She smiled and gently slid her hand under his shirt. "I love you, too. Even when you make me crazy."

"I don't mean to..."

She silenced him with another kiss. "I wouldn't have you any other way."

He caught her lips again, tracing his tongue along them lightly, begging entry. He softly groaned as his body's response to her drew him further from sleep.

She rolled onto her back, pulling him along as she drew him in for another shattering kiss.

He groaned deeply and his hands roamed over her body, stirring her to passion.

She groaned softly and forced her eyes open. "Are you sure?" Her small hand wandered lightly over the purplish bruise on his chest. "Doesn't it hurt?"

"Does what hurt?" he replied, baffled.

She couldn't help but laugh a little. "Baby, your chest. It's one big bruise." Carefully she pushed his shirt up, revealing what she had just seen.

His eyes were focused on her face and his mind was focused on the path of his fingers along her skin. "Just...make me forget..." he softly pleaded.

She knew that she couldn't deny him, no matter how she tried. So she gently framed his face with her hands and pulled him down again, pressing her lips against his forehead, then his lips.

Groaning again, he responded to her, stroking his thumb across her nipple as he eased her clothes off her body. His mouth kissed and nipped, his tongue soothed and traced the curve of her neck and her collarbone. His legs braced against her hips and his hand strayed down, over the swelling where his baby lived inside her. And he lost himself in the wonder that was her.

She kissed him softly, but it grew more ardent and desperate when he slowly entered her. Her hands wandered over his strong back, and she smiled when his big hand covered where their child rested. "Just a few... more months," she managed to whisper between each kiss that threatened to devour her.

Fully overwhelmed, he managed a soft moan in reply. His kisses became increasingly hungry as his body stroked against hers, slowly at first, increasing with his need to claim her and bring her to climax.

Her body arched against his, and she tightened her arms around him, pulling him as close to her as she could. He moved faster, and she lightly bit his neck, grinning when he shuddered in response.

"Oh, baby," he moaned against her skin as he stepped up the pace of his thrusts. Breathing hard, he buried his face in her neck as her entire body tightened around him, driving him to his own climax.

She closed her eyes and tightened her legs around his waist as she found her own release. "God, Bobby..." She whimpered softly and kissed his head where it rested in the crook of her neck.

As he came back down, his fatigue hit him hard. He slid to the bed beside her, burying his face in her hair as he murmured, "Love you, baby."

She turned into him and buried herself in his arms, sighing contently. "Love you too, Bobby."

His hand caressed her abdomen over the baby as he relaxed and drifted off, remaining on his stomach to keep pressure off the new injury across his back, courtesy of Mike's rage.

She stayed awake for a little while longer, just watching him as he slept peacefully. Her fingers barely traced the bruise on his back, and a frown marred her face. But his even breathing and gentle hand still resting on her abdomen quenched the anger, and she rested her head against his and closed her eyes.

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Angie sighed as she rocked the crying little girl in her arms. "I know, sweetheart," she cooed, kissing the baby's head. "I know it hurts."

Kiska just shoved her fist into her mouth and continued to cry, her sobs intermittently pierced by a stuttered, "D-da!"

Emily walked into the room and sat down on the bed beside her mother. "How is she, Mom?" she asked, touching the little girl's back.

Angie smiled wearily. "She's cutting her first tooth, and the poor thing is miserable."

"Aw, poor baby," Emily murmured, kissing Kiska's head. Then she raised her head and looked at her mother. "Maybe she wants her dad," she suggested. "She seems like she's a daddy's girl."

Angie laughed. "You were the same way as a baby, Em. If your daddy went out of your sight, you would cry until he came back." They both laughed quietly at that.

"Maybe you should call him. She might feel better if he was here," Emily said softly, and Angie thought for a moment before nodding.

"You're probably right, honey. Could you get the phone for me?"

Emily stood up and walked out of the room, returning a few minutes later with the phone. Shifting the crying baby carefully to her other arm, she dialed Mike's number and held the phone up to her ear.

Mike answered the phone without even trying to hide the misery in his voice. _Yeah?_

"Mike? It's Angie."

_What? Oh...hi, Angie. Everything okay over there?_

She smiled at his concern. "It is. But your little girl is teething, and I think it would do wonders for her to see you."

He sighed softly. _I, um...I can't drive right now. I had a really bad night. If you want to bring her over...Alex and Bobby are still here. She'll be fine._

"Okay, dear." The line went silent for a moment. "This child has been missing you. All we've heard from her is 'Da.'" She laughed softly as Emily took the baby from her arm.

_Well, she's young yet, Angie. She'll learn._

A frown appeared on her face. "Mike, I don't think anything you do could ever change the way this child loves you."

_Maybe you should ask her Uncle Bobby about that._

She sighed. "I know that tone. You're not going to listen to anything right now. We'll be over there in a little while, then Jimmy wants to drop by the hospital and see if he can't find out anything about Carolyn."

_Yeah, whatever you want to do. See you later._

She hung up the phone, and Emily looked at her curiously as she shrugged. "He's going through a rough patch right now, honey," she explained, taking the fussy baby from her eldest daughter.

Emily nodded and picked up Kiska's diaper bag, and she retrieved a few bottles from the refrigerator before the three of them walked out to the car.

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"He's upset right now, Em. Try to bear with him," Angie said as Emily knocked on the door of Mike's apartment.

Mike drained the beer from the bottle and went to the door, pulling it open. "Hey, ladies. C'mon in."

Angie stepped into the apartment first, gently bouncing the fussy child in her arms. But as soon as she saw Mike, she reached out to him and cried, "Da!"

He took his daughter from Angie and forced a smile. "What's the matter, Kitkat?"

The baby rested her head on his shoulder and continued to cry softly.

"She's been like this since the two of you left. The poor thing," Angie murmured, gently resting her hand against the baby's back.

He gently bounced her and patted her back. "She doesn't know any better. Believe me, if she'd been here, she'd have gotten her first introduction to scary."

Angie shook her head and placed the diaper bag on the couch. "Why do you say that, Mike?"

"Because it's true."

She arched an eyebrow and watching him gently soothe the baby. "Somehow, I find that hard to believe."

"I lost my damn mind and hit a guy who didn't do a damn thing wrong...several times in fact."

She reached out and gently clasped his shoulder. "Why don't you talk to me about it?" she gently urged, squeezing his shoulder.

"I...lost it, Angie. That psycho was here, and she stole the pictures of the baby from the fridge. Then she tore a picture of the baby and me in half. I came in and found Bobby holding the two halves of the picture. Alex left the room and I just...snapped. I...I hurt him...and he didn't retaliate. What the hell is wrong with me?"

She sat there in silence for a minute, mulling over everything he had just told her. "I think..." she began slowly. "I think that the stress, anger and exhaustion finally caught up with you. And you lashed out at the only safe target."

"He's gotta be sick and tired of being a damn target."

"Maybe. I'm not saying that it was a good or smart thing. But I think that you might have finally worked off some of that bad energy, which I think is a good thing. Now you just need to make it up to him."

He snorted. "I have no idea how to even start doing that. I friggin' drew blood, Angie."

She moved her hand to his leg. "I'll tell something that will make you feel better."

"Dammit...I don't want to feel better. He's my friend, but he won't be for long if I keep this up."

"You should hear this. When I first met you, you reminded me so much of my husband. And you still do. Today just serves to cement that for me." She leaned back against the arm of the couch.

"Jimmy's an asshole, too?"

She laughed. "Not exactly, dear. See, when Jimmy and I first got married, he had this best friend, named Alan. Those two were the worst. Alan would take Jimmy out and get him so drunk, he couldn't see straight. They were inseparable. Well... one day, Jimmy was very upset, so upset that I couldn't even reach him. Alan tried, and got a broken arm, a black eye, and a busted lip for his efforts."

"Did that kill the friendship?"

She laughed softly. "Actually, they were closer than ever, and they stayed like that until Alan passed away a few years ago."

Mike sighed. "He didn't hit me back, Angie. I'd have decked him."

"Probably. But the thing is that he didn't. I've known you two ever since each of you came to Major Case. And I firmly believe that you'll find a way to fix things with him."

Mike gave out a bitter laugh. "He's wondering what he did to deserve that rage...and I really don't know how to tell him it had nothing to do with him. The bruises and the blood tell a different story."

"Just be honest with him, dear. You lost control and screwed up. You admit that and apologize."

"Bobby sure understands screwing up. Maybe a couple of six packs or a bottle of booze can help smooth things over. If nothing else, it'll take the edge off."

"Maybe." She smiled gently at him. "You're all going to be fine."

"Did I tell you he went off half-cocked to Rikers this evening after we found out what happened to Carolyn?"

She shook her head. "Why doesn't that surprise me?"

"Yeah...Alex was ready to kill him."

"I'm sure she was." She chuckled softly. "There were plenty of times I tried to kill Jimmy when I was pregnant."

"She has her work cut out for her, that's for sure."

"Like every woman before her."

Another laugh. "Are you even trying to call Bobby Goren typical, Angie?"

"He's a man. No man comes without some baggage and challenge."

"He and I have more than our share of baggage and challenges."

She chuckled. "But that just makes the reward that much sweeter."

"You think so?"

"Dear, I know so."

"I feel bad for Alex and Carolyn half the time."

She patted his shoulder. "Don't worry. They know what they've gotten themselves into, and there's a reason why they have stuck around for so long."

"And what's that? A tendency toward sadism?"

She shook her head. "No. A love that changes them, like they've never been changed before. And though it might scare them at first, they know it's a wonderful thing. Take it from a wise old woman, Mike." She nodded toward the baby. "She had your child, and not even the worst parts of you you believe no one could stand can scare her away."

"Forgive my skepticism, but I have a lifetime of experience with myself, Angie."

"If I were wrong about that, I never would have married Jimmy. And I never would have had my beautiful little girls."

He shrugged. "I suppose I am just not in the mood for reassurance. When I went into the bedroom to get the playpen, I got a good look at what I did. I'm ashamed of myself, Angie."

"Of course you are." She leaned closer. "That just means you're a decent person, and you regret hurting one of your closest friends."

He looked at her and softly sighed. "You could put a positive spin on anything, couldn't you?"

She tilted her head to the side. "Not always."

He sighed. "Thanks for taking care of the baby. I hope we didn't impose too much on you and the girls."

She glared at him. "You didn't impose at all. The girls loved having her, and Lucy got to pretend she wasn't the youngest for a while."

He nodded and gently laid the sleeping baby in the playpen. He wandered into the kitchen and pulled a beer out of the refrigerator. "Don't let me keep you. Thank you for taking care of her for me."

She stood up and peered down the hall. "We'll go in a few minutes. First, tell me how Alex is."

"Alex? She's fine. Why?"

She raised an eyebrow. "She's five months pregnant, Mike. I remember how it was."

"She was really pissed earlier, first at him and then at me, but I think she got over it. She chased him into the bedroom after...well, afterwards. But he takes good care of her...watches her like a hawk."

"That's good," she said, smiling warmly. "She needs a little pampering. When I was pregnant with all of the girls, I was either crying or threatening to hand Jimmy a body part."

Mike laughed. "That's Alex every day. She doesn't need pregnancy for an excuse to hand him a body part."

She joined in his laughter. "And Carolyn? You think she'll do that to you? Or is that already an everyday thing?"

"She's always done that."

"Good. Someone should keep you in line. That's what Jimmy always said about you at work."

"Home is no different, believe me."

"I do."

"Do you want to see Alex?"

"Don't wake her if she's sleeping. She needs all the rest she can get."

"Want me to get Bobby? He's a sight."

"I'm sure he is. But leave him alone if he's sleeping. He's probably getting less sleep than her."

"What else is new. I don't think he's slept through the night once since I've known him."

"And I'd bet that he gets even less, with her being pregnant. He's probably spending most of the night just spending time with the baby." She smiled fondly. "Jimmy had a bad habit of that."

"I don't know. I don't usually take the chance to walk in on them in the bedroom."

She rolled her eyes. "Somehow I doubt you'd be standing here if you had."

He grinned. "Oh, she gets pissed when I interrupt. He usually thinks it's funny."

"Wonderful," she said sarcastically.

"We're more alike in some ways than Alex likes."

"It's not more of an issue of liking. It's more scary," a voice announced, and Alex appeared from Mike's bedroom, stretching her arms over her head.

He looked at her, briefly smiling. "Are you feeling okay?" he asked.

"Yes. But this kid is driving me nuts." She walked into the kitchen and began rifling through the refrigerator. "Do you have any tacos, Mike?"

"Tacos? Uh, no...but there's a bar down the street that makes decent tacos. You want me to run down and get you a few?"

She shut the refrigerator and smiled appreciatively. "Do you mind?"

"Nah. Angie wanted to check up on you anyway. Uh, how's Bobby?"

"Sleeping. I don't think he's slept at all in a few days."

"You know what I mean, Alex."

"I know. He's hurt, Mike. And I don't just mean physically."

Mike frowned. "What are you talking about?"

She leaned against the counter. "He doesn't understand what he did, and you know how he is. He takes the blame for everything, whether it's his fault or not."

Mike sighed heavily. "Yeah, I figured. You know it wasn't his fault; he didn't do anything. Now tell me I have a snowball's chance in hell of convincing him."

"Well, I think your chances are a little better than that." She picked up a glass and filled it with ice and water.

"Uh, you mind keeping an eye on Kitkat for me? I'll run to get your tacos."

"You know I don't mind. And how much trouble can she be while she's sleeping?" She thought for a moment. "Oh wait. She's yours."

"Just wait, sweetheart. You're having Goren's kid."

She sighed heavily. "Don't think I don't know this. Only his kid would find a way to be bored before it's born."

Logan laughed. "Yeah, that fits. I'll be back in twenty." He looked at Angie. "Thank you, Angie."

Angie smiled at him. "You're very welcome, Mike." Then she turned around and placed her hand on Alex's growing belly.

"How are you feeling, honey?" she asked, and Alex smiled.

"I'm pregnant with Bobby's child. I don't think I could get any happier," she answered with a content sigh.

"That's wonderful, dear." Angie grasped Alex's shoulders and gave her a gentle push. "Go sit down. I'm going to tidy up this kitchen for Mike."

"Good luck. He'll come back and not know where anything is," she said as she walking into the living room and settled down on the couch. Angie laughed as she stood over the sink and turned the water on.

Bobby rolled over in the bed, seeking Alex. He swallowed a moment of panic when he found her gone. _She's five months pregnant,_ he thought calming himself. _An active baby and bladder pressure would wake her...maybe she was hungry...oh, shit...I didn't get her dinner...where the hell is my head?_ He got up, pulled on his pants and headed out of the bedroom. The last people he expected to see in the living room with Alex were Angie and Emily Deakins. He froze two steps into the room, uncertain and ready to duck back into the bedroom for his shirt.

Alex leaned back against the couch, and Emily sat down beside her, a curious look on the young woman's face. Alex smiled warmly at her and rubbed her belly. "The baby's kicking. Want to feel?"

A smile lit up Emily's face, and she laid a gentle hand over Alex's belly, where the baby was kicking wildly. "Wow," she murmured.

Alex heard movement in the hall, and she called, "Come on out, Bobby. Mike just went to get some dinner."

Still uncertain, he studied her. "I'm sorry. I...should have gotten you something to eat."

She waved a hand at him dismissively. "It's fine. I've only been up for a few minutes myself."

"I...uh, I'm going to get my shirt...I'll be right back."

"Go ahead. Your child is entertaining us."

He studied her a moment longer then turned and headed back down the hall, hoping his back didn't look as bad as it felt.

She caught sight of his back, and she had to consciously keep herself from reacting. Instead, she focused on the movement inside of her.

Emily smiled. "Do you know what it's going to be?" she asked shyly.

Shaking her head, Alex answered, "Bobby didn't want to know, so we're going to be surprised."

"An active little one," she said in awe a few moments later.

Alex nodded. "Especially when Bobby's around. He's the only one who can get this little tyke to settle down."

Bobby returned to the living room with his shirt on but not buttoned, unaware that the deep bruising on his chest was still visible when his shirt settled open. He eased himself onto the couch beside Alex, leaning over to kiss her cheek. His hand absently strayed to her abdomen near Emily's and he smiled at the Deakins' oldest daughter. "Hello, Emily."

She smiled back at Bobby. "Hi."

Alex leaned back against her partner, mindful of his chest. "Sleep well?" she asked.

"For a little while, yes." He gently stroked her abdomen where the baby tumbled actively. Leaning closer he said quietly, "Hey, Poppet, settle down. Give Mommy a break."

She snorted. "Baby, that's like telling you to settle down," she teased, running her fingers along his arm.

He kissed her temple and withdrew his hand to lightly run it over the bruise on his chest. "I tried," he replied.

"I know." She watched Emily stand up and join her mother in the kitchen, and when she did, she gently pulled Bobby's arm around her.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

"Nothing. I just want you close," she murmured, sighing contently.

"I...I know how that feels." When she pushed his shirt open and ran her cool hands over his bruises, he softly gasped.

She jumped a little and pulled her hands away, shaking her head.

"What?' he asked, concerned.

"It hurts you. She hurt you." She pushed herself to an upright position. "I just... I still can't believe all of this."

"No," he protested. "No...that...that felt good. Your hand...was cool. An-and my chest doesn't hurt quite as much as my head does." Gently, he drew her back against him and slipped her hand into his shirt, giving her a soft, reassuring kiss.

She slowly relaxed against him, letting out a breath she didn't know she had been holding. "I love you," she murmured, gently caressing his skin.

He also found himself relaxing as she caressed his warm skin. "I love you, too," he answered. "Uh, did the little guy settle down?"

"Hardly." She suddenly caught the whiff of tacos, and she sat upright and grinned. "Tacos..."

The door opened and Mike strolled in. "Dinner..." He stopped dead in his tracks when he saw Bobby sitting on the couch beside Alex. His eyes took in his bruised face and the eye that was swelled almost shut. Deep remorse filled his face.

Alex stood up and approached Mike. "Remember what we told you," she whispered, taking the bag from him and carrying it into the kitchen.

Setting the bag on the counter, Alex couldn't help but grin as she pulled the tacos out. But something seemed... missing, and she turned to the refrigerator and opened the door.

Angie and Emily watched in growing amusement as Alex pulled out a jar of jelly, another jar that contained pickles, and finally the mustard. She reached into a drawer and found a butter knife, then uncapped the jelly and dipped the knife in.

"Yum," she said to herself as she spread the jelly carefully in the taco shell.

Putting the cap back on the jelly jar, she uncapped the pickles and grabbed several pickle chips, dropping them over the jelly, then closed the pickle jar. Finally she picked up the bottle of mustard, spreading a generous layer over each taco before setting the bottle down again.

Angie laughed in amusement and put the condiments away as Alex bit into the first taco, sighing blissfully.

"Damn, this is a good taco," she sighed after swallowing the first bite. "Thanks, Mike."

Mike stared at her. "What the hell did you do to that taco?"

"Made it delicious," she stated before taking another big bite.

He looked at Bobby. "Does she do that to all her food?"

"Most of it."

"And you watch her eat...that...every day?"

"No. I usually don't watch her eat."

"I don't blame you. Uh, you want a taco before she...enhances the rest of them?"

"No, thanks. I'm not hungry."

Mike looked at the ceiling for a long minute. "Alex?"

"Hmm?"

"Um, do you mind if I borrow your boyfriend?"

She waved. "Go for it. But behave. Both of you."

"You mind keeping an eye on Kitkat?"

"Again, she's yours. I may have a bit of a problem," she teased as she finished the first taco and reached for the second.

"Thanks, sweetheart...I think. come on, pal...I don't think I can watch her destroy another taco."

"But they're good now!" she protested, biting down on the crunchy shell.

"I'll take your word for it." Bobby looked toward her as he got up from the couch, making certain she was all right with him leaving the apartment with Mike.

She nodded and waved at him a little.

He touched his fingers to his lips, blowing her a brief kiss. Then he followed Mike out of the apartment.

Alex watched them go, and Angie laid a gentle hand on her back. "Good taco?" she asked, trying to lighten the mood.

Alex's smile returned, and she nodded. "This baby got what she wants. I have a feeling that's going to be happening a lot..."

The three women shared a laugh as Angie and Emily continued to clean the kitchen, and Alex enjoyed her tacos.

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Alex was laying on Mike's couch later that night, staring blankly at the T.V. as Kiska laid in the crook of her arm, asleep. Angie and Emily had left two hours after Mike and Bobby had left to talk, and now she was just lying there, absently smoothing her hand over the baby's soft hair.

Mike fumbled with the key and the lock for a bit before he finally got the key to slide in and turn. Pushing the door open, he stumbled into the apartment, followed by an equally unsteady Bobby.

Alex watched them enter the apartment, and she frowned. "Don't fall on your face."

Bobby raised an eyebrow. "You think it'd make a difference?" He and Mike both started laughing.

She rolled her eyes. "Just for that, you two can share the bed."

Mike frowned. "Hey, I made it up to him for what I did. I'm not friggin' dating him."

"Good. I'm glad." She adjusted the sleeping child and gently rubbed her back. "You two are going to have the mother of all headaches tomorrow."

"I started off with one of those," Bobby replied. "It's gone now."

Kiska began stirring against her, and she glared at the two men. "She's about to start screaming. One of you knuckleheads should go get a teething ring out of her diaper bag."

They looked at each other. "Diaper bag..." Mike said.

Bobby shrugged. "Don't look at me."

She let out an exasperated sigh. "Kitchen counter, genius." The baby started to cry, and she kissed her head and rubbed her back gently.

"Did you finish your dinner?" Mike asked cautiously.

"You're a wuss, Logan," Bubby muttered, moving across the room toward the kitchen. He opened the diaper bag and rummaged through it, knocking a glass off the counter with his elbow. It hit the ground and shattered. "Whoops," he commented.

Alex groaned and tried to calm the baby. "You two are like two of the three stooges, you know that?"

"I'll help him," Mike assured her.

Bobby brought the teething ring to Alex, nearly tumbling onto her when he leaned over to hand it to her.

Alex sat upright on the couch, settling the baby into the crook of her right arm as she handed her the teething ring.

She eyed the men as the baby chewed on the ring. "You two might want to go lay down, before you fall on your asses. Cause I'm in no position to be able to pick you two up."

Mike shoved Bobby's shoulder and he almost fell over. Laughing, Mike said, "C'mon...we gotta clean up that glass."

Alex settled back against the arm of the couch, with a view of the men attempting to clean the mess. Then she looked at the baby and said, "I don't understand them either, honey."

It took ten minutes for them to get the glass cleaned up and both of them ended up cut on the hand. When they came out of the kitchen, they both had a freshly opened beer. Mike told her, "Be careful in there, in case we missed any glass."

"Okay." At the sight of Mike, the baby took the ring out of her mouth and waved at him. "Da!"

He waved back. "Hi, baby."

A huge smile spread over her face, and she looked back at Alex, then at Mike again before saying in an almost questioning manner, "Ma?"

"Uh, no, baby, Mommy isn't here right now. We'll see her tomorrow." He looked at Bobby. "Did you hear her say 'Ma'?"

"I think so."

Alex had tears in her eyes, and for the tenth time that day, cursed her fluctuating hormones. "Come here, beautiful," she murmured, hugging the little girl close.

Mike drained his beer and said, "If you want, you guys can still have the, uh...the bed."

Alex looked at him, then rose to her feet, shifting the baby to her hip. "Actually, bed sounds pretty good right now," she said softly.

Bobby watched her with interest. "Really?"

She looked at him. "Yes. I'm tired, and I need to get some sleep so I have the energy to deal with you two tomorrow."

"Oh...um...is it okay...if I...uh..." he trailed off, uncertain.

"Bobby, you've got to be kidding me..." She rubbed her eyes tiredly. "Of course you're coming, too."

He looked relieved. "Um, let me just finish this." He held up the bottle in his hand.

"Fine." She kissed the baby's cheek, then sat her down on the carpeted floor, in front of the couch. She immediately began crawling toward a toy that had been tossed in the corner of the room.

Resting her hand on her belly, she gave Mike an amused little wave and said, "Good night, Mike." Then she turned around and headed into the bedroom.

Bobby drained his beer and followed her.

She was pulling back the covers when he appeared in the door, and she smiled at him before climbing into the bed.

He stood by the bed, watching her and letting the wall keep his balance, giving her a lop-sided grin.

She rolled her eyes as she settled back against the pillows and patted the bed beside her. "Come on, big guy. We've got a lot to do tomorrow."

He crossed to the bed, sat down and began struggling with the buttons on his shirt.

She pushed herself up and deftly unbuttoned his shirt, then gently guided him down against the pillows.

He grinned again and brushed his fingers through her hair. "Beautiful," he murmured softly.

She chuckled softly and rested her head on his shoulder. "Sleep, baby."

"Uh...the room's spinning," he said.

She kissed his nose and gently brushed her thumb along his eyes. "Go to sleep."

He gave her a sleepy smile. "No pain though," he whispered.

"Good." She reached down and pulled the blanket over them, then settled into his side with her head resting close to his heart.

TBC...

A/N: Well, there's the update. We really hope ya'll enjoyed it, and we'll be back again soon with another update.


	11. Not So Vigilant

Well, ya'll have been very patient waiting, and your reviews and comments have been absolutely wonderful! Thanks a lot for reading this story, and here's the next chapter! Enjoy!

Disclaimer: Not ours.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

The first rays of sunlight were bleeding into the room when Alex opened her eyes, and with the warm bulk of her partner beside her, she was tempted to close her eyes and return to sleep.

But soft noises from the crib by the bed alerted her, and she slowly extricated herself from Bobby's grip and slid out of the bed. "Morning, sweetheart," she murmured to the baby who was sitting in her crib and babbling to herself.

At Alex's voice, Kiska raised her arms toward her and giggled, and Alex picked her up and bounced her gently. After changing the infant's diaper, she carried her out of the bedroom and headed into the living room, where Mike was snoring with his face buried in a couch cushion. She was tempted to lay the baby on him, but decided against it.

Instead, she sat the happy baby in her playpen, then wandered into the kitchen in search of something to eat. She was surprised to find the ingredients to make pancakes as she searched through the cabinets, and the baby readily agreed. She reached over and turned the burner on, then opened the box and mixed the batter with milk.

Humming softly to herself, she continued mixing the batter, then poured a little into the hot pan. Finding a spatula near the silverware, she used it to flip the first pancake.

After putting the spatula down, she crossed the floor and started a pot of coffee, knowing that Bobby and Mike would need it. Then she returned to the stove and picked up the bowl of pancake batter, pouring it carefully into the pan.

Bobby rolled over and swore at the sun. With a quiet moan, he got out of bed and headed into the bathroom. Coming out, he heard pans rattling in the kitchen and he walked down the hall toward the living room. As he crossed into the larger room, he heard a happy voice. "Umba!"

Turning toward the playpen, he saw Kiska smiling at him and reaching for him over the side of the playpen. "Well, good morning, Cubby."

He lifted her into his arms and headed for the kitchen as she lightly touched his bruised eye. "Yes, that's an owie," he murmured, stopping in the doorway to watch Alex bustle about with a large mixing bowl.

She looked up when she heard her partner's soft voice, and she grinned at him as she set the bowl down. "Morning, baby. Coffee's over there."

He pulled a coffee mug from the cabinet and poured himself a cup, adding milk. Then he got a small bowl from another cabinet and mixed cereal with baby applesauce. "Did you change her when you got up?" he asked.

"Yes. We've been up for a couple of hours." She picked up the spatula and carefully flipped the pancake. "You two needed some more sleep."

He leaned over and softly kissed her cheek. "I love you," he whispered.

She kissed him and playfully swatted at him with the spatula. "Love you, too."

He carried the baby and her bowl to the dining table and put her in her high chair, giving her cheek a kiss. "Hungry, Cubby?"

Kiska giggled. He smiled and returned to the kitchen for his coffee. Stepping up behind Alex, he slid his hand over her stomach and leaned over her shoulder. "Good morning, Poppet."

She leaned back against him and grinned. "This is the last one," she said, placing the final pancake on top of the others and turning the burner off.

"Uh, just two small ones for me, babe. I'm sore as hell and my head is going to explode."

"Okay." She put the two pancakes on a plate and handed them to him, then fixed her own plate. Searching through the cabinets, she found what she was looking for: peanut butter. With a satisfied smile, she grabbed it and picked up a butter knife and fork, then carried it to the table.

He laughed softly. "You'd better finish eating before Mike gets up."

She settled in the chair and spread the peanut butter over the pancakes, then took a large bite. "Your fault," she grumbled good naturedly.

"My fault?" he asked as he sat down in front of the baby who was happily calling his name. "How is it my fault?"

"Your kid is the one making me have all of these weird cravings." She looked down at her plate. "This looks so gross. But it's so good..."

He spooned a little cereal into the baby's mouth. He smiled, feeling a little green. "Enjoy," he muttered, looking away.

"Oh, I am." She took another bite of the concoction and watched Bobby and the baby out of the corner of her eye.

Soon, her plate was empty, and she sighed contently and carried the plate over to the sink to wash it. Then she walked back to the table, pulling her chair beside Bobby's.

He looked at her, a soft smile touching his face. With a quiet sigh, he spooned a little more cereal into Kiska's mouth.

"Should we get Mike up and moving? We're going to the hospital today."

"You can get him up. I have enough bruises. He won't hit you."

"Okay." She stood up, dropping a kiss on the top of his head. Then she walked over to the couch and quietly called the sleeping man's name. "Mike?"

He groaned and turned over into the back of the couch, burying his head in the cushions. "Go 'way," he groaned.

She shot Bobby a look, then bent down a little closer and said, "Come on, Mike. I made pancakes."

He turned his head to look at her through one open eye. "What disgusting thing did you do to them?"

She rolled her eyes. "I already ate mine. Yours are normal."

"Thank God for small favors." He sat up and huffed out a heavy breath. Then he looked around the room, spotting Bobby feeding the baby. "How do you outdrink me and still get up before me?"

"I'm bigger than you are. I can handle more."

"How do you feel?"

"Don't ask."

"Hmm...me, too."

Alex gave him a gentle push in the direction of the kitchen. "Go eat. We're leaving in a little while."

"Oh, good..." he groaned, changing direction toward the bathroom.

She watched him, then sat down beside Bobby and rested her forehead against his arm. "She's having fun," she said, nodding toward the laughing baby.

"She always has fun. I hope our baby is this happy."

She smiled. "She will be. She's got you for a dad, and Mike for an uncle. She'll never be bored."

"Bored, no...but it's _my_ baby, Alex..."

Leaning over, she brushed her lips against his forehead. "Bobby, don't worry. We're going to have a great baby."

He looked down into the baby's empty bowl, but he didn't answer. Silently, he got up and took the dish into the kitchen.

She stood up and followed him into the kitchen, wrapping her arms around his waist and pressing her belly against him. "Bobby, please. This baby is going to be great. She already has a daddy who adores her and a mom who couldn't want her more if she tried." She kissed his shoulder. "This baby is not going to want or need for anything, especially her parent's love."

"I know," he said softly.

"Good." She slid around to face him, then reached out and brushed her fingertips across his cheek.

"I need you to keep reminding me...that life really can be good."

"I think I can do that." She grabbed his hand and rested it against her stomach. "Just feel that. This child is there because you and I love each other, and nothing could ever change that."

He smiled at the movement beneath his hand and he kissed his baby's mother. "I do love you," he whispered.

"I love you, too."

"All right, all right," came a voice from the doorway. "Break it up."

Bobby turned from the sink and moved past Mike, nudging him with his shoulder. "Ass," he muttered.

"I do try hard."

"You don't have to try."

With a laugh, Mike poured himself a cup of coffee. "Alex...you got a minute?"

She looked at Bobby, then at Mike. "For you, two, Mike."

Bobby raised his hands and walked out of the room. He lifted the baby from her high chair and carried her to the bathroom to wash her up.

Mike watched him leave, then looked back at Alex. "We had a long talk last night."

She leaned against the counter with a glass of juice in her hand. "Good."

"Maybe. Do you have any idea how upset he is about the threat to you?"

She bit her lip and nodded. "I have an idea. We talked about it yesterday."

She stared down into her glass, then walked over to the refrigerator and poured another glass of apple juice.

"Alex? He's really upset."

"I know, Mike. I'm worried, too."

"No, Alex. He's more than worried. It's...bad, sweetheart. We worked out our problem in five minutes. I spent the rest of the night trying to calm him down."

"Damn," she cursed under her breath. "I thought... I thought I got through to him last night."

"No one got through to him, honey. Believe me. He didn't get trashed because we were having a great time."

She exhaled deeply. "Okay... when we get to the hospital, I'll talk to him, and you check on Carolyn." She set the glass in the sink and rubbed at her eyes.

"Good luck. I couldn't get anywhere with him."

"I might not be able to, either. I don't know."

"Neither do I."

She washed the glass and dried it, then put it away. "How are you?"

"Hungover as hell...and...concerned."

"The first part, I figured. What are you concerned about?"

Mike sighed softly, wondering how much he should tell her. "Let me just say...talk to him. See how far you can get with him. See what he'll tell you."

She frowned at him. "Fine. I'm going to go see if he's done with the baby."

"Alex...I really hate to say this, but you have no clue about this."

"You're probably right." She turned around and walked out of the kitchen.

She took several steadying breaths as she walked down the hall, stopping when she reached Mike's room. "Did she give you too much trouble?" she asked, watching as Bobby dressed the giggling baby.

"What?" he turned his head, drawn from deep thought. "Oh, uh, no. She's fine."

"Good." She leaned against the doorframe and drummed her fingertips against her arm thoughtfully. "You and I are going to have a talk when we go to the hospital."

"About what?"

"About last night, and what Michelle told you."

He stiffened. "Uh, Alex..."

She raised her hand. "No arguments, big guy. We're going to figure this out. Together."

He shook his head and picked the baby up. "There's nothing to figure out," he muttered.

She walked over and rested her head against his chest. "Bobby..."

"Really, Alex. I'm fine. There's nothing to discuss."

"Yes, there is. You're not the only one who's afraid."

"Afraid...?"

She looked up at him. "Yes. Afraid. This... psycho wants us dead, and if I lost either of you..."

"No, baby. She doesn't. She wants you dead...because I will suffer."

She wordlessly wrapped her arms around him, then pulled his head down for a dizzying kiss. "Bobby, I promise you. I'll be as careful as I can, and it's not like I'm leaving by myself. You and Mike are coming, too." She tucked her head under his chin and slid her hand beneath his shirt.

His body trembled and he closed his eyes. The tension in him was intense and he had no idea how he could tell her that he wasn't just afraid. He was terrified. This threat was real and he felt she was playing it down, belittling it.

She felt him tremble, and she sighed and gripped him tighter. "Would it make you feel better if I go stay with Angie while you and Mike go check on Carolyn?"

"N-no...I..." He shook his head, feeling close to the edge. He had no idea how to handle this. "Let's just get going."

"Okay." She slowly released him and kissed him softly before walking out of the room.

He watched her leave the room, and he wondered why she kept giving in to him. If she meant it to make him happy or to reassure him, it wasn't working. It was just making him more ill at ease. He was really on edge. Gently, he kissed the baby's head. "Come on, Cubby. Let's go see Mommy."

Alex walked into the living room and waited patiently for Bobby to join them before saying, "Who's driving?"

"I'll drive," Mike offered. "Did you get anywhere?"

"Not yet. But I will."

"I don't think you can kiss this one away, honey."

She shook her head and picked up the baby's diaper bag. "Maybe not. But I'll find a way."

"Got any good sedatives?"

"I wish."

Mike snorted. "So do I."

"So do you what?" Bobby asked as he came into the room with the baby.

"Wish we had something that could calm you the hell down."

"Bite me, Logan."

"No thanks. That's her job."

She couldn't help but grin. "Only when he asks."

Mike grinned at her, arching his eyebrows mischievously. "Can I watch?"

She picked up a cushion from the couch and tossed it at his head.

He laughed and grabbed his keys. "Do I take that as a no?"

She followed him, rolling her eyes. "Idiot."

"But you wouldn't want me any other way, would you?"

"Do you want an honest answer?" she laughed.

"Maybe not."

"That's what I thought."

"Let's go," he said with a laugh. His grin faded when he looked at Bobby. "Want me to take her?"

"I think she'd like it," he answered, passing the infant to her father.

Alex smiled warmly and adjusted the diaper bag on her shoulder before walking through the door. "Come on, boys."

They followed her out the door, locking it behind them.

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To avoid any problems, Alex spoke with the doctor, then led Mike and Bobby to Carolyn's room. With each step, she could feel the tension radiating off of the two men. Finally they found the room, and Alex took the baby from Mike and gave him a gentle push toward the door.

He looked at her, apprehensive. "What the hell do I say?"

She touched his shoulder. "Just go in there and be with her. Tell her you love her. She needs you right now."

His eyes strayed toward Bobby, then back to her. Kissing Kiska's head, he opened the door and stepped into Carolyn's room.

Alex watched the door close, then looked around and spotted a bank of chairs. With a weary sigh, she sat down, holding the baby in her lap.

As was his habit, Bobby began to pace, trying to find a way to settle his overactive mind and ease some of the tension from his body. But every time he looked at Alex, an intense mixture of love and fear gripped his heart and squeezed, and the knot in his stomach tightened.

Alex watched him, and after several minutes of watching him pace, she patted the chair beside her and said, "Bobby, come sit down before you wear a hole in the floor."

Reluctantly, he sat down, but his agitation only increased and he felt like he was going to explode if he didn't move.

Alex gently picked up his arm and wrapped it around her. "Bobby, please... try to relax a little."

He ran his hand through his hair and tightened his arm around her. "I...wish I could."

"I know it's terrifying, Bobby." She snuggled into his side. "I'm just as scared as you are."

He shook his head, but in spite of himself, having her close calmed him a little. He held her to him protectively, his eyes darting around the open foyer as if daring anyone to try to harm her.

She rested her head against his shoulder and breathed deeply. His tension was rolling off of him in waves, and she made an attempt to distract him. "This will be this little girl's first Thanksgiving. And next year, she won't be the only rugrat running around."

The pounding in his head worsened and he gently kissed her temple before launching himself from the chair and pacing again.

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Carolyn felt as though a car was sitting on her chest, and the pain returned as awareness came back to her slowly. She groaned softly, her hand forming a fist as she forced herself to take a deep breath.

Mike closed his hand over her balled fist. "Good morning," he said, forcing himself to sound cheerful.

"M-Mike?..." She swallowed another groan and turned her hand in his, giving it a weak squeeze.

"Yeah, it's me."

She forced her eyes open, her hand tightening around his. "This i-is getting... ridiculous," she breathed.

"Tell me about it. Between you and Goren I'm getting ulcers."

She closed her eyes again and sighed softly. "H-how's our girl?"

"She's fine. Bobby and Alex have her."

She gave him a small nod. Finally she found her voice again. "Did they get her?"

"Oh, yeah...we got her. And Bobby got shot again doing it."

She turned her head, instantly regretting the movement. "What?"

"Easy there..."

She took another unsure breath. "What... happened?"

"She found out the baby was at the Deakins' place, but we beat her to the punch and were waiting there for her when she got there. That was a nice surprise. That woman is a vicious bitch, Carolyn."

She closed her eyes again. "Everyone's okay?"

"If you can call it that. Kiska and I are good anyway."

"W-why? Y-you said they had the baby." A band of pain tightened around her chest. "What... what else happened?"

"Calm down. Bobby and I confronted her. She had a gun point blank at his chest and I grabbed her. She pulled the trigger. Thank God he was vested. Alex is...upset and Bobby...he's a sight...and part of that is my fault." He stopped and took a deep breath, trying to stop rambling. "He went out to Rikers yesterday and confronted her alone again."

She concentrated on processing the information, glad for the distraction from the pain. "Idiot," she finally whispered.

"Maybe...he and I react to things differently. He lost a handle on it and ended up at Rikers confronting another psycho bitch. I lost a handle on it and I drew his blood. What a pair, huh?"

She relaxed her grip on his hand a little. "You two are... going to force me and Alex... to kill you both one day."

"That'd be doing you both a favor."

"Put you out of... your misery."

"More like putting us out of your misery." He sighed. "How well did you know her, Carolyn?"

"I... I knew- I thought I knew her well."

"Can you tell me...how real a threat is something she says? And...how much of a psychopath is her kid?"

"S-she never threatened me... before. A-and I still can't understand... why she's doing this."

"That's the million dollar question."

"B-but her son..." She groaned softly. "Which one?

"Uh...the oldest, I think. He didn't tell me the kid's name."

"C.J. H-he's... not a good kid. I t-tried to reach him, to help him. But he refused to... to even talk to me."

"Great."

"Why do you ask?"

"She said some...things that have Bobby all screwed up."

She opened her eyes again. "What did she say?"

"She's mad at him for playing her like he did, and she blames him for taking away her family. So now her kid is going to take away his."

"What?" She grunted as she pushed herself upright in the bed, breathing heavily. "D-don't... He will i-if he gets the chance..."

"Calm down, honey, or your doctors are not going to let me near you."

Her eyes widened, and she slowly lowered herself back against the pillows again. "Mike, there's something... wrong with him." She inhaled sharply and tried to settle her racing heart. "H-he broke... one of his brother's arms... because he wouldn't l-listen to him..."

"Aw, geez...He's out to get Bobby...through Alex and their baby. How far will the kid go to hurt him?"

"D-don't know..." She looked at him with horrified eyes. "Watch out... for her."

"Way ahead of you, honey. Bobby's scared to let her get two feet away from him. He's driving himself nuts. I couldn't calm him down...even after, well, a lot of scotch. I don't know what to do."

"I don't know either..."

"You ready for a little company?"

"Sure..." She shifted against the pillows and rested her hand on her stomach.

"Just brace yourself for the bruises on his face. I, uh, I hit him good."

"Okay."

He left the room and hunted down the couple he trusted most with his little girl.

Alex saw Mike approach them first, and she gently nudged Bobby, who was staring off into space.

Drawn from his thoughts, he looked at her blankly.

"Mike's here."

He turned to face his friend. "How is she?"

"Not bad. Look, I didn't tell her about the miscarriage. She's got enough to worry about. But I did ask her about Michelle's kid. She says he's a nut."

Bobby's tension increased and he looked at Alex, unable to keep the worry from his face.

She reached out and laid a gentle hand on his shoulder, squeezing it reassuringly.

He knew what she was trying to do, and he wished it was that easy to dispel his fears. Taking the baby from her lap, he helped her to her feet and handed Kiska to her father.

"Is she feeling up for visitors?" Alex asked gently.

"She says she is."

She nodded and kissed the baby's head. "I'm going to go check on her." She turned her troubled eyes on Mike. "Don't wait too long. That will be even worse." Then she walked past him and disappeared into Carolyn's room.

"How you doing, pal?"

Bobby's eyes remained on the door through which Alex had just gone. "How do I protect her, Mike?"

"I wish I had an answer for you."

"I don't know what to do. She doesn't seem to realize how serious this is."

"Alex was never one to cower to any threat."

"I...can't risk..." He trailed off, once again pacing. He had no idea what to do.

Alex walked quietly into the room, sitting down by Carolyn's bed. Her eyes were closed, and her breathing suggested to Alex that she had fallen asleep. So she sat back in the chair and waited for Mike and Bobby to come into the room.

Carolyn heard the door open, and she struggled to open her eyes again. "Mike?"

Alex raised her head and looked at her in surprise. "No, Carolyn. It's me. The boys are out in the hall."

"Oh."

Her lips relaxed into a smile. "How are you feeling, honey?"

"Honestly? Like I was hit by a bus," she groaned.

Alex nodded. "She rebroke your ribs." Her mouth twisted into a frown.

Carolyn's eyes fluttered closed. "Don't let him.. get near you, Alex. Let Bobby protect you." She coughed. "I know you hate for anyone to do that, but... he's seen C.J., and it might make him feel better."

Alex exhaled deeply. "He might. I just... hate this."

"I know you do," Carolyn said quietly. "I remember that fear. But until he's caught... you have to... be more careful than you normally would."

"I know."

"Then let him be protective. Don't fight it. Remember, it's not only you he's worried about." Her eyes shifted to Alex's swollen abdomen. "It's both of you."

Alex rested her forehead in her palm. "You're right. But when we get ahold of this bastard, I'm personally going to throw away the key."

Carolyn laughed softly, instantly wincing at the pain it stirred, and Alex leaned forward in the chair.

"Take it easy," she murmured, gently squeezing her arm. "It's going to hurt for a while."

Carolyn nodded wordlessly.

The door opened, and Alex looked at the two men, relief washing over her in strong waves.

Mike walked to the bed and set the baby in her mother's lap while Bobby walked over to stand behind Alex, resting his hands on her shoulders. Absently, his thumbs massaged the tense muscles on either side of her neck.

Alex leaned back and relaxed beneath her partner's touch, her eyes sliding shut. "Mm..."

He kissed the top of her head and continued with his ministrations, relaxing a little because she was close, and safe at the moment.

Carolyn smiled when Mike handed her their daughter, and she ran her hand over the little girl's head. "Hey, sweetheart," she murmured as she toyed with dark little curls.

At the sight of her mother, Kiska's face broke out in a bright smile, and she cooed, "Ma!"

Carolyn stared at her little girl for a moment, then looked at Mike in surprise. "When did she start saying Ma?" she asked, kissing their daughter's forehead.

"Oh, uh...last night."

Her lips curved in a content smile and she closed her eyes. The baby looked at her for a moment, then shoved her fist into her mouth and settled contently against Carolyn's chest.

"Carolyn?"

"What?"

Bobby gave her a gentle smile. His thumbs moved to massage Alex's neck as he said, "I-I'm sorry...for what happened."

She opened one eye and glared at him. "Don't even start that, Bobby," she said, lifting her hand and pointing her hand at him.

"Mike and I were right there...she...should never have gotten to you..."

She opened both eyes and stared at him. "If I remember correctly, you and Mike were the ones who pulled her off of me, and probably prevented more damage."

"Too little...too late," he insisted.

She turned her head and looked at Mike. "Help me out here."

He turned his hands over and gestured helplessly. "First of all, he doesn't listen to me. Secondly, he's right. We underestimated her. That got you hurt, and him shot...twice."

"It's not all you two. I should have been more vigilant."

Mike snorted. "Some protectors we are."

His comment made Bobby's mind trip over itself and he instinctively drew Alex closer.

Alex leaned back further into the chair to accommodate her partner's arms.

Carolyn glared at Mike. "None of us were expecting that. It's not your fault." She turned her head and looked at Bobby. "And it's not yours, either."

Bobby shifted his eyes away from hers and Mike found the blanket on the bed inordinately interesting.

Carolyn sighed and closed her eyes again. "What are we going to do with them, Alex?"

Alex quirked an eyebrow in amusement. "I'm still your accomplice, if you want."

"Sounds good."

Bobby pressed his cheek against her head and muttered, "If you're serious..."

Alex reached up and ran a hand through his hair. "I guess I'm not, for now. Besides, I could still get some use out of you yet."

Dipping his head closer, he gently nipped her ear and whispered, "Tell me you'd miss the sex."

"I was thinking of your cooking, but yeah, the sex is good, too," she purred.

He wished he could convince her to stay here, where he felt she was safe, but then he wondered if there was anywhere she could be safe from the reach of a madman. He sighed heavily. "I--I have to find him," he murmured to her.

Her good mood disappeared instantly. "What? Bobby..."

"You know I'm right."

She shook her head. "No, Bobby." She looked to Mike for help.

Mike averted his eyes, unwilling to tell her he agreed with him.

Alex pulled away from her partner's touch and leaned forward in the chair, breathing deeply.

Carolyn studied her, then said softly, "Alex, remember what I told you. This is it."

Alex remained silent for a few moments. "Doesn't mean I have to like it," she whispered, and Carolyn nodded.

"I know. But he has to."

When she pulled away from him, Bobby closed his eyes and shoved his hands into his pockets. Moving away, he stepped to the window and looked out over the city. He knew it wasn't going to go over well with her. He swallowed his despair.

Finally regaining her bearings, Alex looked at Mike and said quietly, "You're going with him?"

"Uh...I would...but..." His eyes shifted toward Bobby, who turned to look at him, his eyes dark and stormy. Mike looked away and answered, "No."

Fear gripped her heart, and Alex pushed herself out of the chair and left the room. She stepped out of the room and walked down the hall. But a cool voice gave her pause.

"Detective Eames?"

A shiver went down her spine, and she slowly turned around. "Yes?"

A young man smiled charmingly at her, and Alex did not like the look in his eyes. "I've been looking for you."

TBC...

A/N: Oooh... evil cliffhanger! Mwahaha! Now, while ya'll review, I'm gonna go hide under my sink!


	12. Nightmares And Loss

Well, since ya'll were so wonderful about reviewing, here's an early Thanksgiving surprise... an update! We were both very pleased about how this scene went, and we hope ya'll will be too. So read, enjoy, and please remember to review! Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!

Disclaimer: Nout ours! Not ours! (checks turkey) Nope, still not ours!

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

The resemblance was uncanny to Michelle, and her eyes flitted to Carolyn's door. But when she took a step, he shook his head. "Uh uh. Don't even think about it."

Her hand went instinctively to her belly, and she glared at him. "You must be C.J."

He nodded. "Your friends tore my family apart."

Her mind kicked into gear, and she calmly said, "Why do you think that?"

"Because your partner stole my baby sister!" he snapped.

Her mind drifted to the small handgun holstered to her ankle, and she hoped that she wouldn't have to resort to it. For once, she prayed that her partner's way would be right. "C.J., my partner didn't take your sister. She's not your sister. She's my friend's daughter."

C.J. began to shake. "You're lying!" he hissed.

"No, I'm not. I know you don't believe me, but your mother lied to you, C.J. She took that little girl from her parents. You know that." She thought for a moment. "You were there when Carolyn brought her home. You know I'm right."

"I- no! She's my sister! Mom said so!"

"I know, I know," she soothed. "I know she did. But you know that she lied to you, and I'm telling you the truth."

He continued shaking his head, muttering, "No... no."

She took a quiet breath. "C.J., do you really want to hurt me, or my baby?"

He stared at her and tried to look menacing. "My mom said that your partner did this, and I should make him pay by killing you!" He took a step forward, but Alex noticed the slight unsteadiness.

She looked at him sadly. "But that wouldn't fix anything."

"You don't know what it would fix!"

"Yes, I do. I know that hurting me would not help you. Right now, you have a choice, C.J. You can hurt me and go to jail for the rest of your life."

His eyes widened a little at that.

"Or, you can stop right here and go back home. You can walk away free. It's your choice." She tilted her head to the side. "But if you do try to hurt me, my partner and his friend are in that room right over there. They'll be here in a second, and more than likely, they _will_ kill you. I don't want that to happen, because I can see that you're just a confused kid."

C.J.'s hands started shaking, and he said quietly, "But my mom said I have to, or they would kill me-"

"You don't have to do this," she interrupted him. "She's in jail, and she's going to stay there for the rest of her life. But it's not her life you're destroying if you hurt me. It's yours."

He took a step backwards, raising his hands in the air as a tear fell. "I never wanted to hurt anyone. Especially not a baby."

Alex closed the gap between them and laid a gentle hand on his shoulder. "I know, because you're a decent person. Better than you think."

He slowly shrugged her hand away and wiped furiously at the tears. "Am I gonna go to jail?"

"Are you going to keep trying to hurt my partner?"

He shook his head slowly. "N-no."

Carolyn's door opened, and Alex jerked her head up.

Bobby came out into the hallway and froze, a look of horror on his face. But he hesitated less than a moment and his hand went to the holster on his hip.

She shot him a look, then said loud enough for him to hear. "C.J., what are you going to choose?"

He looked up at her. "I'm not going to jail," he said stubbornly. "Then he quietly added, "I'm sorry."

She nodded and smiled gently at him. "Good. I'm glad."

Bobby looked from his partner to the boy in front of her, his hand still resting on the butt of his weapon, his heart and head pounding mercilessly.

She motioned to her partner. "It's okay, Bobby."

C.J. looked at the mountain of a detective fearfully, and he suddenly felt like an eight year old boy again.

Slowly moving his hand away from his gun, he kept his eyes on the boy as he advanced to Alex's side, ready to act if he had to.

Alex watched her partner. "Bobby, it's okay," she repeated, but the young man looked like he was about to be sick. "C.J., you need to tell Detective Goren what you just told me."

He dropped his eyes to the floor. "I... I d-didn't want to hurt anybody, especially a baby. I'm really sorry... My mom, she told me that it was your fault my dad was dead and my sister was gone. She said that the only right thing to do was to hurt you back. I... I'm sorry."

Bobby frowned. "I had nothing to do with what happened to your father. And the baby...can you imagine how her parents felt when she was missing?"

He hung his head. "I didn't think about it..." Then he raised his head and asked, "Is there any way I can make this right?"

"I-I don't know, C.J..." Bobby shifted nervously, his body taut with apprehension.

He chewed on his lip. "My brothers... I know why..."

Bobby looked at Alex, frowning. "Why?" he repeated.

He leaned back against the wall. "I know why she took them, and where she took them from," he whispered.

"Keep going," he encouraged.

"She... Ma always said it was my fault... cause something happened when I was born, and she couldn't have kids." Tears fell as he pulled out a wallet and began pointing at pictures. "This is Jack," he murmured, pointing to the first picture. "She took him from a daycare center in Phoenix, right before we moved to California."

Anger flared deep inside Bobby as the young man talked. He looked at Alex, met her eyes and saw his anger mirrored there.

He continued in a subdued voice. "Elliot... she took him from a hospital nursery the day after he was born. That was in Laredo, before we moved to Alabama." His finger dropped to another picture. "That's Dalton... I don't know how she took him, but I remember that an hour after she brought him home, we moved back out west, to Colorado. And Brad... He was my dad's favorite..."

"Because he had your dad's name," Alex said slowly.

C.J. nodded and tucked his wallet back into his pocket. "I really am sorry," he murmured, wiping at the tears that trailed down his cheeks.

Alex looked at Bobby.

He met her eyes, uncertain and anxious, still ready to protect her if he had to.

She spoke again, softly. "C.J., this is really serious."

He nodded. "I know." He slid further down the wall, until he hit the floor. Then he buried his face in his arms. "I just wanna go home," he whispered, his voice muffled by his arms.

Alex moved closer, until she was standing in front of him. "C.J., do you have any weapons?" she asked firmly.

He looked up and nodded shakily. "A g-gun." He suddenly looked sickened. "My mom gave it to me." He took it out of his pocket, discharging the magazine before he handed it warily to Bobby.

Bobby's hard look did not soften as he took the gun and slipped it into his pocket, sliding the magazine into the other one.

C.J. stood up quietly, then held his hands out. "I know," he said flatly. "Just please... don't let my mom find out. She... She already wants to kill me."

Bobby frowned and looked at Alex. Looking back at C.J., he said, "She wants to kill you?"

He nodded. "I... don't think she ever cared about me. And when she told me to hurt Detective Eames, she said that if I screwed up, she'd find me and kill me."

"She's not going anywhere, C.J. She's going to stay right where she is for a very long time. The court takes it very seriously when a person tries to kill a cop, and she shot me twice. Now...conspiracy to commit murder...of another cop..." He shook his head. Then he raised a finger and added, "She told me it was all your idea, that she had no control over you."

He shook his head and raised his shirt, exposing the scars on his abdomen. "N-no, she's lying," he whispered.

Alex pressed her fist to her mouth and cursed softly. "She did all of that to you?"

He nodded. "She stopped when Carolyn was staying with us, for a little while, anyways."

Fury welled up in Bobby like lava in a volcano. He understood abuse and his own body bore the scars of a difficult childhood. But he did not trust himself to speak and he stepped away, still unable to get his agitation under control.

Alex reached out and placed her hand on her partner's shoulder, squeezing it gently. "Bobby, he's a kid," she said quietly. "It's your call."

Silently, he unbuttoned his shirt, turning to reveal the deep bruising that C.J.'s mother had caused across his chest. "She tried to kill me, twice. How much of a hold does this woman have on you, C.J.?"

He stared silently at the bruises that marred the bigger man's chest. "She hurt you, too..." He swallowed thickly. "She's my mother. I want her to get help. But... I don't want to be around her."

"She may be beyond help. I...I saw a lot of hatred, a lot of rage...and not a drop of remorse."

He bowed his head. "She wasn't always like that," he whispered. "When I was little, I remember... her being different."

Bobby nodded. "My-my mother was different when I was little, too."

"Really?"

He nodded. "Yes. She...changed, when I was seven."

"I was th-three." He shook his head. "I miss that mom sometimes."

"I know the feeling," he replied honestly.

C.J. leaned back against the wall with a heavy sigh and shoved his hands into his pockets. "I never used to believe that... that someone actually knew. I thought it was my fault," he admitted quietly as he slid to the floor, because it was the truth.

Bobby rubbed a hand across the back of his neck. "I thought that, too. I spent my childhood being accused of making my mother sick, or of being Satan..." He shifted uncomfortably at the difficult memories.

Alex reached out and laid a gentle hand on his back, while C.J. said bitterly, "It got really bad when I was five. She started... blaming me for my dad disappearing and cause she couldn't have kids."

He felt the tension start to ease as he realized the threat to his partner was diminishing as he connected with the young man sitting on the floor. When Alex touched his back, he looked at her, finally allowing her to see the pain his childhood had inflicted on him. Then he squatted down in front of C.J. "You realize it wasn't your fault your mother changed, any more than it was my fault my mother did. It-it's part of the disease."

He clasped his hands in his lap and let his head fall back against the wall. "I... I s-still love her," he whispered, twisting his hands in his lap. Then his mouth twisted in a frown. "How messed up is that? I'm twenty, and I still let her order me around!"

Bobby let a soft smile of understanding touch his face. "I'm forty-six, and I still let her have her way. Sh-she died a few months ago. I had a very hard time letting her go. As difficult as she made my life, I still loved her, because she was my mom."

C.J. hung his head. A few seconds passed before he said quietly, "What about my bro- the others? Are you gonna find their parents?"

"The local authorities in North Carolina and the FBI are working on that. It's out of our jurisdiction. But the information you have about where each boy came from will be a big help to get those boys back home."

He gave a small nod. "I'm g-glad. She wasn't... as bad as she was to me, but she h-hurt them, too."

"They're young...and young kids are resilient. If they get therapy right away, they'll be okay."

"Good." He slowly pushed himself to his feet, then said in a quiet voice, "I'll miss them."

"I understand that."

He wiped his nose, then pulled out his wallet again. "When Carolyn was s-staying with us, I..." He turned a little red. "My girlfriend had my baby. I n-never told my mother..." His voice dropped to a whisper. "She would've k-killed her." He looked at Alex, and fresh tears filled his eyes. "Haven't even seen her." Shifting his eyes to Bobby, he put on a resilient voice and said, "Can you protect them?"

"Where are they?"

"Back home... in Murphy."

"We can contact the authorities there," Alex said. "But she's going to jail for a long time."

"But she can still get to me!"

Bobby sighed and buried a hand in his hair for a moment. "I-if they were here, we might be able to help. But we have no jurisdiction in North Carolina. I can talk to Sgt. Coulter...C.J., your best bet may be to leave Murphy, start over again somewhere else...I, uh, I have contacts...who can help you start over..."

He looked fearful, but a little hope poured over him. "What about Candace and Lilly? If she finds out about them..."

"How would she find out, C.J.?"

He ran a shaking hand through her hair. "I d-don't know. No one knows that she's m-mine, except for Candace's family. B-but she could... f-find out."

Bobby looked at his partner. "How willing would she be to relocate with you?"

He smiled a little. "I think she m-might go... She knows how my mother is, and she knows I want to be there for my daughter."

"We can manage that."

He gave a relieved sigh, then looked at Alex with sad eyes. "Thank you," he whispered.

She smiled kindly at him. "You're welcome. And I'm glad you made the right choice today."

"M-me too."

Bobby handed the young man a card. "Call me in a couple of days. "

C.J. took the card and tucked it into his pocket. "I will."

"And stay away from the prison."

He nodded. "I don't... I don't think I could go, a-anyways. Thank you." Then he looked down for a moment before looking up at Bobby again. "Could you... tell Carolyn I'm... I'm sorry? For everything."

Bobby nodded. "I'll tell her."

Alex's hand closed around her partner's arm, and she rested her forehead against his shoulder for a moment before smiling at C.J. again. Then she walked back into Carolyn's room, knowing that her partner could handle things from there.

Bobby watched her until the door closed behind her. Then he looked back at C.J. "Where are you staying?"

"A Holiday Inn near here. I'm..." He reached into his pocket and found a small pencil and piece of paper. Then he scratched his number onto the paper. "Here. This is my cell phone number..." He gave the big detective a small smile. "I won't go anywhere, but I would like to hear f-from you, about that relocation for me and my girls."

Bobby nodded. "I'll make the calls I need to make tonight and see what my buddies can do."

Relief trickled through him, and he reached into his pocket and said, "Can I g-go call her?"

"You're free to go. You didn't do anything wrong."

He exhaled deeply and let his head fall back for a few moments. Then he smiled timidly at Bobby and said, "Thank you." Then he walked down the hall.

Bobby watched him go, then leaned back against the wall and closed his eyes.

Alex stepped into Carolyn's room and leaned against a wall, letting out a breath she didn't know she had been holding. Her entrance caught Mike and Carolyn's attention, and Carolyn asked quietly, "Are you okay?"

Alex nodded. "I think I am, now."

"What's wrong?" Mike asked.

She sighed deeply and rested her hand over her belly. "C.J. was in the hallway."

"The kid who's gunning for you?"

"Not anymore." She wiped at her eyes. "He was just a very confused kid under his psychotic mother's control."

Mike shook his head. "Why are the psychos always attracted to you and your partner?"

She couldn't help but smirk. "Jealous? You can have them any time." Then she turned to Carolyn and said quietly, "He said... he said he's sorry, Carolyn. About everything."

Carolyn shut her eyes and nodded slowly.

When several minutes ticked by and Bobby still didn't return to the room, Alex excused herself and walked back into the hall. He was still leaning against the wall, and she walked over and rested a gentle hand on his shoulder. "Hey."

Slowly, he opened his eyes and looked at her. "Hey, what?' he asked softly.

She smiled gently. "Good, you're still on Earth." Her hand went up, and she gently touched his cheek.

"I'm so wound up," he admitted. "I don't know what the hell to do."

Her fingers continued their path. "But at least now you know we'll be fine," she murmured. "All of us."

"Do you know how she's going to react when she finds out I had anything to do with taking C.J. from her?"

She placed both hands on his chest and looked up into his dark eyes. "Bobby, please tell me you're not planning on going there again. Because if you do, that's the only way I can see her hurting you again."

"Sh-she married her brother...something tells me, in her mind, her son was next."

"You're probably right. But we got to him first."

"And she's going to flip out over that."

"But there's precautions that can be taken. She can have phone and mail privileges revoked, hell, she can be put in isolation. And if you don't try to talk to her again in the jail, she can't touch you. Or us."

He shook his head. "She's not done with me. And we can't avoid her at the trial..."

She reached up and framed his face with her hands. "Bobby..." Her lip trembled, and she sighed and rested her head against his chest.

"You know I'm right...and I don't want you anywhere near that courthouse when she's there."

She pulled away from him with fire in her eyes. "You're not going there alone, Bobby."

"Mike can go with me."

"I don't care. I'm going with you."

He shook his head. "No."

Carolyn's words flooded her mind, and she knew that she wasn't going to get anywhere with him. His mind was made up, and just as sweet and loving as he was, he was also just as stubborn. _Let him protect you._ She sighed quietly and tucked her head under his chin.

"Alex, I won't testify, if that will keep you out of that courtroom."

"Damn it, Bobby..." Her entire body shook, and she finally said, "Fine. I won't go."

He hated when she was mad at him, but he couldn't live with putting her in harm's way, especially now, with so much at stake. "Don't be mad," he said suddenly.

"I'm not. But I swear, if you come back with so much as a scratch on you... I don't care how good the sex is. I will kill you."

"You know I can't make any promises. But I'll try."

She wiped at a stray tear and shivered again. "Okay."

"I-I don't mean to upset you," he said softly, fingering her hair. "But I have to...to keep you safe. I have to..."

"And I want to keep you safe."

"You don't understand..."

"No, you don't understand. This past year, I've nearly lost you more times than I want to remember. And it hurt. I'm... I don't want to take care of this baby on my own, Bobby. I don't."

He ran a hand through his hair, frustrated. "And if anything happened to either of you, especially if it was something I caused...it would destroy me."

"And you don't think it would hurt us just as bad to lose you?"

He closed his eyes, then murmured, "I'm not going anywhere."

"Good, because I won't let you," she replied, echoing an old promise.

Opening one eye, he raised an eyebrow. "Let me?"

"I'm not going to let you leave," she repeated, leaning up to brush her lips against his. "Remember, you told me the first time I said that that you didn't want to go anywhere."

"And I don't."

"Good." She kissed him softly, the pads of her fingers massaging his scalp gently as she deepened the kiss. He relaxed against her, and she hummed contently before slowly releasing him. Her hands stayed on his waist, and she smiled gently at him before disappearing back into Carolyn's room, but not before she saw the content smile on his face.

CICICICICICICICICICICICICICICICICICICICICICICICICICI

Carolyn smiled as she carefully settled down on the bed beside Mike, who was sleeping soundly on his side. She looked over at the crib, then gently pulled Mike's large hand to rest just below her breast. He didn't stir, and she closed her eyes and gave into sleep.

_She was running. She didn't know where, or what she was running from, but she knew that she had to keep going._

_Suddenly she reached a door, and as though her actions were being guided by something else, she reached out and turned the knob._

_A bright light assaulted her eyes, and when her eyes adjusted, Carolyn saw a blue bassinet on the other side of the room. Instinctively, she moved to the bassinet, but before she could reach it, a person stepped out of the shadows._

"No," _Carolyn whispered, moving faster._ "No!"

_Michelle smirked and reached into the bassinet, then picked the baby up and cradled him against her chest._ "Too late, Carolyn," _she sneered, and Carolyn froze where she was._

"Don't, Michelle!" _Carolyn pleaded, unable to take another step._ "Don't hurt him!"

_Michelle laughed and kicked the bassinet over, then disappeared into the shadows again._

_Finally able to move, Carolyn chased after her. But when the darkness faded, she found herself in another room, this time with Michelle standing across the floor from her. And Kiska and the baby were in her arms._

_The door slammed behind her, and Carolyn raised her hands in the air_. "Michelle... please. Don't hurt them. They're just babies," _she said pleadingly._

"And you're not fit to be a mother!" _Michelle hissed, stepping backwards._

"Michelle, please!" _Carolyn sobbed._ "They're my children. Please, give them back to me!"

_Michelle just laughed stonily, and the children in her arms began crying._

_Carolyn watched in horror as Michelle then destroyed the two most precious things in her life, and she was powerless to stop her. Falling to her knees, she screamed, a mixture of agony and a sense of loss of which she had never known._

Another scream passed her lips, and she sat upright in the bed, her heart pounding ruthlessly in her chest.

Disoriented, Mike sat up, turned over and reached for his weapon.

Lathered in sweat and trembling violently, Carolyn got out of the bed and stumbled over to Kiska's crib. At the sight of their daughter sleeping peacefully with her thumb in her mouth, she crossed her arms over the rail and buried her head there, unable to keep her tears at bay anymore. "God, no..." she whispered, wiping the beads of sweat away from her forehead. Her stomach lurched and her healing ribs protested, but she remained where she was.

The sleep cleared from his head and he put his gun away. Climbing out of bed, he made his way over to her. "Hey, what happened?" he asked, but he hesitated to touch her, not knowing what was wrong.

She shivered and buried one hand in her hair. "N-nightmares," she whispered hoarsely.

"Anything I can do for you?"

She shook her head. "No." Then she turned around and hugged him, resting her head on his chest.

Then he knew it was all right to hold her and he did. "I'm sorry," he murmured into her hair. "I should never have told you."

"You had to. He was our baby." She gripped him tighter.

"I didn't have to. You never had to know."

She shook her head and let more tears fall. "I s-saw him," she finally whispered, shutting her eyes tightly.

"Him? Him who?"

She swallowed, attempting to dispel the lump in her throat. "In my dream... She had them. She had Kiska, and our son."

"Michelle?"

She nodded stiffly, and she could barely make herself utter the words, "She k-killed them. And I couldn't stop her."

He chewed on his lip. "She's not going to get to you or Kiska. I'll make sure of that...and I can get help with one phone call, day or night."

She slowly pulled away from him and turned back to the crib. "She's so small, Mike," she murmured. "Why would anyone want to hurt her?"

"It's not about hurting her, baby. It's about striking out at you...a case of 'If I can't have her, no one can.'"

She reached down and lightly brushed her fingertips along the baby's little back.

"Come on back to bed, Carolyn. The baby is fine."

She reluctantly moved away from the crib and carefully laid down on her back, tucking one hand under her head.

Mike watched her, and he sighed, frustrated. He had no idea how to help her or even how to deal with her half the time when she got this way. Sliding back into bed, he turned over, knowing if he tried to connect with her, she'd lash out. Maybe he needed to call Olivet, to give her a heads up.

When he slid into the bed, she carefully moved closer to him and rested her hand on his arm. "I used to think that that woman was my friend," she whispered. "But now..." She carefully rolled onto her side, facing Mike. "I'm afraid, Mike."

He turned to look at her. "We can move, if you want. You know I'll protect you, don't you?"

She didn't even have to think about answering that. "Yes."

"So what do you want to do?"

She looked at the crib, then at Mike again. After thinking for several long minutes, she said, "She knows where we live. She's been here, and she'll try again. I want to move."

"Then we'll move." And the thought of relocating, and everything involved with it, made his head spin.

Her eyelids were growing heavy, and she rested her hand on his chest.

He wrapped a protective arm around her and looked up at the ceiling through the darkness.

TBC...

A/N: Well, we hope ya'll enjoyed this update. And no, delirious, we're not blond or Aussie. We're just evil from time to time. Review if ya'll love turkey, pumpkin pies, and BA and MCness! Yay, BA and MCness!


	13. Merry Christmas, Baby

All right, everyone. This chapter is about a month and a half or so after the last chapter ends. So it's a Christmas chapter! Yay! It's the longest chapter in the story so far, and it's got lots of fluff 'n stuff, with a bit of angst thrown in for good measure. And we had to rewrite this, but we're proud of where it went. There's also plenty of MikeKiska moments, of course. Cause they're adorable. Well, for those of you who aren't still in turkey induced comas, enjoy, and please remember to review!

Disclaimer: See previous chapters.

BAMCBAMCBAMCBAMCBAMC

Alex hummed softly to herself as she carefully took the turkey out of the oven. Christmas had always been her favorite time of the year for many reasons, and now she had two more reasons to add to that list. But one of those reasons was hiding in their bedroom, lost in his thoughts.

Her eyes drifted over to the corner of the apartment, where a small, but brightly lit Christmas tree sat. She sighed softly and took her oven mitts off, then brushed her hands together.

Bobby was still in their room, so she took the time to go to the closet in the hall and open the door. Listening for noises from the bedroom, she opened the door and dug through to the bottom, where a shopping bag had been carefully hidden. Grinning to herself, she picked up the bag and carried it over to the tree.

Reaching into the bag, she pulled out the pile of brightly wrapped presents of assorted sizes and set them under the tree. She had bought them around Thanksgiving, and was surprised that he had not even bothered to snoop around for them. But then, for as long as she could remember, he had never been that big of a fan of Christmas.

She arranged the presents under the tree, then dug around for the final item in the bag. "There you are," she muttered to herself, producing a bright red hat with a little white ball on top. She put the hat on her head, then folded the bag and threw it away.

Bobby stood at the window, looking out into the neighborhood below. A young couple across the street were out walking their dog, and an assortment of children were playing on the mounds of snow piled beside the sidewalk. He remember playing the same games with his brother a lifetime ago.

His thoughts drifted to Carmel Ridge, where he had spent every holiday since his discharge from the army. Now...he was going to have to change locations to the Brooklyn cemetery where his mother was finally at peace. But him? No. There was no peace for him.

He didn't look forward to excusing himself from the house, not when Alex looked forward so much to the holiday. But he just didn't have the heart for it, and he felt his presence would be harder on her than his absence would be.

Alex peered into their bedroom, where Bobby was staring out the window, and her heart sank. She knew that this particular Christmas would be hard for him, since it was his first without his mother. Biting her lip, she walked back to the tree and picked up one of the packages. Then she carried it into the bedroom, tucking it under her arm before she approached him. "Bobby?"

He turned from the window to look at her, being careful to mask his emotions from her.

She smiled and offered the package to him. "Merry Christmas."

He looked at the package with some confusion. Her offering was unexpected. "What did you do?" he asked softly.

She tilted her head and sat down on the bed, resting one hand on her ever growing belly. "It's called a present, baby." She nodded towards the door. "You have a few more under the tree that I managed to keep hidden."

He was honestly baffled. "Hidden? What ever made you think it would occur to me to look for anything? And what do you mean by...a few?"

Now it was her turn to be surprised. "Bobby, in the years you've known me, when have you ever had a birthday or Christmas where you didn't get a present?" She smiled. "This year, you just get a few more." She shook a finger at him and said in a mock stern voice, "But you can't open the rest of them until later."

He raised his hands, then her words registered with him. "What's later?"

"I'm not telling you. Open your present."

"Uh, could I convince you to open yours first? I mean...I got you some things for the baby...but there's one special present just for you."

Her lips parted a little in surprise. "All right."

He walked to the closet and pulled a small package from the pocket of his blue suit. Sitting beside her on the bed, he placed it in her hand.

She looked at him curiously, then opened the package. Inside, nestled among cotton, was a blue diamond solitaire, hanging on a gold chain. She gasped softly, then carefully picked it up. "Oh, Bobby... it's beautiful..."

"Just like you," he said softly.

She turned slightly and wrapped her arms around him in a tight hug. "I love it. Thank you," she murmured, kissing him softly.

"You like diamonds," he said simply. "And you no longer have to worry about keeping warm at night."

A tear escaped, and she handed him the necklace, then turned with her back to him. "Will you?" she asked softly, sweeping her hair up with one hand.

He took the chain and fastened it around her neck. "Beautiful," he whispered, kissing the bare skin where her neck and shoulder met. "And flawless."

She turned around and set the box down, then rested her hand over his. "Thank you," she said softly. Then she nodded toward the package in his lap. "Now open yours. I think you'll really enjoy it."

Tentatively, he opened the package. Turning the book over in his hand, he stared at the cover for a moment. "A-A Study in Scarlet," he murmured as he reverently opened the cover. "A...first edition?" He looked at her. "Alex..." He trailed off and was quiet for a long moment, studying her face. "Thank you." He had no idea what else to say.

She smiled, pleased. "You're welcome, Bobby. I wasn't... exactly sure what to get you, and then I found this..." She motioned to the book. "I'm glad you like it."

"I...love it..." He turned it over in his hands. "I, um, I had a third edition..."

She reached over and closed her hand over his. "Now that I know you like this, I'm sure you'll like the others." She pressed her lips lightly against his forehead.

Again he had no idea what to say. He kissed her gently. "You are...you didn't have to do that." He rested his hand over her stomach. "Nothing you could ever give me would match what you have in here."

"But I wanted to." She picked up the wrapping paper and tossed it into a wastebasket, then smiled at him. "I love to spoil you," she murmured, running her hand along his arm.

"You do, Alex. You always have."

She blushed a little, then rested against him. "Good."

He shifted uncomfortably. "Um, please...don't be mad at me..."

"What?" Her smile disappeared. "What did you do?"

"I, uh, I need to go out for a little while."

She looked at him. "How long?" she asked quietly.

"I...I don't know. I have to go...to Brooklyn."

She sighed heavily, but part of her understood. He needed to escape for a while. She could find something to do. Mike and Carolyn would be coming over for a while with the baby. She didn't necessarily like it, but she understood. "Okay," she replied softly.

"I'll...call you..."

She nodded and kissed his cheek. "I'll be waiting."

He gave her a soft, lingering kiss, then rose from the bed, grabbed his jacket and left.

She watched him go, fingering the pendant around her neck. Then she stood up and walked back into the kitchen. Turning on the radio to a Christmas station, she wiped at her eyes, then put the final touches on the turkey.

She didn't know how much time had passed, but soon there was a knock on the door, and she walked over and looked through the peephole before opening it.

"Hey. Merry Christmas," she greeted Carolyn and Mike brightly. But then she saw the baby, and she rolled her eyes and took Kiska from Mike, settling her on her hip. "Mike..."

"What?"

"Don't even try, Alex," Carolyn laughed. "He won't even listen to me."

"Hey, it's cold outside."

"And she can't lower her arms!" Alex said in exasperation.

Carolyn rolled her eyes at Mike. "Like I said, he doesn't listen."

"But she's _warm_."

Alex stepped away from the door and carried the baby to the couch. Then she set her down and began peeling away a layer of clothing. The baby laughed when Alex made a face at her, and Carolyn joined them on the couch.

Kiska looked around and said, "Umba?"

Mike followed her example and said, "Yeah, where is Bobby?"

"He... went to Brooklyn for a little while. But he's going to call me, and he should be back in a few hours," she explained, setting the baby on the carpeted floor. Kiska immediately spotted a toy and began crawling toward it, giggling happily.

"Brooklyn? What's in Brooklyn?"

"His mother," she said quietly.

"His...oh. Shit."

She nodded. Then she turned her head and looked at Carolyn. "Do you have it?"

Carolyn grinned. "Yeah," she answered, motioning to a bag resting by her feet.

Mike sat down on the floor with the baby, somewhat subdued, and rolled a ball to her.

Kiska laughed and batted at the ball, sending it toward Carolyn's feet.

Carolyn smiled and leaned over carefully, then rolled the ball back to Kiska. "Good job, baby girl," she praised her daughter. Kiska giggled and managed to roll the ball back to Mike.

Mike couldn't help noticing the baby kept looking around. Whenever they came over to visit, Bobby was always her best playmate. He tried bouncing the ball to her, but he bounced it a little too high and a little too far and it bounced off her head and rolled to the kitchen.

Kiska went scrambling after the ball, giggling. He crawled after her.

Carolyn watched Mike and their daughter, and Alex noticed the wistful look on her friend's face. But she chose not to say anything. Instead, she asked cheerily, "How does she like the snow?"

"She eats the snow," Mike answered.

Alex laughed. "Just wait until she's big enough to run around in it."

"She'll be running Mike into the ground," Carolyn said with a smile.

Alex leaned closer to Carolyn and said softly, "Were you able to get it?"

Carolyn peered over to Mike, then answered just as quietly, "It took weeks, but yes, I got it."

"He'll love it."

Carolyn didn't look so certain. "I hope you're right."

Alex nudged Carolyn and said, "Maybe you should go ahead and give it to him."

Carolyn twisted her hands in her lap, then reached for the brown paper bag by her feet. "Mike, come here and bring the baby," she called.

"Hey, hey...give me that..." Mike grabbed the fistful of potato peelings the baby had fished out of the trash when he turned to get a drink out of the refrigerator.

"I think she's hungry," he said as he carried her out of the kitchen, fishing a potato peel from her mouth.

Alex laughed and plucked a potato peel from the baby's fist. "She probably is."

She brushed past Mike, then fished a bowl and a jar of baby food out of one of the cabinets. "Here," she said, offering him the items.

He gave her a smirk. "Thanks."

He sat her down on the floor in front of him. "How is it that when Bobby feeds her, all the food gets into her belly, and when I do it, half of it ends up all over me?"

"No idea," Alex answered, watching in interest as Mike spent the next fifteen minutes attempting to feed the baby, who was much more interested in playing with him than eating the food he was trying to feed her.

Carolyn continued staring at the bag in her lap, as though the contents of it would leap out and bite her.

Finally the jar was empty, and Alex took the baby, then leaned down by Carolyn's head and said, "Do it." Then she said slightly louder, "I'm going to go clean her up."

"Want to clean me up, too?" Mike asked with a grin.

"Shut up," she snarked, carrying the giggling baby into the bathroom.

When Alex was gone, Carolyn looked at Mike, then said shakily, "I... got you a present, hon."

"What are you scared of?"

She shrugged, then dug around in the bag. "I guess I'm just nervous." Finding the right package, she handed it to him and said, "Merry Christmas."

He opened the thin box and pulled out a piece of paper. Unfolding it, he stared at the document, then he looked at her. "You put me on her birth certificate..." he muttered, feeling awed.

She ran a hand through her hair. "Yeah... I wanted to do it sooner, but it just seemed... right to do it now."

He nodded in agreement and leaned over to kiss her. "Thank you, Carolyn."

She let out a breath and smiled, then returned the kiss. "You're welcome, hon." Her smile widened, and she leaned back against the couch. "I... also had her name changed," she added, nodding to the paper he held in his hands.

"Kiska Logan...I like the sound of that."

Grinning, she folded the bag shut again and set it beside her. "I do, too."

Alex walked back into the living room, sitting Kiska in Mike's lap before she sat down beside Carolyn. "Mike, did you know she likes to try to eat the washcloths?" she asked in amusement.

"Washcloths are her favorite snack."

She chuckled and looked at the paper he was studying. "I see you gave it to him," she said to Carolyn, who nodded.

"I did."

Alex smiled. "I told you."

Carolyn held up her hands in a gesture of surrender. "I know, I know."

There was a loud knock on the door, and Alex took a deep breath. "My family's here," she announced, pushing herself to her feet.

Carolyn looked at Mike, while Alex went to the door and looked through the peephole before opening the door. "Merry Christmas," she greeted them cheerfully.

Regina stepped through the door first and pulled her sister into a hug. "Hey, kid," she said affectionately, and Alex rolled her eyes.

"Where's my nephew?" she asked, ignoring her sister's nickname. Regina nodded to Aaron, who had Matthew on his hip.

Aaron placed Matt on the floor and watched with a smile as the little boy threw his arms around Alex's legs and hugged her. Matt was always the first person his aunt looked for at family gatherings, and Matt was the same way.

"Hey, little man," she said happily, leaning down carefully and kissing the top of Matt's head. Looking up, she pulled the door open further and said, "Come on in, everyone. The turkey's done."

John Eames leaned in and kissed his daughter's cheek. Lightly touching her pregnant belly, he asked, "How are you feeling, sweetheart?"

"Huge," she answered with a smile.

"You are not," Regina scoffed, and Alex rolled her eyes and led everyone into her living room.

Alex nodded toward Mike and Carolyn. "This is Mike Logan and Carolyn Barek, and their little girl, Kiska. Mike works with Bobby and me." She turned to Carolyn and Mike and said, "This is my dad, John, my sister Regina, her husband Aaron, and their son, Matthew."

Regina smiled at the two, then knelt down beside Mike, who was holding Kiska in his lap. "She's beautiful."

Carolyn smiled from her seat on the couch by Mike. "Thank you. She looks like her dad," she stated, smiling proudly.

Mike snorted, teasing, "She looks like her dad? Have I met him?"

Regina looked at them in amusement.

Carolyn rolled her eyes. "Yes, Mike. He's the pizza delivery boy," she said sarcastically.

"That explains a lot," he smirked.

She reached out and lightly smacked the back of his head. "Idiot."

He laughed and watched as Matt approached them, looking at the baby. As the youngest of the Eames cousins until Alex delivered her baby, he wasn't used to being around babies.

Kiska looked at him with wide eyes, then started laughing.

Matt looked around. "What's she laughin' at?"

Carolyn smiled. "She's laughing because she likes you, Matt," she said reassuringly.

Alex walked up behind her nephew and rested her hand on the top of his head. "She can't talk yet, Matt. But I bet she'd like to play with you."

The little boy smiled from ear to ear. "Okay!"

Carolyn stood up and took Kiska from Mike's lap, then picked up the ball that had been sitting in the corner for a while. Then she carefully sat Kiska on the floor and handed Matt the ball. "Just roll the ball to her," she encouraged, taking a step back.

Alex smiled at the two children, then stepped by Mike and walked into the kitchen.

John followed her. "Is everything all right, honey?"

She nodded and smiled. "Everything's fine."

"Where is Bobby?"

"In Brooklyn. This is his first Christmas without his mother," she said with a sad smile.

"So he's spending it alone in Brooklyn?"

She nodded. "It's something he thinks he needs to do, and I wasn't about to tell him he couldn't."

"What is he doing?" he asked hesitantly.

"Visiting her grave." She started busying her hands. "He's spent every holiday for years visiting Carmel Ridge."

John stood there in silence. "Are you sure it was all right for him to go alone, Alex? The holidays can be a very difficult time for a man like him."

"I know him, Dad. If I push, he'll just run."

"You know him better than I do," he said softly.

She tossed an empty vegetable can into the garbage, then scrubbed her hands. "Bobby's different, Dad," she said quietly. "He deals with loss differently." She opened another can of vegetables and dumped it into a bowl.

"I'm...concerned about him, Alex. And about you."

"Dad, what could I have done? If I had told him he couldn't go, he would have resented me for it."

"I don't think you should have prevented him from going. I understand how hard it is to lose someone you love. But he seems to be...sensitive. I'm just concerned about how difficult this holiday will be for him."

She nodded and rested her hand over her stomach. "I know. I am too."

"How is the baby doing?" he asked as he hugged his daughter.

"Good. But these cravings are going to drive me nuts."

"Drive you nuts?" Mike said as he came into the room and pulled a beer from the refrigerator. "We have to watch you eat...those interesting combinations of food you...grace us with."

She rolled her eyes. "Shut up, Mike. Speaking of food, some turkey with marshmallow fluff and a few slices of cucumbers sounds really good right now... Maybe some maple syrup and a little ice cream, too."

Mike looked at John and pointed a finger at Alex. "See what I mean?" He shuddered. "Yuck. Hey, it's getting late...any idea when the big guy is coming home?"

She shrugged a little. "I don't know." Then she looked at her father. "Maybe we should go ahead and eat. The kids are probably hungry. Especially this one," she said, motioning to Mike.

"Food's good." He thought for a moment. "He's not coming home tonight, is he?"

"I don't know, Mike."

He gave a little shrug. "Okay, then. It's your call. If you're not worried, I'm not. Let me help you set the table."

She nodded and pulled a sack of plates off of one of the shelves. It wasn't that she wasn't worried. She was. But she trusted her partner.

Mike took the plates and set the table, returning for the silverware. The he and John helped her set out the food.

When the food was on the table, Alex walked out into the living room and said, "Dinner's ready."

Carolyn stood up and picked up Kiska, while Regina led Matt into the bathroom to wash his hands, then helped him into a chair at the table.

"Do you want her, or do you want me to feed her?" Carolyn asked Mike.

"You go ahead--visit and eat. I'll feed Kitkat."

She handed their daughter to him, then poured herself a glass of juice and sat down beside Alex.

Regina sat down across from Alex, with Matt in the chair beside her.

After everyone had sat down and begun eating, Carolyn looked over at Alex and noticed that she was just pushing her food around on her plate. "Are you okay?" she whispered, and Alex rubbed the back of her neck.

"I miss my partner," she admitted quietly, and Carolyn reached out and gently squeezed Alex's leg.

She ate a few more bites off of her plate, then stood up and carried her plate into the kitchen. When she realized everyone was looking at her, she ran a hand through her hair and said, "I... uh, I'm not feeling too good. I think I'm going to lay down for a little bit."

Mike finished feeding his daughter, then set her in the playpen in the living room. He walked down the hall and knocked on the bedroom door.

Alex heard the knock, but she didn't move from her spot on the bed. "Come in," she called.

He came into the room. "Alex?"

"What, Mike?" She turned onto her opposite side so she could see him.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah. I guess I was more tired than I thought."

"Are you sure that's all it is? The marshmallow fluff isn't disagreeing with you?"

She smiled. "No, I'm just tired." She sat up and unconsciously rubbed her eyes. "I guess I should get up. Matt knows that there's a present under the tree for him," she said with a small smile.

He touched her arm. "You can talk to me."

She looked at him, and her entire body trembled a little. "I... I miss him," she confessed softly.

Mike sighed. "You want to go after him?"

"I... don't want him to feel like he can't trust me. And I understand that he needs his space. But... no one should be alone like that, especially on Christmas."

"But you can't expect him to change the way his life has been overnight. For him holidays have always meant solitude. It's been the same for me, for the most part."

"I know. That's why I didn't fight him when he wanted to go."

"But he also has to realize at some point that things are different for him now."

She gave him an odd look. "Are we talking about the same person?"

"Face it, sweetheart. His life has changed. He's not alone any more. He's got you and in a couple of months he's going to be a father. His life's never gonna be the same."

"Neither of our lives will." She rested her head on her hand.

"But you're used to family."

She looked at him. "We're both going through a lot of changes, Mike. Do you realize it's been over eight years since I've shared my home with something that was bigger than a bird?" She sighed. "I wish he would call. At least let me know everything's... okay."

"But everything's not okay, sweetheart. He probably spent the afternoon sitting by his mother's grave. What do you think he'll do next?"

She groaned softly. "Damn it... He's going to get himself hurt."

"Want to draw straws?"

"I'll go. You go hang out with my family and your daughter."

"Um, you know the neighborhood? I can give you the name of the bar he likes over there."

"Okay. What is it?"

"It's called Mulligan's. It's off Canarsie."

She stood up and picked up her keys and cell phone off of the nightstand. "Mulligan's. Got it."

"Call me if you need me, sweetheart."

She nodded and bent down to kiss his forehead. "Thanks, Mike."

"Be careful. It's cold and icy out there."

She nodded and grabbed her jacket, shoving her arms into the sleeves as she said, "I will."

She walked out into the living room, where her family and Carolyn were sitting and talking quietly. Clearing her throat, she said, "I'm going to go get Bobby. I don't know how long I'll be gone, but you know you're welcome to stay as long as you want." She looked at her sister. "There's a p-r-e-s-e-n-t under the tree for you know who," she said softly, spelling out the word present. "If I don't get back in time."

Regina nodded.

She adjusted her jacket and zipped it over her growing belly. "Hopefully I won't be gone long."

"Do you want me to drive you, honey?" her father offered.

She shook her head. "No thanks, Dad."

"Be careful."

"I will," she promised, giving him a hug. After hugging her nephew, she walked out of the apartment, determined to find her partner.

It took Alex nearly an hour and a half to drive to Brooklyn and find the bar Mike had suggested he'd be at. Mulligan's. She turned off the ignition and climbed out of the car, shivering as the cool air came in contact with her skin. Snowflakes fell silently to the ground, and she pulled her jacket tighter around herself, then walked into the bar.

Inside, it was warm and dimly lit, and she picked her way through the surprisingly crowded room. Spotting the bartender, she pulled a picture of her partner from her pocket and handed it to him, saying over the jukebox, "Have you seen him?"

The bartender nodded and pointed to the corner of the room, and Alex thanked him and found her way through the crowd. Finally she reached him, and she sat down in the empty chair beside him.

He turned his head to look at her and frowned. "What are you doing...going out in this weather?" he asked quietly.

"Looking for you."

He turned his attention back to his drink, very clearly not his first. "I'm a big boy."

"I know. But I missed you." She rested her head in her palm.

"M-missed me?"

She nodded. "A lot."

He rubbed his forehead and softly groaned. He moistened his lips. "Sh-she made me feel...like I wasn't...good enough," he said softly, struggling not to stumble over his words.

She reached out a tentative hand and laid it on his back. "I know she did." She felt his muscles shudder under her hand, and she began rubbing circles over his back. "But you know what?" she asked softly.

"Wh-what?"

She leaned closer to him. "You're more than good enough for me... for us."

He closed his eyes for a moment. "I-I grew up... being... worthless...an-and that never changed. I-it's not something...I can easily get past."

"I understand that. I'm not expecting you to." Her hand drifted up to gently run through his hair. "But that's why I'm here."

"Because I'm having trouble getting past being...worthless?" he murmured, finishing his drink and signaling for another.

"Because I'm going to show you that you're not worthless, or any of those other things that you've been told you are." She reached out and cupped his cheek, gently turning his head so that their eyes met. "You're not, Bobby."

His eyes searched her face for a moment before he looked away, nodding a thank you to the bartender when he brought him another drink. "She...tortured me...in various ways...for so many years...and I...I had such a hard time losing her. Why do I miss her? What kind of...masochist am I?"

Instinctively she eased her arm around him and gently squeezed. "Bobby, you aren't a masochist," she said firmly. "You loved your mother, and you miss her. She was important to you. You're allowed to grieve for her, baby."

"I should...be done by now," he complained.

"Bobby... you can't rush it, remember? My mom died almost two years ago, and I'm still grieving for her."

"B-but you...you had a good mother."

"Doesn't matter. You loved her, just like I loved mine."

"No. Not like you loved yours," he mumbled.

"But you did love her."

"She was my mom."

"Yes, she was. And from what you told me, she was the one person in your home who even tried with you." She trailed her fingers through his hair.

He held up his drink. "This...has been Christmas for me...for as long as I can remember."

She remembered Mike's words, and she said, "But things are different now, Bobby. Very different."

He shuddered again and took a drink. "I was looking at her headstone...and...I could hear her talking to me...telling me...how I failed her in every way. I...wasted my life, and my intelligence, being a cop...I-I didn't love her enough...to find a wife and give her grandchildren...I...was the reason my father left, and...why couldn't I have been more like Frank...so...I have been sitting here...wondering...looking for any reason for you to...stay...and I could only find...one..."

She pulled her arm from around him and moved her hand to rest over his. "What's that?"

"I-I'm your baby's father, and I have a responsibility toward him."

She frowned. "Bobby... you know that there's millions of reasons why I've stayed with you. Not just because you're the father of my child." She squeezed his hand tightly. "If that's true, I wouldn't have spent two months in New Jersey with you while you were in the hospital. I wouldn't have asked you to move in with me, and I wouldn't have been there every time you opened your eyes, would I?"

He stared into his drink but didn't answer. He was confused and unsettled. It was almost as if she was not dead...almost. Even from beyond the grave, she criticized him and tormented him.

She gave a tired sigh, then gently pushed his drink away. "Come on, Bobby. We're going home. Dinner's cold, but I'll heat it up, and you're going to eat something."

He remained where he was for a moment before he turned his head to look at her. He made no attempt to hide the turmoil in his face. "Are you sure?" he asked, his eyes pleading for an honest answer.

She smiled gently and ran her fingertips along his cheek. "Of course," she murmured.

He leaned toward her.

She pressed her lips lightly to his. "Come on, baby," she whispered, standing up and offering her hand to him.

He slid off the stool, stumbling forward a couple of steps and swaying unsteadily.

She grumbled and wrapped an arm securely around his waist. "You fall, I'm not catching you," she muttered. Once they were walking steadily and nearly out of the bar, she turned her head and looked at him. "I should give you fair warning. My family might still be there."

He shook his head. "I-I'm not up for that, Alex."

"Okay. If they're still there, let them see you're in one piece, then I'll get rid of them."

It was snowing more heavily as they stepped out of the bar onto the street. "N-no...don't chase them off. I-It's Christmas...and you should be with...your family."

"Bobby, you're my family. You and our baby."

"You know what I mean. You're close to your father...your nephew...I am not...taking you away from them..."

"You're not, Bobby." She helped him into the car, then climbed into the driver's seat. "I had dinner with them, spent some time with Matt." She shoved the key into the ignition. "And for all I know, they've already gone home. I told them I was going to get you, and for them not to wait up."

"I-I'm sorry...I didn't mean..."

"Bobby, stop. It's okay. Let's just go home, okay?" She turned and smiled at him. "I believe there are still some presents under that tree with your name on them, if Mike hasn't gotten to them already."

He turned to look out the window, still unsettled by his mother's perceptions of the failures in his life.

She reached out, refusing to let him withdraw, and brushed her fingertips against his cheek, then down his neck.

He trembled at her touch and closed his eyes, but he remained silent and did not look at her.

She continued to move her fingers lightly over his skin, pausing only when she felt movement in her abdomen. "Well, hi," she murmured, rubbing her stomach. She looked over at Bobby. "This child is spoiled already."

That caught his attention and he finally turned to look at her. "Spoiled?"

She nodded. "You left, and I swear she acts just like you. Retreats. Now you're here, and she's kicking like crazy." She grabbed his hand and pulled it to rest over her belly. "See?" She squeezed his hand and added, "It's like she got what she wants, and now she's happy."

His thumb gently stroked her shirt as he felt the baby move beneath his hand. "And what...do you think the baby wanted?"

"You."

That caught him by surprise and he didn't know what to say.

She squeezed his hand again, then brought it up to her mouth and kissed it softly. "Let's go home," she murmured, reluctantly releasing his hand and gripping the steering wheel.

"Home," he murmured, turning back to the window

A small smile quirked the corner of her mouth as she carefully guided the SUV out of the parking lot. "Home."

CICICICICICICICICICICICICICICICICICICICICICICICICICI

Carolyn sighed softly as she shut the front door, then made her way back to the couch where Mike was sitting. Pulling the afghan from where it rested on the back of the couch, she pulled it around herself, then snuggled into his side.

A few minutes of near complete silence passed, and finally she opened her eyes and ventured, "You, uh, have another present in the bag. This one's just for you."

"You didn't have to do that," he said.

"I know. But I wanted to." She nodded to the bag that rested by his feet, but refused to move. "It's in there somewhere. It's got your name on it."

"Gonna make me work for it, huh?"

"No." She tucked her legs under herself. "I'm just not moving."

He got up from the couch and brought the bag to her, grinning.

Rolling her eyes, she dug through the bag and easily found his present. "Be careful," she warned, setting the bag down and leaning back again.

He took the gift and carefully opened it. There were two items under the wrapping paper. One was a ceramic wall hanging with a ball and bat painted on it and the saying "Any man can be a father...It takes someone special to be a Daddy." The other item was a framed 5x7 photograph of him with his daughter. He looked up at Carolyn and smiled, leaning over to give her a kiss. "Thank you. Where'd you get this picture?"

"It was in my picture box. I had it blown up," she explained, returning the soft kiss.

"It's perfect."

She smiled and curled herself into his side again. "I'm glad you like it. Merry Christmas."

He slid his arm around her and settled back, looking at the picture. He smiled.

"I don't care what you say, hon. She looks just like you."

"I'll allow you that one delusion," he answered.

She shook her head, then looked past him through the window, where snow was falling softly. She sighed. "It's beautiful out there."

"There's nothing like the city after a fresh snowfall."

"You're right about that." She looked over her shoulder, where their daughter was sleeping peacefully in her playpen. "I can't wait until she's big enough to be out there playing in it."

"Soon..."

She nodded and rested her head on his shoulder. "But I should warn you... I will have her help me throw snowballs at you."

"Great...another bunch of females to gang up on me."

She grinned. "Yeah, poor Mikey..." she teased.

"Glad someone's sympathetic," he teased back.

"Oh yes, very sympathetic." She pulled the afghan around her shoulders again.

"Hold on a sec, Carolyn..." Getting up from the couch, he went to his coat and fished into the pocket, returning with a small wrapped gift, which he handed to her. "Merry Christmas, sweetheart."

She smiled and waited until he was sitting down again. Then she snuggled into his side and opened the present. Inside the little box was a gold ring, with three stones that she recognized immediately as hers, Mike's, and Kiska's birthstones. "Mike..." She didn't know what to say. "It's beautiful..."

"I know a mother's ring usually only has the kids' stones in it, but I thought one lone stone looked kind of lonely...so I improvised."

She smiled and wiped at a pesky tear that had managed to escape. "It's perfect," she murmured, pulling it out of the box and sliding it onto her right hand. "I love it."

He smiled. "I'm glad. It fits okay?"

"It's perfect." She looked at it admiringly, then turned her head to kiss him.

"Come on, Bobby," she said, gently tugging on his arm as she gripped the doorknob and turned it. "That turkey is calling my name..."

"What's it saying?" he wondered absently.

She rolled her eyes. "My name." She stepped through the door, then stared at the couch in surprise. "Whoa."

He walked into her back, jostling her forward a few steps. "Sorry," he murmured.

She was too involved in what was happening on the couch.

Carolyn turned her head guiltily, but remained in Mike's arms.

Alex turned her head and looked at Mike in amusement. "I take it she liked the gift?" she asked lightly.

"Yeah...she liked it," Mike replied. He grinned at them. "Hey, guys. I see you found him. Was he at Mulligan's?"

"Yes," she answered, pushing Bobby lightly in the direction of the kitchen.

Alex rolled her eyes and picked up a plate, handing it to her partner before retrieving her own plate out of the refrigerator.

"I'm not really hungry," he said. "Just tired."

"Fine." She put her plate in the microwave and turned it on, then returned to the refrigerator for a glass of apple juice.

"I, uh...I'm gonna lay down."

She bit her lip, then took the plate away from him and kissed his cheek. "Okay. We'll just leave your presents under the tree for tomorrow."

"I-I'm sorry, Alex. I don't mean to ruin the holiday for you. I know you love Christmas. I...I d-don't want to change that...for you."

She tipped her head to the side and laid her palm against his scruffy cheek. "You haven't, Bobby. Go lay down," she murmured, hugging him gently. "I'll probably be in there in a little while."

"I'm sorry..." he repeated, uncertain.

She rolled her eyes. "Keep saying that, and you will be," she threatened teasingly.

The serious look did not leave his face and he raised an eyebrow, then frowned. Looking away, he turned to leave the kitchen.

She reached out and grabbed his arm, turning him around. "Hey." When he looked at her, she rose up and kissed him firmly.

His hands came to rest on her hips and he steadied himself by leaning his shoulder against the refrigerator. Ignoring the spinning in his head, he slipped his tongue past her lips, not certain she would allow it.

She sighed a little when he deepened the kiss, and her hands moved of their own accord, sliding beneath his shirt. Finally she broke the kiss and tucked her head under his chin, whispering, "Merry Christmas, Bobby."

He groaned softly. "I-I love you, Alex...please...don't ever doubt that."

"I never have," she whispered back, slowly releasing him. With a gleam in her eye, she rested her hand on his chest and said, "Go lay down. I'll be there in a little bit."

"You...do..." He trailed off, not sure he should continue and sorry he started the question. He shook his head, then turned to leave again.

She let him go, then walked back into the living room.

He muttered a quiet good night and an apology before heading unsteadily down the hall toward the bedroom.

Carolyn watched Alex, and she looked at Mike and said, "You ready to go home, hon?"

Mike reluctantly drew his eyes from the hallway and looked at Alex. "Is he all right?"

She gave a small shrug. "I'll take care of him, Mike. He's just... had a rough night."

"Let me guess...he did it to himself."

She nodded sadly.

He shook his head. "I get it, Alex. I was there. My mother thought I was a worthless screw-up. That's all I ever got from her and it took years after she was gone for me to even begin to realize she might have been wrong."

She nodded again. "He... told me he can still hear her telling him how worthless and what a failure he is," she said softly.

Mike ran a hand through his hair. "I still hear that voice from time to time. Drinking doesn't help it any either. Makes the voice more prominent."

She sat down with a heavy sigh. "He also thinks the only reason I'm still around is because I'm having his kid."

"And that surprises you?"

"I guess not. But it doesn't make it sting any less."

"He's not trying to hurt you, honey. He's looking for reassurance. That's what he needs more than anything."

"I know. And God, I wish... I wish I knew exactly what to say so that he _wouldn't_ hurt anymore."

Mike shook his head. "Those words don't exist, Alex. He grew up hurting and that pain isn't going to go away. But you do make it better. He doesn't hurt _all_ the time anymore."

She rested her head against her hand. "But he shouldn't have to hurt at all," she said softly, her throat tightening.

"I know he shouldn't. Neither should I...or anyone because of their parents. But we do. And the only way we can...make it better...is to make sure our kids never know that pain."

She sniffed, and a smile found a way onto her face. "You're doing a good job with that, Mike."

"So will he, sweetheart. Better in fact. He has more demons than I do, and a bigger heart."

Carolyn snuggled into Mike's side, and Alex said, "You're right about that, Mike. I don't think I've ever seen a man with a bigger heart than him."

"Neither have I...but it also means he gets hurt more easily."

"I know. And believe me, I do everything I can to keep it safe."

"You have your work cut out for you." His eyes flicked toward the hallway. "I thought he was doing better."

"So did I."

He studied his hands. "The holidays...they're always rough...so was my mother's birthday..." He laughed bitterly. "Her friggin' birthday...and I hated her. As difficult as his mother was...he never let himself get to that point. He's a better man than I am."

She ran a hand through her hair. "He asked me... if he was a masochist because he missed her. I just... she caused him so much pain..."

"He's confused. I was, too...for a long time. It hurts, and you wonder why, after all the pain she caused. How is it possible to miss someone who always hurt you...? I hid behind...well, you know how my defenses work. I lash out. He turns into himself."

Alex exhaled deeply, her hand moving to rest over her belly. "He does that too well sometimes."

"He's had almost forty years of practice. He's damn good at it by now."

"He is." She looked down the hallway. "I just... worry sometimes that I won't be able to bring him back out."

"You're good at recognizing when he's ready to withdraw. You're also good at catching him. He...trusts...that you'll always be able to reach him. He doesn't worry about it. He told me that one time."

She looked at him. "Really?"

"Really. He said that no matter how deep he gets into the minds of the people you guys go after, and no matter how far into himself he turns, he has faith that you will reach him."

She looked down the hall again, then rubbed her temples slowly. "He's always had a lot of faith in me... sometimes I think more than he should."

"You gonna give up on him, Alex?"

She turned fiery eyes on him. "How could you even think that, Logan?"

"Okay, then...how is his faith in you misplaced?"

She let out a deep breath. "I... guess it's not."

"He knows how he can get. If he doesn't worry about it, why should you?"

She let a smile touch her lips. "I suppose I shouldn't."

"No. You shouldn't."

Leaning forward in the chair, she buried one hand in her hair, resting her elbows on her knees. "I should go check on him. I'll be right back," she murmured, rising out of her seat.

When she was gone from the room, Mike got up and began to pace, lost in thought.

Carolyn leaned back against the couch, watching him pace. "Mike... do you want to talk about it?" she asked softly.

He shook his head. "It's not about me."

She nodded and turned her dark eyes to the window, where the snow continued to fall silently from the star drenched, midnight sky.

Alex slipped down the hall and into the bedroom, easing herself down onto the bed. "Bobby? Are you awake?" she whispered, not wanting to wake him if he was actually sleeping.

Laying on his side, he was sleeping soundly. He didn't respond to her voice or her touch.

Realizing he was asleep, she leaned over and gently kissed his forehead. Then she stood up and walked back into the living room, settling comfortably in Bobby's recliner.

Mike was still pacing, but it was at a contemplative pace, not an agitated one. "Is he okay?"

"He's sleeping," she answered. "I didn't want to wake him up."

"I doubt you could have."

"Probably not. He's not going to feel great in the morning."

"He's gonna need more than aspirin. I, um...I have a connection with him, if you need me. We...have a common past. I know you can reach him, sweetheart, but I...I understand him, because I lived with the abuse and the criticism. I was every bit as much a fuck up and I got told it every day. A disappointment...a guy no woman could ever love...I _know_ how he feels."

She nodded gently. "I'll call you tomorrow. You could probably get further with him than I could right now."

He sighed. "I guess we'd better get going before it gets too messy out there. I doubt he's gonna wake up during the night, but if you needs me...all you gotta do is call."

"I know, Mike," she said with a warm smile.

He grabbed the baby's snowsuit and handed it over to Carolyn, who spread it on the couch. Lifting the sleeping baby from the playpen, he laid her on the open snowsuit and stepped away while her mother bundled her up. Stepping over to Alex, he folded her into a warm hug.

She welcomed the embrace and wrapped her arms around his waist. "Thanks, Mike," she murmured into his chest.

"Don't mention it. Call me tomorrow. We don't have plans. I can be here in fifteen."

She released him and nodded. "Thank you." A thought occurred to her, and she walked over to the tree and picked up a pile of three gifts. Smiling, she brought them back over and handed them to him. "Merry Christmas."

He gave her a soft kiss. "Merry Christmas, Alex..." He stopped for a second. "Hey...did he give you the gift he got for you?"

She smiled and pulled the pendant out from where it was nestled against her chest, holding it up so he could see.

He smiled warmly. "Incredible. I told him it would be beautiful on you. I was with him when he got it. Actually, he was almost sold on a different one until he saw that blue diamond. It cost him an extra...uh, couple of dollars...but he didn't bat an eye. That's when I knew for sure you had him, honey. Hook, line and sinker. That was about three weeks after he got out of the hospital."

A light blush crept across her cheeks, and she said softly, "He's had me for a lot longer."

"He just never knew it."

"I made sure he did. I just screwed up by not doing it sooner."

"I don't think you did any damage by waiting. He would still need the reassurance he does. It comes with the territory."

"Yeah." She took a step back and sat down in his chair again, making herself comfortable.

Carolyn picked up the still sleeping baby and gently nudged Mike. "Look at this, Mike," she said quietly. "She sleeps through anything... just like you."

"You're not complaining, are you?"

"Not a bit." She took the presents from him and laid the sleeping baby in his arm. Then she looked at Alex and motioned to the tree. "There are a few presents for you, Bobby, and the baby under the tree," she said, smiling.

"Thank you. He's going to open his tomorrow." She shook her head. "He couldn't believe that I had actually gotten him a present, let alone a bunch of them."

"I know that feeling," Mike muttered from where he stood by the door.

"Hey, if I remember, you still have some of your own to open when we get home," Carolyn said with a wink.

"You know what? I think that the best present for either of us is the two of you."

The girls exchanged looks.

He arched an eyebrow. "I'm being sincere for a change," he insisted.

Alex and Carolyn looked at each other again, and Alex began laughing softly. "Does that mean we should have just skipped the presents and put ourselves into boxes today?"

He grinned. "I'm all for that," he said. "And if it's followed by...well, you know...hell, neither of us would ask for anything more."

"I should remember that for his birthday," Carolyn whispered wickedly to Alex, who nodded.

"Can I hold you to that?" he asked with a grin.

"If you behave."

"No guarantees...besides, if I behaved, you'd start to worry. The last thing I need is you taking my temperature every ten minutes."

"Now there's an idea," she said thoughtfully, picking up the bag that contained his Christmas presents.

He opened the door for her and looked over at Alex. "He'll be okay, Alex, as long as he has you. Good night."

"The same goes for me. Good night, Mike." She leaned over and kissed the sleeping baby's head.

Carolyn drew Alex into a hug and said, "Good night, Alex."

"Night, Carolyn. Drive carefully."

"I will."

Mike followed Carolyn through the door, closing it behind him.

She stood there for a few more minutes, then walked into the bedroom she shared with Bobby, turning the lights off behind her. Quietly she slid into the bed with him, laying on her side so she could watch him sleep. "I do love you, Bobby," she whispered, reaching out to stroke his hair gently. "I do."

TBC...

A/N: Well, there ya'll go! Kiska is now officially Kiska Logan. LOL. We hope ya'll enjoyed this chapter, but soon, it's back to the angst and cliffies! Mwhahahaha! Ahem... anyways... And there's lots of smut in the next chapter... Review, please!


	14. Slaying His Demons

Wow, we're already at the fourteenth chapter. Well, the only thing I'll say about this update is that there's plenty of smut, angst, fluff, and lots of other things. And there's a very big surprise at the end that we're sure everyone will love. So enjoy, and please remember to review!

Disclaimer: Not ours.

BAMCBAMCBAMCBAMCBAMC

When Alex awoke the next morning, the first thing she was aware of were the arms holding her, and the piercing gaze on her. Slowly she leaned forward and buried her face in his bare chest.

"Good morning," she murmured, her voice muffled by his chest.

He smoothed his hand through her hair. "Good morning. I, um, I...didn't ruin your day yesterday, did I?"

"No, you didn't," she assured him, closing her eyes.

"I...uh, I am sorry...I should have come home...but..." He trailed off. "I...I can't explain it."

She reached out and smoothed her thumb over his jaw. "It bothered me, Bobby, but I understand. You needed to... spend some time by yourself."

"That's...part of it."

"What was the other part?"

"I...I didn't want to bring you down, baby."

She propped her head up with her hand. "Talking about it will help."

"It never has before."

"But this time, I'm the one who's listening."

"Alex...I appreciate your willingness, but this isn't something I can ever get you to understand, no matter how hard I try. You...had a good childhood. I don't want to taint that in any way by talking about mine. You know I had a hard childhood, that there was emotional and physical abuse. You know I could have gone either way, and only a slip of fate prevented me from being your prey instead of your partner. That's all you ever need to know...all I ever want you to know. Trust me with this one."

She sighed softly and snuggled into his arms. "Okay. I don't agree with it, but I understand."

"I hope so," he murmured, kissing her head.

She raised her head and claimed his lips with hers, emitting a soft sigh.

He began to deepen the kiss but became distracted and softly laughed into her mouth.

She pulled back and gave him an odd look. "What?" she asked, exasperated and slightly annoyed at his laughter.

"I woke up feeling like a train wreck, and just when you start to chase that away, the baby starts to kick. He's a powerful little guy."

She groaned and slid off of him, resting on her side. "You know, Goren, I had very different intentions just now..."

He rolled onto his side, leaning in to gently nibble her earlobe and whisper, "I'm not used to getting kicked like that. Sorry. Let me see if I can't help you out here...it's the best medicine for a hangover...for me anyway...and...you help me...forget...things. That's never bad."

She moved her arm from over her face and pulled him down over her, wrapping her arms around his neck. "No, it's not," she whispered, trailing her fingertips along his spine.

He kissed her. "It's better than talking," he muttered.

"Mm, sometimes..."

"Always," he answered, kissing her deeply as his hands roamed, his gentle touch rousing every part of her body.

She felt his hand pause over the swell of her abdomen, and she smiled and rested her hand over his. Then she gently pulled his head down closer and kissed him fiercely.

Relaxing, he surrendered to her completely, pushing aside memories of the day before until late, when he would confront them once again. For now, all that mattered to him was the woman beside him in the bed, kissing him with enough passion to set his world on edge and send his surroundings spinning away. His mind went blank.

She pulled him closer, letting out a soft sigh of surrender as he slid inside of her. Her hands buried themselves in his hair, and she couldn't help but smile when their middles touched.

Every sense in his body was focused on her and the sensations she sent coursing through his body. He probably could have held out longer, prolonging his pleasure, but when she tightened around him, bucking and moaning his name, he let go and everything exploded in a fury of sensation that consumed him and knocked him for a loop.

She reached her release right after he reached his, and she grumbled a little in protest when he slid away and turned them both on their sides. "That's a good way to wake up," she finally commented once her mind was functioning again.

It took him longer to recover, but he relished the feeling and held onto it as long as he possibly could. He had put more than love into it that time...he had offered up his frustrations, his depression and his fears, searching for the salve to his soul that only she offered and only she delivered.

His arms went around her, and she turned over and rested her head against his chest, gently running her hand up and down his arm.

He groaned softly. "I...needed that. Thank you."

She smiled and kissed him gently. "I needed it, too," she whispered.

"You did?"

She looked at him. "I can need you, too," she said indignantly, but there was a hint of teasing in her voice.

"I, uh, I...you mean...physically?"

"Of course."

"Oh, good...but that wasn't what I meant." He thought about how that sounded and amended. "Uh, I mean I do...need you physically...but this time...there was more to it."

She brushed a stray curl back and smiled. "I know what you mean, Bobby. And yes, I don't just need you physically. It's... a lot more than that."

"I hope you never feel...the desperation I do."

She studied him for a moment, then kissed him again. "I don't. Not like you. But I do need you."

"That's...good to hear."

"Don't ever doubt it, baby."

He played with her hair and he began to drift back to sleep.

She snuggled deeper into his arms, listening to the comforting sound of his heart beating steadily.

After a few moments, she looked over at the clock, then groaned. She poked him gently and said, "I'm getting up and getting some of that stupid no caffeine coffee."

He groaned and tightened his arms around her, murmuring something into her skin.

She smiled and kissed his head. "Are you going to let me go?" she asked in amusement.

"Mmmmm...no."

She rolled her eyes. "Come on, big guy," she cajoled, kissing his shoulder softly. "You have presents waiting, and we're getting hungry."

"No, we're not."

She poked him again. "Yes, _we_ are," she said, motioning to her belly.

He groaned softly and muttered sleepily, "All right, go ahead... but I'm gonna sleep a little more."

She smiled. "Okay, but when I get done eating, I'm coming back in here." She leaned down closer to his ear and gently nibbled on his earlobe. "Whipped cream isn't the only thing I'm craving..."

"'S that a promise?"

She answered with a deep kiss.

He pulled her against his body, his desire ignited and once more driving him toward passion.

All thoughts of food forgotten, she returned the kiss with all the passion she could muster.

His mind raced in circles again and she consumed him.

It didn't take them long for them to reach the peak of their desire, and when the pleasant haze faded from her mind, she groaned and rested her head on his chest.

It took even less time for him to fade out and drift back into a sleep that quickly deepened and became restful.

She watched him fade off to sleep, but didn't move from his embrace for several minutes. But soon her stomach was growling, and she reluctantly slid from his arms and slipped on one of his shirts, then walked into the kitchen. After making breakfast, she made her plate and sat down at the table.

"You happy now?" she asked the prominent bump in her belly after taking a bite of the breakfast.

A series of resounding kicks was her answer, and she smiled and rubbed her stomach, then continued to eat.

When she finished, she carried her empty plate to the sink and washed it, then put it away. The baby kicked again, and she smiled and wandered into the bathroom to take a long, hot shower.

She slid his shirt off, hugging it to her before dropping it into the laundry basket. Then she reached into the shower stall and turned the water on, adjusting it until it was just right.

The water temperature finally adjusted to her liking, and she stepped inside and closed her eyes, allowing the pulsing stream to soothe her sore muscles.

She washed her hair and body, then stepped out of the shower, drying herself off before she walked back into the bedroom to find something to wear. Once she was dressed, she wandered aimlessly into the living room again, settling into Bobby's recliner. It was a big and comfortable chair, and she picked up the remote and turned the T.V. on, settling on reruns of Full House as she waited for Bobby to get up.

Several episodes of the family oriented show passed, and when Bobby still didn't emerge from the room, Alex turned the T.V. off and padded into the bedroom. She could hear him snoring softly, and she smiled and laid down beside him, her heart warming when his arms went around her.

Tucking her arm under her head, Alex played with a graying curl as she watched him sleep. And somewhere, she couldn't help but wonder what he was dreaming of. He rarely slept peacefully, his dreams often pierced by nightmares. He stirred a little, and she pressed herself against him and tenderly smoothed his hair back.

She was glad that he seemed to be resting peacefully, and she continued to watch him, ready to fight the demons that he had often said she "wouldn't understand." But she understood more than he knew. And she also understood that she didn't like to see him in any kind of pain.

But more often than not, she couldn't protect him from that. And that's what bothered her. Even though it didn't exist, she wished that there was something she could do or say to reach that place in him that was poisoned, and cleanse it. Then he wouldn't have those nightmares, or believe that she had only stayed around because she was having his child.

She brushed the back of her hand against his forehead. It wasn't fair. She understood that his mother had no control over her illness, but a small part of her couldn't help but bear resentment towards her for her treatment of her kind and gentle partner. And his father and brother... well, they had no excuse for the way they treated him. It wasn't right, and for a moment, she wondered how her partner might have turned out if they had been halfway decent to him.

But she knew that she couldn't dwell on that. The what if's, what might have been's, and what could have been's would drive her crazy, drive them crazy. And in a way, in the smallest of ways, she was thankful. Because of the way his family was, that was what had made him the man she had fallen in love with.

For all of his demons, for all of his faults, and for all of his fears and doubts, he was enough for her. He loved her, so much that he had chosen her above any other woman he could have easily had. So much that he had changed what he believed about children and had agreed to give her his child.

She stretched a little and moved her hand between their stomachs, where their child was resting. Their child. Those words still shocked and amazed her. The fact that he loved her enough to shove aside his own fears and doubts still sent her mind reeling. "You are going to be an amazing father, Bobby," she whispered, running her fingertips along his cheek, down to his neck and finally stopping over his heart. His heart, the most beautiful part of him.

It beat firmly beneath her palm, and with every beat, she was falling more and more in love with him, something she didn't even think was possible. It had been torn, ripped, stepped on, and sewn back together more times than she could imagine, but it was the most beautiful heart of any man she had ever known. Strong, loving, and capable of making her feel things that she had believed long dead, as clichИd as it sounded. It was the truth.

Her attention drifted down to his hands, and she carefully picked one up and studied it. Worn, calloused, and filled with lines, those hands were capable of great strength, and great grace. Day in and day out, those hands prodded, poked, and helped illustrate his words. But those same hands were gentle, also. They had held a small child, carefully bandaged cuts and bruises, and had brought her some of the greatest pleasures she had ever known.

And in a few months, they would be rocking a newborn baby to sleep, guiding carefully the life of that child they had created, together.

She sighed softly and released his hand, then settled down into his arms again. "I love you, Bobby," she whispered, pressing her lips briefly against his heart.

Bobby stirred as she settled her head against his shoulder. His eyes fluttered open and he turned toward her. Drawing in a deep breath, he kissed her head. "Hey," he murmured. "Did you get your breakfast?"

"Yeah. And I watched a little T.V., but it got boring," she murmured.

"And laying here isn't boring?"

"With you, it's not."

He laughed softly. "Even when I'm asleep?"

She grinned. "Yes. I like watching you sleep."

He raised an eyebrow and his mouth quirked into a small smile. "And people say I'm odd."

"You are."

The grin faded a little. "I know."

"But I love you for it."

He nodded. "I know. And I love you, too, in spite of... everything."

She looked at him curiously. "What's everything?"

He sighed, closing his eyes and pinching the bridge of his nose. "All the...baggage I come with," he muttered.

"I... I wish you'd talk to me, Bobby," she whispered.

"I do," he frowned.

"Not about everything. You know that."

"There are some things...better left unsaid."

She pushed herself up in the bed and looked at him. "Bobby... I talk to you about everything. You've always told me that it helps, but you seem to be certain that that doesn't apply to you."

"It's not that. It's just...it's enough that my past haunts me...I don't want to transfer any of that to you. An-and... " he sighed. "There are things I simply don't...want you to understand."

"And I can see it eating away at you. You don't know how much that hurts me."

"I'm sorry. But it is what it is. I can't change my past...and believe me when I tell you it is not something you want to share in."

She sighed tiredly and shook her head. "Bobby... I'm doing all I can here. I want you to feel like you can open up to me, but it's not working." She slid out of the bed and stood up. "I'm going to go in there. I love you, but I need some time to think."

He groaned softly and rolled onto his back. He loved his partner more than anyone in the world, and he wanted to open up to her, but he couldn't. She thought she knew how bad his upbringing had been, but really she had no clue. And he didn't want to give her one. He'd never be able to bear it if his memories disturbed any part of her life. She'd had a happy childhood and loving parents. Her past was filled with memories of a normal upbringing. He wanted none of that to be tainted by tales of abuse, blood and broken bones.

He had been the demon in his mother's delusions, and the evil son who'd chased away an apathetic father. He'd deserved his beatings for being a bad son. He learned early to never shed a tear or make a sound when his father beat him for...whatever his mother accused him of in her delusions. He spent years covering for her, so no one knew what happened behind the closed doors of their Brooklyn apartment. Those nightmares remained behind closed doors, and only he had the key. He was not about to share that with anyone...particularly not with Alex. If she thought, even for a second, that there was any chance he would turn into one of his parents, she would take that baby and he would never see either of them again. That was the most recent of his nightmares.

Contemplating his past and the future he protected by keeping it locked away made his throbbing head begin to pound. Getting out of the bed, he went into the bathroom and started a hot shower. As he stepped into the stream of hot water, he wished it was as easy to wash away the things that ate at him and threatened to consume his soul. He'd heard rumors of people that were able to cleanse their souls, but for him, he knew, it was far too late.

She stepped out of the bedroom, picking up the phone as she walked to his chair and sat down in it. For several long minutes, she stared at the phone that seemed to stare back at her. Finally she turned it on and dialed a familiar number, knowing that there was only one person who could reach him now.

A half hour later, there was a knock at the door, and Alex turned her head and watched as Mike walked in. "Thanks for coming," she said softly.

"Where is he?"

"Our bedroom."

"Okay if I go back there?"

"Go ahead. I can't get to him." She looked at him, her eyes filling with tears. "He won't open up to me, but maybe you can get him to talk."

Mike walked over to where she was sitting on the couch and crouched down. "Understand something, Alex. He's not trying to keep you out. He's trying to keep that part of himself locked in."

A tear fell, and she whispered, "Just help him, Mike. Please."

He wiped the tear from her cheek with his thumb. "I'm not sure anyone can help him, Alex. That time has long passed. But I'll talk to him."

She sat back in the chair and wiped at more tears that fell. "I know. I don't like it, but I know."

"No one likes it, honey, him least of all."

He squeezed her shoulder and headed for the bedroom.

She watched him leave, then tried to make herself comfortable in the chair. But suddenly, nothing seemed comfortable anymore.

Mike knocked on the bedroom door, hesitating until he heard a muffled "Come in."

Opening the door, he stepped into the room and closed the door behind him. Bobby was standing by the window, looking out into the snowy street. Mike softly asked, "Hey, pal. How are you feeling?"

"Like shit. I...I hurt her and there's no way I can make it right."

"Is that what you think? Come on. Get your head out of your ass. She just wants to help you stop hurting, that's all. She's not trying to steal your soul."

Bobby turned and glared at him. "I know that, ass. But she is trying to heal my soul, and that's just not possible."

"Because you refuse to let it happen."

Bobby clamped a hand behind his neck as he moved away from the window. "I...I will not...pollute her with my past, Mike."

"What makes you think that what happened to you could change her perception of her own past?"

"That's not it."

"Well then fill me in because I'm not getting it."

"You don't understand."

"Damn straight I don't. Because I had a shitty childhood, too. My mother was an alcoholic and I got beat on a regular basis for things I did, things she thought I did and things she thought I might do."

Bobby snorted softly. "Half the time she beat me to protect me from being taken by 'them'. The rest of the time I _was_ 'them'. Don't ask me who _they_ are. I never figured that out. But when I was ten, she locked me in a closet because 'they' were coming. Fourteen hours later, my brother managed to get her to the hospital so he could let me out."

"Tell me: why do you think that talking about it can't help?"

"Because it never has before. All it ever does is make the nightmares worse and open the doors for new ones. I really don't need any new nightmares."

"Okay, but that doesn't explain why you're so afraid to talk to her. What harm can it do to let her know you survived hell and you're a better man for it? You think she'll think less of you because your mother was sick and your dad was fucked up? Was any of that your fault?"

"If you ask my mother..."

Mike smacked his shoulder. "You know what I mean. Turn some of that brilliant mind inward and realize that the things they did to you can't touch what you have now."

"Mike, if she thought there was any chance I could become either one of them, she would never stay."

"So you're hiding from her? What purpose does that serve? Look, you've got two choices, pal. You can live in fear of losing her, or you can talk it out and find out for sure. If she's shallow enough to take off because your parents were messed up, then better to be rid of her now than to put any more of your heart into this relationship."

Bobby studied his hands. "I-It's too late for that."

"Then it's past time to see what kind of woman she is."

"Mike...if she left..."

"Trust me, Bobby. Bite the bullet now. But I can seriously guarantee that woman isn't going anywhere, no matter what your folks did to you. Look, if she walks, I'll marry you."

For the first time, Bobby smiled. "Dumbass."

"I'll hang around if you want. Talk to her."

Bobby turned away and looked at the floor. Mike squeezed his shoulder and left the room. Walking into the living room, he grinned at Alex. "You feel up to a difficult conversation, honey?"

She started a little, then looked at Mike. "He's going to talk to me?"

"Give it a whirl. I'm gonna raid the kitchen. Just...promise me one thing?"

She stood up and looked at him curiously. "What's that, Mike?"

"Please don't leave him. I really, really don't want to marry the guy."

She stared at him for a few moments before bursting into laughter. "Mike..." she finally started. "I'm not going to leave him, no matter how stubborn he gets, or how stupid. I love him."

"That's good enough for me. Now go convince him. I'm hungry."

She laughed again. "There's plenty of that turkey left over from last night. Go crazy."

He grinned. "I love you."

She rolled her eyes and walked past him. "I love you too, you idiot," she said as she walked into the hallway.

Bobby was back at the window, looking out into the snowy neighborhood and wishing a black hole someplace would open up and take him someplace where he didn't have to talk about anything but the weather and case files that needed to be solved.

She studied him for a few minutes from the door, then moved over to the bed and sat down. Not knowing anything else to say, she murmured, "Hi."

Slowly he shifted his eyes toward her. He rested a hand against her stomach and lightly rubbed, feeling reassured by the movement beneath his hand. "Hi."

Her lips relaxed into a smile at his touch, and she raised her hand and ran it through his hair. It came to rest on the back of his neck, and she gently pulled him closer, her eyes searching his.

"Please tell me I won't regret this," he pleaded, his voice not much more than a whisper.

"You won't... and neither will I. Never."

"I hope you're right, because this isn't something I will ever be able to take back. Once these images get into your head, they'll be there...to stay...God, this is such a bad idea. I don't know if I can do this to you."

She pulled him closer, her other arm wrapping tightly around him. "I love you, Bobby, and nothing you tell me can ever change that. Ever. Not your stubbornness, not my pride. Nothing."

He closed his eyes, not sure if he wanted to draw her closer or push her away. There was protection in both gestures.

She felt his hesitation, and she kissed the side of his head. "Nothing," she repeated into his ear.

"F-first...tell me...what your childhood was like."

She gently pulled him down to sit by her. "Bobby, you know what it was like. I've told you."

"Please. Humor me."

She nodded and laid back on the bed, stretching out on her side. "I was the third of five kids born into a cop's family. We didn't have a lot of money... but we didn't want or need for anything. My mom pushed me to be more like my sisters. To play with Barbie dolls and play dress up, but all I ever wanted to do was everything my brothers did."

He moved closer to her, so that her abdomen pressed against his hip, and he closed his eyes. "Go on," he encouraged.

"I skinned my knees, was socially awkward until high school, and was so well adjusted that they elected me prom queen," she said with a small smirk.

"You were the kind of girl who never gave a guy like me a second glance."

"No, actually. It wasn't my idea to be voted prom queen, and I tried to hide. With guys? I was a little more interested in making them eat dirt, like with my brothers," she grinned.

He glanced away, almost shy. "I would have eaten dirt for you," he murmured.

She laughed a little, then gently cupped his cheek and turned his head so their eyes met again. "I'm sure you would have. But I won't ask you to."

"That's good. I don't particularly care for the taste."

She smiled. "I didn't either," she informed him.

He chewed on his lower lip. "I, um, I followed my brother around, too, for awhile."

"Did he ever make you eat dirt, like mine did?" she asked softly.

"Um, n-no...not quite."

She rested her hand over his chest, then showed him the inside of her arm, where there was a small, barely noticeable scar. "I followed my cousins around a little too much."

"Did they, uh, try to bury you in the yard? Or, um, make a mud puddle then sit on you and hold your head in it until a moment before you had to take a breath?"

Her fingers tightened on his shirt, and she thought for several long moments. "No. They just thought it would be funny to push me off of my bike in the street." Her finger twitched, and she moved her arm to rest over his chest, as though that act alone could wipe away every hurt and bad memory that had been inflicted on her gentle partner.

"Did they push you off in front of a car?"

Of course he would be worried about her. "No. Lucky for me the street was empty. I just got banged up a little."

He half smiled. "Good. Uh, not that you got banged up... but...well, Frank, uh, he did push me off my bike in front of a car. And he pushed me off the pier into the river when I was nine. An-and into a tree in the park..." He shuddered at the never-forgotten memories.

She shook her head and muttered something under her breath. "I never liked him. I think I proved that to everyone, though."

"Yeah, you did. But...I'll take the things he did over what...they did...any day. Frank actually seemed to...like me. An-and he protected me...until the day Dad beat him so bad he was admitted to the hospital with them thinking he had been hit by a car."

"And he blamed you... for your dad hurting him."

"No. Not that time, he didn't. But he stopped trying to protect me after that."

She gently slid her hand under his shirt, needing the contact and craving it just as badly.

"What else?" she whispered, moving her fingertips along his bare skin.

He trembled at her touch and softly groaned. "Are...are you sure you want to hear this?"

"Would I be asking if I didn't?"

"Curiosity killed the cat, baby."

"But I'm no cat."

"Before Mom got sick...it wasn't bad. Things were...almost normal. Dad was gone most of the time, and Frank and I got along. Mom...was a good mom."

She nodded and continued to move her fingers over his skin.

"H-her disease...robbed her of the ability to be a good mother."

She heard the struggle in his voice, and she curled herself further into his side. "I know you. You were still a good son."

He nodded. "I...I tried. But no matter what I did...it was never good enough. I had the gave misfortune of not being born my brother."

"Because in her mind, he was perfect."

"He was...until he...followed in Dad's footsteps."

She kissed his skin lightly. "With women and drinking?"

He nodded. "And gambling...and then Frank got into drugs."

She exhaled deeply and shook her head. "I'm glad I hit him," she grumbled.

"I...don't blame him too much. He...he could resist anything but temptation." He almost grinned, but it quickly faded. "Maybe...I should have tried to help him more...but...I went into the army instead."

"I know you, Bobby. You did everything you could have, like my dad with his sister. But sometimes... giving your everything just isn't enough."

He shook his head. "I was in Germany, Alex...an-and I left Frank...to take care of Mom. When I came home...I had to put her in Carmel Ridge. There was nothing more I could do for her. Sh-she tried...to kill me...and I...I knew..."

She gripped him tighter as it dawned on her again how close she had come to not having this amazing man in her life. "It... wasn't your fault, baby," she whispered. "You did everything you could. She needed a level of help and care... that you just couldn't give her. As much as you wanted to."

"I...tried. Sh-she was my mom."

"Yes, she was. And I know you did."

"She did...a lot of bad things. But she was sick...and I still...loved her. My father...didn't have that excuse."

She froze, then asked softly, "What did he do?"

Propping his elbow on his knee, he rubbed his forehead. "He...was cruel. When I was about fourteen...he took me with him when he went to play poker. I...was his gopher. Every drink I fetched for him and his buddies...they forced me to take a drink...By the end of the night...well, I didn't make it to the end of the night. At first...it wasn't so bad...but then...I got sick...and he kept on...an-and...the waitress...she took me to a back room and made me lay down. I-I remember the room spinning...fast...and I threw up again...an-and...when I woke up, I was still sick as a dog...but Frank...took care of me. Mom was in the hospital...and then Dad left again. To him...it was funny as hell."

She laid there for a few minutes in silent shock. Then she drew him into her arms, fighting to keep her voice steady as she said, "He can't hurt you now, Bobby. He can't."

"I know he can't. But the memories...and the nightmares...they don't go away, Alex."

"I know." Her voice dropped in volume. "But that's what I'm here for. When you have those nightmares, and you wake up, I'm here. Just like when I have them."

"You still have no idea, Alex. And talking...talking really doesn't help."

She gently pushed him back against the mattress, resting her hands on either side of his head so that her upper body was suspended over him. "Then what will?" she asked, kissing him softly. "Just... tell me, and I'll do it."

"I-I wish there was something that would. Th-there's nothing you can do, babe. I-I can only ask one thing..."

"What?"

"D-don't leave me."

"Bobby... when have I ever left you?" she whispered, tears gathering in her eyes. "I'm not about to now."

"Th-things change," he whispered. "Hearts change."

She moved back into her original position, but kept her hand over his heart. "Not mine." She couldn't help but smile a little. "I'm old and set in my ways. You can't change what the heart wants."

"Oh? And what does the heart want?"

"Mine? You."

"Think you can deal with my...quirkiness...for the long haul?"

She pretended to think about it. "Only if you can handle my sarcasm."

"Your sarcasm is...amusing. My...oddities are just...weird."

"They're amusing to me," she pointed out.

"Well...I am who I am...you know that. I just...hope you don't get...tired of me."

"Almost nine years of us being partners has made me immune. I'll never be bored with you." She pushed herself up and ran her hand over his stomach again. "Never."

"I never said I was boring."

She grinned again as her hand continued its path up to his chest. "That's... definitely not a word I would use to describe you..." she murmured.

"I...I would never...intend to drive you away..."

She arched an eyebrow. "Like I would ever let you."

"I-I have heard that before, baby."

"Have I ever not lived up to my word?"

"Have you ever changed your mind?"

"A couple of times. And one time, it was the best decision I ever made in my life."

"Oh...what time was that?"

She leaned over and kissed him softly. "When I decided that it was worth it to tell you how much I loved you."

"Y-you changed your mind about that?"

Sighing softly, she ran a hand through her hair. "Wh-when you were in the hospital... Before then, I knew. I just... couldn't act on it. Then they told me... that you wouldn't live, and I... I decided that nothing could compare to not telling you."

He studied her, once more caught up in a confusing jumble of emotion he couldn't sort through. He buried his hand in his hair and looked away, toward the window, for once not knowing what to say.

She started to reach out, but stopped. "I-it nearly killed me, Bobby," she whispered as tears began falling in a steady stream. "To th-think that I had lost you... for good..." She took a deep gulp of air. "When I s-saw you that first time, I knew I had screwed up... by not telling you how I felt."

He heard her sob and turned toward her, pulling her into his arms. "I...I am sorry. I never meant to...put you through that." He kissed the side of her head. "I am so sorry..."

She held onto him as tightly as she could, unable to stop the tears. "I was so scared..." she whispered, burying her face in his shoulder. "That first night, th-they said that they weren't even expecting you to s-survive the night."

"I was...so tired. I hadn't been sleeping...at all...and I knew...that once she was gone...I would have nothing...n-no one. B-but I never meant...to roll the car...to...God, Alex...I never meant to do that to you."

She shivered and moved her arms to wrap around his neck. "I n-never left you," she whispered, needing him to know that. "I c-couldn't. Mike tried to make me leave once, and I went into the chapel. That's as far as I could go."

His arms slid around her and he held her tight. "Forgive me," he whispered. "I never meant to do that to you."

She continued to shiver as the memories washed over her, but she didn't release him. "Bobby, please... don't ever doubt that I love you, and would do anything to keep you right here, where you belong."

He didn't loosen his grip. "Do you?" he whispered, having difficulty finding his voice.

"Do I what, Bobby?"

"Forgive me..."

"Of course I do." She raised her tearstained face and kissed the corner of his mouth. "I did... a long time ago."

"I still...feel bad..."

"I'm just so glad that you're here now... I don't ever want to go through that again..."

"It was no picnic for me either, you know," he complained.

"I know," she said softly.

Then she sighed softly and draped one leg over his, turning into him so that their stomachs touched, and she rested her head on his shoulder. "You're always... scared that I'm going to change my mind about us. I get scared, too," she confessed, wiping at her eyes. "And these hormones... I can't stop crying." She sighed again and closed her eyes.

"Shh..." He lightly caressed her. "I-I'm done talking," he whispered.

She hugged him and kissed his neck. "Just answer something for me. Please."

He tensed, apprehensive. "What?"

"You know that I love you, and that no matter what..." She grabbed his hand and held it tightly over her stomach. "We'll always be around. You know that, don't you?"

He closed his eyes and bit his lower lip. "I...I like to think that, yes."

She snuggled willingly into his arms. "Until the day you tell me you don't want me around. And even then, I won't go without a fight, remember?"

"I...remember. I'll never make that mistake again. As hard as it was for me to lose my mother...I would never survive losing you."

A shiver went down her spine. "And what makes you think I could survive losing you?"

"You... are stronger than I am. You'd survive."

"I'm not as strong as you think, Bobby. I'm only strong when we're together."

"Bullshit. I know better. Don't sell yourself short."

She smiled. "It's true. I... couldn't even function at that hospital." She shook her head and slid her hands under his shirt.

"It might not be an easy thing to do, but you would survive it."

Her chest tightened. "Bobby... I don't want to think about that. Not now," she whispered, unwilling to move from his arms. "I love you, in ways that I thought I couldn't ever again. I hope you know that."

He gently caressed her hair, equally unwilling to release her. "I love you, too, baby. And I hope I haven't...caused any more grief for you today. Please, don't feel bad for me because of my past. It's not worth the energy to get upset."

"I'm upset, but I'll be fine."

"Don't be."

"I'll be fine," she repeated firmly, finally raising her head so she could look into his eyes. "What about you?"

He shrugged. "What about me?"

"Don't shrug at me, Goren. You know what I mean. Are you going to be okay?"

"I'll be fine," she repeated firmly, finally raising her head so she could look into his eyes. "What about you?"

"Have you ever known me not to be? I've adjusted to my life, Eames."

She sighed, snuggling against him so she could hear his rapid heartbeat. "I know. But that doesn't stop me from worrying about you."

"Eames...Alex...please...don't worry..."

She rolled her eyes. "Bobby, I've always worried about you. And now I'm going to be a mom. I'm pretty sure it comes with the territory of having a family."

He kissed her temple. "Focus on the baby, then. I'm fine."

"I do that, and this kid is going to be neurotic before she's big enough to walk," she said, laughing softly.

He arched an eyebrow. "Uh, let's not do that, okay?"

She laughed again and hugged him. "Don't worry, Bobby. Between the two of us, I think we'll do just fine with this little one."

"I hope so."

"Just as long as you and Mike don't let her walk all over you."

He raised his eyebrows in mock innocence. "Me? What are you talking about?"

She playfully poked him. "I've seen Mike with Kiska, and he's more of a hard ass than you. I can already see it."

"A hard ass? Logan's a pushover."

"Yeah, when it comes to that little girl."

"You don't know him like I do."

"Maybe not, but I have seen him with his baby. And he doesn't have much of a backbone when it comes to Carolyn, either."

His mouth quirked. "As a cop he's a hard ass, but Mike has a good heart...once you can find it."

She smiled. "I know. I've seen it."

His smile faded a little and he added, "He's a good friend, too."

"He is," she agreed. Then she started laughing again. "He's also probably eating us out of house and home right now."

"Let him. He's earned it."

"He sure has." She frowned a little and rested her hand over her stomach.

"What's wrong?"

"The baby." She inhaled sharply. "She's never kicked _this_ hard before."

"Maybe 'she' isn't a 'she,' Alex."

She looked at him. "That bugs you, doesn't it?" she asked teasingly. "Do you want to know why I refer to 'her' as a 'her'?"

"Why?" he answered, adding, "And no, it doesn't bug me."

"Well, you know that I just want a happy, healthy baby." A glint appeared in her eye. "I'm not like you, Bobby. I do... want a little girl just a little more."

"That's all right...you're allowed."

"I'm carrying this kid, Goren. I'd better be allowed," she teased, placing her palms on his chest and carefully pushing him back against the mattress.

He let her bully him onto his back and he grinned sadly. Reaching up, he brushed her hair back out of her face.

She kissed him, then rolled over and laid on her side, keeping her hand on her stomach. "I still can't believe it sometimes," she murmured, reaching out for contact by resting her other hand against his warm skin.

"Believe what?"

She nodded at her stomach. "That there's a little you growing in there." She grinned. "But then I get kicked or have a strong craving for something really weird."

"That's almost frightening, you know."

"Yeah, sometimes." She found his hand and wrapped hers tightly around his. "But it's a good kind of frightening to me."

"The jury's still out in my mind."

She snuggled into his side. "I get a little scared too, sometimes," she admitted sadly. "Almost like it's going to be... the same as last time."

"The same...you mean...that this baby won't be yours?"

She sighed softly. "I know it's ridiculous, but that's how I feel sometimes. And the dreams don't help."

"Oh, baby...not this time. This time, when all is said and done, you'll be bringing home a little one...to your home...our home."

She rested one arm across his chest and laid her head on his arm. "I know... but it's just that little voice in the back of my head, you know?"

"What can we do to chase it away?"

"Nothing. I guess it's one of those things that... just won't go away, for now."

"No one is going to take your baby away, Alex. I promise."

"Our baby," she corrected him softly as the tears started again.

"For now...you're doing all the work."

She smiled a little. "Fine. Then you can be the one who gets rid of my family when they show up ten minutes after she's born."

"Now why would I do that?"

"Because I'll have my gun, and I'll shoot them myself if you don't. That's what they did last time."

"It's different this time. No vultures waiting to swoop down and take your baby away," he promised. "So far, the only thing I've done was help create this life, and I have to admit, that was about as far from work as I get. I'm going to make that up to you after he's born."

She smiled, then thought for a minute. "You _can_ start right now, you know?"

"Oh? Aside from recreating the conception, what can I do?"

"That works, too." She sat up in the bed, rubbing her stomach slowly. "But I was thinking along the lines of some Rocky Road ice cream and salt and vinegar chips."

He raised an eyebrow. "Okay...as long as I don't have to sample." He laid a hand over his queasy stomach. "Or watch..."

She shrugged and climbed out of the bed. "Your loss," she said, walking to the door. "I think there's still some turkey and marshmallow fluff in there... if Mike hasn't eaten it all."

"Alex?"

She turned and looked at him expectantly. "What, Bobby?"

"I love you," he said simply.

She couldn't suppress the smile that lit up her face. "I love you, too," she easily replied. Then she turned and walked out of the bedroom.

Mike looked up from the plate of leftovers as Alex came into the living room. "Everything okay?"

She smiled. "We had a good talk, and I think he's feeling a lot better. And so am I."

"Good."

She walked up to him and rested a hand on his back. "Thanks for coming, Mike," she said softly.

"I'm glad I could help. He can be very stubborn."

"Yes, he can." She sat down beside him, resting her head on her hand.

"What's the matter?"

"Nothing. He just told me that he's not willing to get rid of my family," she said with a grin.

"Why would he try? He comes with the emotional trauma of an abusive childhood and you come with your family. It's part of the package. He knows that."

"That's not what I meant. I told him that my family would probably be right there not ten minutes after she's born, and I've dealt with them before. I told him that if he didn't, I'd shoot them." She shook her head. "Now I'm sure he's going to check the bag we take to the hospital for a gun."

Mike laughed. "Think about it, sweetheart. He has no family. His childhood sucked, and he's had no one up till now. He would never interfere with your family and their love for you. That's something that's precious to him because he knows what it's like not to have it. And I understand exactly how he feels. I wouldn't interfere either...well, to a point. He's got a lot more patience and diplomacy than I do."

"He does. And you're right. But I swear, if they all show up at the same time, I will find somewhere to hide."

Mike grinned. "He'll find you."

"That's fine. But if he brings them..."

"He'll convince you to face them. You know he will."

She groaned and let her head fall back. "I'm probably... just being paranoid. He knows that."

"He's a smart guy, about most things."

"Yeah, most things." Her stomach growled, and she rolled her eyes. "Yeah, yeah. I hear you," she said to her belly.

"Sit down," he insisted, gently grasping her wrist when she moved to stand up. "I'll get you something before I take off. What do you want?"

She grinned. "Are you sure you want to know?"

"Probably not. But let's hear it."

"Hmm... some of that turkey, and some marshmallow fluff and sour cream. And some salt and vinegar chips. I think they're up in one of the cabinets."

He made a face but swallowed his comment and headed to the kitchen. "Turkey with marshmallow fluff and sour cream, right..."

"I told you," she called after him.

A few minutes later, he returned with a plate of turkey and potato chips along with two small bowls, one containing sour cream, the other marshmallow fluff. "Hey, I don't have to eat it," he said with a grin. "I'm not even sure I could eat it." He retrieved a glass of milk for her and took care of his plate and coffee cup. "I'm gonna take off before the roads get any worse. Tell Bobby I said good night."

"I will," she said with a smile. "Thanks again, Mike. Tell the girls I said hi."

"Will do. Good night."

"Good night." She watched him leave, then turned her attention to her dinner.

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The wind whipped around the two men as they headed down the street away from Mike's apartment. Hunkering down into their coats, they trudged through the snow and slush, entering a small bar four blocks away. It was a smoky little place, but it was convenient to both of their apartments.

The pool table in the back was being used so they sat at the bar and ordered. "I've got a favor to ask," Mike said.

"Sure."

"Carolyn wants to move. I found a place not too far away, but I'm gonna need a hand moving furniture..."

"That's fine. I'll help. Now I want to ask you something."

"Shoot."

He fished a hand into his pocket and handed a small blue velvet box to him. Mike opened the box and studied the ring nestled in the box. "Wow. How many paychecks did that set you back?"

"That's not important. Do you think she'll like it?"

"I think you nailed it, buddy. It's beautiful, but not flashy. She's not the kind of girl who goes for bling, and this is understated enough to be classy. Yeah, she'll love it. You're gonna ask her, aren't you?"

Bobby nodded as he took the ring back and slipped it into his pocket. "She's having my baby, Mike. I have to make it...legitimate. And..." He looked into his drink. "She puts up with me...and she loves me. I'm never gonna find another woman like her, and I don't want to try. I'm done."

"Good for you."

"What about you?"

"Me? Married? I dunno. She took off on me once when things got tough. I'm a little gun-shy right now. Give me some time and...maybe. I loved her once and I got burnt. It's gonna take some time to get back there."

Bobby looked toward the back room. "The table's free. Come on."

"Quarter a ball?"

"Feeling lucky tonight?"

"Not especially...let's make it a dime."

Bobby laughed as they headed from the bar into the back room to play pool.

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Three nights later, Bobby dropped Alex off at home after work and told her he had something to do, promising not to be too late. She understood how he got and she always gave him his space. He asked her to keep dinner for him and he headed out of the city toward John Eames' house.

John opened the door, surprised to find his daughter's partner standing on the porch. "Bobby? Come on in. Is everything all right?"

"Yes, sir. I wanted to talk to you about something...important."

"Sure. Coffee? It's cold out there tonight." "Thank you." He shrugged out of his coat and hung it on the coat hooks lining the wall behind the door. Stepping down into the living room, his eyes perused the room out of long habit. It was a cozy, comfortable room, and in his mind's eye he could see Alex and her siblings gathered there on a similar cold night, doing homework and teasing one another. A soft smile touched his face and he was glad she had memories like that one to cushion her life. John returned and handed him a coffee mug. "Cream, no sugar, right?"

Bobby was impressed that he remembered. "Yes. Thank you."

"Sit down, son. Is everything all right between you and Alex?"

"Yes, sir. Things are fine."

"We missed you Christmas Day."

"I-I'm sorry about that. I...had a difficult day. It was the first...since my mother died..."

John nodded. "Alex explained. Don't apologize; I understand. Are you all right now?"

"I'm about as all right as I get," he admitted. "Thanks to Alex...which is why I came to talk to you."

John nodded and waited as Bobby studied his hands and shifted nervously. "Mr. Eames, I have always taken care of Alex. She's my partner and I value that more than I can say. I...never meant to fall in love with her, but I did. And she...she's everything to me. I...I would like to ask her...to marry me...an-and I...I would really like to do that with your blessing, sir."

John studied the younger man intently. Finally, he spoke. "Alex was married to a cop once before, and that turned into a deep tragedy for her. You know that. Normally, I would caution her against another marriage to another cop. But my daughter loves you very much. I can see that in her. I have a soft spot for my daughter, Bobby, and I only want to see her happy. With you, she is. You have my blessing, son."

Bobby let out a breath he had not even realized he was holding. "Thank you, Mr. Eames. I...I will take care of her."

"I know you will, Bobby."

They talked for a short while longer before Bobby said good night and headed home, feeling more at peace with himself than he ever had before in his life.

TBC...

A/N: Well, there ya'll have it. Bobby wants to pop the question to Alex. (big cheesy grin) Many of ya'll had been asking about that, and there's ya'll's answer. We hope this was an enjoyable chapter for everyone, and that you lovely readers will review! Thanks again for reading!


	15. Just You And Me

Okay, because I am completely psyched about tonight's new SVU, I'm updating this story again. The end of this chapter has a nice little surprise, and a LOT of smut. So be warned. And there's a tribute to another show. Whoever gets the show and the ep will get a special oneshot of their choosing dedicated to them. Sound good? Good. Now enjoy, and please remember to leave your guess in the review.

Disclaimer: Not ours! But dang, if they were mine, El and Liv would so be making out in tonight's new episode!

BAMCBAMCBAMCBAMCBAMCBAMC

Carolyn sat down on the wooden bench beside Mike, her heart racing. Michelle had not yet been brought in, and she wasn't looking forward to seeing the other woman, at all. Bobby slid in beside her, and she sighed and closed her eyes.

Alex grinned as she peered through the doors leading into the courtroom, and she immediately spotted Bobby, Mike and Carolyn. "Your daddy doesn't know me very well," she said to her belly. "He thinks that I won't come to support him. He has a lot to learn, doesn't he?" The baby kicked, and she laughed softly, then walked into the gallery. No one noticed her, and she silently sat down beside Bobby, her hand coming to rest on his leg.

Bobby started and turned toward her, a deep frown on his face. "I thought you had something to do," he whispered.

"I do. Be here for you," she whispered back, squeezing his leg.

"Alex..." he began.

She shook her head. "Save your breath. I'm not going anywhere."

He sighed and ran a hand over his face. He hadn't been so bad before; now he was tense.

She scooted a little closer to him and moved her hand to cover his.

He softly sighed and closed his eyes. Normally, her presence was calming for him, but not today.

She squeezed his hand and pulled it into her lap, then looked past him. "Hey, you two," she said softly to Mike and Carolyn.

Mike leaned forward. "I thought you weren't coming."

She shrugged. "I changed my mind."

Carolyn looked at her thoughtfully. "Are you going to be okay?" she asked, and Alex nodded.

"I'll be fine," she said firmly, reaching out to squeeze Carolyn's shoulder.

Mike looked at Bobby. "Are _you_ gonna be okay?"

Bobby's tight nod was not very reassuring to him.

Alex saw Michelle's defense attorney arrive and sit down at the table, and her eyes narrowed as he opened his suitcase and began sifting through papers.

Bobby noticed someone on the other side of the gallery and he excused himself. Crossing to the other side he eased himself into the empty seat beside a woman he recognized. "Hello, Sergeant," he said softly.

Coulter turned her head in surprise at the familiar voice, and she smiled at Bobby. "Well, you're looking a lot better than when I last saw ya," she said, reaching out to shake his hand.

He accepted her hand. "I guess I am. Did they call you to testify?"

"Yeah. Bunch of idiots prancin' around in monkey suits, if ya ask me."

He smiled. "It's part of the job. I, uh, I never properly thanked you...for what you did."

She waved a hand dismissively. "It's part of the job. No need to thank me."

"At least allow me to take you to dinner...as a proper thank you."

"Like I said, I have my own little girl that age. I was proud to help." Her eyes shifted to where his friends were sitting, and she grinned. "That your family?" she asked.

"M-my partner, and friends."

She nodded. "That's good. Support's always a good thing."

"Yes, it is. So...what do you say, Sergeant? Allow my partner and me to treat you to dinner tonight?"

She sighed in fake exasperation, then grinned. "Fine."

He smiled and touched her elbow. "I'll talk to you after adjournment."

"All right."

He returned to his seat and teased his partner. "I've got a date tonight."

She looked at him with mild interest. "Really?"

He smiled. "Really."

She poked him. "Who with?"

He laughed. "We're going to take Sergeant Coulter to dinner tonight."

She smiled. "Good. I've been wanting to thank her."

The scene was all too familiar as the bailiffs led Michelle out into the courtroom, the shackles around her ankles clinking noisily. Her cool eyes scanned the gallery, and she smirked a little when she saw them a fair distance away. They had learned. She watched as Mike's arm slid around Carolyn, as though that could protect her. Bobby's arm did the same with Alex, and she rolled her eyes. The bailiffs continued to guide her, until they reached the defense table. She sat down defiantly beside her lawyer, who nodded at her. But her attention was elsewhere.

Carolyn settled back against the uncomfortable back of the bench, but her attention was immediately diverted when she heard a door open, and the clinking sound of handcuffs. She closed her eyes, then steeled her entire body and looked at Michelle, who was being led into the room by two bailiffs. Mike's arm went around her, and she willingly moved closer to him and breathed deeply.

Bobby met Michelle's eyes and he was surprised to find no emotion inside him. He held the cold, steely gaze without flinching, as if daring her to try lashing out again. She was done, and he had come out on top. He was alive.

Alex saw Michelle's cruel eyes focused on her partner, and she glared at her, then eased an arm around Bobby. "Psycho," she muttered under her breath.

Bobby's eyes narrowed and he subconsciously thrust his chin out a little, his expression taunting.

Michelle smirked and gave him a little wave.

His mouth quirked into a brief smile, but it was all the reply she got from him.

Alex placed her other hand on his leg possessively, her head resting on his shoulder. Her possessiveness was clear in her eyes, and she dared Michelle to try and challenge that.

Michelle's gaze flitted briefly to Alex's pregnant stomach, and her anger rose. She stared at Mike and Carolyn for a few moments, then turned her head away from all of them.

Bobby's smile widened. He leaned toward his partner and spoke softly. "She didn't like seeing you pregnant," he murmured. "Stay on your guard, please."

She nodded. "I saw," she whispered back, not moving her head from his shoulder. "And you know I will."

"She tried to kill me twice. I don't want her to have a third opportunity."

"She won't get it," she assured him, gripping him tightly and not caring who could see.

Mike leaned in again. "She really doesn't like you guys, does she?"

Alex shook her head. "No."

"That's not a good place to be," he replied with a grin.

"It's not," she agreed, gripping Bobby's shoulder.

He stroked her knee. "It's fine. Don't worry; I'll take care of you," he promised.

"As long as I can take care of you."

He snorted but didn't reply. Leaning back against the bench, he glanced back toward the defense table, determined not to let anything get out of hand again.

A hush finally fell over the courtroom, and Alex crossed her arms and focused on what was happening in front of them.

Bobby knew that posture and he knew he was going to hear about it later, but he didn't need protecting and he sure as hell did not need her getting anywhere near Michelle. His tension returned and his stomach knotted. He had a bad feeling, and he hoped it was just nerves.

Michelle watched with disinterest as the judge appeared and slowly sat down in his seat. She crossed her legs and rested her arms on the table, growing bored.

The judge studied the defendant, the only person in the courtroom who had not risen to her feet when he took the bench, in spite of her attorney's urging. He felt a contempt charge in the making somewhere along the way. He listened as the bailiff called the case and he turned to Michelle. "Ms. Benevidez, you are charged with assault and kidnapping, attempted murder of two court officers, assaulting a police officer, two counts of attempted murder of said police officer and making terroristic threats. That is quite a string of serious charges. How do you plead?"

"Not guilty."

"Ms. Kent, you may make your opening statement."

Kent stepped from behind her table and addressed the jury. "In an act of extreme violence, Ms. Benevidez attacked a former NYPD detective, leaving her seriously injured and kidnapping her infant daughter. Following the path of the missing infant, Major Case detectives Logan and Goren traveled to Murphy, North Carolina and regained custody of the baby. In full cooperation with the local authorities, Detective Goren tried to arrest Ms. Benevidez, who then shot him, seriously injuring him. After a struggle, Ms. Benevidez was taken into custody after being minorly injured, and extradicted back to New York. Following her bail hearing, Ms. Benevidez shot and grievously injured two officers of the court and escaped custody."

"Detectives Logan and Goren took her back into custody during a second kidnapping attempt of the same child, and once again, Ms. Benevidez attempted to take Detective Goren's life, shooting him point blank in the chest. It is our contention that, in addition to her guilt, Ms. Benevidez has demonstrated herself a threat to society and the prosecution will be seeking maximum security incarceration for this defendant."

The judge nodded and turned his attention to the defense attorney. "Mr. Granger."

Granger rose to his feet and addressed the jury. "My client first met Miss Barek a year and a half ago, when she moved to North Carolina. Miss Benevidez welcomed Miss Barek into her own home and helped her through her pregnancy and birth of the child she was carrying. She was nothing but kind to Miss Barek, and the evidence that the detectives found in Miss Barek's car was transferred during the time that Miss Barek lived with Miss Benevidez." He took a breath. "The shooting was an act of self defense that she made for fear of the lives of her five sons. She realizes that she was wrong, and doesn't deny that she is an ill woman. So the only reasonable thing to do here is not to punish my client, but to make sure she gets the help she desperately needs."

Mike snorted. "Oh, gee...what a surprise. An insanity defense."

Bobby remained silent as he watched Michelle at the defense table. Insanity...of course she would go for that. But he knew she was stone cold sane...and evil. He had seen that in her eyes.

"Crazy, yeah," Alex muttered. "Crazy like a fox."

He found her hand and gently squeezed. "The most dangerous kind," he murmured.

She squeezed his hand in response.

He continued to watch Michelle as the judge instructed Kent to begin her case. Absently, his hand strayed to his partner's abdomen, where the baby moved under his hand. Where that little one normally had the ability to calm him, he felt his tension increase in response to an unspoken threat that lingered in the air, just because Michelle was in the room.

Alex could feel the slight tremors that went through his body, and she welcomed the move when his hand settled over her abdomen. She knew that the baby's movements comforted him, and she ran her hand lightly over his back to help.

He appreciated the contact and drew his eyes from the front of the courtroom toward Alex. Meeting her eyes, he tried to relax but found himself unable to ease the tension he felt. The protective instinct in him was at full bore.

She gave him a soft, reassuring smile and nodded at him. Then she returned her attention to the scene that was unfolding in front of them.

Carolyn's stomach was lurching, and she couldn't steady it. Every time her eyes met Michelle's, guilt poured over her in cold waves. She had brought her into their lives. She had been hurt, and that was her own damn fault. But Bobby... that was inexcusable. She had never wanted any of this, and as cliched as it sounded, she wanted the time back to do over. Maybe she wouldn't have lost Mike's trust. Bobby wouldn't have been hurt, and she wouldn't have lost their second child. The nightmares still haunted her, and even when she found shelter in Mike's arms, the pain still lingered over her.

Mike knew this wasn't going to be easy for Carolyn. He knew she blamed herself for bringing the evil Michelle represented on them, and he had tried to convince her that it wasn't her fault. He didn't blame her and he was certain it would never occur to Bobby and Alex to blame her either. But he couldn't chase away the guilt or the nightmares, and that make him feel...impotent. He hated that feeling, but he had no idea what he could do.

She leaned forward on the bench, crossing her arms and hanging her head slightly. The woman at the table in front of them, to Carolyn, represented everything that she had done in the past two years. She had been a friend to her for those twelve months, and part of her still couldn't understand what had happened. She had always told herself that, if she had known her daughter was Mike's, or even if she had turned out to be Bobby's, she wouldn't have gone. And, looking back, she still couldn't believe she had even gone. Therapy had forced her to take a long hard look at the past two years, and she had slowly come to realize something that she really knew all along. That if she had stayed, no one would have blamed or persecuted her for that cold night. But she hadn't seen that.

She raised her head slightly and looked around at her friends. The people that she thought of as family. She had hurt them all, especially Mike and Bobby. She knew that. And because of that, this had happened. The bitter taste of bile rose in her mouth, and she wordlessly reached out and touched Bobby's shoulder, then rested her hand on Mike's leg, if only for the comfort of being able to feel him.

The two men turned toward her at the touch of her hand, Mike with interest and Bobby with curiosity. Mike rested a hand over hers and Bobby brushed the back of his fingers along her cheek, a gesture of comfort, before turning his attention back toward the defendant's table and gripping Alex's hand, determined to protect both women from a danger neither seemed to perceive.

Kent called Coulter to the stand.

Coulter rose up from her seat and moved gracefully across the floor, casting a disdainful look as she passed Michelle at the defendant's table. She sat down in the witness' chair, folded her hands in her lap, and looked at Kent expectantly.

Kent began. "Please state your name and occupation for the record, Sergeant."

She sat up straighter and said, "My name's Megan Coulter, and I'm a sergeant with the Murphy, North Carolina police department."

"What is you connection to the defendant, Michelle Benevidez?"

"I shot, disarmed and arrested her," she stated.

"Why did you arrest her, Sergeant?"

"Because she kidnapped a child and shot a fellow officer."

"Were you witness to either of those events?"

"To the shooting, yes."

"Do you know the officer she shot?"

"Yes. Detective Robert Goren."

"The defense contends Ms. Benevidez acted in self-defense. Do you concur with that claim?"

A dark frown spread over her face. "No, I don't."

"Can you tell the court why?"

"Because not only did Detective Goren want to bring Ms. Benevidez back to New York for justice, there were children in the house."

"Ms. Benevidez claims that her life, and the lives of her children, were threatened and that was why she shot Detective Goren."

"She was in no danger. Detective Goren didn't even pull his gun-"

"Objection," Granger called. "The witness stated that she only arrived after Detective Goren was already on the floor."

"Overruled. The witness made no such statement."

Kent sought clarification. "Sergeant, were you witness to the fact that Detective Goren did not pull his gun?"

Coulter looked at Granger as though he were insane. "Yes, I was. I may not have seen everything leading up to the shooting, but when I was attempting to save Detective Goren's life, I saw that his gun was still in its holster."

"Thank you, Sergeant. Your witness."

"The defense has no questions for this witness, your Honor."

The judge nodded at Coulter. "Thank you, Sergeant. You may step down."

Next, Kent called Logan to the stand.

Carolyn reached over and squeezed Mike's hand, silently encouraging him as his name was called.

Mike gave her a grin as he squeezed back and stood up. He met Bobby's eyes then moved out to the aisle, squeezing Alex's shoulder as he passed her. He was sworn in on the stand and identified himself for the court. Kent asked, "Were you witness to the shooting we have been discussing, Detective Logan?"

"No, I wasn't. I was back in New York."

"But you did go with him to North Carolina?"

"I did. I rescued the baby from her captor and brought her home while Detective Goren remained behind to take her into custody."

"What is your connection to the baby, detective?"

"DNA testing has proven me to be her father."

"After the defendant's escape, you and Detective Goren confronted her during a second kidnapping attempt."

"Yes, we did."

"And what transpired during that arrest?"

"She pulled a weapon on us and shoved it into my partner's chest. She pulled the trigger at point blank range. His vest saved his life."

"Was her life threatened then?"

"No. We intended only to take her back into custody."

"Thank you, Detective. Your witness."

Granger skimmed through a couple of papers before standing up. "Detective, you said that DNA proved you to be the child's father. Was there... ever a time when you doubted her paternity?"

"Until the DNA test, we didn't know who her father was, no."

"Were there any other possibilities?"

"Uh, yes."

"Correct me if I'm wrong, Detective, but wasn't one of those men my client's husband, Brad Cummings?"

"To the best of my knowledge, there were two other possibilities. Another friend and an unknown man who raped her."

Granger nodded. "The unknown man was Brad Cummings. They had a consensual, sexual relationship."

"Um, no. And unless you were there, pal, you cannot make that assumption."

Granger looked at the papers in his hand. "There was no evidence of this _supposed_ attack. No hospital records, no police report."

"Were you there, buster? I think the word of an NYPD officer carries some weight around here."

Granger glared at him. "Former NYPD. And it's easy to carry on a physical relationship and claim rape when one regrets it the morning after."

Kent rose from her seat. "Objection, your honor. The child's paternity has been established and has no bearing on this case. Mr. Granger is harassing the witness."

"Sustained. Move on, Mr. Granger and keep your questioning pertinent to the case."

Granger nodded placidly. "As Mr. Cumming's wife, Miss Benevidez firmly believed that she had every right to that child, because she believed the father of the child was her husband. Do you agree, Detective?"

"Hell, no."

"Why not?"

"Well, first of all, Carolyn Barek is the child's MOTHER, brainiac! Your client has no claim to that child no matter what her screwed up _brother_ told her. And how does this have anything to do with the fact that your client over there shot a cop...twice. That's why we're here."

"No more questions, your Honor."

"You may step down, detective. Go on, Ms. Kent."

"I call Detective Robert Goren to the stand."

As Mike passed him, he muttered, "Have fun. Don't let him have you for dinner, buddy. He sharpened his teeth on me."

Bobby smiled. "Don't worry about me, Mike."

Stepping up to the stand, Bobby was sworn in and he looked toward the defense table.

Michelle narrowed her eyes at Bobby, her entire body going rigid before she turned her head and looked at Alex. Then she focused her eyes on Bobby again, this time with a hateful glint in her light blue orbs.

His expression didn't change, but his gut tightened. He drew his gaze away as Kent spoke to him. "Detective, you were the arresting officer when Ms. Benevidez was taken into custody, were you not?"

"Um, no, I wasn't."

"Explain that for us, please."

"I did inform her that she was under arrest, but she...pulled a weapon on me and when I attempted to talk her down, she shot me. Sergeant Coulter took her into custody."

"Talk her down? The defendant contends that she shot you because she felt you were endangering her life and the lives of her children."

Bobby shook his head. "That's not true. My gun was in its holster. I did not draw. Ms. Benevidez was not in any danger from me. That's not how I work. My weapon is my last resort."

"And in the home of James and Angela Deakins? Did you draw?"

"No, I did not."

"So why did Ms. Benevidez shoot you?"

Bobby shrugged. "You will have to ask her that, Counselor. I don't know. But I never once threatened her, and I certainly did not threaten the children that were being harbored in her home."

"Harbored?"

"There were four boys in her home that had previously been kidnapped. They are currently being reunited with their families. Sergeant Coulter has been involved with finding the boys' parents."

Kent looked surprised at the revelation. "There were five..."

"The oldest actually is hers. She's abused and berated the boy for years, but now...I think he's finally going to be all right"  
"I never touched him!" Michelle snarled, rising to her feet.

Bobby leaned back in the chair and looked at her, his expression impassive, as the judge ordered her back to her seat.

His eyes narrowed as he met the cold blue of her eyes and a brief change in his expression told her to bring it on.

The challenge in his eyes infuriated her, and she whipped her head back to where Alex, Carolyn and Mike were sitting. "She's mine!" she screamed, taking a step in their direction. "I never touched any of my children!" She took another step.

"Mr. Granger, control your client!"

Mike moved to step in front of the two women and Bobby was on his feet, ready to intercept if she took another step toward Alex and Carolyn.

Granger attempted to grab her, but she grabbed him and shoved him into the table, then reached into her orange jumpsuit.

Carolyn's breath caught in her throat, and she instinctively grabbed Mike's arm.

Bobby ran forward, successfully getting his body between Michelle and Alex. From the corner of his eye he thought he saw Carolyn trying to restrain Mike and he frowned briefly.

When Carolyn saw Bobby step between Alex and Michelle, she moved and grabbed Alex's arm, pulling the smaller woman a safe distance away from the confrontation.

In grabbing Alex, Carolyn released her hold on Mike's arm and he headed toward the confrontation from one side as a bailiff and two prison guards came at her from the other side.

Michelle looked around, and she made another attempt to reach the pregnant woman, but to no avail. Strong arms grabbed her, and she screamed and struggled against them.

Bobby remained between Michelle and Alex as the guards and the bailiff dragged her screaming from the courtroom. Mike appeared at his side. As the door closed, he dropped his chin to his chest and willed his racing heart to stop pounding.

Alex pulled away from Carolyn and went to her partner, grabbing his arm and staring up into his eyes. "Are you okay?" she demanded.

He shook his head, then added, "I will be. Give me a minute."

She sighed shakily and squeezed his arm, then sat down to calm her own pounding heart.

After a minute, Bobby approached Kent. "Uh, am I done, Counselor?"

Kent nodded. "We're in adjournment until tomorrow at ten."

"Um, the defendant?"

"I don't know, detective. She just took a giant step toward proving her lawyer's case."

"Don't let her fool you, Counselor. She's deluded, and that was rage. But when she shot me, she knew exactly what she was doing."

"Well, plan to be here in the morning. I'll call you if anything changes."

He nodded and moved away from her. Returning to Mike and the two women, he said, "Let's get out of here."

Alex started to push herself off of the bench, and Carolyn said softly to Mike, "I need to see her."

He frowned. "Her who?"

"Our daughter, Mike." She ran a hand through her hair and walked away from the group.

He looked relieved, waved a hand to Bobby and Alex and hurried after Carolyn.

Physically exhausted, Alex looked at Bobby and said, "You ready to go home?"

He extended a hand to help her up. "Sure. Let's go."

She gripped his hand and stood up, her knees weak and her head suddenly pounding. "Yeah, home sounds really good right now."

He leaned closer. "Are you all right?"

She nodded. "I'm fine. Just tired."

Holding her arm, he gently guided her out of the courtroom.

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After taking a nap to recover her energy from the excitement of the morning, Alex was laying on her side with her hand resting over her stomach. "That was scary today," she whispered to the swell in her abdomen. "You're so precious to me and your daddy. No matter what, I'm going to protect you." She raised the shirt she had borrowed from Bobby a little and ran her fingertips along the front of her belly.

The door opened a little and Bobby poked his head in. "Alex?"

She raised her head and looked at him. "What, baby?"

He came into the room with a bowl of soup. "I thought you might be hungry."

She sat up and smiled at him, not bothering to adjust the shirt. "Thanks," she said softly as she accepted the bowl.

He sat on the edge of the bed and stroked her stomach with his fingertips while she ate.

Once she was finished, she placed the empty bowl on the nightstand, then settled against the pillows with one hand on her stomach.

"Feel better?" he asked.

"Yes. You take good care of us," she said, smiling.

He looked at his hand. "You know...when I confronted her on my own and with Logan...I wasn't...frightened...to confront her. But today, when she went for you...I was."

She propped her head up with her hand. "So was I," she admitted quietly.

"I...wasn't going to let her get to you."

Reaching out, she laid her hand on his cheek. "I know. And neither was Carolyn," she said, remembering how the other woman had grabbed her and nearly hauled her to safety. Then she added, "Or Mike."

He nodded but remained silent.

Gently, she pulled him down beside her, draping her arm over his waist and letting her fingertips glide past his shirt and over his skin. "Something else is bothering you," she commented, caressing him gently.

"No...no...I'm fine."

"I love you," she murmured, pressing her forehead against his as her fingertips moved lower, then began toying with the waist band of his pants.

He closed his eyes and shuddered. "Baby..."

"What?" she whispered, kissing her way from his temple to his slightly parted lips.

He caught her hand and held it, closing his eyes and taking the time to calm himself down. "I need to talk to you," he said after a few moments.

"About what?"

"Give me a minute," he whispered, pulling her closer to him and wrapping his arm around her. His mind was racing and so was his heart.

She snuggled down into his arms and rested her head against his chest, waiting patiently for him to gather his thoughts.

"Alex," he said at last. "Where do you see yourself in twenty years?"

Her hand drifted down to her stomach, and she shrugged a little. "I... don't know, baby. I... thought I knew, once. But I was wrong." She took a deep breath. "But I see you, and a younger version of you."

"Me?"

"Yes."

He nodded his head slowly. "I used to see...nothing," he admitted.

"Now what do you see?" she murmured.

He thought about it. "My future used to be blank, because I really didn't much care if I had one. But now..." His hand once more strayed over her swollen abdomen. Then he stroked her cheek. "Now I have...a future...a reason to...look forward to tomorrow."

His words brought tears to her eyes, and she smiled softly. "I'm glad."

He nodded. "So am I." He paused again. "Uh, Alex...what would you think about...securing that future...for good?"

Her eyes widened. "Wh-what do you mean, Bobby?"

He drew a small box from his pocket, opening it and holding it out to her. "I mean...would you consider...making me a permanent partner...forever?"

Tears spilled down her cheeks as she picked up the ring with trembling fingers and studied it. It was understated, but beautiful, and she couldn't help her sharp intake of air. "Oh, Bobby..." She pressed one hand to her mouth for a moment, then slid the ring onto her left ring finger. "Yes, Bobby. Yes."

He smiled, taking her hand. "You like it?"

"I love it. But I love you more," she whispered, kissing him softly.

"I love you, too," he murmured. With a smile, he drew her in and this time he didn't stop her.

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When they got back home, Carolyn took their daughter from Mike's arms and walked into the bedroom. Kiska giggled and babbled as Carolyn laid her on the bed, then pulled off her clothes, exchanging them for one of Mike's shirts.

With a sigh, she climbed onto the bed with her daughter, stretching out on her side and pulling her little girl close.

Kiska yawned and snuggled into Carolyn's arms, making her smile sadly as she stroked the little girl's curls. And as she laid there, she began to think.

She had never really expected children to be part of her life. As an only child, she had always been focused on her future, and for some reason, children weren't in it. She had been content with her entire life, until that night.

But she didn't regret for a moment having her daughter. And ever since they had laid that newborn baby in her arms, she had never been the same. Not that she would ever want to go back. She had never been one to regret things that happened in her life. When she made mistakes, she saw them as learning experiences. But in the past two years, she had done something that she had regretted, even disliked herself for. She had left. And if she had stayed gone, like she planned... she shuddered at the thought.

But looking at the child in her arms, she knew what she wanted from her life. She wanted to be a mother to this little girl. She had screwed up in her life, one of those being not going to the hospital after her attack. But if she had, and if she had gotten the morning after pill, or if she had given her up for adoption, she wouldn't have her little angel in her life right now. And that thought shook her to her very core.

She heard Mike in the living room, and her thoughts turned to him and his relationship with their daughter. At first, he had been awkward, even somewhat unwilling, to be involved. But now, anyone could see how much he adored the little girl snuggled against her chest. And he wasn't the only one. Bobby and Alex both loved the little girl like she was their own. Carolyn could plainly see that.

Kiska began to fuss, and Carolyn hugged her close and kissed her soft head, humming softly to her. She soon settled again, and Carolyn closed her own eyes.

She heard the door open, but she made no move to sit up. "She's almost asleep," she said quietly.

"I can come back," he answered, starting to leave.

"It's your room, too. You can come in here." She patted the bed on her other side to emphasize her point.

Quietly, he approached the bed and sat down. Kiska's head popped up. "Da!"

Carolyn sighed and dropped her head back against the pillow. "So much for that idea," she said, a smile tugging at her mouth.

He held out his hands and she jumped into them. In a few moments, he had her giggling.

Carolyn turned onto her other side and studied them. In her life, she had only ever caught brief glances of such pure love, but now, she saw it every day, in the eyes of their little girl.

Kiska laughed again, and the look on Mike's face as he held the little girl was a reminder of why she had fallen in love with him. She reached out and laid a gentle hand on his leg, an unspoken desire flaming in her dark eyes.

He looked at her and gave her his best 'bad boy' grin. "Do we need a babysitter?" he asked, winking.

She smiled and squeezed his leg, then pushed herself into a sitting position. Mindful of their daughter, she brushed her lips against his, her hand traveling bravely along the inside of his thigh.

"Better watch it," he murmured. "Or baby's gonna get an education."

She smiled. "It was your idea to get her all excited about seeing Daddy." Her eyes darkened. "Get her to sleep, or call Bobby. Please."

He looked at the baby, who was now wide awake and wanting to play. "I'll be back in a few minutes."

She leaned over and kissed him softly. "Okay." Then she settled back against the pillows, tucking her hands under her head.

Forty minutes later, he was back. "We're lucky for two reasons."

She moved over in the bed, his shirt rising on her as she did. "Why?"

He sat down, following the course of his shirt up her body with his hand. "He loves that kid as much as he does and he doesn't sleep like normal people do."

She shivered under his hand. Two months, a year... time didn't change the effect his touch was still capable of. "That's... good," she murmured.

_Baby, take off your coat _

_We ain't in no hurry _

_I see the fear in your eyes _

_But girl, don't you worry _

_I'll keep the candles lit all night _

_So you'll know everything's all right _

_We've got everything we need _

_And it's just you and me_

"Yeah..." he murmured, leaning down to claim her body with his own.

She inhaled sharply as his larger body settled over hers. Two months... For two months they hadn't touched like this, because of her injuries, among other things. But she pushed those facts to the side and ran her fingertips along his back, reacquainting her hands with the dips and curves of his body.

He had been patient over the past few months, but enforced abstinence made his body, once wakened, overwhelmingly demanding and once started on the path it now took, would settle for nothing less than the release it needed.

As his actions intensified, she reached up and grabbed the bottom of his shirt, pulling it over his head. Then she reached down and unbuttoned his jeans with shaking hands.

She was naked beneath him in seconds and he wasted no time in shedding his own clothes. He wanted to enjoy her body, but he was overwhelmed by a driving need to finish the task at hand as quickly as he could. Head and heart pounding, he buried himself inside her and struggled to take it slowly. His body, however, had other plans, particularly once she began to writhe and moan beneath him.

_I've got the covers turned down _

_Come lay here beside me _

_Oh, baby, let down your hair _

_And your doubts about me _

_I'm gonna make you feel tonight _

_Like you've never felt in your life _

_We've got everything we need _

_And it's just you and me_

She gasped softly when he entered her, but pleasure quickly overwhelmed her, and she eased her legs around his waist, encouraging him further. As he moved inside of her, tears filled her eyes, and she clung to him tighter. She hadn't truly realized how much she had missed this, the way he moved, the way he touched her. A soft groan rumbled through his chest, and she framed his face with her hands and claimed his mouth with hers.

He couldn't stop now if he tried and his body moved of its own accord, driving harder and faster toward release. It wasn't until it achieved its goal that it finally allowed him to return and he shuddered and groaned deeply, pushing hard against her, before his arms gave out and he dropped to the bed beside her.

She struggled to catch her breath as he collapsed beside her, and it was a few moments before she turned onto her side, resting her forehead against his.

He took a few moments to recover before opening his eyes and looking at her. She had a beautiful face, and it never ceased to amaze him that just looking at her could cause such a stirring of love inside him. He had never thought such a thing was possible, not for him.

She saw his stormy green eyes open, and she reached out and rested her palm against his cheek. Her body was still calming down, and she continued to move her thumb absently along his jaw.

"I've missed you," she finally whispered, her hand moving from his cheek to run along his side.

"Welcome back," he answered.

She smiled and cupped the back of his neck, pulling him in for another kiss. She really had. She had missed the connection that only them being together could provide. A twinge in her ribs was the only physical reminder of the lost time, but she easily ignored it and deepened the kiss.

He returned the kiss, gently stroking her body as he gave himself time to recover.

She shuddered again beneath his hand, then turned until he was laying on his back and she was suspended over him. Then she lowered herself down, kissing the corner of his mouth before resting her head under his chin.

He wrapped his arms around her and gently stroked her hair along her back. He sighed softly, and he was content.

_There ain't no one around and the only sound _

_Is your heart beating next to mine _

_Cast your fears in the fire, give into your desire _

_Put your faith into me _

_Cause I've got everything we need _

_And it's just you and me_

She relaxed completely in his arms and closed her eyes. "Love you," she whispered, her fingers drifting up to play with his thick hair.

Relaxing completely, he murmured back, "Love you, too."

A few minutes of content silence passed, then Carolyn's hand paused in his hair. "How long is Bobby going to keep the baby?" she asked, moving her head a little.

"Until tomorrow, unless I call him."

Grinning, her arms went around him, and she hugged him tightly. "Good," she said, her hand straying between them to run along his stomach, and lower.

He groaned, eyes closed, then caught his breath. "Oh, baby," he murmured.

Her grin widened, and she chuckled softly. "I told you I missed you," she smirked, lowering her lips to his.

He kissed her hungrily and let her lead the way.

She let the kiss continue for several long moments, then slowly lowered herself down onto him, groaning softly. "You're not going... anywhere tonight," she whispered, raising and lowering herself again.

Too overwhelmed to speak, he silently agreed with her and let her have her way.

She continued her slow, torturous movements until he groaned out loud and she felt his fingers grasp her hips. Then she began moving faster, letting her body set its own pace.

His mind spun and his body seemed to move of its own accord, craving contact, then friction, then...her. He no longer had control of himself, and he trusted himself to her completely.

_There ain't no one around and the only sound _

_Is your heart beating next to mine _

_Cast your fears in the fire, give into your desire _

_Put your faith into me _

_Cause I've got everything we need _

_And it's just you and me_

She moved again, letting go of her own control when she heard his gasp of release. Her entire body seemed to go slack, and she collapsed into his open arms, settling her head on his heaving chest.

It was an unfamiliar feeling for him, he reflected as he came down from his high and held her tight. But for the first time in his life, he felt complete.

She felt his arms tighten around her, and she reached up and rested her hand in his hair. "I'm right here, and I'm staying," she whispered breathlessly.

He stroked her back lightly, and he hoped that she meant what she was saying.

Exhaustion was creeping in on her, but she fought it and slowly raised her head. "Are you cold?" she asked, smoothing his hair away from his forehead.

"Hmmm...no."

"Good." She kissed him briefly, then laid her head on his chest again. His heart was beating rapidly beneath her ear, and she gently stroked his skin with soft fingertips.

_Oh, baby let down your hair _

_And your doubts about me_

With a soft sigh, he let his eyes drift closed and he gave in to sleep.

She watched him slip away into sleep, and she smiled softly as she stroked his hair again. "I'm not leaving, Mike," she whispered again, kissing the area above his heart. "I love you."

His deep breathing continued, and already she wanted him again. But sleep was beckoning, and they had all night. Pulling the blankets over them, she settled on top of him again and closed her eyes. This was going to be a long night, indeed. She couldn't help but smile as a peaceful sleep slid over her.

TBC...

A/N: So, there ya'll have it. Bobby and Alex are engaged, and Mike and Carolyn are getting closer. The song in there is Tracy Lawrence's Just You And Me, one of my all time favorite love songs. So beautiful. The nod is in there somewhere, and as I said before, whoever guesses the show and episode gets a oneshot of their choosing. So let's see those guesses, people! Thanks again for reading!


	16. Blood Red

Who else is kind of excited about tonight's ep, but more excited about next week's? I know I am! Woot! Poor Bobby. And I'm wondering about this nephew. If Frank didn't have a kid, there's another sibling of Bobby's we don't know about. That would be interesting. Hmm... Anyways, enjoy this chapter, and be warned: There is a cliffhanger! (hears bull dozer revving, runs to hide under sink)

Disclaimer: Not ours!

BAMCBAMCBAMCBAMCBAMC

Carolyn's eyes were nervously scanning the room as the four of them took their seats in the gallery. Last night had wiped away most of her fears, and for the first time in nearly a month, she hadn't woken up with nightmares. But as she waited for them to bring Michelle into the courtroom, her bravery was fast fading.

Sensing her apprehension, Mike reached over and grasped her hand, holding firm and willing her to be strong.

She tightened her hand around his, squeezing it in silent appreciation.

Alex took her seat next to Bobby, threading her fingers through his as she settled uncomfortably on the bench.

Bobby made sure Alex was seated on the inside, between him and Mike. He was taking no chances.

Alex pulled Bobby's hand into her lap, her fingertips absently tracing the lines of his palm as she waited for Michelle to make her appearance.

Michelle was already furious as she was led into the courtroom and not released until she was seated at the defendant's table. She turned her head and glared at the three detectives seated in the gallery. Alex was seated between the two men, and Bobby's face held a look of pure challenge. Her lawyer tapped on her shoulder, but she continued to stare at the detectives.

Bobby met Michelle's eyes without flinching. He was confident in his victory. He had successfully drawn her venom from Carolyn and he had survived two attempts on his life. Alex's biggest fear was that the third time was a charm, but he wasn't superstitious. Since C.J. had come to realize that his mother could no longer reach him, and he was reassured by the new life Bobby had arranged for him, his girlfriend and their baby, he felt the threat to Alex was diminished. As long as he could protect her here, there was nothing Michelle could do to her and their baby.

Carolyn did not like the way Michelle was looking at her friends, and she sent her a glare of her own.

Michelle saw the glare Carolyn was sending her, but she was unfazed. Her cold eyes focused on Alex's stomach for a moment longer, then she finally turned around at her lawyer's persistent urging.

Instinctively, Bobby settled a hand over the baby in Alex's belly, a protective gesture that was not lost on her.

With a small smile, Alex rested her hand over Bobby's and settled her head on his shoulder. "We love you," she whispered into his ear.

"I love you, too," he murmured back, bringing his hand to rest lightly on her thigh as he focused his attention back on the defendant's back.

Michelle could feel a piercing gaze on her back, and she smirked and folded her arms on the table. Then she laid her head on her arms, barely listening to the droning voice that belonged to the judge.

The judge looked at Granger. "Are you done with your cross-examination of Detective Goren, Mr. Granger?"

"Yes, your Honor."

The judge turned toward Kent. "Miss Kent?"

"I would like to recall Detective Goren."

Bobby squeezed Alex's hand and returned to the stand, where he was reminded that he was still under oath. Settling into the witness chair, he shot a glance toward the defense table.

His attention returned to Kent. "Detective, you were telling us about the kidnapped children who were found in the defendant's home."

"There were five boys. The oldest one is the only one that actually was hers. The other boys were taken from families across the nation. That was one reason the defendant continued to move from state to state, to elude the authorities."

Michelle fumed, her hands forming fists and her fingernails bit into the beds of her palms.

"Where are the children now?"

He glanced toward Coulter, who held up three fingers.

"Three boys are back with their parents. The fourth one belongs to a family on the West Coast. Contact has only just been made. He'll be home within the week."

"And the oldest boy?"

His eyes strayed toward Michelle. "He's safe."

Kent raised an eyebrow. "Excuse me, detective?"

"I'm sorry, Counselor. For the boy's protection, that's all I can say."

"You believe he is in some danger?"

"I know he is."

"And the source of this threat?"

"The threat comes from his mother. She coerced the boy into seeking out and harming my partner, as a strike against me. But he did not have the heart to harm a pregnant woman. He asked for, and was given, protection from his mother."

Michelle leapt to her feet and ran around the table. "That bastard!" she screamed, shoving an accusing finger in Bobby's direction. "He can't do anything right! I'll kill him!"

The judge pounded his gavel and Bobby leaned back in his chair, watching Michelle with a calm look of quiet amusement. His eyes shifted toward his partner and he winked at her, turning his attention back to Michelle as the judge yelled at Granger and Granger in turn calmed Michelle.

Alex tensed in apprehension when she saw Michelle head for her partner.

Bobby showed no alarm as he watched Michelle elude her lawyer. He stood and waited to see what she would do.

Granger grabbed Michelle and pushed her into the chair, speaking to her in a harsh but quiet voice. She reluctantly took her chair again, shooting daggers at Bobby.

Bobby eased himself back into his chair, meeting Michelle's hate-filled glare. One corner of his mouth quirked in amusement.

Michelle started to stand up again, but Granger clasped her shoulder and held her to the chair.

That made a small grin appear on his face, but it was gone as quickly as it appeared and he turned his attention back to Kent.

"Have you had any other interactions with the defendant, detective?"

"I talked to her at Rikers."

"And what came of that conversation?"

"She threatened my partner's life."

"Has your partner had anything to do with this case?"

"No. She was seeking to get a reaction from me by threatening Detective Eames."

"And the child in question. Detective Logan testified that DNA evidence has proven him to be the child's father."

"That's right."

"Refresh the court's memory. How many possibilities were there for paternity, including Detective Logan?"

"Three."

"Do you know the identities of the other two possibilities?"

He shifted in his seat, wondering just where the ADA was going with this line of questioning.

"Yes, I do."

"Elaborate for us."

He frowned at her. "One was a boyfriend she had just broken up before she started seeing Detective Logan. The other was the man who raped her."

"Do you know the identities of the two men, detective?"

"The rapist was later identified as Brad Cummings. The ex...that was me."

Kent raised an eyebrow, once again surprised by his testimony. He was certainly living up to his reputation as a man who pulled surprises from nowhere like a magician pulled rabbits from a hat.

"So you have contact with the child now, detective?"

"Yes, I do. I-I have become...attached to her."

"When was the last time you saw her?"

"This morning, when I took her to...the babysitter's."

Another surprise. Kent smiled at him. She had seldom had the opportunity to have him on the stand and she was enjoying this a great deal. "Detective, you mentioned that your partner is pregnant. Does that have anything to do with the defendant's threat against her?"

He nodded. "Yes, it does. My partner's pregnancy makes her...more vulnerable." His eyes shot toward his partner, hoping she would forgive him that.

Alex shot him a reassuring smile, her hand moving to rest over her pregnant belly.

"I'm a little confused here, detective. Could you clarify for us exactly why the defendant would be interested in your partner. What possible connection could she have to you, beyond being your partner?"

Bobby was surprised the rumor mill had not spread beyond headquarters. His eyes sought his partner, seeking permission to divulge their relationship, uncertain what the fallout, if any, would be.

Alex was hesitant, but she nodded at him, giving him her permission.

He continued to hesitate. Kent didn't understand his hesitation.

The judge leaned forward. "Detective, answer the question."

Again he looked toward Alex, his eyes offering apology.

She nodded at him, mouthing the words, _Tell them._ She knew that they couldn't keep it hidden forever.

He swiped his hand over his mouth, then said, "Th-the baby she's carrying...is mine. An-and I have...er, she agreed...to, uh, to be my wife."

Michelle bristled.

That was the last thing Kent expected from him. She stared at him for a moment as his words sank in.

Michelle whipped her head back to the gallery, her eyes hot with fury and her teeth bared.

Alex sat back against the bench and looked at her impassively, one hand still resting on her stomach.

Catching the look Michelle was sending Alex, Carolyn silently stood up and, to Alex's surprise, sat down in the seat Bobby had vacated. Then she shot Michelle a glare of her own, letting her know that she would not stand for her friends, child and boyfriend being threatened.

Michelle held her glare for a few more moments, but when she received no further reaction from the women, turned her head again and stared angrily at the man who was testifying.

Bobby met Michelle's glare, again without flinching, before he looked back at Kent, the silent apology in his eyes now directed toward her.

The ADA recovered. "You are full of surprises today, detective."

"I try to keep my private life just that, Counselor."

"I apologize for interfering with that."

He shrugged, glancing once more into the gallery at his partner, then back at Kent. "It's not a secret."

"It's the first I'm hearing of it," Carolyn whispered to Alex, who grinned and gently nudged her in response.

Mike looked at Alex and winked, then turned his attention back toward the front of the courtroom.

Granger noticed that his client was tensing again, and he gently squeezed her arm, frowning when she jerked her arm away.

"Slut," Michelle hissed, gripping the table until her knuckles turned white.

Bobby again shifted uncomfortably. "My mother died this summer...and my partner...is all the family I have. That's why the defendant has targeted her...and why she's so enraged that she's impotent to carry out the threat." A sudden anger that welled in his chest made the last few words carry strongly through the courtroom.

"Impotent?" Michelle shrieked, leaping to her feet again. "I'll show you impotent, you arrogant son of a bitch! You and that whore partner of yours!"

Bobby raised an eyebrow, but swallowed his anger and controlled his temper. Her use of the term "whore" in connection with his partner caused his entire body to tense. She was anything but that. But he kept his temper.

His disinterest and her inability to provoke him further finally sent her temper boiling over, and when Granger's hands came into contact with her arms, she used all her body weight to slam him into the table. Then she kicked him and ran toward the gallery.

Bobby charged at her from the stand as Mike jumped out between her and the two women. The judge banged his gavel, calling for the bailiff and the guards to apprehend her.

Mike hit her full force form the front, slamming them both bodily into Bobby as he came up behind her. All three tumbled to the ground.

Screaming, Michelle fought against the two men with all of her strength, managing a few blows.

Alex moved to help Bobby and Mike, but Carolyn stopped her by grabbing her arm and holding her back. "Don't," Carolyn warned, but Alex hated feeling helpless. "Stay here. She could hurt the baby."

The two guards jumped into the melee and grabbed her, pulling her free of the two detectives.

She continued to fight against them, screaming profanities and glaring hatefully at the two women who had hands in destroying everything she had worked to accomplish.

As the guards pulled the shrieking woman away, Alex went to Bobby, while Carolyn rushed to help Mike to his feet.

Bobby rested his head against the floor and met his partner's worried eyes. "I'm about fed up with her," he muttered.

Alex rested her hand on his chest, reassuring herself, and breathed shakily. "I'm past that point," she growled.

Kent joined them. "Are you all right, detective?"

He waved her off and got to his feet. "I'm fine, other than being royally pissed and a little bit bruised."

The judge called the room to order. "Are you all right, Mr. Granger?"

He nodded, holding his stomach. "I'm f-fine, your Honor."

"I am done with your client's outbursts, Mr. Granger. I am ordering a competency hearing held to determine her fitness to stand trial. Until then, this court stands adjourned."

Granger nodded, defeated.

Alex let out a deep breath at the judge's ruling, and she looked at her partner.

Resting her hand on Mike's arm, Carolyn looked at the three of them, then said, "Maybe we should all head home. She's not going anywhere."

Alex nodded her agreement. "Carolyn's right."

Bobby didn't move, looking around the courtroom with a dark, stormy look in his eyes.

Carolyn saw the look, and she busied herself with the task of looking Mike over while Alex stepped in front of Bobby.

Standing in front of him silently, she watched his dark eyes scan the room, and she reached out slowly. "Bobby," she whispered, curling her fingers around his hand.

He drew in a deep breath and whispered, "What did I do?"

"She's... evil," she whispered, her mind lacking for a better term. "You didn't do anything." Her other hand traveled up to his chest, while her right hand pulled his against her stomach.

He closed his eyes and bit his lip. "That's not what I mean. I should have...refused to answer."

She shook her head. "Don't, Bobby. Please."

"Alex..."

She shook her head and gripped his hand. "Don't. She would have found out, sooner or later. You know that. It's not like we can hide it," she murmured, motioning to where their hands rested.

He shook his head. "I don't give a damn if she knows or not. But the brass...they frown on this sort of thing."

"So what if they frown? When have you ever given a damn about what anyone thinks, Bobby?"

He tilted his head and met her eyes. "When anyone has the power and the authority to split us up as partners, that's when."

"There is nowhere in the book that specifically states partners cannot be involved. And if they say a damn word, they can just look at the last six months. We have not shown one sign of unprofessionalism, and I'd bet my badge that they can't find one thing to disprove that."

He shook his head. "Face it...I'm not exactly flavor of the month upstairs."

"But you're the best damn detective they've ever had. They would be idiots to even think about getting rid of you."

"They're idiots, Alex."

She stared at him. Then she said in a quiet voice, "Okay, so what if they do split us up? I'm carrying your child, Bobby. And I'm going to be your wife. No one can stop that, right?"

"I know...but I...don't work well with anyone else."

Alex looked at Carolyn for help. "Can we tell them?"

Carolyn bit her lip. "I don't know..."

"I know, but they're going to find out anyways," Alex insisted, giving Carolyn a meaningful look.

"Find out what?" Bobby asked.

"Yeah...what are you two hiding?" Mike wanted to know.

Carolyn finally nodded, and Alex looked at Bobby. "_If_," she started, emphasizing on the word. "If we're split up, the worst they can do... is pair you up with Mike... or Carolyn."

"Mike and I might kill each other, but...wait, Carolyn?" His eyes shifted to her.

Both Alex and Carolyn nodded.

Carolyn looked at Mike. "It was supposed to be a surprise," she said, glancing at Alex. "But I'm coming back on desk duty in a couple of weeks. I've already met with Ross and spoken with him. He seemed... relieved."

Bobby snickered. "I wonder why."

Carolyn rolled her eyes at him. "He knows our situation, Mike, and as soon as my doctors and Olivet clear me, I'm back."

"I-I'm glad you're coming back," Bobby said quietly.

She turned her head and smiled at him. "I am, too, Bobby." A sly smile crossed her face. "But don't think that if we get paired up, I won't hesitate to smack you back over the line."

"Are you kidding? I count on it."

She laughed. "Good."

Alex reached up and pressed her palm against Bobby's cheek. "See?" she said softly. "You'll be fine. And we're getting ahead of ourselves. We have plenty of people to back us up. Powerful people."

Carolyn smirked in amusement. "I wasn't aware you had connections with the godfather, Alex," she joked.

Playing along, Alex said, "Sure I do, Carolyn. He owes me a few favors."

Bobby's mind was still stuck on her "powerful people" comment.

"And think about it this way, Bobby," Carolyn said. "He knows that Mike and I are involved, and he was still willing to bring me back as his partner. So if the Brass has anything to say, I think he just might help us out. And not only him. The Brass will be shaking in their boots if they had to face all the people who want to see you and Alex together, married and as partners."

"All what people?' he scoffed.

"Okay, you should really be smacked right now, Bobby."

Alex grinned. "I think a few dozen cops, former cops, and a recently retired NYPD captain may have some pull," she suggested. Sliding her hand into his, Alex said, "I think the point of all this, Bobby, is that no matter what anyone says, they can't break us up. And since there's nothing in the rules that specifically says partners can't fraternize, they can frown all they want."

He was still skeptical. "Even when the Chief of D's wants my head on a platter?"

"He's not that stupid, Bobby. You worry too much sometimes. He's more concerned with looking good, and you make him look _very_ good, baby."

He shook his head again. "Let's just go home. I have a killer headache."

Alex nodded and leaned closer to him. "I can fix that for you, as soon as we get home," she whispered, pressing her lips against his cheek briefly.

Carolyn rolled her eyes playfully. "Come on, break it up, you two," she said, closing her own hand around Mike's and smiling when he squeezed her hand in return.

Bobby brushed his lips across her ear. "Keep it up and we won't make it home."

Sighing loudly, Carolyn buried her face in Mike's arm. "Come on, hon. Let's go get your kid and go home, too."

CICICICICICICICICICICICICICICICICICICICICICICICICICI

"I'm glad they found her competent. She's sane, and evil," Carolyn muttered to Mike as they sat in the gallery.

Alex gravely nodded her agreement at Carolyn's statement. "She is."

Ignoring the discussion between the two women, Bobby continuously searched the courtroom, watching and waiting...and wishing he could have convinced Alex and Carolyn not to sit in the gallery that morning. His gut was in knots. He couldn't understand Michelle's vehemence toward Alex for being his lover. She had to have understood that there was never anything between them, but then again, in her twisted mind, she could have interpreted his actions in any way.

Sitting between Mike and Bobby again, Alex shifted and swallowed a surge of mild aggravation at her partner. But it was the only way she could convince him that she would be safe if she came. Silently, she met Carolyn's eyes, and a silent wave of communication passed between the two women.

C.J. swallowed nervously and shifted from foot to foot as he waited for his turn to testify. A knot of fear and anxiety had formed in his stomach at seeing his mother again, but when Detective Goren had come to him and asked for his help, he couldn't refuse. Because of him and Alex, he had a second chance, and a second start at a life with his fiance and little girl. Fiance. He smiled at the word. Just the thought of Candace and Lilly soothed his nerves, and his restless shifting ceased as he continued to wait.

Bobby noticed when C.J. stepped into the courtroom. The kid looked like a frightened rabbit. He was scared and alone, or he thought he was...and it was his job to correct the notion right off the bat. Excusing himself, he left his seat and approached the frightened young man. Holding out a hand, he said quietly, "Thank you for coming, C.J."

He accepted the bigger man's hand shyly. "It was... the least I could do," he mumbled.

"Are you going to be all right?"

He swallowed, then put on his bravest face. "I'll be fine. After..."

Bobby nodded. "I get that. Just remember...you're not alone. I'll be thirty feet away from you, and my partner will be there, too. Just...tell the truth. You'll be fine."

He allowed a small smile to appear. "Thank you. I... I really appreciate that."

"Don't let her intimidate you. She's going to try. But you have to be stronger. She can't hurt you. I won't let her."

He looked around warily, then leaned in closer and whispered, "Candy wanted to come. Now I'm glad she didn't. I won't let her intimidate me. I'm done with that."

Bobby smiled, glancing back toward his partner. "Good call convincing Candy to stay away. Stay strong."

He smiled again, then walked away to await his turn to testify.

Alex smiled when Bobby sat down beside her again, and she reached out and tucked her hand into his. "Is he going to be okay?" she asked softly, stroking the back of his hand with her thumb.

He nodded, closing his eyes to concentrate on the feel of her thumb over his skin.

Carolyn looked past Mike at Bobby, and Alex gave her a reassuring nod as the judge walked into the courtroom, sending silence over the gallery.

The judge called the room to order and pointed a finger at Granger. "I will warn you once, Mr. Granger. Keep your client under control. If she so much as burps, you're done."

Granger nodded. "Yes, your Honor."

Michelle just looked sullen.

The judge looked at Kent. "Have you finished with Detective Goren?"

"Yes, your honor." The last thing Kent wanted was to put the big detective back on the stand. She had caused him enough grief.

"Mr. Granger, did you want to cross?"

"No, your Honor."

"Then call your next witness, Miss Kent."

"I call C.J. Benevidez."

C.J. looked across the gallery at Bobby, then rose to his feet and walked up to the stand.

After he was sworn in and stated his name for the record, Kent began. "C.J., would you tell the jury what your relationship is to the defendant?"

"She's my mother," he stated, sitting up in the chair.

"Has she been a good mother?"

His eyes went to Michelle, and he saw nothing. Looking at Kent again, he finally said, "N-no, she hasn't."

"Tell us about the way she raised you, C.J."

He had prepared himself for this, but he still felt fear stir in his stomach. "She... couldn't have children a-after me. She started telling me that when I was about three... She would h-hit me, and blame me whenever my father disappeared. I w-was never good enough for her, n-no matter what I did."

Bobby stiffened in his seat, struck by the boy's description of a childhood so similar to his. Kent encouraged the boy to continue.

"Wh-when she brought my first brother home... she said that it was because I was a b-bad boy, and she needed a good boy. She e-even started home schooling me, b-because I went to school once with a b-broken arm. She convinced everyone that I had just fallen out of my tree house."

"How did she handle your schooling?"

"I..." He sighed. "She did some of the teaching, but when m-my father was around, he did a lot of it."

"Did you move a lot when you were a child?"

"Yes."

"Did your mother explain those moves to you?"

"No. But I remember... moving after every time Ma brought home a new baby."

"Did you have a happy childhood?"

He lowered his head. "N-not really."

"C.J., do you know Detective Goren?"

"Yes, I do."

"How did you meet him?"

He chewed on his lower lip. "The night my li- Kiska, was taken back to her parents. I didn't know him, and he told me he w-was on a date with my mother."

Kent stared at the young man, once again caught off guard. Turning, she sought out Goren in the gallery. Her look was dangerous. She turned back to C.J. "A date?"

In the gallery, Bobby leaned forward and rubbed his temples.

C.J. nodded. "I found out the n-next day that he was undercover, to distract my mother."

Kent seemed to relax. "Did you see him again after that?"

"Y-yes," he said softly, guilt washing over him.

"When?"

"Wh-when I found Detective Eames in the hospital. He c-came a few m-minutes later."

"When you found Detective Eames? Were you looking for her?"

"Y-yes."

"Why?"

He struggled with himself for a moment. "I w-was going to shoot her," he muttered. But then he quickly said, "But I couldn't, because I realized that if my Ma wanted me to kill a pregnant w-woman, there was something really wrong with her!"

"Your mother? Why would your mother send you to harm Detective Eames? She played no role in your mother's arrest."

"She s-said that it was Detective Goren's f-fault that everything had h-happened, and I had t-to do something about it. I had to hurt Detective Eames, to hurt him." He swallowed thickly and twisted his hands in his lap.

"But you couldn't follow through with it?"

He shook his head furiously. "No! I didn't want to hurt a b-baby, or her."

"What convinced you not to follow through with your mother's orders?"

He looked across the gallery again, meeting Bobby's reassuring eyes. "Detective Eames d-did... and my own d-daughter."

"Do you fear your mother's anger?"

"Y-yes. I... didn't even tell her... about my daughter."

In the gallery, Bobby's gaze shifted from C.J. on the stand to Michelle at the defendant's table. He leaned closer to Eames. "I would feel much better if you and Carolyn would step out of the courtroom for a few minutes," he whispered, watching Michelle's agitation increase. She was going to explode, soon.

Carolyn looked at Mike, then stood up, resting her hand on Alex's shoulder. "Come on, Alex," she murmured. "Let's go get something to eat."

Alex looked at her, reluctant, then at Bobby. She couldn't mistake the fear and worry in his eyes, and she sighed, rising to her feet. "Fine."

He touched her hand. "Don't be mad," he softly pleaded.

She leaned down and kissed his forehead. "Don't... don't get yourself hurt, okay?"

"Don't worry."

"I do."

He let his fingers lightly brush the swell of her abdomen and nodded. "I'll be fine," he promised.

She nodded and touched his hand, then allowed Carolyn to lead her out of the courtroom.

Bobby turned his attention back to the front of the courtroom, annoyed to find Michelle's cold gaze focused on him.

Michelle's anger was fueled further when she saw Bobby whisper to Alex, and the pregnant woman stood up and walked out of the room with Carolyn. Granger's hand closed around her thigh again, and she shoved it away, then sat back in the chair with her arms crossed over her chest like a petulant child.

Bobby was at a loss to explain Michelle's simmering fury every time he interacted with Alex, or why she had become fixated on him. That fixation had made Alex a target, and he was still deeply unsettled about that. His heart went out to C.J. as he watch the young man shrink back in his seat. He remained prepared to offer his support as well as his protection when it came to that, which he was certain it would.

When Mike moved over to sit beside him, he leaned toward him, not averting his attention from the front of the courtroom. "Something's going to go down," he muttered.

"I see. Don't worry. We'll deal with her."

Both men sat ready, their attention shifting between Michelle and her son.

C.J. crossed his arms over his chest, fearful under his mother's stare.

Closing the door behind them, Alex and Carolyn stepped out of the courtroom and sat down on a bench by the doors. "I don't like this," Alex muttered, resting her elbows on her knees.

Carolyn rested a hand on the other woman's shoulder. "I know. I don't like Mike being in there, either."

"She's already tried to kill all of us, not to mention she attacked them both in there," Alex said in exasperation.

"They're more worried about us then they are themselves, Alex. You know how they are."

"I know. But sometimes, it just makes me mad. They seem to think that it's their duty to protect us, and we're completely helpless!"

Carolyn nodded. "They do. But... in a way, I can't blame them right now," she murmured, gently touching Alex's pregnant belly. "They don't just want to protect you. They want to protect both of you."

Sighing deeply, Alex ran her hand over her stomach. "I know it's not just about me. I guess... I just want to protect him as much as he wants to protect me."

Carolyn nodded understandingly. "I understand that. I want to protect Mike, too. They're both stubborn."

Settling back against the wooden bench, Alex rubbed her belly, then looked at the other woman. "You said we're getting lunch. How about Chinese?"

Carolyn laughed, then helped Alex to her feet. "Whatever you want, Alex."

"No, whatever this baby wants," Alex corrected, nodding to her stomach. "If it's not what she wants, I get nauseous."

Laughing again, Carolyn said, "I remember that. When I was pregnant with Kiska, just about everything made me sick. Unless it was covered in salsa and garlic salt."

"This little Goren wants pickles on everything. I wonder if that means it's going to be a boy," Alex joked as she and Carolyn walked out of the court house and headed to Alex's SUV.

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Finally, Kent nodded at the young man. "Thank you, CJ. Your witness."

Granger shook his head. "No questions, your Honor."

As Granger stood up, Bobby tensed. There was now no one to keep Michelle in check, and he did not trust her.

He tensed as C.J. stood at the witness stand and a small voice in the back of his head started yelling at him. Slowly he got to his feet and stepped forward, prepared to meet C.J., to tell him how well he had done.

Michelle glanced around the courtroom, her entire body tensed and ready to spring into action. How dare that ungrateful little bastard not do what she said... C.J. stood up and stepped down from the witness stand, and as he passed her table, she acted. With a growl, she lunged from the chair, shoving at Granger when he attempted to stop her.

C.J. gasped in shock when his mother lunged at him, and he put his hands up in front of him as his only act of self-defense.

Bobby charged forward, intent on protecting the boy who had shown so much courage on the witness stand. Michelle, intending to attack C.J., ran into his much larger body instead.

Blinded by her rage, Michelle didn't see the large body that intercepted her fury. But it didn't slow her attacks. "Bastard!" she screamed over and over as her fists connected with flesh in a slurry of attacks. "No good bastard!"

Attempting to restrain the enraged woman, Bobby growled at C.J., "Go with him!"

Mike hesitated a moment but then he grabbed C.J.'s arm and ushered him out of harm's way.

Shocked and fearful, C.J. allowed Mike to pull him away. Then he turned frightened eyes on Mike and said, "Help him!"

"Stay out here," Mike told him, disappearing back into the courtroom.

Above her own yells, Michelle vaguely heard Bobby's voice yell, and she realized that she wasn't attacking her son, but the big detective. But that didn't stop her. She grinned cruelly when she heard Bobby's gasp of pain, and even though she was much smaller, her energy didn't fade. She continued her assault with a hateful smirk and an unending source of rage, fueled by the fact she hadn't reached her intended targets.

Bobby was surprised at the effort it took to get Michelle under control. Driven by a mind-numbing rage, which gave her a strength he had not anticipated, her blows became more forceful. Intent on constraining her, he made no attempt to protect himself.

"I'll kill them! I'll kill them all!" she shrieked, her fist connecting with flesh and filled with mind numbing rage. "I'll kill them all!"

Mike ran forward from the back of the courtroom to help Bobby as he struggled to get a firm hold on Michelle. The prison guards were called in from the hall by the bailiff.

She heard Mike's voice shouting behind her, and her hand slid into her orange jumpsuit, her fingers brushing against cold metal. She continued to struggle with Bobby, until she knew that Mike was behind her. Then she turned around, drew the scissors and launched them into Mike's vulnerable flesh. With a victorious sneer, she spun around again, and the scissors made contact with Bobby's unprotected body.

Mike's hands covered his belly, as blood spilled over his fingers. As his knees buckled, he wondered why it didn't hurt. As Mike went down, Bobby was distracted, uncertain about what had happened. He felt something hit his side, followed by a gush of warmth, as he swung his body toward Michelle, hitting her with his weight as he went down.

TBC...

A/N: (gasp) Evil cliffie! And I know somewhere delirious is revving the motor of her rented bull dozer!


	17. Can You Feel Me?

(peers out warily from under sink) Uh, here's the update. Yeah... that's it.

Disclaimer: Not ours!

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Alex felt a knot form in her stomach as they pulled into the parking lot of the courthouse. And when she saw the ambulances, her heart skipped a beat. "No, no, please no," she muttered, yanking her seatbelt off as Carolyn pulled the SUV to a stop.

Her stomach was also churning, and Carolyn sent a quick prayer up as she pulled the keys out of the ignition and swung the door open.

Bobby was sitting on the back step of an ambulance with its doors open, shaking his head. "No, I'm fine."

"Detective," a paramedic argued, frustrated. "If you refuse to go to the hospital, at least let us examine you. That's a lot of blood on your side."

Again, he shook his head. "I'm fine and I don't need to be examined."

He heard voices and, recognizing one as his partner's, he quickly buttoned his jacket and stood up.

As soon as she spotted her partner, her hand went to her heart. "Bobby!" She moved as quickly as she could through the crowd to get to his side.

He caught her in his arms, unable to keep from stumbling back into the door of the ambulance.

As soon as he stumbled, she knew something was wrong. Before he could stop her, she pushed his jacket back. The blood that stained his shirt made her choke on her breath. "What the hell happened, Bobby?"

"I'm all right, Alex. Things got a little out of hand, that's all."

She wasn't reassured at all. "A little out of hand? Bobby, there's blood all over your shirt!"

Carolyn finally found them, her heart pounding furiously as she asked, "Bobby, what happened? Where's Mike?"

He gripped her shoulders firmly and looked into her face. "I'm fine, I said," he told her. Shifting his gaze to Carolyn, he blinked for a moment as his mind shifted gears a little sluggishly. "Uh, Mike's on his way to NYU. He's going to be okay. They just want to check him over."

So maybe he was exaggerating a little, but he was certain Mike would be all right and he didn't want to alarm the women any more.

Alex shook her head, and she reached out and grabbed his shoulder as pains began shooting through her stomach. "Oh my God..."

He grabbed her. "Alex?"

Carolyn reached out at the same time Bobby did, and she snaked an arm around the smaller woman's waist.

"Something's... wrong," she hissed through gritted teeth.

He motioned to the paramedic who had been pestering him. The man hurried over. "What's wrong? Are you ready to be examined, Detective Goren?"

"No. It's my partner."

As gently as she could, Carolyn led Alex to the back of the ambulance and urged her to sit down. Alex bowed her head and held her arms over her stomach, breathing heavily.

Swallowing a surge of fear, Bobby backed away, giving the two paramedics room to work. His heel hit the curb and he fell back into a light pole. A soft gasp slipped out as he felt another gush in his side and he softly swore, quickly buttoning his jacket and pressing his arm firmly into his side as he watched the scene at the back of the ambulance.

Carolyn stayed with Alex for a few moments, then when she was sure she was in capable hands, she went over to Bobby. "Hey, you need to go get checked out," she stated, laying a hand on his arm.

He waved her off. "You need to go over to the hospital to check on Mike," he replied.

"I will, when I know you're okay, too."

"Trust me, I'm fine. Go."

With a scowl, she grabbed his arm and pushed him back to the ambulance, knowing he was too weak to fight back. "He needs to be checked over," she said to one of the paramedics. Then she turned and hugged him a little. "I'm going to go check on Mike. Then I'm going to kick both of your asses," she growled, fighting back her own tears.

As soon as she walked off, he glared at the paramedic who approached him and snapped irritably, "Just take care of her."

Alex watched Bobby, but another contraction had her gripping her stomach. _Please, let the baby be okay_, she prayed, shutting her eyes. The baby didn't move under her hand, and another wave of pain finally swept away her consciousness.

Bobby watched in concern as Alex went limp against the paramedic, and a wave of panic struck him. He stepped back away with a soft gasp. Now what had he done...?

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Breaking a few speed limits along the way, Carolyn finally reached the hospital and rushed inside. "I'm looking for Mike Logan," she said to a woman sitting behind a desk.

The nurse began typing on the keyboard in front of her. "He's in Exam room two. Down the hall," she said, motioning in the right direction.

Carolyn nodded and took off. Doors and numbers blurred by, until she finally reached the correct room. With a shaking hand, she pushed the door open. "Mike..."

Mike was sitting up on the stretcher with a doctor examining a wound in his stomach. He was a little pale, but he offered her a grin. "Hey, beautiful."

Letting out a sigh, she walked across the floor, wrapping one arm around his shoulders. "Idiot," she muttered, kissing the side of his head.

"Hey, what'd I do?"

"You made me worry."

"I didn't mean to. That woman is a real piece of work. Bobby got away unhurt, didn't he?"

She shook her head. "No. She got him too, but he was conscious and walking around. The dumb ass."

"Yeah, that's him."

Taking another shaky breath, she rested her head against his temple and closed her eyes.

He slipped an arm around her and returned his attention to the doctor. Slowly he shook his head. "A friggin' pair of scissors..."

"Maybe you two will finally learn, and stay away from her," she grumbled.

Mike laughed. "He's always gonna put himself in the way, honey, and I'll always back him up. The alternative is letting her hurt you or Alex, or that kid of hers, and there's no way we're gonna let that happen. No way in hell."

"Uh, yeah. He's going to be feeling guilty for a while after today."

Mike raised an eyebrow. "Why? What did he do?"

She sighed and tightened her grip on him. "It's Alex... Seeing him like that got her so worked up, she started having contractions."

"Aw...no...where is he?"

"With her. Where else?"

"Good. She'll set him straight."

"I hope you're right," she said softly, nuzzling his neck and trying to steady her heart.

"What do you mean?"

"Just that. If something happens to either of them... It's not going to be good."

Mike snorted. "That's no exaggeration."

"What about you?" she asked, looking at his stomach.

"Me? It's a scratch...ow! Watch it there, doc."

Carolyn tightened her grip on him and kissed his head. "Hold still and behave, babe."

The doctor grinned at him. "The bleeding has stopped and, although the wound is deep, it doesn't look like it hit any organs. I'm going to order a CT scan just to be sure. If that's clear, we'll stitch you up and send you home. Take it easy for a few days and you'll be fine."

She grinned and ran her hand through his hair. "Looks like Kiska's going to have to settle with having me for a playmate, hon."

"Why? Don't take my baby away from me."

Laughing, she kissed him. "I'm not. But you know how she just loves to pounce on your stomach. I don't think you could take that right now."

"Maybe not, but we can do other things."

"I'm not going to take her anywhere, Mike. I'm just trying to watch out for you. The last thing I want is for you to reopen that wound and end up right back in here."

He gave her a wink. "I'm a big boy, Carolyn."

"I know. But you're mine, and I watch out for you." She leaned over and rested her forehead against his. "Think of it this way. Your girl would be miserable if you had to be admitted, and she couldn't see you."

He snorted. "I'd miss her, too."

"I know you would." She ruffled his hair affectionately.

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Agitated, Bobby paced the sidewalk while the paramedics worked on Alex. He ignored the worsening pain in his side. The more time that passed as they got her ready for transport, the more worked up he got. Finally, one of the paramedics approached him. "We're ready to go. Are you going to ride with us?"

"No. I'll follow along behind. Is she all right?"

"I don't know. She needs a doctor to examine her, but we started an IV and we're giving her fluids."

He nodded and watched the man walk back to the rig. His gut was churning, and his head and heart were pounding. Damn...

The ambulance pulled away and he ran a hand through his damp hair. "Forgive me..."

On the way back to the hospital, Alex came around, and the paramedic riding with her quietly soothed her. "Settle down, Detective Eames."

She heard the voice murmuring instructions, and she called her partner's name. "Bobby... Bobby?"

"Shh...you had a little bit of a problem and we're going to have you checked over by a doctor to make sure you and the baby are all right."

"The b-baby?" She reached down and ran her hand over the swell of her abdomen. "My baby..." She gasped and raised her hand to her head.

"Relax. We have good fetal tones. The baby seems fine."

She nodded, and the darkness swallowed her again.

Upon arrival at the hospital, the wheeled her in. Once they were ready to leave, the senior of the two paramedics said, "Let's head back to the courthouse, Chuck."

"Why?"

"I just want to check on someone."

After replacing the linen on the stretcher, they slid it into the back of their rig and left the hospital.

Bobby could not force himself to settle down, so he began to walk, intending to head for the hospital, but his mind, already a little foggy, wandered and so did he.

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After he was finished getting the CT, and the doctors said it was okay, Carolyn was with Mike again. "How do you feel, tough guy?" she asked, running one gentle hand lightly over his chest.

"I'm okay. It could have been a lot worse. She hit my sternum and that spared me a hospital stay."

She shivered a little, then wrapped her arm around him again. "But it wasn't, and I'm taking you home in a little while."

"Sounds like a plan. We need to rescue Angie and the girls."

"Somehow, I don't think so," she laughed. "In fact, I'm pretty sure they're planning to swipe her."

"I don't think so."

"Face it, Mike. They adore her."

"Yeah, well, so do I. Let's get the hell out of here."

She squeezed him again and waited for him to stand up. "Okay, but before we go, I want to go check on Alex and Bobby."

"Okay. We can do that." He slid off the stretcher and pulled on his shirt. "Let's go."

She rested a hand on his back and followed him out of the room.

It didn't take them long to find Alex, and Mike left Carolyn with her to go in search of Bobby.

Carolyn watched Mike leave, then sat down beside Alex's bed. Her growing belly was evident under the blankets, and she let out a soft breath of relief. Settling back in the chair, she crossed her legs and waited patiently for Alex to awake.

Mike returned ten minutes later, a worried frown on his face.

Carolyn turned around. "What's wrong?"

He looked toward Alex, making certain she wasn't awake. In a quiet voice, he said, "He's not here."

She stood up and crossed her arms over her chest. "What? She's here. He should be here too." She rubbed her fingertips against her temple. "Do you know where he might be?"

"I don't have the foggiest idea."

She pressed her hand to her forehead, then grabbed her jacket and kissed his cheek. "You stay here with Alex. I'll go try to find him."

"You sure?"

"I'm sure. I'm the only one who should be walking around right now." She drew him into a warm hug. "When I bring him back, we'll get the baby and go home."

"Good luck with that."

She smiled. "Yeah, I'm sure I'll need it." She kissed him again, then walked out of the room.

Bobby continued to walk aimlessly, his mind haunted by his partner's collapse, which he took the entire blame for. He ignored the throbbing in his body and the slowly increasing fogginess in his brain and unsteadiness in his step. People he passed eyed him warily, thinking he was drunk, but he paid no attention to any of his surroundings.

Carolyn drove back to the court house, but Bobby was nowhere in sight. With a groan, she guided the SUV out of the parking lot and did the only thing she knew to do: search.

But luckily, she didn't have to search for long. Five minutes later, she saw a large man weaving on the sidewalk, and she sighed and honked the horn, then pulled up along the sidewalk. Rolling down the window, she said, "Bobby, get in."

He stopped, blinking for a moment, then he turned his head to look at her. "Carolyn..."

She nodded and repeated, "Come on, Bobby. Get in. I'm not going to explain to Alex why Mike's there when she wakes up instead of you."

"M-Mike?"

"Yes, Mike's there with her. Come on."

"There? Where is there?"

"Okay, big guy." She pulled the car over and climbed out, then walked over to the big detective. Grabbing his arm with one hand, she used the other to open the passenger door. "In you go."

He shook his head. "N-no...I have to...uh...I can't..."

"Yes, you can. I'm not going to have Alex working herself up again because you're not there with her."

He looked at her, confused.

She sighed in exasperation and gently pushed him into the vehicle. "Sit down, Bobby. We're going to the hospital."

"What? Why?"

"Because you're hurt, and I'm not going to be able to pick you up when you pass out." She made sure he was sitting down, then she pulled his seatbelt over him and carefully closed the door.

He watched her get into the car and pull away from the curb. While she was focused on traffic, he slipped his hand inside his jacket and pressed it hard into his side, over the sticky area surrounding the injury Michelle had inflicted.

When they reached the hospital, she turned off the car and climbed out, walking over to Bobby's side of the car. "Come on, Bobby," she said, opening the door and undoing his seatbelt.

He turned an unfocused gaze on her, pressed his hand more firmly into his side and tried not to groan.

She saw him grab his side, and she looked around. "Stay right here, Bobby. I'm going to get some help."

He turned in the seat and set his feet on the ground. Drawing his hand from his side, he ran it over his hair. When he brought his hand down, he froze, staring at it, confused about where the blood had come from.

She looked at him again, then rushed into the emergency room. "I need some help," she called to anyone who was listening.

Mike heard her voice and poked his head out. Seeing her frightened face, he hurried toward her. "You find him?"

"Yeah, and I need someone to help me bring him in."

"Why?"

"He's out of it. I think it's blood loss. He's having a hard time following what I'm saying, and he's unsteady." She headed back out of the hospital, with Mike behind her. "I didn't want to risk trying to get him in myself and having him passing out."

Mike approached the vehicle. "Hey, pal."

Bobby looked up at him, still confused, and he held out his hand. "Uh...who's bleeding?"

"Oh, buddy...c'mon. Let's go inside and get you cleaned up."

Mike helped him to his feet, but he took several steps and his knees buckled. Mike caught him on one side, Carolyn on the other. "Easy. Come on, Bobby. You can make it. Just walk another few yards."

"Wh-where's Alex? I...I, uh, m-my baby..."

"She's fine, Bobby. The baby's fine, too," Carolyn reassured him.

"Um...my side...is on fire."

She looked down and groaned softly. Keeping one arm around him, she pressed her other hand against the wound in his side.

He stumbled another step, then complained, "The ground...won't stay still."

"It's okay, hon. We're almost there."

"Oh...shit...Mike..."

He was done. His knees buckled and everything went black.

Carolyn managed to keep his head from connecting with the hard ground, and she looked up at Mike. "Go get some help, babe," she muttered.

Mike ran back into the emergency room proper, returned a moment later with a nurse and two orderlies.

Once they had taken Bobby from her and taken him into the hospital, Carolyn rose shakily, then looked at Mike. "Are you okay?" she asked, pulling his shirt up. "Did you pull your stitches?"

"I'm fine. He looks like shit though. Where'd you find him?"

"Wandering around near the courthouse."

"Wandering?"

"He was disoriented, Mike. He couldn't understand why I was trying to get him into the SUV and take him to the hospital."

"Great."

"Yeah." She looked to the hospital, then ran her hand lightly over his back. "Let's go back in. Alex shouldn't wake up by herself."

"She's gonna have a cow."

"We need to keep her calm. Any stress right now won't be good for the baby."

Mike pointed a finger in the general direction they'd taken Bobby. "So just how do we explain that?"

"We hope that she doesn't wake up for a while. Maybe we can even have him moved into her room." She began walking toward the hospital.

"Are you unfamiliar with my run of luck?" he muttered, following her. "She's gonna wake up in the next five minutes, Carolyn."

She was silent until they reached Alex's room. "Just... be calm. And if she asks..." She sighed. "She knows he's hurt. We'll tell her the truth. He's getting checked over and may need surgery."

"Can we transplant the stupid out of his head?"

She smiled sadly. "I wish."

"He always worries about himself last. Drives me up a friggin' wall."

"I know." She wrapped her arms around him and rested her head on his chest. "He's an idiot. You both are."

"What does that say about you for loving us?"

"I have no idea."

"Hmph...I thought as much." He heard a noise from the bed and said, "Uh, she may be waking up, honey."

She gave him a gentle push toward the bed. "She'll want to see at least one of you."

Her head felt like it was wrapped in cotton, and she struggled for a minute before finally opening her eyes. Instinctively, her hand went to her stomach, and she gave a small sigh of relief when she felt the baby moving inside of her.

Mike smiled. "Somebody kicking?"

She turned her head at the sound of Mike's voice, and she managed a smile. "Like a storm," she whispered.

He smiled and took her hand. "I'm glad to hear it."

She squeezed his hand, and her eyes slid shut. But a few moments later, she groaned. "B-Bobby?" When she didn't hear her partner's soft, shy voice, she swallowed a surge of panic and reopened her eyes.

Mike shifted uncomfortably. "Calm down, sweetheart."

Carolyn appeared beside Mike and said softly, "The doctors are looking him over, Alex. Okay?"

Alex shuddered and sighed. "Okay. Good."

Mike looked away, continuing to feel uncomfortable. "I...I'll go check on him."

Carolyn glared at him. "No, you stay right here. Sit down and relax. I'll go check on him," she stated firmly, taking a step toward the door.

He sighed softly. "What the hell do you think I'm gonna do?"

She looked at the bed. "I'm sure Alex is bored, right, Alex? You can entertain her."

He frowned at her as she left the cubicle. "I'm supposed to entertain you," he grumbled.

Alex smiled and carefully pushed herself up in the bed. "Come here, Mike," she said softly, motioning for him to come to the bed.

He stepped up to the bed cautiously.

She rolled her eyes and reached out to grab his hand. Holding it over her stomach, she finally relaxed and said, "I was so worried... I thought I'd lost my baby."

He smiled at the kicks beneath his hand. "Active little bugger."

"It's cute until I'm trying to sleep or..." She blushed and trailed off, then cleared her throat.

He grinned. "Or?"

She reached out and smacked his arm. "Shut up."

He laughed. "Does it bother, uh, both of you?"

"Bobby laughed."

His smile faded a little and he averted his eyes. God, he sucked at keeping things from her.

She eyed him curiously, then settled back against the pillows, shifting uncomfortably. "Did you, uh, see him?" she asked softly.

He looked at his hands. "Uh, yes."

Fear filled her again. "He's okay, right? He was talking to me at the court house..."

"Yeah, yeah...he's okay," he lied.

She sighed and closed her eyes. "He's an idiot. Can't believe both of you got hurt by her," she muttered.

"You can't believe it?" he grumbled.

"That you two were stupid enough to get that close to her again..." She turned her head and reopened her eyes. "What happened? He promised... he said nothing was going to happen..."

"Crazy bitch had a fucking set of shears down her damn pants," he told her, more annoyed at himself than anyone else.

"Wh-why would... you two get that close?"

"She was gonna kill C.J.," he explained.

"Oh... He's okay?"

"Yeah. He's fine. We did our job."

"Good." She looked around the room again, then sighed.

Silently, he prayed she wouldn't ask any more questions. The last thing he wanted to do was upset her.

Laying on her back was uncomfortable, so she turned onto her side and pulled her blanket tighter around herself. Yawning, she said, "Whatever they're giving me... it's kicking my ass, Mike..."

"I don't know that they gave you anything, honey, because of the baby there."

She yawned again, then looked at him blearily. "Well, then I guess I'm just tired..."

"I'll bet you are. Go on back to sleep." _Please_, he pleaded silently.

She tucked her arm under her head and continued watching him through heavy eyelids. Then she looked down at her belly and muttered, "Shh. Mommy wants to sleep."

He patted her stomach. "Yeah, kiddo...shh."

She smiled at Mike, and her eyes slid shut, dragging her into a dreamless sleep.

He watched her for a moment before he breathed a sigh of relief. "Oh, thank God," he muttered, lightly patting her stomach. "Thanks for distracting her, kiddo. If she knew how your daddy looked...she'd really get bent out of shape."

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Carolyn kept her arms crossed over her chest as she stood in the corner of Bobby's cubicle and watched the doctors work. It had taken some talking, but they had eventually relented and let her stay in the cubicle, near him. Every time his head moved or his hand twitched, her breath caught in her chest.

Mike didn't know what to do, so he went in search of Carolyn. It didn't take long to find her, and he slipped into the cubicle beside her. "He doesn't look any better," he murmured into her ear.

She sighed, but didn't avert her eyes. "No, he doesn't. How's Alex?"

"Sleeping. Thankfully, she didn't press me for answers."

"She will when she's awake enough to." She wiped at her eyes. "I just hope he'll be there to explain things himself."

Mike frowned. "He's not...in any danger, is he?"

She wiped at her eyes again. "The... the wound was bad enough to begin with. But he made it worse by not letting the paramedics check him out, then wandering around on the sidewalks."

"He didn't want the attention."

"I know..." Her lip trembled. "He's... he's so stupid sometimes..."

"I don't think it's stupidity, Carolyn. When you grow up being told you don't matter, that nothing you do is of any consequence and everyone else should come first...well, it's a lesson you learn. And it's not a mindset you can break. By the time everyone else was settled, he probably lost enough blood that he forgot there was even an issue with him."

She shook her head. "I can't... I just..." Her head dropped, and she buried a hand in her thick curls.

"Yeah, I know. You don't get it. But I do."

She shook her head, then sniffed and wiped her eyes dry. "He's going to be fine," she muttered, more to reassure herself. "And Alex and I are going to have fun kicking both of your asses for making us worry so much."

"You're going to make us self-conscious. Then how are we going to do our job?"

"Exactly. You won't be able to worry us anymore."

He gave her a look. "So you want us to turn in our badges?"

She snorted. "It'd be nice if you wouldn't give us so many scares in a year."

"I guess we care more about protecting the innocent than the screwups."

"I guess so." She rested one hand on her hip, and the other on his shoulder. "I didn't want you to find out like that."

"What? That Bobby and I are screwups? Newsflash, sweetheart--we've both known that for years."

"No... about my coming back. Don't think I wasn't going to talk to you about it. I was just... waiting for the right time."

He snorted. "It's fine. I'm not much into finding 'the perfect moment'. In my world, there's no such beast."

She grinned and reached out, laying her hand on his back. "I did have one planned, though." She shrugged. "But now you know... You're happy about that, right?"

"Hell, yeah."

She couldn't stop the small smile. "Good. Ross was, too."

"I'm sure he was. He'll be thrilled that I have a partner who can keep me in line."

"When have I ever been able to, Mike?"

"Every friggin' day, honey."

She turned and smiled at him, but a muffled groan caught her attention. She whipped her head back in Bobby's direction again, waiting anxiously.

Fighting through the fog, Bobby struggled awake. When his hand came into contact with a body, his blurry mind perceived it as a threat and he began to struggle.

Carolyn saw him begin to struggle, and she immediately walked over to him, resting a gentle hand on his forehead. "Shh, Bobby," she murmured reassuringly, her thumb smoothing over his skin. "You're okay. It's just the doctors."

The familiar voice and touch soothed him and he groaned. "Alex..." he managed, tossing again.

She shot a look at Mike, then continued moving her hand over his forehead. "Alex is fine, Bobby. Her and the baby both. She's sleeping right now."

The soft, reassuring tone reached him before the words did and his body relaxed again. He stopped fighting.

She continued to stroke his forehead, and was careful to stay out of the way of the doctors and nurses. "She's fine," she repeated gently. "The doctors have to make sure you're okay before you can go see her."

His eyelids twitched and slowly he opened them. "C-Carolyn..."

"Hey, big guy."

"I, um, I feel...bad. What happened?"

"You didn't let the medics check you out, then you were dumb enough to go wandering around by yourself."

"What? N-No, I didn't...did I?"

"Yes. Mike couldn't find you in the hospital after they brought Alex in, so I went looking for you." A small smile quirked her lips. "You kept fighting me. You couldn't seem to understand that I was trying to take you to the hospital."

He studied her. "Sorry...I, uh, I still don't feel well."

"It's fine," she assured him. "Just concentrate on getting better. Alex was worried when she woke up and you weren't there."

"Did you...tell her?"

"We told her that the doctors were looking you over, and we didn't know if you'd need surgery. She was relieved that you were letting them look at you."

"Did I have a choice?"

She looked amused. "Uh, no."

He leaned his head back and closed his eyes as the doctor continued to work on his side.

CICICICICICICICICICICICICICICICICICICICICICICICICICI

Alex shivered as she forced her eyes open again, and she groaned softly. "You can't let me have any sleep, can you?" she asked her stomach, rubbing it slowly.

Bobby leaned closer from where he was sitting beside her bed, covering her hand with his own and watching her face.

She heard rustling, and she turned her head, her lips turning up in a smile. "There you are."

"Here I am," he replied, leaning close to give her a soft kiss. "I, uh, I'm sorry."

"Don't be. You're okay, aren't you?" she asked, resting her hand against the back of his neck.

He lightly touched the tender area on his side and winced. "I'll be fine," he assured her.

She exhaled slowly and picked up his hand, resting it over the area where their baby rested. "We're fine, too," she murmured, running her fingers along his hand.

"Wh-what happened?"

"Contractions. The doctors say I was overstressed," she muttered.

He looked away. "And that was my fault."

"No. Don't you dare blame yourself, Bobby. I shouldn't have gone to the courthouse to begin with."

He'd had that argument with her that morning and he wasn't about to rehash it. "If it wasn't my fault, then what overstressed you?"

"A build up of different things. Mostly Michelle." She sighed and shifted onto her side. "I want to go home and sleep in my own bed."

"What does the doctor say?"

"They say the baby's fine, but they want to keep me here overnight." Her eyes narrowed. "I just want to go home and relax. Besides, all I do here is sleep. I can do that at home, with you for a doctor."

He snorted. "I'm not a doctor. If they think you should stay..."

"You're probably smarter than half of the people here. I know you are. And you take good care of me... of us."

"I try," he murmured, looking away.

She grabbed his hand and squeezed it. "You do."

He continued looking at his hands, now knotted in his lap.

"Hey..." She pushed herself into an upright position and dangled her legs over the side of the bed, so they touched his. Then she reached over and grabbed his hands, threading her fingers through his.

Slowly, he raised his head and looked at her.

She reached her hand out and stroked his cheek. "Don't, okay? We're both fine. All three of us. She wasn't in distress, and they didn't have to deliver her. Everything's going to be fine. I'll just have to take it easy, and be more careful." She shuddered and wrinkled her nose. "I'll probably have to go on maternity leave, too."

"M-More careful," he muttered. "M-Maybe maternity leave is a smart idea..."

"Oh, goody," she said sarcastically, kissing his forehead.

"Alex..."

"Don't worry, I'll behave. I guess..."

"Please..."

She gently tugged him to his feet, then wrapped him in a warm hug. "I will, Bobby," she said seriously, running her hand along his back.

Comforted by the gentle hand stroking his back, he buried his face in the crook of her neck, gently placing a kiss on soft flesh.

She smiled and held him tighter, the other hand burying itself in his hair. "I love you," she breathed into his ear.

He groaned softly at the whispered breath across his ear and held her closer, brushing lips across her cheek.

Sighing softly, she gently pulled him to sit on the bed beside her. Then she rested her head on his shoulder and closed her eyes.

As his hand caressed her hip, the door opened, and Mike and Carolyn stepped into the room. With a sly smile, Bobby turned into Alex and kissed her deeply.

Mike stopped with a groan. "Oh, come on...don't you two ever give it a break?"

Bobby laughed into Alex's mouth and pulled away, caressing her cheek as he did.

Sighing impatiently, Alex buried her face in Bobby's shoulder and muttered, "See? I want to go home, now."

Carolyn looked at them in amusement.

Bobby grinned at Mike, who said, "I thought I was bad."

"You are."

Carolyn grabbed Mike's sides, then wrapped her arms around him, careful of his injury. "I start it most of the time," she smirked, lightly kissing his cheek.

He grinned and gave her a quick kiss. "How about you, Alex? Are you an instigator?"

Alex looked at Bobby, then shrugged. "Sometimes."

With a smile, Bobby said, "Don't let her fool you."

She poked his shoulder. "Shut up, Goren."

He gave her a wink and smiled slyly at Mike.

Mike laughed. "Well, seems like you're both feeling better."

Carolyn rubbed his side and kissed his neck. "I told you they would, once the doctors got smart and let them see each other."

"Yeah...that's the damnedest thing, too."

She rolled her eyes.

Alex crossed her arms over her chest and leaned against Bobby. "I want to go home," she said, her energy fading a little.

"That's up to the doctor, baby."

"Then get him in here."

He shrugged and started toward the door. Mike grabbed his arm when his steps faltered. "Just sit down," Mike muttered, guiding him back to the chair. "Before you get a room for the night, too. I'll be right back."

Alex watched her partner intently, and Carolyn walked over to the chair and touched his shoulder.

"Are you okay, Bobby?" Carolyn asked gently.

Alex frowned deeply and leaned closer to her partner, her leg brushing against his. "Baby?"

He waved them both off, embarrassed.

Crossing her arms over her chest in annoyance, Carolyn glared at him. "Fine, tough guy. But if you start talking weird again, you're getting admitted."

He propped his elbow on the bed and rested his head on his hand, not intending to talk at all.

With a sigh, Alex laid down on the bed and stretched out. Then she gently pulled his head close to hers, running her hand over his hair. "Love you."

Relaxing against her, he murmured, "Love you, too." Then he closed his eyes.

She turned onto her side and kissed his head, then snuggled closer to him and closed her eyes.

Carolyn watched the whole scene in mild amusement, and when Mike reappeared in the room, she held a finger up to her mouth. "Shh..."

Mike looked toward the bed. "What the heck...I was gone for a minute and a half..."

"They're tired. Leave them alone," she whispered, running a hand over his arm. "Where's the doctor?"

"He's on his way."

"Good." She glanced toward the bed. "But somehow, I don't think it'll matter. They don't look like they're going anywhere."

The doctor came into the room and stopped beside Mike. Sliding the stethoscope from around his neck, he asked, "Who's driving?"

"I am," Carolyn said, looking at the group.

He nodded and stepped up to the bed to examine Alex.

She was on the edge of sleep when hands began touching her stomach, and she grumbled and forced her eyes open. "What the...?"

"Easy, Alex," the doctor said softly. "I need to check you over one more time. I'm going to listen to the baby's heart right now."

She relaxed and nodded, but didn't move her head away from her sleeping partner's. "She's been kicking me the whole time I've been here," she murmured.

"That's good. This is a tough little guy."

She quirked her eyebrow. "Why is it that everyone seems to think it's a boy?" she asked, shooting Mike a glance.

The doctor laughed. "I didn't mean it that way. I was speaking generically."

"Oh. Okay." She ran her hand along her stomach and smiled.

"Well, you seem to be all right. I would prefer to observe you overnight..."

She sighed heavily, then looked at her sleeping partner. "I don't want to, but I promised him I'd behave."

"You live alone?"

"No." She nodded to Bobby. "This is my partner, and my fiance. He's also the father."

The doctor nodded. "You feel up to keeping an eye on him?"

"I always am."

"And how do you feel?"

"Tired. But otherwise fine."

"If you feel anything out of the ordinary, call your doctor immediately."

She smiled. "I will." Then she rubbed her belly.

"All right. I will discharge you. Get plenty of rest, nothing strenuous, no work and follow up with your doctor in three days."

"Thanks. And I will." She gently nudged her sleeping partner.

"The nurse will be in with your discharge papers in a few minutes."

"Okay. Thank you." Then she kissed her partner's head and nudged him again.

He stirred, slowly sitting up with a soft groan.

"Wake up, baby. We're going home."

He looked around, confused. "Uh...what...happened?"

"You went to sleep, and my doctor discharged me, as long as I come back if there's any problems."

He rubbed his forehead. "I...okay...let's go."

TBC...

A/N: Okay, the boys are fine, the girls are fine, and the baby's fine. Everyone happy? Great... The next chapter picks up about two months from the end of this chapter. We're not going to tell ya'll what happens, but we will say that it's exciting. So review please!

And since no one got the challenge from chapter fifteen, I'll go ahead and tell ya'll. The nod was to the Walker, Texas Ranger episode Wedding Bells, in which Walker and ADA Alex Cahill are finally married. Tracy Lawrence guest stars as himself and sings the wedding songs, including the first song they dance to as husband and wife, Just You And Me. The entire episode was absolutely beautiful, and I instantly fell in love with the two songs Just You And Me and Long Wet Kiss. So there ya'll have it.


	18. And Baby Makes Three

I know I'm updating a day early, but I couldn't make ya'll wait any longer for one of my favorite scenes Infinity Star and I have written so far. So enjoy, and please remember to review!

Disclaimer: Only Kiska and baby Goren are ours. And no, Wolf, you can't have them!

BAMCBAMCBAMCBAMC

"Mike, she's stubborn," Carolyn laughed from her seat on the couch. "She takes after you. She's not going to walk on her own until she's good and ready to."

"Listen to her, Mike," Alex advised, shifting in her seat and trying to find a more comfortable position.

"Explain to me again why you're rushing this. Once she starts walking, she's going to be hell on wheels."

"You're the one rushing it, Logan," Carolyn pointed out.

"What? Do you live in a different world from me?"

"Hey, I'm up here. I'm not doing anything. It's all you, babe." She looked at the little girl giggling in his lap. "In fact, I'm going to go in the bedroom for a minute," she said, standing up and walking out of the living room.

He watched her walk down the hall and stuck out his tongue in her wake. In his lap, Kiska happily mimicked him. "Yeah, you tell her. When you're ready to walk, then the chasing begins."

Alex glared at both Mike and Bobby, then stretched out on the couch. "You're so mature, Mike," she muttered.

Bobby looked at her. "What did he do?"

"Hey, you can go jump in a lake, Goren." She rested her arm over her eyes. Nine months pregnant and counting, Alex couldn't wait until she finally went into labor. Anything but this. She groaned and carefully shifted onto her side.

He cringed a little and Mike said, "Ouch."

Bobby gave him a pained smile. "This is her good mood," he complained.

"I'm pregnant, not deaf," she grumbled.

Carolyn reappeared with a couple of pillows, then handed them to Alex. Then she sat down beside Mike and took their daughter from him, saying, "Come here, birthday girl."

Kiska laughed and stuck her tongue out at Carolyn, and she looked at her daughter for a moment. Then she reached over and smacked Mike's shoulder. "Mike!"

"Ow! What?"

"She just stuck her tongue out at me. And I know where she got it from!"

He looked at Bobby and grinned. "How do you know he didn't teach her that?"

She looked at him with one eyebrow raised.

"Well?" he demanded.

"I know you."

Bobby got to his feet, leaned over and lifted Kiska from her mother's lap. Holding her in front of him he flew her around the room like an airplane. She giggled wildly, and when he drew her back to his chest, she hugged him and squealed, "More!"

Carolyn grinned and leaned against Mike as she watched Bobby and Kiska. A year old. Her baby girl was a year old. Almost two years ago, the worst night of her life had happened, and now... now here they were. And she couldn't imagine being anywhere else.

She looked over at Alex and gently rubbed her arm. "How are you feeling, Alex?" she asked gently.

Alex groaned. "Like I want to shoot Bobby."

Carolyn laughed. "I remember that feeling. Not too much longer, though."

Bobby looked over at her with a frown. "Um, can I clarify something here?"

"If it's what I think it is, I wouldn't," Carolyn muttered as she rose to her feet and went into the kitchen to get two bottles of water.

"Fine," Mike offered. Bobby had bailed him out plenty. "I will. If I remember right, he wasn't the one who wanted a baby in the first place."

Bobby glared at him, horrified. "That wasn't the point I was going to make, fathead!"

Alex glared at him and picked up a pillow, hitting Mike squarely in the head with it.

He glared at her. "Deny it!"

"I'd rather kill you. Carolyn, where's your gun?" she yelled, and Carolyn laughed in the kitchen.

Walking back into the living room with a small plate of cookies and two bottles of water, Carolyn nudged Mike as she passed him. "Idiot," she muttered, sitting down on the floor in front of the couch and handing Alex a water and the cookies.

After eating one of the cookies and drinking a little water, Alex started feeling more human. "I swear, if this kid doesn't come out soon, I'm gonna light a fire and smoke it out!" she grumbled, biting into another cookie.

"Why am I an idiot?" he protested. "If I remember right, someone had a friggin' meltdown because he wasn't willing to give her what she wanted. Now she got what she wanted and he's in trouble. That doesn't seem quite fair to me."

Bobby closed his eyes. "Mike, it's fine," he muttered.

Carolyn glared at Mike and said, "Mike, shut up, or so help me, I'll get the duct tape."

He held out his hands. "Explain it!"

Bobby took the baby to the other side of the room, waiting for Alex to bare her teeth at his friend. He was going to just keep his mouth shut and protect the baby.

Alex picked up one of the cookies and studied it, wondering how big of a bruise it would leave if she flung it at Mike's fat head.

Bobby recognized the look on her face, and he looked at Mike. "Hormones, Mike," he muttered.

Carolyn moved over to the other end of the couch, well out of harm's way.

"Well, Mike," she started calmly. "It's simple. I'm nine months pregnant, I feel like a cow, and I can't see my damn feet!"

Bobby watched her go off on him and he smiled.

"I'm close to my due date, and this baby doesn't look like she's coming anytime soon!" Her voice cracked. "And now, your head is looking like it has a bull's eye right in the middle of your damn forehead!"

"And again I ask...how is that _his_ fault?"

Bobby rolled his eyes. "Daddy has no idea how to quit while he's behind, Cubby."

She stared at him for a moment, then flung the cookie right at Mike's forehead. "Ass!"

Carolyn smirked and carefully took the plate of cookies away from Alex, then stood up and joined Bobby. "Can't say that he didn't deserve it," she whispered, leaning over to kiss her daughter's forehead.

Bobby sighed and gently handed the baby to Carolyn, kissing the little girl's forehead. She had him wrapped around her little finger, and he was the first to admit it. But he needed to calm down his wife before she hurt herself.

Crossing the room, he smacked Mike's shoulder as he passed him. "Stop talking," he hissed. Lowering himself to the couch beside her, he turned toward her. "In spite of these moments of temporary insanity, I don't regret this," he said softly, laying a hand over her large belly, smiling as his baby kicked at him. "If you do, I understand that. You have done all the work until now."

Mike leaned closer. "Did you forget your midnight excursions for chocolate chip cookies and guacamole?"

Her lip quivered. "I'm just tired and miserable," she muttered. "I want this kid out now."

Bobby glared at him, then turned back to Alex. "I...am sorry, if that's what you're looking for, but I'm sorry that you're uncomfortable and miserable, not because you are pregnant. But if it matters at all, I think you're beautiful, and I promise, I'll make it up to you once he's born. You'll never have to do all the work again."

Tears began trickling down her cheeks, and she reached up and wrapped her arms around him. "Why are you so good to me?" she whispered, hugging him fiercely.

"Because I love you," he murmured, hugging her back.

She rested her head on his shoulder and sighed. "I love you, too."

Carolyn walked over to Mike and set their daughter on the floor, then glared at him. "Stupid," she muttered. "You don't say something like that to a woman who's going to be giving birth in a week."

With all of the adults busy, Kiska looked around the room and spotted one of her favorite toys. Giggling, she pushed herself shakily to her feet, then took one uncertain step, followed by another.

Not paying attention to the baby, he turned to follow Carolyn. "What? She's being unreasonable, pregnant or not."

Turning back, he leaned down to pick the baby up, but she was gone. "Hey..." Looking up, he saw her toddle the last few steps to her toy. "Holy shit, look at that!"

Carolyn whipped her head around. "Look at her go!" she said, excited.

Alex watched the three, and her eyes watered again. "What are we going to do when that's us?" she asked with a watery laugh.

Bobby watched the baby with a soft smile, then shifted his eyes to the woman beside him. In reply, he leaned closer and gave her a soft kiss.

Kiska turned her head and looked at the adults who were intently watching her, then giggled and toddled a little unsteadily toward the hall.

Mike laughed. "And she's off. Now the fun begins."

Carolyn laughed along with him. "She's just like her daddy. Impatient, and ready to get into everything."

"She's trouble looking for a place to happen, and it's gonna happen all over the bedroom..." He jumped to his feet. "Time to lock up my gun..."

"You haven't done that yet?" Bobby asked as Mike trotted after his daughter. "What are you waiting for?"

"Shut up, Goren," Mike retorted.

Alex raised her arm and laid her hand over her belly, smiling, and her heart warmed. Despite these last miserable few weeks, it was worth it. She was going to have a baby of her own in a week, with the man she loved.

Carolyn watched the men in amusement. "Just like her daddy," she repeated, crossing her legs.

Alex peered over at her and laughed softly. "I hope this one's like her daddy."

"I bet she will be," Carolyn said, waiting for the guys to return with the baby.

Kiska managed to make it into the bedroom before she heard voices, and she looked under the bed, spotting her blanket. Dropping to her knees, she crawled under the bed to reach the blanket.

Mike and Bobby came into the room and, finding it empty, Mike looked around, bewildered. "Where did she go?"

"First thing's first, idiot. Get your damn gun and put it out of reach."

Mike walked to the bed stand and took the gun from the drawer, crossing to the closet to place it on the top shelf. "Happy now?"

"Don't be an idiot. You never take chances with a baby around."

"When did you get a lock box for yours?"

"Last month."

Mike shook his head and looked around the room. "So where'd she go?"

Bobby crossed his arms over his chest and watched as Mike scanned the perimeter of the room. He glanced down and saw a little head poke out from under the bed. She crawled into his legs and, grabbing on to his pants, pulled herself back to her feet, giggled, and toddled out of the room.

"Hey, beautiful," Carolyn cooed as Kiska reappeared in the living room, dragging her blanket in her chubby little fist. "Come here."

Kiska looked around, then jumped into her mother's arms, hugging her tightly.

Alex watched Carolyn with her little daughter, and she sighed softly. Soon, her own baby would be hugging her like that.

Carolyn reached over and squeezed Alex's arm, then called, "Are you boys missing something?"

"No," Bobby answered, emerging from the hallway. "We saw her. I made him put his gun away."

Mike followed him. "Smart ass."

Carolyn stood up, shifting the baby to her hip. "She's going to make sure you get plenty of exercise, Mike," she laughed, walking into the kitchen.

"Does that mean I get to do all the chasing?"

"Yes, Mike," she said sarcastically, grabbing a bottle filled with juice from the refrigerator.

Alex shifted on the couch and looked at Mike. Finally she said, "I'm... sorry about that, Mike."

He frowned at her. "Sorry about what?"

"The cookie."

He gave her a grin and a shrug. "I guess I deserved it."

"Maybe, but that doesn't mean I should have. Forgive me?"

He laughed. "Of course." He glanced at Bobby. "How many times have you forgiven me?"

"A few, I guess," she said with a laugh. The baby started kicking again, and she rested her arm over her stomach. "Wow. Does this kid ever get tired?"

Mike laughed. "Does Bobby?"

She gave that some thought. "No."

"So why are you surprised that his kid has that energy?"

"I guess I'm not." She sat there for a few more moments, then groaned and tried to push herself to her feet. But she couldn't get her balance, and she looked up at Bobby. "Help me, please."

He didn't hesitate to step forward. He always waited for the invitation. The first few times he had jumped the gun and tried to help her without waiting for her to ask, she had bitten his head off. He quickly learned to wait for her to ask. Gently, he helped her to her feet, allowing his hand to rest over the ever-active baby.

She leaned against him for a moment, then groaned and waddled off to the bathroom. "My bladder is not a set of drums, baby," she muttered to her belly.

Carolyn smiled and walked back into the living room, sitting down on the couch with a heavy sigh. Then she sat the baby in her lap and leaned her head back against the back of the couch.

"Are you all right, Carolyn?" Bobby asked.

"I'm fine," she assured him, smiling.

"Bobby? Get in here, now!" Alex called a few minutes later, leaning heavily against a wall.

He hurried down the hall, alarmed by the tone of her voice. "What's wrong?"

She raised her head and looked at him, excitement and fear clear in her eyes. "My water just broke."

He stared at her for a moment in confusion.

She held her hand to her stomach. "The baby is coming, now!"

He raised his eyebrows. "Right now?"

She groaned. "Yes, right now, Goren!"

"Uh, okay...are you, um, are you going to make it to the hospital?"

She took a deep breath, knowing that her partner was suffering a slight case of shock. "Mike!"

Mike appeared in the doorway after a moment, looking from Alex to Bobby and back. "What'd he do now?"

"The baby's coming, and my partner's in shock."

Bobby blinked his eyes and shook his head. "I'm fine. It was just...unexpected...uh...she...she's having the baby now."

"Now...as in boil water and tear up the sheets now?"

Carolyn pushed by the men and glared at them. "No, as in let's get her to the hospital right now, dumb ass."

Bobby touched her arm. "I've got her. I'll drive."

"No, I'll drive. You two help her," she said, walking out of the hallway and picking up Kiska.

Mike looked after her. "Whoa...a hospital's no place for Kitkat...and when did this become a departmental affair?"

Bobby smacked him on the back of the head. "Just shut up. Carolyn will throw more than a cookie at you, stupid."

Bobby slipped his arm around his wife and helped support her. "We'll get there faster if I drive," he reasoned.

Alex sighed and leaned heavily against Bobby. "Just get me to a hospital, now, or I'll drive myself."

"You can't do that," he said, concerned.

"Then get me to a hospital!"

"We're going!"

A contraction announced itself, and Alex gripped Bobby's arm.

Bobby's arm tightened around her and he hesitated until she could move forward again.

Once the contraction was over, Alex sighed and followed Bobby out of the apartment.

Outside in the parking lot, Carolyn looked at Mike and handed him the baby, saying, "Why don't we go drop off the baby with Angie, and we'll meet you two at the hospital?"

"That's... fine," Alex answered, distracted.

Bobby cast a worried glance at Mike, who shrugged. "I missed this part, remember? Later you can tell me how lucky I am."

Carolyn gave Mike a push toward their car, then squeezed Bobby's shoulder. "She's going to be fine," she said reassuringly. "She's going to spend the next few hours saying she hates you, but she doesn't mean it. Remember that."

"Great," he muttered. "Just what I need to hear."

She grinned. "I know, but remember, she's the one going through labor. She'll be delivering_ your_ kid."

"I know. And if I could take that from her I would. I'm...used to pain."

Her smile faded, and she tightened her grip on his shoulder before releasing him. "I know you would. But since you can't, the closest thing is to be there for her. Trust me, when the baby's born, and you hear it cry for the first time..."

Bobby's attention was drawn from her when his wife growled his name. "I'd better go, before she decides to inflict bodily harm on me."

"She'll be doing plenty of that, Goren. But it _will_ be worth it. You'll see." She turned and walked away from him.

Guiding Alex to the car, he settled uneasily behind the wheel and started the car. He glanced at her before pulling away from the curb and racing down the street.

She frowned at the speed they were going, and she muttered, "Slow down, Bobby. We don't need to get pulled over right now."

"I'm not worried about that."

Her head fell back against the headrest, and her eyes closed. "This is going to take a while," she grumbled. "I just know it. Your child is already making me crazy."

"Like I do?" he asked tentatively.

She reached out and rested her hand on his arm. "You make me crazy in a good way."

"An-and the baby doesn't?"

"Bobby..." She sighed. "Okay, you both make me crazy in a great way."

"I-I'm being difficult again, aren't I?"

"Nothing I can't handle."

"I...I'll just...drive." He was deeply unsettled. He always got that way when facing the unknown. Granted, women gave birth to children every day. But this was his woman and his child, and it was different.

Finally they reached the hospital, and she let out a deep breath. "Now the fun really begins," she said sarcastically, unbuckling her seatbelt.

He frowned. "Fun?"

"Sarcasm, Goren. Learn it." She opened the door, then waited for him to help her out of the car.

He sat there for a moment before getting out of the car and coming around to help her. His best bet, he decided, was just to keep quiet.

"Come on, Bobby. Don't get all quiet on me now," she said, gripping his arm tightly.

He bit his lip, uncertain. If she was going to bite his head off every time he spoke, and then again if he remained quiet...which was the better option? He had no idea, no frame of reference, nothing to go on. "I...I'm sorry..."

"No, you're not, remember?" she reminded him as they walked into the hospital. "But I love you."

He sighed. However long this took it was going to be interminable.

She leaned heavily on him again as he spoke with a nurse, and a wheelchair was magically produced. "I'm in labor, I can still walk," she grumbled as Bobby helped her into the chair.

"Shh...let them..." He hesitated, not certain how she would take him telling her what to do at the moment.

She crossed her arms over her chest and frowned, but didn't argue with him. There would be time for that later.

Bobby followed as a nurse pushed her sown the hall to a birthing suite. They got her settled into bed and the nurse left, promising to return shortly.

"Deja vu all over again," Alex muttered once they were alone.

"This time it will be different," he promised.

"I know," she said softly. "You're here."

"N-no, that isn't what I meant."

"But it's true," she insisted.

He shook his head. "I...am incidental," he muttered. "No one is going to take this baby away from you. This time...the baby is yours. All yours."

She reached over and grabbed his hand, squeezing it as tightly as she could. "And yours."

"You have done all the work."

"Damn it, Bobby, knock it off! This baby didn't get here because I wished hard enough. She's here because of both of us!"

He looked away, stung. He tried to remind himself that she was in pain and that made her irritable. Everything he said was going to be the wrong thing. But it still stung.

She took a deep breath, then patted the bed beside her, indicating where he should sit. "I'm sorry, Bobby. But this is our baby, not just mine. No matter what you say."

He sat beside her and said, "I know. I helped make him, but hell, Alex, that was...the easy part. And I have never complained about that. But face it, once that was over, the real work began, and I have had no part in that."

"But it's only nine months," she pointed out, pulling him closer so she could rest her head on his shoulder, where she always felt safe. "After today, it's the both of us, for the rest of our lives."

"Only nine months? Uh, that's not what you've been saying." He tried to smile but wasn't very successful.

"I know. And I'm not going to apologize, because I know what's coming now." She groaned softly.

He gently caressed her cheek. "I'm not looking for any apologies. If anything, I should..." He stopped himself. "But I won't."

"Good." She hugged him tightly.

"This is going to be a...long labor, isn't it?"

"It could be. Matthew took almost twenty four hours."

He groaned, not for himself, but for her.

"Tell me about it. And Dr. Kyle already said that this baby is a little big. That's all you, baby."

A bigger baby meant for a harder delivery, and that unsettled him. He looked away, though, rather than apologize and make her mad.

She settled against him and shifted uncomfortably. "But it's going to be worth it," she said knowingly. "Just like every time I see Matthew."

"Maybe even more so for you, because this baby is yours. No one is going to swamp you right after you deliver and take him away from you."

"Hmm..." Contentment despite her discomfort washed over her. "Our baby." She reached down and touched her stomach. "You hear that, baby? Come on out."

Beside her, Bobby shifted. He was assaulted by a mixed slurry of emotion he couldn't quite decipher. But he kept it to himself, unwilling to burden her any further than he already had by getting her pregnant.

Twenty minutes later, Carolyn appeared in the doorway. "Knock knock," she said softly.

Bobby was standing by the window, looking out down into the street. He had made up his mind that his best bet in dealing with Alex was just to be quiet. She was resting comfortably at the moment, leaving him alone with his thoughts, which had not helped him any at all.

Opening her eyes, Alex smiled at Carolyn. "Hey. Come on in. We're just throwing a wild party in here."

"Is that what you call it?" Bobby wondered. "I never liked parties..."

Carolyn shook a finger at Bobby, then walked over to the bed and hugged her friend gently. "How are you feeling?" she asked as she pulled away.

"Tired. And the real work hasn't even started."

Carolyn smirked. "Mike's in the hallway. Says he's too afraid to come in."

Rolling her eyes, Alex said, "He's an idiot."

"Yeah, but what can we do? He's always been an idiot, and something tells me that will never change."

Bobby turned back toward the window. He couldn't quite blame Mike for hiding in the hall. He'd do the same thing if he could get away with it, which he couldn't.

Alex started to reply, but a contraction had her dropping her chin to her chest and breathing deeply.

Bobby heard the change in her breathing and he turned toward the room, uncertain. He had not been welcome during the last contraction, so he remained where he was, torn between a desire to comfort her and an unwillingness to upset her.

"Damn," she muttered once the pain had subsided. "Maybe I should have let them give me the drugs."

That wasn't what he needed to hear and he turned troubled eyes back toward the window. Vaguely he wondered who this was going to be harder on, her or him.

Carolyn smiled and gently rubbed the smaller woman's back. "I'm going to leave for a little bit." She started toward the door. "Just let us know if you need me or Mike."

Alex nodded and settled back against the pillows again.

"Alex?" he said softly, not leaving the window.

"What, Bobby?"

"Um...what do you want me to do?"

She looked at him oddly, and understanding dawned in her eyes. "Just... stay close," she answered softly.

"Are you...sure...you want me here?" He tried to keep the pain from his tone, not certain he was successful.

"Of course I do."

He grunted softly, not convinced, and looked back out the window. He'd had no idea that having a baby would have caused such turmoil in his head.

CICICICICICICICICICICICICICICICICICICICICICICICICICI

"Damn it, this hurts!" Alex screamed, her entire body tensing up again. Exhausted after more than twenty four hours of labor, and frustrated that she had nothing to show for it, she was almost ready to give up.

Bobby sat on the edge of the bed, holding her and feeling utterly helpless.

She gripped his hand again as tightly as she could, unable to focus on anything but the pain.

Sitting in front of her, the doctor spoke encouragement, telling her when to push and when to wait.

As the latest contraction eased, she fell back and clenched her eyes shut. "Bobby, I'm exhausted. You're brilliant. You find a way to finish this."

He groaned softly at his inability to come up with anything to help her. He softly kissed her temple. If he stated the obvious--just deliver the baby--she was likely to try to strangle him. The last tongue lashing she'd given him was still with him. So he stayed silent, simply tightening his arms around her and resting his cheek against the side of her head.

Free of the severe pain for a moment, she rested against her partner and allowed him to hold her. "This kid is just as stubborn as you are," she said with a hiccup. "Refusing to be born according to anyone's schedule but her own."

He bit his lip, resisting the urge to apologize. He had been sufficiently punished the last time he had said he was sorry. He brushed his lips across her temple again but remained silent. He'd said almost nothing since hard labor had begun and he was totally at a loss over how to comfort her. He was relieved that her father had the sense to keep the family away this time. A room filled with people was the last thing she needed right now. He wasn't entirely certain he was welcome.

"Oh, God..." she groaned, stiffening again. "Please tell me this is almost over!"

"The baby is finally crowning," the doctor encouraged. "Do you want to watch, Bobby?"

Bobby was torn. He had no clue what would upset Alex so he pushed aside his curiosity and muttered, "I'd better stay here."

She shook her head and pushed herself upright again, then gave his shoulder a light shove. "Go. I know you want to."

"This isn't about me," he whispered into her ear.

"Just go, Bobby. Don't let her out of your sight. Go."

"But you..."

"Now, Bobby! Just go. This is the birth of your child, and you don't want to miss it." She tried to smile, but the baby trying to come into the world distracted her.

Reluctantly, he pulled away from her, stepping to the side to watch over a nurse's shoulder.

She watched him go, and despite her pain, she didn't miss the little boy look that came over his face as he watched with wide eyed fascination.

He had never seen anything like it, watching in wonder as the baby's head crowned. Two more pushes, and the baby's head emerged, followed by shoulders. The rest of the little body slid into the world, and all he could do was watch. He was so overwhelmed he was numb. He couldn't move, speak or even think. It was all he could manage to just watch his baby slide into the doctor's hands.

Alex groaned as her entire body finally relaxed, and she fell back against the pillows, completely limp. Through the haze, she looked for her partner and called, "Bobby?"

Her voice broke through his astonishment and he returned to her side, easing himself beside her. Softly, he kissed her.

She pulled back and rested her head on his shoulder. "Where's my baby?"

"Um...getting cleaned up, I think."

She closed her eyes and settled closer to him.

Up until that moment, he had not realized how utterly exhausted he was. He had been up for nearly forty hours. Alex had managed to sleep on and off through the night and most of the day, until the contractions started in earnest, but he had been too worried and too upset to relax. He held her close, still uncertain about saying anything. He hated her unpredictability.

She snuggled into him, groaning softly. The baby's cries finally reached her ears, and she breathed a sigh of relief.

A nurse approached them with a little bundle, wrapped snugly in a soft blanket. Gently, she placed the bundle in Bobby's arms. "Here is your son," she said softly.

Alex's head immediately raised, and more silent tears fell as she reached over and touched a soft, round little cheek. "Our son..."

Entranced by the little person in his arms, Bobby couldn't take his eyes from his newborn son.

Alex stared in awe at the dark head of hair covered by a little blue hat, and tiny fingers that curled and uncurled again. Dark eyes finally appeared from behind tiny eyelids, and she couldn't help but laugh as two tiny eyes crossed, uncrossed, and crossed again.

Barely paying attention to her husband, Alex reached over and closed a trembling hand around one little hand. "Hi, you," she whispered, her voice threatening to break.

Gently, Bobby placed the infant in her arms, kissing her forehead as he did so.

She gladly took the baby in her arms and held him gently to her chest. "He's a lot smaller than I thought," she murmured with a slight smile.

"He's...tiny," Bobby agreed.

"Mommy thought you were going to be a girl, little man," she murmured as she slowly unwrapped the bottom half of the blanket and began counting little toes. "But I'm glad I was wrong."

"Are you really?" Bobby asked, running a gentle finger along the curve of the baby's leg.

"Very."

He drew his eyes from the baby and looked at her exhausted face. "You were, uh, adamant about having a girl," he mused, curious.

"I don't care." She carefully drew the baby closer and smiled contently. "He's here, and I don't think I could be happier if I tried."

Those words made the anguish of the hours of labor worth it to him. Gradually, his tension faded, replaced by numbing fatigue, which he fought.

She snuggled closer against him, careful not to jostle the baby. "Maybe you should go home. Get some sleep," she murmured gently, kissing his cheek.

"I'm fine," he murmured against her head.

She chuckled. "You're not." The baby yawned and nestled against her heartbeat, making her melt all over again. "We've all had a long day."

"I don't..." He sighed, hesitant to upset her again. But he pressed on. "I don't want to leave."

"Okay, you don't have to. But you do have to get some sleep." Her gaze flitted to the door. "When does the invasion begin?"

"When I call your dad," he replied.

"Don't. Wait until we can handle them." She gently nudged him. "But call Mike and Carolyn. Let them know."

He nodded and turned toward the phone, dialing Mike's number and letting him know they had a perfect little son.

Then he settled back in the chair beside her bed, holding his hand toward her and wondering if she would be inclined to take it.

She saw his hand, and she gladly slid hers into his, wishing that he would return to the bed. But if he wanted to be in the chair, that was fine, too. Sighing softly, she settled back against the pillows and closed her eyes.

Curling his hand around hers, he rested his head against her arm, kissing the baby's little head, and he drifted to sleep.

TBC...

A/N: So, is everyone happy now? Bobby and Alex finally have their baby! Yay! And Mike just can't keep his big mouth shut, huh? The idiot. It was originally going to be coffee, but we're not that mean. So just a cookie. Hehehe. We hope everyone enjoyed this chapter, and please review. It makes me update sooner... hahahaha.


	19. Bringing Home Baby

Okay, I noticed that the question that seemed to be on everyone's minds in the last chapter was what was baby boy Goren's name? Well, this chapter answers that question for ya'll. Enjoy, and please remember to review!

Disclaimer: Not ours!

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Her entire body and mind protested as sleep left her, and she grumbled quietly and shifted onto her side. "Bobby?" she called sleepily.

Her voice roused him and he slowly lifted his head, looking at her through half closed eyes. He yawned and murmured, "Hey, baby..."

She smiled and looked around the room. "I guess they took him to the nursery," she said, disappointed.

"They'll bring him back," he said with a smile, reaching out to lightly caress her much smaller stomach.

She tucked her hand under her head. "I know. But I miss him."

He reached toward her and gently drew her face toward his. Giving her a soft, loving kiss, he whispered, "He's beautiful. Just like his mother."

She returned the kiss, then rested her forehead against his. "He has your hair. And your eyes," she murmured.

"Been studying the baby, huh?"

She quirked an eyebrow. "Where else did you think he could have gotten it? You're the only one of us with dark hair..."

"Two of your brothers have dark hair, baby."

She rolled her eyes. "Face it, Bobby. He's going to be a mini you." A grin spread across her face. "Just what I wanted."

"Do you mean that?" he asked with a curious tilt of his head.

"Why else would I say it? You're handsome, brilliant..." Her eyes drifted down, and her grin grew wider. "And plenty of other things."

He drew in a deep breath at her insinuation and softly groaned. "Don't tease," he murmured. "It's going to be a couple of weeks before..." He trailed off with a half smile.

"I'm not trying to. I'm just stating the obvious."

He rubbed the back of his neck. "You're going to kill me," he said with an amused grin.

"That was the original plan. But I decided to keep you around for a while," she said with a wink.

"You're going to enjoy torturing me, aren't you?"

"With everything I have in my arsenal, baby."

He groaned softly. "I didn't think I'd survive the pregnancy. I know I won't survive post-partum."

She smiled and reached over, pulling him against her in a loose hug. "I love you."

He sighed softly. "I love you, too, baby."

She leaned against him for a while, then slowly pulled away. "You think you can smooth talk them into bringing him back?"

He grinned. "I'll give it a try."

"Go. I'm awake now. I have bonding to do," she said with a laugh.

"I'll be right back," he promised as he stood up, leaning over to give her a kiss.

She returned the kiss softly, then settled back against the pillows to wait for his return.

Ten minutes later, he returned, pushing an isolette where their son lay wrapped in a receiving blanket. Gently, he lifted the newborn into his arms, kissing his forehead before laying him in his mother's arms.

"Hey there, handsome," she murmured, smiling contently when the baby opened his eyes.

Bobby sat beside the bed and watched his little family, enjoying the unfamiliar feeling of contentment he felt.

The baby began fussing, and Alex moved her hospital gown aside and adjusted the baby so he could nurse.

A small smile revealed not only amusement but fascination as he watched his little son nurse. Reaching out, he gently grasped a little foot through the blanket.

She turned her head and watched him. "Before you know it, that's going to make him laugh."

"That will be amazing to hear," he muttered absently.

"Yes, it will," she agreed, running her finger lightly against the baby's cheek.

"Can we come in?" Carolyn called softly from the door.

Alex looked at her husband.

Bobby shrugged, leaving the decision up to her. "I didn't just give birth," he said reasonably.

She turned back to Carolyn and nodded. "Come on in."

Carolyn took a step back, grabbed Mike's arm, and pulled him along into the room with her.

Mike took one look at Alex nursing her son and turned back toward the door. "Aw, geez...I thought it was bad enough walking in when they were trying to _make_ the kid..."

"Shut up, ass," Alex retorted, gently handing the baby to Bobby and adjusting her gown.

Leaning closer to her husband, Alex murmured, "Try burping him."

Smoothly shifting the baby to his shoulder, he patted the baby's back until he burped. Then he leaned back, relaxed, and cradled the infant in his arms. His eyes remained riveted on the tiny face, and he remained unaware of anything going on around him.

Carolyn smiled and squeezed Mike's arm, then sat down in the empty chair beside the bed. To Bobby, she said, "I told you so." Then she turned to Alex and asked, "How are you feeling?"

Alex nodded slowly. "Sore, but I'm fine." She grinned. "Better than him, I think."

Mike walked over to Bobby and tapped the back of his head. "Wake up, man. They're talking about you."

Bobby shrugged after giving him an annoyed glance. "So let them talk. That hurts me how?"

"I hate being talked about," Mike complained.

Bobby shrugged. "I'm used to it."

"Now come on, Bobby," Alex smirked. "You know I only ever say good things about you."

He smiled. "Don't lie, Eames. I like your nose the way it is."

She pretended to pout. "Yeah, right."

Without disturbing his son, he leaned over and kissed her.

She returned the kiss readily, her hand resting gently on the back of his neck.

He needed no encouragement to deepen the kiss.

Carolyn turned her head and looked at Mike. "You think they even know we're still here?"

Mike snorted. "Do they ever?"

She shook her head. "I don't think so."

"If they start undressing, I'm outta here."

Alex caught that, and she slid her hand under Bobby's shirt, knowing Mike could see it.

Bobby was paying no attention to Mike, and he softly groaned at the fingers playing across his skin. He slipped his free hand along her leg.

"Okay, okay," Carolyn said, reaching over and gently taking the baby into her own arms. A pair of sleepy brown eyes stared up at her, and a flood of memories came back as she said, "Hi, baby boy."

"I think we've scared Mike enough for today," Alex whispered, pulling Bobby closer against her and snuggling up to him.

He buried his face in her neck, holding her and struggling to settle himself.

She ran her hand over his shoulder, then moved it to the back of his neck.

"Look at this little cutie, Mike," Carolyn murmured, pressing her finger against an incredibly tiny palm.

Mike moved to her side and smiled at the little boy. "He is cute."

Longing washed over her, but she swallowed it and cuddled the newborn close.

Slowly, Bobby sat back in the chair, not quite recovered.

Alex looked around the room, and a look of inevitable dread crossed her face. "Did you call my dad yet, baby?"

"No," he muttered. "N-not until you're ready."

"Well, we should go ahead and get it over with. But... tell him not to bring the whole clan. He knows who not to. He can tell them we're fine."

"Sure." He got up and wandered out of the room as he pulled his phone from his pocket.

When Bobby was gone, Alex watched Carolyn hold her son, and she said, "He has Bobby's hair, doesn't he?"

Carolyn nodded. "Dark and curly. He's never going to be able to deny this child."

Laughing, Alex said, "Like he would ever want to, or even think about it."

"No, he wouldn't."

Mike moved away from the women. "I'll be back," he said, heading out of the room.

Carolyn watched him go, and she reluctantly handed the baby back to his mother, then settled back into the chair again.

Alex took the baby and settled him against her heart, then studied her friend carefully. "What's the matter, Carolyn?" she asked gently.

Carolyn shook her head and forced a smile. "Nothing, Alex."

She wasn't about to give up. "Yes, there is. The guys are gone. You can talk to me."

Carolyn pressed her hand to her mouth, then said shakily, "It's... not fair."

"What's not fair?"

"I wasn't supposed... to lose that baby. And I am so happy for you two..."

Alex nodded understandingly. "I know, Carolyn," she soothed. "It wasn't right. And she's going to pay for doing that to you."

Carolyn's breath caught in her throat, and she quickly wiped her tears away and smiled at Alex. Then she stood up and walked to the other side of the room, staring out of the window and down at the people who passed them.

Mike found Bobby in the hall as he got off the phone. He held out his hand. "Congratulations, Bobby. You're a natural, just like I knew you'd be."

Bobby grinned. "He's so little."

"They start out that way, I'm told."

Bobby smiled. "She's happy, you know. That's what it's all about. She wanted this so badly. How could I deny her something she wanted so much?"

"And what about you?"

"Me?"

"Yeah, you. Are you happy?"

Bobby gave it some thought before he finally nodded. "Yeah, Mike. I am."

Mike smiled. "That's what I wanted to hear. Now let her know that."

They headed back into Alex's room.

Alex looked to the door when it opened, and she smiled. "He's quiet," she remarked as Bobby sat down beside her on the bed.

"That's good."

"He must get that from you."

He smiled shyly. "That wouldn't surprise me. I was...a quiet kid."

"And my dad said I was a hell raiser."

"Why does that not surprise me? I was...discouraged from being...rambunctious...but it wasn't in my nature, so that saved me more than a few beatings."

She tugged on his arm with her free hand, pulling him closer to her. Then she kissed his cheek.

His eyes remained on their son. "He...will always be encouraged to be...himself. He will...never find disapproval at home," he murmured softly.

"I know he won't, Bobby." She laid her head on his shoulder and watched with a smile as the baby studied his hand intently, then shoved it into his mouth and snuggled closer to Alex.

"Mommy's boy," he whispered, kissing the side of her head.

She nodded wordlessly, tears filling her eyes again. "You know something, Bobby?" she asked softly.

"What?"

"This is the best thing I've ever done," she replied, kissing the baby's soft head.

He watched her with love. "Me, too," he whispered, caressing her cheek.

This time she couldn't keep the tears from falling, and she leaned closer to him.

"Don't cry, baby."

"Sorry," she mumbled, wiping the tears away. "It's the hormones."

"Are you sure that's all it is?"

"Yes. I went through the same thing with Matthew."

"You're happy?"

"Of course." She nuzzled her face against his neck.

"You have never looked more...beautiful," he whispered.

She smiled and blushed lightly. "I just gave birth, and I haven't had a shower in two days. Shut up."

"I'm dead serious."

She groaned and buried her face further in his neck.

Carolyn turned her head from the window and smiled at the two, then continued to stare out the window. Something wasn't sitting right with her, and she didn't even know what it was. She was thrilled for Alex and Bobby, but a small voice in the back of her mind was saying that something was coming. What that was, she just didn't know. And she didn't like it.

She felt Mike's hand on her arm, pulling her from her thoughts, and she turned and leaned back against the wall.

Running a hand through her hair, Carolyn smiled again at the small family, and a thought occurred to her. Glancing at Mike, she said, "We've been here for a while, but you know something? You two didn't even tell us this little guy's name."

Alex looked at Bobby, then said softly, "I uh, know we talked about Stephen Christopher, Bobby, but what do you think about Benjamin Stephen?"

He smiled at her. "That's fine with me, Alex."

She grinned and touched her forehead against his cheek. Then she looked at Mike and Carolyn and said, "Then I'd like you two to meet Benjamin Stephen Goren."

The baby made a small, snuffling noise, and Carolyn smiled. "I think someone agrees."

Alex played with her son's little hand, then gently laid the baby in his father's arms. "He's going to be big enough to be playing with Kiska before we know it," she murmured.

"They grow up very fast," he agreed.

"Too fast." She blinked, then slipped her arm under Bobby's and leaned against him. Time slipped by in silence, until Alex's sharp ears detected a collected clamoring coming from down the hall.

"They're here," she announced, sitting up in the bed, but keeping her hand on Bobby's leg.

He leaned over and kissed her, then, settling his son in the crook of his arm, he stood up to greet her family.

Regina was the first to reach the door, and when she saw Bobby, she grinned and greeted him with a careful hug. "Oh, he's precious," she murmured, laying her hand against the baby's cheek. "How's Alex?"

"Fine. I told her she's beautiful, and she got offended."

She rolled her eyes. "Don't worry. I did that once on the wrong day, and I've never lived it down. That's just her." She extended her arms. "Can I?"

He placed the baby in her arms with a soft smile, then turned to greet John Eames as he came through the door.

"Hello, John."

"Congratulations, Bobby. How's my girl doing?"

"She's fine." He motioned him further into the room, encouraging him to cross over to the bed to see his daughter. As the family members filtered into the room, he moved away to stand near the window, overwhelmed by the small crowd. Mike approached him. "We're gonna cut out, pal. You've got enough company. I'll take you out and we can celebrate properly later in the week."

"Thanks for coming by, Mike. I'll call you later."

Mike grinned and waited by the door for Carolyn to join him.

Carolyn stopped by the bed to hug Alex, then squeezed Bobby's shoulder as she made her way over to Mike.

"Let's go get the baby and go home," she whispered, running her hand over his back.

Alex swallowed an irrational fear as Regina walked into the room carrying her newborn son, and suddenly she felt an overwhelming sense of deja vu wash over her. Chewing on her lip, she scanned the room for her husband, breathing a silent breath of relief when she saw him in the corner of the room, shying away from her large and noisy family.

He saw her look his way, saw the panic in her eyes, and he understood. Silently, he approached Regina, and he gave her a warm smile. "Do you, uh, do you mind?"

She shook her head and handed the baby back to him carefully. "There you go, sweetie," she murmured to the baby, who had opened his eyes again and was looking at his surroundings with mild interest.

He gave her another smile, then casually made his way over to the bed, where he gently placed the baby in his mother's arms, giving her a soft kiss as he whispered into her ear, "I promised."

She held the baby close to her and kissed him. "Thank you," she whispered back.

He smiled and returned to the corner by the window.

Matthew, who had been hiding behind his father's legs, cautiously made his way over to the bed.

Alex smiled when she saw her nephew, and she nodded to Aaron, who lifted the little boy in his arms and carefully placed him on the bed beside Alex. A quiet descended over the room as Alex said softly, "Hey, Matt. Do you want to meet your cousin?"

The little boy nodded, and Alex drew Matt into her side with her free arm. "This is Benjamin, Matt," she murmured, kissing her nephew's forehead.

Matthew stared at the little boy in his aunt's arm in thoughtful silence. Then his face broke out in a bright smile when he touched the newborn's palm, and five little fingers wrapped around his. "Aun' Alex, he likes me!" Matt said in hushed excitement.

Alex smiled warmly at them. "Yes, he does, Matt," she murmured.

A few minutes later, Matt leaned against Alex and closed his eyes, and Regina smiled and walked over to the bed. "Someone's tired," she whispered to Alex as she picked up her son and laid him on her shoulder.

Alex watched as Regina picked up Matt, and her heart suddenly ached all over again. Her gaze went back and forth between the two children she had carried for nine months inside of her, the two children she had given birth to. One never to be truly hers. The other to always be theirs.

Bobby continued to observe her from where he stood, relaxed, arms folded over his chest.

She held her little boy a little closer and watched as Regina handed Matt to her husband. She had never regretted giving birth to Matt, but when she had agreed, she had been so sure that she would simply carry the child, then give him to his parents. She wouldn't let herself get attached. And even through the hours of labor, she hadn't regretted her decision. But then they had handed the baby to her, and barely a minute later, she found herself looking at Regina and Aaron as Regina held the baby and cooed to him. That had been the moment it hit her.

They always said that labor would be the hardest part of the surrogacy. But they couldn't have been more wrong. Watching Aaron and Regina with _their_ son had been the hardest part. Knowing that there was a good chance that she would never have that for herself.

Salty drops rolled down her cheeks, but she quickly wiped them away before anyone could see them. Bobby was right. This time was different. This time, the baby in her arms would go home with _her_, and would wake _her_ up at all hours of the night hungry or just wanting to be comforted.

Bobby saw the tears and became troubled. He wondered if she was still afraid someone was going to take Ben away from her and she would once again go home without a baby. He pushed himself off the wall and slipped beside her, placing a kiss in front of her ear. "Are you all right?"

She nodded and rested her head against his. "Just thinking," she answered in a soft voice.

"About what?"

"Everything."

"Everything...doesn't bring tears, baby."

"Yes it does." She looked down and started caressing Ben's tiny fist with her fingertips.

"You're still disturbed...worried...Do you want me to get rid of everyone?"

She looked around at her family, who was chattering quietly amongst themselves, and she nodded slowly. "I thought... I thought I could handle it," she whispered, swallowing thickly. "But... I just don't know..."

"It's all right," he murmured.

Stepping away from the bed, he drew her father aside and talked quietly with him for a moment. John nodded and approached the bed, leaning over to kiss his daughter and grandson. "I understand you're tired, sweetheart. You just rest and we can visit after you're home and feeling better. I'll call you tomorrow." He squeezed her arm. "You have a good man, Alex."

She nodded and rested her hand over her father's. "I know I do, Dad," she murmured. "He's good to me."

"I see that. Good night, honey."

"Night, Dad."

John ushered everyone out of the room, leaving Alex and Bobby alone with their son.

As soon as they were gone, Alex sank back against the pillows and shut her eyes, but kept her careful hold on her little boy.

"He's yours, Alex. No one is going to take him from you. Not your family...not even me."

"I know... I just... I can't make it stop." She reached over to a box of Kleenex by the bed, grabbed a tissue and held it to her nose. Then she grabbed another and wiped at her eyes.

"Oh, baby..." He sat beside her on the bed and drew her against his chest, stroking her hair with one hand and resting the other on his little son.

She hid her face in his shirt and breathed deeply, willing the tears and pain to subside. When she felt as though she could breathe again, she slowly lifted her head and looked down at the little baby cradled in the crook of her arm. Not sure of what else to say, she asked, "Do you think he'll like his home?"

He started to laugh. "Trust me. It's not the walls that make a home."

Comforted by his laugh, she smiled. "Right."

"He's going to be happy," he promised.

"He's so tiny... I'm glad we got the nursery finished, but you and Mike have to repaint it," she said, her smile slowly growing wider.

"You chose the color to start with," he replied, his lips quirked into a smile.

"But I want it to be blue. Call me old fashioned. And you promised, remember?"

He raised a hand. "Whatever you want." His eyes returned to the little bundle in her arms and the look on his face became distant.

She snuggled against him, handing him the baby slowly as she yawned.

He took the baby and gave her a kiss. Then he studied the tiny face and whispered, "If I never do anything right in my life, I promise I will always treat you right. You're going to be a happy little guy, and I will never do anything to take that away from you."

She heard his soft promise, and her arm curled around him as she settled in closer against his warmth. "You're doing just fine, Bobby," she murmured as her eyes drifted shut.

"Eight hours..." he said softly. "And I haven't screwed up yet. So far, so good, little man."

She smiled and reached out, laying a tender hand on the baby's head.

"I'm sorry my mother didn't live to see me married to you, to meet this baby. And yet...I'm not..." He tried to swallow a sudden agitation. "I...I don't have to be told...I screwed up with this..."

That last comment drew her back from the brink of sleep, and she shook her head. "Bobby... no, you haven't done anything to screw this up. Absolutely nothing."

"I...I know that. But she would have found fault, like she did with everything I did."

She thought for a moment. "Maybe, but that's why I'm here. When you screw up, I let you know about it."

He looked away. "Yeah...she did, too. Only...everything I did was wrong."

She exhaled deeply. "Bobby... baby, you have to let it go. She's gone. She can't do that anymore."

"Don't you think I would let it go if I could? Alex..." He sighed and tried to calm himself when the baby began to fuss in response to his tension. "How do you let go of forty-six years of conditioning in the span of a few months?"

She rested a protective hand on his back. "If you put all of your energy... into something that was never in your control to begin with... how can you put all of yourself into our son, like I know you want to do? I know it's hard, but Ben needs both of us."

"You, uh, you know that you're the important one. But I do plan to put all of myself into raising him, like I put everything into loving you."

"I wouldn't expect anything less from you, baby."

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to...upset you any more than you were."

"You didn't. I'm glad you're talking to me."

"Even if the things I have to say aren't easy to hear?"

"Of course," she assured him gently.

"Well...I don't need to be upsetting Ben." He drew in a deep breath. "Maybe you should take him..."

She gently took him out of her husband's arms, kissing Bobby as she did. "Only eight hours old, and already as intuitive as his father," she murmured.

"I tried...not to unsettle him..."

"That's like me trying to pretend not to be upset to keep from upsetting you."

"Maybe I should go for a walk."

Her brows furrowed, but she understood. "I'm tired, anyways," she murmured, carefully laying Ben in the isolette and pulling it as close as she could to the bed.

"I'll be back."

"Okay. We'll be sleeping," she said with a smile as she laid her head on the pillows and pulled the blanket over herself.

Walking around to the isolette, he kissed his son, and then he leaned down to give her a kiss as well. "I love you," he murmured. Then he left the room and headed out of the hospital onto the streets of a city he had never feared.

CICICICICICICICICICICICICICICICICICICICICICICICICICI

As soon as they stepped into the living room, Alex let out a sigh and smiled. "It's good to be home," she said softly.

Bobby carried the baby cuddled into his shoulder. Alex had assumed that he'd actually come home to sleep since he had not returned to the hospital until morning, and he had let her think that. He'd actually spent the entire night walking the streets, trying to figure out a way to let go of his mother's grip on his life once and for all. It had been a fruitless night and he was exhausted. But he was used to hiding exhaustion and unrest, with varying degrees of success.

She turned around and carefully took the baby from him, kissing the corner of his mouth as she did. "Cutie," Alex murmured as she sat down on the couch and intently watched their son.

Bobby eased himself down onto the opposite side of the couch, leaning back into the corner of it and watching Alex with her baby...his son...and his chance to make everything in his life right.

"This feels right, Bobby," she whispered, tracing her son's tiny features. "And now that we're home..."

He tried to keep his eyes open and listen to her, but he was relaxed in the home he shared with her and his exhaustion quickly caught up with him. He faded into a heavy, restive sleep.

She smiled at him, then kissed her son's forehead. "Daddy's sleepy," she murmured, rising to her feet and pacing around the room.

A half hour later, there was a knock on the door, and Alex quickly looked through the peephole and opened the door. "Hey," she greeted Mike and Carolyn quietly.

Carolyn looked past Alex and, seeing Bobby sleeping on the couch, grinned.

"He's tired," Alex said with a small shrug. "I don't think he's been sleeping these last couple of days."

"You mean less than he usually doesn't sleep?" Mike asked.

"As soon as we got home, he went to sleep," she answered, opening the door and shutting it once Mike and Carolyn were inside.

"Really? Wow...was he up all night?"

"He said he was going for a walk, and I went to sleep myself. I didn't wake up until this morning, and he was there." She reached over and smoothed her hand over Kiska's little head. "I figured he came back here to sleep, or crashed at your place."

"He didn't stop at our place. I'll bet money he walked all night."

She looked over at her sleeping husband and sighed softly. "That wouldn't surprise me."

"What upset him?"

"I... He and I were talking, and he told me... he can hear his mother still finding fault with everything he does." Her voice dropped. "Including our marriage and our son."

"He thinks you and the baby are...wrong?"

She shook her head. "No. But she... still has a hold on him."

"That may be something he'll never shake."

She sighed deeply and looked at her husband again, then said, "I'm going to go get Ben." Then she turned around and disappeared down the hall.

"I wasn't trying to upset her," he muttered.

"It's not you, Mike," Carolyn murmured. "It's the hormones. It won't last for long, though." Leaning up, she kissed him reassuringly.

Alex walked back into the living room, holding Ben to her and gently bouncing him. "Someone is wide awake," she said softly.

Turning in her father's arms, Kiska's dark eyes widened at the sight of the tiny blue bundle in Alex's arms. She leaned forward to get a better look, then tilted her head to the side and said, "Baby!"

Mike started to laugh. "Now who does she remind you of?"

Both Alex and Carolyn smiled. "She's a keeper, huh, Mike?" Carolyn said, laughing.

"I never said she wasn't."

She reached up and ruffled his hair affectionately.

Alex continued to gently rock her son, stepping closer so Kiska could get a better view of the baby boy.

Kiska turned around in Mike's arms and grabbed his shirt in her tiny fist. "Da! Baby!"

"Yep, that's a baby. His name is Ben."

She grinned. "'En!" She released his shirt and clapped her hands together.

"Very good, Kitkat." He set her on the floor. "Why don't you run over there and see if you can wake up Uncle Bobby."

She giggled and toddled over to the couch, then, grabbing Bobby's pant leg, lifted herself up onto the couch beside her favorite uncle. "Umba!"

Bobby stirred and slowly opened one eye as a little hand patted his cheek. He gave her a sleepy smile. "Hey, Cubby."

"Umba! Baby!" she laughed, waving a chubby hand in Alex's direction.

"Did you see the baby?" he asked, pulling her close and sitting her on his chest.

She nodded and hugged him tightly. "'En!"

"That's right. Ben. Very good."

Carolyn grinned at Mike. "She's a genius, babe. I think we're in trouble."

"A year old and she's got her old man beat. I'm worried."

She reached out and pulled him against her. "When did she ever not have you beat, Mikey?" she laughed, brushing his hair away from his forehead.

"Ha ha." He gave her a quick kiss and walked over to sit beside Bobby. "You okay, man?"

Bobby nodded and poked Kiska's belly, making her giggle. "I'm okay. Just tired."

Ben began fussing in her arms, and Alex looked at the two men. "Someone's hungry. I'll be in the nursery if anyone needs me," she said quietly.

Bobby looked at her. "I'll always need you," he said.

She walked over to the couch and leaned over to kiss his forehead. Then she walked down the hall and disappeared into the nursery.

Carolyn stood for a few more moments, then sat down on the couch beside Mike. Kiska looked around at the three adults, kissed Bobby's cheek, then reached her arms out for Mike.

Mike lifted her into his lap. Bobby stretched wearily. "Maybe I should go into the bedroom."

Carolyn studied him. "You look exhausted. Go lay down and get some real sleep."

Mike nudged him. "What'd you do last night?"

"Nothing. I just walked."

He kissed Kiska. "Alex thinks I stopped off someplace to sleep, and I let her think it. I...don't want her to worry."

He got up from the couch and started across the room.

"Go talk to Alex," Carolyn said gently. "You'll both feel better."

He turned. "No, I won't."

She frowned. "You should still talk to her," she insisted. "I have a good idea of what she's going through right now."

He stood there for a moment, thinking. Then he turned and went into the nursery.

Carolyn settled back against the couch, resting one hand on Mike's thigh.

Kiska looked at her, then said stubbornly, "No, Ma. My Da."

Mike started laughing.

Carolyn quirked an eyebrow, then slid her arm around Mike's shoulders.

Kiska's lower lip jutted out, and Carolyn dissolved into laughter before lifting the little girl into her own arms. "She's definitely got a mind of her own."

"And that mind has decided I'm hers and she doesn't want to share."

"Apparently."

Alex looked up from the rocking chair she was sitting in when the door opened, and she smiled gently at Bobby. "What do you need, Bobby?" she asked.

He walked over to the chair and dropped to one knee beside it, reaching out to cup his hand over her cheek. He stroked his thumb along her cheek but said nothing.

She carefully freed one arm and rested her hand over his.

"You're upset," he said softly.

"What makes you say that?" she asked just as softly.

"I know you."

She bit her bottom lip and averted her eyes. "I... I'm just worried about you."

"What are you worried about?"

"I always worry about you, Bobby. I wish that I could make all of those things disappear, but I can't. And that bothers me." She moved the baby to her shoulder and patted his little back gently.

He waited for the baby to burp, then he gently took him and laid him in the crib. He returned to her and quietly said, "Nothing will erase the past...but you make the present and the future worthwhile."

She stared at him for a minute, then rose out of the chair and stepped into his embrace, wrapping her arms tightly around him. "I love you, Bobby," she whispered, her voice muffled by his shirt. "I love you."

"I know you do. There have been times I wished you didn't, for your own sake, but you never listened to me...and I'm glad. Without you, I would have nothing. I need you...and I do love you. With all my heart."

"Of course I didn't listen to you. You worry about everyone else too much, and you don't think about yourself enough. Someone has to. And I need you, too. I don't ever want to let you go."

He wasn't sure how to reply. Words evaded his mind and he stood in silence, watching her.

She stared back at him, her heart suddenly pounding. "Bobby? You know I'm telling the truth, don't you?"

"Why would you think I don't?"

She exhaled deeply. "I'm sorry... I guess I just needed... reassurance." She hated admitting it, but it was the truth.

His eyebrows arched upward. "You? You need...reassurance?"

She sat down in the rocking chair again, resting her head in her hands. "Of course I do, Bobby. I just... don't like to admit it."

"You...you're the secure one," he mused.

"I'm not as secure as your or anyone likes to think."

"But you have me beat, hands down."

"I'm not perfect, Bobby. I do need reassurances sometimes. Just like you do." She stood up and rested her hands on his shoulders. "We both need that. I'm just better at hiding it most of the time."

He snorted. "No one is perfect. And you don't need it like I do. But you can stop doubting me. I do love you."

Her arms slid around him, and she swayed slightly against him. "Do you feel better?" she asked after a few silent moments.

He leaned closer and claimed her mouth in a kiss that quickly escalated, even though that had not been his intent. He didn't have it in him to tell her he didn't feel better. But kissing her certainly helped.

She rested her hands on his neck and pulled him closer, unwilling to let him go. He deepened the kiss, and her hand slid under his shirt, desperate for the contact that his skin against hers provided.

He knew that sex was out of the question, but he craved physical contact with her. His hands gently slipped under her shirt, caressing her skin as she stroked his.

She shivered and rested her ear against his pounding heart. "Thank you," she whispered, her hands sliding from his back to his chest.

He hesitated, his mind tripping over her words. "F-For...what?"

"For being my partner, for marrying me, for giving me my son. Everything."

He pulled back and studied her with a puzzled look on his face.

"Don't look at me like that, Bobby. You know I'm right. You gave me all of these amazing things, and I..."

"And you what? I gave you nothing, Alex. You are the one who has given me everything. You...changed my life."

"Bobby..." She shook her head and pulled him closer again. "You did give me these things. And next to our son, the best gift you ever gave me was coming back to me."

"Back? I never left..."

"You did. But you came back. That's all that matters to me." She reached up and pulled his head down so that their foreheads touched.

He was still confused. "Where do you think I went?"

Her eyes dropped to his chest, and she fingered the light material of his shirt.

"Alex?"

"Bobby, I've told you before. In New Jersey..."

He withdrew suddenly, stepping back, eyes filled with pain. "I told you..." He shook his head slowly. "Never mind. I...I'm very tired. I..." He shook his head again. He gave her a soft kiss, loving, but lacking the passion of a few moments earlier. "I'm going to lay down. I love you." Without saying anything more, he left the room.

She stood there in the nursery, then sat down in the rocking chair, suddenly feeling as though the weight of the world was on her shoulders. She wanted to go after him, but she just didn't know what to say. She had told him how much it hurt when she was certain that she was going to lose him, but there was no way for him to understand. And she didn't even want him to understand. As much as he wanted to shield her from the pain of his past, she wanted to shield him from the pain of what she had gone through that summer. How could she explain that the pain of giving Matthew up couldn't compare to the pain of losing him? It was impossible.

Bobby dropped onto the bed and stared at the ceiling. Without ever trying he had caused her so much pain. That grieved him deeply, and he knew of no way to make it up to her. He beat himself up over it frequently and still found no way to make it up to her, or to ease his own grief over the pain he had caused her. How did he always manage to screw things up?

She leaned forward in the rocking chair and stared through the bars of the crib, at their little son. And as she watched him laying there, his innocence untainted and his heart completely pure, something inside of her changed. With a soft sigh, she stood up and picked up their son. Then she walked into the bedroom, silently sitting down beside her husband and laying Ben on his chest.

Then she leaned over and brushed her lips against his, the kiss soft and understanding.

He looked at her in confusion as he rested a hand on the baby's back. He would never understand her, but there was no doubt that he loved her. With her sitting right there, her hand caressing his forehead, he found himself struggling to remain awake.

She ran a hand lightly over his forehead. "Sleep," she whispered, watching him intently. "We'll be here when you wake up."

"P-Promise?" he murmured.

She smiled a little. "I promise. You just go to sleep."

Reassured, he allowed himself to drift off, one hand resting on her leg and the other holding on to his sleeping son.

When she was sure he wouldn't wake up, she gently moved his hand and picked up their son. Then she dropped a light kiss on his forehead and walked out of the room, back into the living room.

"He's asleep," she said quietly, shifting her son to her shoulder and hugging him close.

Carolyn passed Kiska back into Mike's arms, then stood up and approached Alex. "Are you okay?" she asked softly, running a hand over Ben's back.

"I'll be fine," Alex assured her.

"You know you can call us if you need anything, right?"

Alex smiled. "Yeah, I do. Thanks."

Carolyn shook her head. "That's what friends are for. Just take care of both of them."

"I do." Alex kissed the side of her son's head.

Carolyn took a step back, touching her daughter's head as she passed the couch.

"Why don't we go home?" Carolyn suggested, running light fingers through Mike's hair.

He nodded slowly, concerned about his friend, but realizing there was nothing he could do for him at the moment. "You'll call if you need me?" he asked Alex.

She nodded. "Of course."

"All right," he sighed. "Let's go."

Carolyn walked over to the door and waited patiently for Mike and their daughter.

Mike slipped Kiska into her jacket and zipped it up. "Say bye-bye to Aunt Alex," he said.

Kiska waved her hand and giggled.

Alex smiled and waved back at the little girl.

He followed Carolyn out the door, glancing back at Alex with a concerned frown as he pulled the door closed.

Alex sighed as the door closed, and she stood there for a few minutes, contemplating taking Ben back to his nursery. But she decided against it, and instead went back into the bedroom, moving carefully as she climbed onto the bed and stretched out beside her sleeping partner. Then she laid her son on her chest and stared ahead at the wall. On her chest, Ben stretched and made soft noises, and she rested her hand on his back. "I know, little man," she whispered. "I know."

TBC...

A/N: There ya'll go. Little Ben Goren. It took forever for us to finally decide on a name. But there it is. And who else is freaking out about Thursday? I know we are!! All I'm hoping for is some kind, ANY kind of BA interaction. I'm really hoping that the reason they cut off the scene where he's chained down is cause a few seconds later, Alex comes barging in and gets him out of there! Maybe there's even a confrontation with one of the staff, or she can't get him free (cause she doesn't have the keys) and she has to hold his head and keep him calm until someone brings the keys or bolt cutters. That'd be amazing. Am I right, my fellow BA shippers?


	20. A Woman's Love

It's here! Tonight's the new ep! Woot! InfinityStar and I have pretty much decided that this story is coming to an end, as much as I hate to say it. There's maybe five or six chapters left, maybe less. Then we'll get started on the next story in this Neverending Series. Oh, and this chapter has quite a bit of smut, so be warned. Enjoy, and please remember to review!

Disclaimer: Anyone you recognize isn't ours. We just have Kiska and little Ben.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Bobby opened his eyes, scanning the darkness for the source of the noise that had woken him. His attention was drawn to the space between him and Alex, where the baby kicked and made little noises. He got up and lifted the newborn into his arms, pacing the floor as he bounced the baby gently and softly sang to him.

The baby snuggled into his chest and settled against him, finding his fist and chewing on it.

Bobby rubbed his back and kissed his soft head. "Let's let Mommy sleep for a little while. You can hang with me for a bit, okay, buddy?"

The baby moved against him and he smiled. He had loved feeling the baby move against his hand while he'd lived inside his mother, but nothing compared to the feeling he got now, holding the little guy in his arms, hearing the little noises he made and being able to kiss his soft head...change his diaper...watch him eat...He smiled. He had to admit, that was something that utterly fascinated him, how he could marvel at the breast feeding and not feel anything close to the arousal he felt seeing the same part of her body without a baby attached to it. He looked toward the bed, a slurry of mixed emotions welling up inside him.

He wasn't sure where the unrest and uncertainty came from, but he couldn't deny its existence. And it disturbed him deeply that she questioned his commitment, even after all they'd been through. What bothered him more, though, was the renewal of negative emotion she'd expressed stemming from his accident last year. He had not meant to wreck his car. He had been so overwhelmed by exhaustion and grief. He wasn't quite certain why he'd passed out at the wheel, but he knew she got nervous every time he left the house without her. He had no idea how to reassure her.

It unnerved him not only to be unable to reassure her, but he wasn't able to figure out where his own emotional discord was coming from. Her need for reassurance troubled him almost as much as the fact that she seemed unable to put the past behind her. Granted he had a lot more practice at burying the things that bothered him, but he'd really thought she'd moved on. Finding out she hadn't depressed him. He kissed the baby's head and softly sighed. Snuggling his arms around the baby, he was amazed at how much the little guy was able to soothe his troubled soul.

When Alex awoke and found the bed empty, an irrational fear swept over her. But she quickly squashed it and climbed out of the bed, padding quietly to the nursery. Peering into the room, she closed her eyes and relaxed at the sight of Bobby holding their son and pacing slowly around the room. After a moment, she leaned against the door and said quietly, "Everything okay in here?"

He turned toward her, surprised. "Fine. I wanted to let you sleep for as long as Ben would let you."

She smiled. "Thanks, but I'm fine now." She crossed the floor and kissed her son's forehead.

He let her take the baby, who started rooting around as soon as she settled him against her. "I, uh, I'll leave you alone..." He started toward the door.

"No, don't go," she murmured, lifting her shirt so their son could nurse.

He stopped, uncertain.

She let out a trembling breath. "I'm... sorry about last night, Bobby. I was upset."

"I know you were. I just don't understand why."

"It was... a lot of things... that have been on my mind lately. I didn't mean to take it out on you."

"I don't care about that. I just...bothers me that those things still upset you. I thought you'd gotten over it."

"I thought I did, too." She walked to the corner of the room by the window and sat down in the rocking chair.

"So...what happened?"

"I don't really know. I just... started thinking about... everything..."

"I...don't get it..."

"I know. I'm sorry. It's hard to... talk about it." She let her head fall back against the chair. "And... just as hard to explain."

He shifted uncomfortably. "So...what do we do?"

"I don't know." She looked down at their son. "I made... a promise once, and... I've just... felt like I've been breaking it. And it really hurts."

"What promise?"

Her eyes drifted up to the ceiling, then back down to their son. How was she going to explain this? "When... when I got that call, I was so terrified. All I could think was, 'Oh, God, not again.' Because it was almost exactly the same as... as last time." She drew in a stuttered breath. "I know how it sounds, but I... I said that if He would let you live, I'd take care of you, and I wouldn't let anything happen to you. I know that's impossible to do, but I was desperate. And I just feel like I haven't been doing that good of a job." The final part came out in a rushed breath, and when she was finished, she slumped back in the chair and closed her eyes tightly to keep the tears from falling.

He ran a hand over his hair and started to pace, not knowing what to say or how to react to what she'd just said.

When he didn't say anything, she opened her eyes and stood up, careful not to disturb the baby. "I, uh, I should go... in there." She started to walk past him to go into the bedroom.

He grabbed her arm. "No. Don't go. Take care of the baby. I'll leave."

She looked down at his hand. "I'm sorry... but you asked me. And it's the truth. I'm... trying to get through it, but lately... it's almost like it's haunting me. I don't really expect you to understand..."

"Why?"

"Because. It wasn't me in that hospital bed. It wasn't y-you who said those things."

He released her arm, but before she got to the door he said, "What do you think I did when you were missing?"

She stopped at the door and stared at him.

He refused to look at her, turning instead toward the crib.

"What?"

He studied his hands. "When Jo...took you from me...what the hell do you think I did? I damn near lost my mind."

"You..." She leaned heavily against the wall and rested her head there. Of all the things they had talked about, they had rarely touched on her abduction. And even when they did, they never got far before the subject was quickly changed to a lighter topic.

"Yeah, me. Surprise."

"Bobby... I don't really know wh-what to say. We... never talked about it. I didn't know."

"I didn't...want you to know."

"Know what? That you cared about me? That you were worried?"

He shook his head. "That I came close to the breaking point without you around?"

She stayed where she was for a few more moments, then she walked over to the crib and laid the baby in it carefully.

He didn't move, refusing to look at her, afraid of what she would see in his eyes.

Silently she took his hand and led him into the bedroom, not meeting his eyes. She laid down at the head of the bed, then waited for him to join her. When he was by her again, she reached out and laid her hand on his thigh. "It was... terrifying, Bobby." She swallowed thickly, not believing that she was finally actually opening up about it. Sure, she had talked to the therapist, but it was almost as though someone else was talking. Not her. "But... that wasn't the worst part."

He could not suppress the shudder in his body as she talked.

"It was so strange." She leaned forward and rested her head in her hands. "The things that were going through my mind... I wasn't... All I could think of was my nephew... and the possibility that I'd never see you again."

He quietly said, "I...never knew I could feel terror."

"I didn't, either. Not like that." Her hand tightened on his thigh.

"The not knowing...that was the worst...and then, when we found you, and you started to withdraw from me...that was almost worse."

"I was scared, Bobby," she whispered. "I didn't feel like I was... myself anymore. And if I couldn't even feel like that, I thought there was no way you could, either."

"I could what? Feel scared? I am human, you know."

"No. Feel like I was the same person."

"I know you think I can, but I really can't get into your head, Alex."

"I wouldn't want you to go in there," she whispered. She turned and eased herself into his arms, hugging him tightly. "I... don't remember... a lot of when they found me. But you know what I _do_ remember?"

"What?"

"I remember waking up... and you were there."

He nodded. "I made sure I was."

"You... have no idea how much... that touched me."

"Did you think I wouldn't...be worried...or relieved?"

"I was just glad that you were there." She chose her next words carefully. "I felt... safer."

"I always protected you. And then you went missing, and it turned out to be my fault...I have never forgiven myself for that."

"Bobby, it _wasn't_ your fault. She caught me off guard. I should've been more careful... more vigilant."

"No. It _was_ my fault. The only reason you were targeted was to punish me...for being everything to her father that she wanted to be."

She hugged him tighter, her arms winding around his neck. "But you didn't do it," she muttered, burying her face in his neck. "She did."

"It was still my fault," he murmured, starting to withdraw from her.

"No, it wasn't, Bobby!" She wasn't about to let him withdraw. Not when they were so close. "Saying this was your fault... would be like saying that it was my fault for letting it happen in the first place."

He shook his head. She didn't get it and he wasn't inclined to explain.

"Bobby, please," she pleaded in a low voice. "Talk to me. I need you to talk to me."

She didn't know what to do. Even now, a year and a half later, he was blaming himself for something that was out of his control. And as much as she wanted to, she didn't know what to do or say to reassure him, to convince him that it wasn't his fault. But then, once he had it in his mind that something was his fault, it was a next to impossible challenge to convince him otherwise. And that fact deeply disturbed her. She didn't blame him. She never had. She knew that it wasn't his fault that his mentor's daughter was so desperate for her father's attention that she would go to the lengths of kidnapping, mutilating, and murdering numerous women, very nearly including herself.

When he still didn't speak, she carefully lowered herself into his lap and hugged him tightly, her chin resting on his shoulder. With her mouth next to his ear, she whispered, "I don't blame you, baby. I never, ever did."

Finally, he said, "That doesn't change the fact that it was."

She rested her forehead against his temple. "I can't change what you think. I've learned not to even try. But Bobby..." She raised her head and gently turned his so that their eyes met. "I don't blame you," she said slowly and clearly. "I blame the person who locked me in that room. Who held a knife to me and wanted me to scream. That wasn't you."

He shook his head, frustrated. "No, that wasn't me. And you are right to blame her. I'm not saying I forced her to do what she did. But she chose you as a victim because of me. That's why I feel guilty. That's why it's my fault."

She pulled his head against her shoulder and held him. "Bobby... Bobby..." She was at a loss for words. He was convinced that this was his burden to carry, and she didn't know how to make him see otherwise. Slowly her hand began to knead his back as she breathed softly against his skin.

He buried his face deeper into her shoulder and softly groaned. His hand slid into her shirt and he caressed soft skin, craving contact with her. "I...I know what you're thinking, but I can't help how I feel. Just...please...just...love me..."

"You know I love you, baby," she whispered back, sliding her hand under his shirt and pulling him closer to her. "So much."

"Try not to judge," he whispered.

"I won't." His skin felt so good under her fingertips, and she exhaled deeply. "I won't."

He closed his eyes and pressed a kiss into her shoulder.

Her still sore body protested, and she slowly pulled away and settled back against the pillows, pulling him along to lay beside her. "I love you," she murmured, resting her head against his and sliding her hand under his shirt again.

"You know...that I love you, too...don't you?"

She smiled and held her hand to his cheek. "Yes," was all she said.

That was all he needed to hear. "I am sorry...that I'm so difficult..."

"It's okay," she soothed, snuggling closer to him. "I've been pretty damn difficult myself lately."

"You've been pregnant. I hardly have that excuse. Besides, it's a chronic state with me. I grew up being difficult."

"You weren't difficult as a child. I'll bet you were a sweet, kind and funny child, and no one was willing to see that."

"I suppose I was...until around the age of seven. Then, everything changed."

Seven... When she was seven, she was falling down and skinning her knees, and trying to do everything her brothers were doing. When he was seven, he was being beaten and treated like he wasn't even human. She was hiding under her bed to play hide and seek. He was hiding under his bed to escape another beating. She unconsciously pulled him closer and let out a thoughtful breath.

He sought her soft skin once more and he found himself able to settle, in spite of the memories that assaulted him. He concentrated on the soft skin beneath his hand and he drew in a deep breath which he slowly released. Turning his head toward her, he softly kissed her jaw, and his tongue trailed along the path of the kisses. God...she tasted good...

She inhaled sharply and buried her hands in his hair, pulling his head up to hers. Closing her eyes, she claimed his mouth with hers. But when she tried to deepen the kiss, a loud, demanding wail came through the baby monitor, and she groaned.

"Stay here," he murmured. Getting up, he left the room and went into the nursery. "Hey, what's all the noise for?"

He picked the baby up and cuddled him against his chest. "Are you lonely? I can understand that. It happens when Mommy leaves a room."

He patted Ben's back, calming and comforting him. "But you get used to it. It doesn't ever get any easier, but you adjust. And she'll never go far. Neither will I. So you can go back to sleep, little man. Everything is all right."

Alex heard every one of her partner's words through the baby monitor, and she picked up Bobby's pillow and gripped it tightly to her, until she had the actual man in her arms again.

Once the baby was sleeping again, he returned to the bedroom and slid into the bed. "Now...where were you?"

She pushed his pillow aside and welcomed him back into her arms. "He's got your timing already," she murmured, gently nipping at his earlobe.

With a groan he sought her mouth, needing desperately to find reassurance, not of her love, but of her passion for him.

After a few moments, she gripped his shoulders and kissed his forehead. "Bobby," she whispered breathlessly. "I want you. I do. But I can't..."

He shook his head. "I know. I..." he trailed off, breathing deeply to calm himself. "I...I'm sorry. I...didn't mean..." How could he be so thoughtless? Of course she couldn't...she had just given birth. "I'm sorry, Alex."

Before she could stop him, he got up and left the room.

In the living room, he paced for a while, forcing himself to calm before he laid down on the couch. _Stupid_...

She stared at the door for a minute, then pushed herself out of the bed. She found him laying on the couch in the living room, and she approached him, resting one hand on his arm. "Bobby, you weren't being thoughtless," she murmured, squeezing his arm. "We just... have to wait a couple of weeks. I want you, believe me. This isn't hard just for you."

"I..." he sighed softly. "I know you can't. I was being thoughtless. Look, I'm just going to stay out here. It's...safer that way."

She knelt down beside him and rested her forehead against his. "For all of these problems, it was worth it," she whispered. "And that reason has your eyes, your nose..." She touched her nose to his.

"I know he's worth it. I just can't trust myself, that's all."

"Six weeks," she murmured, resting her arm on the couch by his head. "It'll be gone before you know it."

"Sleeping on the couch is going to get very old."

She frowned. "I really don't want you to sleep on the couch," she complained.

"It's not my idea of a fun time either. But...it's better this way. Believe me."

"You know..." She trailed her fingertips along his side, pausing at the waist of his pants. "There _are_ other things we can do." Then she pushed herself to her feet, pausing only to give him a light kiss. "I'll be in the bedroom, if you change your mind, okay?"

"You mean if I find myself not wanting you?"

She turned, a challenging glint in her eye. "No. Just if you want to find out what those other things are."

He pushed himself onto his elbows. "What other things?"

Her small smirk turned into a full blown grin. "Like I said," she said casually as she began walking backwards toward the hallway. "Anytime you want to find out."

Other things? Curiosity got the better of his sense and he bolted off the couch, trotting after her into the bedroom. "Alex?"

She grinned and detoured from the bedroom, instead heading into the bathroom. Knowing that he was right behind her, she grabbed the hem of her shirt and pulled it over her head. Then she reached into the shower and turned on the water.

He heard the shower and stood in the middle of the bedroom, confused. Now what?

She shimmied out of her pants and underwear, then stepped under the hot, refreshing stream of water.

He sat down on the bed, eyes darting toward the closed bathroom door as he fought down the images of what was happening on the other side of it.

She was surprised that he wasn't already in the shower with her, and she called, "Bobby? You said you wanted to know."

He arched his eyebrows at the invitation and needed no further encouragement. After shedding his clothes, he slipped into the steamy room and pushed the edge of the curtain aside, peering into the shower. He gasped softly at the view and groaned. "You're killing me," he whispered, not sure she could hear him over the noise of the water and not caring.

She smiled and pulled him under the water with her. "I know. And I'm going to fix it," she murmured as she took a sudsy washcloth and started moving it over him.

As she moved the cloth over his body, she dropped soft kisses along his chest. "You are so amazing," she whispered, resting her head against his chest.

He was quickly becoming overwhelmed by her attention. He smiled at her comment. "You are the amazing one," he said, thoroughly enjoying her ministrations.

She shook her head wordlessly, and the corner of her mouth quirked up in a smile as her hand drifted lower.

He gasped softly. "Al-Alex..."

She ignored his gasp and trailed soft kisses down the center of his chest.

"Oh...my..." he gasped again, his entire body coming to life as she continued caressing him.

She smirked, proud of the effect her touch had on him. Her hand took on a mind of its own, and she gently pushed him against the wall of the shower.

He closed his eyes, and his hands caressed her wet skin, further exciting his body and shutting down his mind completely. In the place of active thought was simply feeling.

She groaned softly as her grip tightened on him, and she felt his body shudder in response. "Just let go," she whispered, gently bringing him to the edge.

He needed no further coaxing and his entire body shuddered again with his release. He groaned deeply and his knees buckled. He was barely able to catch himself, and he leaned back against the wall, eyes still closed, his breathing slowly coming back under control.

She leaned against the wall beside him, her hand resting on his back. "That work?" she finally whispered.

"Oh, God, yes..." he managed. "Thank you..." He opened an eye with effort. "You...are you all right?"

She nodded and bent down to kiss his forehead. "I'm glad you feel better."

"That beats the hell out of sleeping on the couch," he replied.

She grinned. "I'm sure it does. Are you going to be able to sleep in the bed tonight?"

"Oh, yes."

"Good." She wrapped her hands around his arm and gently pulled him to his feet. "I told you I'd take care of you."

"I would like to return the favor."

She gave him a strange look.

He captured her mouth with his and let his hands stray over her body with purpose, quickly and expertly drawing her to the same edge he had just visited.

She gasped and grabbed his shoulders, gripping them as tightly as she could as he teased her to the edge. Throwing her head back, she ground out, "Bobby..."

He caught her in his arms as he coaxed her over the edge, softly kissing her as he eased her back to him. "I love you so much," he murmured against her mouth.

Through her haze, she hugged him and whispered, "I love you, too."

He held her until she recovered, and then he stepped from the shower, toweled off and went into the bedroom. After donning a pair of boxers, he slid into the bed. When she joined him, he pulled her against his chest. "You are better to me than I deserve, baby. Thank you." He kissed her and added, "You've kept your promise to God, Alex. You have always taken care of me. Always."

She curled into him and sighed quietly, her fingers playing lightly with the damp hairs on his broad chest. "I... hope so. I always try, because I love you."

"You more than try. If you didn't take care of me, I would be spending the next six weeks, miserable, sleeping on the couch."

"Well... I'm pretty sure I had my own agenda there, baby."

"That's only fair. Keep up this...creative approach, and I'll bet I'll almost be sorry to see the end of six weeks." He kissed her. "Almost, but not quite."

She returned the kiss. "I think I can figure out something," she assured him, draping one protective arm over his chest as she slid into sleep.

TBC...

A/N: The next chapter is a Mike Carolyn Kiska scene. And somebody was asking us in the last chapter if they had lost their mind. Well, no. Bobby and Alex did get married, but we didn't show the wedding. If enough people request it, we will do a oneshot showing the wedding. Hope ya'll enjoyed this chapter, and here's hoping we get some BAness! Come on, my fellow BA people! BA!


	21. It's Only The Wind

Okay, the last chapter was straight up BA, and now this chapter is MC. So enjoy everyone, and please remember to review!

Disclaimer: Not ours!

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Carolyn was startled out of sleep by her daughter's cries, and through the fog of sleep, she rolled out of Mike's arms and stumbled over to the crib. "What's wrong, baby girl?" she murmured, reaching down into the crib to pick up her daughter. But when her hands came into contact with Kiska's burning skin, all traces of sleep disappeared. "What the...?" Kiska continued to cry, and Carolyn lifted her out of the crib and held her to her shoulder. "Shh, shh," she murmured, patting the baby's back.

Holding their daughter to her chest, she sat down on the bed and reached over, gently pushing Mike's shoulder. "Mike, wake up, baby," she murmured anxiously.

Mike snorted and groaned. "What?"

"The baby's got a fever." She ran her hand over Kiska's damp curls.

He reached over and touched the baby's head. "You want to take her to the hospital?"

She hugged the little girl close, rocking her as she said, "No. She's probably got the flu. It's been going around."

"And you woke me up why? To share in the moment?"

At Mike's voice, Kiska turned in Carolyn's arms with a stuttered sob. "Da!" Carolyn looked at him as the baby struggled against her, and she set her on the bed between herself and Mike.

He drew her to him and laid back. "Sleep it off, baby."

Carolyn settled down beside him and propped her head up with her hand, running a hand over Kiska's back. "Poor baby," she murmured as Kiska put her hand in her mouth and continued to cry as she sought out contact with her daddy with her free hand.

Mike let her stay close to him and asked, "Don't you have some baby Tylenol or something stashed around here someplace?"

She thought for a moment and slid off of the bed. "I think we have some in the bathroom," she said as she walked out of the room.

A few minutes later, she returned with the baby Tylenol and a bottle of juice. Sitting on the bed again, she handed the medicine to Mike. "Here. She'll probably take it better if you give it to her."

"Me? What do I know about this?"

She took the bottle from him and opened it, carefully pouring a measured amount into the small cup. "Here," she said, handing the cup to him.

He sat up and held the cup to the baby's lips. "Here you go, baby. Drink it up."

She pushed his hand away and rubbed her eyes. "No, Da."

He brought the cup back. "Yes, Kitkat."

She shook her head and pursed her lips together, then turned against Mike's chest, coughing.

"Cone on, baby. This will make you feel better."

Carolyn decided to try. "Come here, Kat," she murmured, lifting the baby into her own lap and taking the cup from Mike. "Take it for Mommy."

Kiska continued to shake her head. "No."

Carolyn looked at Mike helplessly. Then she tried again. "Come on, Kat. It tastes good."

Mike gave it one more try. "If you drink it, we can go see the baby."

Cautiously, Kiska peered up from Carolyn's shoulder. "'E-En?" she stuttered, rubbing her eyes.

"Yeah, baby Ben." He ran with it. "And Aunt Alex...and Uncle Bobby...Just take your medicine..."

Carolyn watched him with a small smile, then offered the cup to their daughter. With a little surprise and a lot of relief, she watched as Kiska drank the purple liquid, making a face as she held her arms out to Mike.

Mike took her into his arms and hugged her. "Good girl."

Carolyn breathed a sigh of relief, handing Mike the bottle as she stood up and carried the medicine back into the bathroom.

He sat down on the bed and handed the bottle to the baby. When Carolyn came back into the room, he asked, "Uh, how are we going to explain bringing our sick kid over to see their newborn? Or better yet...can we put her off for a couple of days until she's not contagious? I don't even want to think what they'd do to me if we got Ben sick."

"Yeah, we can wait," she murmured, sitting down beside him on the bed. She watched as Kiska snuggled down into Mike's arms, rubbing her dark eyes as she took the bottle from him. Then she met his eyes. "But that's good to know."

"That we can use Ben as bribery for her? Please don't tell his parents...well, his dad anyway. He'll hurt me."

She laughed a little. "He might."

"There's no might about it, honey. He will...unless..."

"Unless what?"

"Once he sees how much she likes the baby...then it might not be so bad. As long as we don't bring her over at three in the morning and make Ben sick."

She snuggled close to him and rested her head on his shoulder, laying a gentle hand on Kiska's stomach. "The first part is good. The second part? Yeah, Bobby might hurt you for that."

"Ya think?"

She thought for a moment. "No, Bobby wouldn't hurt you. There wouldn't be anything left to hurt, because Alex would get to you first."

"Now she scares me."

"She's a mom."

"No, she is just plain scary. If she'd had her gun with her, I swear she would have shot me when I knocked the crap out of Bobby in the hospital."

"Maybe."

"Maybe? Did you see the blood in her eyes?"

"No. I saw a protective partner, and a woman in love." She laid down and rested her head on the pillows.

"Exactly, and I'd just tried to kill her boyfriend."

"You weren't trying to kill him. You were trying to keep him from killing himself."

He looked down at the baby in his arms. "He hit a really rough patch for awhile. I was worried. Really worried." He kissed the sleeping baby's warm head.

"I know you were, baby. That's what makes you such a great friend... and a great dad."

"I still feel bad about it."

She ran her hand in slow circles over his back. "But you kept him from doing something really stupid, and probably saved his life."

"Can I ask you something?"

"What's that?"

"I know you decided to stay in New York because of me. But you came back because of him, didn't you?"

"No." She propped her head up with her hand. "I told you, Mike. I had already decided to come back, but when I heard that he was in the accident, I came back sooner than I planned."

"Why?"

Sighing softly, she murmured, "You really want to know, don't you?"

"I'm okay with it, you know."

She reached behind her neck and unclasped the necklace, tucking it into his free hand and closing his fist around it. "I was sitting in the nursery one day, and I looked down and saw this... And I realized just how much I missed you... and needed you."

"So why'd you come back sooner than you planned?"

"Because of the accident. I was worried, and like I told you before, all I knew at first was that a Major Case detective was involved in a bad accident. It wasn't until right before I saw you that I found out it was Bobby."

"Relieved?"

She was quiet for a moment. "At first," she admitted reluctantly. "But then I was afraid for him."

He studied the baby in his arms. "What happened to you? You've...changed."

Now she was confused. "What do you mean?"

He sighed. "I'm not sure. You're just...different. You used to have this huge heart, with room for everyone. Now...now you seem to have locked every one out except for me and Kitkat. I don't understand it."

Her cheeks heated, and she didn't know how to respond to what he was saying. Sure, she wasn't as close to her friends as she wanted to be, but it wasn't for lack of trying. And even now, there were times where she didn't feel as though she even deserved the man sitting beside her and holding their daughter. Sure, she had probably changed... but had she really changed so much that he thought she was trying to shut out everyone she had ever loved?

"Did I misread you all that time, Carolyn? Did you ever really care about Alex, or Bobby, or anyone else? Maybe it's all me."

She pushed herself up in the bed and moved to the edge of the bed. "That... that was a low blow, Logan," she whispered, burying her hand in her hair.

"Answer me," he softly urged.

"Damn it, of course I cared about them, and you! I screwed up, Mike. But at least I came back to own up to it and tried to make it right."

He sighed softly and got to his feet. Gently he laid the baby in the crib. "I'm trying to get past it, you know. I'm not as forgiving as some people. It was bad enough that you hurt me, but I don't have many good friends, and I get protective of the few I do have." He turned to look at her. "Do you know how many second chances I give? None. But I made an exception for you, because I really do love you. But I need you to find your heart, Carolyn. I'm not the whole world and I have no desire to be it."

"Mike..." She struggled with herself for a minute. "I appreciate you giving me a second chance. More than you know. When I left... You have know idea how hard it was, and I never expected you to. Because as much as I love you, I wouldn't want you... to feel that uncertainty, that feeling of no matter what you choose, it's wrong. And as hard as I'm working in therapy, I still feel like I'm walking around on eggshells with you... and everyone else. The only person that I don't feel that around is our daughter." She looked toward the crib. "You don't know... She kept me going. I always thought I was strong... but after that..." She couldn't even describe the feelings of displacement and loss. "I just..." She stood up and started pacing in an attempt to organize her thoughts.

He watched her. "I feel uncertain, too. I feel like...all I have to do is say the wrong thing, and you'll take off again. So most of the time, I keep my thoughts to myself."

She stopped and stared at him. Then she began laughing softly. "Some couple we are. Both afraid that at the drop of the hat, the other's going to take off."

He shook his head. "Where am I gonna go? Why would you think I'll leave?"

"I don't know. It's just that... little irrational fear."

"Have you ever known me to run away from anything?"

She sat down heavily on the bed. "I thought you would for a while," she admitted softly. "But I'm glad you didn't."

"I've never run away from anything. How do you think I ended up on Staten Island? Why do you think there was a friggin' riot in a fire station? I don't back down and I don't run away."

She had known about that, and the mention of it made her blood boil. But she quickly tamped it down. "Mike, for the last ten months, I have tried everything I knew to show you I wasn't going to take off again. I screwed up once, and I'm still paying for it. But what bothers me is that you don't trust me."

She stood up and started pacing again. "I could never, ever leave and go anywhere without our daughter. And I'll tell you right here, right now, Logan." She straightened up and pointed to the crib with fire in her eyes. "I will never keep her away from you. Ever."

He leaned back on the bed. He had learned long ago never to take things at face value. "Sorry if I upset you," he said, withdrawing from the fight. "Come on over here and let's go back to bed."

She didn't move. "Mike, I need to know you believe me."

How could he convince her that he believed her when he wasn't certain that he did. "What do you want me to say? Okay, you won't keep her away from me." He swallowed a bitterness that stemmed from a memory. A friend of his had been in a similar situation with a woman who had made the same passionate promise. When the romance went sour, she had taken off with his son, and in his despair, his friend had taken his own life. He had trouble believing any woman after that. And actions spoke louder than words. "I believe you, okay. I think you mean it." ..._today_, he added in his mind.

She shook her head. "Mike... What can I do? I see it in your eyes, and I don't like it. I'm not going to take her anywhere. I know what it's like to go through that hell, and I won't put you through that, even if we weren't together."

He sighed. "There is nothing you can do, Carolyn. Time heals all wounds, and I'm still healing. I just need time."

She studied him for a moment. "Okay." Then she walked to the other side of the bed and sat down with a heavy heart.

"I'm sorry," he murmured. "If you want to banish me to the couch, I'll understand."

"It's your bed, too," she said dully, stretching out on the bed and resting her head on the pillow. "Stay."

"That's never mattered to a pissed off woman before."

"I'm not pissed off. I'm just hurt and tired. I'll get over it."

He bit his lip. "I really don't want to hurt you. Forgive me for being gun-shy. I'm trying."

"I know. I'm dealing with the same thing." She tucked her arm under her head and watched the crib where their daughter was sleeping.

He tucked his arms beneath his head and watched the ceiling. "I guess real relationships are hard to maintain. Sometimes I wonder if the superficial ones are better. Then I look at you and I realize, they're not. I see what Bobby and Alex have, and I think, maybe it is worth it."

Without even thinking, she whispered, "It is to me."

"Then it's worth a shot, because it is to me, too."

She turned over onto her opposite side slowly, so she could see him. "It's always been worth it to me, when it comes to you. I... I love you."

"More than you did a year ago?"

"Yes, for a lot of reasons."

He wasn't sure he wanted to know, so he kept silent. He sighed, no longer tired. "I'm gonna get a sandwich. You want something?"

"No." Now she didn't know what had set him off. She had just said the truth. And his reaction bothered her.

He got up from the bed and headed out of the room. He hated talking about emotions and even more, he hated analyzing his feelings. Food he understood.

In the crib, Kiska began fussing again, and she stood up and walked over to the crib. Picking up the little girl, she gently rocked her and murmured, "I know, baby girl." The little girl's skin was still warm to her touch, and she continued to rock her, then sat back down on the bed. "I don't know what to do, Kat," she murmured as she leaned back against the pillows and rested the baby against her raised legs.

Kiska still wouldn't settle, so Carolyn lifted her against her chest and swung her legs over the side of the bed and stood up, slowly walking around the room. It had been a long time since she had done this, but she went ahead and cleared her throat, then began singing in a soft, lilting voice.

_I remember as a child _

_On a dark and stormy night _

_I heard the screen door slam _

_And I was overcome with fright _

_So afraid that something bad _

_Was trying to get in _

_Then Mama came to comfort me _

_And said_

_It's only the wind, and nothing more _

_Not the end of the world knocking at the door _

_So close your eyes and dream again _

_Believe me, it's only the wind_

She hadn't done this in a long time, and she felt guilty. Kiska always seemed to enjoy when she sang, especially when she sang Kokomo, or this song.

She continued to pace the carpeted floor, unaware of anything but the little girl cradled in her arms. In her mind, one thing was certain. No matter what happened between her and Mike, she would have their little girl. A piece of them that was proof of everything she had ever done right in her life.

_Every time I've had to face _

_A bitter storm of life _

_Those words of comfort _

_Were my shelter in the night _

_But tonight I don't believe _

_I'm able to pretend _

_The storm that you and I are up against _

_Is only the wind_

Slowly she calmed down, and Kiska began to relax against her. "Don't worry, Kat," she murmured, kissing her daughter's damp curls. "I love your daddy, and I'm going to try my hardest to make it work. But no matter what, we'll both be here for you. I promise you that."

_Youre here in my arms _

_And you're just about to sleep _

_There's nothing anyone can do _

_To take you away from me, no _

_Now our world is changing _

_And I'm frightened once again _

_What I wouldn't give _

_If I could be convinced_

_It's only the wind, and nothing more _

_Not the end of my world walking out the door _

_I wish that I could dream again _

_Believing it's only the wind_

_Oh, and nothing more _

_Not the end of my world walking out the door _

_I wish that I could dream again _

_Believing it's only the wind_

Mike came into the bedroom with a glass of water, which he handed to her as he gently took Kiska from Carolyn. "I thought you might be thirsty."

He settled the baby against his shoulder, gently bouncing her and patting her back.

"Thanks," she murmured, sitting down on the foot of the bed.

As she sipped the water, she studied Mike carefully as he held their child. "You're good with her, Mike," she said quietly, fingering the cup she held in her hand.

"I do my best," he replied.

"And she adores you."

"The feeling is mutual."

The corner of her mouth quirked in a tired smile, and she rose to her feet. "I'm... not really tired. I think I'll go watch T.V. or something." She started to walk out of the room.

He touched her arm. "Hey...I'm sorry. I really didn't mean to upset you."

She nodded and started to reach for their daughter, but stopped, dropping her arms to her sides. "Just like I didn't mean to hurt you. But it's like you said: Time heals all wounds."

"So you're gonna be pissed at me until you heal..."

"I'm not pissed," she repeated, resting a hand on his arm. "I'm frustrated with myself, but that's not you." She shifted gears in her mind. "Do you want me to take her? You're probably tired."

He shrugged. "I'm not really tired but if you want her, that's fine."

She shook her head. "You know how she is. She'll probably just fuss until she gets her way." She looked back at the bed, then at the door. Another damn choice.

"Just take her, Carolyn."

She watched him, then gently pulled him to the bed. After he was situated with the baby, she sat down Indian style on the bed next to him. Exhaling deeply, she leaned forward and rested her elbows on her knees. "What do you think she's going to be like?" she asked quietly.

"I think she's going to be hell on wheels."

That got a smile from her. "She's your daughter."

"Exactly."

"And God knows I've never been the calmest person."

"Your fire and my sense...we're in trouble."

"Exactly." She was relaxing, even if she was still slightly aggravated. "She's going to be amazing."

"I think so, too. Maybe the calming influences in her life will have an effect and she'll actually turn out okay."

"You mean Bobby, don't you?"

"Yeah...calm and gentle. I try to be like that, but he doesn't have to try. That's just the way he is."

She nodded. "Yeah."

"Haven't you ever noticed how calm she is around him?"

"Of course I do. She gets the same way around you. I guess those rumors on the women's bathroom walls weren't lying," she said with a soft laugh.

He raised an eyebrow. "What rumors?"

She playfully squeezed his shoulder. "I'm kidding. But you know the reputations you two have for being ladies men."

He grinned. "Those are hard-earned reputations, believe me."

"I'm sure they were," she replied with a grin of her own.

"You can actually attest to both. What do you think?"

"Well... you two are both hardheaded, stubborn, even crazy sometimes." She dared to reach out and lay a hand on him. "You both can be dumb-asses, insecure, and a little on the rough side."

"But?"

She looked at him in fake shock. "There was one?"

He frowned and gave her a suspicious look. "No buts, huh? So why do you love us?"

She slid an arm around him and pulled him close. "Well," she started, laying her head on his shoulder. "You're gorgeous, sweet, funny, generous, loyal, and caring."

"That's it?"

She grinned. "There's more, but I think the best reason I can think of is right there in your arms."

"You love me because you had my kid?"

"I love you more than I ever thought I could. And you gave me something that's better than anything you can wrap or stick in a stocking." Her hand ran over soft curls, and she brushed her lips against his cheek. "There are more reasons than I can count why I love you, but that's a pretty big and perfect one right there."

He sighed, hating that he felt any doubts. But if she loved him so much, how could she have left, and what was going to make her stay now, if things got rough? He wished he felt more secure, but he couldn't make the lingering doubt go away, no matter how much he wanted it to.

She could feel his uncertainty, and she held him tighter. "You know something?"

"What?"

She rested her chin on his shoulder, her hand wandering over to his side. "I love you when you get into bed with your cold feet. I love when you try to act tough, but inside you're really scared. I love how you make your sandwiches, and I love how you try to sing in the shower."

He still wasn't sure what had changed, since he'd always done those things. He didn't doubt that she loved him. but he did wonder about her commitment. "I...guess I'm more tired than I thought," he muttered, kissing the baby's warm head and carrying her to the crib, where he laid her down. Returning to the bed, he slid under the sheet and said, "Good night, Carolyn."

She leaned over and kissed his cheek, then slid out of the bed. "Night, Mike."

He grunted softly and tucked his arm under his head, closing his eyes.

She stood in the door for several moments, watching his chest rise and fall. "It's only the wind, Mike," she finally said softly. Then she turned and walked out of the room, leaving Mike alone with his thoughts.

TBC...

A/N: Well, we hoped ya'll enjoyed this chapter! We don't own the Billy Dean song, Only The Wind. And those of you who've heard it know that the final verse has been changed slightly. I'm including the actual verse after this little A/N for those of you who want it. The story is winding down, and we'll be finished writing it within the next few days, hopefully. Which means with a little luck, the last chapter will be posted sometime next week. Please review, and happy reading!

_I can hear you downstairs_

_And you're just about to leave_

_There's nothing I can do_

_To keep you here with me, no_

_Now the screen door's slamming _

_And I'm frightened once again_

_What I wouldn't give if I could be convinced_

_It's only the wind_


	22. Sounds Of Home

Update time again! Fewer people have been reading and reviewing, so I thought I'd rattle some cages by ending this chapter on a cliffhanger! Mwahahahaha! (looks around nervously for delirious' revving engines) Enjoy, everybody, and please remember to review!

Disclaimer: Not ours!

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An hour later, Carolyn stood in the door of the nursery, watching Bobby with his newborn son. After several minutes, she finally spoke up. "Hi."

He looked up. "Oh, hi, Carolyn. When did you get here? Alex is sleeping."

"I just got here. Uh, can I come in?"

"Sure."

She walked into the nursery, smiling at baby Ben. "He's precious."

"Thanks," he smiled, looking at the little boy in his arms.

"Kiska was a little smaller than him. She's gotten so big..."

"Yes, she has."

"Mike's with her. She got sick last night, and Mike and I have been a little... off. So I thought I'd come over and see this little guy."

His brow furrowed in concern. "Is she all right?"

"Yeah, after we got a little medicine in her. Had to bribe her, too. She is her father's child."

He laughed softly. "He's easy to bribe."

She leaned over and studied the baby. "Well, we had to bribe her with a visit to Ben."

He raised an eyebrow. "Really? And that worked?"

She laughed softly. "Yes. And only after that did it occur to us that we'd have to wait a few days to bring her."

"Good luck with that. Kids don't like to wait. Neither does Mike."

She smiled, but it faded as the memories of the previous night returned. Sighing quietly, she asked, "Bobby... can we talk?"

"Uh, sure." He gave the baby a gentle kiss and laid him in his crib. "Let's go out into the living room."

She waited for him to put the baby down, then she walked into the living room, finding a seat on the couch.

He sat beside her. "What's up?"

She leaned back against the couch and rubbed her temple. "Mike and I... are still having problems."

"What kind of problems?"

"He thinks I'm going to leave, and I'm pretty sure he thinks I'm going to take his daughter from him."

"Why would he think that?"

"Because I left once."

"And in his mind nothing has really changed that would keep you here if things got rough again."

She leaned forward on the couch. "He's wrong, and I have no way to show him that."

"He's an idiot."

"I know, but he's my idiot. And as long as he's miserable and on edge, I'm miserable and on edge."

He leaned forward and studied his hands. Turning his head, he looked at her. "What can I do?"

She wiped her eyes with her hands. "I just... need someone to talk to. Someone... who isn't afraid that I'm going to leave if he says what's on his mind."

Sitting back, he folded her into his arms, offering comfort. "Okay...talk to me."

She gladly rested against him. "I feel sometimes... like I'm walking around on eggshells around everyone. I know I screwed up by leaving, but I came back." She thought for a moment. "Bobby, you know that... even though we couldn't work... I still care about you, right?"

As he did with everything, he gave it some thought. "I admit, at first, I wasn't sure. But now...yes. I know you do."

She nodded and shifted closer to him. "I'm glad. I... didn't mean to ever make you doubt that."

He welcomed contact with her, allowing her to press against his side. "It almost seemed like you...resented me...and I wasn't sure why."

"I didn't mean to make you feel like that. I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize. I understand how hard it was for you to face your demons. I have more than a few of my own, remember?"

"I do." She met his eyes. "Neither you or Mike were any of my demons. No matter what I went through up there, I never stopped caring about you two."

He laughed softly. "Nice to know someone doesn't consider me a demon. But seriously, I know I put off a lot of people and I carry a lot of guilt, but I never felt that your leaving was my fault. I mean, our break up was amicable. And I...never stopped caring. I was worried about you, but it was no longer my place to go after you. If Mike had asked me to, I would have...but he never did. So I assumed something had happened between the two of you. He always refused to discuss it. I did ask."

"I screwed up there. I... got scared. It was one night, and he didn't even _remember_ it. And then... that night happened..."

He sighed heavily. "I really wish you had come to me. And I am sorry I didn't come after you. I should have...but I didn't think I'd be welcome, so I didn't interfere."

"I thought about going to Mike, or you. But I came back to work the day after... and it was almost like everyone could see what I was thinking, and they were all..." She sighed and wiped at her eyes. "I couldn't take it."

"Trauma," he said softly, brushing his fingers across her cheek.

"That's what Olivet says. I just... went home, got on the computer, and found the smallest town I could. And I left."

"Do you have any idea how close I have come to doing the same thing?' he asked with a soft smile.

"When?"

"More than once...but I came closest...last Thanksgiving."

She thought about that statement for a moment, and curiosity finally won out. Quietly, she asked, "Wh- I mean, what happened, if you don't mind talking about it."

He scrubbed his hand over his jaw and across his mouth. "I...was closer to the edge than I have ever come. My...my mother..." Agitation got the better of him at the painful memories and he got to his feet, pacing. "She was in the hospital...undergoing chemo...and hating me for it. She resented the fact that I got called away...for a case...an-and Alex..." He softly groaned and ran a hand over his hair, stopping to rest his head against the wall.

She reached out and laid an understanding hand on his leg, but remained silent.

He closed his eyes, drawing in an uneven breath. "She...hated me then..."

"Alex didn't hate you, Bobby," she murmured.

"You...weren't there, Carolyn. You didn't...see her face...the look in her eyes...how she...challenged me...in front of a suspect...and...and God...she was so cold to me..."

She reached out and pulled him against her, hugging him tightly. "Bobby... she doesn't hate you," she repeated, running her hand over his back. "She didn't leave you then, and she's not going to leave you now."

He buried his face in her shoulder, taking comfort from the contact. "I know she doesn't hate me now...and she'll stay...but back then...no..."

She rested her head against his and sighed deeply. "I know that feeling. Sometimes... I feel like all Mike does is resent me."

He pressed a gentle kiss against the soft skin of her neck, like he used to...and quietly, he said, "He doesn't resent you. He's scared, and a guy like Mike doesn't handle fear very well."

She just sat there against Bobby, her head spinning.

He rested his cheek against the side of her head, and whispered, "Trust me."

"I do."

"Then trust what I'm telling you. He's scared, and I get that. I thought I'd lost her back then, and I almost did."

She groaned softly. "Why do you always have to be the one who makes sense?"

"Because I think so much...about everything." He touched her cheek. "I've missed you."

She tightened her arms around him again. "I missed you, too."

Turning his head toward her, he continued, "I know I have no business saying this, but when you left...I was hurt...I couldn't understand why...I was afraid I had done something..."

"Bobby..." She paused for a moment before reaching out to brush her fingers against his cheek. "You didn't do anything. Neither did Mike. It was... all me. Me."

"I know why...now. But I didn't then. I...wish I had...Things would have been different, for everyone."

"You can't do that, Bobby. Everything would have been much different if I had stuck around, or given up my daughter for adoption, or came back sooner. You can't... you can't keep thinking about what could've been. It will drive you out of your mind. I know."

He laughed softly. "Do you remember who you're talking to, Carolyn?"

"I know who I'm talking to. And you know I'm telling you the truth."

"Because that's how I've lived my life...yes, I know. I also know...you should have come to me...but I don't resent you for what you did. I understand because I've been there. When I ran...I was gone for twelve years..."

She slowly pulled away from him and returned to the couch, resting her head in her hands.

He didn't let her withdraw. He knew that too well. He sat beside her and slipped an arm around her, tipping his face close to hers. "Look at me, sweetheart."

She shook her head, but his hand was insistent, and she found herself looking up into a pair of warm, dark eyes.

"You can't kill what the heart feels. I never stopped loving you...but the way I love you has changed. Mike never stopped loving you, either, but his passion never changed. It just...got scared. I'm not sure how you can get past it, but I know you, and I know you can."

"I just... I want to look at him, and not see that doubt in his eyes that's there now. I would never take our daughter away from him, and it hurts me to know that he's even considered I'm that kind of person. I wouldn't do that. I wouldn't."

"I know. I think he does, too. Did you think that maybe he's more scared that you might take off and not take her with you?"

"I don't know. When we were at the hospital, and I mentioned that the baby would have to settle for me as a playmate, he said, 'Don't take my baby away from me.' I know he was joking, but I really think he thinks I could do that to him."

"I can knock some sense into him if you want me to."

She sighed deeply. "No. I wish I could, though. Sometimes I think that's the only way to get through to him."

He smiled. "Sometimes it is."

She looked around the room and exhaled deeply, resting her chin in her hand. "I-I'm sorry about this. I should be able to get through to him myself."

He raised an eyebrow. "Who told me once that sometimes even the most independent people need the insight of a friend?"

She leaned heavily against him. "I suppose it's easier said than done, huh?"

"Yes, it is."

She ran a hand through her hair, then murmured, "I guess I should be heading home, before Mike thinks I'm gone again." She brushed her lips lightly against his cheek, then hugged him again. "Thanks, Bobby."

He stopped her, gently framing her face with his hands. "I want a promise from you"  
She tipped her head to the side. "About what?"

"If life ever gets overwhelming for you again...if you ever need someone to turn to and you don't know where to go...I want your word...you'll come to me."

She laid her hand against his and nodded. "I came to you now, didn't I? I had to learn the hard way about that." She rested her forehead against his. "I promise, Bobby."

His smile was gentle. "I will come after you if it ever happens again, and I _will_ find you. Don't make me do that."

"I won't. I wouldn't want your wife coming after me for making you go after me."

"Now there's a frightening thought. And if you don't believe me that she came close to hating me back then, just ask her."

She shook her head. "I like to think that I know Alex, and I know she could never hate you. Sure, she might try to hand you a body part from time to time..."

"I got one handed to me then, believe me."

She hugged him again, then rose to her feet. But a thought crossed her mind, and she said, "I was right, wasn't I?"

A puzzled frown crossed his features. "About what?"

"About the labor, when I told you that no matter what she said, it would be worth it." She looked down the hall, and a gentle smile curved her lips.

"Seeing her in that kind of pain was worse than anything she said. But...he's a beautiful boy, just like his mother."

"He is beautiful. And he's going to be trouble, just like his dad," she teased, ruffling his hair affectionately.

He smiled. "Maybe so...but if he takes after his mom he'll be real trouble."

"Oh no... I can see it already..."

"So can I...and it worries me."

Her hand continued to move through his hair. "Hey, Ben's going to be an angel. Look who Kiska's parents are. Now she's going to be trouble."

"In his own way, Mike's a lot like me," he replied.

"You're both great guys. He even told me that if Kiska turns out somewhat calm, it will be because of you."

"Me?"

"Yeah."

"How so?"

"Because you can calm her down, and you don't even have to try."

"Maybe I'm just boring."

"You are not, Bobby. If I remember correctly, you're about the furthest thing from boring."

He smiled. "Well, that hasn't changed..."

She groaned. "I'm sure it hasn't."

He placed a finger under her chin and tipped her face toward his. "Mike is a lucky man. He knows that."

"I'm lucky, too." She leaned forward and wrapped him in another tight hug. "Very lucky."

"Yes, you are," he agreed, returning her hug.

She stayed there for a moment, then leaned her forehead against his. "I should go home and make sure Mike hasn't panicked and called the Pentagon because the baby's sick," she joked.

"I think he'll surprise you."

"He does every day. You do, too." She stood upright, resting her hand on the top of his head. "Thanks for the talk."

He walked her to the door, opening it for her. "Carolyn?"

"What, Bobby?"

He touched her chin again, tipping her face up and softly kissing her. "It's going to be all right. And if Mike doesn't come around soon, just let me know. I'll take care of him."

She rested her hand on his chest, smiling affectionately at him. "I think you're right. And thanks. If he keeps on, I may be forced to do that."

"Hey, I owe him one. Do you want me to take you home?"

"If you want to." She looked past him. "But tell Alex, or leave a note. And make sure the baby monitor's on." She paused and chewed her lip. "Sorry," she apologized. "Old habits, you know?"

He smiled. "I'll be right back."

"Okay."

He found Alex in the nursery, sitting in the rocking chair cradling their son in her arms. He squatted beside the chair. "I'm going to Logan's. I'll be back in a little while."

She looked at him, then leaned forward and kissed him softly. "Okay. I love you. Be careful."

"I'll be fine. I love you, too." He looked at the baby and touched a little cheek, smiling. Then he kissed her, got to his feet and strolled from the room.

"Ready to go?" Carolyn asked when Bobby reappeared in the living room.

"Ready," he answered, following her from the apartment.

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When they walked into the apartment, Carolyn went straight into the bedroom, calling Mike's name softly. "Mike?"

"Hey...you're back."

She gave him an odd look, then reached down to touch their daughter's head lightly. "Of course I'm back."

"Sorry if I pissed you off."

"Mike, what did I tell you? You didn't." She looked down at their daughter, cradled in his arms. "How is she?"

"She seems to be feeling better. How are you?"

"I'm okay. But you have a guest."

"I do?"

"Yeah. Bobby's out there."

He smirked. "Followed you home, huh?"

"Sure did. I went by the supermarket, and there was a kid with a cardboard box."

"And you ended up with Bobby? How'd that work?"

She shrugged. "It's a joke, baby. You know, the cardboard box, littler of critters." Shaking her head, she motioned to the door. "Forget it. Go talk to him."

"Why? Is he having another meltdown? I'm not sure I've recovered from the last one."

"Just go talk to him."

He got to his feet and gently laid the sleeping baby in her arms, kissing her forehead. Then he kissed Carolyn and left the room.

Carolyn settled in the bed with their sleeping daughter cuddled close to her, her heart pounding and her stomach churning.

Bobby walked out of the kitchen with two beers as Mike came down the hall. He handed one to his friend and then smacked him in the back of the head. Mike frowned. "What was that for?"

"For upsetting her, you idiot."

"Hey, don't blame me. I can't predict what's gonna set her off."

Bobby frowned. "Don't make me hurt you, asshole. Which part of 'I don't trust you not to take off on me again' did you think wouldn't upset her?"

Mike balled his fist, but forced himself to calm down when he realized Bobby was right. "I...never said that," he retorted defensively.

"You didn't have to. She got the message loud and clear."

Mike pointed a finger at him. "Don't start telling me how I should feel, and if you start profiling me, I'll deck you."

"Don't threaten me because you're scared."

"Scared? What are you talking about?"

"Drop the macho act, stupid. Try trusting her."

"Oh? Like you trusted Alex?"

"I have always trusted her. It's myself I never had much faith in."

"But I...I'm having a hard time with it...you know? Once burned, twice shy."

"You don't think she regrets it?"

"I'm sure she does, but what is going to stop her from doing the same thing the next time she gets scared, or pissed, or bored?"

"You tell me what keeps Alex from doing the same thing."

"Maybe that ring on your finger."

"Come on, Mike. Be serious. If she got it in her head to go, nothing would keep her from leaving."

Mike's eyes narrowed. "Would you let her?"

"This isn't about Alex and me. Carolyn made a mistake. How long are you going to hold it against her?"

Mike frowned. "Tell me you didn't feel it, too."

Bobby jerked his thumb toward his chest. "I got over it. I forgave her and I'm man enough to give her another chance. You've hurt her enough, Mike. If you can't do it, cut her loose. Don't string her along. That's not fair. You've hurt her enough. She deserves better from you than to use her for sex."

Mike swung without warning, connecting hard with Bobby's mouth. His head snapped back and he went down, but he recovered quickly. He stared at Mike, trembling with anger, but controlling himself, barely. He wiped blood from his chin and growled, "I'm getting damn tired of being your punching bag. You'd better get your head on straight, man, or you're going to lose everything." His eyes narrowed. "And I mean everything."

He headed toward the door. "Bobby..." Mike began.

"Save your breath. I don't want to hear it. You have a burning need to apologize, tell her, not me. She deserves it. And tell her I'm sorry I had to go."

He left, slamming the door a little harder than he intended.

But he didn't go home.

Carolyn heard the door slam, and she rose up off of the bed and began pacing, bouncing Kiska gently in her arms as she began to fuss. She knew better than to go out there, that it would be better for him to come to her. So she continued to pace and mutter patiently to the sobbing infant as she waited.

The door opened and Mike came into the room, not sure what he was feeling. He sat down on the bed and stared at the blood on his knuckles.

Carolyn watched him stare at his knuckles, and she continued rocking the baby. "What did you do?" she asked quietly.

"You don't want to know, trust me."

"Fine. Go get cleaned up. Do... something."

_Do something...you're going to lose everything_... "I-I am very sorry, Carolyn."

That surprised her. She watched him for a moment before sitting down beside him, holding the baby to her shoulder. "What are you talking about, Mike?"

"I've been an ass, and right now, I'm on the verge of losing it all...you, my kid...my best friend...What the hell is wrong with me?"

She didn't say anything. Actions always spoke louder than words. So she slid her free arm around his shoulders and drew him close.

He scrubbed his hand over his head. "He, um, he said to tell you he was sorry he had to leave."

She nodded and hugged him tighter. "Mike..." she whispered against his hair. "Mike, you're not going to lose us." She pressed a gentle kiss to the top of his head.

"You and Kiska...maybe not. I'll try to make it up to you."

"Just be here. And please, _please_ stop doubting me. I know you're afraid. I was too. But I'm not leaving. Because to leave, I'd have to let go of you. And I can't. I won't."

"I don't know why...but I have to trust you. I have nothing else to grasp on to."

Her arm tightened around him protectively. "I'm right here."

He flexed his fist again, his stomach churning at the sight of the blood across his knuckles.

She saw the movement, and she brushed her lips against his forehead, then rose to her feet.

He didn't react, continuing to stare at his hand, not wanting to think about what he'd done but unable to force his thoughts away from it as he cursed his volatile temper.

She carried the baby into the bathroom, picked up a bottle of peroxide and a damp cloth, then walked back into the bathroom. Carefully she sat down and pulled his hand into her lap.

"Don't bother," he said, pulling his hand back. "It's not my blood."

She understood and put the peroxide away, but kept the cloth. Grasping his hand again, she shifted the baby into the crook of her left arm, pulled his hand into her lap again, then began wiping away the blood that had begun to dry.

"He's just gotta push the wrong damn buttons...and keep pushing."

She didn't respond, and when she finished, she kissed his hand, then let go and adjusted their daughter again.

"Damn."

"What now?"

He shook his head. "Forget it. I just...want to try to get some sleep."

"Fine. But it's barely one, and I think I need some air."

Carolyn looked down at the baby, then walked back over to the bed and laid her on his chest. At his questioning eyes, she said, "She's sick, and I'm not going to make it worse. I'll see you later."

"Be careful, will ya?"

She nodded. "I'll be fine." Her face softened, and she leaned down to briefly brush her lips against his.

She gently touched the baby's warm head, studying Mike for a moment. Then she left the room.

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As she walked along the sidewalks, Carolyn shoved her hands into her pockets and hummed softly to herself. All around her, she could hear the sounds of the city. People yelling, car horns honking, and music blaring. The sounds of home.

Wind whipped around her, and she pulled her jacket tighter around herself.

Her mind was preoccupied with thoughts of her daughter and hardheaded partner, and later when she thought back, maybe that's why she stepped off the curb a few seconds too soon. Because she was preoccupied and wasn't paying as much attention as she should have.

The screech of the tires as brakes were slammed reached her ears first, followed by the disturbing thud as the car made contact with her body.

Then complete and utter dark.

TBC...

A/N: Mwahahahah... (ducks flaming shoes and sporks) I know, I know. Cliffie! Review please, people!


	23. More Than A Memory

Hey, everyone! I know it's been a while, but the story was on my computer, and I just made a BIG move. I moved from NC to TN, and even got a job. Yay. Well, we finally got my computer up and running, so here's the next chapter. Oh, and this chapter will probably be confusing. (points at InfinityStar) It was her idea! Enjoy!

Disclaimer: Not ours!

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Her entire body ached as awareness slowly returned, and she groaned softly as she attempted to move. Her throat was raw, and as she took a breath, she remembered the car. _Oh God...am I in the hospital?_ she thought, attempting to force her eyes open. Finally her weary eyes opened, and sunlight greeted her with brutal force. Sun? Was she still on the street?

Glass crunched beneath her as she moved her arm, and she groaned, pushing herself upright. She blinked slowly as she struggled to figure out where she was. The stench of rotten garbage and stale urine reached her nostrils, and the acrid taste of bile reached her mouth. No... it couldn't be... She reached into her pocket, but her keys and pictures weren't there.

Horror swept over her as she realized the zipper of her jeans was undone, and she touched her shirt with trembling hands. It was dark with dried blood, and she touched her nose, feeling dried, crusted blood there. Her chest began heaving as she forced herself to her feet. Her legs were aching as she took an uncertain step, then another.

She finally reached the sidewalk, and the stares of dozens of people walking around her went unnoticed as she continued down the sidewalk. It was all a dream? How could it have been a dream? How...?

Stopping for a minute to gather her bearings, she realized that she was only a few blocks away from Mike's apartment. Mike... Raising a hand to her pounding head, she groaned softly and continued to walk. She had no money for a cab, so she would have to walk, despite the pain that radiated from every part of her body.

Everything was a dream? So that means that Kiska... One hand went to her mouth, while the other rested over her stomach. The contents of her stomach rolled dangerously, but she pushed herself on.

Finally she reached the familiar apartment building, and as an older woman walked out, she caught the door and stumbled inside, finding her way to the elevator. It was empty, and she fell back against the wall as the doors closed. As the elevator moved, she took a minute to study herself.

Her shirt was ripped and had blood smattered all over it. The knees of her jeans had holes, and hot tears spilled down her cheeks. She had worked so hard to deal with this, and now it was happening all over again. "Oh, shit," she moaned, resting her head against the wall. The adrenaline, or whatever the hell was keeping her going was wearing off, and she could feel every ache and pain that she thought had been long gone. With a horrid bitterness, she reached down and zipped her pants up just as the elevator dinged, and the doors opened.

As she stepped out of the elevator, her knee nearly gave out, and she had to swallow a hiss of pain. For a moment, she bent over and rubbed the back of it, careful not to touch the front which looked like raw meat. Once she felt she could keep going and not collapse, she made her way down the hall, until she finally reached the right door.

She lifted her arm, studying her knuckles for a moment before she rapped hesitantly on her partner's door.

Mike heard the quiet rap and set his beer on the coffee table. Crossing the room, he pulled the door open. At first glance, he did not recognize her. Then realization dawned on him and he guided her into the apartment and steered her to the couch. "Oh, my God...Barek, what happened?"

She jumped a little at his touch, and at his use of her last name, nearly broke down completely. She had to remind herself over and over again that the past two years, everything she thought had happened, hadn't. Several moments passed in tense silence, until she realized that he was still waiting for her to answer. Her head hung a little as she studied her bloody hands intently, and she finally said, "I, uh, last night..." She put her hand to her mouth and took a shaky breath. "I was... raped..."

"Last night?" He looked at the clock. "Where have you been...hell, never mind that. Come on. We're going to the hospital."

She didn't answer. Her entire mind was going in a hundred different directions, and she rubbed her sore shoulder tensely.

He grabbed his jacket, draped it over her shoulders and steered her out the door.

She didn't fight him as he led her down to his car and helped her in. Her head was pounding even more, and their surroundings blurred by as he pulled out of the parking lot and drove down the street. Her hand went to her stomach again, and she clenched her eyes shut. She was pregnant... or was she? Confusion was reigning supreme in her mind, and she didn't move until the car finally came to a stop, outside the last place in the world she wanted to be.

He got out, walked around the car and pulled her door open. "Come on."

She reluctantly stood up, not even able to meet his eyes anymore. "I... d-don't know... if I can do this, Mike," she finally whispered.

"Sure you can. I'll stay with you." He shut the door and took her arm. "You can do this."

She stared at his arm as her stomach churned, but she didn't push him away. Her eyes fell to the ground at their feet as he led her along. As they passed through the sliding doors and into the air conditioned hospital, her stomach revolted again, and she swallowed thickly.

Mike was uncertain. His exact standing with his partner as up in the air, but he knew for certain he couldn't leave her, not like this.

They walked up to the nearest nurse, and Carolyn's throat suddenly went dry. Her head pounded, and a voice inside her head screamed, _Get out. Get out!_

Mike leaned toward her. "It's gonna be all right," he murmured to her.

She shook her head. "No, no it's not," she said, her voice little more than a whisper.

"I'll be right here with you."

She was suddenly exhausted, not even bothering to listen to what the nurse and Mike said before the two of them led her to an exam room. Once in the cool, sterile room, the nurse handed Carolyn a hospital issued gown and a brown paper bag. "You can change in the bathroom. Just put those clothes into this bag," she instructed Carolyn.

Carolyn stared blankly at the gown clutched in her shaking hands.

"Is there someone else you'd like here, Barek? I can call for you."

She shook herself out of her stupor. "Uh, no- I mean, if you don't mind...I..." Tears welled up again, and she turned her head and stared at the wall.

"Whatever you want, sweetheart. Anyone who can help me get you through this. Who can I call?"

She peeled off Mike's jacket and set it on the bed. "No, I don't think so."

He felt his anxiety level increase. He knew he had to do this and he wasn't going to back out, but helping her by himself...he was less certain. But he didn't let her see that. "If you're sure..."

She sighed quietly, then said, "I...Could you...could you call Bobby for me? I mean, if he's not busy..."

Bobby... Relief filled him. Yeah... Bobby would know better how to deal with this. He knew they'd broken up in the last week or two, but Carolyn had said it was entirely amicable and they were still friends. "Sure. I'll call him while you change."

She nodded, then walked into the bathroom. As she slowly peeled her clothes off and dumped them into the bag, the blood on them reminded her once again of the entire situation. She finally finished, and as she caught her reflection, she broke down again. She sat down on the floor of the shower and buried her face in her arms, unable to make another move.

Mike closed his phone and began to pace, waiting for her to come out. When she didn't, he finally went to check on her. Knocking on the shower door, he gently eased it open and looked down at her, suddenly filled with an impotent rage toward the bastard who had done this to her. "Hey..." He squatted at the edge of the shower. "Come on, sweetheart. Bobby's on his way. He'll be here in ten." He held out his hand. "Let's go sit on the stretcher instead of the floor, okay?"

She didn't answer. Instead, she just took his hand and allowed him to guide her back to the bed. She sat down and rested her head in her hands.

At a loss over what to do, he leaned against the stretcher and rubbed her back, glancing toward the door and wishing Bobby would get there. He had no idea how to deal with this, or with the anger.

Carolyn wasn't sure how much time had passed, but suddenly there was a knock at the door, and she involuntarily jumped.

Mike left her side to open the door. He was relieved to find Bobby standing there, his face filled with concern. Keeping his voice low, he murmured, "Thanks for coming, man. I have no idea what to do here."

"How is she?"

"Beats the hell out of me." He motioned with his head. "Come on." Bobby came into the room and approached the bed, his eyes on her bruised face. Arriving at her side, he reached out a tentative hand, slowly, and very gently brushed her long hair back from her face, tucking it behind her ear. Mike stepped up beside him, silent, wanting her to be comforted and not caring which one of them managed it.

She continued to stare down at her hands in her lap, not sure what to say or how to say it. Her mouth opened, but no sound would come out.

Patiently, he waited, lowering his hand from her face and touching the back of her right hand with his fingertips.

Slowly, she laid back against the pillows, rubbing her arm tentatively. She swallowed thickly, then finally said, "I'm...I'm so confused..."

"About what?" Mike asked.

A bitter laugh escaped her throat. "You wouldn't believe it if I told you. I don't even know if I believe it."

Bobby shot a warning glare at Mike. They had to be careful right now. "Tell us," he said softly. She knew him, knew that he cared and would not judge. His fingertips grazed the back of her hand and he settled his palm over it.

She shook her head. "No." She was tempted to pull her hand away from Bobby's, but she forced herself not to. The last thing she wanted was to upset him.

He leaned forward, chasing her eyes. Once she allowed her eyes to touch his, he tightened his hold on her hand. "Carolyn...you can't say anything that will change what we feel. Someone hurt you. We need you to give us as much detail as you can. You know that."

"I know that, Bobby!" she snapped, wiping impatiently at her eyes.

He did not react to her outburst, except to touch her shoulder and continue waiting.

She exhaled shakily. "I'm... I think... I mean, I might be pregnant..."

His eyebrows arched in surprise, but that was his only visible reaction. "Wh-what makes you say that, Carolyn?" he asked, keeping his voice even.

She turned her head away and stared at a spot on the wall. "I just... I need to get a test."

"Look at me," he whispered.

She reluctantly turned her head and met his eyes.

He touched the underside of her chin lightly with a forefinger. "Talk to me...please..."

Mike was impressed, not only at his persistence, but at the fact that he showed neither impatience nor annoyance. He was beginning to feel both but he kept himself under control and watched.

She shook her head. "I can't."

"Yes, you can," he encouraged softly.

She suddenly pushed herself off of the bed and began pacing the room, her arms wrapped tightly around herself. "No, I can't, Bobby! Don't you get it? I just can't..."

"I do get it," he murmured, watching her with concern. He ran a hand over his head. "Carolyn, listen to me. Come on, babe, you've gotta look at me."

"No." She shook her head, casting a glance at Mike. "I... You won't believe any of it." Reaching a wall, she rested her head against it.

"What makes you say that?" he asked, genuinely curious, also looking at Mike, who shrugged.

"Because you won't!" She turned on them and pointed a shaking finger at Bobby. "You won't believe that you're going to be in a car accident in a year and have a baby with your partner!" She moved to Mike, tears welling in her eyes. "And you're not going to believe that the baby I may be carrying is yours."

The two men looked at each other, confused. "A baby...with Eames...?" He frowned. He shook his head, dismissing the image and he stepped closer to her. Mike, on the other hand, withdrew, a shocked look on his face. Bobby touched her arm. "You need to tell us what happened to you," he said, his voice firm, but still soft.

She pulled her arm away. "No, you wanted to know about this. I saw... I lived two years of our lives. When I woke up, I left. I went to North Carolina for a year, and I came back when you got into the accident. You..." She looked at Mike, tears spilling down her cheeks. "You wouldn't believe for days that I cared about you. And that the baby that I had was yours." Bobby's hand found her shoulder again, but she pushed it away. "And you and Alex got married when she was pregnant with your son. Benjamin Stephen."

Bobby wondered at her anger for a moment, then realized she had nowhere to direct it but at them. "A dream didn't give you those bruises," he said softly, hesitating to touch her again.

"Yeah, the son of a bitch who raped me did!" she snapped.

He knew that they couldn't let her withdraw from this, that she had to face it and work her way through it. "Sit down," he said quietly, daring to take her elbow and holding firmly onto it as he guided her back toward the stretcher.

She pulled away from him and dared to glance at Mike. "I knew it," she finally said quietly. "I knew... that you two wouldn't believe me." She scrubbed one hand through her hair. "I don't even know if I believe myself. All I know is what happened."

"I never said I didn't believe you, Carolyn."

She finally sat down on the stretcher, tucking her hand under her head as she rested it on the pillows.

Bobby looked at Mike again, but Mike had no idea what to do or what to say. That was why he'd called Bobby. He did realize that Carolyn needed support and he stepped up to the opposite side of the stretcher. He took one hand while Bobby talked. "Carolyn, you have to talk to us." He was trying to swallow the desperation he was beginning to feel, along with the unwelcome memories of another tragedy that had touched his life.

"What is there to tell, Goren?" she asked dully, shutting her eyes. "I was raped."

Bobby didn't react to her anger. He understood its source and knew she wasn't angry at him. He could also feel Mike's eyes on him, but he focused entirely on the angry, distraught woman in front of him. "Four years ago," he said softly, unable to keep the pain from his tone. "My girlfriend was violently raped. She withdrew from me, refused to deal with what had happened to her. Carolyn, two and a half months after the rape, she found out she was pregnant. She had no idea who the father was, the man who raped her...or me. But she took matters into her own hands." He looked away, closing his eyes and swallowing hard at the difficult memory that continued to haunt him.

Mike asked, "She had an abortion, didn't she?"

Bobby shook his head. "No. She didn't. She couldn't live with what had happened to her, because she refused to face it and deal with it. She...committed suicide."

"Oh, man..."

"I...I was the one...who found her...and...and..." He trailed off and turned away from them, unable to bring himself to say the rest. He struggled for a moment and then turned back. He refused to look at either of them. "You have to talk to us, Carolyn. Please."

Tears were falling again, and Carolyn slowly turned her head. "Bobby... I'm not going to hurt myself. I'm not."

"That's what she said."

She wrapped her arms around herself again. "I went through this... or, I thought I did. I dealt with it, and I moved on. And now... now it's happening all over again..."

Bobby scrubbed a hand over his chin. "Her rapist never went to trial," he said. "Without her testimony, they had no case."

"What about the pregnancy?" Mike asked. "That had to have carried some weight."

"It would have...but post mortem testing showed that...he wasn't the father."

He turned back to Carolyn. "When did you deal with it, Carolyn? This isn't something you put behind you in a few hours' time."

She stared at him, then drew her legs up to her chest. "I had two years to deal with it... but I guess I didn't..." Her hand drifted down to her stomach, and she rubbed the area lightly.

Silently, Bobby laid his hand over hers. "It was a dream," he said softly. "No matter how real it seemed. This...here and now...this is reality, and this is what you have to deal with now."

She shook her head. "I held her, Bobby," she whispered. "She was real... I know she was."

He took a chance and touched her cheek. "I know," he murmured, his eyes sad. "I really do."

"No, you don't. I wish... there was something I could do, or say, so that you would believe me." She shook her head.

"Why do you think I don't know? Carolyn..." He shook his head. "Never mind. Look, we can deal with your dream later. We have to face this, what happened to you, now."

She stared up at him. "I can't...talk about it. It was..." She ran her hand over her face and sighed deeply.

Mike gently jostled her arm. "Keep going. You have to talk about it."

She picked up the blanket that rested at the foot of her bed, then wrapped it around herself. Several minutes of silence passed, and finally she said, "I was... I was out on a walk when he grabbed me..."

The men remained silent, each on one side of the stretcher. Bobby gently took one hand and nodded at Mike to do the same, which he did.

"He dragged me... into the alley. I tried to scream, but he covered my m-mouth... Then he pushed me onto the ground." She lowered her head and stared at the blanket covering her lap.

In silence, they waited, and with their silence, they encouraged her to continue.

She swallowed thickly. "He... he grabbed my jeans and pushed them down... Then he raped me. I can... I can still feel it..."

Bobby bit his lip and looked down at her hand, gently stroking her thumb with his. He felt a surge of rage well up inside him, along with emotions he thought he had left behind long ago.

Mike also felt a raw rage rise from deep inside, but he kept it under control as he looked first at Bobby, then at Carolyn, and waited for her to go on, as hard as it was for him to listen in silence.

"It... it felt like... it was happening for forever... but it couldn't have been more than a few minutes." She slid her hand away and buried it in her knotted hair. "He finally... he finally finished... but I couldn't get up, even after he left. I guess... I lost consciousness... because the next thing I knew, it was light again."

"When...did it happen?" Bobby asked.

"Last night..."

He nodded. "That was a good thing, going to Mike's," he said.

Mike nodded. "Yeah. I'm glad you did."

She turned onto her side, shivering slightly.

Bobby smoothed a hand over her hair, a gesture of comfort. "They haven't done the rape kit yet, have they?"

"No."

"Do you want us to stay?"

Her eyes closed. "I don't... could one of you...?"

Logan's eyes widened. He wasn't sure about this at all. But Goren was smooth and certain. "We won't leave you alone if you don't want us to."

"Okay. Thanks..."

"Uh...shouldn't one of us...I don't know...call in SVU or something?" Mike asked tentatively, earning himself a sharp look from Bobby. "I mean...I'll stay if you want. You're my partner. But...this isn't a Major Case..." he trailed off as Bobby's look became more dangerous.

She shut her eyes tighter. "You don't have to stay, Logan. Neither of you do. I can handle this."

Bobby's frown darkened. "You aren't going to handle this alone, Carolyn," he said. "Just ignore him. We'll stay."

She didn't reply. Her mind was too caught up in the memories, or dream, whatever it was that had happened over the last two years.

Bobby stepped away from her side, walking around the stretcher to Mike's side. Grabbing his arm, he guided him to the corner of the room, and in a low voice, growled, "If you can't say something supportive, just be quiet. She needs to know we're here for her and you aren't helping matters."

"I don't know what the hell to do, dammit."

"Then just stand there and look pretty. Hold her hand and let her know it's okay. Just stop being an ass."

"I'm not trying to be an ass."

"I know. It comes naturally. Follow my lead if you don't have a clue. She needs you, especially, to let her know it's going to be okay."

He shoved Mike back toward the stretcher and returned to his place at Carolyn's side.

When they returned to the stretcher, she finally opened her eyes again. "I guess I have to give a report, don't I?" she asked quietly.

"Yes," Bobby answered.

She twisted her hands in her lap. "I... I want John Munch to do it."

"All right," Mike said, his eyes darting toward Bobby. "We'll call him."

"Thanks." She laid back against the pillows again, rubbing her eyes tiredly.

Silence ensued, and finally Carolyn pushed herself up in the bed again, thinking carefully before she stood up and hugged Bobby. Then she moved to Mike, a little more uncertain. Finally she held her arms out, letting him decide.

He decided quickly, and drew her into a hug, glancing at Bobby, who gave him an approving nod. When he released her, she climbed back into the stretcher.

She let her legs dangle over the side of the stretcher, resting her elbows on her legs as she tilted her head to the side. "It does seem... kind of crazy," she said softly.

"What does?" Mike asked.

"This whole thing. I was... so sure it had happened. It felt so real..." She looked at Bobby. "I had never seen you happier, even though you were a complete idiot at first."

Mike laughed. "Him? An idiot?"

She managed a small smile. "Yeah. And you were even worse."

"Hey, I'm used to it. I'm always an idiot."

"You were even worse. You were terrified of a three month old baby."

He arched an eyebrow. "I don't do babies. They make me nervous."

"Yeah, she did at first." She looked at both of them. "But she had you both wrapped around her little fingers in a week."

Bobby gave her a warm smile and touched her hand again. "Little girls have a tendency to do that...and so do big ones."

"I wish... both of you knew what I'm talking about." Another tear fell. "Bobby, you and Alex had the most beautiful little boy. You were completely in love with him."

He gave her a sad smile. "That's... a nice thought," he murmured softly. "But she's my partner. She's not interested in me that way."

She sighed. "That's where you're wrong. She spent two months sitting by your bed when you were in the accident."

He shook his head slowly. "Dreams can seem so real," he said softly. "Especially the ones you want to believe in."

Her hands covered her stomach. If she was pregnant, then whatever that dream had been, it was repeating itself. The baby would be Mike's. Bobby would be in the accident, and he and Alex would finally see what most people had seen for years.

He tipped his head closer. "But it was just a dream, Carolyn."

"No, it wasn't. It was more than that..." She pushed herself out of the bed again and paced the cold floor. "It was... something else."

He watched her with concern. "I...don't understand."

"Neither do I!"

He circled around to intercept her pacing, and she ran into his chest. "Carolyn..."

She slowly looked up at him, her eyes brimming with tears.

He brushed his fingers over her cheek, his eyes brimmed with feeling, with deep concern.

She pulled away from his touch, her heart pounding. "Look, I know you two don't believe me." She ran her hand through her hair. "I'm not even sure if I believe myself. But I know that it was more than just a dream." Her hand went to her stomach. "I held that baby in my arms. I rocked her to sleep, stayed up with her when she was sick, and loved her more than I ever loved anyone in my life. You can't tell me that that isn't real!"

Bobby shook his head. "The emotion was real. I'm sure of that. But...are you saying you can see the future?"

Logan snorted, but swallowed any further response when Bobby glared at him.

She pointed at Mike. "You see? I knew you wouldn't believe me!" She felt as though she was trapped in a cage, and her breathing became heavier.

After casting another glare in Mike's direction, Bobby returned his full attention to Carolyn. "Ignore him. I asked a serious question, Carolyn. I want to understand what you're talking about."

"Bobby, I told you! I don't even know. The last thing I remember, I was walking back to mine and Mi-" She looked at Mike. "I was walking back to my home, and a car hit me."

"It sounds to me like it was a very intense dream. And I am not discounting how you feel. You know me better than that."

She finally sat down heavily in a stiff chair by the bed, drawing her knees up to her chest. "Look, maybe you two should go. I'm sure you both probably have stuff to do, and when John gets here, he can help me."

Bobby shook his head adamantly. "I'm not leaving you here alone."

Mike agreed with him. "I've got nothing to do."

When Bobby again glared at him, he said, "What? I want to be here."

"So _say_ so, stupid."

Slowly, she climbed into the bed and turned onto her side, sighing deeply. "Look, I'm really tired, and apparently, I'm disturbed. I think I'm going to sleep."

Bobby looked at Mike, motioning him closer with a flick of his eyes. He wasn't sure how close Carolyn was to her partner, but he did know she felt a deep affection for Mike. Although he hesitated, Mike finally came closer. He wasn't sure how to deal with this, which was why he'd been happy to call Bobby, but he didn't want to make things any worse, either. Reaching out with caution, he brushed her hair back from her face. "Sure we will."

On an impulse, he leaned down and placed a gentle kiss against her head.

Bobby nodded encouragement. Mike needed to connect with her, so that she would be reassured and know that it was really going to be all right. She could get through this, and they would both be there to help her.

She felt Mike's lips against her head, and she shivered. "Please, Mike..."

He drew back, looking uncertain and apologetic. "I...uh, sorry..."

She forced her eyes open and looked at him. "No, Mike. Don't. I mean... don't be sorry..."

He held his hands out, his face showing his uncertainty. "I...don't know what to do...I just...I want...I want you to feel better...I mean...I'm not upset with you...but tell me what I can do..."

"There's...nothing you can do right now," she whispered, pausing before touching his palm hesitantly.

Bobby nodded encouragement. "We're here," he said softly, knowing that was what she needed right now.

She continued to stare at Mike's hand, until her eyelids grew heavy. Finally she looked up at him drowsily. "Thanks, Mike..."

He looked at Bobby and shrugged. "What did I do?"

"You're here," he answered.

Mike frowned. "And? So are you."

"That's...different."

"Different how?"

"It just...is."

She looked back and forth between them, her awareness quickly fading. "You are...here... I want you..."

"Me? Or him?"

"You...Mike..."

Bobby jabbed a finger in the air in Mike's direction. "Stay here," he warned.

Mike's eyes widened. "Where are you going?"

"I'll be back."

"Hey..." His brows arched down and his voice spoke a clear warning. "Stay...here..."

Carolyn blinked slowly, and her grip on his hand loosened as her dark eyes closed again.

Bobby left the room, leaving her alone with her uncertain partner.

Bobby had a strong empathy toward victims, and he was trying to dissociate himself from the fact that Carolyn was his friend. Intuitively, he sensed that it might not be him or Mike she really needed. He left the emergency room and stood outside in the cool air. Pulling out his phone, he called his partner.

Alex was sitting at her desk, drumming her fingers impatiently against her thigh as she attempted in vain to concentrate on her paperwork. Her phone began buzzing impatiently, and she flipped it open. "Eames."

"I need you over here at St. Clare's," he said without preamble.

Her heart skipped a beat, and she swallowed thickly. "Why? What's going on?" she asked, standing up and pulling her jacket on with one hand. "I can't explain over the phone. Just meet me outside the emergency room as soon as you get here."

"I'm on my way." She shut the phone and shoved it into her pocket, then hurried out of the bullpen. Fifteen minutes later, she was parked outside of the emergency room of St. Clare's, and she quickly turned the ignition off and slammed the door, her foot hitting the pavement.

Bobby was pacing the area outside the emergency room, near the ambulance bay, lost in thought.

As soon as she saw her partner pacing, she let out a breath she hadn't known she had been holding. "Bobby?"

He spun toward her, drawn from his thoughts and surprised to see the deep worry on her face.

"Thanks for coming, Eames."

She nodded, relieved. "What's going on?"

Resting a hand on her arm, he said, "Mike called me in a panic. Uh, apparently, Carolyn was attacked last night. She showed up at his place, and he brought her here and then called me. I think she may do better having you around. I make her uncomfortable and Mike doesn't know what to do."

She stared at him for a moment, his words sinking in. Finally she said, "Attacked? You mean...?"

He nodded. "Yes. I don't know why Mike didn't call you."

She cleared her throat, then met his eyes. "Okay. I'll talk to her."

"She says she wants Mike there. I...I'll just wait out here." She saw the hurt reflecting in his eyes, and she silently reached out and touched his arm.

He let out a soft sigh and shrugged off her concern. "She's in room four."

"Okay." She gave him a soft look, squeezed his arm, then went off in search of Carolyn's room.

He let out a slow breath and walked away.

Alex ran a hand through her hair as she walked down the hall. She had no idea of what she was going to say, and for the most part, none of this had even sunk in. but she knew that she needed to reach out to her friend. Finally she found the right room, and she knocked softly, then waited for permission to enter.

"Where the hell..." Mike growled as he pulled the door open, stopping when he saw that it wasn't Bobby he was snapping at. He looked around, a little lost. "Alex...what are you doing here?"

She looked at Mike. "Bobby called me and asked me to come up here."

"Where is he?"

She shrugged a little. "When do I ever know?"

He stepped back from the doorway, relieved that he was not alone with his partner any more. "I...don't know what to do."

"Neither do I." She walked into the room.

He leaned toward her, bringing his mouth close to her ear. "You're better at this kind of stuff than I am. I admit, Bobby's the one who really should be in here, but he's letting her push him away."

She looked over at Carolyn, who seemed to be asleep. "I don't think I'm better." She rubbed her temple and exhaled deeply.

Mike frowned. "What are you talking about?"

"Just because I'm a woman, doesn't mean I know exactly what to say to make her feel better."

"But you can connect with her more readily than I can."

She started to reply, but she noticed Carolyn's restless stirring, and she nodded her head in the other woman's direction.

Mike held his hands up. "I'll stay because she wants me to, but I don't want to make things worse. That's why he must have called you."

She groaned and pushed him in the direction of the bed. "Mike, you're her partner. You're closer to her than any of us."

He ran his hand through his hair. "That doesn't mean she won't shoot me," he complained.

"When has she ever hurt you for being there, you idiot?"

"And when has she not hurt me for saying the wrong thing at the wrong time?"

"She hasn't hurt you, ass. She might yell at you, but she's not going to pull out her gun and shoot you."

"Don't be so sure."

"If you don't stop, I will leave, Logan." She took a step toward the door.

He grabbed her arm. "Don't go! Just...talk to her, please. You have more...uh, empathy than I do."

She reached up and smacked the back of his head. "Did you ever stop and take a minute to think that maybe what she wants isn't empathy, but you just being there?"

"I'm here! I told her I'm not going anywhere. But she needs someone to talk to and I'm not it. If she won't talk to Bobby, maybe she'll talk to you."

"Fine. I'll talk to her. But think about this, Logan. You're not Bobby. Of course she doesn't want to tell him about this. And maybe she doesn't even want to tell you everything. But she does want to talk to you." She sat down by Carolyn's bed and rested her head in her hand.

Mike studied her. "So your partner is too sensitive and I'm not sensitive enough. That leaves you being just right."

She snorted. "The hell it does."

"What do you expect from me, huh?"

She shook her head, but Carolyn's voice interrupted her reply. "Nothing, Mike. You should go ahead and go. I'm sure you're tired, or you need to get something to eat." Her voice trembled, and she didn't look at him.

"Shit..." he grumbled. "It's all right, Barek. I'm not going anywhere."

"No, it's not all right, Logan. Just... just go."

"You're kidding, right? Look...it's not that I don't want to be here. I just...don't know what to say. I am so good at screwing things up...I don't want to make this worse for you. You've already chased one guy away."

"Chased away...chased away? Get out, Logan. I don' even... Just get out."

Stubbornly, he sat back down and crossed his arms over his chest stubbornly. He waved his hand in the air. "Do your stuff, Eames. I'm just going to sit here and be supportive by keeping my damn mouth shut."

Alex looked between them, rubbing her temple with her fingers. "Carolyn...do you want to talk about it?"

The brunette woman shook her head. "No, I don't really want to."

"Yeah, okay, bury it. Then you'll get like Goren and that'll just make my damn day," Mike snapped irritably.

"Logan!" Alex growled.

Carolyn held a hand up. "Let him say whatever he wants," she muttered, tears stinging her eyes. "I can't stop him."

"Then talk, dammit," he growled. "Don't keep it inside."

"I told you, Logan!" she yelled at him. "I told you every damn little thing! What more do you want from me?"

"I want you to be open about this and not keep it bottled in, that's what! I don't want to watch this eat at you. It's hard enough dealing with one friend who skirts the emotional edge. I don't want to see you there, too!"

"Well, I'm sorry that I don't want to talk about how I was raped in a damn alleyway, or how I feel like my partner thinks I've lost my damn mind! I'm sorry!" "That's a start," he grumbled. "And I don't think you've lost your mind."

She held her hand up. "Don't lie to me. I can see it in your eyes."

"What the hell do you know about what's in my eyes, Barek?"

"Because I know you, and I see it!"

He threw up his hands and got to his feet. "Don't tell me how I feel or what I think!"

"Fine, Mike. You look at me..." He wiped impatiently at her eyes. "You look at me and tell me that you believe me."

He met her eyes directly. "I totally believe that you had an intense dream and that you really believe it means something. I'm not sure just what, but I don't think you know that either."

She rested her head in her hands. "How the hell do I know anything for sure? How can I be sure that this isn't a dream, and that I won't wake up in my own bed, with ou- my daughter waking me up? How do I know anything?"

"I can't help you with that, Carolyn," he said with sympathy. "But if you really want me to leave, I'll go now."

She raised her head, her dark eyes filled with an unexplainable fear. "No, you don't have to go..." He dropped back into the chair, frustrated and confused.

She leaned back against the pillows and stared up at the ceiling, her mind whirring. When she finally spoke again, her voice was soft. "I'm sorry, Mike. I'm just... confused. I was... so sure... it was real."

Mike sighed heavily. "You heard what Bobby said. Dreams can be really intense and seem very real. He'd know."

"But... I felt it," she protested weakly. "You can't feel dreams."

"That's not true," he said softly.

"What are you talking about, Mike? You can't feel dreams. That's why they're dreams."

He looked up at her. "If they're intense enough, yeah, you can feel everything."

She stared at him, her eyes searching his. "What?"

He shook his head and looked away. "Never mind," he muttered.

"What?" Her heart pounded viciously. "Mike, I opened up to you. What is it?"

Relieved that they were finally talking, Alex silently stood up and slipped out of the room.

Mike rubbed his forehead and ran his fingers through his thick hair. "In my dreams...I have relived parts of my childhood. I can feel...every slap...every punch...just like I did when she delivered them the first time. Sometimes...yeah...dreams can hurt, too."

Without thinking about what she was doing, she reached out and lightly touched his arm with her fingertips. "You were...so angry with me..." she whispered.

"For what? For being attacked?"

"In my..." She swallowed thickly. "Whatever the hell it was...I left. I was gone for a year, and when I came back, you ran as soon as you saw me. And even...even when I finally got you to trust me again...you still resented me."

He frowned, thoughtful. "Gone for a year...why?"

Twisting her hands in her lap, she finally whispered, "Because... I was pregnant."

He looked confused. "Well, there's the first tip off it was a dream, Barek. You don't run away from reality. I do. Bobby does. But not you and not Eames. You're tough."

"I wasn't tough enough," she said quietly.

"Bullshit. Look at you. You were attacked twelve hours ago and you're still jumping on my stupid ass for being a jerk. You're tougher than you give yourself credit for. Goren and I put on a good show at being tough. We can take a hell of a lot. But you...you're the real thing...you and Eames."

She sighed deeply. "I just... It felt so damn real. I... I had the baby, and I came back." She slowly turned onto her side, looking at him. "You were so sure I was going to leave again."

He studied his hands and gave it some thought. "I don't get over abandonment easily...but you didn't leave, Carolyn. It's not an issue. Don't wig out on me for something that never happened."

She picked at the blanket covering her lap. "What if..." she started quietly, uncertainly. "What if I am pregnant?"

He shrugged. "We'll deal with it. It's your decision how you want to handle it, if you are, but you don't have to face it alone, regardless of your choice."

In a voice that was little more than a whisper, she said, "What if she's yours? I mean... we were... we did..."

"We what?"

_Oh, hell_... "Last week. We went to O'Riley's and got drunk..." She looked at him. "Don't you remember?"

"I remember getting drunk..."

She turned her head and stared at the wall. "You don't remember..." Her head dropped a little. "We... we slept together..."

He looked at the floor, embarrassed. "I...uh...I'm sorry...God, this just gets worse and worse..."

"You're sorry?" She looked at him, stunned and hurt. "You're... sorry?" A tear rolled down her cheek, and she turned onto her opposite side, unwilling to look at him.

"What? No...hey...don't do this to me...I am sorry...sorry I took advantage of our friendship...I'm sorry I don't remember it..."

She wiped at the tears trailing down her cheeks. "You... you held me..." A painful lump rose in her throat. "I can't believe... you don't remember..."

He stepped up to the bed. "I am...I'm not being an ass, Carolyn. And something tells me it's something I'd want to remember. But don't punish me for it. For a change I'm not being a bastard."

She slowly turned over again. "I'm not trying to punish you, Mike."

"Then don't lay a guilt trip on me for something that's not entirely my fault."

"Mike, I'm not! I just... I want to know that I meant more than that..." She finally looked up into his eyes again. "You mean more to me."

"More than...what? A drunk roll in the hay? Shit, Carolyn... you're my partner. You mean a lot to me. I can't say what was going through my head last week, but..." He reached out to lay a hand on her cheek. "You are on the short list of people I really care about. Believe me when I say it's a very short list...and you're at the top."

She leaned into him almost instinctively. "I care about you, too."

"You don't say that to many other people either."

"I know." She rested her hand over his, then gently squeezed it. "But I do."

Then he withdrew from her. This was his partner. "Maybe I care too much. I don't want to screw this up, Barek. I like having you as a partner. That's why I'm here. You're my partner, and I care about you very much. So let me help you work through this and if anything comes out of it, well, we'll deal with that, too. Um...if it turned out you are pregnant...it could be the product of this rape...or mine...anyone else in the running for daddy?"

She lowered her head and shivered at the loss of his touch. "I think... I mean, I am so sure... she's yours." She sighed softly. "But she could be Bobby's."

He arched his eyebrows in surprise. "Are you sure about that?"

"Yes."

"As freaky as he is about passing on his mother's illness...he wasn't more careful...?"

"None of us were careful." She rubbed her arm slowly. "But... the baby... In my dream, or whatever that was, she was yours."

"Look, we don't know that you're pregnant. Let's not...put the cart in front of the horse."

"That's why I want a test done. Now. I... I have to know."

"But if it happened in the last week...it's not going to show up now. That would eliminate the rapist...and me..."

She sank back against the pillows, watching him carefully as she offered her hand to him. "Whatever it is," she started slowly, "I want you here."

"I told you I'd stay."

She nodded. "Okay." Her thumb began tracing slow circles over his skin. "Thanks."

"Don't thank me. It's what partners do...what friends do."

"But I do appreciate it."

"I know you do." She sighed deeply. "How do you do that?"

He frowned. "How do I do what?"

"You make me so mad, mad enough to want to kill you. Then..." She shook her head. "Then you make me want to hug you."

"It's a curse," he replied with a grin.

"You don't seem too upset about it."

"I like the hugs," he answered without missing a beat.

She leaned over and wrapped an arm around him, resting her head against his. "I did, too."

He did not hesitate to slide his arms around her and hold her against him in a warm, comforting hug. It was exactly what she needed, and he was happy to be able to come through for her.

Her breath ruffled his hair, and she moved her head down to his shoulder. Memories washed over her, making her tighten her arms around him.

He laid his hand against her head and simply held her.

TBC...

A/N: Well...uhm... (hides under rock to avoid flaming pans and left shoes.)


	24. What I Need To Do

Whew, ya'll really enjoyed that last chapter...for the most part. And I'll go ahead and answer a prominent question. This isn't a dream. The previous chapter and this one is what is really happening. Everything else was a dream. And no, delirious, Bobby Ewing is not going to be in Carolyn's shower. Well, enjoy this chapter, and please remember to review!

Disclaimer: Not ours!

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When Alex left Carolyn's room, she walked down the hall in search of her partner. She was confident that Mike and Carolyn were working things out, and now she just needed to make sure her partner was okay. She found him pacing just outside of the hospital, and she studied him for a moment before softly calling his name. "Bobby?"

He stopped his restless pacing when she called his name and turned toward her. "How is she?"

She gave a small shrug. "She's talking to Mike."

"Good."

Taking a step closer, she watched him. "How are you?"

"Me? Why are you asking?"

"I'm your partner. It's my job," she answered in a teasing voice.

His mouth quirked into the shadow of a smile. "You do your job well," he answered.

"I'm still here, aren't I? Must be doing something right."

"Meaning what, Eames? I haven't chased you off?"

"Of course you haven't." Her mouth turned up in a warm smile. "I'm immune."

"And I'm lucky for that," he replied, feeling some of his restlessness subside.

"Sometimes I'm pretty sure I'm the lucky one."

"Why would you say that, Eames?"

She smiled up at him, her dark eyes bright with affection. "Because I got you for a partner," she answered simply.

His face settled into a soft smile. "I hit the jackpot the day you decided to stay," he said. Then he stepped away from her and began to pace again.

She crossed her arms over her chest and watched him, worry eating away at her. Finally after several minutes, she said, "Hey, Bobby? Do you want to go get some coffee?"

He looked at her, suspicion flickering across his face. He chased it away, hoping she had not seen it. "I...uh..." He let out a sigh. "If you want."

She smiled at him. "My, that sounds familiar," she said sarcastically as they walked away together.

"What does?"

"If I want. How many times have I heard that in our partnership?" She playfully pushed his arm. "You need to open your mouth up once in a while."

"I think I open up my mouth too much sometimes," he complained.

"Never, Bobby." She rubbed her shoulder a little and shivered, despite the warm air.

He frowned. "What's wrong? You're not getting sick, are you?"

She stared at him blankly for a moment, then shook her head. "No... I'm not getting sick."

"Are you cold?"

She gave him an amused smile. "A little. I don't know why."

He slipped off his suit jacket and draped it over her shoulders.

"Thanks..." She pulled his jacket tighter around her shoulders. It nearly reached her knees and completely engulfed her, giving her a strange sense of security that she hadn't felt in years.

They walked in silence for half a block. "Can I ask you something?" he asked suddenly.

She quirked an eyebrow. "Of course."

"Uh...what do you do...um, to...keep safe...when I'm not around?"

"What do you mean, Bobby?"

Hoping she wasn't going to misinterpret his concern, he explained, "Logan and I have both noticed that you and Carolyn are strong and tough, and yet...look what happened to her. She won't talk to me, so I don't know just how it came about...if she got caught off guard or what. I was wondering...what you do when you're alone...to stay safe."

She thought about it for a few seconds. "Well... I stay away from dark places... but I'm with you most of the time."

"But...not always...and it's when I am not around that you are most at risk."

"Bobby, you know I can protect myself. I'll be fine."

He was having trouble letting go of the image of Carolyn back in the emergency room, injured and traumatized, uncertain of what and who she wanted around her. He worried that she could possibly think there was any chance he might hurt her. "I-I know you think you can take care of yourself, but...the honest truth of the matter, Eames, is that you can easily be overpowered by a man, if he chose to attack you."

She mulled that over for a few minutes. "I'm aware of that, Bobby," she said quietly. "I've been aware of that my entire life."

"I...wasn't...until now..."

She stepped in front of him, and without hesitation, drew him into an awkward hug. It was the first time, she realized, that they had ever touched like this when they weren't undercover.

He stopped, caught off guard by the sudden hug. He hesitated for a moment before tentatively wrapping his arms around her petite frame. The hug relaxed him. At that moment, she was entirely safe. He wished he could keep her safe like that always.

Resting her cheek against his shoulder, she drew in a shaky breath. "As much as you hate it, Bobby, you can't always protect me. Just like I can't always protect you..."

He snorted. "I don't need protection, Eames. No one messes with me."

"That doesn't stop me from wanting to protect you."

"I...appreciate that."

"You better." She closed her eyes for a few moments.

He rested his chin lightly on her head and replied, "I do. No one has...watched out for me in more years than I can remember. I'm not used to it."

"I've done my best to watch out for you since we became partners. I...I really care about you, Bobby."

For some reason, the admission made him nervous. "I...care about you, too, Eames," he answered, gently withdrawing from her arms and the conversation. "Uh, let's get you that coffee."

She pulled his coat tighter around herself, suddenly uncertain and embarrassed. "Okay... yeah, sure."

The awkwardness of the moment passed as they arrived at the coffee shop down the street from the hospital. Pulling the door open, he held it for her and followed her into the building.

Alex ordered her coffee, then found a booth in a fairly deserted corner. She sat down and sipped on her coffee, her mind whirring as she waited for Bobby to join her.

He slid into the booth opposite her, placing a small dish in front of her. A cherry danish, which he knew was her favorite.

She smiled and picked up a fork, taking a small bite of the danish. "Thanks, Bobby. You didn't have to do that."

He shrugged off her gratitude, but a small smile graced his mouth as he looked out the window. No, he didn't have to do it, but he felt it a small matter to make his partner happy.

She noticed him staring out the window, and after several minutes, she said, "Do you want to talk about it?"

He turned to look at her, his eyes clouded with confusion. She didn't normally interrupt his mental wanderings. "T-talk...about what?"

"Whatever has got you thinking so hard."

"Oh." He looked down at his hands. "I don't think you want to go there."

"Bobby..." She reached over and lightly touched his finger, then leaned forward to catch his eyes. "You can talk to me about anything."

He gazed into her eyes for a moment, then looked down at the gentle finger that traced a light path over his. "Do you think...that I'm capable of hurting someone?"

"Other than yourself?" She shook her head. "No."

"So...I mean...why did Carolyn look at me like I could...or would?"

She exhaled deeply. "Bobby, she's hurting and afraid right now. Give her a little time. She knows that you could never hurt her."

"I...I don't know about that..."

"Bobby..." She sighed and rubbed her temple. "I was in there. She didn't even want Mike around. That has got to tell you that she's not herself right now."

"I thought...she should...I mean...she knows me...Eames..." He trailed off, uncomfortable. "She knows me," he finished lamely.

"Look, Bobby..." She reached out, hesitating a moment before she laid her hand over his. "She does."

The conversation had him uptight and uncomfortable, and he was suddenly desperate to change the subject. "I'm...being overly sensitive...That happens sometimes. I'm sorry."

She reluctantly withdrew her hand and looked away. "You're not, Goren."

A frown creased his brow. "What did I say?"

"You're not overly sensitive." Now the conversation was making her uncomfortable, and she looked out the window. "Don't apologize, even if you are sometimes. It's not a bad thing to worry or care about people."

He returned his gaze to the street beyond the coffee shop. "I suppose that's a matter of opinion."

She shook her head. "Forget it." Pushing her plate away, she finished the last of her coffee. "Let's get out of here."

He didn't argue, but he wasn't quite sure what he had done to annoy her. From experience, however, he knew better than to ask. He followed her out onto the city street in silence.

On the sidewalk, she let several blocks pass before she finally said, "I should probably head back to work."

"And what do you expect me to do?" he wondered at her exclusion of him from the return to work.

She shrugged. "You can come, or you can go back to the hospital. It's up to you."

He was getting the uncomfortable feeling he wasn't welcome in either place. "I guess I'll...see you later, then..."

Her eyes softened, and she chewed on her lower lip. "Come on, Goren. Let's get back to work."

He looked at her with tired eyes. "Are you sure? Do you need a break?"

She shook her head and started to take another step. But something made her turn back. "Are you sure you want to go back? Didn't Carolyn want you there when she gives her report?"

He shook his head. "I don't think she knows what she wants," he muttered.

"She'll want you," she whispered, something gripping her that she thought she had left behind.

"Eames...she's moving on, and so am I. She wants Mike there, and that's his place to be. He's her partner. I'm yours."

"I know." She shook her head. "Never mind. Do you want to go back to the hospital or not?"

He chewed his lip. "What I want is irrelevant. And I have no idea what she wants...so...I don't know."

"God, Bobby!" She flung her hands up in the air and sighed in exasperation.

Tense and frustrated, he waved his hand in the air impatiently. "Go on back to the squad room, Eames. I'll talk to you later."

He walked away from her.

"Fine." She cursed in frustration. She didn't want him to go, but she didn't have much of a choice. He was her partner, nothing more. No matter what she wanted... She swallowed thickly. Where the hell had that come from?

He heard her swear and he stopped, turning around suddenly. "Eames..."

"What, Goren?" she asked irritably.

He had not meant to upset her, but somehow he had. "Why...?" He trailed off and closed his eyes, uncertain and not liking the feeling at all.

"Why what?"

"I didn't mean to upset you. I'm sorry."

She took another step closer against her better judgment. "That's not what you were talking about. Why what?"

"Why...do we keep arguing? It..." he sighed, not sure how to describe what he was feeling.

"It what?" She took another step. "Tell me, Bobby."

"It...worries me."

"Why does it worry you?" She motioned between them. "We argue sometimes."

"More than we used to lately. I'm afraid..." He choked on the word and looked away.

"Afraid of what? Bobby, you have to talk to me, or we're never going to be okay."

He clamped a hand behind his neck and rubbed taut muscles. "I...don't do so well without you, Eames."

She nodded. "I know that, Bobby."

"If...if we're not getting along...there is no reason for you...for you to stay..." he finished on a soft note, swallowing his embarrassment.

"Is that what this has been all about? You're afraid I'm going to leave?" She shook her head.

He looked away. "It's something that's always hanging over my head," he murmured.

She was surprised to feel tears sting her eyes, but she lowered her head to hide them. "Bobby, if you really think I'm just going to leave you, you don't know me at all."

"It's not you leaving," he managed. "It's me...driving you away..."

"I think..." She swallowed thickly. "I think I should go back to work now..." She started to leave.

He wanted to stop her, but he found himself unable to do anything more than watch her walk away. He looked down a the sidewalk, making up his mind not to return to the hospital. He needed to clear his head, and being around either of the women he cared about was not going to help him think.

A lone tear fell down her cheek, and she resisted the urge to turn around and apologize for everything. Instead, she continued to walk away. Emotions were running high, some that she couldn't define, or maybe didn't even want to. She wasn't supposed to be feeling this way about her partner. He was her partner. They worked together, and he cared about her, but it was strictly platonic. She knew that. But then, why was she feeling this way? _Damn it all_, she thought angrily.

She finally reached the hospital parking lot, and she slammed the door shut after climbing inside. The engine roared to life, and she drove down the street. She reached 1PP, but she didn't stop. Instead, she continued to drive. To where, she didn't know. All that mattered was distance. That was what she needed right now.

And another tear fell.

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Carolyn was playing with her hair, her brow furrowed in thought.

Mike was pacing in the small room, feeling like a caged animal, unable to expend the energy he needed in order to calm down.

"Mike, please stop," she finally said quietly.

"Stop...what am I doing?"

"Pacing. You're making me nervous."

"Oh. Sorry." He sat down, making his anxiety worse, and fidgeted in the chair.

She reached out and touched his shoulder tentatively. "Mike..."

He turned toward her with questioning eyes. "What? Do you need something?"

"Look, go get something to eat. Go walk around. Do something for a little while." She forced a smile. "Please."

"I don't want to leave you alone. You shouldn't be alone."

"But you're making me nervous. I'll be fine for a little bit."

"I don't have to leave. I'll just sit here."

"Mike..." She exhaled softly. "Go get some coffee."

"Do you want some coffee?"

She didn't particularly, but if it got him out of the room for a few minutes... "Sure."

"You'll be okay for five minutes?"

"Yes. I'll be fine."

He sighed. "I'll be right back," he promised.

She nodded and settled back against the pillows. "I'll be here."

He was gone for less than five minutes, returning with a coffee for her, creamed and sweetened.

She accepted the cup with trembling hands, sipping it gratefully. A few moments later, she murmured, "Thanks, Mike."

"Sure," he responded, sitting back in the chair near her. He was still anxious but he had a better handle on it.

She stared down into the cup thoughtfully. "Now what?"

"What do you mean?"

She gave a small shrug. "I told you and Bobby what happened. So... what happens next?"

"After the exam or after we catch the son of a bitch who attacked you?"

The exam... She groaned softly and took another sip of the coffee.

"What? What's wrong?"

She fingered the cup. "The exam..." Leaning forward, she rested her head in her free hand. "Can you get a nurse in here?"

"Yeah...sure." He went to the door and motioned for a nurse to come to the room.

Carolyn looked up at the nurse, then lowered her eyes again. "I need...can we get the exam over with? Please?"

Mike was very uncomfortable, but he would remain through the exam if that was what his partner wanted.

Nurse Stevens moved to the foot of the bed and slowly lifted the blanket away from the bottom half of Carolyn's body. Sitting down, Stevens said, "Okay, Ms. Barek. I'm going to need you to hold your ankles together and relax your legs."

Her stomach heaved violently, but she complied with the nurse's request. Looking at Mike, she silently extended her hand halfway to him, hoping he would take it.

He looked at her hand for a moment before it occurred to him that she wanted him to take it. Stepping up to the bed, he slid his hand into hers and held it in a firm grip.

She managed to relax a little with his hand in hers. But when the pain became too much, she closed her eyes and wished that he would hold her. It didn't matter what they were right then. All she wanted was to be held and promised that everything would be fine.

When she clamped her eyes shut, tensing up and whimpering, he pulled her closer and held her against his chest. "It's gonna be okay, Carolyn. We'll get you through this, I promise."

_We_...He looked around the room, wondering where the 'we' had went.

She turned her head and buried it in Mike's chest, drawing in unsteady breaths. She could feel every little thing the nurse was doing, and for a moment, it felt like the attack was happening all over again. She grabbed Mike's shirt and balled it in her fists in an attempt to pull him closer against her.

He let her do whatever she needed to, keeping his arms around her. Partners took care of each other, and he was taking care of her.

Finally the nurse finished, pulling the blanket over Carolyn again. "All done," she said quietly, walking out of the room again with a brown paper bag secure in her hand.

Mike didn't release her immediately. He gave her the freedom to choose when to pull away. That had been the most uncomfortable time he had ever spent in her presence. He definitely preferred sitting across from her, laughing when she threatened bodily harm toward him for being an idiot.

Her entire body was aching dully, but she didn't move her head from his shoulder. "I, uh, I don't feel good, Mike..."

Instead of his usual sarcastic reply, he opted for using the empathy he had learned from Goren. It was useful in uncomfortable situations, like this one, when he had to be sympathetic and had no idea how to express it. Silently, he held her and waited for some clue from her that she felt all right enough to sit on her own.

Her stomach churned violently, and she felt the bile creep up in the back of her throat. She couldn't move for fear that it would make her lose the contents of her stomach, but the sour taste that rose in her mouth told her she had little choice. In a choked whisper, she said, "Mike, give me the bedpan..."

He handed her the basin without hesitation, holding her hair back while she retched.

She emptied her stomach painfully, then dry heaved several times before she sank back against his chest, wiping at her mouth with the back of her hand.

He still had no idea what to do, so he stood silently by her side and let her rest against him.

Her stomach finally settled again, and she groaned softly. She slowly pulled away from Mike, wiping at her mouth again as she said, "I'm...sorry."

"Sorry? For what?"

"I shouldn't...I mean...I shouldn't need this so much..."

She lost him. "Need what?"

"You holding me. I..." Her voice trailed off, and she pressed her hand to her mouth.

"Hey--what are partners for?"

"This is...beyond what a partner does."

He started feeling uncomfortable. "I'm your friend, too...Look, don't make this into a big deal. I'll always be here for you."

She looked up into his eyes, searching desperately for something she had once been able to see every time she looked. But she couldn't find it, and she dropped her head again and rubbed the back of her neck.

He waited, but she didn't say anything more. He didn't know what she was looking for, and he didn't know what to do.

Tears streamed down her face, and she turned her head away and laid back, pulling the blanket tightly over herself. Then she tucked her hand under her head.

"Did I say something wrong?" he finally asked, not sure why she was withdrawing. He wasn't any good at playing the emotion game.

"No. You didn't do anything wrong." She rubbed at her eyes impatiently. "I did."

"What did you do that was wrong?"

"Mike, please...not now."

"Why not? What are you avoiding?"

"I love you!" she snapped, shutting her eyes. "I love you, and every time I look at you..." Her hand went to her mouth.

He stared at her, stunned. That was the last thing he expected from her and he had no idea what to do with it.

Her entire body trembled, and she slowly opened her eyes. "Look, I don't expect you to say it back. I just... had to tell you...You deserve to know."

"It's not that...I just...you surprised me. That came out of the blue."

"Don't say that. I didn't want to tell you right now, but you kept pushing me."

"And what? You expect me to run away as fast as I can with my tail tucked between my legs? Or does it scare you because you told Goren the same thing and that ended what you had?"

"No, what scares me is that I've seen what we can have, and the thought that if either of us walk away now, we'll never have that!"

He studied her, confused. "You've seen what and how did I miss it?"

"I saw it! We were happy, happier than we've ever been!" She reached around her neck and unfastened the necklace, allowing it to dangle from her fingertips. "I always took care of this, even when I left. I know...I know I'm probably not making much sense, but I know what I went through, what we went through...together."

He held his hands out. "I wasn't there! I have no idea what you're talking about!"

"I know you weren't there now! But you have to understand..." She swung her legs over the side of the bed and met his eyes. "I went to North Carolina for a year and had your baby, but I came back when Bobby was in a bad car accident. You were pissed as hell at me for leaving, and I can't blame you. But I came back with our baby." She took a moment to catch her breath. "After Bobby got out of the hospital, me and the baby moved in with you, and Bobby and Alex got pregnant a few months later. They had a boy." She scrubbed a hand through her hair. "I think that about covers it all."

"A dream, Barek. That's all it was. A dream."

She stared at him, slowly shaking her head. "No. It was something else. And if either of you try to tell me it was a dream again..."

"Why are you so desperate for this dream to be real?"

"Because I love your stupid ass!" she snapped angrily.

"So it's gotta be tied to a dream? Like I can't feel anything for you in real life?"

She paused, staring at him with her lips slightly parted. When she could finally form a coherent response, she said, "Do you...?"

"Would you believe me if I told you? I'm not too keen on being laughed at."

She raised her eyebrows slightly. "I wouldn't laugh..."

"Is it okay to feel something more than friendship for your partner?"

"I feel...more than that for you..." She looked down at her hands. "But you already know that."

He stepped away from her and began to pace...what now? Life suddenly became infinitely more complicated for him. For them.

She shut her eyes and laid her head back against the pillows. Now she had really done it. She had screwed everything up. And what was to stop him from leaving? Sure, he felt duty bound to be there for her, but that was it. Or was it? She sighed deeply, more confused than she had been in a long time.

Mike was unsure. He was caught off guard by her confession, unaware that the feelings he had been struggling with had been troubling her as well. So what was the best way to handle it┘what did he have to do to reassure her and not freak her out?

She opened her eyes and stared up at the ceiling, but not really seeing it. His pacing was making her even more nervous, and she turned her head away from him. The more silence that passed, the larger the knot in her stomach grew.

He stopped his restless pacing suddenly, running a hand through his hair. Making up hi mind, he turned suddenly and stepped up to the bedside. Turning her head so that she was facing him, he traced his fingers lightly along the side of her face and leaned forward to gently kiss her.

She was stunned when she felt his lips on hers, but she didn't fight it. Instead, she raised a hand and buried it in his hair, exhaling deeply.

He allowed her to take the lead, controlling the kiss. She needed to feel in control of something and he was willing to let her have it.

She deepened the kiss and gently applied pressure to the back of his neck, guiding him closer to her. A shudder went through her body, but that didn't stop her. This is where she wanted to be again, and whatever it took, she would find a way to keep them like this.

His hand remained resting against her cheek and he waited until she finally drew back. "It's going to be all right, Carolyn. I'll make sure of it."

She forced her eyes open and watched him carefully. "As...as long as you're here..."

"I'm not going anywhere. I told you that."

"I know."

"You didn't believe me."

"I...wasn't sure." She rested her palm against his cheek. "I thought...I thought you might, just because we're partners..." She shook her head.

"I brought you here because we're partners. I stayed because we're friends. And I'll stay up with you all night...because I love you."

He surprised himself. Where had that come from?

She sat upright and pulled him into another hug. "I...I love you, too, Mike..." As she rested one hand on his back, she realized that the crucifix was still clutched in her hand, and she rubbed the chain slowly with her thumb.

He rubbed his hand over her back and kept silent.

Slowly, she withdrew from him and brushed her hair away, slipping the necklace around her neck again. As she fastened it carefully, the cool metal settled against her sensitive skin, and she fingered the crucifix thoughtfully.

Mike lowered himself into the chair beside the bed. "I wonder where Bobby and Alex took off to," he mused, searching for something to discuss with her.

She gave a small shrug. "I don't know." A sigh passed her lips. "He probably thinks I'm upset with him."

"Probably."

A ghost of a smile flitted across her face. "That helps a lot," she said sarcastically.

"Sorry. If he didn't think that he'd have come back."

Turning her head, she looked at him. Her hand drifted out and settled over his, squeezing gently. "I probably should talk to him."

"Better you than me. I hate when he gets moody."

"Me too." She yawned, her entire body suddenly drained of energy. "But I think I can talk to him."

"You want me to go find him?"

"Mm...Okay. But I can't promise I'll be awake..."

"Never mind then. He'll survive until you feel better."

She looked at him drowsily. "Not until then...just until...I'm awake..."

He stayed where he was while she dozed off. The truth of the matter was he had no idea where Bobby had gone.

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She drummed her fingers against the steering wheel as she drove, more out of anxiety than anything. She had been driving for close to three hours, and still she hadn't found whatever it was she had been looking for.

Bobby walked aimlessly through the streets of midtown, lost in deep thought. He felt an impotent rage over what had happened to Carolyn and that fueled his unrest. He was also confused about why she'd had Mike call him if she didn't want him there. On top of everything else, his argument with his partner had him annoyed at himself. He wondered if he should have gone back to work with her, but that would probably have been worse. His restlessness annoyed her.

She reached over and began fiddling with the radio. Nothing seemed to fit the mood that had enveloped her, so she turned it off with a sigh. And again, thoughts of her partner entered her mind. At times, he made her insane, and sometimes, she couldn't imagine her life without him. But these feelings that had her trapped were beyond what she had ever connected with her partner. This was something much deeper, and it terrified her.

A half hour later, she was sick of the silence, and she finally reached over and turned the radio on again. Then she returned her hands to the steering wheel, gripping it tightly. Soft music filtered through the radio, and she chewed on her lower lip as she stared at the road in front of her.

_What I need to do is turn this car around _

_Drive as fast as I can until I see the lights of our hometown _

_And run to her, take her in my arms _

_Make her see how sorry I am _

_Well that shouldn't be so hard _

_But I drive on _

_Knowing what I need to do _

_Girl, I'm coming home to you_

She nearly lost control of the car, and as she skidded off of the shoulder of the road, she could hear horns blaring from cars behind her. But she wasn't aware of them. All she was aware of was the blood pounding in her ears.

He couldn't imagine that anyone would be looking for him, so he remained on the deck for the rest of the day, until the sun began to set and he knew it was time to head home. He decided it best to simply walk him. He loved twilight in the city, a time of day he rarely resented being alone. He took his time and by the time he was nearly home, it was late. Eames would have been home long ago, and he found himself feeling disappointed that she had not called. As late as it was, with no call from her, led him to the obvious conclusion that he had pissed her off once again. He was good at that lately and getting better.

As the car went off the road, her head hit the steering wheel before she managed to stop the car and turn the engine off. She sat on the side of the road for several long minutes, her heart pounding and her head in her hands. She loved him. She was in love with her partner. When the hell had this happened? She groaned softly, touching her head. She could feel a small trickle of blood running down her forehead, but she ignored it. How could this have happened? They were partners! They worked together. They didn't sleep together. "Oh, God..." she muttered, a tear falling down her cheek. No matter what she chose, she was going to be hurt.

Someone came up to the SUV and tapped on the glass, startling Alex. The person looked at her in concern, but she lowered her glass and said, "I'm fine." The man nodded and walked away, and several minutes later, she pulled out her cell phone. Yeah, she was in trouble.

TBC...

A/N: Thanks for reading, everyone! The piece of song I used toward the end was Kenny Chesney's What I Need To Do. I thought it fit the scene very well. We hope ya'll enjoyed this chapter, and please remember to review!


	25. Uncertainty

Well, I'm glad everyone enjoyed that last chapter. Several questions will be answered in this one. There is also a major smut scene in this chapter. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: Not ours!

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An hour later, Alex found herself in the ER of the nearest hospital, St. Matthew's. She didn't like being poked and prodded, and it was only serving to fuel her determination to get to her partner. But a small part of her didn't want to go back, and it was a strong part. She sighed and wrapped her arms around her abdomen. Either way, she was in trouble. If she ran, or if she went back home. It wasn't going to be pretty.

The city at night never made Bobby nervous. Very few things ever did. He walked aimlessly for a long time, letting his thoughts wander, until he realized how late it was. With a heavy sigh, he headed for home. His partner had him all out of sorts and he didn't know what to do about it.

She stared ahead at the whitewash wall in front of her. A nurse came in to check on her, and she smiled kindly. "Is there anyone I can call for you?"

Alex started to shake her head, but then thought better. "Actually, there is." She gave her Bobby's cell phone number, then raised her hand to her head. She didn't care anymore. She needed him, and just how she needed him, she'd figure out later.

Nurse Turner went back out of the room and to the nurse's station, then picked up the phone and began dialing the number Alex had given her.

He pulled his phone from his pocket, frowning at the unfamiliar number

Flipping it open, he answered, "Goren."

"Mr. Goren? This is Lisa Turner, at St. Matthew's. I'm calling about Alexandra Eames."

He stopped dead in his tracks and his heart jumped into his throat. He swallowed hard. "S-St. Matthew's...what happened?"

"She was in an accident. She's pretty shaken up, and she asked me to call you."

He swallowed a surge of panic. "I-Is she all right? Can I talk to her?"

"She's okay, for the most part. Hold on a minute." Turner set the phone down, then walked back into Alex's room and ushered her out and over to the nurse's station. She handed her the phone, and Alex took it reluctantly. "Bobby...?"

"Eames...what happened? Are you all right?"

She closed her eyes for a moment. "Yeah, I think. My head is killing me."

"Do you want me to come and get you?"

"Yeah, if you're not busy... They won't let me drive."

"N-no...I'm not busy. I'll be there right away."

"Okay." She started to hang up, but quickly said, "Bobby? Thanks..."

He hesitated, surprised. "Uh...sure..."

Closing the phone, he slid it in his pocket and headed back toward the hospital where he'd left his car, worry solidifying like a rock in the pit of his stomach.

Alex hung up the phone, then went back to her room. The pounding was growing worse by the minute, and she laid down and tried to relax. Bobby would be there soon, and maybe things would be okay then.

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Turner was sitting at the nurse's desk, filling out paperwork, when a tall, dark haired man approached her. She met his intense eyes and said, "Can I help you?"

"I'm looking for Alex Eames," he answered, unable to conceal his anxiety, which had worsened with every mile he drove.

She nodded in understanding. "You must be Bobby." She stood up and walked around the desk, then led him down the hall. When they reached the right door, she said, "She's right in there."

"Thank you. Um, is she all right?"

"Her car went off the road, so she's a very lucky woman that her injuries weren't worse. The worst injury she sustained was a laceration on her head, probably from when her head hit the steering wheel. Other than that, the injuries were limited to scrapes and bumps."

He nodded, but there still a rock in the pit of his stomach. "Thanks."

"You're welcome." She walked away from him, a small smile on her face.

He opened the door slowly and poked his head into the small room. Her eyes were closed. Quietly, he slipped into the room and stepped up to the bed, studying the bruises on her face and the sutured laceration that marred the smooth skin of her forehead. Gently, he brushed her hair back and caressed her cheek. What brought her to this...and did he have anything to do with it?

She stirred at the gentle touch, unaware of who was standing beside her. Her head pounded viciously, and she groaned softly.

He gently took her hand, his face a study in remorse. What had he failed to do? Why was she here, injured and alone, three hours outside the city?

Her eyes slowly fluttered open, and she looked around the room blearily. She slowly realized who was in the room with her, and she licked her dry lips. "Bobby...?"

"Hey...I..." he trailed off, uncertain. He had no idea what to say to her.

She looked down at his hand, which was wrapped tightly around hers. She gave it a slight squeeze.

"What happened, Eames?"

She reached up and touched her temple with her free hand, sighing softly. "The car... I went... off the side of the road..."

"What are you doing up here?"

She swallowed thickly and turned her head away from him. How was she going to answer that? She knew why, but now... now it just didn't make sense, even in her own mind. She had been angry, and she did the one thing she always swore she'd never do: she ran. Instead of facing what might have been the greatest thing of her life, she ran from it. How was she going to even begin to explain that to the man standing beside her?

"Eames?" His voice was gentle and laced with concern.

"I..." The pounding in her head suddenly amplified ten times. "I don't know," she finally answered quietly. "I just...got in the car...and I drove. I didn't even think about it..."

"B-but...why? What upset you?"

She groaned softly. "Bobby..."

His eyebrows creased with concern. "Eames...Alex...what's wrong?"

"I drove...because I was afraid..." She drew in an unsteady breath. "I needed... to get away..."

His face grew dark. "Afraid?" He turned and ran a hand over his head, agitated. He began to pace in the small room. "I...I don't...understand..."

"Because... I realized something." She grunted slightly as she pushed herself upright in the bed, ignoring the nauseating waves sweeping over her.

"Something that scared you so bad you took off and wrecked your car?" He could not imagine anything that would cause her that much grief and he was afraid that he was inadvertently the cause. His worry was reflected clearly on his face.

"I didn't mean to wreck the car!" She leaned forward and rested her head in her hand. "Look, Bobby, I know where the boundaries between us are. But..." She looked at him helplessly, unable to find the words to continue.

He didn't like the way this conversation was headed, and he suddenly felt sick to his stomach. He had no idea how to react. "I, uh, I didn't say you meant to wreck your car," he said gently, hoping to steer the conversation away from the issue of their relationship. He didn't want things to change. He had messed everything up badly enough as it was and he couldn't take any more tension between them.

She stared at him, recognizing the look in his eyes, and she turned her head away. If he didn't want to discuss it, fine. Maybe now wasn't the time to talk about it, anyway. She waved a hand dismissively. "Never mind. Can you just... take me home? Please?"

Now she was upset. How could he smooth this over? Avoiding the issue wasn't the answer. It wouldn't solve anything and it would only make her resent him more. "I..." He dropped his chin to his chest, conceding defeat. He let out a miserable sigh. "Whatever you want, Eames." he finally answered, his defeat clear in his tone. He had no idea what else to say.

She heard his tone, and she sighed, rubbing the back of her neck. Slowly, she swung her leg over the side of her bed and pushed herself to her feet. Picking up her jacket off of the chair, she bit her lip from the pain as she draped it over her shoulders. "Let's go."

He reached out on an impulse, gently grasping her arm and pulling her against him into a warm hug. He felt he had to do something, and a hug seemed the least harmful. He murmured a soft apology into her hair.

She hesitated before wrapping her arms around him. She felt safe right then, safer than she had in a long time, and she didn't want to let go of that feeling. She didn't want to let go of him. She heard him apologize quietly into her hair, and she ran her palm along his back.

The soft caress of her hand along his back was reassuring, but he still felt badly, knowing he was the source of her fear and her unrest. He gently kissed the top of her head and swallowed the impulse to offer another apology. He had been apologizing to her a lot lately.

She froze against him, then reluctantly pulled away. Brushing her hair away from her eyes, she said quietly, "Are you...ready to go?"

He nodded, feeling worse now. "Let's go."

She studied his eyes intently, then reached out and touched his hand before she headed toward the door.

Nurse Turner looked up from her computer, and her brow furrowed when she saw her patient wearing a jacket and looking like she was about to leave. She stood up. "Miss Eames, you know we wanted to keep you overnight for observation."

Alex stiffened. "I know. And I'm fine. I'm going back home so I can rest."

Bobby raised an eyebrow at his partner, but he knew that arguing with her would not serve to endear him to her in the least. He bit his lower lip for a moment, then said, "Would it help if I stayed with her and kept an eye on her?"

Alex glared at him.

Turner frowned. "I'm not sure that is such a good idea."

He didn't have to look at her to know the look on her face. "I...I know what to watch for. I'm her partner. I'll take care of her."

She tapped her fingertips against her arm. "Okay," she finally agreed. "I have some papers you'll need to sign. Then you can take her home."

He nodded. "Thank you." He still would not look at Alex.

Turner handed him the papers and a pen, while Alex went down the hall and found a bench to sit on.

He signed the papers, assuming responsibility for her. He only hoped she would let him take care of her. That would be his biggest hurdle and he had nothing to bargain with. He handed the papers back to the nurse and gave her a smile. "Thank you."

She returned his smile. "Take care of her."

"I will do my best."

Alex stood up when Bobby approached her, and she crossed her arms over her chest. "Let's go..."

He watched her walk away from him, studying her body language and he knew he was deep in trouble. Why the hell not? He hadn't been out of trouble for months.

She walked out of the hospital with him right behind her, and she easily spotted his SUV and walked over to it. Grabbing the handle, she opened the door and climbed into the passenger's side, shutting the door behind her.

He hesitated briefly before sliding behind the wheel. He backed out of the parking space and drove out of the parking lot. He debated trying to talk to her, but one glance at her told him that would be the wrong thing to do. He sighed softly and decided to keep quiet.

A half hour down the road, she finally spoke. "I can take care of myself, you know."

"I know you can."

"Then take me home. I just want to sleep, and that's all I'm going to do."

"You have a concussion. Someone has to keep an eye on you, make sure you can be easily woken every couple of hours. It doesn't matter to me which couch I hang out on, but I want to keep an eye on you."

"Damn it, Goren." She tucked her arm between her head and the window. "I just want to be alone tonight."

He decided he had nothing to lose by pushing the issue. "Then I'll turn around and you can be alone in a hospital room," he replied, trying to keep his irritation out of his tone.

She lifted her head and stared at him, her mouth slightly parted. Several miles passed before she finally said, "Fine. You can stay. Just take me home."

He felt no relief at his victory. She was still mad at him, and that never sat well with him. He rubbed his palm against the steering wheel. "Uh, are you hungry?"

"Not really," she answered quietly.

Might as well go all the way... "So...how much trouble am I in now?"

She looked at him. "You're not."

"Come on, Eames. You're pissed and it's because of me. I am responsible for your accident and now I'm forcing you to be taken care of against your will. I just...I want to know where I stand."

Her eyebrows arched in surprise. "You didn't cause my accident!"

"Why did you take off, Eames? You were upset and that contributed to it. I am responsible for you being upset, and that's why you got hurt."

"Oh, God, Bobby. The accident was my fault. I wasn't careful enough. I was thinking about..." She cleared her throat. "Something else, and I wasn't paying attention."

"You need to come clean with me, Eames."

"Now is not the time or place, Goren," she pointed out.

He clenched his jaw and focused on the road. He tried. He was just going to be quiet now.

She settled down again and stared at the road passing her, until her eyelids grew heavy and she finally fell asleep.

He pulled up in front of her apartment. A very big part of him wanted to drop her off and get going. He was upset and agitated. But he was also responsible, not only for his partner's injury, but for her welfare, and he'd given his word. That still meant something to him. "Eames," he called, gently shaking her shoulder. "We're here."

She startled awake at his touch, bumping her head against the window. Hissing in pain, she held her hand up to her head. "Are we back already?" she asked groggily after a few moments.

He bit back a reply and got out of the car, walking around to open her door for her.

She eased herself to the ground, shivering as the night air hit her. Her eyes focused on the ground, and she whispered, "I'm sorry, Bobby..."

"Don't." he grumbled. "Let's just get you inside so you can rest."

She followed him into the building, her alertness returning by the minute. When they reached her door, she pulled her keys out and handed them to him.

He opened the door and let her precede him into the apartment. "Go get ready for bed and lay down. I'll fix you some toast and tea."

Her stomach churned at the thought, but she went into her bedroom and changed, then collapsed into the bed.

Ten minutes later, he knocked on the door.

She heard him knock, but her face was buried in her pillow. Irritated, she lifted her head and said, "What?"

He knew that tone and he steeled himself for another confrontation. Opening the door slowly, he stepped into the dimly lit room and walked to her bedside, setting the small dish and cup of tea on her bedside table. "Here you are. I, uh, I'll be in every two hours to check on you, but other than that, you won't know I'm here. Good night, Eames."

At his hesitant voice, her anger dissipated. "I'm... sorry. I didn't mean to snap at you..." Her head went back down to the pillow. "I know you're just being a good partner."

He stopped in the doorway, not mollified at all by her apology. "No, Eames. I'm not. But I am trying to be your friend."

He left the room.

When the door shut, she turned her face into her pillow to hide her tears. Her shoulders shook, and her head was aching again. All she wanted was to wrap her arms around him and never let him go, but something was keeping her from doing just that. She wasn't exactly sure of what, though. She reached down and pulled her comforter over herself, but sleep wouldn't return.

He dropped onto the couch, miserable. He had no idea what to do to settle himself, and he hated like hell that she was angry with him. How the hell was he going to handle it when his mother died if he was on the outs with Eames as well? He leaned against the arm of the couch and let himself sink more deeply into the black depression that had been threatening him for months.

She rolled over and stared up at the ceiling. She saw the tea and toast out of the corner of her eye, and she sighed. Sitting up, she slowly picked up the plate and ate the toast, then drank the tea. Maybe I should just tell him, she thought, drinking the tea slowly. _The worst he can do is say no, right_? She shuddered. That was the _worst _he could say. Things would never be the same between them, and eventually he would leave. That alone would kill her. She set the plate down and stood up, pacing the room. Her body was sore, but she ignored it. There were more pressing issues that had to be dealt with, or she would never be able to be around him.

Bobby stared at the ceiling without turning the light on. It was probably a good thing that he wasn't home tonight. He would just settle himself on his couch with a bottle of scotch and drink away his pain, but that was the last thing he needed to do. So he just stared at the ceiling, his racing thoughts driving him further into the dark.

She paced for a while, then picked up the plate and carried it over to the door. Hesitating for a moment, she opened the door and slipped out of the room.

He heard her door open but he didn't react, except to drape his arm across his eyes. She wasn't likely to pay any attention to him, and he was fine with that. But he couldn't help listening for her and following her progress through the dark apartment with his sense of hearing.

She went into the kitchen and washed the dishes, then dried them and put them away. When she was finished, she made her way back into the living room and sat down in the recliner a few feet away from the couch.

He heard her sit down and he wondered what she was up to, but he didn't move and he didn't speak. He was tired of being snapped at and he couldn't take any more of that at the moment.

She pulled her knees up to her chest. "Bobby..." She thought for a long moment. "There was a reason why I left, and it's not what you're probably thinking."

He stayed where he was, waiting. If she wanted him to know, she would tell him.

"When we were... on the sidewalk... I realized something." She scrubbed her hand over her face. "And it scared me. But I'm beginning to think that it's a good thing."

He moved his arm and looked in her direction, confused. "What do you mean?" he asked tentatively.

She finally leaned forward in the chair, her hazel eyes focused completely on him. "I mean..." She took a shaky breath. "I mean that I care about you. Very much." But every time I try to talk to you about it, you get so damn scared and run away.

He continued to stare at her, his confusion still apparent. "I care about you, too, Eames."

She shook her head, but hesitated to join him on the couch. "No, not like that." She fell backward against the chair, her arm flung over her eyes. "I know you care about me. But... I love you."

He knew that she loved him; he loved her, too. He didn't get why it was suddenly an issue. "I love you, too, Eames. But...why would that freak you out?"

Her eyes widened. "B-Because...every time I try to talk to you, you just... close off."

His confusion deepened. "I...don't understand what you're talking about."

"I wanted to... talk to you about it at the diner, and at the hospital." Her eyes searched his, and she slowly stood up and sat down at the opposite end of the couch.

"What stopped you?"

She stared at the cushion between them. "Fear."

He sat up, his own misery forgotten. "Fear? What are you afraid of?"

He didn't think his partner was afraid of anything.

"I was... afraid of what you would say," she admitted quietly.

"Eames...you're not afraid to jump down my throat about things...I...I don't understand."

"This was different." She lifted her head. "It hit me...when I was driving. How stupid I was being." Her hand itched to reach out and touch him. "How much I love you."

His head was spinning and he wasn't following her. He had no answer for her. All he could do was stare at her vacantly.

She searched his eyes warily. "Bobby, say something..."

"I...don't understand." He was being redundant, but nothing else would come to him.

"Fine." She pulled away. "Understand this." She rested her hand on the back of his neck and dipped her head, brushing her lips against his. She didn't care anymore. If he was going to leave, then he was going to leave. But at least she would always have this.

When her lips brushed gently over his, his entire body tensed. What was she doing? Too stunned to react, he just sat there...until her lips pressed into his again, this time more firmly. She deepened the kiss and his brain shut down. Without the inhibitions of conscious thought to protest, he simply reacted to her, returning her kiss. His hand slipped around her and he drew her against his body, slipping his tongue past welcoming lips. She made his head spin and took his breath away.

She smiled at his eager reaction, and she slid one hand past his shirt. Her fears had been unfounded, and she should've known better than to think otherwise. His stubble came in contact with her soft skin, and she couldn't swallow a soft laugh.

"What?" he murmured against her mouth.

She shook her head. "Your beard. Don't you ever shave?"

"For you, I'll shave," he murmured with a smile, leaning in for another kiss and not allowing his brain to catch up with his body. There would be time for that later.

She grinned and caught his face in her hands, then kissed him again. Her entire body was on fire, but she didn't care. She loved the feeling. She tried to move closer, but she lost her balance and collapsed against him.

He wrapped his arms around her. "Uh...so...how hard did you hit your head?"

She grunted. "Pretty hard... That steering wheel isn't made of rubber, you know?"

He gently eased her to the couch beside him, turning toward her. "I need...I need you to think about this, Eames...about the ramifications of what you're suggesting. You know me...better than anyone does. You may be...flirting with disaster."

"I've thought about this, Bobby." She reached out and touched her hand to his cheek. "And I've thought about it some more. I'm not flirting with disaster. I'm making the smartest move of my entire life."

He looked down. "That's debatable," he murmured. He sighed softly. "But...it's your mistake to make." He raised his eyes to meet hers. "And mine to..." he trailed off, not wanting to sound like a jerk. "Never mind. Forgive me if I question your sanity, Eames."

"Bobby!" she snapped, her eyes burning.

"Face it, Eames. Being my partner has destroyed your career. Being my...lov..." He almost choked on the emotions that rose with that word. "Lover...could destroy your life."

She grabbed his face in her hands and stared him down. Gritting her teeth, she growled, "You are not a mistake. And if you ever call yourself that again..." She trailed off. "And you haven't destroyed my career. If I ever thought you were, or was superficial enough to care, I wouldn't have stayed for five years." He tried to look away, but she refused to let him retreat. "You are not a mistake, Goren. You never have been, and you never will be. Never. Do you understand me?"

He didn't answer because he didn't agree. He could not think of a single way she would benefit from the relationship she proposed. He didn't deny that he wanted her, but more than that, he wanted what was best for her. He would cherish her with all his heart, and yet, he could not rid himself of the fear that, sooner or later, he would become his father and break her heart.

"Bobby..." Her voice softened. His eyes took on a faraway look, and she kissed him briefly before rising to her feet. "I love you, Bobby. I do. But I'm tired. I've told you how I feel. Now it's all in your hands." She pointed to the bedroom. "I'm going to lay down. It's all up to you. Whatever you decide...I'll be here." She started toward the bedroom.

"Eames..."

She paused mid-step and turned her head. "What?"

"I'm sorry."

She smiled softly. "I know. I am, too."

He watched her leave the room. More than anything, he wanted to follow her, to slide into the bed beside her and love her forever. But he saw the mistake that would be, for both of them, even if she didn't. His desire to protect her overruled his desire to claim her. He sat on the couch, uncertain, and finally laid back against the arm, his mind and his body battling for supremacy, but neither was winning. He didn't know what to do...

She went quietly into the bedroom, but purposefully left the door open before she laid down in the bed. Her pounding head went back against the pillows, and she stared up at the ceiling. She could still feel his lips on hers, his hands on her skin, and no matter what, she would never be able to wash away the memories.

He couldn't say if he drifted off or not, but he was up two and a half hours later. He had to check on Eames. Regardless of his personal turmoil, he had a responsibility to her well-being. He walked down the hallway, surprised to find her door open. She never left it open when he spent the night. Remembering the heat she stirred in him when she kissed him, he struggled to calm his body and keep himself under control as he entered her room. "Eames?"

She stirred and groaned softly at the tentative voice. Forcing her eyes open, she muttered, "Yeah? I'm awake..."

"That's all I need to hear. Good night."

She was suddenly wide awake, and as his shadow disappeared, she hesitantly called out his name. "Bobby?"

He stopped in the hallway, but didn't return to the bedroom. "What is it, Eames?"

When he didn't walk back into the room, she let out a silent sigh. "Never mind." She burrowed down further into the blankets.

He hesitated, wanting to go to her but knowing what a huge mistake that would be. He returned to the couch.

She bit her lip as she heard him retreat to the living room. He loved her. But if he was really telling her the truth, why didn't he come into the room? She sighed. She shouldn't have said anything in the first place. But then again, she wasn't sure that she could have kept it a secret for much longer. Maybe he thought it was all a side affect of the concussion and was just humoring her. Maybe he figured she wouldn't remember any of it in the morning. She touched her fingertips to her lips as tears dripped down her cheeks. Sleep was beginning to beckon, and she fought it at first. But the pain, both emotional and physical, was something she needed to escape, if only for a few hours. She closed her eyes.

Another two restless hours passed, and he returned to her bedroom door. "Eames?"

She stirred reluctantly from her sleep. "What, Bobby?"

"I'm sorry I bothered you...go back to sleep." He felt guilty for waking her but he knew he had to. "S-sorry," he repeated, and he wasn't apologizing just for waking her.

She was half asleep, and she whispered, "Love you." Then she drifted off again.

He stood there for a long moment. "I'm sorry for that, too," he whispered. "But I love you, too."

Reluctantly he went back to the couch.

Two hours later, a disturbing dream forced Alex from her sleep, and she sat upright in the bed. Swinging her legs over the side of the mattress, she stood up wobbly and walked out of the room. In the dim light, she could make out Bobby's sleeping form on the couch, and for a brief moment, she was tempted to wake him. But she thought better of it, and instead headed into the kitchen for a glass of water.

He heard her moving around and got up. Still groggy with sleep, he stood in the doorway and watched her, and he felt guilty for his doubts. She was free of that kind of burden, but she didn't have the same demons he did.

She started when she heard him, and she turned to face him. "Sorry," she murmured. "I didn't mean to wake you up. I'm going back to bed in a minute."

"I had to get up to check on you anyway."

She nodded and finished the glass, then set it in the sink. "Well, I'm fine. I'm going back to bed now." She started to walk past him.

He reached out and grabbed her arm. Silently, he leaned over and softly kissed her. "I do love you," he whispered. "More than you will ever know."

Her arms went around his neck, and she leaned into him. "I love you, too..."

When her body pressed into his, he was done. His resolve crumbled and he drew her firmly against him, losing himself in a deep kiss. Unconsciously, he moved with her, not sure if he was leading or following, and not particularly caring. He aimed for the couch, but she had other plans and steered him down the hallway toward the bedroom. He offered no resistance. He loved her.

She led him into the bedroom, relieved when he seemed eager to follow her. She didn't bother turning the lights on as she pulled him down onto the bed and kissed him gently.

He groaned and gave himself over to her. Fighting it was useless. As strongly as he felt for her, knowing she felt the same...he slipped his hands beneath her shirt, determined to chase away the soreness from her muscles and the throbbing from her head. He knew how to make a woman forget everything, and that was what he did to her.

Her hands laid at her sides for several moments, until she finally got tired of being still and grabbed the bottom of his shirt. Kissing him softly to distract him, she untucked his shirt and slid her hands under the soft material.

His body trembled when her fingers began to caress him and he groaned into her mouth. "Oh, baby..."

She smirked and grabbed the front of his pants, then slowly undid the button and slid the zipper down.

He gasped and gently bit her lower lip. Struggling to maintain control, he murmured, "Are...you...sure...?"

"When have I ever been unsure?" she retorted, retaliating by rolling his pants off of his hips.

He was finished. There was no going back now. He was committed...and maybe in the morning he would question his sanity again...but for now, nothing mattered to him more than the woman beneath him as she teased his body and removed his clothes with agonizing slowness. He didn't have that kind of reserve, not with her. She was already naked and he was enjoying every inch of exposed skin more than he ever imagined he could.

She ran her hands over his shoulders, enjoying the view of his body. But she realized that she was hanging halfway off of the bed, and she groaned and wrapped her hands around his forearms. Pulling herself backwards, she whispered, "Come on."

Confused, he tripped over himself, in more ways than one. "Uh, where?"

She continued backwards until she was against the pillows. Then she held her arms out for him. "Here."

He finished pulling off his jeans and covered her with his body. She was more than ready for him, and he was anxious to accommodate her. It caused him a great deal of discomfort to continue slowly, so that she would benefit most from the hormones in her system to chase away her pain, but he would die for her. For a while, he thought he might.

Her arms went around his neck, and she buried her face in his neck as he slowly entered her. She never thought that she would have this with him, but now she did, and she was never going to let him go again. She didn't care what he said. She would chase his demons away permanently, no matter what it took.

He nipped and kissed her skin as he slowly moved inside her, stroking slowly for as long as he could, before he was compelled to move faster. His breath came in short pants and quiet groans as he struggled to hold back, waiting for her response.

She buried her hands in his hair and groaned softly, clinging to him as tightly as she could.

He shifted his position, to afford her a different angle of stimulation, and his tongue sought the soft and sensitive areas of her neck and behind her ears. His fingers teased her breasts and stroked her skin, and he got the response he was looking for.

"Damn, Goren," she breathed, shivering. "Where the hell did you learn that?"

"You...don't want to know," he answered, breathless but with a smile.

She snickered and continued to move against him, until she was standing on the edge of her own abyss. And with little prodding from him, she fell over and collapsed back against the pillows, trying to catch her breath.

Only then was he able to relax and give himself over to his own release. It was intense and powerful, and he pulled her tight against him as he came back from it. "Oh, my God," he whispered. "I...love you."

"I love you, too," she whispered, gently rubbing his shoulder. She brushed her lips against his, then his nose, and she smiled softly.

"Have we lost our minds?" he whispered as he stroked her skin, enjoying the shiver he drew from her.

"If we have, I don't want mine back."

"There's no going back," he murmured.

"Did I ever say I wanted to?" She snuggled closer to him.

Her fingers caressed his hip and he groaned. "If you keep that up," he warned. "You're asking for trouble."

"Maybe I like trouble..." She leaned over and kissed him.

"It's going to be coming your way, full steam, and this is your last warning. So if your head hurts, and you want to sleep, now is your chance, baby."

"Screw sleep." She gave that a thought. "No, I'd rather screw you."

He laughed, a husky sound, and turned into her, accepting her kisses and trying to bring her back to arousal before she got him there. He won...but only just barely.

TBC...

A/N: Well, did everyone enjoy that nice little smut scene? I know we enjoyed writing it. There are some twists and turns coming up in the next chapter, so please remember to review, and we'll post again soon.


	26. Takeout

Wow, this turned into a much longer chapter than I originally planned. But I think ya'll will be very satisfied where the chapter does end. This chapter is definitely M in several parts, for those crazy bunny activities that our detectives love so much! Enjoy, and please remember to review!

Disclaimer: Good grief, people! If ya'll think that these wonderful characters are ours, PLEASE SEEK IMMEDIATE ATTENTION! Hahaha.

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_Something was grabbing her and holding her tight, nearly cutting off her air supply. She clawed at the invisible hands, but to no avail. She gagged and tried to scream when she saw the haunting green eyes leering over her..._

Mike woke with a start when she yelled incoherently. He looked around the room and remembered where they were and why. He had no idea how to comfort her, so he waited.

She tossed her head to the side and balled her hands into fists. "God, no..." Her eyes fluttered and finally opened, and she stared at the white ceiling. She didn't remember where she was or how she had gotten there, but she knew one thing. Mike had to be close. She managed to choke out his name. "Mike..."

"Right here, Carolyn."

She jumped slightly and searched frantically for him, relaxing slightly when she saw him sitting by the bed.

"You okay now?"

She swallowed thickly and reached out, finding his hand with hers. She gripped it tightly and refused to go, even as sleep swept over her again.

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The first rays of sun cascaded into the room through the window as Alex stirred. Her head pounded, and she groaned softly and tried to move her hand to touch her head. But something prevented it, and she looked down to see Bobby's arm draped over her middle, keeping her arm pinned at her side. She smiled softly and kissed the top of his head, where it rested on her shoulder.

He stirred, alert enough to pull her closer before he faded back to sleep.

She freed a hand and stroked his soft hair lovingly. "Mine." Her fingers threaded through his thick hair. She didn't want to wake him up, but she was already ready for him again, and her fingertips danced lightly over his skin.

He groaned softly and slowly opened his eyes. Studying her from under hooded lids he gave her a warm smile that quickly became more heated as she continued to stroke his skin.

"Morning," she whispered, pulling him closer.

He kissed her. "Morning. How do you feel?"

"Fine." Her head was still hurting a little, but she didn't think it was worth mentioning. "Did you sleep well?"

"Not until I came in here."

She smiled gently and ran her hand over his back. "I'm glad you came in here. It was making me crazy."

"What was?"

"You in there." She kissed him again. "Me in here. It's a long ten steps."

He laughed softly. Then he sighed. "Are you sure about this, Alex?"

"Yes." She traced her thumb lightly along his lips. "I am."

"I'm...not, but...I am willing to give it a try. I...uh, I want this, but I don't want to lose you. Ever."

"You're not going to lose me, baby." She was shocked at how easily the term of endearment slipped from her lips, but she brushed it off. "I promise. You're not going to lose me."

He became thoughtful. "You have no idea what I'm like to live with, you know."

She quirked an eyebrow. "Maybe not. But to be fair, you don't know what I'm like to live with, either."

He smiled. "You don't like to be woken before you're ready. You're a little grouchy before your first cup of coffee. You talk in your sleep sometimes. You like to laugh. You make me laugh."

She returned his smile. "You make me laugh, too. You're a notorious neat freak, you're just as bad without your coffee, and I have it on good authority you can be a bit of a goofball."

"Really? Who's authority?"

"Mine."

"When have you known me to be a goofball?"

"Plenty of times." She snuggled closer to him. "One of my favorite times was right after we started working together, and you were dancing around the interrogation room."

"Ah, well...that's all an act, you know. I am...a lot more serious than that, most of the time."

"Hmm..." She suddenly flipped him onto his back and grabbed his sides, an act she had discovered last night that would make him laugh. She loved to hear him laugh, and she never could get enough of it.

He couldn't help laughing and he tickled her back, chasing her over to her side of the bed, where he pinned her to the mattress with his body. He looked into her eyes and gave her a hungry kiss.

Her arms twined around his neck, and she rubbed his shoulder soothingly. "I love you, but we should probably go to the hospital soon." She turned her head and looked at the clock. "Maybe in an hour."

He frowned with concern. "H-hospital? What's wrong?"

She gently shushed him and cupped his face in her hands. "Nothing," she soothed. "But I want to know how Carolyn's doing."

He relaxed. "Oh...yeah...okay...I guess we should get ready then."

She nodded and slowly slid out of his arms, then lowered herself to the floor and headed for the bathroom. When she didn't hear him behind her, she turned back to the bed. "Hey... Are you coming or not?"

He closed his eyes at her chosen terminology. "Not anytime soon," he answered, grinning.

She rolled her eyes. "Fine. I guess I can take care of myself. I am a big girl, after all..."

He appeared in the doorway. "Just what needs taking care of?"

She shrugged. "Nothing." She turned and headed into the bathroom.

Stealthily, he came up behind her, wrapping his arms around her and leaning down to nuzzle her neck.

She shrieked in delighted surprise, then pushed his arms away and climbed into the shower. "I said I can take care of myself," she retorted, sticking her tongue out at him.

He raised an eyebrow at her and poked his head into the shower. He said nothing, more than content to watch.

She felt his piercing eyes on her body, and she pretended to ignore him as she stepped under the steaming stream, reveling in the hot water as it hit her body. She moaned quietly as her eyes fluttered closed.

When she began to wash, running her hands over her wet body, it was more than he could take and he drew back, returning to the bedroom before he exploded. He sat on the bed and began to slowly count.

She heard him leave, and her eyebrows raised. Finishing the shower, she quickly grabbed a towel and followed him back into the bedroom. She leaned against the wall and watched him carefully. "What? You didn't want a shower?" she asked slyly.

"Damn you, Eames." He got up, walked to her, and pulled her into his arms, kissing her deeply. He steered her back toward the bed, tossing the towel away and exploring her mouth and her body with growing urgency.

"You're... no fun..." she hissed as he gently pushed her down onto the bed and back against the pillows. She quickly pulled his boxers off and ran her hands over his hips. "I'm going to need another shower..."

"No fun? Allow me to change your mind." He began to explore her body with hands and mouth, relishing her response to him, allowing it to fuel his desire for her.

"Ahh..." She tossed her head to the side. "I meant... no fun... when you wouldn't... get in the shower with me..." She groaned softly.

He didn't reply. He was busy working her up to the point he wanted her at. She wasn't there yet, so he kept going.

She grumbled slightly, but it was quickly followed by a gasp. "Bobby..." She was putty in his hands, and he knew it.

A gasp was good, but he wanted more. A lot more...

She trembled beneath him, her hands reaching out and burying themselves in his hair. He was pushing her to the edge, and she was enjoying every delicious inch of it.

She delighted in teasing him, and he was getting back a little of his own, bringing her tauntingly close to the edge she sought, but not quite pushing her over. He was enjoying it as much as she seemed to be, and so he continued.

Minutes later, she was tired of his teasing, so she raised her head and kissed him. Knowing he wouldn't suspect it, she wrapped her legs around his waist and flipped him onto his back. Then she sank down on him quickly, her hands coming to rest on his chest.

It was his turn to gasp. He had not expected that from her but he loved it, and she finished them both off in no time at all. "God...you're gonna kill me if you keep that up, Eames."

She settled herself on his chest, breathing deeply. "Maybe that was my intention," she teased wickedly.

He kissed her and closed his eyes. "Let's just stay here for a while...please."

Her heart melted all over again, and she nodded, then reached over and grabbed her comforter. Without moving off of his chest, she pulled it over them and snuggled against him. "Okay."

"Thank you," he whispered, drawing her as close as he could get her. He closed his eyes and absently stroked her skin until he surrendered to sleep.

She watched him tumble into sleep, but she refused to doze off herself. She just wanted to watch him, to know that he was still there, and that she could reach out and touch him whenever she wanted to. And she did just that. Her fingertips glided easily over his cheek and lips. "I love you, Bobby."

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Carolyn was sitting on the bed and playing with her hands, her eyes refusing to meet Mike's. Any minute one of the SVU detectives would be there, and she was already upset about that. The one detective she actually wanted to talk to was unavailable, and even though they had promised they were sending someone very qualified, she was very uncertain. She didn't even want to talk to anyone about it, but Mike wanted her to, and she knew that she'd have to tell someone eventually, if only so they could catch the bastard who had raped her. She sighed softly.

Mike had no idea how he could help her and he found himself wishing Bobby and Alex were there. Alex would better be able to connect with Carolyn than he could, and he sure could use Bobby's support and reassurance that he was doing the right thing. He wondered where they were; he expected them to have come back. Then his thoughts turned to the imminent arrival of the detective from SVU. He knew that Carolyn wanted to talk to John Munch, but he was hoping they would send Benson. Somehow, he thought she would have an easier time talking to a female detective. He ran his fingers through his thick hair and continued to worry.

Her hand went through her hair, and she shuddered at the greasy feel. Blowing out a breath, she turned her head slightly and looked at him. "Do you... do you think they'll let me get a shower now?" she asked quietly.

"I don't see why not, but wait till SVU talks to you. They should have gotten all their evidence last night."

She nodded, her breath catching when there was a knock on the door.

Mike walked across the room and opened the door. He frowned at the detective who stood there and stepped out into the hall. His eyes narrowed. "That's my partner in there, Stabler. Treat her right."

Elliot Stabler frowned at him. "She's a rape victim, Logan. I know how to treat victims, even when they're cops."

Logan glared at him for a moment longer, then went back into the room, giving silent consent for Stabler to follow him.

Carolyn relaxed as Mike walked back into the room, but a frown marred her features when Stabler walked in behind him. She wasn't sure about any of this, and now her stomach was churning. She knew his reputation, both for being an aggressive cop and someone who was good with victims. But she was still wary.

"Hello, Detective Barek. I'm Elliot Stabler."

"I know," she said quietly, sitting upright in the bed.

"Do you want your partner to stay for this?"

She looked over at Mike, fear evident in her eyes. She nodded. "Yes."

Stabler looked at Logan, uncertain, but he deferred to Carolyn's wishes.

There was no way she wanted him to leave. She shifted uncomfortably and rubbed her wrist. "I just... want to get this over with," she said quietly.

"I understand," he said gently. "Let's get on with it, then. Tell me what you remember."

She swallowed thickly and looked to Mike for reassurance. When she found it, she began to talk softly. "I was... walking home, and he grabbed me as I went by an alley. I fought... but he grabbed me and threw me onto the ground." Her eyes dropped to her lap. "He pushed my jeans down, and he...he..."

"Keep going," Stabler encouraged. "I know it's difficult, but it's important."

She wrapped her arms around herself and took a deep breath to dispel her tears. "He r-raped me...And when he was finished...I couldn't even move. I don't remember... anything after that..."

"Can you describe what he looked like?"

Her stomach revolted. "I know who he is," she whispered, clamping her eyes shut.

Mike sat up straight in his chair. "What?"

She started a little at Mike's loud question. "His name... I know what his name is..." _Because I saw him on T.V. in my hallucination._ How was she going to explain that?

Stabler glared at Mike, then returned his attention to Carolyn. "Who is he?"

"His name... is Brad Cummings," she answered hoarsely.

Stabler wrote in his notepad. "You know this guy?"

She gritted her teeth in frustration. "No. Test the DNA that he left inside of me! That should be enough proof!"

"No? You don't know him, but you know who he is...?"

Tears welled in her eyes. "No, I don't know him. But that shouldn't matter. I can I.D. him, and you have his... his... semen!" she spat out.

"Okay...calm down. We'll definitely get the DNA results. For the record, though, could you give me a description, please?"

She sagged back against the pillows and closed her eyes, overwhelmed. "Uh, he had...green eyes, and dark hair. He was about six one or six two, and..." She gulped when she suddenly remembered a forgotten detail. She pointed to her neck, touching the area. "He had...he had a small... a small tattoo of an M on his n-neck..."

"Very good. Anything else?"

She blew out a frustrated breath. "No."

"So that's all you remember?"

"Yes." Her skin was crawling, and all she wanted to do was to take a shower, curl up in the bed, and never crawl out again.

"Good job, detective. I'll see what I can get on this Cummings character, and we will be in touch. Thank you."

She felt a small wave of relief when he stood up, and she laid back against the pillows, then turned onto her side to hide her tears.

Stabler looked at Logan, resentment evident in his face. But he said nothing, turning and walking out of the room.

She heard the door close, and her body finally went slack with relief. Reaching down, she grabbed the blanket and pulled it up to her shoulders, though she had no intentions of sleeping.

Mike watched her, even more uncertain now than he'd been earlier. He didn't know what to say, and he certainly knew better than to touch her. So he sat in the chair, dwelling on the uncomfortable silence between them and waiting for her to give him the okay to speak.

She laid there for a little while, unsure of everything. Finally she spoke quietly. "Mike?"

"Yeah?"

She finally turned over onto her opposite side so she could see him. "Thanks."

He smiled at her. "I wish I could have done more. You're absolutely certain about who did this?"

She pushed herself up on her elbow. "Yes. I am."

"Brad Cummings," he repeated.

"Yes."

Mike nodded. He was not going to forget that name...and neither, he was certain, would his buddy...

She knew that look in his eyes, and she chewed her lip. "Mike, please don't..."

He paid her no mind. He knew what he had to do and he knew exactly where to go for help doing it.

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Bobby reclined on the couch, satisfied and comfortable. Alex was taking her shower, and he felt it only right to give her privacy. He'd invaded her space enough over the course of the day. And just the thought of those invasions made him smile and stirred him back toward arousal. He came to the conclusion that she was going to be the death of him.

He recognized the knock at the door, and he got up to answer it. He was prepared to give Mike some good-natured ribbing, until he saw his friend's face. "What happened?"

"Plenty. You busy?"

"Not at the moment. C'mon in."

Mike walked past him into the living room. "Where's your partner?"

"In the shower."

"Good. That'll give us a few minutes. I know who raped Carolyn, buddy."

Bobby frowned.

"How? There's no way DNA is back."

"She ID'ed him."

"She knows who did it?"

"Yeah. She refused to tell us how she knows but she's absolutely certain."

Bobby frowned. "And you went in to the squad room..."

Mike nodded. "And I found his miserable ass."

Bobby looked down the hallway. "So...where is he?"

"Apartment over in Bed-Stuy."

"When are we going?"

Alex walked out of the bathroom, a towel wrapped around her loosely. Unaware that Mike was in the apartment, she leaned against the wall and called, "Bobby, I'm done...And I'm not tired anymore..."

Mike's eyebrows arched toward the ceiling and he looked at Bobby, who had the decency to blush. "Um...we...we have c-company..." he stammered.

She froze, a blush creeping over her face. Silently she disappeared back into the bedroom, slamming the door behind herself.

"Ah, shit..." Bobby groaned.

Mike started laughing. "You son of a bitch..."

"Shut up." He walked to the hallway. "Alex, I'm gonna go out for a little while. I'll be back later...if you want me back."

She opened the door, fully dressed, and caught his arm. "A little warning would have been nice," she hissed.

"Sorry. I was...involved in the conversation." He kissed her cheek. "We're going to Brooklyn. I'll see you in a couple of hours."

"Why are you going to Brooklyn? What's in Brooklyn?" she asked, touching her hand to his cheek.

"We just have to see someone." He mouthed 'love you' and motioned to Mike. "Let's go."

Her cell phone began vibrating against her hip, and she pulled it out and flipped it open. Reading it quickly, her brow furrowed.

Mike and Bobby left the apartment. "Move it," Bobby growled. "Before she has a chance to think about it."

"Why? Can she read your mind?"

"Damn near. Stairs."

She grabbed her jacket and slung it over her shoulders, then grabbed her shoes and keys. Those stupid sons of bitches... She was going to kill them. She jogged out of the apartment, slamming the door behind herself.

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Mike pulled the car up in front of a brick apartment building and stared up at the windows. "Third floor. You ready to teach this bastard a lesson?"

Bobby's face was darker than Mike had ever seen it. "Let's go."

They climbed three flights of stairs and found the apartment. Bobby pounded on the door and they waited for Cummings to answer.

Brad heard pounding on the door, and he sighed as he stood up and walked across the floor. Cracking the door open, he eyed the two men. "Yes? Can I help you?"

Mike kicked the door open. "Actually, we're here to help you, pal."

He stared at them. "What the hell's your problem?"

"Not us, asshole. We don't cause problems...we fix 'em."

His frown turned into a glare, and he pointed at the door. "I don't know who you two think you are, but you can get the hell out of my apartment."

Bobby held out his badge. "You were identified by the woman you raped yesterday."

He crossed his arms over his chest. "What are you talking about? I didn't rape anyone."

Mike sneered at him. "Nice try, asshole. That's what they all say."

"I didn't," he repeated slowly and loudly.

Mike shoved him. "I don't like being lied to."

Brad stumbled backwards. "That's police brutality, you son of a bitch!"

Mike's mouth turned up in a sneer. "You think so? You ain't seen nothin' yet."

He swung hard.

Alex slammed on her brakes as she reached the parking lot of Cumming's apartment, her sneakers pounding against the pavement as she ran into the building. She didn't bother with the elevator, and instead opted for the stairs. She knew that she had to get there before they did something that they would regret. Finally reaching the third floor, she recognized the sounds of fighting as she searched for his apartment. The door was open, and she ran in. "Goren! Logan!"

Cummings hit Logan square in the jaw, driving him to his knees. He kicked him square in the chest, knocking the breath from him, and Goren took him out with a blow to the jaw.

Alex pushed herself between them, fire in her eyes as she pressed her hands against Bobby's chest. "Goren! Knock it off, now!"

Breathing hard, he stopped himself when she came into his line of vision, drawing some sanity back into his brain. "E-Eames?"

Her hands moved to his shoulders, and she nodded. "Yeah. I'm right here. Stop it."

He struggled for a moment, then pulled away from her and moved to Logan, helping him to his feet.

Patting his arm, she tilted her head in Cumming's direction. "That him?"

"Yeah," he answered.

She nodded and stalked over to Cummings. Easily shoving him against the wall, she pulled his arms behind his back and pulled out her cuffs. "Brad Cummings, you are under arrest for the rape of Carolyn Barek. You have the right to remain silent-"

Before she could get out the rest, Cummings whipped around and shoved her away, then raised his hand.

Before he could bring his hand down, Goren hit him, crashing into the wall with him. Drywall crumbled and Cummings dropped like a rock. Bobby backed off, eyes still glowing with fury.

Shaking off her shock, Alex stormed over, kneeling down and planting one knee in Cumming's back. Yanking his arms behind him, she slammed the cuffs onto his wrists and tightened them as much as she could before standing up again.

Bobby grabbed Cummings' arm as Logan stepped up to the other side and grabbed his other arm. "You heard the lady," Mike growled. "You're under arrest, slimeball."

Brad sent Alex a blood curling look, but wisely said nothing.

Bobby slammed the heel of his hand into Cummings' temple. "Don't look at her that way. You got a problem, you take it out on me."

Alex grabbed Bobby's hand and pushed it away. "Stop, Bobby," she said calmly. Then she drove her own fist into Cummings' stomach.

Bobby's mouth quirked into a brief smile, then he jerked Cummings toward the door. "Let's go."

Mike hooked his ankle around the suspect's and the man went down. "What a clod...better be careful on those stairs, man..."

Bobby's attention was diverted, and Alex rubbed her shoulder discreetly. She wasn't about to let on, but she was probably going to have a bruise. She followed them out of the apartment.

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Alex shook a little as she stepped into the bathroom and shut the door behind her. The adrenaline was wearing off, and she could see the large, red handprint that Cummings had left on her shoulder. She touched it warily, then reached into the shower and turned it on. The room began to fill with steam, and she slowly stepped in.

Mike and Bobby took Cummings in and let Stabler book him. Mike was ready to tear the guy apart but Bobby's cooler head prevailed and they turned him over to Stabler and Benson. They got mixed reactions from the SVU detectives, and both men knew they would be hearing from Deakins bright and early.

Bobby had told Alex to go to his place, since it was closer, and he would meet her there. He'd rather face Deakins, because he knew Alex was pissed and he hated it when she was mad at him. In hindsight, it was probably not the brightest thing he and Mike had ever done, but he couldn't let Mike go after the guy alone. It was a choice of the lesser of two evils and he chose to back up his friend. Alex was still going to have his ass for it.

He let himself in to the apartment and heard the shower running. A short reprieve... He went into the kitchen and got a beer, then sat on the couch to await his fate.

She stepped out of the shower slowly, taking her time getting dressed in a pair of sweatpants and a baggy T-shirt. She had heard him come in, and she was infuriated. Sweeping her hair up with a loose clip, she came out of the bedroom, her arms crossed over her chest. "What were you thinking?"

He looked at the beer bottle. "I was thinking I couldn't let Mike go after the guy alone, that's what."

"And what if I hadn't shown up? What if you two had done more damage? Then what?"

"He wouldn't be raping any more women," he snapped.

"And you two would be in jail, Goren!"

His own anger rose to meet hers. "A small price to pay, Eames. But thanks for saving us."

Her own voice turned cold. "It's good to know where we stand with you two. Thanks for opening my eyes."

He drained the beer and got up, heading back to the kitchen for another. "Happy to oblige, partner," he answered. In contrast to Eames, his voice was hot with anger.

She followed him into the kitchen. "You really would have put us through that hell, just for revenge?"

"Revenge? Is that what you think I'm about?"

"You just admitted it. You would have gone to jail over killing him."

He let out a heavy breath and hung his head for a moment. When he spoke again, his voice was cold and distant. "You don't know me as well as I thought you did."

She breathed shakily, fighting to keep her anger under control. "No, I guess I don't. You were stupid enough to go after him. I don't understand it."

"Logan, Eames. Do you honestly think I would have let him kill the guy? I was with him to prevent that. I would have thought you, of all people, would have known that. Yes, I'm in trouble with him. But Cummings is alive because I was there. I don't deny hitting him. But I didn't let Logan lose control. That's why I went with him."

He walked past her, tossing the bottle cap at the trash can as he went.

She rested her hands on the countertop, torn. A few moments dragged by, and finally she made up her mind. Going after him, she grabbed his shoulders and pushed him into the bedroom. At the confused look in his eyes, she shook her head. "I know. I'm sorry. I just... I was terrified...I could have lost you, over that piece of shit." She gently pushed him back against the wall.

"Give me some credit, Eames," he answered, letting her hold him against the wall. "When have you ever known me to be a hothead?"

She shook her head. "Never. And that's... one of the things I love about you."

"So why would tonight be any different?" he asked, anger deflated.

"Because he raped..." She swallowed the word lover. "Carolyn, and you were pissed. Anger can do that to anyone."

"Carolyn and I aren't together any more. You know that. I still care about her, yes. And I was pissed, yes. Mad enough to arrest the guy, but in control enough to keep Logan from doing something stupid. Don't you trust me?"

She didn't have to think abut that. "You know I do."

"So why didn't you trust me tonight? Because Carolyn and I were once lovers?"

Her hands fell from his shoulders to her sides. He knew where her insecurities were, and he knew just where to poke a sharp stick. But she kept her calm and shook her head. "No."

"Lying doesn't suit you, Eames. And there's only one person on the planet who can make me lose my head." He leaned closer. "And that's you."

She turned away from him and walked over to the bed, sitting down with a quiet sigh. "I followed you two because I didn't want either of you to do something you would regret. Not because I don't trust you. I just wanted to protect you."

"You mean the way I always try to protect you and get my head bitten off for it?"

She gave a small shrug with the wrong shoulder, and was reminded of the sore spot.

He saw her flinch and immediately became concerned. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," she answered, slightly irritated, but mostly at herself.

"Dammit, don't lie to me!"

He grabbed her arm and pulled the shirt off her shoulder, releasing her immediately and backing away from her.

She pulled her shirt back up. "You can't leave anything alone, can you?"

He continued moving back away from her, the look on his face darkening. He didn't ask where she had gotten the bruise. He knew.

She turned on him fully. She knew that look on his face. "Don't even think about it, Bobby."

He shook his head slowly, then turned and walked away.

She followed him, grabbing his arm. "Don't, Goren. Let the justice system deal with him."

He turned on her. "The justice system? Are you serious?" He pulled his arm from her. "Don't wait up for me."

"Damn you, Bobby." She stared at him for a moment longer, then turned around and headed back into the bedroom.

He left the apartment, pulling out his phone as he went down the stairs.

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Carolyn was tired and worried as she packed her gym bag. Against her doctor's wishes, she had checked herself out of the hospital. She was tired of sitting there and being afraid. She knew that Mike had gone after Cummings, and she was going out of her mind with worry and fear.

She zipped up the bag and slung it over her shoulder, then slid her feet into her shoes. She had tried to call Mike, but he hadn't picked up, and it only fueled her worry. _Please, don't do anything stupid,_ she thought as she headed out of the room.

She didn't have any money for a cab when she reached the sidewalk outside the hospital, but her destination was close enough, so she walked. And as she crossed the street, she was wary of any and all cars.

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Mike pulled out his phone as he stepped off the elevator on the floor where Carolyn was a patient. "Hey, what's up?"

He listened to Goren as he entered Carolyn's room. "So you're headed back to SVU? You're nuts. They'll never let you near the guy."

He stopped dead in his tracks at the sight of the empty bed. "Um..." He crossed to the bed, looked under it and then went to the window, looking out on the ledge. He checked the bathroom and the closet. "Did Carolyn talk to you today?"

"No. She hasn't talk to me since I left the ER."

"She's not here, man, and neither is her stuff."

"She was discharged."

"And didn't call for a ride?"

"Cab, stupid."

"I don't like this."

"What do you like?"

Mike glared at the phone. "If I figure out an answer to that I'll call you. I'm going to find my partner. I suggest you go back to yours and let Stabler deal with Cummings. I'll call you later."

Mike went out to the nurses' station and questioned Carolyn's nurse about her discharge. "She left AMA, detective."

Mike frowned. "Damn. She didn't want to be here in the first place. Now I have to go and find her." He turned and walked away from the desk, unhappy and talking to himself.

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Her hair was damp and her hands were shaking as she slid the key into the lock. It fit easily, and the door turned with no resistance in her hand. She cautiously stepped inside, slowly looking around the apartment.

She had been there before once or twice, so she made her way over to the couch and sat down, resting her elbows on her knees. She had told Mike that she wasn't going to run to North Carolina, and she wasn't. She just needed to go somewhere familiar, somewhere safe. And right now, that was here.

Turning her head slightly, she realized that she had left the door unlocked, and her heart began to pound. Quickly, she rose to her feet and walked back to the door, locking it quickly.

Feeling slightly better, she walked back to the couch and sat back down. Her exhaustion was getting the better of her, and she looked around the apartment again. There were three doors, and as she stood stiffly, she realized that the open one led into the bathroom. She walked over to one of the closed doors and slowly pushed it open, relieved when she realized that it led into his bedroom.

The room had few personal belongings that she could see, but the bed looked comfortable, and she couldn't contain a small snicker. She was sure he wouldn't mind if she laid down for a nap. Reaching out, she pulled his comforter back, dissolving into laughter when she saw his silk sheets. She knew his reputation, but this amused her. She ran her hand over the silk, shuddering at the feel. Then she climbed into the bed, settling back against the numerous pillows.

She turned onto her side, surprised when her eyes fell on a picture on his nightstand. Reaching out, she touched it with her fingertips. They were both smiling, and she couldn't figure out who had taken it. But it made her heart jump to know that he kept something like that so close to him.

Her eyelids grew heavy, and she sighed softly, pulling the comforter over herself. The bed smelled like him, and she found it extremely comforting as she drifted off to sleep.

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Carolyn was startled awake when she heard a door slam, and for a terrifying moment, she couldn't remember where she was. But a few moments passed, and it all flooded back. She had left the hospital, AMA, and now she was in Mike's bed.

Mike came into the apartment and debated what to do next. He wasn't at all sure where to look, but he knew he had to find her.

She slowly swung her legs over the side of the bed, then rose to her feet. Warily, she walked to the door and opened it, poking her head out to look around the apartment.

He heard the bedroom door squeak and he spun toward it, hand on the butt of his gun. When he saw that it was her, he relaxed...and then he got mad. "I was worried sick...what are you doing here?"

She gave a small shrug. "I told you I wasn't going to run. I just... wanted to go somewhere familiar..."

"So you came here?"

She nodded a little. "Yeah..."

He rubbed a hand through his hair. She was almost as infuriating... "Fine...go on and lay down, Carolyn."

"What did I do?" she asked, her mouth dry. "I just...wanted to feel like I was actually safe! If that's a problem, I'll leave." She walked out of the bedroom completely.

"Don't go...stay, feel safe. At least I'll know where you are. I'll leave."

She stopped dead in her tracks. "No. Don't go anywhere." She walked over to the couch and sat down.

"Don't tell me what to do, Barek. I am not going to stay here and fight with you."

She looked up at him, confusion clear in her dark eyes. She didn't know what was wrong with him, but she didn't have to take that. She stood up and walked over to the door, picking up her dufflebag. "Fine. I'll go."

"Do I fucking speak English?"

His sudden anger had her at a loss for words, and she turned her head. "Goodbye, Mike."

"Go. Run away. It's what you did to Goren. Why should I expect any better?"

She shook her head slowly. "Of all people... I thought you would understand." Her hand rested on the doorknob. "I just came here because I wanted to be close to you, the one person who actually...makes me feel...safe. I was going to call you, but I was exhausted and I fell asleep. I'm sorry."

"You think that makes everything better? You think running from your problems solves them?"

Fire blazed in her eyes. "I didn't run away, Logan!" she snapped. "Am I in North Carolina? No, I'm not. Forgive me for loving you and wanting to be near you! What the hell is the matter with me?"

"You have been running away for a long time. You ran away from him, you ran away from me, you ran away from the hospital...You want me to go on?"

"Damn it, I didn't run away from you! I'm here, aren't I? Sorry if I didn't feel like being poked and prodded some more!"

He threw his hands up in defeat. "Go take a damn nap." He pulled her from the door and gently shoved her toward the bedroom. "And don't fucking leave. If you're not here when I get back, there will be nothing to fix. And all of Eames' threats and Goren's genius won't be able to make it right."

He yanked the door open and left, slamming it behind him.

She stared at the closed door for several minutes, her cheeks burning and her eyes filled with tears that her stubborn pride refused to let fall. Slowly she walked over to the couch and sat down, her head buried in her hands as her entire body began to shake.

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Carolyn was pacing the living room, her hand on her head. She hadn't slept at all the previous night, her feelings torn between wanting to run, and wanting to keep whatever it was that she had with her partner. Tears began to burn again, and she finally collapsed onto the couch.

It was midday when he returned to his apartment, after spending the night and all morning getting over his anger and frustration with her tendency to run away from real problems.

Finally she moved off of the couch, then picked up her bag. Carrying it back to the couch, she pulled her hair away from her face and into a ponytail. Then she began going through the items in the bag.

He opened the door, surprised to find her there. "You're still here."

She jumped a little at the sudden noise. Clearing her throat, she kept her eyes on what she was doing. "Yeah, I am."

He studied her for a moment. "And what makes this different?"

"I love you."

He wasn't sure how to take that. "You don't know me, Barek. How can you say that?"

She stared down at the bag in her lap. "I do know you. And I thought you...felt that way, too." She stood up and walked over to him, placing a picture of them and the silver crucifix in his hands. "I'm going back to the hospital. Then...I'm going home." She slowly raised her head and met his eyes. "I'll call you...when I get there. If you still want to talk to me." She hesitated before touching his cheek. "I do love you, whether or not you want to see it. And I'm sorry for upsetting you yesterday. I didn't mean to. And I'm not running. I'm doing what I should have done before."

He looked at the items in his hand and asked, "And what's that, Barek? What do you think you should have done before?"

"Face it...Face...everything. I had a long night to think about it, and you're right. I do run. And if it's going to cost me you, it's not worth it."

He shook his head, skeptical, but he held out the crucifix. "This is yours," he said quietly.

It fell into her palm, and she closed her shaking hand around it. Then she slowly walked to the door. "Don't give up on me, Mike," she said quietly. "I've never given up on you."

"Like you've done in the past?"

She turned her head a little. "I haven't..." she repeated. "Even through the worst things in our partnership, I haven't."

"That's not what I meant...but...oh, never mind...Go on back to the hospital. I'll come by to see you later."

She nodded warily, then opened the door. "Maybe you'll actually talk then," she said softly, walking out of the apartment.

He shook his head and sat on the couch. He shouldn't be having such a hard time with this, but he was having trouble getting past something serious. He guessed he would have to talk it out with her. Why did things have to change when they were going smoothly? He was getting very tired of the monkey wrenches life kept tossing into the works of his life. It was getting really old.

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Alex paced Bobby's living room anxiously. She hadn't seen him since the previous day, and her worry was eating away at her. She wasn't angry at him anymore. She just wanted to see him, to hug him and try to convince him that things would turn out eventually. The phone sat on the other side of the room, and she walked over to it and picked it up, then dialed his cell phone number.

Goren was sitting at the bar of a diner a few miles from his apartment, looking at a plate of half-eaten eggs. His mind again strayed to the argument he'd had with his partner, and his appetite took a nosedive. He never handled it well when he fought with her. No one in his life held such a prominent place in his heart. Maybe that's why all his relationships went south; no one could measure up to Eames in his eyes...except for Carolyn...but that relationship disintegrated for another reason entirely, and it didn't have much to do with him. He was still hurt and confused by what had happened there, and that made him more gun-shy with Alex.

He had spent the entire night wandering the city streets, thinking. He was afraid that if he went home, the argument would continue, driving him further from her, and he couldn't take that. So he didn't go home. He doubted she would be concerned over his absence. When his phone rang, he pulled it out of his pocket and looked at the caller ID. He was tempted to ignore it, but it could be a call-out and he really didn't need to piss off Deakins, too. So he answered the phone, professionally. "Goren."

"Bobby..."

"Do we have a case?" he continued, unwilling to invest more emotion into a conversation that he had readily available to him. He was less likely to aggravate her that way.

She sighed. She deserved that. "No. I... I want to see you."

More emotion surface in response to her tone as much as to her words. But if she was just looking to finish what they'd started, he wasn't willing to step into that. "I...why, Eames?"

"I miss you." She walked into the bedroom and sat down heavily on the bed.

That caught him off guard. "You...miss me?"

"Yes." She sank back against the pillows. "I do."

"Where are you?"

"I'm still at your apartment."

"My...why?"

"Because...I thought you would have been back by now, and I want to talk to you..."

"Talk to me," he murmured. "About...?"

"I just want to talk. I don't care what about. Will you please come home?"

He didn't answer, staring down at his plate.

At his silence, she closed her eyes. "Bobby...please. I'm not mad anymore. I just want to see you."

He carried the silence a little further, then quietly said, "I'll be home soon."

A small sigh of relief escaped her. "Okay. I'll see you when you get here."

He closed the phone and slid it back into his pocket. He had no stomach for food now, so he paid for his meal and left the diner. He could only postpone this as long as it took to walk home. He wasn't inclined to lie to her, so he had to go home and face the music. Damn...

She hung up the phone, then stood up and walked into the kitchen. She didn't know if he had gotten anything to eat, and she was hungry herself, so she began going through the fridge. She found the ingredients to make spaghetti, so she filled a pot full of water and put it on to boil.

When he opened the apartment door, his stomach in a knot, he was surprised to be met by the aroma of sauce. He'd been walking for four hours and it was past lunch time. He saw the half-empty plate of spaghetti on the coffee table, and he wondered where she was. If he was lucky, she would have gotten tired of waiting and left. Of course, that would just be delaying the inevitable. Hoping to just get it over with, he dismissed the hope she wasn't there.

She heard the door open, and she quickly pulled her clothes on and wrapped the towel around her wet hair. Then she opened the bedroom door and looked around for him.

He went into the kitchen and poured a cup of old coffee, heating it in the microwave. Maybe the caffeine would settle his nerves. He was in no mood to savor anything, particularly not bitter coffee that was at least six hours old. He drank it down quickly, then turned to walked back to the living room.

When he came into her sight, she resisted the urge to walk over and hug him. That was probably the last thing he wanted right now. So she just leaned against the door. "Your food is in the microwave."

He turned toward her voice and studied her, eyes intense with an odd mixture of apprehension and desire. "Eames..." he started, faltering. "Uh, thanks...I'm not hungry."

She tilted her head slightly and studied him. "You can relax, Bobby," she murmured, wanting to reach out and touch him.

"You know I don't do that," he murmured.

"I'm not mad anymore," she repeated, reaching up and pulling the towel away from her hair.

He watched her hair cascade out of the towel. "I, um, I don't get what happened in the first place. I thought...I thought you trusted me. You don't...and that hurts."

That did it. She crossed the floor, closing the gap between them. The towel fell to the floor as she reached out and rested her hands on his shoulders. "I do trust you, Bobby," she whispered, searching his eyes. "I trust you more than anyone."

He frowned, meeting her eyes. "How can you say that? You thought..." he trailed off and looked away.

She reached out and cupped his cheek in her hand, gently bringing his eyes back to hers. "What, Bobby?"

"You really thought I went along with Logan to...hurt someone. It never occurred to you that I might be going along to keep him from ruining his life."

"I know," she said quietly. "I was... upset, and I just wanted to protect you."

He shook his head. "I don't need protecting, Eames."

"You do." Her thumb moved slowly over his cheek.

He shook his head and moved away from her, sitting on the couch. "I have half a grain of sense in my head. I don't run off half-cocked to beat the crap out of a suspect. I've never been that kind of cop. I thought you, of all people, would know better."

She followed him to the couch, sitting down on the opposite side of it. "I know I was wrong, and I admitted it. I'm sorry. I just... it got the better of me..."

He finally looked at her, allowing her to see the pain in his eyes. "You let me down," he whispered. "And that hurt...a lot."

Her stomach twisted at his words, and her hand reached out and rested against his cheek. "I know. I'm sorry." She scooted closer and finally allowed her arms to wrap around him.

He let her hug him, gently slipping his arm around her waist. "Give me time," he muttered.

"Okay." She ran her hand over his back, then finally allowed it to come to a rest on the back of his neck.

He stared at the coffee table, turning his thoughts inward. He was tired of getting hurt and he didn't know what to do about it.

She released him reluctantly, then rose to her feet. Picking up her keys and cell phone, she looked at him again. "I'll go home now," she murmured. "I just wanted to be sure you were okay, and that you knew I wasn't mad anymore."

"Thanks. Good night, Eames."

She paused before touching his hair gently. "I love you, Bobby." Her feet reluctantly carried her to the door. "Try to eat and get some sleep. Please."

He didn't answer except to nod.

She studied him for a moment longer, then walked out of his apartment. And only when she was a safe distance away did she finally let her tears fall.

He scrubbed his hands over his face and ran them through his hair. He felt incomplete and on edge. Getting up, he went into the kitchen, grabbed a beer and returned to the couch. His spaghetti never left the microwave.

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Her doorbell ringing stirred Alex from her sleep, and she groaned and rolled over in the bed. It was almost two in the morning, and she grumbled her aggravation as she rolled out of the bed. Picking up her robe, she pulled it on and muttered to herself as she crossed the floor and stalked over to her front door. She unlocked the door, then pulled it open, prepared to give whoever was unlucky enough to be standing there a sound tongue lashing.

He stepped forward, not waiting for a reaction, pulling her into his arms and covering her mouth in a hungry kiss. Slipping his hand inside her robe, he rested it against the small of her back and pulled her against him, as much to protect himself from a sudden, surprised reaction as to cuddle her body to his.

She pulled away and stared up at him in surprise. "Bobby... it's two in the morning..." she pointed out half heartedly.

"Sorry," he murmured. "I...I am sorry..."

She shook her head and took his arm, pulling him into the bedroom. Then she led him to the bed, waiting until he laid down before she laid down beside him. Cuddling into him, she draped her arm over his waist. "It's late," she yawned. "You're not leaving."

"I probably shouldn't have come, but...I couldn't stay away."

She nodded, pulling her comforter over them. "It's okay." Her hand slid under his shirt, and she stroked his bare skin. "I'm not going to make you leave."

He looked at her, and his eyes glowed. "Convince me to stay," he challenged.

"Bobby," she complained. "I didn't sleep the other night..."

He bit his lip and looked away. "That was my fault. I...don't want to cost you any more sleep..."

She tightened her arm around him and pulled him closer to her. "Let me sleep," she whispered into his ear. "And tomorrow I'll make it so you can't walk."

"It's fine," he said as he sat up. "If I stay, you won't sleep. I'll go...and you can come over whenever."

Leaning over, he kissed her, then he got up and left the bedroom.

She groaned and stood up, following after him. She knew that if he didn't stay, she'd never get back to sleep. Catching him, she turned him around so that he was facing her. Then she pulled him back into the bedroom, shutting the door behind them. Untying the robe, she let it fall to the floor before pushing him back down onto the bed.

"You're driving me nuts, Eames. Would you make up your mind?"

"You're the one who always has to have his way," she muttered, sliding her hand past the waist of his pants.

He gasped when she caressed him. "M-My way? I thought..." She kissed him. "I thought..." Another kiss and he no longer had any thoughts.

All thoughts of sleep gone, she undid his pants and shoved them past his hips. Then she unbuttoned his shirt and kissed her way down the center of his chest.

He closed his eyes and buried his hands in her hair as she kissed and licked his skin. This was definitely a step in the right direction toward healing his hurt. "Keep going," he murmured softly.

She smirked a little and continued to kiss his chest, until she reached the little trail of hair that led further down. She paused, then straddled him, her hands resting on his chest. "I love you," she whispered, resting her forehead against his.

He stopped, his hands braced on her hips. "Do you?"

"Yes."

"Tell me what I've done to deserve that."

She kissed him, then slid away. "Do you trust me?" she whispered at the confused look on his face.

"You know I do...or I wouldn't be here."

She nodded, kissing him again. Then she pushed at his shoulder, until he was lying on his stomach. She straddled him again and began massaging his tense shoulders. "I love you, Bobby. I love that you can deal with my sarcasm and my bad days, and I love how you look at me when you think I'm not paying attention." She dropped a gentle kiss on the back of his neck.

As much as he wanted her right then, he felt himself responding to the hands that were kneading his muscles and the gentle tickle of her lips against his skin. He was relaxing, and the past two days without sleep caught up to him with a vengeance. She got her way...

She continued to gently knead his back, even after his breathing evened out and he relaxed completely under her hands. Finally she slowly moved away and laid down beside him, smiling when he reached out in his sleep and pulled her close. She gently guided his head to rest on her chest, and she played with his hair thoughtfully. Sleep was long in coming.

He slept late the next morning, which was unusual for him. When he opened his eyes, he saw her watching him. "Not fair," he murmured sleepily.

She shrugged. "Sure it is."

"You cheated."

"Maybe..."

"No maybe about it." He turned toward her. "You got your way," he accused, but his voice was soft and the fire of anger was absent in his eyes, replaced by a different kind of fire. It was the fire that had burned in him the night before, when he'd showed up on her doorstep.

"Haven't you learned by now?" she smirked, her voice light. "I always get my way."

"When do I get my way?" he asked.

"Never," she informed him, casually shrugging her shoulders.

"Oh, come on..." he pleaded, nuzzling her neck with gentle nips and licks.

"Sorry, Goren. It's just not happening."

He slid his hand under her shirt and tickled her skin while he nipped her earlobe. "Please."

She shook her head stubbornly. Then she quirked an eyebrow. "Wait a second... I said you couldn't have your own way." She grabbed his shoulders and shoved him onto his back, then straddled him.

He was confused again, but he couldn't complain about their position. He ran his hands up her sides, trying to coax her shirt off, deciding not to question her sudden change of heart. His way, her way...at this point he didn't care what she called it...

She saw the question in his eyes, and she lowered her head and nipped at his neck. "I just said that you couldn't have your way about anything. Never said that I wasn't up for this."

"Well, then...have it your way..." he whispered with a soft groan. "Please..."

She smirked and decided to torture him for a few minutes by not allowing contact. Instead, she hovered over him, taunting him.

He shuddered with need, and decided enough was enough. When his body arched toward her, desperately seeking contact, he drew his fingers up her rib cage, barely able to wait for her response.

She rolled her eyes in false exasperation. "You're no fun," she teased, slowly lowering herself down on him.

"Give me a minute," he promised.

"Uh huh..." She rocked slowly against him. "Prove it."

He groaned softly, then took up the challenge. With a sudden thrust of his elbow, he had her on her back, pinned at the hips by his. He began to work over one breast with his mouth while his left hand teased her skin. When she gasped, he smiled and kept going.

She closed her eyes and groaned, her hips thrusting up to meet his. She snickered a little and twined her arms around his neck, gently biting down on the sensitive skin.

He closed his eyes at the sharp sting and found himself laughing. He didn't hesitate to respond with nips of his own along her neck and shoulder. He thrust himself against her, finding his target with ease and changing the angle of his thrusts. He struggled to keep control and he pushed her closer to her own loss of control. She was good...and he responded to every movement she made.

She groaned softly at her release, her hands burying themselves in his hair as she went limp against the pillows.

As soon as she arched into him and gasped, he knew it was all right to let go. A sheen of sweat broke out on his skin as he groaned and shuddered against her, following her onto the pillows and rolling to the side. He remained close to her, bodies in full contact, and his kissed her head. His hand roamed lightly over her skin and he smiled when she shuddered. He had his way, whatever she wanted to call it, but he said nothing about it. In silence, he continued to caress her and kiss her, comfortable, but not yet satisfied.

She slid her arms around him and snuggled into his chest, sighing contently.

Roaming fingers found a perfect breast and gently coaxed its nipple to hardness and he used his mouth to play with her earlobe.

She smiled and slid her hand over his back. "We're not going to get out of here today, are we?" she teased, her hand sliding around and past his waist.

"Hell, no," he murmured into her hair. "You made me wait...pay the price."

"Pay the price?" she snorted, pulling away from him.

He smiled. "You wanted it your way, baby."

"Fine." She climbed out of the bed and stretched purposefully in front of him, then sashayed into the bathroom.

He groaned softly. "You're gonna be the death of me," he murmured.

"That's the point," she called. She left the door open, then called in a sickeningly helpless voice, "Oh, it looks like I'm all alone in here. Whatever shall I do with myself...?"

He laughed. Jumping up from the bed, he joined her in the bathroom.

She grinned when he walked in, and she stepped into the shower, then picked up a bottle of body wash and began humming softly to herself.

He poked his head past the shower curtain and watched her in silence. Her hands worked the lather over her skin and he watched for as long as he was able. Then he pushed the shower curtain aside and joined her, relieving her of the task of lathering her skin.

She turned to face him, then laid her head against his shoulder. Her arms went around his waist, and she rubbed his back thoughtfully.

He rested his cheek against her head and held her, absently running a finger up and down her spine.

She shivered and buried her face in his chest. "Do you feel better now?" she murmured.

"Not quite..."

She tensed against him and sighed, hating herself for doing this to him.

"What's wrong?"

She shook her head. "Nothing." Holding him tighter, her hand trailed further and further down his back as her determination to make him feel better grew.

He tipped his head and reached up, placing a finger under her chin. He tipped her face up and kissed her, pressing her back against the wall as his gentle kiss grew in intensity. When her lips parted, he pushed his tongue past them and he ground his hips into hers with another groan.

The tile was cold against her back as she wound her legs around his hips, trusting him completely to not let her fall. She claimed his mouth with hers, her kiss intense and demanding as she thrust her hips against his.

With a deep moan, he pressed into her, holding her firmly against him as he braced her against the wall. He shifted her a few times, until he found the right position, and then he brought her to the edge as he hit his stride.

Her forehead came to rest against his, and she groaned softly as he pushed her over the edge. Her entire body shuddered, and she thrusted against him again until she felt him shudder, too.

Gently, he eased her down until she was standing on her own, then he slumped back against the wall and closed his eyes. "I repeat, you're going to kill me...but what a way to go..."

She slid her arms around him again and kissed his chest. "Don't even talk like that," she mumbled, still in a haze. "I plan on keeping you around for a long time."

He smiled, but didn't answer, draping his arms around her and holding her against him. A long time sounded good to him, even if he doubted it would ever be...

She snuggled deeper into his arms, nearly dozing off completely. The sudden burst of cold water made her jump and gasp, and she pushed him back to the other end of the shower. "Damn, that's cold!" she gasped.

He laughed, reaching past her to turn off the water. "I think we used all the hot water."

She shivered. "No kidding."

Reaching out of the shower, he grabbed a towel and wrapped her in it. "I'm used to cold showers," he commented.

"Not me," she complained, pulling him back toward the bed again.

He laughed. "Women don't need them quite as often as men do."

She frowned, poking his shoulder. "You would be surprised." Turning up her small nose and brushing past him, she collapsed onto the bed. "Maybe you should go back in there and take one."

He arched an eyebrow. "If you insist."

She shifted back against the pillows, stretching as she purposefully let the towel fall away from her small frame. "Oops..."

He crossed over to the bed and sat on the edge of the bed. "You're bad..."

Her eyebrows arched, and she sat up and pushed him back against the pillows. "I'll show you bad..."

"Please do."

She grinned and straddled him again. "What are we going to do about food?" she complained. "You can't expect me to be a sex goddess unless you feed me."

"What are you in the mood for?"

She thought about that for a minute. "Hmm...I don't know." She leaned down and kissed him. "How about we order in?"

"You always get your way, Eames."

She rolled her eyes. "I'd cook, but somehow I think it would wind up being burned..." She wiggled her hips against his to demonstrate her point.

"You're probably right," he answered, placing his hands on her hips to encourage her to wiggle some more.

She grinned and rolled away, then headed into the living room. A few minutes later, she bounced back onto the bed, pinning him down against the mattress. "Thirty minutes," she informed him, dipping her head.

After a long kiss, he asked, "What are we eating?"

She blinked slowly, then laughed. "Hold on, I'll remember..." She paused. "Chinese. That's it."

He chuckled softly and made her forget herself again.

A half hour later, Alex groaned as her doorbell rang, and she gently pushed Bobby away. "Food's here."

"Do we have to eat?"

She shook a finger in his direction as she stood up and slipped her robe on. "Remember what I said. If I don't get fed, I'm not doing anything else."

He sighed and motioned to her to leave. "Go on."

She smiled at him and left the room, returning a few minutes later with the food. Ignoring his questioning look, she joined him in the bed again and snuggled into his side.

"Lunch in bed?"

"Yeah." She began going through the bags. "Do you have a problem with that?"

"Not at all. What'd you order?"

She handed him his. "Your favorite."

He smiled at her. "Did I ever tell you I love you?"

"Not in the last ten minutes." She pouted. "I'm beginning to feel neglected..."

He slipped his arm around her and leaned closer to kiss her. "I love you, Alex. I always have."

Her lips curved up in a smile. "I love you, too."

"I...I'm sorry I got angry with you."

She shook her head. "Don't apologize." She pulled him closer against her.

"I have to. I didn't mean to hurt you, but I had to let you know how I felt."

"I know." She set her food on the nightstand, her appetite suddenly gone. Then she pulled him closer and settled back against the pillows, stroking the back of his neck.

"Eat your lunch, baby."

She shook her head. "It can wait." She kissed the top of his head, her fingertips trailing down his back.

"Five minutes ago, it couldn't," he teased.

She continued to stroke his back thoughtfully. "Let's just...stay here..."

Enjoying her gentle caress, he was not inclined to move. "Okay," he murmured.

Her head turned a little, and she pressed her face against his hair, inhaling deeply.

"What are you doing?" he asked, amused.

"Nothing." She didn't want to explain that a sudden urge to claim him in every way possible had swept over her. Her fingers threaded through his hair, and she rolled over and settled on his chest, her teeth scraping against the hollow of his neck.

"Keep that up and you aren't going to eat."

She didn't want to waste any time. "Fine." She bit down on his neck, claiming him as her own.

"Ow...hey..."

She soothed the irritated area with her tongue, then moved down to his shoulder.

Closing his eyes, he concentrated on the other sensations she was stimulating in his body.

She took a moment to admire her handiwork, then slowly moved her hips against his.

Eyes still closed, his hips moved in sync with hers. He had always wondered if his sexual appetite could be sated. It seemed he was going to find out.

She straddled him and kissed him hard as she slowly moved up and down. But after a few minutes, she rolled them over so that he was on top and in control.

He was happy to oblige, thrusting against her and closing his eyes to savor the sensations. Every few thrusts, he changed his angle, bringing more groans of pleasure from her. Every sound she uttered increased his arousal and he picked up his pace.

Her eyes closed, and she grabbed at the sheets with her hands, until her knuckles turned white.

He changed his angle and pace again.

She claimed his mouth with hers and gently bit down on his lower lip, one hand burying itself in his thick hair. "God, Bobby..."

"Want me...to stop?"

Her eyes shot open. "You do, and I'll shoot you," she growled, thrusting her hips against his.

With a soft laugh, he shifted again and gently bit her lip.

Her legs locked around his waist, pulling him closer to her. Her entire body began shaking, and she couldn't contain her soft moan as his thrusts became faster.

He could no longer stop if he wanted to and he had to continue to completion. His attention was focused on bringing her again to climax before he would relax and let himself enjoy his own climax.

They reached their releases together, and she felt her body tremble as he settled on top of her. Her arms went around him, and she kissed his head, then rubbed his back slowly.

He tightened his arms around her and felt himself drifting toward sleep. "Love you," he murmured as his eyes slid closed.

She smiled, refusing to let him go. "I love you, too." She still had her insecurities, but they were slowly fading.

He snuggled into her and was soon sleeping deeply, exhausted.

She was content to watch him fade into sleep, and when she was sure he wouldn't wake up, she reached over and picked her bag up. Without disturbing him, she set the bag down and reached into it, pulling some of her food out. Then she began eating, watching him out of the corner of her eye as she did.

TBC...

A/N: See? That good ole smutty goodness is always great, huh? Yum... (is distracted) Yeah, uhm, anyways... (scurries away to find a cold shower)


	27. Bruises That Don't Fade

Hey, everyone! I'm back! I know it's been a few months, but I've moved a couple of times, and I've only just gotten settled. Anyways, I'm back, and I've got a whole bunch of updates for this story! Yay! And for my SVU people, don't worry! Ya'll know the episode that's coming Tuesday? I've got a few ideas for that baby... (evil grin) Well, enough of my insane rambling. Enjoy the update!

Disclaimer: Not ours!

Warning: This chapter is definitely rated M in some parts. So readers beware...

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Carolyn was perched on the windowsill, one leg hugged to her chest as she attempted in vain to read her novel. Beneath her, the sounds of people coming and going reached her ears, and she sighed softly. Tossing the book onto a chair, she turned her head and stared outside, her fingers absently stroking the silver crucifix that hung from her neck.

Mike had no idea what he was going to say to his partner when he entered the room. He was just going to have to wing it, and that made him nervous. Pushing the door open, he stepped into the room and looked around. No one was there. "Son of a bitch!"

His loud voice startled her, and for one terrifying moment, she thought he was hurt. Her feet hit the ground, and she jogged over to him. "Mike! What's wrong?"

He started. "Where did you come from?"

Satisfied that he wasn't hurt, she ran a shaking hand through her ponytail. "I was at the window, reading."

"Oh. You all right?"

"Yeah." She licked her dry lips. "Why wouldn't I be?" She willed her pulse to stop racing.

"Um...you were just raped?"

She cleared her throat and walked over to the bed, sitting down with a quiet sigh. "Yeah, I know." She pointed to her temple, where several stitches were hidden by her hair. "The stitches are coming out in a couple of days."

"Good."

"They say I can go home tomorrow." She motioned to her knees. "Just have to keep the bandages changed." Her eyes shifted down to the floor. "And as long as I behave myself."

"Can you do that?"

She felt like a five year old again as she muttered bitterly, "Yeah..."

"Are you done running away?"

"Have I left?" she retorted. "Yes, Logan. I'm done."

"And what about your personal life? Are you done running away from that, too?"

"Yes..." She pulled her legs up onto the bed and carefully crossed them.

He let out a heavy sigh. "You never told me what happened between you and Goren."

She lifted her head and stared at him. "Why would you want to know about that...?"

He shifted uncomfortably. "I think that he and I are closer friends than you know."

"Then why don't you ask him?" She sat back against the pillows and brought her knees up to her chin.

"I didn't have to."

"Huh?"

"I never had to ask him what happened."

"Then why are you asking me?" She was confused now.

"I trust Bobby like I would a partner. He's honest...to a fault, sometimes. I was just wondering if you wanted to give me your point of view...once you knew I had his."

"Logan, it was a breakup. We went out for a while, it didn't work, so we ended it."

"He wanted to end it?"

"We both realized it wasn't working. It was a mutual feeling."

"God, he's good."

"What are you talking about, Logan?"

"Maybe I shouldn't have said anything after all."

"My God, Mike!" She pushed herself to her feet, ignoring her stiff knees as she closed the distance between them. "You expect me to talk to you, but you're talking in goddamm riddles! Was Bobby lying to me?"

He shook his head. "No, sweetheart. He never lied to you. He knew you were unhappy, and he thought he was part of the reason you were. He let you believe it was mutual, so you would have no reason to feel badly about it. He gave you what you wanted in the way it hurt you the least."

She stumbled backward, collapsing when the back of her legs hit the mattress. "He didn't... I..." She stumbled for words through her tears, hurt and pain. "Oh, God..."

"You know he's going to hurt me for telling you this."

"He knew..." She pressed her hand to her mouth.

"He knew...what?"

She shook her head, then stood up again. "I need... I need to talk to him. Now..."

"Carolyn...I don't think he's up for that. He and Alex had a falling out...and...well, he thinks you don't want anything to do with him..."

She walked past him. "And he's going to keep thinking that until I talk to him." _What have I done now..._?

"Where are you going? You promised you weren't going to leave any more."

She didn't stop. "I did everything to make things right with you. Now I need to make things right with him."

He tossed his hands up in the air and hurried after her.

She knew he was following her, but she gave no indication. Instead, she walked as fast as her sore knees would allow her, tugging at her hospital bracelet.

He trotted to catch up to her. "Let me drive you."

She held up her hand. "Don't worry about it, Mike."

"Hey, this is my fault. Let me take you to his place."

"His apartment is two blocks from here. I can walk."

"Shutting me out again, Barek?"

She turned on him, her eyes blazing. "I am not, Logan. This is between me and him!" she snapped.

"And Eames?"

She shook her head. "No."

"If she's not at his apartment, I'll pay your rent for two months."

She walked away from him and studied the traffic carefully, then walked swiftly across the street.

He followed her, not letting on how concerned he was for his own well being once Goren found out what he'd done.

She hurried down the sidewalk, until she finally reached Bobby's apartment building. Then she went inside, her heart pounding harder with each step she took.

Mike leaned against the wall opposite Bobby's door as she knocked, hiding his nerves like he always did, behind a bravado facade.

In the apartment, Bobby was still sleeping soundly when Carolyn knocked, but Alex was awake.

Groaning softly, Alex gently slid away from Bobby's embrace, then kissed his forehead. She grabbed her robe and put it on, then hurried to the door. Pulling the door open, she was surprised to see an anxious looking Carolyn standing there. "Carolyn? What are you doing here?"

Mike leaned forward. "Told ya."

Ignoring Mike, Carolyn shook her head. "I need to talk to Bobby."

Alex rubbed her hand through her hair. "He's sleeping right now."

Mike grinned. "Let me wake him."

Alex was wary, but she let him in. "Go ahead."

Mike hustled down the hall and let the girls talk, if they were so inclined. He slipped into the bedroom and walked to the bed. Gently, he jostled Bobby's shoulder. "Hey, buddy, wake up."

Bobby turned onto his back and slowly opened his eyes. "Mike?" He licked his lips and blinked. "What...what are you doing here?"

"Wake up, man. I messed up."

"Don't come to me with your problems with Carolyn. I told you, she's done with me."

"Yeah, let's revisit that. You're not that lucky."

"What the hell are you babbling about?"

"I told her what you did."

Bobby pushed himself onto his elbows. "What did I do?" he asked cautiously.

"Your breakup with her."

It took a moment for Bobby's sleep-bleary mind to grasp what he meant, and Mike knew the exact moment he did. He jumped back from the bed as Bobby sat up.

"You did what!"

"Sorry, man. I...I wanted her side of it before I got any more annoyed at her for taking off."

"You'd better run, pal. I'm going to kill you."

Mike took off as Bobby yanked on a pair of sweatpants and ran out of the room. Bursting into the living room, he demanded, "Where is he?"

Alex walked past Bobby and headed into the bedroom, shutting the door behind her. She didn't like where this was going, and she didn't have to stick around for it.

Carolyn looked around the apartment. "I don't know where the hell he went."

Bobby looked down the hall, wondering if she was upset. She had ignored him. Great...

He turned toward Carolyn. "He just came out of the bedroom. Where the hell is there for him to hide?"

"I don't know!" She began pacing, ignoring her protesting knees.

He stopped looking for Mike and turned his attention toward Carolyn. "Why are you upset?"

"You...you lied to me, Goren!" she said, pointing a shaking finger at him.

He raised his eyebrows. "I did not!"

"Yes, you did! We both knew it wasn't going anywhere! You said you were fine!"

He sighed heavily. "It wasn't a lie. I knew I was going to be fine."

She shook her head and leaned heavily against the wall. "I don't know why... you couldn't even be honest with me then. I don't."

He ran a hand through his hair. "I didn't lie to you. Carolyn, you weren't happy. I could see that. I just made it easier for you to let go. There was no reason for you to feel guilty over something like that. If you thought the breakup was mutual, you could move on. It was easier that way, and that's what mattered to me."

Alex came out of the bedroom, fully dressed, with her purse in her hand. Without a word, she went straight to the door and headed out of the apartment.

"Hey! Alex!" He ran after her, grabbing her elbow. "Hey...where are you going?"

"Home," she answered calmly, pulling away. "I need to feed my bird, check my mail, see my nephew..."

"Baby..." he said softly.

She swallowed hard and forced a smile to her face. "Call me when you work things out with her." She turned and took another step.

"Don't be upset...please..."

Her head turned, and she looked at him again. Then she walked down the hall.

"Fuck!" he swore. "I am going to kill you, Logan..."

He went back into the apartment. "You'd better shoot me now, Carolyn."

"Why?" She began to pace. "Oh, God, she probably thinks I still... I still want you."

"Your partner has gotten me in deep shit with both of you. I'm going to kill him."

She flung her arm out in front of herself. "Go for it."

He frowned darkly. "I'm not kidding. I never expected him to tell you...oh, hell..."

"Yeah, well, I never expected to be raped, or find out that you lied to me." She sat down heavily on the couch and buried her face in her hands.

"Dammit, stop saying that."

He paced the room, furious.

Her hair fell down, forming a curtain around her face.

He swore again and went down the hall to his bedroom, where he yanked on a sweatshirt, a pair of socks and a pair of sneakers. Logan had to have left the apartment. There was nowhere inside for a guy his size to hide.

She looked around the apartment for her partner. "Logan," she growled. "Get out here now, or I'm gone."

He didn't make an appearance, but he said, "Not until he's gone."

She threw her hands in the air. "Fine. Fine."

She stood up and stormed over to the door. She had screwed everything up, and she knew that he wasn't going to talk to her until he got things sorted out with Alex.

Bobby came out into an empty apartment. "Carolyn?"

She froze at the door. "I'm going back to the hospital, Bobby," she said, deflated.

He stepped up behind her, placing his hands on her shoulders. "He had no right," he said quietly. "But I didn't lie to you. Whatever I did, it was what you needed from me."

She pulled away from him. "No, what you needed was Alex. I needed... something that I couldn't have. But I'll get over it."

"What?" He stepped away from her. "I'm not following you. You knew when we started dating that I've always been close to my partner. Now you're saying she's the reason we didn't work? That's not true. I am the reason we didn't work."

She stared him down. "Bobby...I'm not blind. You love her. We both needed...something."

"We could have had something. Carolyn, I don't need to be babied or protected." His face darkened. "Do you have any idea how many of my relationships ended because of Eames?"

"Most of them, obviously. And I don't have a problem with that. What I do have a problem with is you thinking that I don't want to talk to you or see you at all. I'm still your friend, Bobby."

He sat down on the couch. He shook his head. "I know what a cold shoulder means, and you have been turning one on me for a while now. I gave it a chance...but I am willing to follow whatever path you choose for me, Carolyn. Maybe you were worried about what Logan or Eames would think, but whatever your reason, I am willing to back off, which is exactly what I did." He leaned back and looked at the ceiling. "Is Eames jealous? Yes, I think so. But she needs to trust me...or it's over."

"Fine, Bobby. I understand. You need to sort things out with her." She turned around and walked to the door. When she reached it, she looked at him again. "I didn't mean to make you think that. I'm sorry if you did. I really am. I still care about you, a lot. And if you still want to talk to me, I'll be around." She opened the door.

"Carolyn...?"

She turned and looked at him, her dark eyes weary. "Yes, Bobby?"

"It's not okay. And I think you need to talk to Alex, too. She needs to hear from you that you have no interest in me."

"I'll try. She knows I'm crazy about someone else."

"But that doesn't seem to matter. She's still...I don't know...it still upsets her for some reason."

"I know. I would be the same way if she had dated..." She trailed off, shaking her head.

He shook his head slowly. "She still has issues trusting me...on a personal level. And that bothers me, a lot."

She saw an opening, and she took it. "You need to reach out, Bobby. She probably feels like she's making all the first moves. Do something. First, patch this up. Then take her away for a weekend. Or just... just stay home for a day. Give all of your attention to her." She met his eyes. "Like you used to do for me."

He gave her a soft smile. "What do you think we did today?"

She rested her back against the wall and crossed her arms, sighing quietly. "And I ruined it."

"I didn't mean that..."

"But I did."

"Don't feel badly. We weren't doing anything. I was asleep."

"And she was probably awake." She shook her head. "Bobby... I'm sorry. About everything. I never... meant to make you feel... like I was ignoring you. Or that I didn't want you around."

"I understand if you feel that way. I really do."

"But I don't," she protested. "I just...I can't explain it..." She was treading on unsteady ground, and one wrong step would ruin everything.

"I don't understand. I mean...if you're trying to preserve something with Logan...I get that." He paused. "Did Logan, um...did he say something about that?"

She let her head fall back against the wall. "He thinks I'm running away from everything. I'm not! When I left the hospital, I went to him, not to North Carolina. I didn't go!" She slid to the floor, resting her head in her hand.

"North Carolina?"

"I was going to go..." She blinked rapidly to dispel her tears. "But I didn't!" She couldn't stress that point enough.

"You were going to go to North Carolina?" He rubbed his forehead. "Okay, whatever...but you're right. You didn't go." His brow furrowed. "Do I need to straighten his ass out about you, too?"

She rose unsteadily to her feet. "I have to go back to the hospital..."

He rose and grasped her arm. "I'll take you back."

She pulled her arm away. "No, you need to go talk to Alex. I'll take myself back." _I got myself here, after all_...

"Don't," he warned. "Look...this is just what I was talking about. Let me help you get back to the hospital so I know you got there safely. Then, I'll back off and let you be. Say what you will, Carolyn, I can see how you feel." He couldn't quite hide the pain, but he tried. "Let's go." He raised his voice. "And if Logan knows what's good for him, he'll be there within the half hour. I'll deal with him later."

Her shoulders slumped, and she nodded. "Fine. Okay. I don't like those cars anyway..."

He started to pull the door closed, pausing to look around the room. The hall closet or the pantry in the kitchen. "Lock the door when you leave, asshole. And you're still dead meat."

He walked beside Carolyn in silence, careful not to touch her. He withdrew as far as he was able, giving her the space she demanded and avoiding the interaction she didn't want.

She climbed into the SUV and slumped back in the seat. "I'm sorry, Bobby," she said quietly. "I don't...I don't mean to do that..."

How could he tell her that it was okay if she didn't want him around? He did understand how that went.

Before he started the car, she stopped him. "It's not you," she whispered. "It's my fault. I didn't tell you."

He frowned. "Tell me what? That I was too much for you. I get that, Carolyn. Believe me, I do. And please...don't give me that 'It's me, not you' bullshit. Give me some credit."

Her mouth parted slightly, and she cleared her throat. "Fine." She pulled her sleeves up to her shoulders, revealing the dark bruises on her forearms. "That's why I can't stand anyone touching me."

He looked alarmed. "Wh-what happened? Is that from the rape?"

"Yes. When he grabbed me..." She turned her head and stared out the window.

His face darkened. "I should have let Logan finish what he started."

He stared at the steering wheel for a moment. "But that has nothing to do with why I feel you don't want me around, you know."

"It's not that I don't want you around. I do. I just..." She sighed deeply, then rolled her sleeves down again. How could she explain the irrational fear that she felt around every man, including Mike? She was a cop, for God's sake...

"Carolyn, this has been going on since we broke up."

"It has been... a little awkward, I'll admit. But I'm trying."

He shook his head. "Don't you think it will be easier for you if I stay away?"

"No. We're still friends, and I don't want three weeks to change that." She looked at him for a moment. "Let's just... go to the hospital. Mike'll be pissed if I sign myself out again."

"Oh, like I'm worried about pissing him off."

"I am. It seems like that's the only thing I've been doing lately."

He shrugged. "You know how he is. He can be an angry guy." He sighed. "I am sorry you didn't know that I didn't want to break up with you. But I knew you were ready, that it was what you wanted...and that was what made it the right thing to do."

He started the car and pulled away from the curb, not waiting for an answer.

"It would have ended, sooner or later," she said quietly. "You love Alex, and God help me, I love Mike."

"Maybe so."

"You know I'm right. If you had a choice right now, you would choose Alex over me, because you've loved her, probably since the day you met her."

"I didn't start dating you to cause you any grief, and I'm sorry if it turns out that I did. I'm good at that. I do love Alex, but if you hadn't fallen in love with Mike, we would have had a chance. I'm not saying I don't like what I have now, but if it had never happened I would never have known what I was missing."

She nodded. But she knew that, despite what he said, she never really had him. He was never, and could never be, hers to have. And she was content knowing that, because as stubborn and hurtful as he could be, she loved Mike. And she knew that they would get through this and be okay, eventually.

He pulled up outside the hospital and parked the SUV, walking around to her side of the car to open the door for her. He escorted her back to her room. Then he hesitated. Finally, he said, "I'll keep away as best I can, Carolyn. Don't worry about me. Just get better. Good-bye."

Turning, he left the room.

She followed him out and called his name. "Bobby!"

He hesitated, but he didn't turn.

When he didn't turn, her shoulders slumped in defeat, and she slipped back into the room. Shutting the door behind her, she walked into the bathroom and shut the door, then locked it. Once the tumblers clicked into place, she sat down on the toilet and stared at the floor.

He dropped his chin to his chest and kept walking. Alex should be pleased with the resolution. There was now nothing for her to be concerned with. So why did he feel so bad?

Bobby returned to the car as Mike was crossing the street. Mike stopped and nearly got hit by a car. Goren frowned. "Get over here before you get hit."

Mike approached cautiously. Goren frowned. "You and I are going to have it out. I am in serious shit with Alex and I'm not having anything more to do with Carolyn, all thanks to you."

"I didn't mean for it to cause problems."

"If I ever tell you something again, keep it under your hat or I'll really hurt you."

"I'll remember that."

"You better. Now I'm going to square things with Alex. You go take care of Carolyn. And you can tell her I'm really sorry, and I'll miss her."

Mike just nodded and walked toward the main entrance to the hospital while Bobby got into his car and drove away.

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Alex was staring down into her glass of apple juice, her stomach in knots. Carolyn still cared about Bobby. She knew it. Her eyes filled with tears, and she hurled the glass against the wall, watching as it shattered into a thousand little pieces.

Then she turned on her heel and walked into her bathroom, turning the water on as hot as she could get it before stepping into the shower. Grabbing a washcloth, she began washing her entire body.

She didn't know how long she was in there, but suddenly the water was cold, and she rested her head against the tile. She was going to lose him. Her entire body began shaking as the tears mingled with the cold water hitting her face.

A few minutes passed, and she finally came to a conclusion as she shut the water off. She wasn't going to give him up without a fight. She was in love with him, and she just knew that he loved her. She grabbed the towel and quickly dried off, then grabbed a pair of jeans and a t-shirt and quickly dressed. A picture of him sat beside her bed, and she picked it up and studied it. Then she set it back down and grabbed a pair of sneakers.

Bobby stood outside the door of her apartment for a good long time, pacing nervously and trying to figure out something to say that would reassure her. He was coming up blank. He was just going to have to wing it, as much as it went against his basic nature to be unprepared. Gathering his courage, he knocked on the door and waited, filled with uncertainty.

She was running a brush through her hair and grabbing her purse when she heard the knock, and she frowned. Whoever it was would just have to leave. She flung the door open, shocked when she saw Bobby standing there.

Her looked at the ground, sheepish. "I...um, I...I need to talk to you."

She took a step backward, letting him in. "What about?"

He entered the apartment. "About...why you left my place."

"Carolyn...yeah, I figured." She walked over to the fridge and grabbed a beer, then opened it and took a drink.

"You're angry."

"I'm a little upset, yes."

"I...I didn't do anything wrong."

She exhaled slowly. "I know... I know." She walked over to the couch and sat down with a heavy sigh.

"If it makes you feel any better...I won't be having anything more to do with her."

Meant to reassure her, the words were hard to get out.

She stared at the beer can, then set it down. "No, that doesn't."

That confused him, but he dismissed it. He needed to address a larger issue. "You don't trust me," he accused softly. "If you did, this would not be an issue."

"I'm sorry if I'm afraid of losing you," she muttered, picking up the beer again. "I try not to be so insecure, but I can't help it."

"Losing me? To Carolyn? Dammit, Alex, she has no interest in me. None at all. Mike is the only one she cares about."

She stood up and began pacing. "I...I know..." She took another drink of the beer. "But I saw her show up there, and she just looked so..." She sighed and shook her head.

"Pissed off?"

"No."

"No? What did you see that I missed?"

She shook her head. She couldn't even explain it. She had just seen her there, and knowing what they had had... "God damn it," she cursed, burying a hand in her hair.

He was confused and getting desperate. "What?"

"I love you, Bobby! I love you so much that it scares me sometimes. And just knowing that she... that she..."

"Loved me?"

"It's not hard to do..."

"She doesn't. Don't worry."

"Yes, she does," she insisted. "I could see it." She shook her head and finished the beer, then walked back into the kitchen.

"Alex, trust me. No she doesn't. I doubt that she ever did."

"You're blind then. She does love you." She walked over to him and stared him in the eye. "But I don't... I'm not going to let this happen. I trust you. More than anyone." She let out a soft breath. "And I love you."

His head was beginning to spin. "You're not going to let what happen?"

She reached out and rested her hands on his shoulders. Her hand brushed over the area hidden by his shirt, and her entire body flushed at the memory. "I'm not going to let my stupid insecurities... ruin the best thing I've had in years."

"B-but you have nothing to be insecure about. I love you very much. And I am neither blind nor stupid. Carolyn has been sending a clear 'stay away' signal since she, uh, we ended it."

Her entire body trembled, and she wondered at the wave of relief that washed over her. "I love you, too." She turned away and walked back into the kitchen, grabbing a bottle of water out of the fridge.

He sat on the couch and buried his head under his arms. He was starting to flounder and he had no idea what to do about it, since his stability relied on the woman who was causing it. "Do you mind if I have a beer?"

She nodded and grabbed one for him, then made her way back to the couch, sitting down beside him. Resting her head lightly on his shoulder, she handed it to him.

"Thanks." He shifted uncomfortably. "You worry me."

"I know." She took a long drink of water. "But... I've only ever had one other man... that made me want to fight for him like this."

He looked surprised. "F-Fight?"

She nodded, resting her hand on his thigh. "I'm not just going to sit back... You're worth a hell of a lot more to me than that."

He raised his hands. "Who do you think you have to fight...and why do you think I would show any interest at all in another woman?"

She shook her head. "I don't know." Her hand ran over his thigh. "Just the thought that... any other woman would show interest in you..."

"Interest in me doesn't mean interest in her, Alex."

"I know. I know. It's insane." She gently pushed him back against the arm of the couch and settled herself on his chest, just wanting to be close to him. Needing it.

He wrapped his arm around her. "Are you busy this weekend?"

She thought for a moment. "No."

"What would you think of a cabin, with a nice fireplace, a couple of bottles of wine and a big, warm bed?"

She reached out and smoothed his hair back. "That depends. That wouldn't be any fun alone..."

"Suppose I sent along a man who adores you and wants nothing more than to..." He trailed off. He was making trouble for himself. "I mean..." He kissed her temple. "I..." Another feather light kiss brushed over her ear. "Oh, God...please...come with me..."

She found his lips with hers, and one hand slid under his shirt. "Okay. I'll go," she whispered against his lips.

"G-go where?"

She smirked. "Wherever. I don't care. I just want to be with you."

He leaned his head back and closed his eyes. "Did I finish that beer?"

She shook her head. "I don't think so." She reluctantly slid off of him and sat down on the floor in front of the couch. Her head fell back against the cushion, and her eyes slid shut. "I love you." She couldn't say that enough.

He reached out and stroked her hair. "Why'd you move?"

She shrugged and rose to her feet. "I thought that room over there would be more comfortable..."

"You didn't get enough last night?" he asked, teasing.

"Fine. Be like that," she said, crossing her arms. "Like I said, I'm a big girl."

He got to his feet and started toward her. "I'm bigger," he growled playfully.

She stuck her tongue out, then darted into the bedroom when he chased after her. "But I'm faster!"

"Oh, no you're not," he replied as he gracefully slid behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist. He buried his face in her neck to make her laugh, and then he whispered into her ear, "After this weekend, I swear you will never suffer another insecurity about me."

She leaned back against him, closing her eyes. "When are we leaving?" she whispered back.

"Whenever you want."

His breath caressed her skin, and she shivered. "Now."

"Let's go. I can be packed in five."

She smiled and slowly pulled away from him, then went over to her closet. Pulling out a duffle bag, she began packing several different outfits, including a string bikini and several other articles of clothing she knew would make him insane.

When she was ready, they stopped at his place, where he tossed a couple of shirts, two pairs of jeans, boxers, socks, a pair of swim trunks in a bag, and he grabbed his blue suit with the striped tie she loved the most. Back in the car, he slid into the passenger seat.

Once they were out of the city, and the lighting was much more sparse, he reached over, sliding his hand under her shirt. He began by caressing her stomach, slowly making his way toward her chest. His thumb grazed first one nipple then the other, and he alternated his fondling.

She shuddered and gripped the steering wheel until her knuckles turned white. "Bobby...you can't behave for two seconds, can you?"

"No," he answered, leaning over to nip her earlobe.

She pulled her head away, jumping slightly. "Hey! Come on..."

"I will. If you give me a little time," he replied, gently squeezing and caressing.

At his probing fingers, she swerved and nearly went off of the road. "Baby! Please..."

"Pull over," he whispered.

She sighed and drummed her fingers against the wheel. She knew that if she didn't, there was a good chance that she would wind up getting into an accident. So she pulled over and turned the engine off, then turned to face him.

He smiled and leaned over to kiss her.

An hour and a half later, as the sun was falling beyond the horizon, they finally reached the cabin. "We would have been here sooner," she complained as she turned off the ignition. "But you needed a little detour..."

He smiled at her again. "But it was so worth it, don't you think?"

She rolled her eyes playfully and climbed out of the SUV. Everything was bathed in an orange glow, and a smile touched her lips.

He noticed her smile when he got out of the car. He glanced toward the west, where the glow of the setting sun bathed the lake, making it look like it was on fire. He walked around to her and slid his arms around her waist.

She gladly leaned against him, her hands settling over his as he drew her closer. "Let's get inside," she whispered, eager to see that fireplace.

"After you, baby."

She reluctantly slid from his arms and headed up the steps, then waited at the door for him.

He grabbed the bags, then joined her at the door, which he quickly unlocked.

She stepped inside, smiling in appreciation at the cozy cabin. Her attention was drawn to the fireplace, and she slowly walked over.

"I'll start a fire," he offered.

She nodded, her mind already conjuring ideas of what she wanted to do once it was lit...

It didn't take him long to get the fire started. Squatting in front of the fireplace, he balanced on the balls of his feet as he watched the flames.

After putting her bag on the couch, she walked over to the fireplace and knelt down behind him, kissing his neck softly as she eased her arms around his waist.

He dropped to his knees and turned toward her, pulling her down to the floor as he kissed her.

She grinned and pulled him down closer, her arms going around his neck. Her eyes met his, and she ran her thumb over his cheek. "Hi."

He smiled. "Hi, yourself."

She looked in the direction of the bedroom, then at him. Her fingers weaved through his hair. "I'm glad... I'm glad we're here."

"I was hoping this would be the right thing...for us."

Her arms tightened around his neck, and she gently turned him over so that he was on his back and she was lying on his chest. "This is going to be an amazing weekend."

He weaved his fingers through her hair. "That was my plan."

"It's a good plan."

"I have them from time to time."

"You have them a lot more than that." She dipped her head down and kissed him softly.

He sighed. "Some are better than others."

She slid her hand under his shirt and stroked his skin. "I have an idea..."

He watched her from under half-closed lids, enjoying the course of her hands over his skin. "Let's hear it."

She smirked and slowly rolled his shirt up. "Actually, forget that." She dipped her head and gently trailed her lips up his chest. "New idea."

He made a sound that was a cross between a groan and a gasp, and he pulled her waist more firmly into him.

She smirked and slowly unbuttoned his jeans, then urged him to sit up before she pulled his shirt off. Once he was laying back down, she shed her own shirt before kissing him again.

He groaned into her mouth and worked her shirt up toward her head. Once it was off, he returned to the kiss, and deftly snapped open the clasp of her bra, giving him access to one of his favorite areas of her body.

Her head fell back as she groaned softly. "Bobby..."

The arch of her back granted his mouth easy access to the soft, firm mounds he'd been teasing with his hands. "Hmm?" he answered absently.

Any thoughts were lost as she gently pushed his hands away, then lifted herself and moved his jeans away. With a soft groan, she pushed his boxers away, then sank down on him.

He gasped and groaned deeply when she settled on him. He was more than ready for her. Bracing his hands on her hips, he guided her movement.

She rested her hands on his chest, her head falling forward as she moved up and down as slowly as her body would allow.

She was moving much too slowly for his liking, and he shifted beneath her, his hands seeking the sensitive spot he'd found earlier that would have her squirming...and just the thought of that drove him closer to his edge.

She pushed his hand away and continued to move slowly, enjoying his frustration.

His hand didn't stay gone for long and he continued searching. Remembering what had happened when he'd found that spot earlier made him groan again and he felt himself harden even more, which he hadn't thought possible.

Annoyed, she grabbed his hands and pinned them above his head, then kissed him.

"Oh, God," he groaned, shifting his hips against her after a half-hearted struggle.

"No," she growled, gently biting his ear.

"Y-Yes," he insisted, shifting again.

"No." She tightened her hand on his wrists and stopped moving her hips completely.

He growled under his breath. "Come on, baby...please..."

"No," she repeated insistently. She applied more pressure to his wrists, then slowly moved again.

He squirmed restlessly, seeking the friction his body craved. He knew he didn't have to let her have this. With little effort, he could flip her over and finish them both off. But the devilish glimmer of delight that suffused the heat of passion in her eyes was driving him nuts.

She ran her thumb along the inside of his wrist, then gently bit down on his neck. She was having so much fun with this, but she knew that he could easily free himself and flip her over, and the idea made her burn. She loved the control, but she loved giving him the control, too. She freed one hand and ran it along his side.

He took advantage of his freed hand to resume his search for her ticklish spot, still trying to move against her. The hand she stroked up and down his side fed fuel to the fire in his body. He wouldn't last much longer. As it was he barely had control of his movements.

She shivered and pushed his hand away, antagonizing him purposefully.

His eyes burned bright with the fever of passion, and his hand returned stubbornly to her body. Her torture was wonderfully excruciating and his body was screaming for release.

She wiggled her hips against his. "I can do this all night," she breathed against his ear.

"I...I...c-can't..." he gasped.

She shrugged, gently tugging on his lip with her teeth. "Then do something about it," she growled.

He had permission. He took control, gently flipping her onto her back. His fevered body took over entirely as his thrusts increased in speed. His mouth sought hers and his hands helped drive her quickly to the edge, and he kept going. He had no will to stop.

She grabbed at his shoulders, her eyes shutting as he moved against her. "Bobby..." He moved faster, and she groaned as her release washed over her.

His release came with hers, hard and incredibly intense. Everything around him faded to black as he drove deep and hard into her and shuddered, a deep groan caught in her name at the back of his throat. The world vanished, and there was only her.

She slid her arms around him and held him as she fought to catch her breath. Her hand moved absently over his damp back. "Love you..."

"Y-you're gonna k-kill me...doing that..." he murmured, physically exhausted and emotionally sated.

Her hand stilled. "Don't say that," she mumbled, never wanting to let him go.

"God...Alex..." He resumed caressing her, absently continuing his search for that one spot he knew existed someplace close. Of course there was one spot he could tickle that he knew would drive her out of her mind, but he needed to recover a little more before he did that.

She rubbed his back gently, her thoughts driven elsewhere, a place she didn't want them to go. Instead, she tried to focus on his hand and the path it was taking along her body.

He felt himself drifting toward sleep and he fought it, until he felt her suddenly tense. He opened his eyes, concerned. "What's wrong?"

She shook her head. "Nothing." She wasn't about to ruin this weekend. She hugged him closer and kissed his head.

"What? What'd I do?"

"Nothing. You didn't do anything," she assured him, her attention drawn to the fire.

He caressed the inner side of her thigh, pleading softly. "Aw, Alex...come on, baby. Talk to me. It's gonna bother me until you do."

"Bobby, it's nothing. I'm fine." She slowly shifted so they were both on their sides. Then she moved backward so that her back was pressed to his chest, and she pulled his arm over her waist and held it there.

Stroking her waist, he said, "You're a terrible liar. Tell me what's bothering you, or I'm gonna go into the other room and go to sleep."

She tensed and turned over, pressing her face into his chest as she breathed shakily. "It's stupid..."

"Tell me."

She pressed her face further into his chest. "You keep saying that... and I just...don't want to think about losing you..." She sighed wearily.

"Baby, I'm not going anywhere. Do you have any idea how much I have wanted this...how long I have wanted you? I'm not letting you go."

"I know." She kissed his chest. "I want you, too."

"Then don't shut me out. Tell me what's bothering you."

"I told you. You keep saying... that this is going to kill you... I know how ridiculous I sound, but it scares me," she said, the last part coming out in a rushed breath.

He frowned. "I don't mean it literally."

"I know, I know." She draped her arm over his waist, and she hugged him closer.

He tickled her skin. "I mean...you drive me out of my mind and it feels so damn good...Killing me like that...it's a very good thing, and you do it better than anyone else ever has."

She breathed deeply, then freed herself from his embrace. Ignoring his confused look, she walked over to the couch and began going through her bag. "I have a surprise for you..."

He folded his arms behind his head, enjoying the view of her naked body and feeling himself stirring again.

She picked up the items she was looking for, then brought them back to the fireplace. Sitting down beside him, she leaned back against his raised legs and opened the container of strawberries.

He watched her with interest, his curiosity roused.

She grinned and held up one of the strawberries to her lips, then licked the tip of it with her tongue.

He groaned and swallowed hard.

A grin tugged at the corner of her mouth, and she slowly bit into the piece of red fruit.

"Oh...baby..." He tenderly stroked the inside of her thigh, eyes once more reflecting the heat of rising passion.

She smirked and finished the strawberry, then picked up another one, along with a small container of chocolate sauce. Pleased at his sharp intake of breath, she dipped the strawberry into it, purposefully drizzling some of it on her chest. "Oops..."

"Here," he whispered. "Let me help you..."

She playfully pushed his hand away, spilling more sauce on herself in the process.

He pushed himself up off the floor and playfully tackled her, spilling the sauce across her abdomen and ignoring the mess as he pinned her body to the floor with his. He began to slowly, meticulously clean the sauce off her skin with his tongue.

She groaned and chuckled throatily at the sensations his tongue was creating. The man was talented... Her eyes fluttered shut.

He continued his task, pausing at each breast in turn and slowly teasing one nipple, then the other and back again, until he was certain each was cleared of chocolate. Then he continued his path down her torso...and his hands found their own activity to busy themselves, to tease, tickle and torment her as she had done to him earlier.

Her own hands began to move over his body, tracing over old scars that she intended to ask him about later. She raised her head a little and kissed his shoulder.

He focused on her with singular intensity. Slowly, he slid his mouth down her body and then he smiled. He knew the one spot that would have her squirming and he sought it out.

When he hit that spot, she jumped and gasped, nearly knocking him off balance.

He chuckled and returned with delight to that place that gave him the response he had been craving from her.

"Bobby!" She struggled against him half heartedly. "No, get away from there, or so help me..."

He ignored her with another throaty laugh and he continued what he was doing.

"Fine..." she growled. "You asked for it." She reached out and closed her hand around his member, her thumb slowly moving up and down the length of it.

He gasped and groaned. It felt so good...His pace and intensity changed, from playful to sensual.

She smirked and pushed his shoulder, flipping him onto his back. "What did I tell you?" she hissed, continuing to caress him. "I always win..."

"Keep going..."

She decided to change tactics, and ignoring her protesting body, she moved away from him. "No." She loved to mess with him.

He frowned as everything came to a screaming halt. He wasn't sure he'd heard her right. "Wh-what?"

_Oh, damn_... She groaned, then lifted her leg and pinned him to the floor. "You're taking this too seriously," she whispered, gently tugging on his earlobe with her teeth.

"I, er...I take everything seriously," he whispered, settling back into her arms and hoping she would resume what she'd been doing.

She gladly welcomed him back into her arms and kissed his forehead, her hand sliding down his stomach.

"Why do you always stop me?" he asked, genuinely curious.

"Huh?" Her hand paused where it was.

"You keep stopping me."

"Stopping you...?" Her mind was drawing a blank as she ran her fingertips up and down his member.

He was losing his train of thought rapidly and his eyes slid closed.

She touched her lips to his, then settled her head on his shoulder. She loved being close to him, and her hand moved over him as she teased him slowly.

"C-Can we...go...to the bed?" he asked.

"Why? Does your back hurt?" she asked, concerned.

"My back...no. I just...want to...uh...trust me?"

"You know I do."

"Bed?"

She reluctantly pulled away and rose shakily to her feet. Offering him her hand, she waited for him to stand up.

He took advantage of the break in her fondling to regroup and calm. He wasn't ready yet to give himself over to her, but his body was betraying his will. Bringing her hand to his mouth he kissed it and then, to reassure her, he teased the inside of her wrist with the tip of his tongue.

She drew him into her arms and hugged him tightly, then pulled away and studied his eyes. Her curiosity was getting the better of her, and she walked away, heading in the direction of the bedroom.

He followed her, smiling. Once they were in the bedroom, he watched her stretch out on the bed and he sat beside her, facing her. Quietly, he said, "There are just a few spots on your body that give me the reaction I got before. But every time I find one...you make me stop. Why?"

She turned onto her side and quirked an eyebrow. "Because... they make me laugh... and it gets hard for me to..." She threw up one hand in frustration. "To concentrate."

"Trust me...I can get you past that."

Fire blazed in her eyes, and she pulled him down on top of her. "Prove it," she challenged, a small smile quirking her lips.

"Let me," he returned her challenge.

"I'm right here." She raised her head and kissed him deeply.

His fingers stroked her sides and he lowered her back onto the mattress.

She wrapped her arms around his back, and her fingertips danced across the small of his back.

His eyes half-closed and he arched toward her instinctively. Then he shook his head and pulled her arms away from his body. "My turn," he murmured, kissing her.

She swallowed a retort and reluctantly lowered her arms, settling back against the pillows.

She had teased and tortured him to distraction before. Now...it was his turn. She was difficult to draw out, but not impossible. He'd found two of her sensitive spots, and he knew there were more, so he began the search.

She cursed silently as her hands itched to move, but she forced them to remain at her sides.

He moved with painstaking slowness, burning to enter her, but wanting this even more. His hands were skilled, but he knew he would have much greater success with his mouth and tongue, so he switched tactics and watched her for any clue that he found what he was searching for. He knew her well, knew she would try to hide it. It was his job to find the place he sought, know when he found it, and tease and taunt the hell out of her. Then he could drive them both to satisfied exhaustion.

Her insides were turning to goo as his stubble scraped the insides of her thighs, and she gripped the sheets in her fists until her knuckles turned white. She knew exactly what he was doing, and there was no way she was going to help him. He was going to have to work for it.

This was more difficult than he thought it would be. She was fighting to suppress any reaction, and it was driving him crazy. So he tried a different angle and changed the rate of stimulation, and he watched.

Her toes curled, and she bit her tongue to keep from crying out.

There it was. Time to intensify..

Her head tossed to the side, and her back arched. Damn him...

Keep going... Faster.

She tasted the copper in her mouth, but she ignored it. Every muscle in her body locked as she fought what he was attempting.

He knew she was fighting it, and he relished the challenge. So he continued, changing his angle...

Stars exploded behind her eyelids, and she went limp against the pillows as her chest heaved. Damn, the man was good... She had to give him that...

He worked his way back up her body and positioned himself over her. "Was it worth the fight?" he murmured huskily.

She didn't even have the strength to hug him as he settled over her. She could only manage a small nod.

He laughed softly and slowly entered her, thrusting even more slowly...

He was very good. As soon as he began moving into her, warmth flooded through her entire body, and she snaked her arms around him and kissed him softly.

Frantic was done. It was time for tender. Fighting himself, he continued moving slowly, caressing her with his entire body, inside and out.

She began tracing absent patterns over his skin as her eyelids fluttered open. "You know something?" she whispered, caressing his back.

"Hmm?"

"You don't ever have to leave..."

His mind was racing and he wasn't paying much attention to words. "Where would I go?" he asked absently as he shifted his position and made her gasp.

"Anywhere." She inhaled sharply. "I want you to stay right here..."

"You got it," he murmured against her skin, increasing his speed a little.

"Good." She held him tighter, smoothing her hand over his damp hair.

"Shh, don't talk, baby...just...feel..."

She buried a hand in his hair and nodded slowly. Her legs wrapped around his waist in an effort to pull him closer. She could never get enough of him, and now she knew that she would never have to worry about it again...

It seemed to take forever, but he loved every second of it, bringing her again over her edge, following quickly with his own. It wasn't as mind-blurringly intense as the first had been, but it was just as amazing. Snuggling into her body, he held her close and kissed her deeply before finally succumbing to sleep. She was the best thing that had ever happened to him, and he wasn't going to let her forget it.

She held him close as he drifted off to sleep, her mind too active for her to give into her own need to sleep. Instead, she laid there and stroked his damp curls absently. She had never felt this close with someone, even her late husband, and she wondered at that fact.

He stirred against her, and she pulled him closer and rubbed his shoulder. "Shh," she murmured, kissing his head. He settled against her again, and she relaxed. Her eyes went around the bedroom, and she smiled. The cabin really was beautiful, and she could already tell that this weekend was going to be something indescribable. She kissed his head again. "Love you, Bobby..."

CICICICICICICICICICICICICICICICICICICICICICICICICICI

Her entire body was shaking as she sat on the toilet, her arms wrapped protectively around herself. She had never meant for this to happen. She didn't want to cut Bobby out of her life, but he had done that himself, and she didn't know how to make it right. Her eyes drifted down to the ID bracelet on her wrist, and she glared angrily at it.

Mike walked down the hall and pushed open the door to Carolyn's room. He was surprised to find it empty, until he saw the light coming from underneath the bathroom door. He knocked.

She jumped slightly at the intrusive noise, wiping at her eyes. "What?"

"Would you get out here?"

_Mike_... "Why? I'm fine in here."

"Bullshit. Get out here."

He was pissed, and it only made her stomach churn. She slowly stood up and rested against the door. "I'm at the hospital, Logan, and I'm not leaving. What more do you want from me?"

"I want you to come out here."

She looked at her arms, then pulled her shirt off and pulled on a long sleeved one that she had tossed onto the floor earlier. Rubbing the crucifix that hung from her neck, she slowly unlocked the door and looked at him expectantly.

He motioned his head for her to step out of the bathroom and he moved across the room, waiting.

She reluctantly followed him, unsure of exactly what he was doing.

"Did you get what you wanted from Goren, cause he doesn't seem too happy."

"He got what he wanted. He's not going to be around me anymore."

Logan looked confused. "What he wanted? Sweetheart, if I got what I wanted I wouldn't look like someone just shot my best friend."

She lowered her head. "I sure as hell didn't want it."

"You crossed your wires somewhere then, 'cause neither does he."

"I tried, Mike! He walked away, and I tried to stop him." The image was burned into her mind, and she blinked furiously. "But he kept walking."

"You dated the guy, and you don't know him. I never let him get away with that shit."

"Maybe I don't know him." She walked across the floor and to the window, sitting carefully on the ledge.

"Yeah, well...you're not alone. He makes it damn hard." He crossed over to the window and slipped an arm around her shoulders, pulling her against his chest. He sighed. "Take my advice, sweetheart. Don't let him get away with it. Alex will get over it. If you don't want to lose his friendship, beat him over the head with it." He kissed her temple. "And I am sorry I was an asshole. Old habits are hard to break."

She flinched at the pain in her shoulders, but settled her head on his chest. "Yeah, they are." A tear slipped down her cheek, and she raised her hand and wiped it away.

"Don't cry. We'll get it all worked out. Now tell me why you keep tensing up like I'm going to hurt you."

She looked up and met his eyes for a brief moment, then stared at the wall behind him. Her hands moved slowly as she raised the sleeves of her shirt, revealing the handprints that had been imprinted into her skin.

He stared at the bruises, fury tightening his gut. Now he wished Goren had gotten in to see Cummings in the SVU squadroom. But he swallowed the anger. It was not what she needed to see. Gently, he grasped the hem of her shirt and moved it up her torso, searching for other marks or bruises. His fingers glided gently over her skin in what he hoped was a manner that would reassure her.

She shivered and leaned closer to him, wanting to push his hands away. She didn't want him to see the bruises and cuts, especially the ones she knew covered her back. He would never see her the same way again, and that was something she was sure she wouldn't be able to handle.

He continued his search, every mark feeding the fury that grew in his gut. But he struggled to suppress it. When he was done examining her stomach, back and shoulders, he pushed the shirt higher and studied the teeth marks on her breasts. He closed his eyes. Okay, he wasn't the brightest guy in the world and he made more than his share of mistakes. His most recent mistake was not killing Cummings. Damn Goren--they were even. He leaned closer and placed a soft kiss on her jaw. "I'm sorry."

She trembled and buried herself in his arms as the pain flooded over her anew. He hadn't run away, and that was something in itself. She inhaled deeply, willing the pain to stop.

He ran his fingers lightly over her back, trying not to cause her more pain. "It's gonna be okay," he said. "We'll get it all worked out."

She reluctantly nodded, grasping the front of his shirt. She saw the bruises on her arms, and she let go and pulled her sleeves down over the ugly marks again.

"Maybe I was out of line telling you that Goren really didn't want to break up with you, but he did me a turn when he stopped me from killing the bastard who did this. I would call us even."

She nodded again. "I'm thankful...you didn't," she spoke softly.

"And I'm sorry I didn't."

"But I would have lost you," she pointed out, taking a ragged breath.

"Justice comes at a price, Carolyn."

"I'd rather him rot in jail than having to visit you there..."

"If he gets convicted..."

She tensed against him. "He will," she whispered. "He did it. The DNA... the marks he left on me...And I can ID him."

"You know how it goes, sweetheart. Guilt doesn't necessarily mean conviction. We'll do everything we can to get the son of a bitch, but...if he gets off...I can't promise anything."

Her breath caught in her lungs. "He is... They're going to convict him... He was going to kill both of us..." She shuddered, clenching her eyes shut.

"Both of who?"

She shivered in his arms. "Me...and my baby..."

"Baby...? Did your pregnancy test come back positive?"

"I haven't... taken one yet. But... I know..."

He rubbed his forehead. "Your dream."

"Yes...I think." She sighed and started to pull away from him. "I don't know."

He tightened his arms, not letting her pull away. "No. I'm done with your bullshit, Carolyn. You need to stop pulling away and feeling sorry for yourself. If you want me, you've got me, but I don't play friggin' games. Not like that. It's all or nothing. I don't do in-between."

She winced, then forced herself to relax against him. "I do want you. But you have to believe me. I know I'm pregnant. I just...know."

"Whatever. If you are, you are and we'll deal with it. But quit freaking out on me."

She rubbed her temple. "I'm sorry. I'm trying. But it's hard..." She exhaled deeply and allowed her head to rest against his shoulder. "I love you. You know that, right?"

"Sometimes I do. Sometimes I wonder."

She stared at the wall, hating herself for making him question that.

"I'm... sorry, then."

"What are you sorry for?"

"For...making you think that, even for a second."

"So quit being so wishy-washy."

"I'm not. I'm being honest, damn it!"

"So what does that mean when you pull me close and then push me away? Because that message is as clear as mud as far as I'm concerned."

She ignored her stiff muscles as she slid her arms around him and hugged him tightly. "Is this clear enough?"

His mouth quirked into a grin. "Keep going."

She trembled slightly and tucked her head under his chin. Pausing, she hesitated for a moment before touching his back with her fingertips.

He closed his eyes and ran his fingers through her hair, gently combing out the tangles. He wondered if loving her would always be so complicated.

She buried her face in his chest, groaning softly. She wanted him, and she wanted to believe that she had gotten past this. But she had to be realistic. She knew that physically, she was still reeling from the attack. And any intimacy would be close to impossible for her, no matter how badly she wanted it. So she buried those longings and exhaled deeply as his hands weaved through her hair.

"Look," he said gently. "I understand that this has been a deeply traumatic experience for you. I understand the dynamics of rape and the effects it can have on the vics. I need you to know...I am not going anywhere. I'm here for what you need and I'll be waiting when you're ready. So take your time and deal with this in your own time. Now I'm going to go get a bite of dinner, and then I'm going to have it out with a cop and I'll be back."

She didn't want him to leave, but she nodded and slowly stood up. Then she wound her arms around him and kissed his cheek. "Thanks..."

He rested a hand on her cheek and kissed her gently. "Get some rest, honey." He walked to the door, turning at the last minute. "You have a message for your old boyfriend?"

Her hand rested where his lips had touched hers. "Yeah... He's an idiot, and... and I still want him around."

He nodded. "Okay. I'll pound it in to him." He winked at her. "Ask them for something to help you sleep."

She shook her head and walked over to the bed, laying down. "No, I'll be fine."

"If you're not sleeping when I get back, I'll ask them for you."

She shook her head again. "I'll sleep. They're not giving me anything."

"I love you, Barek."

He left the room.

She stared at the door. "I love you, Mike." Then she settled back against the pillows and closed her eyes.

TBC...

A/N: Okay, everyone, there ya'll have it. And don't even think that the action has died down. Mwahahhahaha...


	28. My Best Friend

Warning: Lots and lots of smut. Yep... that's about it... Enjoy.

Disclaimer: Not ours!

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Alex stretched and yawned as she slowly awoke. There was a pressure on her chest, and she smiled and stroked Bobby's hair. He didn't move, and she slowly slid away and stretched, then walked into the living room to explore the rest of the cabin.

In the living room, she was surprised to see a CD player and a stack of C.D.'s, and she smiled in the direction of the bedroom. Bobby... She picked up one C.D. and turned on the CD player. Then she put the CD in and hit Play, turning the volume up just loud enough so that she could hear it as she walked around the cabin.

Stepping into the kitchen, she hummed softly as she trailed her fingertips along the counter. Her thoughts returned to the previous night, and she shivered as her body flushed.

After peering into the fridge and cabinets, she walked back into the living room and over to the fireplace. Picking up a box of matches, she carefully started a fire, then rocked back on her heels as it roared and crackled.

Several minutes later, she finally returned to the bedroom with a soft smile on her face. Bobby was buried under the covers, and she could hear him snore softly. She approached the bed, pausing before she lowered her head and softly kissed his temple. "I love you," she whispered into his ear. Then she walked back out of the room, not wanting to interrupt his much needed sleep.

Sitting down on the couch, she leaned back and relaxed, letting the warmth from the fire wash over her. She hoped he would wake up soon, but she wasn't going to wake him up.

Bobby rolled over in the bed, stretching and reaching to the bed beside him. It was empty. Sitting up, he looked around the room. The curtains were pulled closed, blocking out the sun. Slipping from the bed, he opened the curtains, letting in the light. Their bags sat just inside the door. He pulled on a pair of boxers and sweatpants and he left the bedroom.

He saw her sitting on the couch, and he crept up behind her, leaning over to nuzzle her neck, gently nipping at her soft skin.

She smiled and twined her arms around his neck, finding his lips with hers. When he pulled away, she smiled again. "Hey..."

"How are you this morning?"

"Hmm... Fantastic..."

He smiled, reaching over to stroke her thigh. "Ready for round two?"

She caught his hand with hers and shook her head. "Actually, there's something else I'd like to do."

Surprised, he straightened away from the couch. "What's that?"

She stood up and walked over to him, turning up the soft music as she did. "I want to dance... with the very talented Bobby Goren."

He smiled and took her in his arms. "I think I can accommodate that request."

She smiled and snuggled into his arms, resting her head against his chest. "Good."

His fingers caressed her skin as he guided her effortlessly around the open room.

_I never had no one _

_I could count on _

_I've been let down so many times _

_I was tired of hurting _

_So tired of searching _

_Till you walked into my life _

_It was a feeling I'd never known _

_And for the first time _

_I didn't feel alone_

"You know," she murmured, running her hand over his back. "You are an amazing dancer..."

"Thank you. You're not so bad yourself."

She rolled her eyes. "I was always... so jealous of those other women... They got to dance with you, and I didn't."

"Really?"

"Of course. Being that close to you..." Her hands went down to his hips, and she squeezed gently. "Getting to touch you..."

He leaned down and kissed her. "Driving me up a wall..."

She returned the kiss eagerly. "And now, I don't ever want to dance with anyone else."

_You're more than a lover _

_There could never be another _

_To make me feel the way you do _

_Oh we just get closer _

_I fall in love all over _

_Every time I look at you _

_I don't know where I'd be _

_Without you here with me _

_Life with you makes perfect sense _

_You're my best friend _

_You're my best friend_

"Do you think I want you to?" he murmured softly, looking deeply into her eyes.

She smiled tenderly and reached up, gently caressing his cheek. "I'd never want to."

He pressed his hips into her and kissed her again, teasing her lips with his tongue.

She slid her arms around his neck and ran her fingers through his hair, eagerly deepening the kiss.

He backed her slowly toward the couch, then lowered her to the cushions, gently pinning her down with his hips.

She let him lay her down, running one hand over his back. "I love you, Bobby," she murmured, kissing him softly.

"Oh, baby...I love you, too."

Her mouth turned up in another smile as she slid her hands beneath the waistband of his sweatpants.

He gasped softly, and then he smiled. "Are you ready for more...now?"

"Yes," she breathed into his ear. "Now."

He was delighted to comply and he slipped his hands underneath the shirt she was wearing. "This shirt looks better on you than it does on me," he whispered. "But I think I prefer you in nothing at all."

She smirked. "Am I fighting it?"

He raised his eyebrows. "Do you want to try?'

She quirked an eyebrow. "I could..." she retorted.

"Go for it, baby, " he challenged.

He asked for it... Wrapping her legs around his waist, she grunted softly as she flipped him onto the carpeted floor.

He hit the floor with a surprised 'oof' and she straddled him, laughing. He smiled. He'd asked for it...His fingers trailed up her thigh, seeking her sensitive inner thigh, up to the place where he thigh joined her pelvis, the same spot that drove her so crazy last night, and once she was distracted, he turned the tables on her, pinning her down and seeking the challenge he'd accepted last night of trying to get her to laugh along the path to arousal.

She growled and struggled against him, delighting when she was able to flip him onto his back again. Then she grabbed his wrists and held them to the carpet above his head. "Who do you think you are, Goren?" she growled, moving her hips against his.

He laughed. "Um...the man who loves you?"

She was surprised by his answer. "Good answer."

"Honest answer."

She stared down at him, a warm smile curving her lips. "Smart man."

"That's what they say."

She settled on his chest, enjoying the close contact. "It's true," she murmured, trailing her fingertips over his chest.

He brought his arms down to wrap around her torso. "I can't be rough with you," he murmured softly.

She snuggled closer to him, her hips rolling against his. "You're no fun," she complained, amusement twinkling in her dark eyes.

"I can give you fun. I can't risk hurting you."

"You could never hurt me, Bobby..."

He shook his head. "I would never _mean_ to hurt you."

She reached down and cupped him firmly. "You would never hurt me," she repeated insistently.

He closed his eyes, enjoying her fondling for a moment before he replied. "Face facts," he murmured. "I am not a little guy. And I can get carried away sometimes. I would never intend to hurt you, but the reality is I possibly could."

She continued to stroke him gently. "Fine," she muttered, rolling his sweatpants off of his hips. Before he could say a word, she sank down on him, grasping his shoulders firmly as she did.

He gasped and pressed his head back against the floor, thrusting toward her with a groan.

She rose up, not moving for as long as she could. If he wasn't going to give her what she wanted, she was going to have to take it... She dropped down fast, her nails digging into his skin as her head fell backward.

He gasped and closed his eyes, struggling with his own control.

At his gasp, she leaned forward and brushed her lips against his, her hand reaching behind his neck to cup his head gently.

He chased her lips with a teasing tongue and suddenly rolled...and she was beneath him again. He hesitated to wrestle with her in a state of heavy arousal┘but he never said he wouldn't play with her...

She smirked and wrapped her legs tightly around his waist, pulling him closer.

He allowed himself the freedom to kiss, lick and nip her neck and along her collarbone. Her hands continued to play with his hair and stroke his back as her hips moved against him. She arched up and back off, over and over, and her teasing drove him to faster, harder thrusting. Then she took a sudden turn, from soft groans and gentle nips to rapid panting and harder biting. Beneath him, she moved faster, more desperately. His control slipped away as she begged him for more, so he gave it.

With a sharp gasp, she finally tumbled over the edge into pleasure, her entire body going slack. Through her haze, she saw him above her, and she reached out and caressed his cheek, then moved her hips, urging him toward his own release.

He put it off as long as he could, relishing the anticipation, before he finally relaxed and gave himself over to the release that was waiting for him.

He settled on top of her, and she gladly welcomed the action, her arms winding around him. She never wanted to let him go. Her hand began tracing absent circles over his back as her body slowly calmed. "You make the perfect blanket," she whispered, kissing his head.

"I'm a bit heavy to be a blanket," he commented. He rolled to the side and caressed her side as he kissed her neck.

She groaned, missing his warm bulk. "Come back here..."

He laughed softly and got to his feet, pulling his pants back on. "I don't know about you, but I'm hungry."

She fell back onto her back and tucked her hands under her head, enjoying the view. When he pulled his pants on, she glared at him. "Hey, that's not fair."

He looked over his shoulder and grinned. "I am not going to grill anything with no clothes on."

She snorted and pushed herself to her feet. "Fine." She walked past him and went into the bedroom, then came back out fully dressed.

"Hey...you're not grilling."

"So? If I don't get to look at you..."

He held out his arms, emphasizing the fact that he was not wearing a shirt. With a half smile he turned back to the counter and continued preparing the two steaks in front of him for the grill. He carried the meat to the back deck, fired up the grill, and after a few minutes, laid the steaks on it and lowered the lid.

She followed him out onto the deck, then waited until the steaks were on the grill before she snaked her arms around him and kissed his bare back. "Do you want to go swimming later? That lake looks amazing..."

"Whatever you want to do. My sole aim this weekend is to make you happy."

She smiled. "Okay... Then you can't wear your swim trunks..."

"Then how am I supposed to...oh..."

She smirked and trailed her lips down the middle of his back. "Exactly."

He shivered at the stimulation of her mouth along his spine, placing his hands over hers.

Her hands drifted over his stomach, and she rested her head against his back. "Do we really have to eat?" she complained, hugging him.

"If you expect me to keep up with you, I need something to give me energy. Besides, I have a really nice wine to go with these steaks."

She sighed. "Fine." She hugged him again, then went back inside to change again.

When she was gone, he felt very alone, almost empty, and he missed her. How pathetic was that?

She changed quickly, pulling on a pair of ragged blue jeans and one of his shirts, smiling as his scent enveloped her. Pulling her hair back away from her face, she walked back out onto the deck, but paused at the door. For a moment, she simply watched him, a warm smile creeping over her face.

A soft sound registered in his ears and he turned toward her. "You look good in my clothes," he commented.

She smirked and walked over to him, hugging him tightly. "I love wearing your clothes."

"Why? They're huge on you."

She grinned. "Exactly."

Her hands moved over his bare back as she studied his dark eyes.

He did not hesitate to maintain eye contact with her. "What do you want with your steak? I'll put in potatoes.."

She shrugged slightly. "Baked potatoes sound fine..." She ran her thumb over his jaw, then his lips.

He gently nipped her thumb. "Green beans or broccoli?"

She made a face. "Green beans."

He kissed her nose and gave her a hug, then he went into the house to finish preparing the meal.

She went over to the edge of the deck and looked out over their surroundings, enjoying the view. This was exactly what they needed. A weekend, just them, no phones, computers, or anything relating to the outside world. Just the two of them, and the chance for her to claim him in any and every way that came into her mind.

She shifted her hips and continued to admire their surroundings, until the urge to see him got to be too much, and she walked back into the cabin. He was in the kitchen, and she leaned back against the wall and watched him move gracefully in the fairly small space.

He felt her eyes on him and looked up. "Something wrong?"

She smiled contently and shook her head. "No. Everything's perfect."

He raised an eyebrow. "Okay. Good."

He knew he should take advantage of her contentment to work out some of the things that troubled her, but he was reluctant to upset the apple cart, so he let it go. He continued working on the potatoes.

As he worked, she padded into the kitchen and snaked her arms around his waist, then leaned up and kissed his shoulder blade.

"You really don't want me to burn dinner, do you?"

"You were the one who wanted to eat in the first place..."

"I prefer not to eat charcoal."

She sighed and rested her head on his back. "Okay. You're right."

He patted her hands where they rested on his stomach, then lightly ran his fingertips along her arms. With a sigh, he returned to the dinner preparation.

She kissed his back again, then walked out of the kitchen and onto the deck. A cool breeze was blowing, and she closed her eyes and let her head fall back.

She was still enjoying the breeze when he came out onto the deck to turn the steaks. "Penny for your thoughts," he said.

She shook her head, stirred by his soft voice.

"No? You don't want me to know what you were thinking?"

"Not thinking," she murmured. "Just enjoying the breeze."

"Not thinking...What's that like?"

She gave a little shrug. "It's... nice."

"I...I wouldn't know."

"I know." She backed away from the edge of the deck and turned around, wrapping him in a loose hug.

"Sometimes, I wish there was an off button in my head."

She threaded her fingers through his hair. "But then you wouldn't be you..."

"I don't think that would be a bad thing, sometimes...if I was someone else."

She shook her head furiously. "Then you wouldn't be the man I fell in love with."

"Who's to say you wouldn't love me anyway?"

"You wouldn't be Bobby. You wouldn't be the funny, strange, loving man..." She leaned up and kissed him softly. "That I love."

He lowered the top of the grill and turned into her embrace, resting his hands on her hips. "So strange is good?"

"I wouldn't want you any other way."

"You're odd, Eames."

"I know, Goren. You love me anyway."

"Of course. I always have."

"I'm glad you do." She snuggled into his chest.

"Not half as glad as I am to have you." He kissed the top of her head. "Can I ask you something?"

She ran her hands over his back. "What's that?"

"Do you trust me?"

She pulled away and met his dark eyes. "Of course I do."

"Do you doubt that I love you?"

"No."

He leaned against the railing off to the side of the grill. "Then I really need you to explain something to me."

She raised an eyebrow. "Okay. What's that?"

He tipped his head to the side. "Why did you feel so threatened?"

"What?"

"When Carolyn came to talk to me...you felt very threatened. I don't understand why, and I'd like to know."

She went stiff, then began pacing the deck. "I... I don't know..."

"Let's figure it out, then, because it really bothers me."

She slowly raised her head. "Bobby... I don't know. I just..." She scrubbed her hands through her hair. "It's not that I don't like her..."

"I never thought you didn't. Keep going."

"She had you!" Her chin dropped to her chest. "I...wanted you, and she was the one you took home every night..." She crossed her arms over her chest. "I was in love with you..."

He scrubbed his hand over his chin. "But it's over. Why feel threatened now? She has no interest whatsoever in me."

"I don't know. I know that she's in love with Mike." She slowly met his eyes. "And I know you love me."

"Okay, then. I was just a distraction for her, Eames. She never really cared about me."

"Of course she did." She walked to the edge of the deck. "Maybe that's why... I feel so... threatened. She did care about you. She even loved you."

He laughed, but it was a bitter sound. "No, Alex. She never loved me."

She shook her head and stared out into the horizon.

He sighed. "Sex does not mean love, you know. Sex is...well, sex. It doesn't necessarily mean love. Not at all. It never did for me...until now."

"I know. But she did love you. I can see it." She sighed and shook her head.

"I don't know what you saw, but you were wrong."

"I saw it, Bobby," she insisted. "She hides it, but it's there."

He closed his eyes. "I was there. I know what was there, and it wasn't love. It's not love. She's done with me, and that was her choice. So you have nothing to worry about."

She turned around and looked at him, then walked over and slid her arms around him, pulling him close. "I have a question for you now."

Fair was fair. "All right."

"You do know how crazy I am about you, right?"

His mouth quirked into an amused smile. "I'm learning, yes."

She returned his smile, then leaned up and kissed him softly. "Then I couldn't ask for anything else."

"So stop worrying about me with Carolyn, or anyone else. I don't run around."

She studied his face for several long moments, then nodded. "You're right. And I trust you."

He brushed his lips lightly over hers. "I would never hurt you that way."

Her arms wound tighter around him, and she relaxed completely against him for several minutes. Then she suddenly tensed.

He noticed. "What's wrong?"

She pulled out of his arms. "The steaks!"

He turned back to the grill and flipped the lid open, then he laughed. "They're fine, baby."

"That's good. Are they done yet?"

"Not quite."

When he turned to face her again, she held up her hands. "No. I'm hungry now. I'm not eating burned meat."

He smiled, and his eyes glowed with warm affection. "I wouldn't serve you burned meat."

"You had better not," she growled playfully.

He grabbed her waist and pulled her into him. "Or what?" he challenged.

"Hey!" She pushed on his shoulder. "Back off, or it'll be Bobby burgers for dinner."

He laughed and persisted with his playful taunting.

She pushed him away, then darted into the cabin. If he wanted her, he'd have to come get her...

He grabbed the plate from the side of the grill and pulled the steaks off the heat, turning off the gas and closing the bottle's valve. Carrying the steaks inside, he set them on the counter then set to the task of finding Alex.

She heard him walk in, and a childish part of her took over. One of her favorite parts of childhood was scaring her family, and she grinned as she hid behind the bedroom door, able to see into the living room through the crack in the door.

He began to explore, delighted with her playfulness. She continually surprised him and he found himself craving more. He couldn't get enough of her.

She watched him wander around the living room, and she covered her mouth to stifle a snicker.

His sharp eyes scanned the great room, but she wasn't there. He strolled over to the fireplace, squatting down in front of it and stirring the fire. That's exactly what she was doing to him. He was fully capable and willing to play the same game. Slowly, he stood, rising to his full six-foot-four-inch height, and he stretched, rolling his shoulders. Then he went to the kitchen. Slow torture...that seemed to be a specialty of hers. She had to learn that he was equally good at that game. He began to dish out the meal.

She shifted to her other foot as the aroma of the steaks reached her nostrils, and she inhaled deeply, but didn't move. She wasn't about to move. Not until he found her.

He smiled. She was being stubborn. Well, he could be stubborn, too. He set the plates out on the table and returned to the kitchen. He came back to the table with two wine glasses and a bottle, which he opened, filling both glasses. He sat down at the table, folded his hands, and he waited.

She shifted again and leaned back against the wall, crossing her arms over her chest. Damn, he was sure taking his time finding her...

He poked at his food with his fork and continued to wait.

Slowly, she creeped out from behind the door, careful to stay out of sight. Then she slipped into the closet and dug around in his duffle bag, looking for one of his shirts.

He heard a faint rustling and moving about and he wondered what she was up to. Well, he would find out sooner or later. Sooner, he hoped, because it would take almost no effort at all for him to be ready for her.

She finally found one of his large shirts, and she held it to her face and breathed deeply before pulling off her own shirt. She slipped it on, then slid her jeans off of her hips.

He drank half the wine in his glass and refilled it. It didn't take long, with an empty stomach, for the alcohol to hit his system. He took another drink.

She finally sat down on the bed, frowning slightly. "You do understand the concept of hide and seek, don't you, Goren? I mean, it's not that hard of a game..."

He laughed. "I'm hungry, sweetheart, and I have to feed this body before I try to fill up on yours."

She rolled her eyes and sank back against the pillows. "Fine. I guess I'll just have to find some other way to... amuse myself..."

He didn't expect the reaction of his body to that threat, and he called her bluff. "Go for it, baby."

She growled and shifted against the pillows, annoyed. Damn him... He knew she wanted him, and he was going to make her wait.

He tried the steak. "The meat is just the way you like it," he taunted. "Have you started yet?"

"Maybe," she shot back.

He wasn't worried about her irritation. He could soothe that over in the span of a few heartbeats with some well-targeted expert caressing. "I doubt that," he teased. "There's too much of the wrong heat in your voice...not enough...calm."

She sighed deeply. "Then get your ass in here and do something about it."

"I told you. I'm hungry, and I have to feed this body first. And I've got some wine here...and a head start on it."

Rolling her eyes, she stood up, purposefully unbuttoning several of the buttons on the shirt. Then she headed into the living room.

He was filling his glass again when she finally emerged into the living room. He was surprised. "You changed," he observed, struggling mightily to suppress the reaction he had to the soft, pale skin revealed by the deep plunge of the open shirt she wore.

She nodded. "You noticed."

"It's what I do."

Rolling her eyes, she sat down in the empty chair. "Not this weekend," she reminded him. "We're not detectives now. We're just.. us."

"But I can't help the way I am."

She cut a piece of the steak and chewed it thoughtfully, purposefully sighing with exaggerated pleasure.

He smiled. It was going to be a long, difficult meal.

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_Carolyn felt her heart pounding wildly against her ribs as she ran. Her breaths came out in little puffs in front of her, and her entire body ached. But she couldn't stop. She had to get out..._

Nurse Calloway frowned when she noticed a spike in the heart monitor of one of her patients, and she stood up and walked over to the room. Stepping inside, she frowned. "Miss Barek?"

She saw the dark haired woman thrashing on the bed, and she frowned at the heart monitor. Reaching out, she gently touched Carolyn's shoulder. "Miss Barek?"

A scream erupted from Carolyn's throat, but her eyes didn't open.

_Cummings appeared in front of her, his mouth turned up in a cruel sneer and his eyes colder than ice. She turned and tried to escape, but he appeared in front of her again, his hands reaching out to grab her shoulders..._

Calloway frowned deeply when she couldn't seem to wake her patient. She walked back out of the room to find help.

Mike walked down the hall and entered Carolyn's room, relieved to see her sleeping. She twisted restlessly and he wondered if she was having a nightmare, but he was reluctant to wake her. The last time he woke someone from a nightmare, he'd damn near had his jaw broken. Of course, Carolyn was nowhere near as powerful as Goren was, but he had no desire to suffer through another broken nose.

_She fought against the hands, shaking her head_. "No! Get away from me! Don't touch me!"

He sat up straighter. _Aw, hell_...What was a little broken nose...some blood maybe, and blinding pain..."Hey, Barek..." He shook her shoulder, ready to duck. "Wake up."

His hand closed tightly around her forearm. "Get the hell off of me!"

Mike ducked backwards as her fist swung in front of his face. "Come on, sweetheart. You're having a nightmare. Wake up."

Her eyes finally flew open, and she stared in confusion at the dark room. She rested a hand on her heaving chest as she struggled to catch her breath. She was in the hospital, safe and sound. _I'm safe...I'm safe_...she repeated several times mentally.

"Hello?" Mike said tentatively.

She blinked, startled by the familiar voice. "Mike? What are you doing here...?"

"Ducking."

"Wh-what?"

"I was ducking. I hate waking people up from nightmares. Remember when Goren almost broke my jaw?"

"Y-yeah..." She scanned the room with fearful eyes, then pulled her blanket tighter over herself.

"Don't worry. We're the only ones here. The nurse is talking on the phone and I can't find Goren anywhere."

She was still tense, but she nodded. "What time is it?"

"Eight-thirty."

She could feel her heart beat slowly returning to normal, and she managed to take a deep breath. "I hate that," she whispered, wiping the beads of sweat off of her forehead.

"Hate what?"

"These... nightmares..." She took another breath.

"About...your attack?"

She reluctantly forced out the word. "Y-Yes..."

His mouth set into a grim line. "You know...you really ought to see somebody...Olivet, maybe. She can help you."

She finally met his eyes. In her dream, it had worked. It had taken a long time, but it had helped. She gave a small nod.

"I'll call her Monday morning for you."

"Okay..."

"Let me talk to the nurse and see if she can't get you something to help you sleep."

Her hand shot out. "No."

"Don't be stubborn, dammit."

"I'm not. I don't want drugs or sedatives. Please..."

He waved a hand in the air, frustrated. "Dammit...why won't you take help?"

She shook her head. "Mike, it won't be good for the baby. And...and... I can't wake up like that..."

"What baby? Why are you suddenly so hung up on what ifs? And what do you mean--wake up how?"

"She's not!" she suddenly snapped. Her head dropped, along with her voice. "If that stuff's... in my system... I can't wake up on my own..."

"That's the point of it. You'll get some sleep. And they have stuff that's compatible with pregnancy, even if you're not pregnant."

"You don't understand, Logan!" She groaned softly and buried her face in her hands to hide her tears. When she could finally force her voice to work, she whispered, "I hate the way that stuff makes me feel... and it only makes the nightmares worse..."

"They've got stuff that stops the dreams. Ask Goren...oh, that's right...you guys aren't talking. But he told me they've given him shit that takes the dreams away when you really need the sleep. You are human, aren't you?"

"Of course I am." She finally laid down on her side and curled up, tucking her hand under her head. She could see him in the dim light, but she looked away. "I don't like... I don't want to... be afraid of this. I hate it so much."

"You're driving me nuts, Barek. These people are trying to help you and you're fighting them every step of the way. What's with that? Why do you resent the world all of a sudden?"

"I am letting them help me! I'm sorry if I just don't want to be drugged. If that makes me resentful of the world, then I guess I am."

"You wouldn't let them take blood, you fought them on the rape kit, you've been snapping at me, you friggin' asked me to call Goren and then drove him off...no, you're not resentful. Not at all."

"Would you rather I left, Logan?" she growled, tears filling her eyes. "Would that make you feel any better? You wouldn't have to worry about your crazy partner. You could get on with your damn life. You and Bobby both."

He frowned. "You know what? I don't deserve this. You gonna shut me out just like you did him? You're not crazy, but right now you swing from reasonable to raging bitch in no time flat. Talk to Olivet, get your head on straight, and quit blaming the men in your life for everything that's gone wrong."

He walked over to the window, crossed his arms and glared out at the city beyond.

She stared at him, silently cursing herself. She was trying to understand everything that was happening, and right now, Mike wasn't helping. The nightmares didn't help either, and the fact that the line between what she thought had happened, and what she thought might be happening right now, was constantly being blurred. Her entire body ached to reach out and touch him, but she knew that was the last thing he would want. And right now, she couldn't handle that.

She scrubbed furiously at her eyes, then buried her face in her pillow. Her head ached dully, but she ignored it.

Nurse Calloway walked back into the room, a needle in hand. She was surprised to see a dark haired man standing at the window, and she eyed him warily. "How do you feel, Miss Barek?"

Carolyn slowly moved her head away from the pillow. "I'm fine," she answered quietly. "Tired, but okay."

Calloway noticed her bloodshot eyes, and she chewed her bottom lip. "Would you like something to help you sleep?"

"Yes, she would," Mike called from the window.

"I don't want anything... that could hurt my baby... if I'm pregnant," she answered wearily.

Calloway nodded in understanding. "I have just the thing. I'll be right back." She stepped back out of the room.

She walked back into the room a few minutes later, the needle in her hand.

Carolyn watched her warily, uncertain and lost.

She gave her a soft, reassuring smile, then stepped up to the bed. "This will take hold in a few minutes, and you'll be able to sleep for the rest of the night."

Carolyn glanced at Mike, then slowly held out her arm. She flinched as the needle went in, and after a few seconds, she could feel the effects creeping in on her mind.

Calloway carefully removed the needle, then placed a cotton ball over the tiny hole and taped it in place. "There you go." She smiled again at Carolyn, then walked out of the room.

"Was that so bad?" Mike asked from where he stood at the window.

She frowned, hating the effect the sedative was having on her.

"Go to sleep, Barek. I'm gonna go hang out and I'll see you tomorrow."

Her eyes fluttered shut against her will. No, you won't, she thought, sinking back against the pillows.

He sighed, leaning over to kiss her forehead. "I'm surrounded by difficult people who think too damn much. But I sure wouldn't trade in either of you. Good night, sweetheart."

She felt his lips against her forehead, and she sighed softly as sleep finally claimed her.

He left the room and went to find Goren.

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Alex grinned as she felt the warm air caress her bare arms, and she turned her head. "Come on, Goren. You promised!" she called, reaching the edge of the lake.

He wasn't far behind her.

The towel was wrapped loosely around her, and as the water lapped at her feet, she let the towel drop to the ground.

He stared at him as she waded into the water. "Look at you," he murmured under his breath.

She turned and grinned at her. "Come on, baby. You're not getting a free show," she said teasingly.

With a smile, he chased her into the water.

She dunked her head under the water, shivering as she came back up and ran her hands over her damp hair.

He came up behind her and wrapped his arms around her, kissing her neck. "What did I ever do to deserve you?"

She snuggled into him. "I think the question really is, what did I do to deserve you?"

"Not even. I'm no prize catch, believe me. I'm lucky you put up with me."

"You need to give yourself more credit," she insisted, wrapping her arms around his neck.

"I'm just being realistic. But I'll tell you one thing..."

"What's that?" She slowly turned around in his arms to face him.

"You will never doubt that I love you."

Her mouth turned up in a warm smile. "I do love you."

He kissed her softly. "I love you, too."

She pressed herself closer to him, gently drawing him into the deeper water.

He needed no persuasion. He would follow her anywhere.

The bottom of the lake suddenly disappeared from beneath her feet, and she grasped his shoulders and held onto him, laughing quietly.

He smiled, holding her hips as she wrapped her legs around his waist. He studied her face from under heavy lids and caressed her skin beneath the water's surface.

She started a little and arched into him, her head falling back as she tightened her grip on his shoulders.

Encouraged, his explorations became bolder, and he kissed the hollow of her neck, then nipped and sucked his way from shoulder to shoulder.

Her nails dug into his skin, and her entire body trembled as his mouth moved over her skin. She rested one hand on his back, pulling him closer and urging him to continue.

He happily obliged, and the more she reacted the more he gave her.

The water lapped quietly around them, and she closed her eyes and held him tightly as she slowly eased herself down.

When her legs tightened around his waist, he softly bit the sensitive area where her neck met her shoulder, and he groaned.

She smirked and kissed his forehead, pressing herself tighter against him. He nipped at her neck, making her gasp and bury her face in his neck.

"Keep it up," he whispered against her skin.

"I am." She slowly lowered herself down again, smiling when he gasped.

"Oh...yeah..." His hands tightened on her hips and he nipped and sucked a little harder.

She found his lips with hers and pushed her tongue past his open lips, claiming his mouth as she sank down again, pushing them both closer to the edge.

He groaned, urging her to move faster as his breath began to come in shorter gasps.

The intensity of her release took her by surprise, and she moved against him faster, pushing him to his release. "Let go," she whispered, gently biting down on his neck.

His body shuddered and he groaned under the power of his release, and his knees wobbled. "Oh, baby..."

She smiled and kissed him again, her own body trembling slightly.

He kissed her. "Are you sure you can put up with me over the long haul?"

"Of course I can."

He sighed. "I'm hungry again."

She rolled her eyes, then slowly pulled away from him and relaxed her entire body so that she was floating on the surface of the water.

He tickled her skin. "I never said I wanted food," he smiled.

She shrieked and pulled away, disappearing beneath the water's surface. When she broke the surface again, she gasped and sputtered, glaring at him.

He laughed. "Gotcha."

She poked him. "Ass."

He gave her a wink and swam away from her.

"Hey!" She quickly swam after him, taking long strokes to catch up.

He was a powerful swimmer, but he put no effort into the swim, allowing her to quickly catch him.

She caught up with him, using the advantage of surprise to grab his shoulders and dunk him. Then she swam away quickly, laughing.

He caught her quickly, tickling her and enjoying her attempts to squirm away from him.

She finally squirmed away from him, swimming quickly to the dock. When she reached it, she easily lifted herself onto the warm wood and stretched out, enjoying the warm sun.

He lifted himself out of the water and stretched out beside her. Turning toward her, he reached out and caressed her chest, running his fingers over her moist skin, and then leaning over to chase the rivulets of water with his tongue.

She groaned softly and buried her fingers in his thick hair. "Bobby..."

"Hmm...?"

"I..." She licked her lips, fighting to keep her train of thought. "I don't want splinters..."

He didn't stop, and he didn't reply.

When he ran his hand over her thigh, she shivered. "Come on, baby. Let's go back to the cabin. Please...?"

He sighed softly, surrendering to her request. "All right..."

He retrieved her towel for her, wrapping his own towel around her waist.

She drew him into a hug, then slid her hand into his. Tugging on it, she headed in the direction of the cabin. "That fireplace is going to feel amazing."

"So will you."

A blush crept over her cheeks, but she said nothing until they reached the cabin.

When they got inside, she went over to the fireplace and crouched down, lighting a fire. As the warmth swept over her, she sat down comfortably, then stretched out on the floor like a cat.

He stretched out beside her and pulled her against him. "I can't get enough of you, you know that?"

Her mouth quirked into a grin. "I'm beginning to see that."

"Complaining?"

She rested her hand on the back of his neck and pulled his head down to hers. "Are you?"

"Not even." He lost himself in a deep kiss.

She turned in his arms and snuggled against his chest, sighing contently.

He was happy to hold her, gently caressing her bare skin. Reaching toward the couch, he grabbed a pillow and tucked it under his head. He pulled her back to rest against him, and he closed his eyes.

She watched his eyes close, and she reached out, running her thumb along his jaw. She loved him so much... Pressing her lips softly to his, she breathed, "Love you, baby." Then she curled into him and closed her own eyes.

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"I don't want to go back to work," Alex complained later the next night. They were standing in front of his apartment, and she was reluctant to walk in and rejoin the 'real' world.

"Hey, I have no problem doubling Logan's workload."

"What do you mean, double? Carolyn does all of the work anyway."

At the mention of Carolyn's name, his demeanor changed. He unlocked the door and pushed it open, following her into the apartment.

She noticed the sudden change, and she sighed, setting the bag down. "Come here, Bobby," she murmured, holding her arms out to him. He needed comfort, and she was more than willing to give it to him.

He stepped into her arms, hugging her and burying his face in the crook of her neck, which he gently kissed.

She slipped her arms around him and pulled him close, gently rubbing his back. "It's okay..."

"It's not, really...but thanks for trying to make it okay."

She sighed deeply, her hand caressing the small of his back. "You... you should talk to her," she finally said.

"I've tried that. Forget it, Alex. I'm fine."

"No, you're not fine. And you're not going to be fine until you do." Her hand moved up to gently cup the back of his neck.

He gave her a kiss. "It hurts more when I try to talk to her. Just let it go, baby."

She tightened her arms around him, absently stroking the back of his neck. "Bobby..." She knew that he was hurting, and that until he talked with Carolyn, the pain wouldn't stop. He always felt things more deeply than any other person she knew, and she was certain that this was eating him alive inside.

"I said let it go. Please." He kissed her and went into the kitchen to grab a beer.

She chewed on her lower lip. "Okay." She picked up her bag and found her keys. "I'm going home. I'll see you tomorrow, okay?"

"Are you sure you don't want to stay?"

_I don't want to see you in pain_...She nodded and slung the bag over her shoulder. "I'll call you when I get there."

He nodded, disappointed. "Be careful. I love you."

She smiled. "I love you, too."

He walked over to the phone and listened to the five messages on his machine, each one sounding more worried than the last. With a grin, he dialed Logan's number.  
An hour later, Logan was at his door. "Hey, thanks for the heads up. I had no idea where you were."

Goren came out of the kitchen and tossed him a beer. He had a decent head start on him. "I don't answer to you."

"Yeah, yeah, I know. You don't answer to anyone. So where'd you go?"

"Up to the cabin."

"Good for you. How was the fishing?"

"Uh, I didn't do any fishing."

Mike took a swig and looked puzzled. "Then why go up there? What'd you do?"

Bobby shrugged. "Grilled a couple of steaks, did some swimming..."

Mike laughed. "Okay, who is she?"

"Who is who?"

"I know you. Who'd you take up to the lake?"

"It was just Alex and me."

Mike raised an eyebrow. "Really? You took her away for the weekend? Nice."

"It was something we both needed."

"Good for you."

Bobby looked down at his beer bottle. "H-How's Carolyn feeling?"

"Hell if I know. She keeps giving the doctors a hard time and going on about being pregnant. I finally got her to take a sedative tonight so she could sleep without being plagued by nightmares. She threatens to take off every time she thinks I'm mad at her, and I'm getting to the point of telling her to go."

"Don't be an ass. She's very stubborn and she hates needing anyone or anything. But she needs you and that's why she pushes you away."

"Oh? And why does she push you away?"

Bobby shrugged. "I would say because I represent a failure, but you can't fail at something you never felt to start with."

Mike went into the kitchen, returning with a ham sandwich and two beers. "You think she didn't love you?"

He took a beer with a nod. "I'm pretty sure of it."

"She's hard to read. And what about you, buddy? Did you love her?"

"I still do. But that doesn't matter. She moved on, and so did I. I think she would have been happier if she'd just sought you out to begin with. She has a hard time getting in touch with her emotions."

"So I've noticed. How did you handle her?"

Bobby chewed his lower lip. "You need to find your own way with her, Mike. And apparently, I did something wrong or she wouldn't have cut me out entirely."

"Come on, man. You don't think she really means that, do you?"

Bobby finished his beer. He had a good buzz going, but if his mood turned sour, he would have a rough night. "Yeah. I think she did. See if there's a game on or something. I don't feel like talking."

Mike sighed. "Yeah, sure." He turned on the television. "You still got those adult channels?"

"They're still there. Uh, try cleaning up after yourself next time, will you? Mustard stains the counters."

"Sorry." He found the channel he wanted and settled back into the couch. "Alex went home, right?"

"She was tired, and she had to feed her bird."

"Sit down, then, and let's see how many Bambis we can find tonight."

Bobby laughed. "You're an idiot."

"I know."

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Alex paused at Bobby's door. The rain had come out of nowhere, and she knew that she looked like a drowned rat. And she didn't care. She had gone home and tried to sleep, but it had taken two hours for her to realize that her bed was too empty, and she wasn't going to be able to sleep like that. Her hand raised, and it took several minutes for her to knock.

Bobby got up from the couch and went to the door. Pulling it open, he stared for a moment at her and blinked. "Alex?"

In the apartment, Mike let out a soft curse and scrambled for the remote. Bobby looked over his shoulder and frowned.

"Yeah..." She paused before dropping her bag and wrapping her arms around him.

He stumbled a little as he caught her, then dipped his head down and kissed her.

She eagerly returned the kiss, then finally said, "I...couldn't sleep."

"Come on in," he said. "If you don't mind Logan hanging around. He, uh, he's not going home tonight."

"Baby, as long as he's not in the bed, I don't give a damn."

He laughed and stepped aside so she could enter the apartment.

She walked in, dropping her bag and shedding her coat before walking over to the couch. She didn't notice Bobby's horrified look as she picked up the remote and turned the T.V. on.

Bobby shot an annoyed look at Logan, who shrugged.

As the screen cleared, her jaw dropped slightly. "Oh, my God!"

"What?" Bobby asked innocently.

"What the hell is that?"

"Um...that's a woman, Alex."

"You sick... Didn't you get enough at the cabin?"

"Aw, come on...don't get mad..."

She stood up, frustrated. "I'm not. I'm going back home. You two are obviously... very busy."

"Aw, Alex...please..."

She shook her head, tiny drops of water hitting the area around her. "No, Bobby. That's just..." She groaned and shook her head again.

"Uh...normal?"

"And so is this." She glared at him again, then picked up her coat.

"Alex..." He approached her, gently grasping her arm. "Please...don't go..."

"Yeah, Alex," Mike said with a lopsided grin. "Don't be too hard on him. I was the one who put it on. He just...came along for the ride."

She glared at him. "I should have known..."

"He didn't do anything wrong, ya know. Enough beer and it really doesn't matter so much...everything's friggin' funny."

She reached over and hit his shoulder, then turned to Bobby again. "How drunk are you?"

"Uh..."

She groaned. "Damn it..."

"What? You went home!"

Shaking her head, she said, "Never mind. Do you...want me to stay?"

"Of course I do."

"Okay. No more beer." She pointed a finger at Mike. "And you stay the hell out of the bedroom."

"Where's your sense of adventure, sweetheart?"

"Not there, you dumb ass."

He laughed and pointed to the screen. "It looks like fun."

Absently, Bobby's eyes strayed to the screen and he grinned.

She hit Mike, then glared at her partner. "I'm gone."

"What?"

"You're drunk." She had to force herself not to smile at the crooked smile on his face. She didn't want to leave, but she didn't like to joke about that kind of thing. Turning off the T.V., she said, "I'm tired, and I couldn't sleep at my place." She took a step toward the bedroom. "I'm going to lay down, okay?"

He looked relieved. "Sure, go ahead. I'll be in shortly."

She nodded and turned, heading into his bedroom to change.

Mike laughed and switched the television back on. He got up as went into the kitchen, returning with a pair of bottles. He pressed one into Bobby's hand. "She's a pistol."

Bobby took the beer and flopped down beside Mike. "You have no idea. And thanks for making things worse, by the way."

"Any time."

He looked back at the television. "Whoa...look at that, will ya? Wow..."

Bobby grinned and said, "You're easily amused, you know that?"

"And proud of it, pal...oh, man..."

Alex went through Bobby's closet, easily finding one of his shirts, and she changed into it. Then she climbed into his bed and settled against the pillows, sighing contently.

TBC...

A/N: In the next chapter, Carolyn has a big announcement to make to the boys. And of course, we don't own the Tim McGraw song, My Best Friend. Though it is an amazing BobbyAlex song. We hope ya'll enjoyed this chapter, and please remember to review!


	29. The Thunder Rolls

We're back! And lord have mercy, this story is out of control! I mean, at over 1600 pages and over 300,000 words... For those of you who are still reading, bless you! Keep hanging on. We promise it's going to be worth it! Enjoy!

Disclaimer: Not ours!

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Carolyn wrung her hands anxiously as she stood in front of Mike's apartment. She knew for certain now, and she needed to tell him. Her hand raised, but she hesitated for several moments before she finally knocked on his door.

Mike looked into the pot on the stove. Not boiling yet. So he went to the door and pulled it open. "Carolyn? What are you doing here?"

She blinked, suddenly overwhelmed. But she shook it off and asked softly, "Can we talk?"

"Yeah, sure. Come on in. But I have plans tonight, just so you know."

She stopped at the door, tears welling in her eyes. "Oh...? M-Maybe I should go, then."

"Why? Oh...it's not a date or anything. It's just Goren. I know you don't want to see him."

Her shoulders sagged, and she shook her head. "No, it's okay. I do want to see him. I just..." She stepped inside and walked over to the kitchen, fixing herself a glass of water. "I just needed to talk to you about something."

He turned off the stove. "Okay. Talk."

She took a breath, gathering her thoughts. "I... I went to the doctor's today."

"Are you sick? You seemed okay at work."

"I'm not sick." She thought for a moment. "Well, I do get sick. But that's not the point."

"Quit being cryptic. You know I hate word games."

"Sorry. This damn morning sickness has got my nerves all out of sorts." At his strange look, she finally said, "I'm pregnant."

He stared at her, leaning back against the stove and inadvertently resting his hand against the burner. "Ow, damn..."

He yanked it away.

She immediately grabbed his hand and pulled it under the sink, then turned the cold water on. "Stand still," she growled when he tried to pull away.

He grumbled under his breath.

After a few minutes, she pulled his hand away and studied it carefully. The area was already reddened, and she picked up a towel and gently dried it.

"So you were right, huh? Um, who's the father?"

She started to answer, but paused for a moment. "I'm not sure," she answered quietly.

He raised his eyebrows. "What do you mean, you're not sure? How many guys were you sleeping with?"

She dropped his hand and gripped the sink until her knuckles turned white. "Bobby, or the son of a bitch who raped me."

He stared at her. "Oh, man..."

He pushed his hand through his hair. "What are you gonna do?"

She slowly met his eyes. "I'm keeping her." She took an unsteady breath. "And there's a chance... she could be yours."

"Mine?"

"Yes..." She took another long drink of her water, her stomach suddenly in knots.

"How do you figure that?"

_Here we go again_... "We slept together. Once. I know you don't remember, but we did."

"Where was I?"

"Drunk."

"Oh. And you let me...? What were you thinking?"

"I was thinking that I wanted you... and I thought you wanted me, too."

"When I'm drunk...oh...never mind. I know this is something you never planned on. Hell, I expected to hear this from Eames, not you."

Her shoulders slumped, and she stood up on her tiptoes and began going through his cabinets for some saltine crackers.

"So you're gonna keep the kid, even if it belongs to that Cummings scrub?"

"Yes. This is my baby, Mike. And... you know that I could never... do that."

"You do realize that if it's Goren's you're gonna be tied to him for the next lifetime." He shook his head. "I always thought he was more careful."

"I know." _Just like I know she's yours_...

"I'm sorry, sweetheart, but you're screwed seven ways from Sunday no matter how you look at it. I would say, of the three of us, I would want Bobby to be the kid's father, even if he is _persona non gratis_. He's still a good guy."

"I am not screwed, Logan!" she snapped. "This is my baby, and I don't care who the father is. I'm going to take care of her."

"Okay, okay, calm down. I never said you couldn't."

She drew in an unsteady breath, her hand gripping the counter again. "I'm going... to find out after she's born."

"That's your call."

She finally found the crackers and slowly ate one, willing her stomach to settle. "I know. And I want to know."

"Okay." He looked at the time. "Um, if you want to miss Bobby..."

She paused for a moment, then shook her head. "No... I'll have to tell him sometime..."

"Great...he'll be a blast tonight."

"Well, it's better than showing up at his door seven and a half months from now with a baby."

"I don't know about that..."

"He deserves to know. Just like you."

"Go on and sit on the couch." He opened the refrigerator. "Hope I've got enough beer in here."

Her stomach revolted, and she walked as fast as she could over to the couch.

He came into the living room and sat beside her, uncertain. He didn't know what to say but he did know if he said the wrong thing, she'd hold it against him for a very long time. She was a lot like Alex that way. So he kept silent and watched the minute hand move them inexorably closer to what he was certain was going to be an emotional disaster.

She propped her head up with her hand and stared at the clock. She didn't know exactly how she was going to tell Bobby, but she knew that she had to. If she didn't, and she just showed up one day with a baby, he would never forgive her.

When Bobby arrived, he knocked twice, then pushed the door open. "Mike, I..." He froze when he saw the two of them sitting on the couch, caught totally off guard by Carolyn's presence. She had done a hell of a job of avoiding him lately. He stood there for a moment, uncomfortable, before he finally found his voice. "You should have called and told me you changed your plans, Logan."

"He didn't know," Carolyn interrupted, folding her hands in her lap.

He stood by the door, uncertain, hands shoved in his jeans' pockets. He shifted nervously and looked at the floor. "I...I'll be going then..."

"No." Her voice was firm. "There's something I have to tell you, Bobby. And it can't wait."

His anxiety level was already high and he didn't know what to do with himself. "But I thought..." he trailed off and hung his head, frowning at the floor.

She stood up and walked over to him, hesitating a moment before she touched his arm. "No." Then she took a step back, indicating that he should join her and Mike on the couch.

He shook his head. "I'd rather stand, if it's all the same to you."

She chewed on her bottom lip. "Okay." She considered returning to the couch, but opted to sit down in Mike's recliner. Crossing her legs, she said, "I have some... news, Bobby."

He looked at her, waiting.

She slowly met his eyes. "I'm... pregnant."

He stared at her for a long moment, his eyes dark. Finally, he said, "There's only one reason for you to be telling me this," he said, his tone carefully guarded.

"I don't know who the father is."

"But he could be me."

"Yes..." Her eyes shifted to Mike. "Or Mike... or the bastard who... who attacked me."

Mike looked up at Bobby. "Some choice, huh?"

"Shut up, Logan."

He looked at Carolyn, uncertain. "How do you feel?"

"I'm keeping her, if that's what you're asking." She stood up and started pacing the room.

"It's not. That never entered my mind."

She glanced at him, then resumed her pacing. "I told you because you have a right to know."

"Thank you. And I hope that you are right."

"Right about what?"

"I know you. Given the choice, Mike is the man you would choose to be the father, and rightly so. He's...the best choice."

She shook her head. "Don't put words into my mouth, Bobby. Please."

"I'm not. I'm being realistic."

Her hands raised up in the air. "You both would make great dads. I know it."

He shook his head. "I'm not...father material. You know that. Please, don't feed me a line to spare my feelings. If Cummings turns out to be the father, and you need anything, you know where I am. But it would simplify everything if you had it your way to start with."

"I'm not feeding you a damn line, Goren. You know me better than that."

He shook his head then looked at Logan. "I...I don't feel like doing anything tonight, Mike. I'll see you at work Monday." He looked at Carolyn, but said nothing. Turning to the door, he yanked it open and left.

She stared at the door, then took off after him. In the hall, she followed him and caught his arm. "Bobby!" She pulled him around to face her.

He looked down at her, but his face was guarded. He waited.

She took a weary breath. "I'm trying here, Bobby. And I'm not going to let you take off again."

"Let me?"

"I'm not," she repeated. Her face softened. "I know that things... didn't end ideally between us. But I don't want you out of my life. I never did."

"You could have fooled me."

"I don't. Bobby, that night... at the hospital... When you took off like that, it hurt more than I could tell you. I want you in my life."

"You've had a thousand chances to show me different. If you've changed your mind because of this, that's fine. I can accept that. But give me some credit. Just...make up your mind. If you're going to shut me out again when you find out Mike's the father, then don't bother trying to bring me back in now."

"I am not going to shut you out." She closed her eyes for a brief moment, letting the words roll off of her tongue. "I... I need you, Bobby. I do."

Hesitantly, he touched her shoulder, then he drew her into a hug.

She gladly leaned into him, resting her head against his shoulder. Several quiet moments passed, until she finally said, "I'm... scared, Bobby."

"I know you are. But it'll all turn out okay. It will."

"How do you know, Bobby? Mike and I keep fighting..." She sighed and pressed her face further into his shoulder. "I just feel like I'm doing everything wrong."

"Mike's an idiot. You know that. He'll come around. You have to be patient. But in any event, you can count on me...if you need me. I never turned you away."

In the back of his mind, he wondered how Alex was going to take this turn of events, and it made his stomach feel ill.

She felt him tense, and she sighed a little. "I know whose she is."

He knew how sensitive she was about her premonitions, so all he said was, "No one else will know for sure until you have the tests done. But I know you want her to be Mike's and that's fine."

Sighing again, she slowly pulled away. "Thanks..." She rested one hand on his shoulder. "For everything."

"I wish I could do more."

She smiled a little. "You've done more than you know."

"I...I should be going now. Alex is waiting for me."

Her hand fell, and she nodded in understanding. "Yeah, I should get back in there. Mike won't take care of his hand on his own." She turned around.

"Carolyn?"

She took a deep breath and turned around again. "Yeah, Bobby?"

"For what it's worth...my feelings for you have changed...but I never stopped loving you."

Her eyes filled with tears, and she nodded. "I... never stopped loving you, either. It's just... a different kind now."

He nodded, agreeing. "But different doesn't mean it's bad."

"No, it's not. Not at all." She walked back to the door. "I'll... I'll talk to you later, okay?"

"All right. Just don't be afraid of me."

He turned and walked away, trying to figure out how to break this news to Alex without causing a fight.

She watched him leave, then slipped back into Mike's apartment. "Hey."

He was pacing the living room, trying to sort things out in his head. He saw that she was alone. "Where'd Bobby go?"

"Home. Alex is waiting for him."

"Oh...We were gonna...never mind. He'll be in enough trouble when she hears about this."

She exhaled deeply, then walked over to him, taking his hand in hers. "Looks like you'll live."

"It's just a burn. For Pete's sake, I've been shot. Of course I'll live. I just don't have to be happy about it."

She frowned, gently rubbing the inside of his wrist before she let go.

"Sorry." She walked over to the couch and sat down, curling her legs underneath herself.

"I don't know what to do here, Carolyn. Whoever did this...well, I know I didn't mean for it to happen, and I'm sure Bobby didn't either. One of us did wrong by you..."

"No!" She turned burning eyes on him. "Neither of you did wrong."

"Getting a woman pregnant is certainly not right. At best, it's careless."

"Careless?" She stood up and pointed a shaking finger in his direction. "I don't believe you, Logan. How can you be so... so... heartless?"

"What? How is that heartless? It's true!"

She motioned to her stomach. "This baby is here, Mike. Deal with it. I am. And don't ever call my child a mistake again."

"Who said mistake? I never said mistake."

She frowned deeply at him. "She wasn't exactly planned, but she isn't the result of carelessness. I thought that she was the result of two people who actually cared about each other." Her heart was pounding, and she quickly walked past him and into the kitchen for another glass of water.

He stared after her. "You meant to get pregnant?"

Her eyebrows raised. "No, I didn't. But I'm not running away from this."

"Who's running? I'm not. Is Goren?"

"No." She took another drink of water.

"So what are you flipping out on me for? Hormones?"

"No. I'm 'flipping out' because you think that me being pregnant is a bad thing."

"And that surprises you?"

"It fucking hurts me, Logan!"

"Aw, geez, Barek...You'd rather I lie to you and spare your feelings? I can do that. I'm pretty damn good at it, too."

The glass slipped from her hand and into the sink, and she walked past him, the door looking more inviting than it ever did. She dropped her chin to her chest and forced deep breaths into her chest.

He felt bad for upsetting her but not for being honest. His voice was soft when he said, "I don't know what you want."

She wiped furiously at her eyes. "I guess... I wanted you... to be kind of happy about this." A bitter laugh escaped her. "I should have known better."

"Yeah, you should have. Think about it for a minute. You come over out of the blue and tell me you're pregnant, maybe with my kid after a drunken tumble I don't friggin' remember. And you're surprised I'm not doing back flips?"

"And you don't think that I'm not surprised? I wasn't exactly planning this pregnancy, but I'm dealing with it. I'm dealing with the morning sickness, the mood swings, and the fact that I have a baby inside of me!" She finally looked at him. "If I had left and come back with the baby, you would have been pissed as hell! But now I'm here and telling you, and you're still pissed! How is that right?"

"I am not pissed! I don't understand how you can think I'd be happy about the possibility I was careless enough to get someone pregnant unintentionally. Of course, now I'm getting pissed, but that has nothing to do with you being pregnant. Why are you trying to create more problems? Quit putting words in my mouth and thoughts in my head. If you can tell me you've had less than fifteen minutes to adjust to this, I'll kiss your damn feet."

"I've been dealing with this for the last week! Maybe you didn't notice the trips to the bathroom, or the fact that I haven't had coffee since I came back to work! And I am not putting damn words in your mouth!" Her shoulders slumped, and she sat down on the couch heavily, burying her head in her hands.

"Okay, then. You've been dealing with this for a week! I'm sorry you're sick. Forgive me for not equating your bathroom visits with a pregnancy. Why do you think I can read your mind all of a sudden?"

She suddenly felt queasy, and she bit her lip, then stood up. "You're right. You never could. So I'm going to say this now. I'm pregnant, and yes, there's a chance she could be yours. She is not a damn mistake, or a product of carelessness. I will take care of her, with or without your help. If you want to be there for us, then I'll more than welcome you. And if you don't, fine." She walked over to the door. "I'm going home right now to take care of this nausea and get some sleep, because I'm exhausted and honestly, I can't deal with you right now without crying. I'll see you at work tomorrow."

"Barek...you're not being fair. You know me better than that. Some days I wouldn't notice if my pants were on fire. Cut me some slack. I need more than five minutes to come to terms with something like this. You expect too much from me."

"No, I don't expect anything from you." She gripped the doorknob tightly in her hand, but didn't turn it.

"Then that's not fair either, because you should if you really think there's a chance I am responsible for this."

"If you are her father, there's not a damn chance in the world I can make you do anything you don't want to. Hell, I couldn't even if I weren't pregnant. I never have."

"Do you really think I'm that much of a bastard that I would walk away from you, whether the kid is mine or not? Do you think for one second that I don't care about you? I mean...if that's what you're thinking...that hurts, Barek."

She exhaled quietly. "And you don't think that I'm hurting, Logan? I mean..." Her back came to rest against the wall, and her knees nearly buckled. "I am terrified, but I'm here. I'm being honest with you. Do you think that if I didn't care about you, I would be doing all of this?"

"But why do you think so little of me to think I'd turn you away?"

"I don't." She finally raised her head and pushed her thick hair away, reluctantly meeting his eyes. "And... I'm... sorry if I made you think that. I'm sorry."

He held her gaze for a moment. "I'm far from perfect, Carolyn. But I always try to do the right thing. And I care about you more than I ever realized I did."

She stared at him for several long moments, and didn't realize what had happened until she was in his arms, trembling against him. "I know you try. And I know you care about me. I care about you, too."

He wrapped his arms around her and kissed her head. "It'll be all right."

Her head came to rest against his shoulder. "I hope you're right," she mumbled, breathing deeply.

"Trust me."

"I do."

"Then we'll be okay."

Her arms went around his waist, and she closed her eyes. "Okay."

She needed him to hold her, and he wasn't inclined to open his mouth. That just got him into trouble. So he held her.

After a few minutes, she hesitantly pulled him over to the couch, then settled back in his arms again. She didn't ever want to leave, and she hoped that she would never have to.

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Bobby left Mike's building and his head was spinning. God, how could this have happened? And how was Alex going to react to it? He was afraid to go home, and so he wandered, lost in thought.

It was late when he got home. He let himself into the apartment and didn't bother turning the lights on. He went into the kitchen, grabbed a beer from the refrigerator and sat down on the couch, his mind still racing.

Alex heard him come into the apartment, and she sighed before walking into the living room. "Hey. Where have you been?" she asked, sitting down beside him and curling into his side.

He put his arm around her and kissed her head. "S-Something came up."

"What's that?" She tucked her legs under herself and snuggled closer to him.

He bit his lip, then took a drink, steeling himself for what he knew would not be a good reaction. "Um, Carolyn...was at Mike's when I got there."

"Oh?" She looked up at him, concerned. "What happened?"

"Sh-she's pregnant, Alex."

"Pregnant...? Oh, God. How is she handling it?"

"Not so well...But...well..."

"Well what?"

He drew in a deep breath. "I...uh...there's a chance I might be her baby's father."

She drew back away from him, her dark eyes searching his frantically. "What?"

He averted his eyes and looked at the floor. "I...Her baby could be mine."

Pulling out of his embrace completely, she slid over to the opposite side of the couch, her mind whirring. Carolyn, and Bobby? A baby?

He let her retreat, sinking further into his own misery. How could he have been so damn careless? But...he didn't remember... unless...once or twice things got out of hand and...oh, God...

When she finally found her voice, she whispered, "What... what are you going to do?"

"She'll have a paternity test after the birth. If the baby's mine... I'll be a father. If the baby...is a result of the rape...I'll...help her. She'll need that."

She nodded, numb. "Yeah, okay. That's... that's good..."

"No. It's not good. Alex, there are so many reasons I shouldn't father a child. How could I have let this happen?"

She chewed on her lower lip. "I... don't know."

"I-I'm sorry, Alex."

She brought her knee up to her chest and stared at the wall, uncertain. "I... I think I should... go back to bed..."

He nodded, but he didn't say anything. She was hurt, and that hurt him. There was nothing he could do to fix it, ether.

She slid off of the couch, pausing for a moment to kiss the top of his head. "I still love you," she whispered.

He watched her walk down the hall, not reassured. Looking at the beer in his hand, he drained it of its contents, then threw it across the room, where it shattered.

She heard the shattering glass, and she buried her face in her pillow, letting her tears finally escape.

When she couldn't fall asleep alone in the bed, she finally climbed out and padded silently into the bedroom. In the dim light, she could see her partner's form, and she sighed before crossing the floor. "Bobby..." She sat down on the opposite end of the couch, her elbows resting on her legs.

He picked up the bottle from the table, poured some into the glass beside it, ignoring the liquid that missed the glass, and then he offered it to her.

She stared at it for a minute, then took it and took the bottle from him, walking into the kitchen. With a frown, she drained them into the sink.

He leaned back on the couch and stared at the ceiling. He hated his life when it began to slip beyond his control and spiral toward the bottom of the dark pit that he constantly skirted. He had no idea what he could do to make it better, so he tried to run away from it, to hide behind the thin veil of an alcoholic haze. At least then, it didn't seem quite as bad as it was.

When she was finished, she dropped the bottle into the garbage, satisfied when she heard it shatter. Then she returned to the couch, sitting at an angle so she could face him. "Bobby..."

He shifted his eyes toward her.

She reached out and gently cupped his cheek in her hand. "You know I love you, right?"

He nodded.

"Good. Then... believe me when I say... I'm not mad."

"I know."

She dared to lean forward and rest her forehead against his. "You're not going to remember any of this tomorrow... are you?"

"Not likely."

She sighed and gently pulled him against her, then kissed his head.

"I'm sorry," he muttered into her shirt.

"I know." She rubbed his shoulder slowly. "We'll get through this."

"I'm so sorry," he repeated.

She nodded. "I know." Moving carefully, she settled back against the arm of the couch, drawing him along with her. "I know you are."

He snuggled into her, holding her tightly. His shoulder shuddered and he said, "I hurt you..."

She rubbed his back. "Nothing I can't handle."

Would she say the same thing when she decided she wanted to have a baby of her own? That was his biggest concern. How could he in good conscience willingly father a child? But how could he tell her no? He buried his face deeper into her shirt.

Her hand moved from his back to his hair, and she gently caressed his thick curls. "Shh..." She pressed a kiss to his forehead. "I love you."

"I can't...be a father..."

She froze, but shook her head. "We'll talk about it later, Bobby."

He shook his head miserably. "I...can't..."

She pulled him closer, then reached behind them and pulled the afghan off of the back of the couch. "We'll talk about it later," she repeated firmly, pulling the blanket over him.

"Sh-she wants...Mike to be his father, anyway...and I don't...I don't blame her."

She exhaled deeply, rubbing his neck. "Bobby..."

His eyes were half-closed. "She's...better...off..."

"Shh... Go to sleep." She pressed her lips to his forehead. "You're going to have one hell of a hangover in the morning."

He wasn't paying attention, but her gentle caressing was relaxing him. "I...really messed up..."

She didn't agree, but she didn't argue with him. "We'll have plenty of time to talk about this tomorrow."

"I'm...sorry..."

"So am I," she whispered, running her fingers through his hair.

He didn't say any more, drifting off into a heavy sleep.

Once he was sleeping, she shifted slightly, moving them both into a more comfortable position. His breath caressed her skin, and she shuddered. A baby... Bobby and Carolyn might be having a baby together... The thought boggled her mind. But as she laid there, holding him, she knew that nothing could ever change how she felt about him. And as the sun rose and sunlight spilled into the room, she knew that baby or not, she would be there.

He woke at mid-morning, feeling like he'd been dragged through mud by a speeding car. He was alone on the couch, and he got up and stumbled into the bathroom.

Alex started a little at the door closing, and she looked over in the direction of the bathroom blearily. But she didn't move from her spot on the bed.

He felt no better when he was through in the bathroom, and he went into the kitchen, searching for the bottle from last night. If Alex put it away, she did a good job. He went down the hall and stuck his head in the bedroom door, looking to see if she was awake.

Grumbling slightly at the sun and light, she buried her face in the pillow again and sighed.

He crossed to the bed, gently fingering her hair. "Are you awake?"

She shuddered. "I don't know..."

He sighed, wondering what he could possibly have said last night and dreading finding out. He withdrew his hand, deciding to leave her alone. He'd just deal with the hangover. He probably deserved it anyway. He left the room silently and returned to the kitchen, starting a pot of coffee.

She tossed and turned in the bed, suddenly unable to sleep. Groaning miserably, she climbed out of bed and stumbled into the kitchen, cursing everything under the sun.

He turned from the coffee pot when he heard her come into the room. Taking one look at her face, he felt a knot form in the pit of his stomach. Silently, he poured a cup of coffee for her, handing it to her as he pushed the sugar bowl along the counter in her direction. Then he took his own coffee and went into the living room. It was worse than he thought, and he wished he hadn't come home last night.

She stared at him, then poured her desired amount of sugar into the cup before following him into the living room. "How's the hangover?"

"The hangover's fine. I feel like shit."

She hesitated before sitting down beside him. "You should. You damn near emptied that bottle."

"Uh, where'd you put what was left?"

"I dumped it out after you tried to give me some."

"Oh. I guess I don't blame you." He shifted uncomfortably. "Um...what stupid shit did I say?"

She took a long drink of the coffee. "Not a lot. You passed out on me."

"That is probably a good thing."

She paused before closing the distance between them and turning her head to watch him. "I probably shouldn't have left you alone like that."

"I don't blame you. I'm surprised you didn't leave the apartment."

"I wasn't going to leave you completely alone."

"Thank you. It's more than I deserve."

She slid her arm around his shoulders. "You don't need to thank me. I love you."

"I know you do. And I love you." He was quiet for a long minute. "I really messed up, Alex. Sh-she doesn't want me to be her baby's father. Not at all."

She sighed, rubbing his arm soothingly. "You didn't mess up, Bobby."

"Alex, I can't father a baby. I was always so careful. But once in a while, I...I play Russian roulette. This time, I may have been bit on the ass."

She frowned. "You know, we haven't exactly been careful. Are you... are you going to be this scared if... if I am...?"

His eyes widened in horror. "You..." He closed his eyes. "Oh, my God..."

She pulled away from him, her stomach churning miserably.

He buried his head in his arms. This was a nightmare. "God... what have I done...?" he muttered miserably.

She couldn't stop the tears from falling at his question, and she scooted down to the end of the couch. "God, Bobby..."

He refused to look at her. "I...I am sorry, Alex."

She crossed her arms over her chest, then wiped at her eyes. "Do you... want me to go back home...?"

The question struck him like a physical blow. "If you think you should," he answered. He didn't want her to leave, but he would not force her to stay if she didn't want to. He was afraid to be alone with his thoughts, but that was not her problem. If she didn't want to be around him...he couldn't blame her for that.

She considered it for a moment, then slowly stood up and walked to the door. She could feel his eyes on her, and she gripped the knob for several seconds. But she couldn't turn it. Instead, she spun around and went back to the couch, not hesitating before she drew him into her arms and held him tight.

He bit his lip and wrapped his arms around her. "I...I am so...so sorry..."

She shook her head and gently pressed his head into the crook of her neck. "We'll get through this," she swore, holding him as close as she possibly could. "We will."

He was quiet for a long moment. "Are you..." He couldn't bring himself to say the word.

She hesitated. "No... At least... I don't think so."

He felt guilty at the relief that spread through him. "You...scared me."

"Yeah... Well..." She exhaled deeply.

"It's enough that Carolyn's afraid she's might have a baby of mine. I really can't blame her one bit for wanting Mike to be the father. I really hope he is." He shifted where he sat. "Hell, I'd even bet the other guy would be a better candidate...physically anyway..."

She used both of her hands to push him back against the couch, then held him there. "Goren, you are nothing to be ashamed of," she growled. "You are a good man, and I would be so proud to have your children."

"Alex, the horror I carry in my genes...it's not worth the risk of passing it on to a baby."

"And what if I want a baby? Do I not have a say in this? I'm not getting any younger, Bobby. You know that."

He stared at her, and the next words he uttered were the most difficult he'd ever forced out. "I'm sorry, Alex."

A tear fell from her eye, and she slowly pulled away. "I... I am too, Bobby."

He looked away, not even trying to stop the tear that rolled down his cheek. He was going to lose her, but this was something he refused to compromise on.

She reached out and brushed the tear off of his cheek, ignoring her own. Her lower lip trembled, but she couldn't force any words to her lips. She didn't know what to say. She wanted a baby, and he didn't. How could they get past that?

He looked down at his hands, his headache worsening. "I know...you want a baby of your own. But I can't help you with that, Alex. I'm sorry."

"Bobby..." Her stomach rolled, and she lowered her eyes. This was killing her. She loved him, but she had wanted a baby of her own her entire life.

He shook his head. "Unless you are willing to consider...other options...you're only other option..." He paused, unwilling to say the next words but realizing that, if he loved her, he had to say them. "...is to find someone else, who would be willing to father a child with you."

She shook her head. "Bobby... If I can't... have children with you..." She took a deep breath to dispel her tears. "Then I just... don't want any."

Her words struck him hard. She was willing to give up her heart's dearest desire...for him? He could not let her do that. Slowly, he shook his head. "No. I can't let you give that up. You...you need to leave." He got to his feet. "I...I wish it could be...different." He walked down the hall and slammed the bedroom door.

She stared at the door, suddenly overwhelmed with grief that she hadn't felt in years. But as she stared at the door, she realized that she couldn't let him push her away. He could be a stubborn bastard, but she could be just as stubborn when she needed to be. So she settled down on the couch and rested her head in her hands.

An hour later, he came out of the bedroom, stopping when he entered the living room and saw her sitting on the couch, arms folded, with that stubborn, angry look on her face. He opened his mouth to say something, but changed his mind and closed it. Lowering his eyes to the floor, he went into the kitchen.

She heard him come out of the bedroom, but she remained silent. When he was ready to talk, she would be there to listen.

He had no idea what to say, and he couldn't explain why she was still there. He got a glass of water and returned to the living room, sitting on the far opposite end of the couch. "Uh, why...why are you here?"

"Because." His laptop rested between them, and she motioned to it. She had spent the past hour researching adoption and artificial insemination, even though the second was a last resort in her mind.

He turned the computer toward him and studied the screen. Then he looked at her. "You...love me...that much?"

She nodded. "More than that."

"D-Do you understand...why I...?" He trailed off. It hurt to say the words.

She nodded again. "Yes. And you have to understand that... that I love you. And I'm not going to give up on us."

He pushed the laptop back to its original position and sighed. "Stubborn woman," he muttered.

She raised an eyebrow. "And you're the most stubborn man I have ever met in my life."

He was quiet for a moment. "If I wasn't...I would be dead by now."

She flinched at his words. She couldn't imagine not having him in her life, in any way. Slowly, she reached out and ran her hand over his arm.

He closed his eyes for a long moment, then silently moved the computer and slid closer to her. He drew her into his arms and kissed her. "I-I don't deserve you."

She snuggled into his arms and breathed deeply. "But I love you," she reminded him.

"I...I should say that I wish you didn't...but I can't lie to you."

She moved closer to him and rested her head on his shoulder. "You never have been able to."

"No. I haven't." He sighed. "I really wish I could...give you what you want most."

"I want you."

"And how long have you wanted your own baby? I watched you give up your nephew. I never forgot how difficult that was for you, and I thought...I thought that you would never be complete without a baby of your own. How-How can I take that away from you?"

She closed her eyes. "I want you, Bobby," she repeated firmly. "And if it means... raising a child that needs someone to love it... Then I'm fine with that."

He shook his head. "You'll come to resent me, someday. I...I need some air." He kissed her softly. "I'll be back."

He got up and left the apartment.

She watched him go, and when the door closed, she got up and found her shoes. Then she put them on and grabbed her keys and purse, making sure that she locked the door behind her when she left.

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Later that night, Alex fumbled with the key and let herself into the apartment, slamming the door behind herself. She had spent the day walking around the city, but was unable to get her mind off of her stubborn partner. She kicked her shoes off and sat down on the couch with a heavy sigh, then reached into her purse. With a sigh, she pulled out a picture of her holding Matthew a few hours after his birth.

Bobby was right. Her life would never be complete without her own baby. Her head fell back against the couch, and after a few minutes, she went into the kitchen for something to drink.

He had no idea how to deal with his pain. He walked for several hours, then stopped for a few drinks, but after a couple, found his melancholy deepening, so he gave up and went home. He had to talk to Alex.

He entered his apartment, surprised to find her on the couch where he'd left her. "You're still here."

She took a drink of the beer. "Yeah, I am."

He sat down in the recliner. "Alex...this isn't going to work..."

"What isn't going to work?"

"Us."

She stared at the beer in her hand. "Wh-Why...?"

"Because...I can't give you what you need. It's going to destroy us. I would rather that it not come to that...because I need you as my partner. You will never be content until you are able to have a baby, and I can't...You-you'll resent me...and I...I couldn't handle that..."

"The only way I could ever resent you... is if you do this to us."

"Trust me on this. And if Carolyn's baby turns out to be mine, it will only get worse between us."

"You would really do this..." Tears burned her eyes. "I love you, Bobby. I never... intended to fall for you... but I did. And it was the best thing that ever happened to me."

He shook his head. "No, Alex. No, it's not."

"Damn it, don't you dare tell me what I do or don't feel!" she snapped. She struggled for a moment to lower her voice again. "You told me... at the cabin... that you would make it so I never doubted how you felt about me again. And I don't. Please... don't do this."

His eyes welled up at the thought of the weekend they had spent at the cabin. He swallowed hard. The thought of fathering a child had not entered his head then. If it had...he would never have taken her there. He cursed himself for his short-sightedness. When she came to realize that having a baby of her own was more important to her than he was, and he knew on some level she had not yet reached that it was, everything was going to blow apart. It was better to take care of it now, quietly, calmly. "I'm sorry, Alex."

She stared at him, unable to stop the tears that dripped down her cheeks. How could he be doing this to her, to them? She searched his eyes, then slowly stood up and walked over to the door, her entire body trembling. As she rested her hand on the door, she said quietly, "If... if you think that this is what's best for us, that's fine. I know you're wrong. But... I can't... deal with this pain. If I walk out now, you're not going to see me again."

He didn't move. He knew this was best, even if she doubted him. "If you can't handle pain, I am the last man in the world you should be with," he said quietly.

"You have never hurt me before... until now..."

"It's inevitable."

She gripped the doorknob tightly, until her knuckles turned white. She was trying to give him every chance not to do this, not to hurt her worse than she had ever been hurt before. But if he wouldn't take them, she couldn't make him. "I love you so much, Goren. And if you can't see that..." She turned the doorknob and opened the door. He had to choose. And she wasn't going back on what she said. If he wasn't going to stop her, she wasn't coming back.

"I...I love you, too," he said softly.

She shook her head._ Not if you can hurt me like this_... She stepped out of the apartment.

"Alex?"

She hesitated for a moment at his voice, but didn't stop. Overhead, she could hear thunder, and she knew the storm outside wasn't the only one she was facing.

He closed his eyes. This was it. He'd lost her. And he'd never known a pain like this before in his life. He was never going to recover from it, either. He felt an increasing tightness in his chest as he headed for the kitchen, intending to be completely numb by the time he passed out. But the tightness grew worse, and as he got to the kitchen door, the pain began. His eyesight blurred and he collapsed.

TBC...

A/N: (hides underneath sink) Yeah, I thought we'd stir ya'll up with an evil cliffie! Mwhahaha! (InfinityStar shakes head)


	30. Queen Of Hearts

It's been insane the last little bit, but I finally found a minute to update this little monster. It's a short chapter, but if I get enough reviews, I'll update again today with a special chapter. And it's my birthday. Hey, Dick Wolf? Can I have them for my birthday? No? Lawsuit? Okay...

Disclaimer: Not ours!

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Rain soaked her by the time she reached the SUV, and she nearly screamed in frustration when she realized that she had left her keys in his apartment. She didn't really want to see him, but she needed the keys. So she turned around and headed back into the building. The hall was eerily quiet, and his door was still wide open. Frowning, she quietly slipped inside, expecting to see him still in the chair. But he wasn't there, and she moved to the couch, picking up her keys.

As she turned to leave, something caught her eye, and the keys slipped from her hand. "Bobby!" Horror filled her as she went to his side and knelt down beside him. "Bobby, can you hear me?"

He didn't move beneath her hand, and she quickly pulled her cell phone out of her pocket and dialed 911. Her hand moved over his matted hair as she gave them directions, then closed the phone and dropped it to the floor.

After pausing for a brief moment, she shifted closer to him and gently lifted his head into her lap, her hand still moving through his damp hair. "Please... be okay..." she whispered. "Don't give up..."

Ten minutes went by, then fifteen, until there was finally a loud pounding at the door. She jerked her head up and shouted, "In here!"

Two paramedics rushed into the apartment, gently forcing her out of the way as they began to work on him. "What happened?" one of them asked her.

"I... I don't know," she admitted, staying as close to her partner as she could. "He was fine when I left."

The other paramedic connected him to a heart monitor and put an oxygen cannula in place. The first paramedic connected a bag of clear fluids to the IV line. "Do you have any idea how long he's been down?"

"I called 911 as soon as I saw him... about five minutes after I walked out..." She knelt down and reached over, carefully taking his hand in hers.

"So you have no idea what happened?"

She stumbled mentally and shuddered. "A-About twenty minutes ago..." _Right after he broke my heart, and I walked out on him_...

"All right...he's stable. Let's get him out of here."

"What happened to him? Is he going to be okay?" she demanded as she followed them out of the apartment.

The first paramedic met her eyes. "I don't know, on both counts. We're taking him to NYU, if you want to meet us there."

_Oh, God_... She gripped Bobby's hand and kissed his forehead. "I'll see you in a little while," she whispered, stroking his hair. Reluctantly, she backed away from the stretcher.

When they left the apartment, they were in a hurry.

She stood in the door of his apartment, shaking. A few moments later, she walked over and picked up her keys, then opened her cell phone and dialed Mike's number. She wasn't going to be able to handle this alone. After talking to Mike, she closed the phone and shoved it into her pocket, then jogged out of the apartment and to her SUV. She had to get to the hospital. She had to be there. She had to...

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Mike charged into the emergency room at NYU, ignoring the bustling activity and searching frantically for Alex. He flashed his badge at the receptionist and was allowed back into the ER proper. He found her in the hall outside one of the treatment rooms, pacing and wringing her hands. "Alex?"

Her head shot up, and she sucked in a shaky breath. "Oh, God, Mike..."

"What the hell happened?"

"They won't tell me anything!" She felt the tears roll down her cheeks again, but she ignored them.

He pulled her into a hug. "Tell me what happened."

She buried her face in his shoulder. "He... he broke up with me... and I left. But I had to... go back for my keys, and when I got back there... he was unconscious."

Mike frowned deeply. "He what? Why the hell did he break up with you? He's nuts about you."

"Because I want a baby... and he won't give me one. I told him it d-didn't matter to me... but he still ended it..."

Mike's face darkened. "Does this have anything to do with Carolyn?"

"Yes. He wants the baby to be yours... and he thinks that I'll eventually resent him if it's his."

Mike nodded his head slowly. "I get that. I know how he is...how scary is that, that I understand Bobby Goren?"

She slowly pulled away from him and resumed pacing. "I just... want him to be okay."

"And then what? Alex, if he's not with you, he's never gonna be okay."

"You think I don't know that? I can't force him to be with me. He was the one who wanted to end it."

"I don't believe that. I mean, I'm sure he did it, but I can't believe it's something he wanted."

She leaned back against the wall, crossing her arms over her chest and pressing her fingertips to her temple. After a moment, she looked around. "Where's Carolyn?"

"I asked her to stay home. I wasn't sure you'd be up for seeing her, and I have no idea what state her relationship with him is in. I didn't want to make things worse."

She lowered her eyes to the floor, a new wave of guilt sweeping over her.

They stepped aside to allow a nurse pushing a machine on a cart to hurry into the treatment room.

Her eyes widened, and she fought an impulse to run into the room.

"You don't want Carolyn here, do you?"

Her stomach churned. "Mike, we are not in high school. She's pregnant. There's a chance that Bobby could be the father. I'm fine with that." She ran a hand through her hair.

He raised an eyebrow. "Really? Because I'm not sure I am."

"I am. I'm not okay with him not wanting me to have his children." She pushed herself off of the wall and walked past Mike. "I've got to get out of here. I c-can't..." She took a deep breath. "Call me when you know something. Please?"

His heart sank. There was definitely something bad going on here. "Sure, sweetheart. Whatever you think you have to do."

She nodded and walked away from him. There was something that she had to do, and she had to do it soon.

Mike ran a hand through his thick hair, and he wondered how he was going to tell Bobby that Alex left, again.

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She was silent as she slipped into the room, and she was slightly surprised when she saw Mike sitting in a chair by Bobby's bed. "Hey..."

"You came back."

"Of course I did." She stayed near the door. "How is he?"

"Physically or emotionally?"

"Both."

"Physically, he's okay. They said his heart's strong. They aren't sure what happened to him, so they're calling it extreme stress. They'll watch him for a day or two and send him home. He'll be on leave for two weeks to recover."

She nodded and stepped closer to the bed, a weary sigh escaping her lips.

"Now emotionally...he's kind of fucked up."

Her head shot up. "Has he been awake yet?"

"Oh, yeah...and they had to sedate him."

"Shit..." She reached out, hesitating before laying a hand on his forehead.

"He's all messed up, Alex. Seriously."

She looked at him helplessly. "I don't know what to do, Mike. I want him. I told him that I would be okay with adoption, but he still pushed me away." Her thumb stroked his skin. "How do you deal with that?"

"Club him? That's the only way I know to knock sense into that stupid head of his. He tries to do the right thing. He just has trouble with the consequences sometimes. I'll bet a year's pay, he doesn't want to lose you."

"He's the most stubborn son of a bitch I've ever met." She leaned down and kissed his forehead, then sat down beside his bed.

"You've got to be more stubborn, honey. And that's a real job. He loves you, and he wants you. Maybe you haven't seen the heat in his eyes when he looks at you. If you have to play that trump card, then play it. Because losing you simply can't be an option. That will kill him. Literally."

She reached over and slid her hand into her partner's, sighing wearily. "I didn't think he'd wake up before I got back," she said quietly.

"Yeah. That was really bad timing."

"There was something I had to take care of before he woke up." Her free hand reached out, and she caressed his cheek.

"You okay now or do you want me to hang around, just in case? I mean, when he woke up, I had to hold his ass down so they could sedate him."

"Oh, God..." Her hand tightened around his. "It's okay. I'll stay."

"Do you want me to stay, until he wakes up and I know he's okay?"

"If you want to. I can handle him."

Mike rubbed his shoulder. "Uh, not like that, you couldn't."

"Stay if you think you have to, Mike. I don't mind. I'm not leaving again."

"Promise?"

She nodded wearily. "I'm not going to leave."

"Good, cause I'd really feel badly if I had to tie you to that chair."

That brought a small smile to her lips. "You don't have to tie me down. I think I may actually try to take a nap before he wakes up again."

"You have time. I don't think you'll sleep though it."

She nodded and leaned forward in the chair, resting her head on his arm.

An hour later, Bobby stirred. Mike heard him first and he got up from his chair and crossed the room to the bedside, ready to act if he was agitated like he'd been before.

Alex felt his arm move beneath her head, and she quickly sat up and held his hand between hers. "Hey... It's okay, Bobby," she murmured, reaching out to touch his cheek.

He groaned and tossed restlessly. Mike placed a firm hand in the center of his friend's chest. "Cool your jets, pal. Alex is here."

She glared at him, then released Bobby's hand and framed his face in her hands. "Bobby, open your eyes. Look at me."

He shook his head, but he didn't become more agitated. He just didn't want to see her face.

"Hey..." Her thumbs moved lightly over his skin. "I'm not going anywhere. Just look at me..."

He turned his face away, his breathing ragged, and he groaned.

"Bobby, please. Don't do this..." She brushed her lips lightly over his temple.

He shuddered, involuntarily turning his head toward her, until his cheek rested against hers. When he found her mouth, he shuddered again, raising his hand to touch her cheek.

Her tension bled from her body, and she gently cupped his head in her hand, then rested her forehead against his.

"I'm sorry... I wasn't here earlier..." she whispered, pressing her lips to his forehead.

He shook his head. "D-Don't..."

She ran her hand over his hair. "I had something to take care of, and I didn't think I'd be gone that long."

He drew in a few steadying breaths. "Do...not...apologize...to... me," he said carefully, still not looking at her.

She frowned deeply, then decided to take initiative. Carefully, she framed his face in her hands. Then she gently guided his head so that she could see his eyes. "I'm not leaving again, Bobby," she said firmly.

He searched her eyes, but his were sad. "Don't stay because of this, Alex. I haven't been sleeping well, or eating...and it caught up with me."

"I'm staying because I love you, Goren." She leaned in closer so that she could slide her arms around him and hug him gently. Her lips brushed against his ear, and she whispered, "And if you ever scare me like that again..."

"It wasn't intentional," he muttered.

She shook her head, turning slightly so that she was resting on her side beside him. "You scared the hell out of me," she mumbled, rubbing his arm slowly.

"I scared myself."

He was still tense, so she continued to rub his shoulder comfortingly. "I'm... glad I went back..."

He nodded. "So am I. Uh...why did you come back? You said you wouldn't..."

She exhaled deeply. "I... wasn't going to. But I forgot my keys..."

Mike snorted, then laughed. He smacked Bobby's shoulder. "You owe your life to your absent-minded lover."

"Shut up, Logan. I wouldn't have died."

She flinched and pulled away a little. "You... almost did..." she whispered.

Bobby frowned. "What?"

"I was there, Bobby. I... called 911... and when they got there... they couldn't even tell me if you'd be okay or not."

He dropped his head back against the pillows. "Uh, Mike...could you..."

"Yeah, yeah. I'm going. I'm glad you're okay, pal. Got anything to tell Carolyn?"

Bobby shook his head. "No."

"Tell her I said... thanks," Alex spoke quietly.

"Sure...You need to take care of yourself, Bobby. It's not cool scaring the shit out of us." He waved. "Good night, guys."

Alex nodded at him, and when the door closed, she relaxed against the pillows.

He shifted in the bed, uncomfortable and uncertain. "I really messed this up, didn't I?"

She studied him carefully. "Not so bad that you can't fix it."

Cautiously, he asked, "How do I do that?"

She hesitated before snuggling closer to him. "This is a start," she murmured.

"Tell me something..."

"What...?"

"Why do you put up with me?"

She looked at him as though he had lost it. "Because I love you."

He frowned and looked down at his hands. Instead of saying what was on his mind, he bit his lip and remained tense, poking idly at his IV tubing.

She frowned and gently pushed his hand away. "Bobby... we're never going to be okay if you don't talk to me," she whispered, closing her hand over his arm.

He rubbed the back of his neck with his free hand. "No one is perfect," he muttered.

"I know," she assured him.

"And I think..." He became more tense. "Well, I'm not sure...loving me...is the smartest thing you've ever done."

She ran her hand over his arm, then drew him closer, kneading slowly at his back in an effort to relax him. "But I love you. So much."

"But why?" he whispered. "What the hell have I ever done to deserve that?"

She tilted her head to the side. "You've done a lot, and you know it."

"For your friendship, yes. But I'm not sure I deserve more."

"Then let me decide." She brushed her lips lightly against his. "Baby, I'm crazy about you. Please... don't push me away again."

"I don't want to hurt you...and I can't bear being unable to give you something you want so badly."

"What did I tell you, Bobby? We can adopt." She snuggled into his chest. "There are thousands of kids who need homes, just in New York alone."

He sighed. "I know. But it's not the same as having your own. I know how much you want your own baby...and if Carolyn..." He shuddered. "That must hurt you, and I can't handle that."

"And I can't handle losing you. If Carolyn's baby is yours, then it's yours. I'll still be here, and I'll help."

"Even though it hurts?"

"It doesn't matter. Either way, there's going to be a brand new baby in a few months that's going to be in our lives. Whether or not you're Daddy or Uncle Bobby."

"I'm being selfish," he murmured softly.

"No, you're being human."

He shook his head. "What right do I have..."

"You have a right." Her hand slid under his shirt, and she caressed his skin softly.

He caught his breath and in spite of himself, he began to relax a little. He shifted his hips and softly groaned. Shaking his head, he said, "No...I don't...You should have a say..."

"All I want is to be right here." Her hand continued to move gently over his back, pressing him closer into her.

Instinctively, he turned into her, pulling her close. "You do have a right," he murmured softly.

She welcomed his arms around her, and she buried one hand in his hair. "Bobby, I just don't want to lose you." Her eyes dropped. "I'd... I couldn't handle it..."

"That's why you left?"

She breathed deeply. "I... wouldn't have stayed away."

"I wasn't angry. I was just...being an ass."

She slowly lifted her head. "I was going to back off and come back later that night." Her lower lip trembled. "If I hadn't forgotten my keys..."

"Don't fret about that. I'd have been fine."

"No, Bobby! God..." Her shoulders began to shake. "I held you... You were so damn still..."

He started to laugh. "That never happens, does it?"

"It's not funny, Goren!" she snapped, wiping away her tears. "They couldn't even tell me whether or not you'd be okay. They wouldn't even let me ride with you."

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you."

She wrapped her arms around him again and pressed her face into his shoulder to hide the tears that continued to fall. "Please..." she whispered, her voice muffled. "I don't want to lose you."

"Then be honest with me," he murmured into her hair, giving her a gentle kiss.

"I am, Bobby."

"Do you want a baby of your own?"

"I do want a baby, Bobby. But if it means losing you..." Her shoulders slumped and she let out a shaky sigh.

"I didn't ask you that. I asked if you want a baby. Do you want my baby?"

"Yes..."

"I have no right to dismiss that out of hand. You know my fears..."

"I do."

"Do you think it's worth the risk?"

"I think that... your parents had their problems, and you turned out amazing." She brushed her lips against his.

"That's not what I mean and you know it."

She sighed. "It's a roll of the dice any way you look at it, Bobby. And to me... it's worth it."

"You've seen what I've gone through the last couple of years. It's been like that most of my life, and it will never get any better. There is always a chance I could pass it on to a child of my own."

"But look at you. Neither you or your brother inherited it," she pointed out.

"My brother is not the gold standard for well-adjusted men...and neither am I for that matter."

She reached out and caressed his cheek. "But you're proof that even if a parent has that disease, it doesn't mean that the child will."

"But it doesn't mean he won't. And I'm not exactly normal, you know."

"He?" A small smile quirked at her lips. "And no, you may not be normal. But I love you."

He gently caressed her side, bringing his hand to rest on her hip. "I don't know what to do."

She snuggled into him, taking Mike's advice. "A little girl with dark brown curls..." She tilted her head up and kissed his nose. "And your nose. Your smile..." She grinned. "My sense of humor."

He liked that image, and he leaned in and kissed her. "Do you plan to convince me to give you what you want?"

She slid her hand over his back, pressing into the small of his back to draw him closer. "I can..."

"If anyone can..."

She pressed her lips to his, kissing him hungrily.

With a soft groan, he returned her kiss, pinning her legs with his and sliding his hand under her shirt.

She broke the kiss reluctantly, managing, "Baby, we're in the hospital." His hand danced up her spine, and she shuddered.

"I want to go home. Now."

She kissed his forehead, then slowly pulled away. "Let me go see what I can find out, okay?"

"I don't have to stay. I'm fine."

She kissed his forehead, then climbed out of the bed. She didn't really want to leave the room, but if it meant getting to take him home sooner... She quietly slipped out of the room, returning a few minutes later with Bobby's doctor.

Bobby studied the doctor with his usual intensity. "I want to go home."

The doctor stepped forward and said, "Let me give you a once over. All your lab work is normal. You didn't have a heart attack. I'd say you need to try to get some more rest and eat right. Try to reduce the stress in your life..."

Bobby snorted. "And just how do I do that? I'm a cop and my mother is dying. My life is built on a foundation of stress."

Alex reached over and squeezed Bobby's hand, then looked up at the doctor. "He wants to go home today. I can keep an eye on him."

"Are you family?"

She looked at Bobby, silently apologizing. "He's my partner, we're dating..." She swallowed. "And we live together."

The doctor didn't comment, turning to Bobby and examining him. Finally he turned to Alex. "He'll rest?"

"I'll make sure of it."

He looked at Bobby, then back at Alex. "He needs stress relief, too."

She gave Bobby a look, then nodded. "I can take care of that, too."

Finally, the doctor nodded. "I'll have the nurse come in with his discharge papers." He looked at Bobby. "Rest, good nutrition, and stress mitigation, or you'll be back."

Bobby nodded. "I'll do what I can."

She glared at him. "I'll take care of him," she said reassuringly.

A half hour later, they were leaving the hospital.

TBC...

A/N: There ya'll go. Please remember to review, and I'll update as soon as I can!


	31. With Arms Wide Open

An update! Someone call the Pentagon! This chapter takes place about seven and a half months after the last one, so Carolyn's ready to pop. This was definitely one of my favorite chapters to write. Very angsty, with a touch of fluff and smut. You have been warned.

Disclaimer: Not ours!

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Alex grinned as she held her hand over Carolyn's round belly. "Wow... She's really active," she murmured, and Carolyn nodded.

"Yeah, she is." Her head fell back against the back of the couch. Seven and a half months had passed since she had told Mike and Bobby, and at times, she couldn't believe how fast time had flown. She was due any day, and a small part of her was dreading the next part: childbirth.

Alex continued to run her hand over the active baby, surprised when the other woman suddenly tensed. "What's wrong? Do you need something?" she asked, lifting her head and looking at Carolyn.

Carolyn swallowed, her mouth suddenly dry. "I think... I just had a contraction..." she whispered.

Alex stood up, a mixture of anxiety and some excitement written on her face. "Are you sure? Are you sure it's not another false alarm?" _God help us if it is_... She remembered the last time they had thought Carolyn had gone into labor, and how Mike had nearly been in a wreck trying to get to her.

Carolyn nodded shakily. "I think this is it... You'd better call them..."

Alex nodded as she grabbed her keys and cell phone. "Let's get you down to the car, and I'll call them then," she said, trying not to worry as she helped her pregnant friend to her feet.

Carolyn nodded and rubbed her belly, then followed Alex out of the apartment. Her heart was racing. Somehow, she was certain that this wasn't a false alarm.

Both of the women were quiet as Alex led Carolyn out of the building and over to her SUV, then helped her into the passenger's seat. As she hurried to the other side of the vehicle, she pulled her phone out and hit the speed dial for Mike's cell phone. She knew that they were both together, so it wouldn't matter who she called. "Pick up," she muttered, yanking the door open.

Bobby and Mike were at a midtown bar, playing pool. Laughing and joking they didn't hear the phone at first. When it began ringing the second time, Mike pulled it out of his pocket and, with a laugh, he tossed it to Bobby. "It's for you."

Bobby caught the phone and looked at the caller ID. Why wouldn't she call him on his phone? He flipped it open. "Hey."

"Bobby? What are you doing answering Mike's phone?"

"Wondering why you're calling it. He tossed it to me when he saw it was you."

She shook her head. "Forget it. Look, we need you two to meet us at St. Matthew's, now. Carolyn's in labor."

He frowned. "Are you sure this time?"

She groaned and passed the phone into her other hand so that she could start the SUV. "Yeah, we're sure."

Carolyn gasped. "My water just broke!"

"Is she going to deliver in the next hour?"

She frowned. "I don't know. But she just said her water broke."

"All right. We'll be there in a little while."

"Great." She looked at Carolyn. "The guys are going to meet us there."

"Tell Mike not to get in a damn wreck."

Alex returned the phone to her ear. "Don't let Mike drive."

"Don't you think I learned anything last time?"

"Fair enough." She said goodbye, then closed the phone and carefully guided the car out of the parking lot.

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"Are you okay?" Alex asked as Carolyn shifted uncomfortably in the bed.

Fighting not to snap, she answered, "I'm fine, Alex. Just like when you asked five minutes ago..."

Alex nodded. "You're right. Sorry. I hated when my family did that."

Carolyn settled back against the pillows, her hand rubbing her stomach nervously. "Where are they? Shouldn't they have gotten here by now?"

She shrugged. "I don't know." _But when they get here, I'm going to kill them_...

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Mike looked at Bobby for the tenth time since they'd left the bar and asked, again, "Are you sure it's not another false alarm? I haven't had enough to drink if it is, you know."

"Mike, if we show up drunk, they'll both kill us. You're not having anything more until after we have a baby."

"How odd is it not knowing if this kid's yours or mine?"

"Do you care?"

"Not really. I think she does, though."

"I know she does. And she won't relax until paternity testing proves she's yours."

"And if not?"

"I prefer not to dwell on that. I hate disappointing either one of them."

Mike shook his head. "You still think she'd be upset to have your kid?"

Bobby nodded as they turned the corner, still unable to find a cab. How ironic was it to be unable to find a cab in New York? "She would."

"You're an idiot."

"That's why I hang out with you. It makes me seem like less of one."

He frowned as Bobby finally succeeded in hailing a cab. He gave him a dirty look as they got into the cab and Bobby told the driver, "St. Matthew's Hospital." He looked at Mike. "Alex is going to be pissed. She called us two hours ago."

"She'll get over it. Just give her one of those charming smiles."

"That doesn't always work."

"So then you resort to one of those kisses you give her that makes her forget her name."

That made Bobby smile. "That might work..."

Mike laughed. "I know it will, buddy."

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Alex looked at her watch, frowning deeply. Two hours had passed since she had called her partner, and if they hadn't had some kind of emergency, she was going to make sure they were both admitted.

Carolyn groaned softly. "Here comes another contraction..."

Alex returned to the bed and held her friend's hand. "Breathe, Carolyn. Just breathe."

She gripped Alex's hand as tightly as she could, terrified as she tried to breathe through the pain.

Another half hour passed before the door opened and Bobby and Mike came into the room. "We're here," Mike announced. "Did you start without us?"

Carolyn pushed her damp hair out of her eyes, glaring at the two men.

Crossing her arms over her chest, Alex tapped her foot against the floor. "Where the hell have you two idiots been?"

The men looked at each other. Mike shrugged, then told her. "We couldn't find a cab."

"For almost three hours?"

Bobby looked contrite. "We were kind of off the beaten path."

Alex held her hand up and walked back over to the bed.

Bobby looked at Mike and said, "I told you she'd be pissed."

"You're damn right we're pissed!" Carolyn snapped from the bed.

Mike said, "We told you...there weren't any cabs in the neighborhood."

Carolyn opened her mouth to retort, but another contraction made her gasp and lean forward in the bed. "Oh, God..."

Alex glared at the two men again, then took Carolyn's hand and coached, "It's okay, Carolyn. Just breathe..."

Mike moved to the foot of the bed. "Uh, you want me to take over there?"

Alex frowned, but quietly stepped away and allowed Mike to take over.

Mike looked at Bobby and nodded his head toward Alex. Then he lowered himself into the chair she'd just left. "Are you sure about this?" he asked as he took her hand.

"It's a little too late to be asking that, isn't it?" Carolyn answered irritably, gripping his hand.

"That's not what I meant. Are you sure this kid's coming tonight?"

"I sure as hell hope so!"

He leaned back a little. "So do I. I don't think I can handle too many more false alarms."

Alex reached over and hit his shoulder, while Carolyn looked pleadingly at Bobby and Alex.

"What?" he said.

"Dumbass," Alex hissed.

"Bobby, please...?" Carolyn turned her head slightly and held out her other hand.

He stepped up and wrapped his fingers around her hand. Gently rubbing her arm, he let her squeeze his hand. "It's going to pass. Just concentrate on the end result." He shot a glance at Alex.

Alex nodded reassuringly at Bobby, glad for a small respite from playing coach.

Carolyn gripped Bobby's hand, relieved when the contraction finally ended. She slumped back against the pillows, breathing heavily.

Bobby grabbed a face cloth from the bedside table and handed it to Mike, nodding toward the water pitcher. Mike looked at him blankly for a moment before it dawned on him what Bobby wanted. He dumped water from the pitcher onto the facecloth and offered it back to him. Bobby rolled his eyes and jerked his head toward Carolyn. Taking the hint, Mike ran the wet cloth over her face.

She jumped slightly, then allowed her head to sink back into the pillow. "I am so tired," she whispered, closing her eyes.

"Try to rest between contractions if you can," Bobby encouraged.

She nodded and tried to relax, but it didn't come easily.

Six more hours passed, and Alex was standing beside the bed and murmuring encouragingly to Carolyn when the doctor walked in.

She opened her eyes. "Please tell me it's good news."

He examined her and then nodded. "You're about ready, dear. Within the hour, you'll have a little one in your arms."

She groaned softly. Another hour... She felt Mike's hand tighten around hers, and her head fell back against the pillows again.

Alex reached out and gently smoothed back a lock of damp hair. "It's almost over, Carolyn," she said reassuringly.

"I know..." She tensed and sat upright, cursing under her breath. "Here comes another one..."

"Push, Carolyn," the doctor urged.

Her entire body locked as she pushed as hard as she could.

"Again..."

She took a ragged breath and pushed again, her hand tightening around Mike's.

Bobby stood behind the doctor, leaning close to his shoulder as he watched the baby's head crown. The doctor encouraged Carolyn to keep pushing.

Alex gently slid her arm around Carolyn's shoulders and urged her to continue pushing.

Carolyn knew when her baby crowned, and she took a deep breath and pushed one final time before slumping back against the pillows.

Bobby leaned back away from the doctor as he watched the baby slide into the world. When he was able to take his eyes from the baby, he looked at Alex.

Alex met Bobby's eyes, and she blinked back tears and mouthed, Love you.

His eyes glowed and his face softened as he mouthed the same back to her. Stepping around to where she sat at Carolyn's side, he rested his hands on her shoulders, squeezing as he said, "It's a girl, Carolyn."

She forced her eyes open and looked around. "Where is she...?"

"They're checking her over in the warming bed over there. They'll bring her to you in a minute."

She nodded, her eyes sliding shut again.

Mike wandered over to the little bed and watched them work on the little girl. Bobby leaned down and kissed Alex's neck. It was almost eleven o'clock and it had been a very long day.

Several minutes later, one of the smiling nurses carried the little pink bundle over to the bed. As she settled her in Carolyn's waiting arms, she said, "Do we have a name for this little girl?"

Carolyn looked at Bobby and Mike, then answered, "Her name is Kiska Aleshanee."

The nurse nodded and wrote it down on a clipboard. "That's a very pretty name."

Carolyn smiled and touched her little girl's cheek, exhaling softly.

Mike leaned over and looked at the little face. "Big name for such a little thing."

She sighed, settling back against the pillows. It was all over, and her daughter was here, safe and sound. She could finally relax. Yawning, she gently pressed her finger to her daughter's palm, then smiled when Kiska's eyes opened.

Mike studied the little face, then looked at Bobby and back at the baby. He shook his head. "I can't tell who she looks like."

Carolyn gave him a strange look. "She's too young to look like anybody but herself."

"So there's no way to avoid a blood test?"

She shook her head slightly. "I... don't think so."

He frowned. "Why does it matter anyway? We're both gonna be around."

Bobby answered him. "It matters," he said, his tone odd.

"You both may be around, but what is she going to do? Call you both Daddy?" she pointed out.

Bobby bit his lip. "That's a non-issue. She can call Mike Daddy; I don't care about that. That's not why you need to know."

She sighed heavily. "Do we have to talk about this right now? I just gave birth to her, and I'm going to sleep."

Bobby waved a hand in the air. "Fine." He crossed the room and looked out the window into the city beyond the building.

Tears slipped down her cheeks, and she looked at the baby cradled in her arms, who had closed her own eyes. "I know," she whispered. "It's been a long day for both of us."

Alex followed Bobby and silently rested a hand on the small of his back.

He lowered his head, chin to his chest and drew in a deep breath, slowly shaking his head.

Her arms slid around his waist, and she rested her head against his back, sighing wearily.

Settling back against the pillows, Carolyn continued to study her daughter as she felt sleep looming over her.

Mike got up and gently took the baby from her arms. "Go to sleep, Carolyn. You can worry about whatever later."

She wanted to protest, but her weary body had other plans. Her head rested against the pillows and she finally gave into an exhausted sleep.

Mike held the baby in his arms and looked at her. Then he looked at the couple across the room. He pressed a kiss to her head and walked over to the window. "Hey, Bobby..." When Bobby turned, he stepped forward and laid the newborn in his arms. "The way I see it, this kid's a quarter yours, until we find out different. I know I'll be raising her because I live with her mother, but I fully expect you to be around."

He returned to the bed and dropped into a chair, watching.

Bobby looked at him, then at the baby in his arms. Even just a few minutes old, she was a cuddly little thing. He looked at Alex, seeking her response to the day's events.

She met his gaze and gave a small smile. As exciting as the day was, and as happy as she was for her friend and her baby, she couldn't help but feel a small twinge of envy. One that had been there for nine months.

He wasn't reassured by the small smile because he saw the sorrow in her eyes. Hoping he wouldn't make matters worse, he leaned closer and placed the little girl, who might be his daughter, in her arms.

She was shocked by his actions, but she couldn't stop the warmth that spread through her at the new life now sleeping innocently in her arms. Dark hair peeked out from beneath the tiny pink hat, and her arms tightened protectively around the newborn. Unable to raise the volume of her voice for fear of it breaking, she whispered, "Hi there, sweetheart. Looks like you finally made your big debut..."

Bobby relaxed a little. He had done the right thing. He looked at Mike, who nodded with a smile. Bobby nodded back, but he wasn't able to summon any semblance of a smile. He turned back to the window.

After holding her for several minutes, Alex finally went to Mike and laid Kiska in his arms, then pressed her hand to her mouth. Clearing her throat, she said, "I'm going to... go get something to eat. I'll be back in a little while."

Mike watched her leave, waiting for Bobby to go after her. When he didn't move, Mike said, "Don't be stupid. Go talk to her."

Bobby turned from the window and looked at his friend. "I don't think..."

"Good. Don't think. Do. Go talk to her."

He hesitated for another moment before he stepped away from the window and left the room. Mike looked at the baby in his arms. "Your Uncle Bobby is a brilliant man, but he can be an idiot from time to time."

The baby stirred at his voice. Her eyelids fluttered, and she snuggled closer into him as she yawned.

Bobby found her in the cafeteria, sitting off by herself with a cup of coffee. With a sigh, he crossed the room to her and sat across from her. Folding his hands on the table, he looked at them, uncertain. He didn't want to say anything until he knew why she was upset.

She looked up, her eyes shining. "Hey."

"Wh-what's wrong?"

She sighed, wiping at her eyes. "It's just... been a long day..."

"And what else?"

She stared down into her coffee cup. "I took another test this morning," she answered quietly.

His eyes diverted to the tabletop again. "No?"

Her shoulders shuddered. "No."

"Oh, baby...I-I'm sorry. You should have said something."

She leaned forward and buried her face in her hands, breathing heavily. "You and Mike were gone, and I didn't want... to bother you. Then Carolyn went into labor..."

He frowned, reaching forward to fondle her hair. "B-Bother me? Don't you know by now that you are my first priority, always? I can play pool and drink with Mike anytime. When you need me...I have to be there. I would have come right home."

She stood up and walked around the table, burying herself in his arms. "Why...? What's wrong with me?" She hid her face in his shoulder and fought back the torrent of tears.

He wrapped his arms around her and held her close. Kissing her head, he said softly, "Maybe the problem's not with you."

She clung tightly to him, shaking slightly. "I just... want this to happen so much..."

His mouth was set in a grim line. "You had no trouble carrying your nephew. I...don't think you are the problem, baby."

Snuggling closer to him, she whispered, "It's been nearly seven months... Maybe we should..." She had a hard time bringing herself to finish the sentence. "See someone, for help."

"Can we...give it a little more time? I mean...I...I really enjoy...trying..." He sighed. "I don't know if I'm ready to, uh, remove the physical part of it...just yet."

She nodded, unable to contain a small smile. "I do, too."

"Maybe we can...try harder...er, uh, more...or...well, you know what I mean..."

Her smile widened fractionally. "Yeah... I know..."

"Do you want to..." He caught his breath when her hand stroked his side. "Uh...let's go home..."

She nodded slowly. "I do..."

He kissed her, soft and reassuring. "I'll do whatever you want..."

She returned his kiss eagerly. "I want to go home," she repeated. "But..." She groaned softly. "Let's get Mike some food first. I doubt he's going to leave Carolyn right now..."

"You don't know him very well. We should get him some food so he doesn't leave..."

She rolled her eyes as she kissed him softly, then stood up again. "Pick something out, and we'll take it to him on our way out."

He grabbed two sandwiches, an apple and a large coffee. After paying for the food, they headed back up to the maternity ward.

She let Bobby go in first, then followed him into the room. She smiled a little when she saw that Mike was near the window, the baby still carefully cradled in his arms.

Bobby set the food on the tray table near the bed and stepped up to his friend's side. "We got you something to eat. Uh, congratulations on the baby. We're gonna cut out now."

"Are you sure I'm the one who should be congratulated?"

Bobby looked at Alex, then he nodded. "Yeah, I am. She's your baby, and I think the tests Carolyn wants will bear that out. I'm pretty sure about it." He squeezed Mike's shoulder, then leaned over to kiss the baby's head. "Good night, Mike."

Alex leaned against the wall and nodded at Mike. "Have fun. We'll be back tomorrow."

Mike didn't miss the look Bobby cast at Alex. "I think you're gonna be the one having fun," he answered with a grin, laughing at the flush that crept into Alex's face.

She growled and glared daggers at him. "Logan..."

He snickered. "I couldn't resist." He nodded at his friend. "I know that look," he laughed.

"If you weren't holding that baby..."

"If I wasn't holding this baby, do you think I would have said it?"

Alex motioned to the door. "Come on, Bobby, before I make you take the baby and I toss Mike out the window."

Bobby winked at Mike and gave him a brief smile. Mike's grin widened. "Have fun, buddy."

She started to advance on him.

Bobby snaked his arm around her waist and kissed her neck. "Come on," he whispered into her ear.

She glared at Mike, then settled against Bobby. "Okay. Let's go."

With a smile at his friend, Bobby guided her out of the hospital room. Once they were out of the room, he nuzzled her neck again, gently nipping soft skin. He was determined to make her forget the grief of the negative pregnancy test.

She groaned softly. "Bobby... wait until we get home..."

Ignoring her request, he teased her ear with his tongue.

"Baby..." She slid her hand under his shirt, teasing the warm skin she found there.

By the time they got to the car, he was more than ready, and he really didn't care where they were. He pinned her to the car with his hips, kissing her deeply and teasing the soft skin beneath her shirt with his fingers.

She groaned softly and managed to open the door to the backseat, laughing quietly as they tumbled into the backseat.

He followed her into the backseat, face buried in her neck, one hand supporting her and the other seeking out a firm, round breast. His thumb toyed with a firm nipple and he sought out her mouth again.

Her back arched as she groaned and closed her eyes.

He caught his breath and swallowed hard. "We, uh...we probably should take this home..." He teased her lips with his tongue.

She slid her hand past the waist of his pants. "We could... we probably should..."

He gasped and closed his eyes. "W-we...should..."

She snickered and moved one hand over his back, while the other cupped him firmly. "But we probably won't..."

"Not...if you keep that up..."

She kissed him gently and smiled when he tugged at her shirt. She raised her hips and let him fight with the zipper while she pulled off his shirt and tossed it aside.

He got the zipper down and pushed her pants over her hips, then went to work on her shirt, seeking out her breasts with a single-minded intensity.

Her hand cupped the back of his head, and she gently pulled his lips down to hers, kissing him intensely.

He pressed into her and groaned. "Oh, baby..."

Her arms went around his neck as she arched her back and pressed into him. "Now," she whispered, pressing her forehead to his.

"God...yes..."

Her hips bucked involuntarily as she found his lips with hers again and kissed him hungrily.

He gave what she needed, what they both needed, and when she panted and gasped, bucking against him, he let himself go as well.

Her mind spun, and she gently cradled him against her, absently stroking the back of his neck. "That was amazing," she whispered, once she was able to form a coherent sentence.

"L-Let's go home..." he huffed softly into her ear.

She groaned. "I... don't think I can move..."

A half hour later, he parked and turned to look over the seat into the back. "How are you doing back there?"

She returned his look. "Sore," she joked, absently rubbing her stomach.

"Up for another round?"

Her eyelids grew heavy. "Bring it on."

"How about coming upstairs with me, so I can do it properly?"

She pushed herself upright, then leaned forward and kissed his shoulder. "That I could be talked into..."

He leaned over the seat and caught her mouth, kissing her gently, then teasing her with his tongue.

She broke the kiss reluctantly. "Okay, you win."

He kissed her again, deeper this time. Then he slid out of the car, opening the door for her once she was dressed.

She climbed out of the car, growling softly once she was on her feet. She turned and reached into the backseat, picking up her bra and balling it up in her hands.

He laughed softly, gently teasing her with experienced fingers.

She grinned and chased him into the apartment building, her hands playfully grabbing at his sides.

When they got to the apartment, he was out of breath, turning to pull her against him. He drew her into a mind-numbing kiss, losing track of everything but her once again.

She eagerly pressed herself into him and lost herself in the kiss, her foot kicking the door shut.

He fully intended to guide her back into the bedroom, but he again lost track of everything as his mouth claimed hers and his hands caressed and tickled her skin, seeking the heated response that drove him nuts.

Her hands came up against his chest, and she gently pushed him back against the couch and straddled him, her hands pulling at his shirt.

Offering no resistance, he let her remove his shirt. She had only just gotten her shirt back on, but it soon joined his on the floor. He smiled at the absence of her bra and set to playing with her bare breasts.

She groaned and gripped his shoulders tightly with her hands. She could feel his excitement already, and she reached down and pressed her hand between them, grinning.

He gave her a wicked grin, leaning forward to tease her with his tongue while his hands did more teasing of their own below her waist. Fair is fair...

She struggled to control herself as she fumbled with his pants, growling when she couldn't move them over his hips. "Oh, hell..."

He laughed and continued his teasing.

Another low growl escaped her throat, and she slid away and forced his pants down, then began moving over him.

With a soft gasp, he let her take control, knowing how they both loved it when she took charge.

Her chest heaved as she found his neck with her mouth and bit down gently.

With a groan, he grasped her hips and pulled her down, arching toward her at the same time.

She wiggled her hips against his hands, then moved down again, a soft groan passing her lips.

He always struggled to maintain control of every aspect of his life, but with her, he was learning to let go more often. And that was what he did now. He let go.

Her release quickly followed his, and she settled against his chest, breathing deeply.

He groaned softly, holding her against him. "I need you," he whispered.

She snuggled into his arms, sated and content. "I need you, too..."

"No, I really mean that, Alex. I need you...like I need air to breathe."

Her hand reached up and ran slowly through his thick hair. "I'm not going anywhere." She kissed his neck softly.

He lightly caressed her back. "I am...sorry...about everything..."

"I know." Her mind drifted back to seven months ago, when she had come so close to losing him that she thought she'd never be okay again. She exhaled slowly. "Do you...want to go back to the bedroom?"

His remorse slid away as quickly as it had come. "I'm all for it," he murmured.

She smiled and slowly slid away, completely confident in her own body as she crossed the floor and headed in the direction of their bedroom.

He wasted no time following her.

TBC...

A/N: Okay, so they're having a bit of trouble getting pregnant. Not that Bobby minds trying too much... The next chapter, Mike gets used to being a Daddy, and Bobby and Alex get a surprise... Hope ya'll enjoyed, and please remember to review!


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